Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Stripper Party

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Shane and O'Connies are coming off yet another big weekend on the road. Shane kept things low key due to his morality/tummy problems. Meanwhile O'Connies forged a strong alliance with a doomed soul who attempts to lead him toward the isle of the sirens. Cusk's channeling powers are tested when Shane, doing the bidding of the Orion group, test's his FAITH in the one true creator, Adonai.  

Yo, what's up bros? What's good? What's going on bros? Close the door, dude. Shut the motherfucking door, dude. It's time. It's time to start it up. What's going on, dude? Kick it off, dude. Special guest in the studio. Last cast of 2019. Oh, wow, yeah. Big year for us. Big one, dude. Big year. Yeah, a lot changed. It was a big year. Nothing changed, though.

A lot changed, but nothing changed. Heard that. We're still in the studio, dude. Still a Chevy 454, dude. Ain't nothing stopping us. We're joined by the turd, Chris O'Connor, who really, we went down to Magoobie's this weekend in Timonium, Maryland, and Chris humiliated himself time and time. I thought Thursday was a low point and then Friday came

and I thought there's no way he can dig deeper and then Saturday. I have to ask do you feel constantly humiliated on some level?

What? When he's acting like that? Just like Chris Conner humiliated himself again. No. Me? No, no, no.

Not this weekend. So you were just chilling you were just watching him i just got to watch him get fucking shit face which is funny because like last night before i got on he got off stage and then by the time i got off stage he was already like a little fucked up can you speak to that what was going on last yeah last night i just i last night yesterday i felt so bad it just felt terrible Why?

And I don't like Because we were just drinking the night before Yeah So like Sorry to cut you Like I got lucky Because Thursday we got a little fucked up You got fucking shit faced

But I was I wasn't that bad How have you been doing this then? How have you flipped the switch? And then Friday I just didn't feel good after the show So I just went home Not like

But I like wasn't doing shots Or like getting fucked up Sure I just felt like shit good after the show so I just went home. But I wasn't doing shots or getting fucked up. I just felt like shit. And then last night, same thing. Once I saw him, I was like, alright, somebody's got to control this thing. How have you been doing that though? How have you been just cutting back on the drinks? Well, I just don't feel good

taking shots and shit. It just feels like shit. True. Yeah. And also. And you gotta stay crisp. And when you have two shows, and yes, you have to, yeah, if you do a weekend and you're hungover, it hurts.

I mean, you could, in theory, any given weekend, call in a bomb threat to a train and fuck yourself off, dude. True. Like, that's pretty close. Yeah. You gotta think of the fire you're playing with. If you black out like you could ruin everything yeah i know i know for sure and uh no it's like i yeah i didn't feel good

so that helped and then saturday normally i'd be depressed staying in the hotel room all day but notre dame was on at noon there you go perfect. Perfect. Woke up at fucking noon, watched the Irish. Watched the Irish handle business, dude. They won. Just a camping sports bowl trophy. Nothing. That's just standard operation. Who'd they play? Yeah.

Iowa State. Great Iowa State team. Iowa State. You know who they are. Who? What's their name? The Iowa State. Not the Buckeyes.

Oh, close. Yeah, it's close. The Bucs. Yes. The Bucs. The Milwaukee. The Iowa State Bucs. What's The Bucs. The Milwaukee Iowa State Bucs. What's their name?

Cyclones. Cyclones. You like that? Do they also have like a bird as a mascot? They do. Yeah. It's like the

Cy-Hawk. No, it's the Cy-Hawk trophy. You're talking about Miami, bro. Miami also has a bird. Yeah, yeah. Sebastian. And they're named

the Hurricanes. And they're the Hurricanes. What is the connection between birds and dangerous weather patterns in terms of mascots? I don't know. I don't know how they got started.

Perhaps they notify the locals by getting out of Dodge. Oh, they see the birds. And so when you saw those birds flying away, you were like, trouble's coming. Wait, who came first? Because if you're the Iowa Cyclones who are also a bird, then you see the Miami Hurricanes who are also a bird. Is there kind of of a rivalry there? I just assume Miami had to be first.

No, I bet Iowa State. I would say Iowa, yeah. Iowa State probably had football before Miami. You think so? Yeah. Where did football start? Rutgers. East Coast.

College football started there, yeah. Now we're talking. Anyway, let's get back to your fucking pathetic, pathetic weekend. It disgusted me. Well, part of my dream. I was on a mission. I was on a mission. We were trying to have a stripper party.

Again, dude. What do you got? A mouse in your pocket? Who the fuck is we? Shut the fuck up. No, dude. Hold on. What's your show?

No, no, no. What's your show? No, no. You came up to me at the bar. I don't know if you remember this. Yeah, yeah. Drunken slo no no you came up to me at the bar i don't know if you remember this yeah yeah drunken slob you came up to me it was like do you want to go to a stripper club and i was like no a stripper club no no no i said no i said i'm not leaving this bar i'm not going right right well that what was that thursday i think that was friday i was putting certain things in motion that was gonna allow for allow for a a late night Saturday house party with strippers.

Where did you find the strippers? How did you know? There was a connection. There was a guy that we met who was dating a stripper who was like, come over to our place. She's going to bring all her friends from work. We'll have a party. Yeah. So this is strippers who just got done

like delivering handjobs coming to chill. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Delivering handjobs. That was right up the turd's alley. The turd was, he was bird dogging that all weekend.

You were excited about it too. Don't pretend like you weren't excited about it. Shut the fuck up. So they were warm. You were. You were. You were 100% on board with that. No, I was not.

It disgusts me that you do that. Oh my God. So they were warmed up. You were. You are 100% on board with that. No, I was not. It disgusts me that you do that. Oh, my God. So they were warmed up. What? The strippers. They were warmed up. Well, it didn't wind up happening. It didn't happen because Chris sabotaged his own fucking plan. Who was this guy?

We can't get into who he was. Sure, but I mean, like, that's a wild. He was Chris's buddy. Your boy. We became fast friends. Everywhere I saw, every time I saw either of them after, it was those two thick as thieves. I think that's one of those things when you're dating a stripper, you want all your boys to also date strippers. Yeah, I'd be like, look, strippers are cool.

Like, nothing weird about this. Yeah, I didn't know him before I met him. I met him down there. Sure. Sounds like a guy you meet kind of randomly. Yeah, yeah. This is Chris's pal. His hombre.

His amigo. Randomly? Yeah, yeah. This is Chris's pal. His hombre. His amigo. Shout out to a dude who can date strippers and live in that realm and not kind of get weirded out. Well, the tale has a sad ending for this character.

Was he perfectly bald? No. No, he's like a young, decent looking dude. I'm thinking of the son from The Deuce. Oh, when I left. Who sets up all the fucking sex parties. When i left on friday i had a tummy ache wasn't feeling great damn yeah i just i took like a shot of tequila i was like all right i'm going home and i gave you a tummy ache yeah gave me like indigestion i was like i feel like shit that

sounds fun i'm getting out of here woo yeah party time tequila i was like oh fuck i got acid reflux took like a tums from the owner. I was like, do you have any Tums? He gave me a big thing of Tums. I was getting wild. It was party time. One shot of tequila, three Tums, bedtime. But before I left.

You took more than one shot of tequila, right? I don't think I'm buying. No, the most I took was two shots of fucking Fireball last night. I hadn't had that in forever. That's hot. It wasn't great. I believe that was Brock fucking Fireball last night. I hadn't had that in forever. That's hot. Yeah, it wasn't great. I believe that was Brock Turner's drink of choice. Really?

Fireball, yeah. But go on. Brock Turner, yeah. I think that was everybody's back then. True. Back in the Brock era. True. Yeah.

True, that's true. But the early to late aughts. Yeah. But anyway, when I left on Friday, I saw Chris and his strip club partner scheming at the bar. Both of them sitting at the corner. Hard as fuck. Just figuring, devising the plan. A couple of fucking cumors, dude.

Chris was bird-dogging hard. It was like a little terrier getting into a hole, getting into a fucking ground. He was just hunting. He was like, where is this stripper party? I was playing it pretty cool. I was sitting relaxed at the bar. You know,

if the stripper party happens, it happens. If not, I was doing it. He came back Friday night. It was so funny. Which is really funny

because I was in bed and Chris came in, got in his bed and he was like, got a little stripper party on Saturday and he was, first off,

I was in bed, he jumped on me so you had a bellyache I had a tummy ache no I got back to the place dropped a pile felt great just released a pile

and I felt fine so you had a mud pie I had a mud pie with gas gas like that hurt I was like I'm just getting the fuck out of here

you ever have to like fart you have gas so bad like your arm hurts and you're like ah shit you have gas in your lungs I arm hurts, and you're like, ah, shit. You have gas in your lungs. I just filled with farts. That is the one downside of Magoobies is there's not a good toilet.

There is not a good toilet at Magoobies. You've got to dump with the civilians. That's whack, dude. You've got to dump with the common peasants. Really? I did a couple times. I dropped one on yesterday. Dropped a pile.

Dropped a pile all the way. But no, I just had to pile out. And then once I hit the pile, Chris came in. First off, I kept acting like, man, you should be like me. Sober, left the bar. I left like an hour before the bar closed. I left at like 1.30. And I was like, you need to be more responsible.

But he came home just drunk as a skunk he jumped on the bed i was like dude i'm fucking naked get off me you get like it's so annoying you guys fucked around then he gets in his bed and he's like curled up like it's a sleepover he's like i got a stripper party tomorrow we got a stripper party i was like what's up with that stripper he got me my ears My ears perked up. I was like, what's going on with this? And he was like, don't worry about it. He just wanted to give me the details. I was like, tell me where it is.

I was so excited. I was so excited. That is exciting news. Cat leaving like a mouse in the front door. Oh, it was great. That's like high school dance excitement. That's the only way you can re-channel high school dance. I was stoked about this stripper party at this point.

I was like, this is going to be the best night. I mean, what do you think about stripper prom? If a strip club held a prom you can go on to? That sounds so nice. You go online, you order your favorite prom date. Hooker prom would be sick. Actually, you have to go ask the... You have to go to the strip club.

Or it could be Sadie Hawkins. Where the strippers ask the guys at the club and be like, Hey,'s or it could be sadie hawkins where the strippers ask the guys at the club and be like hey next week we're having prom will you be my date that's pretty nice see i think the exciting part is hanging out outside of the venue yeah there's always an after party after prom you know well i guess that's true well that's the venue would be at a dance hall you just take the strippers exactly. Run out like a fire hall or something. I would want to just... Get like a Buck Cherry cover band.

Oh, dude. Now you're talking. I don't know. The less formal, the better to me. I think just a house party. You're trying to cash? A house party. Yeah, a house party.

Well, then the after party's at a house party. After the, you know... Yeah, I can't usually make it that long. True. You got fucking... I can't. He was blacking out like, while I on stage i would get off stage like what's happening hey god damn what happened maybe once last night that was last night 33 percent of the

time why chris i was just well that's the thing is he was when when you feel shitty from drinking you can you're faced with that crossroads of like, should I just pack it up and go home? Yeah. Or just keep drinking? I don't have that in me. Once I feel sick, I'm like, I'm not doing that for a long time. Yeah, no, I like...

It's a nice thing for you. That's just what happens. I feel so disgusted. Not like disgusted, more like I feel sick and my body feels fucked up and I'm like, I have to avoid this substance now.

I think that's what happened to me this weekend. This is the first weekend I didn't get drunk. I'm finally hitting a wall. The Holy Spirit filled you with gas, dude. The Holy Spirit did fill me with a pile. My ass was speaking in tongues. Thinking of you at the stripper party, out on a balcony overlooking Timonium,

and some lady's like, what's the matter, babe? You're like, I got so many fucking farts in me, dude. But no, the stripper party got ruined because Chris. No, I didn't do anything wrong. Chris. You ruined stripper prom? He did ruin stripper prom because him and his pal got so fucked up at the bar sitting on the corner playing. And he was driving the train.

He was driving the train. I was buying beers and stuff like that. What do you mean driving the train? Well, Chris is trying to alleviate the guilt. Yeah. Tell him what happened. You can fully not go along with this. So we were hanging out late, drinking at the bar, and then I went home, jumped in bed with Shane,

got excited about the stripper party, and woke up. That was the closest to Christmas Eve I've felt in a long time. Just little kids in bed like, tomorrow is the stripper party. Yes, yes. And I woke up to a message from him being like, damn, dude, I got a DUI. That night? Yeah, he left the planning of the stripper party. Called it Dewey.

Tell them what happened. What's going on with his relationship How's that affecting his relationship I can't imagine it's great I imagine strippers tend to like to be driven to work And dropped off Although there's some strippers that have it in them To like fully support a dude who's just down and out

That's what this situation was Like the I think his girl was kind of like I got you She was the breadwinner She was the headwinner. Yeah, yeah. She was the headwinner. Yeah, but you don't want your stripper girlfriend

having to work double time. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? He's like, I'm going to have to get a job to pay for the lawyer and all that shit. Dude, yeah,

you can go to jail for like first offense. Especially, he was flying, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Plus, if they checked his text and saw that he was planning a stripper party.

Especially, yeah. They're going to get you. They're going to get you they might come and they might be subpoena you like were you supposed to go to the stripper party and you're like i just kept fucking with chris being like they're gonna check the security footage at the club and see you dude just getting bombed no no don't see me going to the bathroom being like i'm it's time for me to go home going to the bathroom coming out new beer there all right i me to go home, going to the bathroom, coming out, new beer there. All right, I'll drink this one. Drink that one. Took a piss.

Come back. New beer. So I was. It's never your fault. It's not my fault. What's up with that? It's never your fault. What's up with me?

Why do you keep giving you beers? Like, bro, what the fuck? What are you trying to fuck me, dude? Well, I didn't know he was driving. I figured he would like. You should have stopped him. That's what I said. No, you should have.

I had no idea he was driving. Anyone I drink with, like bro where's your keys yeah put him in the fishbowl yes you guys do that's for sure every time it's such a buzz kill don't you think just no dude I'd rather be safe bro yeah better safe than sorry my friend was planning me a stripper party the least I could know he had a car I assumed I didn't know he had a car probably a Dodge I knew I knew. I didn't even know he had a car. I assumed, well, I did know he had a car. Probably a Dodge. I knew, but I didn't know he drove.

Dodge Charger for sure. Also, I figured he would just take an Uber home or Lyft or whatever. No. Why not? Because he has

a stripper girlfriend, dude. He's not going to do anything else. She was home. She was home. She was home. He didn't do anything that makes sense.

So Chris ruined their stripper party And that guy That guy used his So yeah I asked him the next day I was like So that stripper party

Is probably off then Huh? Yeah that was all he cared about Oh man He didn't care about his new friend Yeah No I feel Are you still in touch with this guy?

Yeah You should see him through this whole thing I do want to I hope it goes well He's in a You're going to leave him in the dust He's in a rough spot You're going to leave him in the dust Her You're going to leave him in the dust.

Her parents, her parents picked him up from the police station. God damn. This is like the most responsible stripper I've ever heard of. Yeah. She's got her shit together. Didn't you tell me she just came out as a stripper to her parents? Yeah.

Like she had just told her parents. It's like, that's what she's doing. It's rough. And then they had to pick the boyfriend up from jail. The DUI. It's like, holy fuck. What happened to our little girl? Yeah, she's doing. It's rough. And then they had to pick the boyfriend up from jail. The DUI. It's like, holy fuck, what happened to our little girl? Yeah, it's rough.

It's rough. All because greedy little Chris needed to lube up this guy for a stripper party. You just trash this guy's life and then you move on to the next town. Look, I took care of my part of the deal, you know? What was your part of the deal? What was your part of the deal? What was your part of the deal? To show up to the stripper party. To get him fired up to do it.

I do regret not being able to see you at a stripper party. Oh, my God. Seeing O'Connor buzzing around at a stripper party. Trying to be cash. It would be so funny. Well, you'd have to try to be, like, cash a little bit. Yeah, but then half hour in, he'd be shit-faced. No, I would probably keep it under control.

No, you wouldn't. If we went to the strip party, you would have got hammered, and probably within an hour, probably before people started showing up, you would have already cornered a girl, and been like, I'll give you a hundred bucks for a head. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Chris.

You know, I'm not that aggressive like that. I don't want to for a head. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Chris. You know, I'm not that aggressive like that. I don't want to be a judge. I don't want to come off judging at this guy dating a stripper. It's just, it's a tough choice, dude. It's a, I feel like it's one that's usually made kind of hastily. Well, he was like, he was saying that, like,

she just stripped. She doesn't, like, do anything outside of that. Jesus Christ, bro. He was like, she was like, as long as that's happening, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of drugs are they doing?

I don't, I don't know. They seem like they seem pretty chill. Yeah. Yeah. It seemed all right. Good. Yeah. It's making sure you're not getting like, and like, it sounded like she was pretty like

normal too. Like it, it honestly, it sounded like sounded like they had a really nice thing going. How old is she? 18. What? Bro. God damn it. You didn't tell me the stripper party would have been lit.

Fuck. Fuck. I know. I know. I was doing all this good work. Fucking underage supplying minors with booze. Fuck, that would have been a pathetic end. Oh, my God.

Hold on. She's 18. Yeah. And he's taking the word of his 18-year-old stripper girlfriend that no extracurricular activities are happening. Look, let's not judge this man. I'm not judging. I'm not judging you enough. I want to let him know.

But now that I knew she was 18, the stripper party would have been crazy. It would have been amazing. No, Chris, it would have been crazy. It would have been amazing. No, Chris, it would have been bad. It would have been amazing. Dude, you guys would have gone on Epstein's Island. It would have been absolutely. We were talking about that. We went to the fucking mall, and there's just hot kids everywhere.

And we were like, dude. He turned around and looked at these kids. I was like, dude, that girl was like 15. What are you doing turning around and checking her out? You're going to stand with these accusations? I was window shopping. I was looking, dude, that girl was like 15. What are you doing turning around and checking her out? You're going to stand with these accusations? I was window shopping. I was looking around the mall. I was looking around the mall.

I can look in any direction I want. It's free country. A 15-year-old walked by in yoga pants. Maybe 14. I can have binoculars in the mall. He was the one who pointed them out. All I said was, Jesus Christ. That's what I said.

What was that remember like God they're so young get out of here yeah young and there was young hot chicks yeah it was disgusting and so my mind's not in that like thinking about that stuff around I don't look at 15 year old kids so this was I was I was looking I was like I need sweat, I need sweatpants. I need my sweatpants. You're about to go to the shimmer party, so you need some sweatpants? Yeah, dude. I need some very sheer sweatpants. Yeah.

So the strip... But then we were like, dude... Then Chris was like, thank God I wasn't powerful enough to have access to Epstein. That's what he said. He said he would have definitely faltered. I did say that. Billy and Spud are going to get in your ass. Thank God.

You are a chomo, dude. Don't you feel that way, too? are going to get in your ass. Thank God. Don't you feel that way too? Dude, honest to goodness, dude, I was taking a nap the other day. And I was sitting there and I was thinking about Epstein's Island. I was just like, Bill Clinton, allegedly, but probably, was fucking 17-year-old girls. I'm like, boy, what a tough Jones to fall into. Yeah. What a forbidden fruit. I mean it's so again you got to kind of be a monster to get do that

but if you're already getting here's the problem though if you're getting hookers left and right and snap up a kind of pay attention if you're getting hooker I'm hanging on every word. I'm speaking from a damaged fucking bot. You start getting in the hooker realm,

and then you start, you know, it's just a lawless realm. Yeah, so you're already not obeying the laws, and then, like, you're not IDing these chicks, and you're like, whoa, this chick's super fucking hot. Turns out your old buddy Jeffrey's like, yeah, you like that? After she blows you, she's 16,

and you're like, ah, fuck, I like that. And then it's like like what you gonna do i'm not defending the man i'm not defending the epstein's i'm saying i mean think about i mean yeah it's easy to be like it's fucked up it's like bro you get into big money wheel u.s politics billionaires chilling everyone's kind of doing whatever the fuck they want you're all fucking hot chicks all of a sudden you're just like and we were only looking at girls at the towson mall yeah that was our pool yeah i mean imagine the global kids snizz that they were just imagine your weakest moment like just like your weakest moment it's not a great line but

and and just like epstein calls and is like i'm going to the island see i would have shut it i would have sat with the staff and been like now bro i'm not fucking this is fucked yeah if you have time to decline the invite that's if you were there it'd be like oh fuck they got me yeah i'm giving no but if i'm i'm not going there yeah i'm not giving quarter to pedos i'm saying this it's not just like bill clinton was like i want i mean i again i'm speaking on stuff i have no fucking idea about but i doubt someone like, I need some young sniz. It's like, you're just being a pussy hound all around your guards down. You let the fucking, you let the side down.

Like, I love that. What Prince Andrew said. It's like, I let the side down. Yes. I'll admit. And you're just fucking around, fucking around. It's like, that's a gradual slide. Yeah.

The fucking 17 year old. You like get on the plane and there's just like all those girls in there. Man, I can't believe you turned around at that chick at the mall. I forgot about that. You were the one who I wouldn't even notice. You saw her. They walked right fucking past us. You pointed it out.

You were like, look at those girls. Ew. No, I didn't. Chris, look at them. Look at them fibbing. Look at them smiling. Wait, so this is after the stripper party was off? No, this is the stripper party planning.

Yeah, yeah. You're like, should we invite them yeah yeah the wheels were in motion at this point for a potential stripper party yeah whether it was going to happen then then later on that day it was like we're i had nothing to do i mean i swear to god i had nothing to do with the strip party no you didn't you didn't thank you something i was doing that was chris was concocting on your behalf because i was Chris was concocting. On your behalf, because I knew you'd like it. I knew you'd like it. It was a nice thing that I was doing. I declined it. Nice gift.

I declined it. He didn't decline it. Yeah, you tried to go see the strippers. When? One of those nights, and I said, I'm not leaving this bar. I'm staying here and then going to the hotel. Did that happen? Yeah, you also.

What? You also. Wait, hold on. What was the first word you said? Don't talk over. What was the first word you said? Yeah. Yeah.

At some point. Confirmed. Next topic. What's going first word you said? Don't talk over it. What was the first word you said? Yeah. Yeah. At some point. Confirmed. Next topic. What's going on with you? At some point over the weekend, I suggested going to a strip club. So did you. Did you guys, either of you, get hard at the thought of the stripper party? I haven't been hard in months.

No. Dude. Yeah, dude. I'm telling you, that's the gradual slide. The way he was describing what it was going to be like, too, was... What was he saying to you? Get me going. What did he say?

He was just talking about his sex life with his girl. And it was like... I think this guy was trying to fuck you. No. He was trying to swing. Bring in the old turd. Drop a turd in the bunch. So what was the guy telling you?

What was the guy telling you? Look at Chris trying to defend his friend, dude. Chris is afraid to speak on the record. Well, I feel bad. I don't know how much I want to disclose about this unnamed person's life. There's nothing to disclose. We're not saying anything about him or anything. It's just a funny story.

It's a funny fictional story. There's something to get him through this time, dude. What? What was he telling you that got you fired up? What you thought the party was going to be like? Oh, he was just saying like... Yeah, when he was getting you hard, what was he saying? Yeah.

Yeah, he was. He was talking... Well, he was talking about just like his girl's always trying to like blow him and stuff like that. And like even when he's like soft, she like works really hard to like get him hard. It was like great. You know, that's exciting stuff. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm... you know, yeah, what are you making this?

Keep going and then and then he was talking about like the other girls that would be there and how hot they were and fucking Yeah, it was great. What else what do you say? How'd go into it because you're glossing over it and I know you guys are getting drunk and he was like yo She fucking sucks my flaccid dick all the time and you're like fuck yeah dude yeah yeah what's up with this party that's exciting you were sitting there crafting an evite to the stripper party

yeah that's what's up dude was it just the two of you he's like yes yeah at some point yeah it was and she was like

she sucks me soft yeah yeah and you're like fuck she was like yeah man she was like yeah

they were just like talking about they're like they do threesomes they're like on tinder together and they like do threesomes. Not with dudes. Two chicks.

That's what's up. I mean, dude. That's getting me fired up. I don't know if I honestly don't know if I could handle that. I mean, obviously it would be fantastic, but I just, it's just a day of nervousness leading up to it and being like. Yeah. It's a lot of, it's a lot of pressure.

No, it's like, it's a lot of pressureness of what it's a lot of pressure no it's like it's a lot of pressure it's a lot of pressure a threesome yeah it's a lot of pressure and like you're trying to read you know I don't know

also I'm gonna come immediately yeah I'm going to come immediately like I know this yeah yeah I think you gotta it's a

yeah yeah so it's gonna build up to this like thing and I'm just gonna be like you gotta plan you gotta plan for two two loads two sessions yeah the first one's just gonna be super quick and then well gather yourself back together here's the question this is you're a pervert this

this is what i want to know how long has this obsession been? What? Sex. Me? Yeah. Typically, when people... It's only recently. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I never noticed it in him until this year, when he started procuring.

I never noticed it. That was, yeah, but that was like a couple months. I think he's in a dark spot. Typically, there's a void. Using sex as a crutch right now. With sex addiction, there's usually a void, a lack of feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Total lack of feeling, and sex is the only tangible feeling route.

I'm not shaming you. I did the same thing myself. I was in a sexless marriage, and I was bad. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's like this. How do you think you would have responded to the stripper party during that? Oh, dude, I would have been fucking... Like, I would have been thinking about it still.

Dude, I'm telling you, man. I was the dog of dogs, dude. So I'm not judging anyone. No. I'm saying when you follow that path, dude, when your dick's your compass, dude, it leads you to bad areas, bad situations that can somehow cement around you and become your life. Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely worried about it turning into a thing. But, like, I don't know.

I haven't done, I haven't procured in a long time. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, so I'm off that. That was like a little. It's a Jones that can be overcome. Well, it's a weird thing because, like you said like you said you like dip your toes in that world and then like it feels like a lot like getting head no it's just it's it's it's good yeah well it's not like uh it's so much easier than you'd than i thought it was it's it felt like buying weed in like high school or something

exciting there's an adrenaline rush. Yeah, yeah. But it's also, you're like, oh, kind of everyone. There's a lot of this going around. Yeah, but then you go in. It's not as difficult to find as I thought it would be. Then you go on stage, and you're like, how many of you guys get hookers? Literally no one in the room. Yeah, yeah.

Nobody admits to it. You're the only guy out there. Nobody admits to it. Bro, I've come in from someone who's tried hooker jokes on people. Of course. It's just like dudes being like, bro, fuck, shut the fuck up. The crowd just looks at you like, stop. Old men will laugh.

Old dudes will kind of giggle. But I've done like, we all pretty much get hooker stuff at crowds. And dude, guys are just just like shut the fuck up because then it's that question like you're like no no babe what come on i'm not gross i wonder what the numbers actually i wonder how many like like i wonder how many like people jamie find that out yeah yeah like what are the what are the real Because I don't feel like that many people have gotten hookers before. I don't think so. I think it's... Yeah.

I really don't. Hmm. Let's see. Percentage of men who have admitted paying for sex at least once. The Johns chart. You guys don't got to call it that. That's fucked up. Damn.

Cambodia. All right. You guys got to guess. Cambodia has got to be flying. Cambodia has got to be up in the 60%. Yeah. 80, bro. All right, you guys got to guess. Cambodia has got to be flying. Cambodia has got to be up in the 60%. I'm guessing, yeah. 80, bro. Highest.

Whoa. Yeah, so you're right. It's low estimates, 59%. High estimates, 80%. That's pretty good. What about the United Kingdom? I think they're cool. In Europe, they're pretty chill.

I would say 40. 47%. Oh, really? 7% to 8%. What? What about the United States? Same. 12%? 15%?

Good guess, O'Connor. What do you think Italy is? I think that's jumping up again. 30%? It's 16% to 45%. I bet Germany and Amsterdam have got to be pretty high, right? Netherlands are pretty low. I don't see.

Yeah, I don't see that on here. I see Norway, Finland, Sweden. They're pretty low. Thailand is doing pretty good. Thailand only has a high estimate. There is no low estimate. It's 75%. 75%?

There's no way it could be 75%. In Thailand? If it's totally socially acceptable, it's like there's no way it could be 75% in Thailand but like people it's like if it's like totally socially acceptable it's like

yeah sure exactly it's like buying cigarettes true yeah but I'm trying to think

of like other like I feel like no even if you don't do it you did it once it does like anything at that rate except for like

eat food food 80% of people like pretty similar yeah I guess you're right it's a pretty deep rooted that's a it's just for like eat food. Food. 80% of people are like pretty similar. Yeah, I guess you're right. It's a pretty deep rooted.

That's a lot. It's just everyone's doing it. Like, yeah, except for the 15% who are just hookers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. That's dude. That's pretty tight.

All right. So that was our weekend. Just. Yeah. D.U.I. is hot. It was a weekend. Just DUIs. Hot 18 year olds. It was a lot of bad. I feel bad.

Moment of silence for the bro dude who suffered a DUI. First of many, I'm sure. Good luck, Scott. Yeah, if you come to the show, don't drink and drive. Just, yeah, don't ruin the stripper party. I will say this. This is probably my highlight. Last night.

Because I got off stage stage i didn't know chris was drunk and when i got off stage we went to the the manager's office to get paid yeah and he just fucks around with you and he like handed chris the check and before he handed it to him he's like i say this to everybody i'm not fucking with do you think you deserve this check and i just heard okani like while reaching for like no Like, no. I was like, Jesus Christ. Get out of this office. And he picked up an acoustic guitar that was in the office. Started strumming it.

I was like, put that the fuck down. You were playing guitar? No. I didn't play any notes. Then I walked past the green room. He was just slumped on the couch. I was like, dude, what happened? He was like, I don't know, man.

I was like, oh, no, O'Connor. It's so funny. Sorry, bud. Yeah, that was rough. But then you stopped drinking right there. Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah, well, at that point, I was, like, packing shit up.

I was, like, packing cameras up and stuff like that. Man. And then, yeah. That's tough, man. That's tough. That's rugged. It's fun. It's rugged living. It's hard living. It is hard living, but it's funny. Yeah, yeah. It's tough, man. That's tough. That's rugged. It's fun.

It's rugged living. It's hard living. It is hard living, but it's fun. Yeah, yeah. It's fun to watch. Yeah. No, it is. It is fun to watch. It's just, fuck, man.

I guess everyone gets affected differently by alcohol. The fucking hangovers I get are just excruciating. Yeah. Excruciating. I could totally do that. But it's so fun when you're drunk. Yeah. I was just thinking about if that guy had made it back to the strip club and was drunk and walked in and was like,

Woo! Still winning, still crushing it. We were so close. That would have been so much fun. That would have been fucking weird, dude. If we would have got there. I didn't know she was 18. If I got there and I saw that she was 18, I'd be like, what is this?

This is crazy, dude. That would have been weird. You would have chilled with the staff? I would have trumped out. I would have found the staff. I would have chilled with the staff. I would have said, I got to get off this island. Yeah, dude.

That's wild. Wait, is that something that Trump did? Yeah, Trump just, when Trump was with Epstein, he just hung out with the staff. Oh, yeah. He didn't go. He didn't procure it. Wait, what are you guys doing? Hung out with the staff. Oh, yeah. He didn't go. He didn't procure. Wait, what are you guys doing? Hung out with the staff.

Is that what he said? Yeah. No, that's what's true. Yeah, exactly. You guys fuck with, what the fuck's her name? Marianne Wilson. She's running for president. No.

Democratic candidate. She's like a witch. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. There's a witch running? Yeah, dude. Hell yeah. That might be what takes Trump down.

Yeah, she was getting some heat early on. Yeah, she's like a... She basically... She's like believes in all the shit I talk about. It'd be funny if she like... Like he was dumb enough to believe in it. Hex him? She was like, I will hex you.

He's like, don't. Do not. Don't you hex me. What do you see? He's beefing with Pelosi right now. That video he put out is so funny. Of her son doing like international dealings? No, the video. He put out a video on now. That video he put out is so funny. Of her son doing international dealings? No, the video.

He put out a video on Instagram. That was like a tourist video for San Francisco. It was like, come enjoy the sights of San Francisco. And it's just a montage of homeless people screaming at the camera like, fuck yeah! Like all that. With the caption of, Nancy needs to fix her piece of shit city. That is tight. He just holds people to big metropolitan areas and being like, what's up?

Yeah, fix that before you talk shit. You guys fucking suck. It's still America, bro. You're the president. It's funny because he, so he was a reality TV star. Now he's a president being like, oh yeah, what? You're the mayor of like wherever. You have crime, dude.

What's up with that? Fix that crime. Fix crime. Why you got crime there? What do you guys got, jail and stuff? Because he has no track record for people to fucking slam him on. Yeah. So he can just come out and be like, yeah, that city's fucked up, dude.

Like, that's your fault. It's like a city of mine would never be this shit. And he loves it. I mean, he loves hitting California. That gets the base fired up. Yeah. Well, it's a base excited. Well, California fucking shits on him.

Yeah, yeah. No, you and all your pals on the left. You Well, it's a basic sighted. Well, California fucking shits on him. Yeah. Yeah. No, you and all your pals on the left. You know, it's fucking weird. So Trump is a reality TV star.

And then he brought undoubtedly the reality TV vibe into U.S. politics. You know, he like just started. He's like, I can just start arguing with people

and like that. People love watching that. And now with like Snapchat, Instagram, like it's slowly like we our lives have kind of slowly become tv take a shit in the middle of a fucking podcast after i drop that gem on you whatever dude he's out of control he's out of control get out of here o'connor's out of control. He's out of control. Get out of here. O'Connor's out of control. I know, man.

This was his intervention. This was supposed to be. He needs some discipline in his life, dude. It's wild. I'm going to take a dump. He's drunk at work. He's dumping. Classic minion, dude.

He's a perfect minion, dude. I love him. I love him. He rules, dude. I'm so glad. He fucking rules. Dude, you would have loved watching him this weekend. Oh, my God.

Just buzzing. He got shit-faced. Like, well, what happens is you get the adrenaline of the show. Sure. So, like, you feel bad all day. You feel hungover. Yeah, that'd be true. And you hit the show.

All the adrenaline gets rid of your hangover. And you're like, holy fuck, this is so fun. Everybody's like, hey, come do a shot. Let's drink. It's true. You're so funny. True. It's just party time instantly. like, hey, come do a shot. Let's drink. It's true. You're so funny. True. It's just party time instantly.

No, that makes sense because it does. And it's funny because I always talk to him during the day. I'm like, just take it easy tonight. And then I'll get off stage and he'll be like, hey. I'm like, no, Chris. It's hard, man. Yeah. Especially that environment itself.

You're nervous all day about having to do stand-up. You're like, this is going to suck. I'm going to suck. Then you do stand-up. And most times it's like, did that suck? And then you're like, I'm going to get drunk. No, I had a good Saturday late show, so I was like, whew. You were just fucking, you were gunslinging. You were slinging.

Yeah, I had fun. That's what's up. Oh, dude, I'll tell you what happened. So I was on stage, the early show Saturday, and a guy, like, you know how you can't see the audience yeah a dude walked out like holding on to the back

of the shirt of the lady he was with and she walked him out out of the room and I figured either they were fighting and he was like pulling her or he was hammered

I have a feeling he was neither yeah so I was like what the fuck's wrong with that idiot but I couldn't see all I saw was the shadow of a guy like what the fuck's wrong with that idiot but i couldn't see all i saw was the shadow of a guy like hanging on to a woman sure and then the whole like room didn't

really acknowledge it and i was like am i the only one that saw that like what the fuck's wrong with you guys okay and i just went back and started doing stand-up and then when i saw them come back in oh i got a good look and it turns out he was special needs and right when I saw I was like oh fuck the crowd started yeah I was like I didn't know shut up what the lady say they were upset yeah they were none too pleased yeah dude yeah and then you know I figured that was it I wonder they should set up a penalty for that in comedy. What do you mean? If you're on accident, like clown or retarded dude, they should make him go up and you should give him like 15.

True. I mean, he would have crushed. He would have fucking smashed. It would be so funny. That's the thing, too. You got to be grateful that people who are fully retarded aren't in comedy. They just smash. Slow down. I'm saying they would go up there and smash. They comedy. They just smash. They go up there. Slow down. I'm saying, they would go up there and smash.

They would. They would smash, dude. Undoubtedly. If they decided to, they're like gods in the comedy world. If they decided to bless the stages, it's like, yeah, pack it up, bro. Yeah. No, this is a very inappropriate thing to say, but they are like a fart embodied. Like, no matter where or when it is, it's like, oh, that's great.

Dude, if they got the mic and started talking, I be i would be in stitches dude i would be in stitches but like i felt horrible and then i did the you know you imagine a bunch of my material is about like like a special olympics joke what'd you do while i did it i saw the lady because all i could see was the front of their table which were the women that were like there was a whole table there. Yes. Yeah. And like, I saw her during that joke and she was like, no, she's looking at you like, stop. Fuck. So you ripped the special limps joke.

I stopped it midway. Oh, you bailed on it. Kind of. There was a, there was a, I just stopped at a certain point. I didn't like, it didn't seem like I cut a joke off. I'm still, I'm still stoked on the idea of, like, you know, retarded people realizing their powers, invading comedy, and then all the comics just being like, these goddamn retards came down here and took our job. Taking our nerves and built a wall.

Every day to busters. These goddamn retards came down here and took our job. Yeah, they would. In a heartbeat. Just smashing, smashing dude Maybe not I don't know I could be Did you talk about

The meeting afterwards And then After What I got off stage And I still couldn't See the whole table So then I came back out

When the lights were on In the showroom To check And I was like Oh yeah Whole table It was like a field trip Whole table you're saying

like special olympians they had the bus they had the bus there the boys were there and then after I went and went I went and found the lady because I saw that she was upset and I didn't want to sure you know I like I did genuinely feel bad I didn't mean to like hurt their feelings yeah of course but also how did they like the show though were they laughing she literally yeah they were laughing the whole time until the very end. Also, I was making fun of like Jews and I made fun of everybody. Yeah. And then when I got to their topic, they were like, no.

Yes. You can't do that. Yeah. You can't laugh at the Jews. But yeah, you can. I mean, I literally said there had to be a funniest concentration camp. Jew jokes are gateway jokes to retarded jokes. You kind of lump jokes are they're gateway jokes to retarded jokes you kind of love

them in but like i you know that's the logic behind it it's like you can't you can't get offended when it gets to your thing right if you're laughing at everything else i said the whole time i mean i'm talking about like heroin fucking yeah jesus like all this you know all that you laughed the whole time and then when it got to your subject, you got very upset. And it's like. Well, again, if the squad is laughing still. Squad was rocking and rolling. You were hitting special.

Were you like zeroed in on the squad? I couldn't see the squad. I could see just the silhouette of the squad. One guy was going back and forth. Okay, so he was pumped. Or upset. He was wiggling. Yeah, when you talked to him afterward, did it seem like they were aware of what just happened?

No, the guy was, you know. Bring him in. Bring him in the fold. Well, no, I was hanging out with him and talking to him and stuff. What are you guys talking about? He's a bowling champ. What's up? He's a bowling champ, and he just got a new.

Can we look up the scores? No, shut up. We're not doing that. We're not punching down like that. I'm not doing that. We're not punching down like that. I'm not punching down. Look, I'm just trying to figure out what... I want to see what the stats are. You're trying to supply alcohol to minors

this weekend. You keep to yourself. I never said anything about supplying alcohol. Yeah, what was going to go on at the stripper party, you think? I don't know. I thought we were going to hang out and talk. B-Y-O, just bring your own party. We're both entertainers entertainers oh you just did a fucking dateline we're just gonna talk we're just gonna talk oh dude that was also i got him with the fucking i have a joke about phil being an alcoholic and being like no matter what he has an excuse you'd be like damn you're getting

fucked up again he's like it's football's on yeah we literally got outside he's like i don't it's like damn i feel like shit we didn't do anything. Ah, well, football was on. I was like, oh, man, dude, you are a booze house. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, I ran. I talked to them. So you went and talked to them. You were like...

You can't... I'm not going to sit there and be like, well, if you laughed at the other stuff, fuck you. No, I was just like, I'm sorry. But like, I didn't... And everybody was cool. It was nice. Yeah.

They were like, everything... We laughed at the rest of the show. But just, you know, be mindful of your audience. And I was like, I couldn't... I couldn't see you guys i'm sorry couldn't say i really didn't anticipate this yeah that would uh fucking saturday night comedy show yeah it's tough that happens at least you know that's a nice negotiation though yeah well i literally i felt bad yeah i got off stage i was like fuck that sucks i didn't mean to fucking well if you should ask you should have asked her be like what you should have asked her that whole topic is totally off the table

because I would be burned if I'm chilling there and I'm with my kids if I'm with a group of kids who have down syndrome and some dude just starts I don't know dude it would be tough because part of it you'd be like yeah

well I don't know you should start an earmuffs policy be like hey if you were retarded earmuffs if like or i don't think it's them i think it's the parents yeah they didn't give a fuck it's got to be a constant like insecurity you're walking around and like these mother because dude i that would be on site are they are these people going to be pieces of shit and make fun of my kids kind of yeah like it. For me, I know as much as I like a good yuck about everything, if my kids have Down syndrome, it's on sight. If someone starts making fun of it, I'm fighting you. You made fun of it.

I don't give a fuck. It's not funny. And I'll instantly. So I get both sides. No, and I understood their side perfectly. Oh, I'd fight you. It would be instant. I'd rush the stage.

You'd rush the stage? Yeah, dude. I'd rush the instant. I'd rush the stage. Yeah. You'd rush the stage? Yeah, dude. I'd rush the stage. Create a scene? I'd rush the stage with my legion behind me. Tear it up, dude. You could just have

like a staff and point it forward and they would just swarm around you. I would basically just start fights and people would be like, dude, he was laughing

at my retarded son. True. You say it that way. I'd be fucking people. He's laughing at my retarded son. He'd point at my retarded son and laugh. You say it that way. I mean, fucking people, he's laughing at my retarded son. He pointed at my retarded son and laughed. You gotta stop saying that word so much, man. What?

I told you. It's on until I have a retarded son and I'm gonna be like, fuck! Yeah. I would love them, though. I would honestly.

Yeah. But it's gotta, again, it's gotta be a sore spot. I get that. For sure. Get that. You're like, you think this shit's a fucking game, bro? You just instantly turn into DMX, dude. You think this shit's a fucking game? I know. And it's got, again, it's got to be a sore spot. I get that. For sure. Get that. You're like, you think this shit's a fucking game, bro?

You just instantly turn into DMX. You think this shit's a fucking game? I know. And it's, you know, it is really because that's a tough life for the parent. Yeah. Instantly, that becomes your entire existence. Yeah. And then you're like, all right, nice.

This will be a fun comedy show. Some dickheads up there making fun of the Special Olympics. I mean, they probably are like, they probably genuinely in their life run into people who are like actual dickheads. I don't know. That's gotta be pretty rare.

I don't know, man. Well, I think you run into kids. Exactly. That's what you run into is young, like teenagers or young kids that see,

you know, see somebody that's mentally handicapped and you're just instantly like, fucking dude. Yeah. I feel like that's dying out. Poor, poor idiots. I feel like that's dying out though. We're poor idiots.

With little kids, that's dying out. It's a problem. They probably do see it in the kids the most and they're like, don't worry, when you grow up,

there won't be any more adults like that. Let's go to this comedy show. Yeah. It is a funny joke though. Yeah. That joke's more about the concept of starting it rather.

Like you're not doing like, what do they call that? I got into it. What did you get into? There's more to it. about how they they love tits okay stuff like that do love that's true they love tits if you had if you were to be like hold up hit him with the mic they'd be like yeah yeah what do you guys think of tits love them yeah it is yeah it is weird man it's uh yeah so that was that was my goobs. Good weekend. I wonder, too, how, like, because it's a fine line.

The intelligence stuff is a fine line of making fun of it. If someone just bones up, you can make fun of them, but there's a cutoff. There's an IQ cutoff where it's like, yo, bro, that's off limits. Fuck you, dude. Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's kind of wretched to think about. You come into this world, and it's kind of wretched to think about you're born you come into this world and it's just like by some genetic thing you're just kind of like i just wonder i want to know what

the level of consciousness is it's pretty i mean i i know people people with people with down syndrome can be like relatively intelligent yeah yeah like it's not like that yeah they're like aware of their situation and they hate it That's what I want to know. Is it like that, or is it kind of more just like... Yeah, no, there's a... Every day is Mardi Gras. There's, like, a documentary about... I think there's a point you can dip deep enough where every day is Mardi Gras.

I guess it's just a path. It's probably... They probably are, like, a very binary good and evil path. The Sith? The Jedi? I don't know. I love I don't know I love everybody dude I love everybody you're trying to

fucking draw a circle keep me out I'm gonna draw a bigger circle and include you dude that's how I am that's why I love you man it's for everybody Chris you hear stuff like that

that's the type of stuff I need I know yeah you don't feel like you're getting that out of me I need a companion that says stuff like that brightens you up

it's not just some dark cloud in the hotel room every day. It's a dark cloud. I was this close to a stripper party in your honor. You were a smear on our record. He would have been Prince Andrew, dude, in fucking 40 years. Chris is Prince Andrew.

He's coming from Connecticut. He's like, Father, I may have ran into some, you know. I let the sides down. Uncouth fellows at the bar in Timonium, and they led me to a party. I didn't know. She was 17. That's going to be me when you get in trouble for the special. We were like, yeah, I mean, my biggest problem is after I found out.

I still hung out with them. I mean, dude, if you think about it, I'm not going to say this guy's DUI was good for you. It was. But in a way, where there's 18-year-old strippers, there also might be wayward 17-year-olds who want to be strippers and hang out with their older cousin. You just got to avoid that type of party all together. Yeah, dude. That's a bad part. I've never been to a party like that.

I've never been to a party like that either. I've never been to a party like that either. I've never been to a party like that either. You should just not hang out with 18-year-olds in a sexual way. You should not hang out with 18-year-olds. Well, there's no guarantee that the other people there would be 18. His girlfriend was 18. I mean, the best case scenario is that you're hanging out with 32-year-old strippers, which is a whole other nightmare you want to avoid.

No. Safe, yes, but... Best case is 19. Not a fun party. Best case is 19. Best case is 19. Yeah. Yeah. 20... Either way, that's a nightmare of a party. case is Best case is 19 Yeah Yeah

24 Either way That's a nightmare of a party It is dude That would suck It is You gotta ask yourself dude What else would you want to hang out

What else would you like to do with them You know what It's It's like Yeah I feel like Yeah For the most part

That's That's what winds up Like happening What if this Is this helping your hangover right now Just Unpacking all this stuff What if the stripper party Lasted for 6 months Yeah, for the most part, that's what winds up happening. Is this helping your hangover right now? Just unpacking all this stuff? What if the stripper party lasted for six months?

No, no, no. That'd be awesome. That sounds great. That sounds kind of cool. I think terrorists are killing themselves for that exact scenario. The stripper party? Yeah, the ultimate stripper party. Allah gets a DUI on the way. Sorry.

Oh, my God. Dude, I just got some very juicy information about Yahweh. Whoa. Yeah, dude. Part of the Orion group, evil entity. Basically tricked mankind for thousands of years. Sorry, guys. Wait, Yahweh?

Yahweh. You got to fill me in on... Yahweh, dude. The fucking... The guy you fucking disobey constantly. Yeah. Why'd you say it was such a hard job what do you mean the jew god no i didn't know it was the jew god dude slow down that's the jew god is yahweh yeah it was it was apparently it was elohim it was elohim at first and obviously

adonai and yahweh was this later thing that popped in the bible that because they called it two different things now nowhere it was yahweh and if you look at the old like the old testaments like yahweh's rules kind of sucked like it just he was a fucking dickhead that's what everyone always talks about the old testament new testament guy like yahweh was a fucking dick and he's part of the orion group the orion yeah the orion group people who choose the path of self and then skip into the fourth density but you have to be you have to don't worry you have to be 95 percent polarized towards self-service which neither of you guys aren't even anywhere close to that historical figures you're talking gangas con rasputin did you say the fourth density

yeah dude yeah obviously the fourth density well rocks the first like the rock yeah the rock like rock by like material like and stuff is first density. Okay. Once an animal can move about and, like, look around, that's a second density. Once an animal becomes self-conscious, that's a third density. And then once an animal... Third density is easily the hardest density. But once you choose...

And the whole point of the third density is to choose between service to self and service of others. And then if you choose service... Both of them, you do go to the fourth density. But it's very much... It's a lot harder if you do service to self to service of others. And then if you choose service, both of them you do go to the fourth density. But it's very much, it's a lot harder if you do service to self to go to the fourth density. And then you join a social memory complex, but you don't go with it. But they're talking about how Yahweh was. I'm service. You're service to others, dude.

I saw Chris when Chris was down and down and out today. I started pepping him up. You're service to others. And yesterday. I was giving you pep talks. others, dude. I saw Chris when Chris was down and out today. I started pepping him up. You're service to others. And yesterday. I was giving you pep talks. Yeah, yeah. I saw Chris hit rock bottom, and I was like, come on, man. You're doing great.

You're killing this weekend. Well, it just makes sense because if you do service to others, that naturally grows quicker and stronger. If you do service to self, the only way you can do it is just by holding people to your – you have to subdue them. Yeah, I guess I do that. You have to subdue your uh you have to like subdue them yeah i guess i do that you have to subdue some more of that yeah yeah you got it you have to subdue and coerce which again yeah that's and that's what they're saying that's what the ten commandments were more of a thing that were telling it was like an easy thing to set up those kind of like structures guided by fucking Yahweh.

And then Jesus Christ was the seventh density person who asked to go back down to the third density. He was like, I'm going to fix this shit. Because the Bible's basically two totally separate gods in one. Doing two totally different things. Yeah. This one's a jealous cunt. Yes.

Who's kind of boys with the devil. In the early Bible, God's boys with the devil. Yeah, they're like gambling. Well, yeah. Betting on Job. Betting on fucking Job, yeah. Yeah, they're having fun together. Christ was the answer to Job.

That's the whole... What do they bet on Job? They're like, I bet you I can make him turn on you. Yeah, they're like... And God was like, no way. And then they just fucked his life up forever. Yeah, dude. Gave him a DUI, canceled his stripper party.

DUI, canceled his stripper party. As soon as the stripper party got canceled, finally Job was like, you know what? Fuck this shit. Well, do you know what happened at the end of Job? Doesn't God come down and be like, thanks? Like, no, we were just fucking around. No. When he found out, it was a bet.

So what happens is, from what I read, he's just like, what? And he's just like, all right, dude, fucking whatever. I'm still not squelching on you. But then he catches a glimpse of God and sees that God's this weird, unconscious being. And he's just like, all right, dude, fucking whatever. I'm still not squelching on you. But then he like catches a glimpse of God and sees that God's just like weird, unconscious being. And it's like, Oh, fuck.

Shit. And then, and then the Old Testament, God's unconscious. I think that doesn't the devil talk to Job and is like, come on, man, do it.

Like he's fucking with you so much. Like Job's whole family is together in like a house collapses and kills them all. Like, yeah. And then he gets sores on together and like, a house collapses and kills them all. Like, yeah, And then he gets sores on his body. Yeah. Everything horrible

happens to this dude. And then he's like, he's like, God, what gives? And then God's like, what the fuck is your problem?

What the fuck do you mean? I gave you everything, you piece of shit. He's like, that's when he just goes, all right, dude, fucking fine.

Just asking. And I think that, that's a turning point in the Bible when they're like, yeah, fucking fine, just asking. And I think that's a turning point in the Bible when they're like, yeah. Yeah, we gotta stop writing this. We gotta sell something else.

But yeah, they say that was... Imagine the dudes writing that. That was... It's just writing a story. Yeah. What happens? What do I think happens next? You know?

Yeah, dude. Or where the... What the fuck are they basing that? And what were they trying to convey to be like, yeah, dude, well, the devil's making a bet with God. It's fucking crazy.

Yeah, it's just a story. Dude, I was watching a Wes Watson video. It was so fucking funny. He was talking about being segregated and isolation. He's like, dude, I read the Bible three times back to front. And he's like, dude, a lot of people are going to get mad at me for saying this. But I think the point of the Bible is, at least I used to think this back then, it's just something you read that confuses you so much that you just forget about all your problems.

He's like, that's how fucked up I was at the time. I thought, yeah, I'm just fucking confusing myself so I don't think about this shit. That's nice. That's a good reference. Probably, yeah, I feel like that's not too far from the truth. I mean, that whole story with Job is like, no matter how shitty your life gets, you should still believe in God. Because it's just the devil trying to fuck with you. But, yeah,

but if you're a serious biblical scholar slash, you know, person like me, they were saying the whole meaning of that was like, that was humanity realizing that the God they were serving was largely unconscious, and then it was like, it had to kind of evolve, like, thousands of years into a more forgiving person

who was like, no, no, I care about. So it's almost like they had to change the product a little bit. To be like, no, no, no, no, no. He's here. God's here now. He cares about you. Right, right, right. He cares about you.

But there is still that thing where, like, because in the Job story, God starts yelling at him. Like, look at all this shit. Oh, dude. Thunderbolts and lightning. Like, fuck you, dude. Very, very frightening. Yeah, dude. Sends thunder down. He's like, all right, at him, like, look at all this shit. Oh, dude, thunderbolts and lightning, like, fuck you, dude. Very frightening. Yeah, dude, sends thunder down. He's like, alright, alright, my bad.

I know you can fucking win. I know you can beat me. Chill. Yeah. He's like, alright then. Yeah, I proved my point. God is female. The Old Testament. Oh, that's a broad. Yeah, it's a social memory complex in the Orion group, of course. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, Orion group's hellbent. What's a social memory complex from the ryan group of course yeah obviously yeah ryan group's social memory complex hold your hand through everything social memory so i feel like you're a mind body spirit complex

i would say you know yeah you're a mind body spirit complex is that an insult no that's everybody mind body spirit complex and then on the third density you choose between service to self service to others and then once you choose service to others there's no everyone starts to mind meld which is weirdly happening on the internet to where like the consciousness kind of melds into one and that would be a social memory complex so after where everyone gets from the fourth to the fifth no third to the fourth and fourth to the fifth this is just like an agreed upon reality sort of thing yeah once you shed your chemical body you would just become the light matter that you were before and then you would form a social memory complex duh which makes sense if we somehow merge with technology we most likely would exist on like a photon level and we would

become like a social memory complex stored somewhere hmm Hmm. I guess aren't we sort of already that? That's what the internet started. It's the painful process of us kind of total mind merging. There's not going to be

secrets in fucking 50 years. What's the difference between the way like a brain functions or a computer functions? It's a computer. A brain's not binary though.

I'm sorry, but yeah, but a brain's not binary. If you're talking analog computation then I'm your man. Isn't a brain sort of... Shut up. Isn't a brain sort of binary in the same way?

Isn't it just like stimulus or no stimulus? Yeah, I could see that. No, I hear what you're saying. But apparently the brain, like they map brains out and they look very similar to like galaxy matter. I mean, you're getting into microcosm, macrocosm. You know guys don't want that. What's your problem?

It's the Orion Group's channeling you right now. Go ahead. Those negative thoughts you're having, that's negative. I have no negative thoughts. That's the Orion Group channeling. They take any moment of weakness. Dude, every morning when I, like, think to pull my phone out and look at it in bed, I literally am like,

get off me, demon. I pop out of my bed and go. I do service to others right away. You're very humble about it. Yeah, I'm just teaching the law of one, dude. He's very humble about it. Shane's coming after you.

Shane's coming after you because he knows you're about to crack the code. The Orion group's on its they'll find where they get it. His back's against the wall. I'm all for service. I'm all for service. Adonay. Adonay. Adonay.

Bless me. Keep it to yourself. Adonay. Rah. Rah. Rah. I'm channeling right now. Adonay.

If you're using service, be humble. Be humble about it. Don't brag about it on a podcast. Sorry, dude. That was Rah. Adonay. Protect me. That was raw. I didn't. Protect me. That was close.

Raw just came into me. I'm sorry. Oh, dude. There's nothing I can do. It might have been Yahweh, dude. Is that Amun-Ra? Shut up, Chris. Shut the fuck up.

I don't have the fuckest fucking clue what you guys are talking about. Osiris. If you're talking Egyptian sun god, then yeah. I'm on Ra. I'm on Ra. Egyptian sun god. Because the Egyptians were set up. Their society was ready for the law of one.

Ours is a lot of distortions going on. How can we do it so much better than the Egyptians did? Define better. I don't know. Stripper parties. Potential stripper parties? I bet they had stripper parties. Yeah, probably.

Oh, no doubt. No doubt. My bad. Hell yeah. So what else is going on? No, I like it. No, dude, don't worry. Anytime I have a negative thought, dude, I just think about the Orion group.

I'm like, it's on site. If I even perceive the Orion group, dude. It's on site for sure. That's the Dark Goblin. That's what I meant to talk about. The I even perceive the Orion group. Dude. It's on sight for sure. That's the dark goblin. That's what I meant to talk about. The dark goblin has been named. That's the dark goblin. I named the dark goblin.

He shall be vanished. You read his name out loud. Yep. Dark goblin was vanished for me this weekend. Good weekend. The goblin didn't appear. So the goblin tends to disappear around times of merriment. And then as soon as the merriment goes away, it fucking pops in the corner.

You're like, ah, ghastly figure, be gone. Yeah. But you have to just fucking give it perfect. You have to look at it and be like, I know this is not, you have nothing against me. I stared down the goblin. Well, yeah, dark, dark dementia. So if you're negatively polarized,

you put so much strength into being, what is it, polarized towards service to the self. It's really hard to do that. So if you're confronted anyway with positive energy, you're like, ah, and you have to get away from it the self, it's really hard to do that. So if you're confronted in any way with positive energy, you're like, ah, and you have to get away from it. So that's all you've got to do. And the Dark Goblin is also part of the Orion group? You have met him.

The Dark Goblin was... Me and Shane summoned the Dark Goblin. The Dark Goblin was, basically it was stand-up. You'd have a bad set, and the Dark Goblin would come visit you. You'd be laying in bed at night at just rough times. Basically with stand-up, you'd have a bad set, and the dark goblin would come visit you. You'd be laying in bed at night at just rough times. Every time I smoked weed, the goblin would just jump in bed with me. That's the dark goblin.

And you just, 3 o'clock in the morning, you wake up, and you just take an honest assessment of your life, and you're like, make it stop, make it stop. That's the goblin, dude. And then he retreats. Sometimes you can keep him at bay and have a good time and be happy. The goblin will come back. Oh, yeah.

He's present. He'll fuck your shit up. He's always present. It's good to have around every once in a while. The goblin was at bay for me for a year, and then the goblin reared his head in the darkest way possible. Just butt-fucked me. True. Popped up.

Goblin came back. That clip you posted was so fucking funny. Hey, check this guy out. Let's butt-fuck you posted was so fucking funny hey check this guy out let's butt fuck everyone look at this guy get the fuck out of here you loser that was so funny yeah for real they tried to be like hey what do you think of this guy and everyone was like banish him i will say though um don't even the goblin is the most... That's the journey of life. It's the most important thing in life, is to confront the goblin.

I see you for what you are. Exactly. And even recognizing the goblin will either... Even the goblin will eventually have to choose the path of light. Because you can only get so far in service of self before... You get to, like, the fifth density, and then it's like you have no choice.

Do you want to get to the sixth? And when you die, the goblin dies. So don't worry. goblin's gonna die with you he's out there you're a goblin who me my goblin will die when i die there's there's so many that's no way what are you talking about you're talking about your individual goblins the interdimensional no the interdimensional entity dude they're here before you. When I die, I'm gone. The goblin's gone with me. Peace. All my problems are gone. Goblin's gone.

Turd's gone. No. It depends how familiar other people are with your goblin, I think. What'd you say now? Well, it's like, you know, if Shane describes his dark goblin to me or to someone like then

you carry that goblin with you true they are very shareable they're very shareable yeah you know like what what would they what would they be anxious about i can read shane's face he has a negative thought he goes it's everything i've said all weekend nuh uh I supported you in your darkest hour you did you helped me out that's all sad O'Connor

there's nothing worse than a sad O'Connor it's tough to look at especially in the realm of stand up if you're just anywhere else and you're having a shitty time stand up is just the worst when you're having a tough time just the way it's structured it's like you're a piece of shit until you're like mega famous successful yeah and that's just it yeah and the way everybody treats you everybody just everybody like people from your hometown are like oh you're still doing it yep it's like yeah well look it's a 360 slam because

yeah it's the people from the hometown that are like what are you doing and then there's the other people higher up not all the time but a lot of them who tend to just be like hold you at bay be like

credits and it's like shut the fuck up yeah yeah yeah I hated that dude the credits the credits bothered the fuck out of me

that killed me man when I was sitting in a room and then you see people who have just like and I'm not talking shit but there'd be comedians who are like fucking 45 years old between like oh yeah that's my agent too fucking trackman would do that yeah

that's my agent too and it's like dude give it up bro yeah give it the fuck up you're making 100 g's a year doing your bullshit you've done from 1988 be happy you're not in a fucking garage dude just be like yeah this is what i'm doing i. But it's like, it's the only job that you can make a hundred grand a year and be fucking miserable. Yeah. Dude, the hierarchy in standup is very weird. Like the people's commitment to it. Oh yeah.

Like, I don't know. There's, if you're bad, you need to maintain that wall. Totally. If you suck, you need to push whoever's around you down. You need to be like, open mic-er, fucking piece of shit. Like you need to like talk in those kind of ways. It's be like, open mic-er, fucking piece of shit. You'd talk in those kind of ways. It's just like, I don't know.

The difference between open mic-ers and people making money is not that big. It's one year. One year of still doing it. Yeah, man. One year of networking away from being an opener.

It's crazy, man. It's all it takes. It's fucking weird. Yeah, and then you can just open long enough that you become a headliner. That's it. Just by default, a club will be like, yeah know i've used you a bunch you want to open a shitty weekend father dad yeah i'll tell you what dude the person who gives me a lot of hope sodies always been the fucking man dude yeah from day one always been the fucking man humble king exactly that's very humble king for real that's why i laid myself on the cross for him via tweet then i felt like a dumb pussy god damn it you're like crucified no cut me down cut

me down yeah this is gay i shouldn't have been a martyr this is stupid i feel gay for trying to do this oh dude i tweeted out like thanks for putting me on this list of top 10 comics but dan soda should be on here take me the fuck off like what did he say well I was talking to him before and you know yeah it was just it's frustrating because no matter what you do or get you're always gonna be frustrated by something you're always gonna be frustrated so then when they come out when Soder had an incredible year in comedy yeah they listed top 10 comedians of the year also no Schultz on that shocking yeah Schultz is in fucking egypt right now like we're dancing on pyramids not the best it's like that's the that's crazy what he did this was just subjective the people putting it together then as soon as i posted that because i love soda and i felt bad that he felt

bad so i was like he let's all take a minute to recognize that he had a crazy fucking hbo special bonfire fucking billion like all that yeah like he's come on and then the i talked to the people in tarot bank people were like hey because they texted me sure what are you doing what are you doing i was like i'm sorry but like i didn't i felt bad and they were like yeah it's more important to be on the top 10 specials which is where we're gonna put him gotcha oh. I was like, oh, my bad. Yeah. My bad. I didn't mean to trash the one publication that defended me, kind of. Well, you didn't trash them. I didn't really, but it was like...

You just fucking knelt on your sword, dude. True. You did the honorable thing, dude. And then as soon as I knelt on my sword, I got one bad tweet, and I was like, fuck, I am gay. What did someone say? Someone was like, this guy folds under any pressure. Fuck him, SNL.

It was just instantly like oh shit that'd be funny if it was just a russian troll who like started following comedy it was like fuck this guy manipulate this guy so easily just one bad tweet will delete it right away i read that tweet i thought it was in jest i read that and started laughing my tweet no the guy who said this guy folds under pressure i thought he was just fucking i thought that was a joke maybe i read that as a laughing. My tweet? No, the guy who said, this guy folds under pressure. I thought he was just fucking, I thought that was a joke. Maybe. I read that as a joke. No, there's a lot of mean boys out there.

That's true. There's some motherfuckers out there. It's mostly mean, I feel like. Yeah, a lot of mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because not many people are going to give it up to you online. That's another thing.

Equally as weird. Nobody gives it up and especially in comedy there's nobody ever like that guy's good rainy you saw i remember rainy rainy doesn't he would always give it up which is husky gave it up this week yeah shout out james husky you gave it up yeah it was nice i posted a clip of stand-up which i don't know i don't know why i haven't been doing that yeah really just really. Just the dark goblin, dude. True. Starting to put out a clip and then just the goblin would whisper.

It'd be like, this is gay. You're gay for this. Yeah. I'd be like, you're right. I'm sorry. You've been listening to them. Delete it. Damn.

Yeah. Because so much of your stand-up could be clipped up and stuff that's not necessarily like material that you could be putting out so much footage. But also, I can just burn material. It doesn't matter. Either way. I'm doing it. People come see me that have seen me twice

in the last three years, and it's a lot of the same. You know. Do the spesh, dude. Louie out. True. Louie out. Start from scratch.

I was thinking about that. That's got to be fucking tough when you're really dependent on the money to be like, what the fuck am I going to do? What, do I got to cancel dates for like fucking seven months? No, dude.

He would just, you know, go to clubs, do like five to ten at a time. Right. Keep building it. But he's still headlining though. Yeah. I don't think so. I think he would like, I think after.

Yeah, because there's also a little bit of time, right? It's like you shoot the special and then you have a couple months. Yeah, you have several months. Where you can like. Three months. Ah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But in three months, I'll come up with one fucking bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's good. You know. Start microdo, got you, got you. But in three months, I'll come up with one fucking bit that's good. Start microdosing. No. You should. I would microdose. Yeah, I don't care. Just try it out. I like shrooms.

I know. That's what I'm saying. Take a little bit every couple days. You'd be surprised. I'll get the juices flowing. True. The juices are flowing right now. I feel good.

I can tell. I can tell. You had a good weekend. That's the thing, too. I think Burr talks about this, about how he thought that in order to be a good comic, you had to be dark and twisted and have a horrible life. And it's like, no. It's like when you want to do creative endeavors, being happy lends itself to more creative endeavors.

Yeah, yeah. You're just kind of like, this sucks. It's like you don't get anything done ever. Yeah, it doesn't have to be a dark shit. Just living a life is important. Yeah, exactly. You're just kind of like, this sucks. It's like you don't get anything done ever. Yeah, it doesn't have to be a dark shit. Just living a life is important. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to be a dark shit.

Just doesn't have to be. Yeah, it doesn't have to be stripper parties. Doesn't have to be stripper parties, Chris. I mean, dude, I'm not going to lie, Connor. That's a fucking tempting party. I can sit on my high horse and be like, well, I wouldn't do that. I mean, I was condemning you the entire time. But when you came back to the room and were like, just arrange it. that i mean i was condemning you the entire time but when you

came back to the room and we're like just arranged it i was like what are the details give me the details you're like no i was like tell me turd yeah i'm like oh dude when you you woke me up this morning i was furious dude what i woke up like mad at him and he kept me i was awake what i just so funny because i i knocked on the door and it must have been like right after the housekeeping just knocked on the door or something too and i was out of his sleep so i was like what who is this the way you were talking to someone you thought might be it was lady. It was insane. No, it was like the third time someone knocked. You were like, what? What are you doing?

It was like 8 a.m. You're giving them attitude? It was fucking 8 a.m. and someone had knocked twice. No, it was 8 o'clock. It was about 8.30. I saw. I was awake for like three hours. It was 9.30.

He bashes the staff? Chris, I couldn't be more certain. It was like 8.30. I know. I Chris, I couldn't be more certain. It was like 830. I know. I can show you the Uber time. Show me the Uber. Bring up the Ubes. So you're saying Shane trashes the fucking staff.

Be gone. I was out of my sleep, dude. I was furious. What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Was it? But it was you, though. It was the turd with a plate of fucking breakfast food.

And he comes in fucking arrogant. Oh, my God. Arrogant. You were. I was like, how are you feeling? Because I was excited to know that he was hungover. I wanted him to be hungover. He's like, I feel fine.

How are you feeling? I was like, I'm fucking perfect, dude. And then I was like mad at him for a second. And then finally I realized I was being crabby. And I was like, I'm fucking perfect, dude. And then I was like mad at him for a second. And then finally I realized I was being crabby. And I was like, I'm pissed, you disgusting pig. Oh, the one I got you on, what I got you upset on was 9.13 a.m. All right, whatever. Still ungodly hour.

Not a good hour. We hadn't woken up before noon. Yeah, got you. 9 you 9 13 i got him hard with i was like i wasn't the one who was slurring my words like a jackass last night i saw his face like oh man that's a good your facial impressions might be i i think like uncanny that was a good o'connor i heard o'connor take serious news and it's's that exact. Yeah, he got very sad. That was like the exact. As soon as he did that, I rolled over. I hit him with a rollover.

I was like, I wasn't slurring my words like a jackass. Flipped over to the other side of the bed. And I knew it hurt, so I was like, I'm pissed, you disgusting pig. Dude, hitting someone with a hard comment and a rollover in bed. And those white sheets of a hotel bed are so fucking funny. Just naked under there. And I farted as loud as I could for the next two hours. Make sure you couldn't sleep.

That didn't wake me. I didn't even hear anything. What are your first thoughts? You chuckled at the first couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are your first thoughts upon waking in the day? Well, for the last couple months it's check the internet because who the fuck knows one dude i'm

telling you once you get scarred hard enough sure you know you would wake up and check the news be like jesus christ fucking kareem abdul-jabbar wrote an article yeah that's bullshit fuck kind of pissed me off honestly every day i would wake up to like a different chunk of news that was like look at this sack of shit. I'm like, oh my god. So then that really fucked me up. So I'll wake up in the morning and look. Google my name and click news.

Magic Johnson on smoke. Thank god. Yeah, yeah. It's like, who this? Fucking Chrissy Teigen? Shut up. Yeah, that is pretty funny. Did she comment on it?

Yeah. But it's like, yeah, every day. I don't even know who that is, dude. I would Google my name and click news. It still happens every once in a while. Every, like, two weeks now, there's some article that I'm included in. Especially now, it's like the end of the year. They're getting it in. Biggest dickheads of 2019.

Yeah, it's hilarious. God damn it. Yeah, fuck. They got me and Spacey. Dude. Yeah. What's up with that? Oh, my God.

Did you see he released another one of those videos? Yeah. Stop. Wait, you didn't see it? I didn't see the second one, no. Right before that person committed suicide? No, I didn't fucking see that. The night before, he released a video where he's sitting by a fire, like poking the fire,

and he's like, you just got to kill him with kindness. Like, real fucking. He did another creepy video? Yeah. He did a creepy video as Frank Underwood. Yeah. Hmm. My wheels are creepy video? Yeah. He did a creepy video as Frank Underwood. Yeah. Hmm. My wheels are spinning now.

Yeah. Oh, bro, you're missing out on a very. I heard the guy died. The dude died. Yeah. But he did a fucking. He did a video the night before. And chances are he knew the news.

I don't know when that guy committed suicide. He might have got the news before the press released. Man, that's unlikely. I don't know, dude. So it's like like so there's a guy who was definitely hanging around he was hanging around pedophiles he's kind of out of his fucking mind yeah most actors are fucking whacked but he like so he was he was it was confirmed I can say he was tied in with like the Clintons and all that stuff way back when right yeah yeah yeah Spacey was boys with the Clintons. Me too'd by a young kid, confirmed.

And now he's... Was it a young kid? Wasn't it like a... He was 17. That's right. It was a stripper party. It was a stripper party. It was a massage party.

No, he was at some bar in Nantucket. But there was a young boy. I was thinking Travolta. No, Travolta. Travolta was at a massage party. Travolta somehow passed untouched. Slid right off. Yeah, he did. Used the oil from the massage.

Just glanced right off of him. Yeah, he's the weirdest famous person because... Your boy Tom Cruise is a weirdo. Yeah, he's a weird... Hanks is weird. Hanks is getting brought down. What? He just got citizenship in Greece.

Wait, why is he getting brought down? He's getting ready to getting brought down. What? He just got citizenship in Greece. Wait, why is he getting brought down? He's getting ready to get brought down. Yeah, he's got dual citizenship. He's trying to not get extradited. He's going to head over to Greece, live out his days. Yeah, sodomy is legal in Greece. Man, boy love. But yeah, Spacey's.

That's a weird one. He put up a video. The night before one of his accusers committed suicide, just being like, I don't have to fight anymore. You just got to kill him with kindness. And just started poking a fire. Yeah, he's like, maybe take the road less trapped. Good book.

The, why, I mean, if you're getting accused of like hanging with pedophiles why are you making creepy videos like that I would come out and be like hey guys on all seriousness I'm not a fucking pedophile rather than being like who does tell me you want me to be the bad guy yeah I do I don't you know I don't know he would like read a poem in Rome like just like

on his like steps somewhere he's like he's wild yeah he read a poem in Rome on steps somewhere. He's wild. Maybe the moral of the story is actors are fucking weird dipshits. For sure. I think that's what it comes down to. There's not a more amorphous bunch in terms of you follow the morality of Hollywood. I would love to set them up to be like, this is what we're doing this year. I'm like, all right, got it.

I'm hitting the Oscar stage right fucking now. I'll give a speech after I get an award whatever the cause is this year yeah i'll cry believing it some dude is playing an autistic guy and comes up be like no we got to fix fucking in all seriousness guys yeah i uh there's you can't convince me dude when i hear like breaking news from actors and actors there's no one more determined and sucking in more attention than i would say actors and i would say it's like actors and actresses podcasters and then it goes down yeah it's so weird like there's like actors endorsing political candidates it's like what who gives a shit yeah yeah that's two worlds you don't want there's two worlds once those

worlds start merging it's like There's comics and rappers Rappers Yeah Endorsing It's like I've listened to your albums Yeah Don't tell me who to vote for

Yeah What the fuck are you talking about? And also it's like You're not Yeah It's one thing if Like a governor or something Endorses

Like They're actually like Mobilizing some Political arm Yeah But it's like Sorry Sorry Chris Chris didn't mean to cut you off no but also to you know cover my ass on the rappers comment

there's also country like Toby Keith is out there like I love this president yeah shut up yeah yeah you see the video of the guy who came out he was like a musician he's like since I came out and supported Donald Trump I lost so many fans but I don't care and he had had that song. He wrote that song. He was like, I voted for a man named Donald J. Trump. Did you hear that song? No. It sounds fucking so stupid.

Dude, it's fucking good. It probably slaps, dude. That sounds good. It fucking slaps, dude. Man named Donald came down on there and changed the world and beat the turd. Nothing you can do to stop him, turd. There's nothing you can do to stop him, turd. Dude, this fucking song

slaps so hard. I made Brittany listen to the whole thing and she was furious. I was like, the chorus is kind of good, though. She was like, shut the fuck up.

Her family does not like Donald J. Trump. Brittany's family? Yeah. They do not like Donald J. Trump. No. Damn, dude. Yeah, the guy was on James Taylor. No. Damn, dude. Yeah, the guy was on The Bachelor.

Okay, yeah. Well, then I trust him. James Taylor. He was on The Bachelor and started it. His name's James Taylor? I think so. It's just hilarious. Yeah, how does he not change that name?

I mean, dude, he was on The Bachelor. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. He's getting into music. He might as well keep that name. You think? Maybe it's James Author? Can't be James Taylor. Well, I mean, that's a pretty common name. It could very well it's James Arthur. Can't be James Taylor.

Well, I mean, that's a pretty common name. It could very well be James. James Arthur's hot as fuck. Let me see him. Right here.

I might stick him. He's hot. I like that. Yeah, he's hot as Looks like a Roman. Yeah. Caligula vibe there. Looks good.

He's got a big thick brow. He's got a big puffy haircut and a nice beard. You would stick him. I would? You'd dip him in there.

I don't think so. You tried to dip it in me. You came home all fucking shit-faced. Every night I was terrified when you were coming home. I'd be back at the hotel just knowing. It's like having a drunk stepdad come home every night. I would curl up and pretend to be asleep. I'd watch him stumble in and be like,

You stayed up to watch me come in shit face you stayed up specifically like i can't wait to see him waddle in here i'm excited to see what this boy got into oh you made plans damn i can't find it these airtight plans that got destroyed that night god I can't believe that James McCoy Taylor that's who it is

James McCoy Taylor yeah he fucking dude his song fucking slaps dude did you hear about Eminem beefing with yeah Nick oh my god

bro I watched fucking Wildin' Out last night yeah I watched like two episodes of Wildin' Out last night. Yeah? I watched, like, two episodes of Wildin' Out. Yeah. That show is insane.

Wildin' Out? Dude, what's going on with it? It was an episode with Gary Owen. Okay. Oh. Gary Owen? Gary Owen was on Wildin' Out,

and it is one of the... Well, the Gary Owen who, like, says the N-word on Instagram idols. Does he say it? Yeah. No.

He says it? I think so. I don't think He says it? I think so. I don't think he says it. I mean, he might be in a bit. He definitely, I... He's definitely like... That was a guy who like ate a weed edible with Joey Diaz and then they said like afterwards like lost his fucking mind.

Am I thinking of someone different? I don't want to slander Gary Owen if it's the wrong guy. No. It sounds like you're thinking... Owen Benjamin. Owen Benjamin. Owen Benjamin. Why'd you agree with me?

Gary Owen's the exact opposite. Gary Owen's a white dude that... I'm thinking of Owen Benjamin. Dude, Owen Benjamin. I'm like, Owen Benjamin was on Wildin' Out? For the freestyle party, just screams the N-word at Nick Cannon? No, it was fucking Gary Owen. And he's wilding out.

Okay. Make some rap, right? Yeah, but I don't think Gary's great at freestyling. Does he rap on it? Yeah, he does. He barely rhymes the word San Diego with Legos. That's what he rhymed with. He's like, I remember you when you were in San Diego.

I got a little secret, Nick. I was dating your mom when you were playing with Legos. Jesus Christ. And it's like, oh, bam, bam, bam, bam. Like, the crowd's like, wildin', wildin'. It's the craziest show. That's weird. It's bad.

It's entertaining. It's good. In truth, though, my agent at the time, they had since dropped me they kept jesse small that no big deal uh i always have to add that but when i was going through all that i i'm pretty sure i don't want to be wrong here but somebody reached out and said you can do while and out they offered me to do why why did you why did you dude watch that show and imagine me in that room. It would be hilarious, dude. I watched a couple episodes of that.

It shows wild. It's wild out. It is, dude. That shows. And they were on like, the one I saw was from season 10. They've been doing wild out forever. Oh, yeah.

How many seasons do they have? By the way, I looked up Nick Cannon's net worth when I realized it was season 10. Yeah, the cannon? He is fucking loaded. The cannon's loaded, dude. I'm on team cannon, dude.

The cannon's on like a quarter billion. Who would have thought the kill shot would come from the fucking cannon, dog? The cannon. Let's go. Because he also hosts. He's like... He does. Yeah, like America's Got Talent or whatever.

He's got fucking drumline. Drumline. Who's the white guy? He's got some hits. Who's the white guy that hosts so much shit? I'm a gigolo. Yeah, gigolo's the shit. Yeah, that song fucking rules. That's wild. He's the white guy that hosts so much shit? I'm a gigolo. Yeah, a gigolo is the shit. Yeah, it's on fucking rules.

That's Wild and Out. He's married to Mariah Carey. Are they still together? No, I think they're separated. Really? Mariah's interesting.

He still sticks up for her. Mariah Carey is married to someone else I think now. Who? I think you got your facts wrong. I think some guy. I think she remarried.

To who? To some dude. Oh facts wrong. I think some guy. I think she remarried. To who? To some dude. Oh, yeah. I think she did. Just like some dude who's just like a businessman. Sick. There we go. What's this?

Gary Owen brings his comedic gems on stage. No, you don't need to shit on this guy right now. I'm not shitting on him. I just want to see what the fuck he's doing. If you don't have faith in him, that's one thing. I thought he was like funny for some reason. Gary Owen?

Yeah, he's funny. He's just, this is just a bad episode of Wild Out. Oh, there we go. Yeah. Well, no, that's just stand up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how he gets away with saying the N word. Wait. How's he do it? Subtitle. I don't know. He's going to tell us.

I don't want to put it as stand up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think Gary Owen is. Damn, he should have went on Wild Out. how's he doing subtitle I don't know he's gonna tell us I don't wanna put his name in the box yeah yeah yeah um yeah I think damn you should've went on Wild N Out you could've been

like a star on Wild N Out on Wild N Out yeah that would've been sick to knock it on SNL and then immediately go Wild N Out so funny

they would've taken you Wild N Out would've taken you even if it went terribly it would be the funniest thing yeah I don't know if I could stay in the pocket though and make fun of it I would like try to get into it and it would be the funniest thing yeah i don't know if i could stay in the pocket though and make fun of it i would have i would like try to get into it and it would be fucking unbelievably bad i hear this

everybody know him they know that he never be flowing but But they do know he got them jokes. And he get love from black and white folks. Yeah, and it's definitely in that order. But I bet y'all didn't know he was a Trump supporter. It's his exact diss on Eminem. He was practicing. I've known you since you was a little kid in San Diego. True. But I got a secret.

I was dating your mom when you was playing with Legos. I saw that line at 3 in the morning last night, and it stuck with me. I memorized it. Hey, yo, I wish I may, and I wish I might have this wish that I wish tonight. No matter where we hang, no matter how we act, you and me, Gary, are not black. It's a weird show.

It's a very strange show. Some hot lady with red hair and camouflage pants. Oh, is that... She's on the Red Squad. She's on the Red Squad? She's on the Red Squad. Is that the Carly something? I'm not sure.

I think so. Oh, no, you're thinking of the hot chick from Rob Dyrdek. No, you're thinking of Aquino or whatever. What's her name? Yeah. Aquilino. Yeah,tv programming is pretty bleak

pretty wild pretty bleak it's wild now it's pretty bad that shows shows pretty bad insane the thing that i was bothered out but not necessarily the people perform but the people in the audience are like yeah hell yeah we are wilding out right now oh yeah like they're acting cool at fucking wilding out a. A Nick Cannon show? Yeah. I mean, dude, the Cannon, again. Cannon's the man. I fucked with the Cannon. I side with Cannon. Cannon crushed Eminem.

Cannon versus Eminem. I side with Jake Flores versus Luis J. Gomez. I side with Jake. I'm on Jake's side, for sure. What's the beef? I don't know. Luis just assaulted a comedian. I don't like it, dude.

Really? That's bad for business. I think we should keep that. I think Luis J. is bad. I think we should keep that in the mix. I support Jake Flores. So, what, he checked him? Yeah, I think Jake was keep that. I think Louis J is bad. I think we should keep that in the mix. I support Jake Flores. So what, he checked him? Yeah, I think Jake was talking a bunch of shit

and then Louis was like, I'll beat the fuck out of you. Jake left and didn't do a set. I think Louis spit on him, which is funny. Yeah, he spit in his eye. That's assault. No, shh, shh, shh. Chill, chill, chill. If you want to be a bitch about it.

And then he ran home and got on Twitter and talked shit. I was about to ask you. He didn't do his set. He left. Did he claim bullied? Yeah, I believe. How old is this dude? I don't know.

I mean, he's definitely over 18. Yeah. Yeah. He's a big boy, too. He's like 6'3 or something like that. Oh, he's a big boy. Yeah. He's a big boy. Big dog. Yeah. He's on site. If I big boy, too. He's like 6'3", or something like that. Oh, he's a big boy. Yeah. He's a big boy.

Big dog. Yeah. He's still on site, though. If I see him, it's on site. What? You're on site with him? Dude, anybody that fucks with fucking... If I see Flores or Gomez, he's already on site with me with Gomez.

I still got to fight Gomez. Gomez will lay you out. Oh, he'd fucking crush me. I don't know, though, dude. Just because he does his jiu-jitsu stuff. I'm in peak conditioning right now, though. I just set a record on the elliptical today, dude. I did 1.72 miles in 15 minutes and one second, dude.

New personal record. Wait, 1.7 miles in 15 minutes? Yeah, don't worry about it, dude. It seems very easy on the elliptical. Yeah, it seems slow. Come on, dude, it's my personal record. It's very bad on the elliptical. That's pretty good, dude.

Personal record. Average speed, like seven... Was it seven miles per hour? Some shit. No, I was doing like seven mile minutes. No, you did one mile an hour. Seven minute miles, yeah. No, it's slower than that.

15 minutes, dude. Well, 1.72. Let's go. Come on. I'm going to beat... That's like a nine meeting's ass right now. Eight and change, right? Dude, my thing says

Personal record So I don't know Maybe I entered it wrong You PR'd Either way I broke My personal record dude Don't worry about it Cardio's not all it could be

Any comic wants to smoke Let me fucking know dude I don't want that Shoulder flies Huh There's a couple That would fuck you up Who wants smoke with me

Comics Yeah who wants it Uh DeStefano might fucking rock you Who's DeStefano Chris DeStefano Is he in shape Or is's DeStefano? Chris DeStefano. Is he in shape or is he just like... No, he's in shape.

He's jacked. He might drop... He might put hands on you. He doesn't have the dog in him, dude. Big Jay would put hands on you. Sodies, dude. Sodies would rock you. Sodies.

I would bend the knee, of course. A lot of these dudes would get gassed. A lot of these dudes would get gassed out on me. Oh, you'd just rope a dope? Yeah, dude. I'd fucking swivel. It's just the jiu-jitsu side. And you're not bad at jiu-jitsu.

I'm pretty good. You might take Lewis. Lewis is very out of shape right now. I could gas him. That's what I'm saying. The thing is, Lewis is very, he gets in shape. We'll go, when we go up, I am going to go do rap. Yeah, you got to come up and do this.

So I'm going to wrestle Lewis when we go up there. It's on site. It's been on site with me and Gomez. We've been beefing for a long time. And it'll get serious, too. Neither of you. For sure. Neither of you will stop the joke.

Both spazzes. That'll be a fun one to watch. It will be fun to watch you guys joke your way into a serious fight. Joking, yeah. Of course this is going to happen, dude. I'm going to film it and film him beating me up and then chop it up where I'm like, I went to do this guy's podcast and he spazzed on me.

Hell yeah. Let's wrap it up. Let's hit it, baby. Let's hit it. Not this week. New Year's will be at the stand in New York. That'll be tight. I think the turd will be turding around.

Yeah, it'll be turding around. What you gonna do? Turd's coming through. How you gonna conduct? I'm gonna keep it light. Let's make a plan. I'm gonna keep it light. Yeah, let's make a plan.

That'd be nice. I'm gonna keep it light. Yeah, you're gonna keep it light on New Year's? Yeah. Yeah, all right. I did last year. I cannot wait to talk about it. No, you drank and drove down to Philly. No, I didn't. I took going to keep it light. You're going to keep it light on New Year's? Yeah. Yeah, all right. I did last year. I cannot wait to talk about it. No, you drank and drove down to Philly.

No, I didn't. I took the train. All right, whatever. You drove the train? I didn't get... Papa? I will be taking the train home. Prepare the station.

The 9th, 10th, and 11th of January, Buffalo helium. 9th, 10th, and 11th, Buffalo helium. I think the turd's rolling with. I think the beezers rolling with. Did you ever see Buffalo 66? No, actually. Yeah, it'll be fun. Did you ever see Buffalo 66, the movie? No. Watch that before you go. It's pretty good. Sick.

This guy recommended a movie. Black 47. Yes. Just watched it. Which is crazy. I watched it before that guy recommended it. It's like exactly about the Thomas Martin thing. Which part 3 will be coming out? 2020. Yes. Just watched it. You just watched it? Which is crazy. I watched it before that guy recommended it. Whoa. It's like exactly about the Thomas Marr thing. Which part three will be coming out? 2020. Word. Part two is a bit of a snooze.

Black 47 is good? Black 47 is good until it does, whoever said it had a Boondock Saints vibe was exactly right. God. Boondock Saints. They just kind of ruin it with the action in it. Yeah. I liked Black 47

until there's a part where he kills like five guards while he's handcuffed. It's like all right you guys. It's like a John Wiggins.

Yeah. But um that's what's up. Sorry. I just iced face out. All right.

Well thanks for listening y'all. Yeah. Let's do it.