Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - The Party Prince

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

We talm bout Shane being at an Eagles game, The damned nature of Revolutions, Being naked in Florida, And then Prince Andrew and Englands bullshit ass political system with rulers and shyt.   If you want the rest of the ep it's on the patreon link is below.  https://www.patreon.com/posts/31750289

What up everybody? Yo. We're motherfucking here. Wow. What's up? Wow, dude. Damn. Fresh off a vacay. Oh, yeah, man. I was a sad boy. I was sad. Yeah, what was going on? Uh, nothing. Just, you know. Just, it's personal. Just kicking around? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just being a sad boy, dude. How long did that last? Uh, until I wasn't hungover. Good God. So, like two days. Criminated. It's it's crazy how's it how's the drinking been not bad not bad what do you so i've been i've been scaling it back although this past weekend it wasn't like i was like blacking out i haven't gotten like hammered in a while i haven't gotten like drunk i've been drinking though you're gonna keel over like one of the mongolian cons dude you're just gonna one day be like just in your toyota corolla off to do a comedy gig you're

gonna just die in the hole everyone's gonna have to like reassemble yeah the who's next in line we're like the mongolians dude chat nation we'd have to all stop what we're doing and reassemble um but i went to the fucking uh sunday is usually a day of rest but i went to the eagles patriots game had a couple brewskis that that's what you're so depressed, dude. That was a tough loss. Well, I didn't care about it. The Eagles just suck. You were bummed about the birds. Their offense just sucks.

They have no weapons. Defense was all right. Wentz is good. Everybody's hating on Wentz. He's actually a good quarterback. But, man, we went to the fucking Xfinity Center before the game. That might be the worst place on earth. Were you tailgating or just the Xfinity Center itself?

Have you ever been in there? No, I've, it is, it is hell. And it, it was at capacity. Like you couldn't move.

You couldn't, it took me like a half hour to walk through the building and it's not that big. People relive in their Superbowl. It was nightmares. And then I got into the game and I was just like, I was very, you know, disenchanted by the whole, I was just like, I was very, you know, disenchanted by the whole.

It was just like just lights. It looks like a fucking casino in every NFL stadium. You think the camera at one point hit you and like they thought you were an owner? Yeah, I was up in the box. They just saw your nonplussed look from a box. I was up in the box. Is this guy a fucking owner? Yeah, this guy is totally unfazed by all the lights and dog shit.

So it's like casino level bullshit bullshit everywhere like brands and logos fucking ever just flashing lights and then it's like cheerleaders dancing for no reason why are there cheerleaders why the fuck are there cheerleaders and i watched them during the game they just keep dancing they don't they stand in front of a section and just do moves and the people in the crowd are just watching the game like it's pointless are they supposed to come out like it like between they run out yeah and do a dance a routine yeah that's so stupid it is pretty dumb watching 50 women do a choreographed dance from like a hundred yards away is one of the dumbest things you can see

well it's also kind of a lack in faith of like male attention to be like between plays or like throw out half nakednaked chicks, everyone's going to leave. Well, they have a dude now, too. The hell's the dude? Was he killing it? The dude kills it. I'm going to go down there

and keep a monocle on that dude the whole time. Let me see that. Let me see that, dude. I was watching the dude the whole time. Were you really? It's so funny.

He wears a slightly different uniform than the women. Yeah, what's he rocking? He rocks kind of the same thing. Is he rocking like an Elton John suit? Like a piano thing?

What's he wearing? It's so ridiculous to see a guy doing those same moves of like every two seconds bending down and touching your toes and then like and then just the knowing the organization being like yeah we have a guy down there so what like a bunch of dudes from delco just like i don't like him being down there with my women dude that's gotta's got to be fucking teeing dudes up. And then it'll just cut to a troop in the audience. And they'll be like, ladies and gentlemen, let's take a moment to honor Staff Sergeant blah, blah, blah. He served three tours in Afghanistan. And the whole crowd stops and claps for him.

And then it's like, all right, back to fucking Migos. And then it just blasts hip hop. It just makes zero sense. That is a sick definition of progress. It's like, fine, gay guys can be sluts now. Whatever, throw them down there. We brought a gay guy slut down there with his sluts. Oh, give it up for a troop real quick.

Miller, light, drink it, you faggots. It's like, oh. The whole time you're there is just shit just getting shoved in your ass. That's fucking horrible. And then the Eagles come out and don't do shit on offense. It's the most boring game in your ass. That's fucking horrible. And then the Eagles come out and don't do shit on offense.

It's the most boring game in the world. Followed just shit everywhere. That was tough. I caught a glimpse of that. I caught a glimpse of that when I was out to dinner and it was just like, what the fuck? Dude, Wentz has a laser beam.

Wentz is good. But also in our box, there was this, just rich people, there was this dad and his son, his 14 year old 13 year old boy he's looking good he's a good looking boy was he no they wouldn't shut the fuck up he was screaming from the box he's like that's bullshit fuck you it's like dude you're you're only yelling at me like they can't hear you on the 40 feet You're 40 feet away from the rest of the people. Yeah, you're just right next to me screaming.

Every play, like, that's a bullshit call, Doug. Doug. And then his kid was doing it too. His kid started, he was like, Tom Brady, you suck. Tom Brady, you suck. Just on repeat. And I wanted to just tell him, like, kid, this is one of the greatest players of all time.

If not the greatest. You should have. You should enjoy this moment. Yeah. You'll be able to tell your kids you saw him play. You fucking weasel. It's a weird thing to teach your kid. Like every Sunday we can come here and get all of our negative feelings out about everything on this guy.

And the wife and the mom, like all of them were just in the box with them listening to their, they're like, oh, he gets crazy during the games. He loves sports. I'm like, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about he's screaming the wrong thing the whole time you've we're watching a family that's like adopted the ethos of like a paper towel commercial and they're just living it out yes they're just like my husband is a fanatic about sports and i light beers and screams during the game i click my tongue but in the secretly i love being part of a thing that i can make sense of it's like you shut the fuck up lady and then go home there was two chicks behind us these two girls that came in just sloppy fucking hammered and they just yelled the whole time in a box man

people screaming in a box is one of the dumbest things i've ever been a part of yeah the whole point of that is like separate yourself from the holy polo. Yes. From the fucking rabble. You can just sit up there and like plot what you're going to do. It's like you can kind of see them move more. Dude, I ate the food in there so bad. It's like Philly cheesesteak spring rolls and like Bud Light. That's what I like filled up on. Oh, man.

Then I had a cookie. They had cookies up there. I had a sweet treat. So you were just miserable eating horrible food? I was just eating dog shit. But I'm surrounded by all these... Because it has nothing to do with it. It just happened to be the NBC box, which was kind of funny.

So I'm around all these rich, older people. And I'm drunk eating a fucking chocolate chip cookie. And I sneezed. And just chocolate got all over me. I was just standing at the buffet eating and i was like eating a cookie like spit chocolate all over myself and i was like i gotta fucking i gotta go to the bathroom wash my clothes well there's something to do with when you eat chocolate and look into the sun it makes you sneeze so you got triggered by a chocolate cookie outdoors yeah looked out and all the fucking lights out there it's like oh my god but yeah it's all like mcdonald's ad

your body thought it was the sun you're like yeah just all these garbage there's a fly a military fly over a giant flag then it just blasts hip-hop and sluts dance yeah and then it's like give it up for this fucking troop right now make some noise for the eagles let's start down drink a fucking beer get insurance and eat fast food and then it's also i was laughing at uh it's lincoln financial field so there's just lincoln financial this big picture like their logo is lincoln's head and i was like i guarantee they have nothing to do with abraham lincoln they were just like all right what's somebody uh people trust lincoln damn put him out there that's our logo is abraham lincoln that's a bold logo yeah true pretty tight like hey he freed the slaves why don't you bank with us damn dude okay yeah that is weird i never even thought about that. Yeah. I was looking at Lincoln Financial. It's Abe's big head.

I doubt Abe founded that. Yeah, yeah. Damn. I don't know. I was crabby swirled out. That's super crab swirled. I was a crab swirled in this box. I could get real into doing like, instead of cheerleaders, just have like old school

president reenactors who come out and fucking. They do that. Orate on between plays. They give their famous speeches. I think in Milwaukee. and orate on between plays. They give their famous speeches. I think in Milwaukee. No, the Nationals do it where they have a bunch of dudes in president suits race around the field. It's pretty fun.

That's pretty tight. Yeah, there's some fun ones. The Eagles, it's a tough one. There's one. It might be St. Louis. They have this dude, like Mr. Freeze, I think. He's clearly just a black dude in a skin suit, one of those, you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, like a mo-cap suit. Yeah, he's wearing a suit that's blue, and he races someone around the park. That's pretty cool. So they give him a huge lead, and he just races normal people, and he's like an Olympic sprinter that just burns them. Burning people.

It's very funny, yeah. Fuck, that's hilarious. Yeah, that's a good one. And he's wearing a total, like the head cover, like the one from Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yes. Where he covers his whole head. Yes. And he just smokes people.

Yeah. Fuck, that's hilarious. Yeah, that's great. The cheerleaders just need to go. Yeah, it's kind of. I've had enough. It's a weird gig. Yeah.

It's just kind of a, I don't, you know. And college football, I used to like going to Notre Dame games because of of that like they don't have all that shit everywhere just shit i was about to say i was thinking about the time we went to notre dame and we're on wooden benches everyone's sitting there it's none of this fucking nonsense well they added shit now did they there's shit everywhere every college stadium now sucks just dog shit everywhere what do you think about the students getting paid we talked about this before i'm for it yeah yeah i dude i was i read an article about that the amount of money they get in endowments well the article is that historically black colleges should start having like they were like if you're a black d1 prospect go to a hbcsu whatever yeah

and whatever i figure what's called the initials but they're like go to historically black school and that way we can start funneling all the ncaa money to those schools and it's like well this doesn't solve the problem it's just like yeah yeah it doesn't do that yeah like we should segregate and get fucking paid yeah it's like they were hitting that last night the democratic debate were they really kind of not not that they were just hitting uh student loans and they were like black people don't pay their student loans you need to fucking have well they don't who said i'm saying which they don't. I'm saying which part I said that. They don't. Not all of them. Elizabeth Warren was like, 20 years after college, 90%, I think, white students have paid their debts. And 5% of black students have paid their student loan debts.

She was like, we need to forgive that in order to equalize. We need to break this racial stratification here over the I mean that system kind of rules for black people to be like yeah go to college and don't pay your

fucking debts true I mean it's the move you're gonna have bad credit but who cares who cares straight cash homie

get a degree let your credit sink make sure your bay goes you know goes to school gets all the paperwork straight it's kind of what i did find a thick white nurse it's kind of like i've defaulted on all my credit cards real hard in my 20s knowing like i'll you know my bay will take

my bay will have good paperwork stuff so that's kind of the samurai's path i thought i was i thought i had that path you were you rocked it the idea is to say fuck them and then if this degree translates into me getting paid i'll pay you guys back yeah yeah that's taking the power it's like as soon as i get money i'll just pay my student loans until then you get zero i always operated on like i'm fucking all these credit cards now and i'm going on a glory mission either i'll die on like i'm not gonna make it my life's purpose to pay back a gigantic financial institution. There's more debt... According to this article I read,

there's more debt than capital in the world. It makes no fucking sense. So there's people who literally control the money supply, who get to dictate the money supply, and then they hand out quote-unquote money. Whoever's in charge of everything. Who is? Whoever's in charge. everything who is whoever's

in charge i can't say the top levels of government oh it's it's different in every country the top levels of government get to control the currency and then once you control currency you can drown people in debt and then control them yeah i was like don't pay your student loans definitely don't pay them the top level of government in the united states has pretty much always been like old english families like right like wasps yeah for sure yeah i would say everybody always blames the jews i think there's a there's some there's a lot of dual citizenship going on the high levels of republican party nobody talks about but like what a lot there's a lot of people have dual citizenship to israel and uh there is you are blaming the jews i'm not blaming the jews it's it's a it's a pastiche dude of all the worst fucking wasps it's just like a horrible worst the worst of every group who becomes you know what i'm saying yeah but look what happens when a

shittier group takes over though you get like a fucking italian in office you just get a musolini up there it never stops dude yeah it never stops i was i've been researching the french revolution just because i'm reading this book me too bro it never fucking it's like it just gets worse there was a guy who's the guy robus robes robes pierre robes pierre yeah dude he got a little wacky that was the first person well not the first person that was one of those people who were like nah dude we're making this this is like this is such an injustice we're gonna be so fucking free and have so much liberty. Cut their fucking heads off.

He killed what? Like 20,000? He killed a lot of boys. 20,000? More people died at the hands of their government in the early 20th century than in the first world wars combined. Think about that. Isn't that fucked up?

Yeah. Why? Yeah. Well, that was because that was the end of monarchies like a lot of not the end but like the the you know yeah that was the the french revolution power change there apparently they stormed and correct me if i'm wrong in france they stormed the vatican's property in france seized it and then divided it and started selling it to people to feel the revolution well they hated uh yeah because i'm listening to that revolution spot guest and i selling it to people to feel the revolution well they hated uh yeah because i'm

listening to that revolution spot guest and i was listening to that i was listening to the french revolution but i haven't gotten into the the meat of it it's all leading up to it it's like dude their fucking government was dog shit it was crazy it was they had salt taxes that were just like different for every single town they had like the like the elites didn't pay shit for taxes. Yeah. I was listening to it. I was like, ooh, this is kind of eerily similar to where we're at. It's hitting home, dude.

And then they just drown us in like liberty, freedom. Yeah. You're just giving up for this fucking troop that's at the Eagles game with you. You're just shouldering all of the financial responsibility and being like, I'm so fucking happy I'm free. And it's just's just dude it's insane yeah but yeah that that to your point that was the whole thing in the french revolution like it just it was supposed to destroy monarchies and ended up just propping up dictators yeah and then we got napoleon exactly and it paved the way to napoleon's like no i'm the emperor of europe he was like oh shit he was geotis so fucking europe

god emperor he rules dude napoleon rules i've been i've been looking into him a little bit dude he's fucking wild he came out on top of the french revolution and just went ham even hammer yeah well it's funny because they're like kings are bullshit then people would seize control and like wait i can do whatever the fuck i want all right well i'm in charge of everything yeah yeah right away nobody can i don't think anyone can withstand. No. And even if you prove, like, all right, I'm not about this,

someone who wants to be the king will kill you. Yeah. It's unavoidable. Or you give birth to a fucking dipshit. Most likely, yeah. Yeah. But even if you're like, all right, I'm in charge, I'm going to level all this shit out, somebody's going to murder you.

Catherine the Great had a son named Paul who was next in line who was all like a piece of shit yeah and she but he gets a bad rap because she fucking killed his dad to take power so he was kind of fucked up and then yeah he was really fucked up from that and then she was like you're a piece of shit you're not gonna be a good ruler and she was like I'll give you the throne when you become of age and then he became of age and she was like no you're a fucking of shit. You're not going to be a good ruler. And she was like, I'll give you the throne when you become of age. And then he became of age, and she was like, no, you're a fucking loser. I'm keeping this.

And then he ruled for like five years, and someone killed him. Damn. His mom take back over, and she died. No, it was after she died. She kept power until she died. Jesus, man. Yeah. The monarchs have really, like all those, they're hilarious.

Yeah, it's almost unshakable. That's what was trying to i was watching the prince andrew uh you watched the prince andrew interview no billy bro dude me and billy have been fighting you guys been fighting about this dude he put me on the he put me in the group chat what was that he was at me and then immediately kicking me and then sending you like military he'll add you send you a meme of a guy getting his head blown off and kick you out of the fucking group today i was on the phone with him and he was like i was like dude you gotta let me back in the group chat bro you gotta let me in and he was like you have 30 seconds to post the best gif you can find i was driving he was like 30 29 i was like fuck dude i can't I can't I'm driving Pedro sent me a good gift the other day

the um dudes did you watch the Epstein shit or not Prince Andrew stuff no he was telling me about it though holy fuck is it funny

the Billy told me the sweating line dude the sweating line is like the tip of the fucking iceberg there's so much shit I dude I watched it

while I was in bed on a three day vacation i lay there and watch first of all i watched a four hour it's funny your vacation was just my life for three days it's like you laid in bed all day and they're like all right i'll do something for two hours literally dude that's what i did i would get up in the morning eat or make breakfast and then sleep go back immediately go back to sleep it's awesome it. It was pretty fucking nice, man. I was a little sick, too, so it kind of fucked me up. Dude, it was nice. I laid there pretty much for three days,

watched cops, a lot of cops, which was so fucking good. How great is our cops? The new cops, too, the upgraded cops, which is like, boom, city to city. Live PD? I think you told me about that. Yeah, live PD. That's very dystopian.

Bro, that was so good. I couldn't stop watching that. Yeah. It was like, boom, this city, that city. I'm like, damn, that. Yeah, live PD. That's very dystopian. Bro, that was so good. I couldn't stop watching that. Yeah. It was like, boom, this city, that city. I'm like, damn, they've definitely stepped up cops. Yeah, I didn't do shit. Then finally, I actually... Yeah, they went NFL red zone for cops.

I'm going to get called a liar on this if Brittany ever hears this. I saw a baby bull shark. She claims it's a catfish. Bull fucking shit. I've seen catfish. I know what they look like. Is it an ocean catfish? It's brackish water.

Okay. So this is the Gulf we're talking. So we're in one of the little inlets in the Gulf. We see this thing came out. It was like fucking two and a half feet long. I swear to God, a fin popped up. I'm like, this is a baby bull shark. There's another guy who goes, this is fresh water.

I'm like, bro, this is brackish, first of all. Baby bull sharks will swim in brackish water see your dickheaded ass in a fucking outside what were you wearing oh man i don't know just i think like a visor and sure it was like shorts and a button down first of all bro this is brackish it's like oh my god i actually found out it was brackish like i called my dad right away i was like do sharks swim in fresh water he's like that's brackish water i'm like it's fucking brackish they do swim they can they can some do but that brackish is where you'm like, it's fucking brackish. They do swim. They can. They can. Some do, but that brackish is where you get these bull... Bro, this was the craziest thing you've ever seen.

I think it was a bull shark that went into Jersey and started munching people. Could have been. It was a bull shark or a... This was a babe. This was a little... Dude, so we went on this little... I was in Florida in Cape Coral. So we weren't necessarily...

I thought it was the Keys. This is not the Keys. It's like above an hour and a half above the Keys. Dude, we walked through this thing. It's just a trail that goes through this tree canopy. And there's like a foot from you is just marsh and swamp. Well, first of all, my bae is not having this. So I have to like walk.

You bring a pregnant bae to a swamp. Pretty much. She wasn't liking it. So then I made her climb a tower too, so like we can overlook the whole thing. She was not feeling this. And the top, she goes, oh my God, look up. There was there was a spider i swear to god the size of my fucking hand just chilling above us and i was like oh i took a picture of it but we fucking uh let me see the picture when you get a chance yeah i'll definitely show it to you the um i have a good big spider yo you're how nice

is that to see a big fucking spider that's my ass floating in a pool that's my never that was my nevermind picture i took a picture that's what i started telling you before we started we were taking pictures you wanted to send a picture my mom so we're taking pictures together but one picture it's in my deleted files i pulled she was setting the phone up for auto time so as she was setting the phone up i slid i was slipping my boxers i didn't have a bathing suit so i took my boxers off and we took the picture and the water was freezing so i just have a teenus floating on the surface and we're both smiling like a second before we took it she saw it her face in the picture you deleted it i have it in my delete all right let me see that i let her delete it and then i'm like sweet it's in my deleted files

bro it is so her face sees teenus looks back up to smile. She saw that baby bull shark fin, dude. She saw the fin in the water. I'm in brackish water, dude. Obviously, the baby bull shark's coming out. It is so fucking funny. Oh, that was so funny. She was so mad about that. But that was just fun to do.

It was just me and her alone, and I just fucking slid the pants off. Oh, man. This is the, hold on. That was me holding a lizard. No big deal. Oh, man. This is the... Hold on. That was me holding a lizard. No big deal. Oh, that lizard pic was nice. Yeah, dude.

Look at that fucking thing, man. Wow. Disgusting. Wow. Spider's humongous. That thing was creeping me the fuck out. Gave me the creepy crawlies for sure. But either way.

So, yeah. So, I just chilled for three days slept ate oh my god the food down there so bad the restaurants up there there was we went to one salty pappy's shrimp delicious oh man salty pappy's was good we went to this mexican restaurant it was the literally is the worst the worst mexican food i've ever had in. Yeah, there's a fucking food truck right next to my house that I always fucking hit up walking back from the train. I'll see it and be like, yes, dude, get a fucking burrito for us to eat that. They're hit or miss. Garbage. Every time.

It's like flavorless Mexican food. That's what this was. It's like cold and wet always. I didn't even think it was possible. Dude, this was the most disgusting shit I've had ever yeah oh perfect dude the um it was it was horrible it was really i honestly it was so bad that i i mean i wouldn't do this but i considered yelping it and just being like don't go here it's really bad dude it was expensive as fucking it was literally i left all my food on the plate you were trying to smash that wall button. You're like, build a fucking wall.

It was funny. My bae fucking was mad about her food. Let's just say she adopted some political stances that I don't necessarily support. But yeah, we got... I actually had a... Baes are quick to adopt political stances. Bro, what do you think? There's something inconvenient.

The matriarchy started racism, dude. stances the matriarchy started racism dude obviously the matriarchy started racism agreed wait what's he who's he doing yeah i don't know something about him i don't like that is how that's how racism started like bays coming back and be like they have huge dicks you have a small one it's like what we gotta kill him what the fuck i can't get over there dude this so we were talking the royals. So the Prince Andrew, you know about all his allegations, right? No, I don't. Bro, I'm gonna give you the snapshot.

Yeah. So he claims BFF with Jelaine Maxwell, who's Epstein's alleged procurer slash girlfriend bae. Yeah. Who also, it's weird. It's not just procured. She stayed with him after he got indicted for raping kids and whatever. But whatever. Okay. That's just a normal girl. That's just a loyal bae, dude. Just a loyal bae yeah who also it's weird like it's not just for cure and is out chilling she stayed with him after he got indicted for raping kids and whatever but whatever okay that's just a normal that's just a loyal bae just a loyal bae that's arguably the most loyal bae i mean that's the

the definition of it damn so yeah so that's kind of support her now dude i mean technically that's that is the definition of thick and thin yeah but i mean i i wonder about that in terms of like a bay just like sending other bays into women prostitution or women obviously women like in a young girl prostitution that's a power trip dude yeah of recruiting i don't even know how you're like you already have a bunch of money big all right i i maybe i was struggling super hard like how does that even come about i don't know. But Prince Andrew was in pictures with his accusers. One of his accusers he was in a picture with, arms around his waist. That buzzing?

Yeah. That's some fucking shit. Shit here, sorry. He has a picture of him with his arm around his accuser's waist in the upstairs of Maxwell's house. And he claims he was like, well, I mean, I see that picture, but I've never been upstairs in my friend's house. And he claims he was like, well, I mean, I see that picture, but I've never been upstairs in my friend's house. So, I mean, that might not be my arm. That might be someone's arm.

Yeah, and everyone's like, well, how the fuck do you know that's what upstairs looks like? Dude, he fucking jumbled all over. This is his first, this is him saying how he was introduced to Epstein. So fucking funny. In the United States and doing things. And if he wasn't there, he would say,

well, why don't you come and use my houses so i said that's very kind thank you very much indeed so according to his his narrative and that's the funny part for everyone who watched that interview it's like just suspend all the things of what people think he was doing and go by his story. It's the funniest fucking story, dude. According to Prince Andrew, he got out of the Navy. He was single for a while,

but he never partied. He was single for a while. He was single. Dude, literally, that's exactly what he says. I wasn't partying. I wasn't much of a partier. That's literally how he talks.

And he's like, but I was single in the 80s for a long spell of time. And then he starts talking about, so he was a prince he wanted to learn about business so he's like I must go to America to learn about business and he's like he links up with Epstein

who really is not as I want to learn about business I want to link up with Epstein I'm a prince and I need to learn about business I'm totally fucking I have no idea I couldn't be in London with like the top bankers in the world.

Yeah, dude. No, no fucking way. He has to go to, so his friends are doing- I have to go to South Beach or wherever the fuck he wants. I have to go to an island with a ton of underage women

to learn about business. Dude, history is- No, that's true. That's good basic economy. He wanted to figure out, I mean, his whole thing with Epstein is that like what he said epstein has a what epstein did right he had to set a knack for bringing like the coolest people together he just had a way this is what he says he's like he had a way of bringing like just the most diverse and just like eminent people in

their fields together yeah what do you think that way what do you think that attractor was he just had a way it's all men of that attractor was? He just had a way. It was all men of different... Everybody just loved it. He just had a way of accumulating the most powerful men in one place. I don't know how he did it. Yeah, what was it? Oh, the finest young sniz in the world? No, it was just people who wanted to learn about business, Shane.

Get your fucking mind... Don't be such a conspiracy theorist, dude. My bad. Prince Andrew was chilling in the castle. He was in Buckingham Palace. He's like, I'm done the Navy. I'm working a lot of charity work around the abuse of children weirdly enough and uh he's like it's time i strike off to america like a dickens novel character he's like it's time i learn about business so he went over there he's friends with jelaine maxwell it's a stretch to say

that him and jeffrey epstein were like good friends by any imagination. Yeah. They weren't, you know, he was more or less Epstein was like a plus one kind of situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I stand with the prince. This is the princess. This is the princess narrative. So he was learning business.

Epstein, again, as you saw him and said, well, if you need a place to crash, I have all these properties. You can see, he goes,

indeed, that's fantastic. So he goes and stays and he starts hanging out. He goes to the island. That's quite nice. That's quite nice. He goes to the island. That's quite nice. That's quite nice. He goes to the island and then, you know, he's on there. He's at the island multiple times.

He's staying at Epstein's place all the time. The shit hits the fan. Epstein gets busted. Damn it. Indicted. Damn it. Dude, what's Prince Andrew do? Again, they're not friends, bro.

Prince Andrew rather because they were like, well, why did you go visit him after he got indicted? And he was like, I didn't want to be a chicken. The chickens way out would have simply been a phone call to end this friendship. I went to go face to face to discuss with him. And they were like, what? And they're like, why? And he was like, I went over there and I said, Jeffrey, that's it.

No more. It's done. It's not good for us to be together anymore. And the lady's like, according to this, you stayed at his house for the next three days after that? He goes, well, I needed a place to stay, of course. It's going to just fly back. I'm not made of money. I don't have the Bank of England behind me. He's like, I checked out a hotel tonight and everything was ridiculous.

Of course I stayed. And the dude, they're like, well, he had a party that night. You were the guest of honor. He was like, a party? Did he have a party after he like, well, he had a party that night. You were the guest of honor. He was like, a party? Dude, has he had a party after he got indicted? He had a party. Wow. After he took a plea deal and got done.

Oh. Through a party. Prince Andrew's like, I'd hardly call it a party. There was eight people there. Dude, his fucking shit is unbelievable. Eight people is exactly what a party is. I mean, dude, that's... I have a party with more than eight people.

I'm like, this sucks. Dude, this is the... I have a party with more than eight people. I'm like, this sucks. Dude, this is the... I have all these things time-stamped. It is the funniest fucking shit listening to this guy. But that's his tale. Oh, so the other thing, too, is that he... So the reason... So they're like, well, okay, so say that's true.

And, you know, you were around all this all the time. How did you not know that there was weird shit? You're a prince. You're not like a total fucking ditz. You could tell if there's a bunch of young girls around. He was like, there were two answers to that that were so funny. He was like, well, first of all, with my station, I am part of the royal family. People tend to clean up their act a little differently around me.

So when I'm around, it's a whole different set of behaviors. So it was as if he was hitting down on Epstein. still in business mode and people were like oh shit the prince is coming guys don't talk about like how we fuck kids and stuff we can't upset this prince how old were these kids what is this i don't know 15 16 the girl who he accused of having sex was 17 at the time there epstein got indicted for raping a like a 13 year old girl oh and then he had he got in trouble later for like procuring underage prostitutes that was another thing on the books he got busted for so he was this dude was busted dude and this guy was chilling with him after being busted and just being like well i didn't want to be a chicken i had to tell him face to face jeffrey that's it no more

it's awesome dude this is his i love that that's it. No more. It's awesome. Dude, this is his... I love that that's what he thinks people are going to believe his conversation was. It was definitely like, you cannot tell on me. I'll kill your entire family if you tell on me.

For sure. That's exactly what the conversation was. They met in Times Square. Not in Times Square. They met in Central Park to talk. Oh, yeah. So he couldn't fucking kill her. He was like,

you're going to kill me, dude. We need to meet very publicly. Yeah. Yeah. And then they discussed it. He went over there for three more days and just obviously had parties and did business. He's like, you're going to kill me, dude. We need to meet very publicly. Yeah. Yeah. And then they discussed it. He went over there for three more days and just obviously had parties and did business. He's like, I was doing business. I didn't even see him barely.

Just doing business. I saw him in the corridors. Dope. Dude, this is his. Also, a bit of a stretch. I don't know why I've collected that title because I never have really partied. I was single for quite a long time in the early 80s. But then after I got married, I was very happy.

Sorry, that was the wrong thing. I like it. That was the wrong thing, dude. I don't know why. Oh, dude, this is my favorite part of the whole thing. Skipping forward. Sorry, this is annoying to the people, but this is funny as fuck. I can't do this.

The sound bites are too funny. I was talking to, and I took the decision that it was, I had to show leadership, and I had to go and see him, and I had to tell him, that's it. That was December of 2010 he threw a party to celebrate his release and you were invited as the guest of honor oh in 2010 that there wasn't certainly wasn't a a party to celebrate his release in December because it was a small dinner party there were only eight or ten of us, I think, at the dinner. If there was a party, then I'd know nothing about that.

You were invited to that dinner as a guest of honour? Well, I was there, so there was a dinner. I don't think it was quite as you might put it, but, yeah, OK, I was there for a dinner, yeah. I'm just trying to work this out, because you said you went to break up the relationship and yet you stayed at that new york mansion several days i'm wondering how long i was doing a number of other things while i was there but you were staying at the house of a convicted sex offender it was a convenient place

to stay yo i mean this dude is on the next level dude i love that inside just like oh god like i have to explain this to you it was a fucking nice place to stay god i'm even having this conversation dude there's another part of the uh so he got in trouble for so there's that right so he's staying at a pedophile's house they don't know why and there's pictures of him with his arms around like a fucking while he's married like a 17 year old girl's waist and he's like like do you think that's a faked picture he's like it's impossible to say he's like i don't remember i don't remember ever and i thought about it i'm like did i ever have sex no i can't remember anything it's like dude what the fuck dude i could go on dude it's like there's so much shit on there it's so

fucking funny there was also so they did the night of the girl so the girl uh said something about like the girl who accused him like he's like we had sex three times he paid fifteen thousand dollars to jelaine maxwell to have sex with. And they were like, we danced to a song. He was profusely sweating the entire time. And his defense, he was like, at the time, I couldn't sweat. I had a medical condition. So I had so much adrenaline when I was in the Navy, I couldn't sweat anymore. Now I can sweat again.

But then I couldn't sweat, so the story's not true. I was like, dude, what? But, dude, I was laughing. The song they danced to Was Mambo No. 5 It was like Bam bam bam Bam bam bam One

Two Three four five Oh no The party prince is just grinding The party prince dude The bar they were at Was called Tramps Was it really

No He's like I've never been to Tramps I don't know the layout of it Dude it was so fucking funny. This guy does rule. Dude, just him, just the prince's manners around being a pedophile. I must say, this pussy is magnificent.

Splendid, really. You've done it again, Jeffrey. The finest pussy. I must say, this is splendid. Immaculate. These child sex slaves are splendid, Jeffrey. There's another part at the end where he's like, I must say, Jeffrey's behavior was a bit uncoming.

And the lady's like, Uncoming? He's a conflicted rapist. And he's like, Well, I'm trying to be polite here. Dude. And then he describes himself as being uncoming in the next breath, which is like...

Okay, dude. Unbecoming. Unbecoming. Uncoming. I was going to say, I think they were coming it was definitely on it was definitely coming dude he was like and he's like you know the behaviors that i or jeffrey was behaved dude literally 40 it was like it was the most insane thing i've ever watched but the whole thing and the ladies the whole point of that is the whole lady's quaking being like we're not quaking but she's like it's just certainly odd to be in buckingham palace she's like nervous to even bring this up i'm like wait do you guys have a fucking king or no like yeah they're still afraid why are you guys afraid

of these fucking weirdos right of royalty in england i mean for a good reason yeah that shit's been centuries yeah centuries of just getting killed obviously i'm I'm 1776. I'm disgusted watching them kowtow to this. Dude, this is an evil entity. I hate it. This is disgusting. Bro. Again, the guy's narrative is that he was so interested

in business, he somehow got linked up with a known fucking child sex trafficker. That's just a good business. And then the only reason he isn't made aware of what was going on

is because he's such a prince. Everyone's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, prince is coming, guys. Chill, chill. Prince is coming guys chill chill prince is coming hide the kids hide the kids

the prince we can't fucking misbehave around the prince so all these billionaires were like oh fuck the prince is here

damn like he was coming in like and everyone's like oh fuck but yeah and then he also said that and then they're like

well dude like there's gotta been a ton of kids coming around he goes well I don't want to bring this up but the way I

grew up we have staff and I just figured they were servants so he was just like i saw a bunch of hot young girls and naturally it was like they must be servants and that was it yeah i was i was thinking this last night uh because they asked one of the questions of the democratic debate was would you press charges against trump like would you try to lock him up if if he's found guilty of all the hashtag lock him up yeah they're trying to do they're getting their own lock them up chance they're starting it back hilarious and uh bernie was like kind of like yeah but then biden was like

no like we need to heal all this shit i wonder if that's because biden oh and all them are like we better not fucking lock this guy up or he is gonna rat on everyone i mean he must be sitting on wild trump must be sitting on some wild shit i think so man trump daddy was down there with epstein too yeah i mean i know he hung out with the staff the whole time he was there once too man maybe he thought they were servants too maybe that's what he meant by hanging out with the staff. He was just having sex with the staff. He was just fucking young women. He's like, you can fuck the dishwashers here?

This is crazy. Yeah, there's also a rape allegation against Bill Clinton. Male. A boy. A teenage boy who was like, he raped me when I was a boy. This shit's going wild. One of the kids on 4chan. I was talking to Spud today about this.

Yeah, I was talking to Spud about about this and i was just kind of yeah well i was talking to spud about this apparently again you never know but even still it's like dude the whole thing of like jim bateman didn't pay his taxes for now it's like he fucking fucks kids he fucks kids and like so today now it's like hillary clinton's fucking eating brains and and Donald Trump probably fucked it, boy. Political ads now are like, oh, no, he's definitely a satanic child molester, brain eater. Senator Martin didn't vote for Title 17. That would have given tax breaks to teachers. He hates teachers. Now it's fucking, Bill Clinton performed a satanic ritual off the New England coast.

Oh, wait. Do you want a president that eats the brains of virgins? Hillary Clinton disappeared an entire village in Haiti. Yeah, Billy was hitting me with all that. He was telling me about the Clinton Foundation. It's so funny.

Losing $17 billion a fucking year or something. $17 million a year driving a truck around philly just talking to me for like a half hour about the clinton foundation it's so oh it's the best dude it's it's incredible it is wonderful i just yeah it is it is weird like i'm like dude where's this shit going and it's like dude prince andrew the worst part is the worst part is is prince andrew was hanging out. That's my thing, too. It's like, he's a prince. That's what princes do.

Whatever they want. Yeah. He even said he's like, it's not like, now you have to contend with all this electronic social media stuff. It was never like this. It's the weirdest dude. He has the weirdest kind of like, you watch his interview, it's like him being like, I don't remember, and him being like, definitely not.

And him being like, it's just different now. And it's like, what are you saying? and he keeps describing the behavior as like it was definitely wasn't that the way i behaved was not becoming for the world and it's like are you saying you fucked kids and it was rude like which one is it it was very rude like elbows on the table fucking kids it's like what the fuck is this yeah i wonder I wonder. I mean, imagine that. Like, if you had all the power in the world and no laws. So no matter what you did, you were right. Yeah. Yeah, I bet royal families have been doing some wild shit for a very long time.

I think it's all true. I think citizens come up with wild, crazy shit. The royals and the elites do weird, crazy shit pretty constantly. And I think it's literally all true. Yeah. That people are conspiracy. Again, the shit, that's the other thing. What do you mean?

What's all true? Do you think Bill Clinton performed satanic rituals off the coast of New England? No, I think there's a blur. Billy hit me with that today. He might have. Billy hit me with that exactly. Off the coast of New England, like in Cape Cod. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah well that's the thing about performing rituals i just dislike the term conspiracy because it's like to be like this guy probably fucked young

kids like you're a conspiracy theorist but it's like there's a picture of him with his arm around a 17 year old girl in joselein maxwell's house a bunch of other girls are saying sex traffic them and she's the longtime boyfriend of a guy who suspiciously died in prison so it's like you can't you gotta you gotta hold that label off but then i will read stuff too about like like the naturalist.com and it's like just the wildest fucking shit about the clintons where i'm like wait how is this fucking corroborated yeah so i think it's true that there's definitely a bunch of people in charge who have done horrible horrific things who probably don't want that getting out and then there's this political machine who continuously propagandizes into that same vein that just kind of makes it it's again

i've talked about this shit before with the uh hyper normal whatever hyper whatever it's called normalization hyper normalization from that documentary it's just you just inject reality with so much crazy shit that no one knows what's going on anymore but yeah so i don't know i i did i think prince andrew is it guilty yes i do i really watch that i'm like because again read his real story it's like this prince was interested in business was conveniently staying with a fucking pedophile and then went flew over to a guy's who wasn't his friend he said he's that's a stretch to call my friend flew over to be like i got your back bro we're done being friends we're done being friends big wink yeah and then stayed at his house for three that's

crazy just gotta i don't know why they didn't just find a different you know pedophile sex ring because once you engage in one they they have the dirt on you. You're fucking, you have to do what they say. Unless your mommy goes and fucking, fucking kills his ass. Oh, you think the queen did it? I don't know, dude.

I don't know who did it. Could have been anyone. That guy had a ton of powerful people connected to a child sex ring that has been verified as a child sex ring. Yeah. He was guilty. He tried to tried to start literally had the illuminati by the dick he was he tried to start new thailand he did he did dude he was guilty of trying to start new thailand he declared independence

from thailand the sovereign nation i was actually laughing about the uh the like the flight to thailand just like on the way there on flight movie like we're watching outdoor tranny bonanza The sovereign nation. I was actually laughing about the flight to Thailand. On the way there. The on-flight movie. We're watching outdoor Tranny Bonanza 7, and people are just fapping hard on the whole way. Your in-flight movie is Tranny Bonanza 16. There's people the whole time like... Damn.

They have cum bags. There's a thing that comes down and Damn. They have cum bags. Vomit bags. There's a thing comes down and pinches your nipples from the top. And you're like, oh, God. But yeah, man. I don't know. The interview, you have to watch the interview. Man, the flight to Thailand must be so funny.

Oh, my God. Just see one weird white dude sitting by himself like, ew. Ew. It's a porn theater in the air. It's a porn theater flying to another location. That's what porn theaters do. You sit in them and they're like Mayan rockets. They're just like,

they just take off and send you to fucking Thailand. Yeah, man, I was laying in bed just obsessed with Prince Andrew. I kept getting my wife kept being like, stop, what is that? Turn that off. I was laying in bed Just obsessed with Prince Andrew I kept getting My wife kept being like Stop What is that Turn that off I was like I have

I was like time marking stuff And watching Rewinding Replaying Dude I was laughing So fucking hard Oh man I was in tears at breakfast

Just eating And Brittany's like What's so funny I was like I tried to explain Mambo number five to her And she was just like Oh my god

Will you stop Who is this This is quite good Mambo No. 5 to her, and she was just like, oh my God, will you stop? Who is this? This is quite good. Lou Bega. Wow, Jeffrey, I'd like to have him perform for us. Bring him here. Dude, you think Lou probably did a live concert.

For the queen? For the fucking party prince? For the parties? The party prince, Prince parties the party prince Prince Andrew he doesn't know why people call him that dude dude

that interview is just the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life oh she said I was sweating yeah well I'm gonna debunk

this right now I cannot sweat so I had so much adrenaline when I was in the Navy and then dude

he like weirdly talks about being in the Navy and he was like it's a very lonely time in a person's life you're in a cabin and it's like are it's a very lonely time in a person's life. You're in a cabin, and it was like.

Are you just saying you fucked guys? What are you talking about? Why are you telling us you fucked guys? We were talking about the party prince, and he was like, well, I was in the Navy, and a lot of times, yes, you would. It's very lonely, and you'd get off, and people would party, but I didn't partake in that. It's like, okay. He was just too interested in business, dude. Maybe.

And, dude, the funny part is like what was your family say he's like my family was all close with jeffrey and they're like what's become of jeffrey father like this whole family's like papa what's become of uncle jeffrey what is all this madness damn he's like i don't know i was just there for business everybody dude it's a fucking crit his story literally is that he was there for business man imagine if like your wife or girlfriend like explained

like you kept going over to this person's house and she's like what do you do over there it's like nothing we're just hanging out then he gets arrested for like sex slavery

and it's like fuck she's like you were hanging out with him a lot like yeah I never saw anything like that

I was curious about how business worked and I needed he needed contacts they would just fly the girls in they weren't just living at that temple what the staff was saying they were concubines at a temple

they would get flown you would see these girls coming they would take them shopping what was that fucking temple that blue and white striped thing with the gold dome nobody knows dude it's there's tons of theories around him i gotta get spud was telling me about that there was also a pedophile one of the other princes was connected to god damn it i can't remember the guy's name there was another pedophile ring that was connected and never really it didn't get kind of like closed out like epstein's

apparently but it's uh there's another one Prince was connected to, people did research on. But there's stuff like that dumb temple, that thing. Yeah. If it's a temple. What do you even call it? It was probably just dumb Jeffrey Epstein, like some weirdo being like, wow, look at that cool building I built. I don't know what the fuck it means. They just put stripes on it.

No, conspiracy theorists are like, each stripe represents a woman that was... You know what I mean? Sure, no, absolutely. They all read into all this dumb shit. And this is kind of what I'm talking about. There's two waterfalls. There's a grab bag of horrible events from history, and then there's, you know,

conspiratorial thinking that behooves separate political parties, and they just merge into a fucking stream that's totally undecipherable. Yeah. So it's like, yes, there's horrible stuff that's happening. Yes, people in charge do horrible stuff,

but then there's these political machines that just completely cloud that and everything comes out. It's just you don't know what the fuck's going on. But yeah, I agree. Yeah. To be like seven, seven sickles on the thing. And yeah. Also, I just watched the Twin Peaks four hour explanation that all that is is just like

this thing is that and they symbolize it. And it's so fucking good. Really? Explains Twin Peaks. You love Twin Peaks. I love Twin Peaks. is just like this thing is that and this symbolizes dude and it's so fucking good really explains twin peaks you love twin peaks i love twin peaks and now every your enthusiasm for it makes me want to give it a shot it's good man but the explanation get over the dialogue oh i love it bro it's just it's just the balance and i could explain i'm not gonna go on another tirade because i feel like i'm entirely yeah we've had this conversation well i, I watched the explanation. Now I know what it's about. What's it about? Dude, it's too meta. Not meta.

You might explode. Let me hear it. But you haven't seen it, so it's hard to explain it. It doesn't matter. So, Jesus Christ. Our weird listeners have. They have. If there's a four-hour explanation, I'm almost done.

But basically, in a nutshell, Twin Peaks was supposed to bring balance to television at the time at the time television people were addicted to a drug called closure so you'd watch one of like the murder mysteries someone would get murdered no one would really grieve them really there was no real human element to it someone get murdered they'd be zipped up in a body bag they'd find the killer who was totally one-dimensional solved onto the next one all these people would get discarded you know whatever David Lynch was like he wanted to do a murder mystery that never got solved that it was like you know there was like there was a guy in it bob who was supposed to be tv violence who would possess characters and doing horrible heinous stuff and then the people were it was like a real town where

they were left like people would cry for like three minutes in the show it's like oh this is crazy but the um and then he was inhabiting bob was this character was inhabiting characters and it was the spirit of violence on tv so he like and then there was a girl who dies in beginning laura palmer yeah her mystery was never supposed to go solved or never get supposed to get solved he was going to have all these streams these stories was a branch off of this thing that happened and balanced this horrible violence with all these good like drinking coffee apple pie and then all the bad people were eating cream corn and like corn snacks all the time because of the invention of after the nuclear blast i think it was 56 or so i forget no 40s i think the nuclear blast happened elvis i think

went on tv in 56 and that was like the i think 56 was all through the invention of the tv dinner and the side was usually cream corn yeah so a lot of times these these people were eating all the time was cream corn so there was coffee and pie and coffee fuels for you to get in touch with like the unified field it's it's it goes really this he's a transcendental meditator so the unified field field. If you watch the third season, there's this black... Transcendental meditator. What the fuck are you talking about? I can't, dude.

You'd have to see all three of them. But in the third season, there's a place where... Either way, for the first season... Sorry, this is such a scramble. You can do it. They forced him in the second... The first season was a hit. Everyone loved it.

There's so much mystery around it. All this cool stuff's happening. And he was pushing in all these other kind of concepts and ideas that people would research and then the second season they're like you have to announce who the killer is and lynch was like fuck that the whole point of the show is to never announce who the killer is yeah the whole thing was they were in a tv show and there was characters who were semi aware of the fact they were in a tv show it was weird but the um so he walked from the show and then they closed it up and everyone's like this show fucking sucks they were like they were like this blows you know his tank because he

just walked away from it so the the third season's on showtime so he did a remake and where the show is dead and then like there's characters just walking around doing like kind of nothing they have no idea what's going on because laura the mystery was what held the whole thing together either way but he's a unified field is like where you kind of your consciousness reaches to when you met if you're experienced enough meditator you can reach the unified field where you're just at total peace with everything and that's where he said good ideas like Laura Palmer come from so in the field it's like you see this egg popping out of this like weird ocean thing and then there's like these the whole thing with electricity where there's these like power lines sizzling to where like kind of like all the bad ideas from the nuclear blast there was just like

zeitgeist of fear that inhabited all these people that was then broadcasted through electricity and broadcasted through television it's too much to explain it's four hours where this guy goes through line by line oh man it's so fucking good i bought wi-fi on the flight to watch it nice my bet dude i don't know why why are bays so fucking fr. Nice. I bought Wi-Fi on the flight to watch it. Nice. Dude, I don't know why. Why are bays so fucking frugal? Bays are frugal. They buy the dumbest bullshit, and then I'm like getting Wi-Fi. 16 bucks.

Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I want to watch this thing. I'm not going to watch this four-hour thing unless I'm sitting in the air with nothing to do. $16? If I'm home. You spent 100 bucks on a dress for our unborn child. If I'm home trying to rent, I'll be like, Mom, I'm going to rent this fucking movie.

She'll be like, no, you're not. I'm like, it's $4. Look at the fucking lantern you have sitting on that desk. Yeah. That junk, that hunk of shit you bought at HomeGoods for $19. Yeah, dude, my dad pays like $200 for cable. And I'm like, I'm going to rent a movie for $5. He's like, what the hell?

No, you're not. It's like, dude, stop paying stop paying two I could get you this movie for free right now stop paying fucking 200 bucks yeah they they freak about the geezers got fucked electronic transfers fucking Xfinity gets the geezers they get them that's all they got left Comcast is just butt fucking geezers bro when they go yeah I mean Comcast is already dying anyway they're they're the lifeblood of Comcast. The geezers are the lifeblood for a lot of those things. They're going to prop up. They're going to get into streaming. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, dude, the Twin Peaks thing I'd have to talk about for like three hours. It's so fucking sick. Fuck yeah. So sick. So good. I'll watch it. Now I won't.

It's so good. I keep trying to watch it. It's good. It's, you know, it's kind of, I can see, though, how it would have not appeal. It's like super, and again, this is just a guy's interpretation of it, but it's like beyond all meta, everything. It's unbelievable. Damn.

It's his, he's a filmmaker. His whole thing is that, like, film is where you can have, like, a real dream and things come from, and it's balanced. He's like, TV's not balanced, and TV's's replacing film so people are becoming unbalanced and blah blah blah i mean i think he's kind of right but yeah either way so what else is going sorry that's my fucking no tirade about a screen sandrew twin peaks which is my personal thing that's my personal little all i had was the fucking nfl i was just thinking about that fucking game. Fuck, that was so funny. But, dude, in that fucking Xfinity Center,

it's Xfinity Live. Yeah. Oh, you went there afterwards? Before. Dude, they had, like, bull riding in this one thing. One of the weirdest things I've ever watched is girls getting in line. It was all girls from, like, 21 to 25. It was all girls from like 21 to 25.

It was beautiful baby girls everywhere. This is their time to shine on a bull? Yeah, and they would all get on the bull, and the weird dude controlling it makes them fucking, it like vibrates so their ass shakes. The strip club DJ? And everyone just sits in a circle around it, drinking, staring at it.

Very weird. It's just entirely bizarre dude yeah it's like the most basic and it's like if girls can ride a mechanical bull that means they're good at sex yeah they can sit on a dick just do they buck them off a lot yeah so they fall yeah they fall eventually how do they take the fall or like they'll hang on so like their legs are spreading their asses in the air and the thing will slowly circle around while they're hanging on so everyone can get a good look at their genitals and buttholes. I mean, dude, the masses are vulgar. That's kind of what drives people.

I was just standing there like, what the fuck? What is this? What are we doing? This is weird. Yeah, man. doing this is weird yeah man it's and it's all it's all i mean it's fun going to a game but it's all like the most basic shit in the world yeah like you watch hot 20 year olds on a ride a bull then you drink giant cans of beer and go into a game where it's like look at this fucking cheerleader dude well it's funny he reminds me of of while we were sitting there on a trip.

I just want good, clean football, dude. I just want to watch the strategy of the game, dude. Well, that's let me watch the beautiful game. That's the thing we're seeking is like utter titillation of the senses. Now, I was sitting there with Brittany, and she was going through like all inclusives while we're on one vacation. She's already looking at others. And I'm like, well, you just like exist with me right now and stop with that shit and you know she was just like oh i don't

you know she was just curious or whatever but the whole point she's talking just show me all inclusives and i was just like so i've been to all inclusive and i'm like i'm starting to relive it like when i'm like you go there and it's just designed for total sensory so you you walk in and then like they have a casino and you're like and you're like money and you're like and then you go to a comedy club and you're like and then girls dance the staff like shakes their butts you're like oh yeah i'm hard and it's just seven days of just eating as much as you can being utterly titillated then you go home you're like oh fuck and you're back at your job just kind of like oh it sucks it's so fucking boring oh It's so fucking boring. Oh, it's so fucking boring. And you're back selling fucking Hondas. Yeah, they just ship you off.

It's like, oh, once a year. Under those lights in an office, just like, ugh. And if you're lucky, you get shipped off to a controlled environment where your senses are stimulated, and you're like, oh, oh, oh, hilarious. Oh, food.

Oh, girls. I'm fucking jizz. I want to cum now. Literally, dude. I was laughing thinking about i like the way she dances i'm gonna come oh i'm gonna get a hooker it all culminates in you getting a hooker in the dominican republic like i can't get hard because i ate too much your whole work life centers around you once a year getting a hooker in the dominican republic

and like ah shit i'm gonna call my mom. I'm fucking going to get tested. Why would I eat her hair? I actually had a, I thought of a show recently. That made me think of, I want to do a show. I don't know. I wonder if anyone's ever done this. Probably have. Where it's almost like a black mirror set up.

Where it's set up like a normal pilot. So it's like about, you know, say it's a guy on a vacation. You know, the sense is simulated and gets in a horrible situation over there. Dies at either the end of the first season or dies at the end of the first episode. And you're like, what the fuck am I going to do? What is this going to be about? And then it picks up with someone who he briefly interacted with. So maybe that guy's story goes on two or three episodes and he dies. So you're watching a story of someone who's literally about...

I guess Final Destination kind of is like that. But it would be an ongoing story of people... Yeah, but they know they're going to die. They die they know this is about a story about a person who and then he wasn't just going to a casino sitting there you would watch yeah you'd watch the first three episodes and that person dies like what the fuck is this about and then you just pick up with someone he interacted with all right and then that person dies and by the end i was doing a whole pilot would be cool or a whole season because then you're in the season this guy dies like what the fuck's the next season about it's about another person you're like is this guy gonna die

and then you and then slowly it's like four episodes and that guy you're like what the fuck and then finally you catch on being like I'm watching a dude

who's about to die and you don't know how it's gonna happen yeah it could go on for like six episodes you never know when it's coming

that'd be pretty tight I like it I think it'd be pretty fun how are they dying just freak accidents all kinds of wild ways so you would it would be

it would be like people in different countries someone that interacted with like a tourist and i would follow them back to america and something fucked up would happen over there all right or like there is someone in there it would just be fucking i don't know i think it'd be pretty fun i like it tuning in every sunday night like someone's gonna fucking die and then they don't you watch the episode you're like oh they lived oh fuck it a fun night just a guy having a fun night yeah it's coming dude it'd be pretty i think it'd be pretty fun yeah that'd be good i like it i'm about it pitch it i'll pitch it i told you bro i don't turn it into a million i don't have hollywood's ear anymore i had hollywood's ear for a week week. Bitch it, dude.

Fuck, man. So we're at 58, bruh. Nice, dude. What else is going on? What's going on with you? What's going on? Nothing. Just doing gay stand-up. How's stand-up been?

It's been good. That's what's up. Being sad helps stand-up a lot. You've been a sad boy. Being a sad boy helps stand-up immensely. So what are you even going in? It's like, meh. Just going in and being like, this is going to suck, gonna suck dude fuck all these people and then you get on stage and

you're like things are good like you feel happy you start crushing yeah then you're crushing the like i was telling the i was telling this joke and this lady in the i've been opening with the special olympics joke hell yeah strong open yeah it's a fun open and then to just like people instantly get upset like right when you get on stage so it's like oh you said oh my god because i was i was sad so you just you're just passing it to people my grandma died fucking baby girl moved fucking sisters going through chemo god damn bro thing a lot of horrible shit and like so i'm going into these rooms like i literally don't care which is so good for stand-up that is pretty. It's as powerful as it gets in stand-up to literally be like, it doesn't matter. I can't bomb because I don't care.

So you're telling me you're channeling just, I would say, what would constitute as immense life pain. Yes. And then making people laugh at that. Yes. You're a fucking pig, dude. You're a brute. If there's a lady in front that's upset, just be like, you fucking sad?

Yeah, I'm sorry. Did that upset you? Oh, that's so funny. Yo, are you fucking triggered? Are you a fucking libtard? Just being mean to people. That's so funny. Yeah.

Also, shame on someone for going to a fucking comedy show and being like, this is the worst thing that's so funny yeah yeah so that's been funny also shame on someone for going to a fucking comedy show and being like this is the worst thing that's ever happened yeah I'm like do you see where I'm standing

yeah like this is a joke yeah this is not real like I'm obviously this is the reason I'm saying it is because of you

what percentage would you say I mean I could kind of say no it's low it's very low the percentage of spoil sports is very low it is low

especially when you walk out and say something fucked up immediately oh that's so funny I mean, I could kind of say. No, it's low. It's very low. The percentage of spoiled sports is very low. It is low. Especially when you walk out and say something fucked up immediately. Oh, that's so funny. That's so funny. Because then it's clear what you're trying to do. You're trying to fucking bother people. So they don't get bothered. Hilarious. Yeah.

And most people are enjoying this immensely. Yeah. And it helps so much if somebody visibly, especially if they're up front, is upset. It seems to be the case. So the rest of the audience is like, ah. So it's like a laugh inside of a laugh. Yeah it's very fun god damn it so that's been fun stand-up's been fun i've been cutting back on the boozing at the because i was drinking at because i do the stand every fucking night yeah so it's like dude it's like fucking the best food and free beer like every night it's tough and then you have to wait like two hours

in between sets or like an hour what are you gonna do besides what am i gonna do besides drink and fucking pig out crush some za and fucking like at the end of the night i'd be like i'd order it i'd be like i didn't drink that much get a tab it's like 12 bud lights i'm like jesus christ dude it's funny you're like shadow boxing in the corner between sets with two slices of pizza. Yeah, like this place is going to kill me. You're fucking doing 100 chopstick snaps repetitions. No, no, no. No, no, no.

What? You don't use chopsticks, bro? No, no, no. I don't appropriate. You can't even. Yo, you don't. My bad. My bad.

I'm sorry for suggesting you would appropriate. I use a fork. So in terms of like culture appropriation in food, where do you draw the line? Eating different foods or do you research the culture before you die? I research the origin of every food and make sure. I got Ancestry.com and I only eat food from those regions that my ancestors came from. That's what's up, dude. Yeah.

So what's your diet looking like? Root vegetables. Coors Light. And wings. those regions that my ancestors came from that's what's up yeah so what's your diet looking like root vegetables light wings moldy barley yeah i make sure the british confiscate most of my food so i'm not culturally appropriating that is a weird one is that uh that's something that kind of like that was like as near as that was as close as the 1800s no wasn't it, it was the mid-1800s. Mid-1800s. And that was one that if you're an Irish guy, you're like, fuck the British. Everyone's like, okay, dude. Yeah, whatever. Get over it, bro.

Well, I told you I was reading that white trash book. Oh, yeah. And the whole book is like, hey, white trash had it really bad. You can't go out and tell people about the book. No. Because people are like, oh, white people were the book no because people like uh wait oh white people were slaves too it's like yes yes you know that you know historically yes but i'm not gonna say exactly well you know the term caucasian came from the caucus mountains the women of the caucus

mountains when they were uh so when i think the turks i believe enslaved the fair-skinned women of the caucus mountains they would portray them as like these like they were like that was a fucking hot thing to add to your harem harem yeah and that was caucasian skin to bear that's what they said like i'm reading a guy's memoir right now and he talked about how caucasian came from yeah the term for what's denoted as white supremacy came from a time when white people were literally enslaved and idealized sexually. They were made to be like,

damn, look at this hot white bitch. I wonder if... These hot white bitches have so much attitude. I wonder if dudes with a harem of sex slaves from different regions go through... You know how when you're watching porn, you'll go through different phases? For sure.

I'm into pregnant chicks right now. Yeah, for sure. I only jerk off to black porn now. Dude, enter Prince Andrew. Yeah, true. He's like, you know what I'm into right chicks right now I only jerk off to black porn Dude, enter Prince Andrew He's like, you know what I'm into right now? Young snooze, I haven't really got off of it That's kind of been the best one I've found Kind of stuck on it

Yeah, they have real life porn, dude That's what's going on They don't click We're peasants, we have to watch They're like, you know what I like to do right now? Yeah, or you can just watch it in a room Like, you know, we're peasants. We have to watch. Yeah. They have real, they're like, you know what I'd like to do right now? Yeah. Or you can just watch it in a room. Yeah, you can just sit.

You can just watch people fuck. They can kind of jerk off wherever they want. That's what happens. They can just go anywhere. Someone puts a crown on your head and you're like, yes. Yes. I can jerk off anywhere now. I can come wherever now.

Yes. Yeah, there was those rules they used to have where they could come down and just fuck your daughter on her wedding night. Yeah, prima nocta. And like, you say you're Prince Andrew. That's the worst thing in the fucking world.

Yeah, you're hearing your uncle be like, dude, one time I went down the hill and like fucked all those wives down there and you're like, what?

That was so much fun. I want to do that. I can't do anything right now. All I can do is I have to find a stupid fucking island just to fuck kids. This sucks.

Yeah, the white trash book though is fucking, it fucking good so far. I won't read it. I'll do what I do with every book and read the first quarter of it. You're like, fuck, what's that guy's name on the YouTube commercials? Tai Lopez. Pretty much. That's his thing.

He's like, yeah, just read. Also, though, I watched another guy in an interview where he's like, the idea of completing books is like an ego mission. He's like, just read them. When you're onto something else, read something else. If you're interested, just take little bits like the idea of completing books is like a it's like an ego mission he's like just read them when you're onto something else read something else and yeah just take you know little bits from the idea being like i have to finish this he's like you can if you want yeah it's yeah i mean i'm not like finishing anything out of like i need to fucking well that's a lot of people who say like i finish books it's like okay yeah cool but uh here's a gold star bro the lady that wrote it it's pretty funny it's it's very interesting the way is a lady right yeah yeah some broad just talk the

white trash it's funny they are funny white trash is funny yeah man it's like it's a class of people that just cannot improve no there's nothing well dude that's the thing too like when uh when people always talk about that they're like you know whenever when they you know people the camp of people who would say that like success predominantly if not totally comes from people's skin color it's like explain the kensington white trash that's like a literally a whole other like setup you're like all right how come that why couldn't they cash in that stuff because these guys are fucked up right now they're like visibly poor they could be in a tuxedo and i could see them like oh you're poor i can literally tell that face i can tell from your facial structure yes you're like you come from that stock you come from the poorest of the

poor yeah you literally your ancestors were in the stocks at a certain point they're like fuck the queen they're like all right go to fucking america you loser a queen that would be funny to find out they were like the oldest families in america imagine if they were the real rulers dude that's the real that's what the book's talking about what is how the fucking white trash got here really oh they did they were here first yeah they're supposed to farm the land and then die yeah, and then they're like alright We got thank God we got rid of all these stupid orphans now We can go over there and like do it else we have yeah that like The first the introduction of the book is about how like we like look at the pilgrims and like Jamestown and all that stuff is

Like good cool things and it's like no these were really really shitty people that england was like we we just got to get rid of like our homeless yep and like the the new world like america was dog shit you don't want to come there's animals you've never seen it's like there's fucking bears we gotta fight bears who's gonna fight fucking bears just send over all the drunks we have. Be like, all right, you guys set up a cabin if you can. Build a house, die, and then somebody nice is going to move in. It was Survivor, dude. It really was.

They had real life Survivor. They just sent over the shittiest. And then some of the shittiest survived. They did. Some of the shitty ones made it. It's a fucking wonder. And now they live in Kensington. And just do heroin outside of Wawa. Hey, dude. Now they the shitty ones made it. It's a fucking wonder. And now they live in Kensington and just do heroin outside of Wawa.

Hey, dude. Now they're taking on that bear. Oh, for sure. It's a new grizzly. It's in their DNA to take on the worst thing imaginable and just suffer through it. Well, that was blast one. And then there was all the uprisings that led to all the swells of all the other populations. They like dude we're sign us up we're yeah we're going to but yeah it's really cool no and like the story about pocahontas was pretty sick oh yeah just how she she was like an 11 year old like slave oh yeah

they totally dispelled that whole like the disney notion and the disney notion is so fun they like you know of course they had to you can't make a disney movie of like a tiny shitty little girl yeah because these the people this tribe wasn't like buxom gorgeous women yeah it was like a little tiny like and the guy she married which i think was rolf it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't they say john smith am i right or am i wrong or they say he might be a fictionalized character. No, he's real. He is a real person. John Smith's real. He was like a fucking mercenary who...

Wasn't it in fashion to completely lie about your autobiography or something back then? Oh, yeah. And John Smith would lie. Yeah, John Smith was a liar. He was a notable liar. He'd be like, this is what I fucking did, dude. I'd ball out. Dude, I might do that.

Just write a wild autobiography and then just wait a couple hundred years. About're the man yeah like yo did you ever hear about this guy uh this guy conquered russia or something but yeah i think rolf married i think pocahontas which i think they also said might have been a white lady she might have been like originally one of the shitty people they sent over and she got like stolen from a tribe gotcha or a tribe abducted her yeah and she just grew up like with them that makes sense i don't know no i remember hearing that too but it was also like he he wasn't it wasn't like a love story he was just like this was like a political move for us in the tribe yeah he had to take down Pocahontas. He had to bang an 11-year-old. Oh, my God.

Yeah. But it's just waves of shitty people coming here. Pretty much. Rules. Dude, I'm telling you, it's pretty tight. It's pretty tight. But again, that's not the historical narrative, bro. But that's how everything ever is.

It's like the pyramids. It's like anything great, like building America. It's like you just throw waves of people at it. Yeah. And they're like, all right, let these people go fucking fight everything and die. And then we'll come in. Yeah. And we're just going to throw people at this tirelessly until they build it.

They're doing it on the guitar right now. Yeah. We're going to enslave people, make them do stuff. And then it's going to look awesome. We got the World Cup coming. I don't know how the fuck we're going to build 90s oh here we go they'll get it done we're gonna throw slaves at it we can just throw slaves at it yeah yeah pretty sick yeah man it's uh i hope you read more of that book it's really yeah you're gonna like it because it goes all the way up into like present day nice yeah you'll see what the trash is up to trash has been

fucking kicking around. Trash is pissed, dude. It gets real into the, it basically gets in the real end of the story of class. Like it often goes, yeah, no. Yeah,

it blames the British for the classism. Yeah. Which I don't know. I, just, it's annoying every time where it's like, this is where this came from. Yeah.

It's like, bro, classism, that gets in everything. It's everywhere, bro, classism, it's in everything. It's everywhere, yeah. It's in human instinct. Well, they go into the big black-white divide, how a lot of that was white trash.

Yeah, white trash is terrible. Nah, we're like second, second. And they're like, nah, dude. They're like, fuck, this is bullshit. I mean, that's how it always, yeah, that's like how the Irish and black people didn't get along. All the Irish in the north were like, don't free the slaves. We're going to take our derbs. We're free the slaves. We gotta take our derbs.

We gotta come up here and take our derbs. We wanna work in the factory for no money. Yeah, dude. Isn't that fucking crazy? Well, they're also escaping starvation,

so they're just kind of like, what the fuck are you guys crying about? Yeah, what's everyone crying? What are you crying about over here? You get a meal every three days. You guys get gruel every three days? Button it up. The streets are paved with gold.

There's more gruel. There's so much gruel to be had here. Let's switch the page, bro. Yeah, let's page. Yeah, what you got? What do you got to say to the motherfucking masses? Before we switch, let me look up some dates. So talk for a second.

I'm thinking about copping a whip, dude. Ooh, what you going to get? Get a test, bro. Get a you gonna get uh get a test bro get a tesla dude i'm looking at the future they're releasing a new one that's apparently pretty affordable really they're saying they're coming out with one that's gonna be well i have no credit dude self-drive a motherfucking test. Damn. You're about to have credit. Should I self-drive to Poughkeepsie? Laugh it up. November 30th. December 13th and 14th. Worcester.

Worcester, Mass. Dude, I go to only white trash towns. I'm still laughing about the self-driving trucks, and they're still going to be going up the obstacle courses. There's just a guy fucking jerking off at the wheel like, oh, fuck yeah. Going up the, when you lose control ramp. Going off at the wheel like, oh, fuck yeah. Going up the, when you lose control ramp.

Going on a rock and he's like, fuck yeah. It's a guy throwing ropes out the window. December 19th through the 21st, goodnights, Raleigh, North Carolina. That'll be sick. I'll be there protesting it, go ahead. Please do. 26th, 27th, 28th of December,

McGuby's Joke House, dude. Christmas time, bro. January 2nd and 3rd. Key West. What? Yeah, a little Key West flauta. You're going to like that. January 4th, Miami.

9th, 10th, 11th, Buffalo. That's a fucking big swing. Ooh, that's a, yeah. January 4th is Miami. A week later, I'll be in Buffalo in January. 16, 17, 18th of January, Stress Factory in New Jersey. 23rd, 24th, 25th, Comics, Mohegan Sun in Connecticut.

30th through February 1st, Stress Factory in Bridgeport. All right. You got it on the site? Yeah, it's all on shanemgillis.com, Stress Factory in Bridgeport. All right. You got it on the site? Yeah. It's all on ShaneMGillis.com, this dumb site I made. Nah, don't forget your Christian middle name, bro. That's what's up.

Shane Michael, yeah. And I should include my confirmation name. You should, dude. Shane MS Gillis. Damn, your fucking confirmation name is MS Secret Pod, dude. MS Secret Pod. MS Secret Pod. Oh, my God, dude. All right uh we'll switch over to the

page switch the page i got to the patreon i gotta tell you about what else i was up to one more thing what uh give us five stars on fucking itunes yeah i forgot we've never said that yeah give us i haven't said that in a while and i've been checking the rankings and a lot of a lot of our enemies are giving us one stars are they fucking stars are dropping because of our enemies that's pretty tight actually i kind of like that yeah but i mean not that it matters at all for sure but just me personally i like checking the itunes top 200 i heard that seeing if we're on yeah i mean fight you must see where we're at fight this evil show come out in numbers and just let them know that's give us five stars

let them know that's the vocal minority let's go