Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - The Presidents - Part Three (feat. Louis C.K.)

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod louisck.com The Presidents - Part Three. The final chapter will be available later today. Please enjoy.

Here we go. Now, this is either game. Well, we'll decide later. This is you're either on the patreon or this is free on YouTube, okay? We're we left off at LBJ so LBJ so LBJ First of all, there's an interesting tie in a person that ties together JFK LBJ and Nixon is it my mother's cut. It's your mother's No, there are some parts of history your mother's kind did not figure into there's only a few But the place the person who's sort of the that combines these three figures in an interesting way Is Jackie Jackie oh because

First of all, obviously she's connected to JFK because he fucked her. Yeah But There's great first of all and I've been there like every presidential library not not everyone I've been to a lot and Nixon's has this really weird artifact. They always have these artifacts like the the actual written. So there's these notes It's a letter written by Jackie. Oh to Nixon right after JFK was shot like it's one of the first things she did and It's like on hotel stationery

And it's just in her hand and it's like many it's many pieces like little notepad pieces She sat down and wrote a letter to Richard Nixon because the thing with all these families is they all hung out together So even if they were political enemies like if if Kennedy and Nixon are debating Pat Nixon and yeah, and and what and what's her name and and Jackie hung out that they were all their families Travels again. What's that? His wife's name was Pat Patricia Nixon. Was she cute? I Mean, I don't would you fucker, you know ladies back then. Yeah. Yeah. She was a lady. Yeah hair It just sucks. He's you know the other cool guy has he was he was he was desperately in love with him

He's got Pat. Yeah. Yeah, he really loved her very much Patricia the thing of the story about her that I love is that Nixon She was a librarian There's a lot of stories about presidents that have this in their in their history He went to the library and there was this beautiful Patricia young librarian and He would go in there and talk to her, you know Been looking for the You know Boswell's history of biography how to live with a huge cock. Yes

Yes, I just don't know how to do it And one day he went in there and he said I just came to tell you that someday. I'm gonna marry And Patricia said no, you're not Yeah, I Have a boyfriend. He was okay. Who's his boyfriend? She goes he lives in this town over, you know, and he goes Well, how are you getting there for you going on a date? She was yeah, I have a date with him tonight She goes, well, how are you getting there? She goes, I'm taking a bus because no, I'll drive. That's unsafe So he would drive her to her dates. Whoa, like he would look after her. He's like you're gonna marry me someday

And so he's just sort of like was her friend and he looked after her and then he wore her down Same thing with Truman and Bessie Bessie he wrote long letters to that we have now and in one of the letters He wrote and said I want to marry you. She wrote back and said geez Harry. I'm just not Like you that way and he wrote back and he said I just want to thank you for not making fun of me when I asked you So let's please remain friends and they were friends for years and then he started telling us like you know She started looking at herself in the mirror and I'm not getting any younger Yeah, and he's then this dude might be something so I don't I don't know what went into it

They were who we were just looking at a guy one of them We were I was watching a thing on presidents before we left and it's another it is a theme where they like try to get With a lady and they're like no and then they're like, I'm just gonna be the fucking press I'm gonna be the best guy. Yeah, it's what happened in the do you when you saw the movie vice? It's like my favorite part of the movie with Cheney He like I'm we'll get to them getting a new life getting like a DUI and getting a fight He's a fuck up and then she's like you're a loser Yeah, I'm gonna leave you and he's like I'll become the greatest man of all time

Well, she made him that yeah made him that but I'll get it because I met that lady. So so Wait, what was the story of the letter Jackie sent so Jackie? When John was dead and she still got his blood on her pink dress She wanted to take it off was nice fucking dress. She's like, I'm not gonna wear this for one fucking day. She kept it on You know the thing that she had his brains in her hand Yeah, she walked up to somebody in the operating room and said does anybody what does anybody need anything? It's like a key to the president's brain in her. Yeah, she's like I found this screw on the ground Yeah, you guys miss some and they're like, oh

That isn't she's like is that important they're like, yeah, it's pretty important that's is And they're she's like you want to put it back in there like now you go ahead and eat it It's true True you ever seen the autopsy photos in the background you can see here Stuff on there Sweetmeats, you know, or whatever you call it. So She wrote I just reminds me and I this isn't presidential But this is one of the funniest things Nick Topolo ever said to me

I know I made fun of him in the last one. So I want to I want to praise him. He's I love Yeah, it's like my brother we used to live together and I was telling him about this thing that I had heard about The thing about Nick Topolo is that you say and you tell him about something and he finds the joke So the thing I told him about was that there's somewhere in Asia They they they love monkey brains and the best way to enjoy monkey brains is when they're still alive So what there's these tables with little like skull-shaped holes in them Yeah, and they put the monkey up there and they cut the top of it and you just cut it open and you eat it Stylish fork and I said the cynic and he's pretended being one of those guys like I'm sending my back. It's retarded

This was retarded I want my money back Okay, so No, so Jackie jack's dead and Jackie writes Nixon. Yeah, and she says listen I know that you're gonna charge ahead and try to be president like I'm thinking about you right now With my husband dead, you're the first person I thought of you and Pat and your family And I think about what we've all sacrificed of ourselves in order to achieve these great historical moments and in order to be president

And I lost my husband to this he this killed him and I don't want this to happen to you You're a good man. You've got a good family. She called it. I'm just saying this is me saying now Cool it and take what you got and retire and be a family man because it's gonna kill you too. Yeah, she wrote this to him. Wow Great moment. Wow now there's another thing when LBJ was president. He was very much in love with Jackie. He just loved everyone loved Jackie. Yeah, so LBJ Loved Jackie and there's a tape you can hear Of him calling Jackie in the milk from the White House drunk

In the middle of the night you hear you hear her like Hello And he's like Jackie Jackie God damn, I love you Jackie and you hear her go. Mr. President Oh, what a betrayal dude. It's just beautiful. It's just beautiful Jackie. I Don't know what to do anymore. Mr. President. She's like, you know in a nice nightgown Anyway, did you watch that Jackie that movie recently with I couldn't I as soon as I heard of doing the accent

I'm like, yeah, it's just too much. See I never heard Jackie. I don't like biopics. I don't like really much. Yeah, not usually I'm trying but anyway. Yeah LBJ was a I mean, I told you this story last time we were after we stopped But the two stories I I also read and saw in his library one was that a Mexican woman who lived in his home district in texas Her husband died

He was killed in world war two killed in action and his coffin was sent back to her hometown And nobody would bury it because he's Mexican None of the undertakers none of the none of the cemeteries would take his body because they're only white people And so she wrote to lbj who was at the time her senator and she said is there anything you can do? I can't bury my war hero husband, you know, he's just a regular fucking corporal who got shot you know And so they have this letter and then you see his reply He says I really sorry to inform you that I can't I can't force those people to do something

They don't want to do and I know it's not enough But all I can do is bury your husband in Arlington Cemetery with full honors So that guy's in Arlington. So that's the kind of guy And that's a quiet story of his you know what I mean? This is the he was a he was a a principled guy He was a fucked up guy. He's weird um but that's something he did and uh Was he I asked you this before I think but was he like

Because he got the civil rights thing going right? Yeah, he did he did everything He used jfk's death to pass everything on civil rights. It was always his intention. He didn't he was a integrationist guy. He was a guy who wanted an integration. He lived in texas and he was a southern Democrat So he was pragmatic about it. See big guy. He was big, right? Yeah. He I think he was yeah He was stuck. I think of him as big. He was a farm guy. He was a real fucking country Guy and he did stuff like he had these dogs and he would lift his dogs by the ears and show the press Look at my dogs and everybody's like what the fuck are you doing?

I guess that's my dog. Is there anything more unsettling when someone grips their dog up like that? Yeah, I've never even heard of that. Well, just even grabbing it by the back of the neck By the ear. He was like a hound and he held it by the ear. Look at my dog Dude, it's not a puppy and someone grabs it by the back of the neck. It's like dude. Stop and also he used to make a lot of his um phone calls from the toilet And he would have meetings on the toilet like a lie. He made a lot of big decisions sitting on the toilet And they talked to him. Mr. President. What do you want to do about korea? And he's like, I don't give a goddamn or whatever, you know

And he and so vietnam and all that stuff and the thing about lbj that to me is like an important thing Is that he was an empathetic president now where he felt when other people felt okay? This is my problem with some other presidents um Is that they don't have that they don't actually eat there is a famous photograph you can find to him where um The one of his I think it was his son-in-law. I think it was chuck Todd was a Who ended up being a senator from virginia turned into a real douche later, but

He sent a tape of he was a lieutenant In the army in vietnam and lieutenants were just like having to take platoons out. Yeah, just get them all massacred So he just sent a reel-to-reel tape to his father-in-law the president describing A bloody day in vietnam and how many guys he lost and how bad it was And the there's a photograph of lbj listening to this tape and he's just got his glasses off and he's just Sobbing because he knows that he's He's in charge of us. Yes to some extent. He still thought it was the right or he couldn't he couldn't undo it I don't know I think but it made him feel that's the conspiracies though

Well, it's my I have my uncle is a very retired. He's in the 80s, but he was a Commander in the navy and he was a seabed kind of instruction battalion. He's an engineer And they went to vietnam early when we were still it was called uh, yeah They were just setting advisors and so he was sent there to build for them And then and he got a bunch he went around To his navy friends and talked them into going to vietnam for this venture it was not a war yet And then it turned into a war under his feet and everybody he all the fucking guys he brought over there got killed

and uh And then he went back came back to the states and went had to tell all their you know Apologize to families. So like there's a lot of guys who were like in those command positions was just you know, they're in a war Yeah, but so that was uh, so lbj Ran so he he Took over for jack and then he ran in 64. Yeah, I believe he did and he beat who

He's these are the guys I never I don't know who lbj's vice president was he might have lost to nixon is first No No, he he only ran once for president In 64 and technically he served from 63 to 69. Yeah, so 64. Who did he beat? Who was the democrat? Who was the republican nominee because nixon sat it out nixon didn't run this time gold water Gold water very gold very gold water. Okay, so um But then when it got to be 68

This is another he did tough things lbj like I took he took it on the chin I mean he vietnam and civil rights are two of the biggest I mean, that's huge huge conflicts. Yeah, and then he did something that no president has I don't think I mean some presidents Maybe you've done but the way he did was very dramatic Which was that in 68? He just knew he didn't have the confidence of the people anymore He knew that he had to face it was a very nixonian moment He had to face that He had lost

The confidence of the people and that he wasn't popular anymore and he was everything was fucked And so he made this speech where he said I I I uh Um, I will not seek nor will I accept my party's nomination for a second term as president like he made he declared I'm not running a second time. That's fucking rare. Yeah, that's rare. Most guys just do it because you're supposed to When I worked at a conan at conan's show early I was I was a writer for conan the first two years We did one bit that I love it was my favorite bit we ever did it was just new inventions It was just weird inventions. So one of them and it was one that I wrote

It was a machine that you it's a big belt that you wear and then there's a probe in your ass and when you fart So you're not embarrassed by the smell. I mean by the sound Yeah, it Instead of your fart you hear that speech So we had a guy like there are any farts in your ear. I will not seek nor shall I accept Anyway, so lbj didn't run again and Um in 68 and then that's when everything fell apart bob bobby ran

and was Running away with the nomination. Yeah, and then he got shot in california. Yeah replaced by my govern who nobody liked and um Nixon ran against My govern how close to the election did bobby get shot? Uh, it's a good question. It was california primary

He was there for the to he had been he'd been winning everything. Yeah. Oh, so they I mean, it was in the primaries. It was in the primaries. Yeah, and Um, was the name of the guy who shot him was like something sir hands sir hands sir hands Yes, and there's a picture of you know famous picture of him laying there and uh, there was Yeah, so if you look at the picture, there's a guy Holding him. You see that guy holding his head. Yeah, he's a bus boy A just mexican bus boy working in a hotel And it was in the kitchen like that. He had just made a speech He was coming through just to back up for a second with bobby because bobby was an incredible guy

bobby had a fluid mind of A crackling brain like he was like john was uh, you know moved slow And made politic careful moves and bobby was passionate You know When my mother when I when I first got an iphone first time i'd ever like held that thing I took it to my mother's house and she didn't my mother was a computer programmer But this item was like she's like it's a phone and I go name any

image or Moment it recorded moment. That's what she went with. What's that and that's the one she went with Just no, let me finish I said name any recorded moment in history. Yeah And she said When martin luther king was killed bobby kennedy was about to have a rally give a speech at a rally of all black people's a black audience like in some city

And he got the news And he had to tell the audience That mlk had been assassinated And he off the cuff Said some things about it and gave a speech which was very moving and I just went You know fucking rfk mlk. Yeah and played it for her and she was like she was like what is happening Yeah, that's awesome. I thought well, I mean I was close If I guess I thought your mom was gonna be like if I could see anything in the world right now

It would be him. Show me him dead on the ground. So he's so he's show me that mother I'd like to see it with blood on his face So he was shot coming out of the through the they were taking him through the kitchen Um sarahan sarahan shoots him And this bus boy is the one who catches him. It just was in a melee of people so a guy who had nothing to do with anything Just like saying He's got And he looks down at him and only he never spoke about it

Like he wouldn't press used to ask him He just refused to talk about it because he felt the moment was very personal But he finally I think I think I might be dead But I I saw an interview with him where he said what happened, which is that bobby said, um He just asked him. Do you have a rosary? He knew he would because he's fucking mexican He said do you have a rosary and he did And they gave him a rosary and he basically took his last rights Holy she gave bobby a shot at a catholic. It's a little death

damn sir hand sir hand Went to prison. I think he's still alive. I think he's still in prison So he shows up in a great book by the guy who invented profiling in the fbi the guy who invented like, you know criminal profile okay, uh Richard Kessler something like that This guy wrote this but he was the first guy in the fbi to come up with the idea of

Of figuring out what why killers do what they do. They didn't do that the guy for the mind hunter show. Yeah Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He he invented this thing. Yes, so And the book is great because it the book starts with a a guy who murdered A serial killer who killed somebody in sanford like in sacramento somewhere in some neighborhood killed a lady went in her house Killed a lady and then killed another lady the next day And so they they flew this guy in who had become famous for this. He took one look at the murder scene He said you're looking for a white man in his 40s who has a big beard He's living in his car. It's filled with newspapers and trash from mcdonald's

and uh If you don't catch him, he's gonna do this every day And they went and found the guy exactly on that So then when that guy was caught He did the next part of his job Which is was he interviewed him to find out because these guys love talking and he asked him All the questions so they understand these guys better and he asked the guy How did you pick your victims? That's a key thing that's in and finding out how they're gonna pick the next one and he said

Um, I would just go to any house and if the door was unlocked. I'd kill anybody in there So it wasn't like she looked like my mom And so he said i'm putting this in the first chapter to just tell you just lock your you're gonna just lock your doors Please lock your door. Yeah, okay, so that's why I just wanted to just ruin the profiling thing Yes, he's like, oh no, I don't know. I just if the door is unlocked. What are you talking about? If you're dumb, I'll kill you. But anyway, all that I know i'm getting away from president's point is that guy uh Once he learned this thing of like talking to the guys

He realized we have all the most notorious killers in federal prisons I want to go talk to them and he couldn't get permission because everyone in the fbi said that's macabre and it's Interproperate So then he realized why am I asking it? Just go to a federal prison show him my he's like a gold fbi badge So the first guy he talked to was serhan serhan He shows up and he just says i want to see him And serhan serhan comes he's like the kitchen's unlocked He said the kitchen's unlocked. I didn't know the fuck that guy was so he didn't ask

I don't know if he asked him that question But he talked to serhan serhan for a couple hours and it was a dead end. He just talked to he rambled And he talked about his conspiracy what he thought was you know why he did it He has a weird story that he thinks why he did it and he didn't learn anything and he thought maybe this isn't a good idea He was about to give up on the science of this and then right before serhan left He stopped and he took off his shirt because he works out in prison and he goes hey What do you think is serhan now and he showed his muscles and he went like oh, he's fucking vain He wants people to look at him

And that unlocked that's you know, I mean, yeah, of course so like that Hannibal lector thing. What does he do? You know he kills women. No, that's incidental. What is the point of the guy? So anyway, that's serhan serhan kill robert kennedy serhan serhan's gotta be dead, right? When was those he still goes out for parole every few years and I gotta let him out Oh, that's he's got he's got a couple years, dude. Yeah The best is the guy who shot. Oh, well, I guess we'll get to him Well, mike sweeney comedian did the best joke ever he he wrote for conan for years

But he was a great stand-up and i'm just gonna i'm saying his name. So I think I can steal his joke mike sweeney He used to do a joke about her serhan serhan At his first parole hearing he said I think if robert kennedy was alive today He would say that I should be let go and he goes boy just about of all the bad luck The one guy who would have stuck up for him turns out. It's the guy he shot Anyway, serhan serhan kills robert kennedy And democrats go to the fucking convention in chicago richard daily and the fucking yippies show and then we had another another time like this Far way out left yippies

Making a noise and Wanting it to be a riot at the democratic national convention not the republican They were like nixon it was another time like that that it was like Yeah, we all know nixon's a dick, but let's fuck with the democrats Let's go after the the liberal side of things and uh, they were uh, there was gas You know, there's horses running over people insane So it's like the democrats came across as this fucking chaotic bunch. Yep

They end up with mcgovern and nobody gives a fuck It's just as bad sort of like fucking the democrats represent chaos And drugs and all this stuff and they and there was no there wasn't a thing of like let's get together behind mcgovern to beat nixon That just was not gonna happen So nixon fucking Finally after all those years of his long life in politics having been vice president for fucking eisenhower having been Senator and during the mccarthy hearings all this he ends up being president of the united states 960 and he gets the people

He does the moral majority You know the people the or what do you call them the silent majority the silent majority and the guys that You know hard hats who hated hippies and he counted on that And uh, it won and he won. Yeah, it's coming again. We're doing the same thing same thing exact same thing same thing So then you get to nixon through four years and he gets to 72 now I have a question was the press gay back then like they are now Were they like totally like well, it was a different bunch. You got like dan rather and fucking, you know, uh

You know, I mean i'm forgetting all these guys names. It was never this partisan though, right? No, because there was there was the cbs news Which was walter cronkite And there was uh nbc and And abc there was that was the news was you chose between three dudes And there was uh david brinkley and they had to meet the press. They had some stuff They even still have now. Yeah, but it was the only the press was centralized There wasn't this sort of like the the written press was pretty out there

But the tv news was what everybody was really following and so everyone watched the same news and uh, then we argued so it was different and and you never had a sense that the press to answer your question No, they really weren't gay shane I don't agree with using gay that way He's even making me sound gay because i'm so upset with him my god

so Well, like cronkite cronkite was a picture funny to actually be gay when you're being gay It's the best like to be mad about something get a poster for that. Stop it. Stop it Especially this angry gay stop it shame What's more terrifying that would be if you had two gay dads there would have been one Who's like shame? Just don't make him mad shame. What the fuck are you saying to him? shame

They could be the most terrible. That's the most scary getting yelled at By your gay dad, but I knew a gate. I knew a number of gate. I knew a number of gay dads and two moms Uh when I was raising my kids a lot of their friends had gay dads and I saw every it's the same as any other stereotype There are many kinds of heterosexual parents There are soft hearted useless. Yeah heterosexual parents There are distracted narcissistic I think I can change my kids life parents that heterosexuals and there's just fucking like Got it gets it

Doing the tough work heterosexual parents and it's the same in my experience with gay moms and gay dads I know gay dads who are just like hard tack fucking. I'm not I'm not fucking this up Yeah, but also I know it's his life that like I've known so many kinds But they all sound like this But anyway Not really kick the ball Go Well, that's what it is straight dad sound like. Yeah, but so um gay dads are great

Gay dads are great every single one of them. Yeah Walter Cronkite has two great moments that show you what the press was back then There's the moon landing And there's the and there's kennedy getting killed He's in again if you're watching this on youtube you can see both of these So the moon landing is just you they show the fucking footage of neil Touching down which didn't happen. It's they didn't never land on them And then they cut to Cronkite. Oh, it's what's the same. What's your boy?

That was cubrick. He did the moon landing. Kubrick did. Yeah, that's why they gave him all the lenses. Yeah, use the lenses for Barry Lyndon it's true He Barry Lyndon is a great movie by Stanley Kubrick and it takes place in like the 1600s And he wanted it to look like that so he used no electric lights But he needed lenses that drink a huge amount of light and he got NASA to give him Moon lenses. So he did do the moon landing Yes, nobody's ever been on the moon

Nobody's ever been on the moon 100% you see all the there's some clues in the shining. Huh? There's clues about the moon. Yeah, I don't believe this I think they would But No, they I think I think Somebody was trying to argue that and like some chinese astronomy They found There's they satellite images of where people landed. Yes. Why would we help cover this? By the way, they went up like 20 times

It's not even that big a deal, but um But uh, so Cronkite when they landed on the moon, you just cut to him and he's got this big Childish grin on his face. He's just he doesn't say anything He doesn't say this is a marvelous moment. He just reports well and neil has landed A man has landed on the moon. He says the facts, but he's got a bit you can see the feeling But he doesn't say it And then the other moment that it's just devastating is when

Kennedy dies he says, uh, uh, he gets the report he gets it In his hand and he says, uh, president kenny has died um He died at 12 o'clock and he and he takes off his glasses to look at the clock above him because he's reading To look at the clock above him and says and that's three o'clock Eastern standard time he just reports that kennedy has died and reports the time And he looks at his local clock and then he puts his glasses back on and he goes sports

And he just swallows Vice president linden johnson is to be sworn and he just and there's this moment between Where he's taking in that the president of the united states is dead, which without even thinking about who it was was just horrible And then that uh And then he probably knew him, you know, so but that was his he didn't Grandstand, you know, you watch the news now and they're just like, you know, oh, and they're just feeling shit And it's horrible. They are not supposed to you know, like I when I worked for letterman We the yankees were in the world series and I got caught caught up in it and because I was my new yorker

I'm a boston guy, but I just got caught up in it. So I got to we took larry bud melman This character the letterman had to to the game and interviewed the players And then I got to be in the press box during the game and me and a friend of mine was a writer We're sitting there. Uh, watch the game and we're cheering When the yankees hit and then we look and everyone's staring at it's like, what the fuck are you doing? You don't cheer in the press box Like it was like we're all fans of something but yeah, shut the fuck up. I think that shit's gone. I think that's all really But anyway, so, uh

Nixon serves also one more thing about candy dude. Yeah, why go to the moon? That's probably that's probably my favorite speech We go we do things. Yeah. Yeah, we choose to go to the moon Not because it is easy, but because it is hard because it's hard. Yes And he also in one of his speeches about them. He had a great job in there He goes, why does rice play texas? That gets me every time. I'm just like, dude. Why are they playing? They get fucking killed every year. That's right. And they're still doing it. Yes Uh, kennedy also had a great

Parable he used to tell he there's a lot of speeches that are lost because a lot of these guys they didn't record every speech But one of his uh, he liked telling jokes about irish guys So did uh, reagan. They had that in common. They both used i like patty jokes. Yeah So he tells a story in uh during his moon Um mission went trying to get the money in the the country behind the moon And he talks about these three irish guys walking along the leaves of whatever, you know We're just crossing the the great green grasses of ireland And then they get to a wall stone wall

And they go should we climb the wall? Or should we go turn back and go home? And one of them takes his friend's hat off his head and throws it over the wall and says, I guess we're going So that was part of kennedy's that it's not that good. That's cool. So, uh, and then nixon's president when they land on them And there's a in his in his uh, um library in yorba linda california Where he was born and raised in his and the little house that he was born in is there at the library um

There's a phone which is the phone that he talked to the moon On it's the white they took the white house phone That he made the you know, it's just a fucking beige phone with a big white button and a big red hole button I don't know if you put them on holes But he you know talked to you know, well, it's just wonderful that you're up you're up on the moon You're up there and jack is dead Nothing could stop me now. Yeah, no So, yeah, so he uh, he was president when that happened and uh

And so 68 turns into the 72 and now the country's really fucking changing Um, everything's in color now the tv's in color. Everything's you know hippies are Starting to get old. They're starting to wash it out a little. Yes. What's sadder than that two things happen to the hippies First of all, they killed a bunch of them killed a bunch of their leaders um But they also got they they the drugs started to take a bad effect. They they went from Mind liberating pot to fucking, you know heroin and cocaine. Yeah dark drugs. They became dark dark evil hippies Yes, and then some of them uh grew up and had families wanted to be rich

So and there's very another thing you can find on youtube that's great Are the debates between abby hoffman and uh ruben fuck he was uh Jane fond his husband And he was a congressman eventually, but he was one of the one of the jerry ruben. I think it's okay

He was one of the yippies. He's one of the he was a wicked radical and he used to be one of those guys We're not taking his shit anymore and the president come here and kiss my fucking ass And abby hoffman had the best congressman. Yes, abby hoffman was even abby hoffman said the n word constantly during speech During uh speeches because he would just be with a bullhorn and talking about fuck you And he was like really inappropriate and he was uh, he was really a lit up nut abby hoffman um Him and jerry ruben were both they were like the east coast west coast hippies

Later jerry ruben became a huge um Capitalist he became a yuppie that's where the word term yuppie came from And the two of them debated they did they traveled together to different universities and they would debate their generation's new predicaments of do we keep the fight going of trying to get out of wars and trying to be democrats and trying to liberate this country And uh, the other ones were like we got to grow up and we got and and what ruben was saying was we need a candidate We need to win an election. So we need to go to the center And we need to talk to big business and small business and we need to talk about being a practical

Because that's the liberal dream and this became clinton. This is where clinton came from that From the hippies saying, okay, we're not going to just protest our whole lives and beat these losers At one point they had a huge amount of power. Yeah, and uh, vietnam they had a lot of power There's this they had they held this vigil around the uh, Lincoln memorial and i mean think of the time because mlk gave the speech there and they fucking shot the guy and I remember being at the Lincoln memorial with my kids and saying that this spot the steps of the Lincoln memorial is a huge

It's a place you can really understand american history from Because you look that way you see washington and that was the creation of our country, right? And then you see the capital which was the the growth of this legislator, but there's washington Which was the creation of the country in revolution and then there was Lincoln who was who kept it together as a union You know who who that was the second step Yeah, we're our own country, but also even if millions die. We need to be a union. Okay That's what Lincoln did and then who stood here and made this place even

Important for a new generation the mlk stood there and there was a sea of people and he and he had to fight for inside of that union That's Lincoln preserved that washington started. He said we we have to fight for our rights in here He was the first one to say there's a civil way to fight for to to push for our rights legally and through Quiet, you know through nonviolent resistance. So this is a huge place fire me up, dude, right? This is fucking cool, man. Incredibly romantic history And there's another way to look at all this apparently, but this is the way that I was taught it and I see it again as a story as a story

So but then after after he'd been shot and all that became rubble like that All that was pushed aside and now that we're in a fucking melee war Nixon's president it feels like forever. It just feels like next Nixon's never not going to be president He was a psychotic. He's taking drugs. He's drinking a lot. He's taught. He was so racist He was like there's tapes of him saying About it's about italians. He's like I don't like italians. They smell different. He says that on tape And he was right. Well, you know depends on if they've been cooking but uh, so nixon

so the cat the the mall and the memorial is just besieged by uh strung out hippies students and veterans Veterans who came home from the war and hate the war now and have run run kovic And all these guys in wheelchairs go. What the fuck did I do this for? Yeah, this certainly is in world war two What are we winning here? When is this we're gonna end and they it was just a mess And in the middle of all that in the middle of the night one night nixon got in his limo

And drove into the middle of that. He went to the Lincoln Memorial. Do you know this? No, there's footage of this too He was looking out his window We were fucking kids. Yeah, they know But it was breaking his heart because even though he had the hard hats And even though he had the silent majority just like now Nobody wants the silent majority people want the cool people to like them twitter is like 39 people And 60 000 bots. It's very few people. It's a bunch of kids

That are fighting and saying this extremist shit and the huge vast amount of the of the liberal part of this Country does is not into any of that But nobody's satisfied with just knowing That the average person gets it and that when you really deal with human beings on a real level They're gonna do the right thing. I believe I have a lot of confidence in human Um An american, you know, just the way we are as people but

these folks that Yell and scream they really people Want yeah want them to like them and so nixon even though he he was winning by landslide everywhere He's looking out that window and he's looking at those kids because it's your kids It's like if everybody likes you but your kids think you're a piece of shit. It just eats at you. It just destroys you And so he got in the limousine like And he drove into the middle of the protesters and he got out and he talked to them And it's just this footage of him like talking he's in his stupid suit

And they're like man, you don't get you know, man You're just like you're like an imperialist piece of shit, man. He's like, well, I understand your point But I mean is there do you just think we just give up? I mean what happened to this country and they they talked they really talked. I don't know what What it did to him he did get us out of that war you ever see it Yeah, nixon did pull us out of that war now. He did it in a way that is horrible Which is that he bombed Cambodia Cambodia and this is the story that I heard is that He had this very specific strategy, which was he starts bombing Cambodia, which came out of nowhere. It was like what?

And then he led it but wasn't camp Cambodia is where they had the the Ho Chi Minh trail, right? I don't know. I think it was I think they knew They could use camp like they were using these trails in other countries. I believe but still it was a country We had no right. Yeah, we were not at war with Cambodia But we were bombing Cambodia as if it would be like if people were escaping to canada and we're like so fuck it Or if canadiens were at war and some of them escaped into the states and whatever the other country was just started bombing Fucking wisconsin like dude. You can't just do that And on so many people getting killed and nixon when he did is he

Let it be leaked that no one could get in touch with him like that They were his aides were trying to tell him to stop bombing and that he cut off communication And was that he he wanted to think he'd gone cuckoo and that's how they got the vietnamese table and And got a piece. It wasn't a good piece. We they left. Oh, he faked that he was nuts. That's what I heard Um, that's good. I don't know. Well, that's that's how you hear google. I don't know But it's another thing about the vietnam like like eisenhower when he left was like the military industrial complex That was that was vietnam. Yes, that was and that got us to now I was like, oh now we pulled out of afghanistan where these guys are gonna get their money

Hey, 33 billion to ukraine. Like it's exactly what that's the other side You have your like political left that has more power than they do people right because they're captivating people's like anxiety But then on the other right you have all these people that have that are really they're they're doing fucked up things That uh that also are untouchables Um, and there are only a few people with just a little bit of interest a little bit of money And so they're making all this crazy stuff happen. I don't know that's jumping ahead. I don't know much about it. But anyway But so nixon, um But it seems to me if you speak out against it you get shot in the head or water gated

Yes, which is kind of what's happened. I could be wrong. Yes, that seems to be the underlying theme Like he got out of that war and then I they couldn't shoot him in the head. I don't believe in conspiracies, but what I do believe is that there is a shift in They're in the hive mind of america So that if certain people that get in a position where they're in trouble like nixon did The next thing that the next person he goes to is going to be like nah, man Like you don't know where it's going to come from. Yeah, like this story

I heard about caligula. Caligula was a terrible leader who was an absolute leader because everybody behind him had built The emperor ship of rome into a huge Thing you couldn't touch the emperor. It was like a god. Yeah, and caligula made himself a god and then a crazy guy took He was insane. Caligula was insane and um, did he have his horse and senator was that he made a horse his horse and senator That's pretty sick and uh, so uh Caligula one of the emperor's Duties each day is to give the watchword to the head of the army

And the watchword is like the code word for the whole roman army For the for the next week or what? Yeah, so he somebody asks him. What do you want? to be the code today And he and it was the head of the army this guy was like his bodyguard And he thought it was funny. So he'd say give us a kiss. You want everybody to have to say give us a kiss And so that all the roman guards would have to say each other Give me a kiss in order to uh, in order to like pass one guard to the next And it was that guy that killed him

Yeah, that guard was that guard who was just like Fucking Shived him like the fucking american me Um It is funny when those guys do get killed. Yeah, any time a dictator gets killed I mean it's sad. It's always sad to what like gadoffy was sad. It was really sad. Gadoffy was sad. Yeah, he's just With the blood. Yeah. Saddam was saddam. He was screaming. Some guys were screaming. He looks at one of them and he goes shut up It's true. You see him come in and he's grumpy. He's like, this is such bullshit

He's not like that's what the everyone's fantasies. He's like, oh, I wish I had but he just comes in and some guy screams And he goes shut up. It's just a room of dudes yelling kick the bench away and he he must have been so pissed on 9 11 Yeah, he probably was watching tv just like oh you guys that's gonna be me Okay, so um Nixon I don't know shit about ford or carter. Okay, so so nixon Uh resigns I will resign in the presidency. I don't even understand watergate So watergate was uh, it started as a very simple thing

Which was there's some guys uh that nixon had a uh committee of the committee to re-elect the president Which is creep that was creep was literally their acronym. So creep sent um some burglars to the democratic national committee's office, which was in watergate hotel watergate hotel is in like a complex of office buildings and um, they stole some papers from there and um If this kind of shit was happening a lot, but nixon had nixon was on drugs paranoid had a list of enemies

He just went he did his thing came apart is really what happened. Yeah, he these guys took the Took some papers It wasn't a big deal But he immediately tried to control it because he was so he was like was quashing this we're killing this right Yeah, and uh somebody said well that we got this guy he if he talks we're all fucked And nixon says what does he want and they have them on tape? Somebody says he he'll do it for a million dollars and he says can we can we get the million? And it's nixon saying that was like the smoking gun was like we'll give him a million if you want

If you're president, you can't say that out loud. It's crazy, but he had too much could he he wasn't delegating enough and so one by one they the investigative reporters at the time were really diligent and they turned against a lot of pressure They turned Whitten guy after guy after guy down until finally they got the guys close to him and and And he didn't have he knew is the guy they were going to pay is that deep throat?

Yes, that's the well no that no no no Is that just deep throat is a guy who was in the System who just knew who saw everything that was going on okay and was leaking it It's just one of the dumb burglars one of the guys and there was this guy g gordon liddy involved who was a weird cia Guy who used to put his finger over a candle and burn it and Fuckin psyching that cool. Yeah Liddy was a great guy to look up g gordon liddy so nixon um

Knew that if they impeached him he they had the votes It's that that's a time where things were I want to go back because there's a guy I remembered now um which is uh One of my city not countrymen, but citymen from boston is uh is tip o'neill Tip o'neill was the speaker of the house. Yeah for many many years and he was speaker I think during kennedy. I mean nixon, but he was during kennedy. So he was a boston um politician and so was kennedy and

um There was a there's just going to tell you this one story about tip o'neill. So so tip was uh Worked with kennedy um in boston for years and there was some shifty guy named like, you know patty old patty o'brien Some shifty irish men who would every time they had like a big, uh, you know banquet or something He'd always get get in there and be like, hey, how you doing tip? He's like, how does patty o'brien getting everything?

and uh He was at kennedy's inaugural tip and he was speaker of the house. So he was really close to the front Yeah, but patty o'brien was like had better seats than him and he saw kennedy Walking up to take his speech and patty like threw his hand up for it and he saw kennedy look at him And and like a year later He was watching it was at some big event for kennedy and they were showing Footage from him and not getting taking the oath of office And he asked kennedy. What were you thinking when you were becoming the president?

And he said I gotta be honest with you. I was thinking how the hell did patty o'brien get those seats That's awesome tip when he wrote a book called man of the house That's fucking so entertaining because it covers all these guys that he served with okay Nixon so he's he's Gerald Ford is a really weird president. Yeah, because he didn't um Uh

Want to be president ever nixon's vice president. He wasn't even just nixon's vice president. He was the senate majority leader Oh, he was just a senator from michigan with no interest in being a fucking president Spiral agnew and he got ousted. He got thrown out because he was a fucking crook. Yeah, he was with him They got rid of agnew and they're like just get for our ford. I think they just ford just filled in he had known He was like what I'm vice president. I don't be fucking vice president. I know where to and yes I don't know where suddenly he's vice president and now suddenly he's the fucking president So now he's the president of the fucking republican party And and and nixon this is just a massive trauma

Um to the country and I remember it. I remember nixon and watergate was like a huge part of my youth and when I grew up when I was a kid I lived in mexico and From when I was I know I know I know Like i'm aware that's like not Pennsylvania crushes mexico. Yes

You guys are dying to get to pa, dude. Yes We occasionally go down there. Yes and get sunburned. That's right. All right. So you're down in mexico. I'm in mexico um and uh I moved we I was a baby one of my parents moved to mexico my dad's mexican and then My parents when I was about seven Moved back moved to boston outside of boston

And I remember coming to america. I remember living my first memories were in mexico in the 70s So you think mexico's bad down the 70s was like My mom only made carnation milk with powder because the milk was always rotten Because there was no refrigeration was just not good It was a you know, it was a hot place. It was also beautiful My memories are very beautiful from mexico and still isla. It's a wonderful country. Yeah, of course Which is and and the thing is they work really hard there, but their government is Crazy corrupt and always has been like mexico could be japan with different organizations

Like that's how hard they work and for how many hours But so I lived in mexico when I was a kid And then we moved to america and coming to america which was like this shiny country full of cheerful people Where all the floors are straight like it's right angles air conditioning and just a cleanness and an uh, um In an honesty and the idea that when they told me about like the president like that It's a democracy mexico was a democracy, but everybody knew was corrupt

And I got obsessed with the idea of the president of the united states where it became a thing to me and the president at the time was nixon and um I cut a picture out of him of him out of the paper and I put it taped it up next to my bed. Yes. I love I was like little kid I was so about Richard nixon and I wrote a letter to my abuelita my grandma Yeah, and I sent her a picture of nixon said this is the president united states

He's the greatest man grace man in the country. He's so cool. He's the best I didn't know a single thing about And he had this serious face and I had a dream. It's the first dream. I remember I don't know if you remember dreams from when you were a kid at all Yeah, I had a dream that you still remember I'm not sure that I do So I remember one dream I was in I the my bedroom was in the front of our house

So you looked out at the front of our house and I was asleep and it was like a sunday morning And I heard a band like a marching band And I looked outside and it was nixon Like walking up my street just no no spectators Yeah, just him walking up with followed by a marching band And I came out on the front yard. I had this walkway and he got down on one knee and he said louis And I ran into his arms Isn't that crazy

I've never told anybody that I've never told anybody that in my life And so Oh The idea of his joy because nixon was such a miserable man that his joyful side was very rare There's only one time I've ever seen it on film and it's when he's playing piano He's in a tuxedo and I think he's at his daughter's wedding and he was a concert pianist. He was very good And he's playing piano when he plays some big crescendo and he's got this big dumb grin on his face And I think maybe I had seen that because that's the only that grin every time I see it. I'm in that dream

So but my parents saw that I had these pictures of them next to my bed and they were like, he's not a good He's not because watergate was happening And every night my parents were sitting in front of the tv There's a little fucking color tv watching Watergate watching the hearings and it was like And you're like, how's it going? Yeah I'm like fucking head musky. Fuck you. They're like, he's crying. He's on tv crying

Yeah, and then I watched I remember watching live. Is it two things? I remember they were like national events. I remember Walter Cronkite saying that america and russia had just done something called apollo soyuz There was we had apollo spacecrafts going around and they had soyuz capsules and one night they met Like they saw each other. It was an accident And they thought what if we could dock? So they went home and they started this project. Let's dock. This is back in the 70s in the middle of the cold war So they built a A dock and they had to they had to do it together

The russian and the american space program and then they went up in two separate rockets found each other in the middle of space And docked and then went drank vodka and shook hands Now twice and Walter Cronkite told me on tells the only one up watching tv and he said It uh, the apollo soyuz capsules are flying over north america And if it's clear where you are In the northeast if you look up you might see them passing over ahead And I went outside and I laid on my uh on the grass for hours and I saw he said it would be a red light and a white light Uh blinking together

And uh, you see it saw it. Oh man So that and watching nixon resign help home for you I would the apollo soyuz thing. I mean still yeah, it lives for me And nixon's resignation was just like a depressing Uh destroying sad fucked up thing. It was just like what now Like he was the there was like an unbroken chain. Yeah From george washington to him Like if you go back like lbj notwithstanding and everyone was proud of what he did with civil rights or whatever

There was an unbroken chain even if you're fucking democrat republican Whig democrat or whatever rig wig republic all of those it was still the us president And then this guy fucking dropped the motherfucking ball. It's crazy In disgrace he left the office and left a mess of just like this is all bullshit now This is just all fucking crooked bullshit What is the point and the economy was tanking and then here's jerald ford was just to kind of like oval headed simple dude Didn't um, he made little moves. He handled it perfectly. I mean he did one thing that was extremely

Extremely unpopular and fucked up which is that he pardoned richard nixon It was the first thing he did everyone wanted to go after nixon and keep Investigating and catch him and send him to jail. He could have gone to prison for what he did and Ford Knew that if he pardoned him he would never win an election. There was no way he was going to be Reelected yeah, because everyone would just say well, you're you guys are just fucking dirty. You're just pardoning each other But he knew it was the right thing to do. We needed to get there. He says he said our national nightmare

Needs to end And he ended it. He dead-ended the investigations. He said nixie, you know, and then there is these this I remember Steve martin who was the comedian then He was my first favorite comedian and cosby really was cross be was first as a kid I listened to cosby records constantly But steve martin was the first person that made me think I could be a comedian because he was so weird But he did a bit where during that time because they're they shot They show these footage of nixon on the on the beach in california after he went home

And steve martin says, uh, I feel bad for nixon He goes, I know you're not supposed to because he did wrong But every time I see him on the beach with his big old shorts on And his metal detector he just picture of nixon just alone on the beach And uh, you know nixon stayed in the in the he he did these interviews with david frost the frost nixon's interviews And he opened up about himself a lot and he stayed available to every president after him

Would call on him. He was a great resource Fascinating guy and when patricia died he saw him in her funeral just crying his eyes out Um, very human guy nixon very showed his feelings and he wasn't cool And he wasn't hip and he wasn't like, you know, I feel your pain. Yeah, clinton He just was an open sore and I think he that's he gave that and I said that in the last year, but so Yeah, ford pardoned him and then squeaky from tried to kill him She shot at him. Did you know that he's a Woman named squeaky from I've never done this the first time I'm hearing the squeaky from was in the manson family

Squeaky from, you know, the manson family, you know, that is right. Yes, charles man. She was one of his Manson was Yeah, like uh, the women who killed and the men who killed uh, yeah, what's it? You know, um, roman plansky's wife and unborn child um Squeaky from found a way to get to him and she took a shot at him with a rifle and there was one guy some cop who Hit the rifle away Saved his life and that guy was gay

Just a piece of news. Nice. I always combined that guy in my head to the guy On the plane uh flight 93 It was a gay rugby player. It was one of the guys who said let's roll. Let's let's roll. Yeah Okay, so That got gay people are all heroes gay dads 93 got shot down What's that flight 93 got blown up with a missile

No, I know I know yeah, it was the missile that that it went on after and it hit the moon It kept going through it hit the plane So, uh Ford carters so Ford runs uh with bob dole is the yeah I only know bob dole. Just norm mcdonald That's it. I don't know. That's it. There's a great documentary about presidential debates It's one of the best documents like a pbs documentary about presidential debates and they got to they talked to a lot of the guys The real guys it's like pbs or something

bob dole debated walter mondale who was uh jimmy carters guy his vice president and they asked mondale about this moment. They're talking about War and military and and bob dole said well the democrats or they love war It was uh world war two. That was a democrat war And he said that and then they cut to mondale going like this And he said that was and they cut to mondale in the in the in the documentary

Six o'clock Is that real country? Yeah You gotta know it's six o'clock. Is it the purge? What is this? They'd play or they said This is terrifying We're not coming back to the woods I drank too much coffee So walter mondale and norm mcdonald are having this so in the in he's debating that norm mcdonald and uh

Dole says this is a dead or dead world war two. That was a democrat war And mondale, um Says in the documentary. I knew we were gonna win. That was it. That was that was the moment that won the election So that's apparently it used to be like that. It used to be one gaff Was that was it like fucking wasn't it quail couldn't spell something? Yes, but dean dean Bye meanwhile Heart uh with a woman on his knee No, what was that? What was that gary heart was supposed to be the president of the united states

He was a kennedy like Beautiful looking guy. He was a democrat from i don't remember what state gary heart was from But he was beloved and then they found a picture of him on a yacht in bimini with a girl on his knee that wasn't his wife See, uh, that was the end of him But so And bob dole by the way was a war hero Yeah, he was in just in some horrible hill in europe

And he was one of those guys were when a medic found him He just took some of his blood and put an m on his Forehead Which means morphine and all that is is to tell anybody coming by drug him. He's dead. Just give him more morphine He's not gonna make it. I don't have any on me So yeah, and then they sent bob dole home home to uh

To kansas And his father get up rosen get up get up there get up there His father owned a drugstore And they would just take him to the drugstore and he was just like this and they'd just lean him against the He and his let him sit in the corner And nobody thought he could hear because he looked so fucked up And uh some neighbor pointed right at him Um

Some neighbor sitting at the counter sitting at the uh ice cream counter the drugstore pointed a dole and said to his friend Um, I would kill myself if that was me Oh, no, and dole heard this And it was the most pitiful moment in his life And it was the moment that turned it turned him around Because he realized I gotta I gotta start working out Like I gotta get I can't I'm so close somebody just said that if they were me they would kill themselves

Yeah, and he thought he felt so sorry for himself But the next thought was it's time for me to start and he became fucking almost twice became present um I met dole I've met some weird people. I met him. I was a writer at conan And dole was a guest and I remember thinking at the time fuck bob dole. He's the one guy I wouldn't I would be rude to him You know like you fantasize. Yeah, I wouldn't even be nice to that guy I would be rude to that guy if I met him and I was standing in the where the

Outside the studio and the elevators opened and out comes bob dole with no entourage like a picture He was he was at the time. He was like the fucking senate majority leader and He came out alone hold he held a pen in his right hand always because his right hand was um Was uh crippled and that's why it was shake with his left Yeah, because he didn't want you to reach for his right and he didn't want you to be embarrassed So he held a pen there So and you'd see it so that's thoughtful. So you'd ask for his left hand. Yes Isn't that the worst when you shake someone's hand they have like one sorry. It worlds were two

So you go well now I feel yes. Yeah So he walks out of the elevator and I'm standing there and he just walks right up to me and he goes Hey, I'm bob dole and I go. Yeah, you don't have to there's a prude. I'll get him I'll help you. I hope you don't stop at me Like I'm telling him to just keep walking. Yeah, he goes. Well, what's your name? My name is louis. He goes. What are you? What are you doing? I go? I'm a writer. I'm a comedy writer That's hard boy. That's hard. That's a hard job trying to be funny. That's a damn hard job How'd you come? How'd you come to that? How'd you come to that? And I go?

Stand up comedy. Oh that guy that's boy. That's even harder. Yeah, come I gotta really respect you He just stood there and talked to me And uh, and I said, where are you coming from? He goes, well, I just had to give his speech at this thing and Um, you know, luckily, um, I'm in I went got to go early because I'm in the d's because my name Dole, you know what I mean? Just made a few cheap jokes and he let the fucking conversation have an arc and then he went like Uh, will you tell me who I should speak to like he did the and I he what I introduced into the producer and I was like, I love Bob Dole I love Bob Dole. He's my favorite guy in the world. All right

Uh, carter wins and carter was this the first truly liberal president like he was such a Literally minded president jack kennedy had liberal politics But he was also about being the first catholic, you know first syrish catholic president in the united states And he was about the his dad bought him the election just bought with a suitcase of money and he was a powerful fucking guy from a from a from legacy of of of uh smugglers and um

But jack jimmy carter was a farmer a peanut farmer From georgia who rose to be governor of georgia because he was a conscientious guy and he got involved in local politics And he made his way up. He was like a he was like john adams He was just a guy who who saw problems saw ways to solve them and he was really about helping people. He was really about I um That that was his heart. I'm saying right and uh and his brother billy So the saddest thing in the world is billy carter because billy was a joke in america when I was a kid

He was a just a fun. They had billy beer was a they had a brand of beer named after him And he died alcohol poisoning. Jesus. He was just a known drunk Yes, it was just a known drunk idiot that everybody made fun of and I saw one interview with jimmy Where he talked about billy. He was very bitter about it. He said billy was a very wise Um smart and gentle soul who never drank his whole life. He just wasn't a drinker And when I became president it killed him because people went down. They got interested in who's the president's brother Interviewing him and started interviewing him and he was why he had these little country wisdom and people liked it So they started printing his things

Yeah, and then he started going on he started going on speaking tours And he gets starts getting used by people I could use billy carter and he's doing speeches And he's on the road and he starts drinking because that's the lifestyle and actually helps you get through it And he became an alcoholic and he says I mean in jimmy said in this Interview like he they kill my brother these people kill my brother um Can't do the road without boots No, it's hard, but you you need to learn how to do it. You need you're gonna die

I like to be billy. How old was billy carter when he died? How old was billy carter jinks me we'll get let me know when like no jinx you warn you there's a fucking difference Fucking idiot jinx. Good jinx. It's like you go to a doctor He's like you're gonna get a pancreas or cancer if you don't change your diet and you're like, what are you jinxing me? That's a bit of a jinx No, it's not it's a fucking useful. I mean, I've never even heard of pancreatic cancer. You just brought that into my world Bill Hicks died of pancreatic cancer Billy carter was 51 when he died. Okay. How old are you 34?

You've got how many years between where you do the math look up the math on you on google Google what's the how much is 51 minus 17 you got 17 years left unless you stop drinking on the road 17 is pretty good Okay, if that's how many you want I'm 54 You die younger than me okay Jimmy Carter everybody always says here's how liberal Jimmy Carter everybody said he sucked what everybody says jimmy carter

Yes, that's the way they talk about folks. It's just a stamp. Yeah jimmy carter did a few really crazy Okay, first of all, they had the fucking okay, so there was uh um in san francisco harvey milk was running for uh, uh mayor and or for Whatever and they had this thing prop two or something. It was this anti-gay bill in california It was a huge like hot button fucking like stay away from it kind of thing and it was like whatever it was like. Yes no on two meant um, you know stop this game a anti-gay thing and there's this great footage of jimmy carter at a rally

And he gives a speech and then he goes off and then someone gets to him because he anyone No on two you got to go no on two like he came out heavy for gay rights, which was big back then. Yeah So he's president. I mean they were like Hillary was voting against it in yes, 2013. That's right. Obama till fucking yeah The last second 13. Yes, or it was either 11. No, obama was like, I don't think two Men and then they passed the thing. It was like, oh, no My daughter said it's okay. Uh, I don't want those fruits getting married. Yeah So jimmy carter way ahead of the game a great thing about jimmy carter is that he I'd always heard this

That there's two weird things about him. One is that he caught a fucking foul a fly ball at a game Which is really rare. Yeah, you're the president It was at the time he was a form president the odds of the former president catching a fucking it's insane Yeah, there's something weird about jimmy carter because also I always heard this thing that he saw ufo And That he'll tell you if you ask him, but he doesn't like talk about it, but he will tell you And so there's this movie out now called phenomenon. Not the not the genre bolter thing

It's a documentary about ufo's and I don't know how real it is. Yeah, it's just it's all kinds of stories It comes across really real So did Close encounters. I mean, I don't know, you know, you cinema can create a lot of illusions. So I don't know But it was compelling But the most compelling thing because it's you talk to a guy. He said what he said, right? Yeah So in the extras not in the movie, but if you watch the extras, I don't know why this isn't in the movie But there's some kid in a wheelchair like, you know, a blowing on it

One of those guys like this and how and you have to listen wait while he goes Mr. President Can I ask you a question one of those guys? Went to a book signing of jimmy carter and you see jimmy This is footage jimmy's signing books and then they bring over a wheelchair guy And he says can I ask you a question and he wasn't taking questions But he's like sure because he's a wheelchair which means he's a saint only only really great people are in wheelchairs There's no assholes in wheelchairs. It doesn't exist

So he asks jimmy carter is it true that you Saw ufo and jimmy carter goes Yes And he asks him what was it like and he said it was It's exactly how they're described. Yeah, it's like it was a strange pill shaped thing It was floating It not making any sound and then it just vanished. It just took off And he said did you tell

When you became president, did you tell them the state department? He said, yeah, and they said just don't worry about it Don't even worry about it, dude. Yes jimmy carter also put on a sweater and he made a speech where he said yes We have an oil crisis, but please just wear a sweater turn the heat down He's like we got it. We got to change the way we live people don't like to be told that in america No, he's like we got to change the way we live there's less oil And we're having to blow up countries in the middle east because of the oil. It's a problem It's just it's the first energy crisis and there was gas lines around the block

People couldn't get a fucking tank of gas. It's not americans off americans It's not america's fault. I mean that's a tale as old as time when a world leader is like even they're doing it now with the inflation They're like, yeah, yeah, just uh, don't eat as much It's like you guys are eating Yes, I agree with that. That's the part. That's the hard part. It's like you fuckers Just crank the handle. It's like let them eat cake. It's the same thing people aren't gonna start moving slower You're not gonna take the human race and say everybody's Yeah, every all of us all of us you have to do it to if the world

China yeah, india. I know you're trying to like get out of like poverty I know you're trying to like turn on air conditioning so you don't get malaria every five minutes Which is a little yeah, put a little little So it's not it's just inevitable. I think the problem is that you got you got your nerds. This is american history nerds and cowboys Nerds figure shit out cowboys make shit happen But there's a divide now climate denial goes two ways The cowboys are pretending the shit's not changing and of course it's changing

And the nerds are pretending that folks can just that it's that it's a morality is like we can just all Just quiet down turn the lights off. It's just not gonna happen If they all came to the table and said yes, this is happening But we're not gonna slow down then the cowboys would fix the fucking they put there'd be a big vacuum cleaner Going yeah, people talking about terrifying Mars Do that here. I am I'm talking straight out of my ass. No, but I have no idea what I'm talking about here I have no idea my buddy Steve Gerber uninformed opinion Gerby's always talks about it where he's like I mean, it's not his opinion. He's just the first guy that brought it to me

It's like we need to burn the resources we have now to figure out how to fucking stop it Like we have we can't turn it down now, right? It's too late We need to work. Well, like I read a great interview with the guy in the wall street journal Let's try to fuck that up for Gerby's my best. No the guy and this guy in the wall street journal He's a he's a Pennsylvania guy who Is a big natural gas guy him and his brother sort of buying natural gas and they they're like the biggest guys And he's a big proponent for it as an environmentalist. He says he burns way cleaner and it's it's the road to these next things

He says you can't every time that you Regulate against natural gas you make people burn coal The other thing is do you know what the number the last time I looked the number four polluting industry in the whole world number four bitcoin No, bitcoin's big farming isn't farming number one. No number number four is uh the energy the the fucking um carbon from creating solar panels

Oh, no, because the chinese do it Very cheaply here to make a solar panel like the wafer It takes a huge amount of energy and because of the regulations here We make them very slowly and carefully making sure everybody's okay And it takes a long time and it's very expensive But the chinese just use coal and pour it and make these things They're super cheap and then we buy them and we're buying so many of them because of the because of obama's policy that it's uh Through the roof just yeah, it's killing the environment to make solar panels

It's you know, look a lawn musk. He makes electric cars. So you know how cap and trade works So cap and trade means that if you're an auto manufacturer You have lighted or making up numbers. Well, let's say you can put out 75 million tons Of car you can make cars that will create 75 million tons of carbon That's the cap Okay, now if you manage to make if you managed to actually get under 75 and you only put out 50 tons You can sell 25 tons To another car manufacturer

Okay, so a car manufacturer that's making 75 tons can actually make a hundred Because he bought your that way you just know that there's three manufacturers They're putting out 75 each and that's tolerable And so the way you keep them on there, it's an incentive You only put out 25 tons. Congratulations. You can sell that to gm and they can put out So a lot of musk cars have none They put out zero tons and they sell 100 of their to so they actually are Making other they're helping

More carbon going to the atmosphere and that's how they turn to profit. That's their biggest profit point I have no idea what i'm talking about. That's all right. I have no idea. Fuck it It's interesting