Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - The Presidents - Part Two (feat. Louis C.K.)

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod louisck.com Yo. The Presidents Part Two. Part three and four will be out tomorrow for free. Please enjoy. Support the show and get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code DRENCHED at https:// Manscaped.com. Support the show by going to sheathunderwear.com and use promo code DRENCHED to get 20% off your first order. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789- 7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat  (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/ /NJ/NY/ PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min. $5 deposit required. Eligibility restrictions apply. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.

Hello Welcome to part two of the presidents. I mean, this is crazy Matt Matt's unavailable. He had to attend to his family. So Yeah It's not I checked in on me. Okay. Everything's okay. There was I don't mean it seems sounds bad like medically It sounds like you know fight. No, there was no fight. Just so we're clear Let's start dude, let's start where we left off We're going right into it because we got a plow through these guys because they kind of suck

Yeah, these guys. I'm not interested at all. So just name them. So this is Rutherford B. Hayes. He's he destroyed He stopped Reconstruction me stop the slave. There's a lot of black people stuff So the reason he did that is because he was losing to a guy named Tilden in the in the election Yeah, South Carolina, Louisiana and Florida were the three southern states that still hadn't counted in the electoral college Yeah, the Republicans made a deal with the Democrats that said we'll remove federal troops from those states If you give them to Hayes and they did this after those civil war is over. Yeah, still having this fucking well That's because the KKK was

They were they were the real deal. They were fucking shit up So they had the federal troops down there, which actually kind of helped the Republicans get votes Because the black people were allowed to vote at this point They had the troops down there protecting them to get their votes and obviously That's that's what the guy said when the when the guy pitched the first guy pitched the name cook looks clan the leader was okay Okay, okay Yeah, it took him me had to warm up to it. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay? Okay? Republicans removed it basically he ended reconstruction Hayes didn't do much

But this is where this is actually important because this is kind of the end of Lowered presidential power quite a bit these guys kind of took a back step to Carnegie Rockefeller This is the rise of these capitalists Yeah, like now with the tech guys and we're still with the bezos and the And my Elon Musk Elon Musk. I'm sick. Oh my god What are you gonna do if he bought if well, he bought it, right? He bought Twitter you guys What are you gonna do he bought Twitter from those really great people that owned it? Like now, it's not gonna be democracy because the people I like before we're like the

Like a bunch of monks or something. They were yeah, they're a bunch of monks like they just knew everything Yeah, now you can talk it and he's a piece of shit Although I don't think Elon Musk. I don't think Trump's getting back on which is the only thing I wanted You don't know yet. You don't know who knows. Yeah, he could be being coy Which one Trump Trump he could be like, maybe I'll come back. Maybe I'll come back. Maybe I won't So this is this is a big phrase 1877 when those guys that the corporations started having more power than the federal government as soon as they took over fucking industrial north that plowed the south under and then it just became belching machines. Yeah, and

oil started yeah, and Fuck it. It's just there was no just steel Coal oil. Yeah, what year are we at? This is 1877. Okay, so no cars or anything But like really big horses horses got bigger They were like 10 feet wide horses when Hayes took over it rains Penn Railroad cut employee pay by 20% So right away fuckers. They were Amazon right away Amazon sons of bitches So there was strikes. Yeah, and then Hayes sent in federal troops to put down strikes So the government sided with the corporations obviously and they used you know, they went down and shot guys that were striking

That's real troops. You ever see never mind. I'm right. I'm just reacting to shit I don't know about this is what when people get excited and like make pop-off remarks like I've been the last two minutes It's because they actually don't know what they're talking about. Well, we don't I'm only hearing about it from you Yeah, but what are you looking at your phone? What a good way to put down a strike? Well, this is research. I did but that's all right Yeah, just you send in dudes to beat the shit out of the gas the strikers Just open fire on them on which industries the mostly mostly railroad and coal. Yeah, do you ever see Madden one? It's a great movie by John sales Nobody knows who he is anyone mm-hmm eight men out

About the white socks black socks. No, you know, I know about it. She was Joe Yeah, so he made a movie call I don't ski what Maya Lansky the Jews behind it I mean, he might have been Jewish He didn't do it because he was Jewish you think that's what he was mad about because he did it was the world series That's what Hitler was mad about. I think that might have been what he was pissed about about the black socks. Yeah, I Don't know 1880 Madden one so Madden one is a movie about the coal mining Strikes and these guys that are trying to make a union right and so there's a kid in it

Who's a preacher it's common thing back then in rural places that a child would be a preacher Yeah, touched child who just can really fucking rock Sam Kinnison was a preacher when he was a kid. No, yes Did you know that? No, Sam Kinnison was a preacher Before he was a Christ. Yes, and he did it Talk about Jesus Christ if you don't find Jesus Christ in your heart, you know You're one of those guys he does it in one of his specials He flashes into it for a moment. Wow, and they cut to his mother in the audience like this And he loves him as a comic. She loved him as a preacher

But it's the same energy. Okay, so kid preachers Like there will be blood, huh fucking. Yeah. Yeah, he Paul Daniel plays easy not even younger than that He's a teenager. Yeah, and he was the the spiritual leader of the town this little Pennsylvania where you're from Yeah, town of coal miners and there is some so some guys start to organize to make a union and the kid that the Churches which was common also the church was in on the union so they wanted to help the union so the They're planning a walkout or a strike or something So the company sent these two thugs fucking, you know guys with whiskey in their pocket

To go down there and go to the meeting to just eavesdrop on the plan So they're sitting in the back of the of the church Just waiting to hear what the plans are and the kid doesn't want them to know what the plan is So he tells it but biblical parable He tells a story from the Bible that clearly to anyone who knows the Bible Says what time and when yeah, how they're gonna do it. I don't know the Bible story But I guess it's a great moment because the guys in the back Don't hear it because they're heathens so they haven't had any faith

So the truth is right in front of them and they can't even hear it. It's a great great nice That's my only thing I'm rather to behave. That's good though So that's what yeah back then it was like this wicked But it's important for it's the through line of America Because once we were all kind of thrown into the same place Then it was this thing about the industrial rich the enormity all over the world too in England also With a Oliver twist and whatever and when Dickens was writing poor houses work houses That's how they did it over there and here we had a horrible version of the same thing three-year-old kids working

in mills and that against the the impossibility of capitalist structure and and people trying to organize and that that union organization was not a sort of liberal Ideal it was the people it was the working people. Yeah. Yeah, they had to do it. They had to they just needed leverage That's all they just needed capitalist leverage. They needed their part

In the capitalist scheme that you had that you couldn't just get some other guys if these guys wouldn't do it Yeah, right. This is 10 12 years after the Civil War. That's right. Have really guys were Veterans like they had been through hell. Yes, and now they're coming home and they're like actually we're gonna stop paying you guys as much Cuz yes, we're getting richer every Class of veterans has come home to total confusion and having no worth In the society that they protected every class of veterans again party Yeah, like all the guys the blacklisted guys in Hollywood These were all war veterans

These were all war heroes who came home and saw the country in tatters and saw it had some ideas about another system And they got thrown in prison for me. Anyway, whatever, but so yes, they So that then hey and also we were pushing west. Yeah So this is also like see these cities like the Northeast and places like Chicago were like churning out black smoke and Industry and in the West people were still gunfighting. Yeah, absolutely fighting each other with guns in the 1870s It would have still been it would have been the Indian towards the end of the Indian Wars Yes, I mean the the Comanche was still going wild like it was and it was all these American

Professional soldiers. Yeah who fought in the Civil War and some of them went west to fight the Indian Wars Yeah, and then some of them said fuck all this and just became gunfighters and use this Ability they had which is exactly the same. It's why in Japan. I don't know if you watch Kurosawa movies Like samurai movies. You need to you need to need to watch some things Clint Eastwood, yeah, okay Fistful of dollars. Yes fistful of dollars is a remake Okay, yes of a Japanese movie a black and white Japanese movie called your Jimbo This is not a hidden idea. This is a true. Yo Jimbo

Magnificent seven You saw it. Yes, I used to watch all those fucking okay So the magnificent seven is a remake. Yeah of this seven don't not like you know it You don't even know what I'm talking about well I'm trying to get through the fucking story if I'm being honest what nothing go ahead This is all has to do with president We got a plow through these. I know we're still at ease and we're talking about Japanese movies The seven samurai is or is

This magnificent seven is a remake of the seven samurai It's a total remake go watch these movies to me because the Japanese Mid I think it was called the medieval era It was the same as our West Because they had these wars with samurai and then all those Dynasties like broke up and it became just chaos and corrupted. They all became corrupt. Yeah, and so the samurai just wandered Hills called Ronan and they came swords for hire

Yeah, and so that was just exactly the same as gunman So these great Japanese movies about these swordsmen who were just out for hire and in these towns where there was no law We're precise perfect. I'm just saying that these kind of things happen all over the world Okay, so haze who came after hit fuck haze who came after haze Garfield 1880 now. This is a good one. Okay. This is a cool fact about him He could write Latin with one hand in Greek with the other Simultaneously and they were like this guy is gonna be he's smart enough He could be the guy to get us out because this is after he was another nerd. He's a nerd. He was a nerd

but this is after three straight duds This is after I can do that Johnson Grant 200 days in his office into office. He was on his way to a college reunion. He was at a DC rail I was reunion. He's going to a college reunion. Wow, this is Joe shots. He was gonna do beer bong. He's gonna go wild He was shot twice in the back by a guy named Charles Gato and Gato is a very interesting. I looked into him last night. He was a moron he was a traveling moron who

Thought that he had campaigned like a village idiot, but a traveling he just he would go fail in town to town and everyone hated him Failed doing what he for religious shit. He joined like a cult. They were like this guy fucking sucks Then he would be like I'm gonna start a paper for that cult in a different town It would fail and he would go to like Boston and yellow people. It didn't work You just go around fucking up and then he was in DC and he started trying to give speeches on behalf of Garfield So then when Garfield won he was like I did that I want to be the fucking ambassador to Paris and they were like, no, he was like, how about Vienna? Who are you so then he got angry and then he bought a gun, but he was kind of aware of the

He bought it was a bulldog revolver and it had he couldn't afford the ivy ivory handle Yeah, so the guy selling the gun was like I you can just I'll give you the one with the ivory handle And he's like this is gonna be in a museum Is it? Somebody lost it. There's a picture of it. Yeah, but he shot him twice and Then he had to get close to him think back then you can just walk walk up. There's no secret So you can just walk up behind him and he yelled like I'm here for Arthur who was the vice president

Chester Arthur. Yeah, he was like Chester Arthur is the real president because he's gonna he's gonna make me ambassador killed him Garfield died two months later from these wounds. So he's He's then the fourth guy. So he was the what he was the second guy to get killed in office This is after Lincoln. Yep. Second guy killed an office. Okay. Chester Arthur takes over doesn't do shit 1884 Now comes Grover Cleveland This is the first major media election Papers are now starting to be partisan

Cleveland Cleveland gets accused of having a kid out of wedlock James Blaine was a crook whatever Cleveland barely wins He hated the press one thing that's cool is he married a 21 year old Oh, yeah, it's pretty good Then he won the popular vote and lost the electoral to Benjamin Harrison his hot 21 year old wife said don't fucking move anything in the White House We're gonna be back in four years. Oh pretty hot Benjamin Harrison still around probably grandson of William Henry Harrison He didn't do anything. He actually did nothing. He would leave the office at noon every day and just go hunt Just go upstairs. Yeah, just hang out. Okay. So him and yeah, so this is still just a run of horrific presents

Thanks, all these guys think destroying we're marching through the 18 there are late 1800s 1893 Cleveland gets reelected. Yeah, people liked his hot daughter and now their new daughter is hot wife Yeah, and now their new daughter baby Ruth Okay, yeah, the candy bar. Yeah, but isn't that baby? No, I think it's named after their daughter You don't think it's named after Babe Ruth. Yeah, look that up Feels closer to true. Did they even have candy bars back then? Look man, you know, don't amount of holes, you know mountains named after your mother's What

Candy bar was named after Ruth Cleveland Okay, see if mounds was named after my mother's cunt. Okay, I mean, it's just sad. What if it says miss Shane? What if it says Mrs. CK? What if there's a twist? Maybe I'm projecting Could be That gets it. All right, but this is these guys are destroying the country unemployment's at 18 percent. Yeah, great There's a depression McKinley comes into office 1897. He did his campaign entirely from his front porch in Ohio

Yes, it's pretty funny. And he's the first Ohio guy, isn't he great? Thank you Grant is from Ohio, that's right But there was like a run of Ohio. Yeah, it's not straight through but there's a lot of Ohio all these guys So McKinley's from Ohio He was last president who served in the Civil War. He didn't want war everybody seemed to He his whole thing was cultivating good press. He was the first guy that seemed to master that. Yeah, he understood it because Cleveland before him Fucking hate it. So let's get to Teddy. Okay, because he's the only guy that I Important to say about McKinley. Yeah, I mean he started

He started the 1898 the Spanish Empire was falling Cuba was open. There's Cuban rebels He didn't want to but eventually got talked into it because guys like William Randolph Hearst The all the major media people were like, we got to go to war. Fuck that So he sent the USS Maine in the Cuba's port Somehow it exploded. No one knows how 250 guys died media Dominated war with Spain. That's that's where the remember the main all that shit comes from McKinley created the situation room in the White House. That was pretty tight so that they could

Huh? It's exciting stuff. Nice work This is a 10 week war. Yeah, the US fucks them up In in his thing he'd be annexed Puerto Rico in the Philippines also annexed Hawaii in 1898 1900 he wins the election this time with his vice president Teddy Roosevelt. Yes, and we can get into Teddy then So Teddy fascinating thing about Teddy first of all Teddy was born deformed. Yeah, his Lungs and his organs were too small for his chest cavity and His doctor told his father He's got to stay in bed and he'll probably die in his teens. Yeah, so he told Teddy

Well, they you weren't born with much of a body So you'll have to make your body and Teddy just became insane and yeah walked up the Matterhorn just walked up it Dude, he was a ball of insane energy. He would just do anything. Yeah, it's kind of terrifying. He was and he was Kind of an animal. Yeah, but also very intuitive very brilliant guy Like he was the first guy that they did like caricatures of like he saw because he had his crazy big teeth and his glasses So he was the first guy that they drew like this funny version of him and he liked it He thought that's cool because they're thinking about me the fact that they're Curaturizing me means that I'm an icon. I'm something above of you know and he liked it

So he let that peripheral like proliferate But the other thing about him is that he liked being he didn't like being in charge of things He liked being number two so like they asked him to run New York City Police Department and He became a commissioner. He's like, I'll just be one of the commissioners He's like number two But he ran everything from that number two position because he knew number one is like the shittiest job in any place So he started I don't know that I'm uneducated and I read this a long time ago

But I think he invented the police academy because New York's or at least he in put one in in New York City In New York City to be a cop you had to be in a family of cops Or you had to pay somebody because it was the easiest job in the world You just did you just walked around in the uniform. Yeah, and cops used to sleep like in Alice Yeah, and they didn't do it. They never never stopped crime. Yeah, and they just get paid to protect one gang or the other in New York City and so and they were all fat and often quite old So Teddy said yeah, there's an age restriction. You can't be old He said you have to be in shape. You have to go to an academy and you have to train to be a cop

You have to be taught you have to have an education you get taught a lot of lots of things in the academy It's a school and so he started that police department hated him He pushed it through he reformed the New York police department to the point and this is where he was better than other politicians He wanted to test them and show that they were honest and the only way to do that is to have them In force a law that everybody hates So I think the law was that you couldn't drink on Sunday So he had the cops go around New York City and bust anybody who was drinking on a Sunday and a hundred percent of New Yorkers Hated him for this. Yeah, and they ran him out of town on a rail

And he was fired But to him it was like mission accomplished Teddy would do everything until he was despised Like he would go past the point because his goal was the goal. The goal is the cops are better Not everybody loves Teddy. Yeah, so then he every time he got fired. He would just go to Montana And live in a fucking hut and kill Buffalo And then they went and people would send emissaries and say please run in this at this Please run this company. Please run this company. We always say no and then they came to him and asked him to run the US Navy He did a similar thing to the United States Navy, which I know less about. Yeah

He was obsessed with the war in 1812. I think he wrote a book on it Yeah, what was how we could have won that quickly. We almost lost it because we didn't have a Navy ready And his whole thing was we need to have a huge Navy. That's right Like the war it's actually pretty sick He gave a speech to think either West Point of the Naval Academy where he was like it was probably the Naval Academy It was like there's a vacuum right now England's failing there needs to be one leader someone needs to be somebody in the world Naval power. Yeah, he did two things that have lasted till now I mean a lot of things but two are the National Park system. Yeah

It's just it no one even thought of that that didn't exist the idea of like the government should protect Vast tracks of land. Yeah, and not allow anybody to fuck with them. No one in the on the earth did that Teddy Roosevelt invented that idea So that's exists because of him. They still don't have it in the Amazon. They don't do it That's why it's a nightmare because there's no laws down there that say you can't do this. Everyone just wishes they wouldn't So Teddy did that and he may gave us made us a naval power But and then he was vice president which he didn't want it He was like drafted into running for vice president. Let's talk about this was him and the Spanish the Spanish war

Yes, the the What's it called Hill Fucking San San Juan Hill. Yeah, and he went over. Yeah, he went over to dickhead. Yeah, he's nuts He got everybody killed. Yes, he did. He was crazy. He so which was cool was his the rough riders were cool It was all old West guys. Yes, like gunslingers buffalo hunters native Americans mix with New York Irish cops Like just the nastiest fucking dudes Well back then you couldn't make like a platoon. Yeah, like you could tell the army like I'm gonna make a put

Hey, I just bought a bought some guys. I brought some guys and we call ourselves the rough riders in the army's like, okay You're part of the army. He was 40. Yes, and he had a family He had a sick wife and a family and they were like, what are you doing? Why the fuck would you be going to war? Yes, he's like cuz I want he wanted to go to war He was also a rich patriarch. Yeah on in Oyster Bay. He had this beautiful house of big family He was responsible to a lot of people. Yeah, he took out when his dad died He became like the man of a very Brawling family. His brother's great. Teddy brothers. I kind of was like so in the beginning was his brother's name. I

Don't remember. Was it Kermit. Was it another Kermit might be a son. He was his son. Yeah He went to the Amazon later with his son Kermit He went on on little row boats into the up the Amazon River and almost died He got malaria and he weighed Teddy weighed like 80 pounds. This is after he was president twice. This is in retirement Like he named certain tracts of the Amazon River. He was crazy. It was he was fucking nuts. So wait So then when he was Wait, his brother was a drunk who? Ellie it was out of control. He was the one who was supposed to be the good son, right?

But he got like he just did what anybody would do if they were a Roosevelt number one always fucks up again That's why Teddy was the number two son. Yeah, it's it's like Joe Joe Kennedy John F. Kennedy was supposed to be Joe Kennedy his brother Donald Trump Didn't even older brother John who drank himself. Yes, that's what brothers do Roosevelt Jimmy Carter's brother Billy Drank himself to death didn't Clinton have one Roger Clinton. Roger Clinton was younger than oh, okay Yeah, a lot of these guys how older brothers who just couldn't make it But it's funny how he his brother ended up in like a mental hospital in like Paris

According to this documentary was drinking like six bottles of brandy a day And then the way he died the way he died was like he had like a he had delirium from the alcohol And he was trying to jump out of a window, but he kept just running up and down the steps And he had like an aneurysm Seizure, okay, so when Teddy was just a great story about Teddy the way where Teddy bears come from Okay, Teddy Roosevelt was on in Pennsylvania again your fucking state might have been incredible state not much difference so Teddy was there and on tour as president and there were some people, you know

Every time the president comes to a town they always like they get so excited and they plan stuff So they knew he loves hunting bear. Yeah, so when when Teddy hunts bear He's way up in a mountain alone with a gun and it's him and the bear and he might die Yeah, but these people think he's like a gentleman hunter So they take him we're gonna take you to hunt some bear and they give him a gun They take him into the woods and there's a bear chained to a tree a little bear who's kind of emaciated And it was chained to a tree and they go shoot him and Teddy

Breaks down into tears. Yeah, and he says for the love of God let that poor animal go and There was some journalist there who drew a picture That was like a little sketch that was in the paper of Teddy with this and this little bear And it was they put the people put that together Teddy and bear And started making these stuffed bears that looked like Teddy because of this Jesus Christ so that His first day as president. Yeah. Oh, well, let's McKinley get shot. Yeah He got shot by an anarchist named

Leon Sholgash Sure, whatever, but it was interesting. I think him or now we've lost three presidents three guys got shot in the 1800s Since 18 so in the last 40 years. Yes And the the people are like this was a gunshot today. He would have survived in two days Yeah, so like Roosevelt found out about it. He was out doing some fucking hiking bullshit, right? Somebody came running off the hill like he's shot. You're the president. They get there. The guy's fine He died from infection. Yeah, a lot of these are bad. There's bad medicine Yeah, in the back then you could cut the president on the finger to death. Yeah

Because of how bad medicine wasn't how infected wounds. Yeah, so okay, so McKinley's dead They're in Buffalo, New York. He gets sworn in. Yeah, Ted. He's the president Ted. He's the president of the United States His first day at the White House. He's like walking into the White House and he gets he runs into Booker T. Washington Black fella Hulk Hogan Why is it all his book a T? He's a black wrestler. Oh, okay. He is so an iconic moment Booker T. Washington says Hey, I want to I have some issues I want to talk about and Teddy says come to dinner

Just come to the house tonight come to dinner first night in the White House He hosts a black man never happened in the history of the country a black man being a Guest for dinner at the White House the whole country goes nuts It's the first event of Teddy's presidency is that the Senate? You know I could be having some of these things wrong, but the Senate unanimously censured the president for having there was nobody in the mix It like if it was happened today and even like fucking AOC was like, oh, no, you don't have in the White House Everyone like all the way across the board said that's not okay, and they censured him

They tried to throw him out They're like maybe we should impeach him But the best thing they could do is censure him for having had a black man as a guest in the White House So this was what Teddy did. This is the kind of guy He was he went on he had him to dinner constantly and he went on a speaking tour with him He made him like yell elevated him more and more because he was just like, you know fuck you guys. Yeah There's one more. I wanted to say about Spanish Civil War. That's pretty funny. Yeah, and they took that hill He was on his horse. Everybody else was like

So they took one hill and then he saw San Juan Hill or whatever it's called He was like we're gonna take that he went off by himself right five guys followed him three of them got shot Yeah, cuz he went all of a sudden. Yeah, like we're doing this. Yeah He didn't order anything. No into a hail of gunfire. So then he came back And one of the guys was laying down and he was like, how are you gonna lay down when I'm up on this horse get up And as soon as the guy stood up, he got shot in the head Then he led the charge and they were all that you know a lot of them died But some of them could have been president he did it

Purely out of like I wanted to be in war, which is really a terrible terrible terrible terrible leader He had that for that. Yeah, I mean, it's but he won he won a worked out. It did work out and and then when he was another great story about him that I heard was that He would fight whoever was the heavyweight champ. Oh, yeah, he would Bear knuckle. Yeah So like Jack Johnson, I think had just won the championship. So he was invited. He doesn't know this what's gonna happen He's invited to the White House

So he got I don't know if they had an oval office yet. Yeah Comes into the oval office. I believe they did and Teddy was like, oh Terrific, and he fucking starts and Jack Johnson's like, what are you doing? He's like, come on. No, because to him It was like it made sense. Yeah that the president Should fight with the heavyweight champion and he fought him Johnson Blinded him in one eye and Teddy begged him. Please don't tell anybody Because I'll get it says Teddy. He's not supposed to do this

So he used to get people to leave the room and then he fought him and he blinded He was always blind in that I which he was always in denial about because he was sort of ashamed Yeah, this guy's insane. He was nuts again to me. I'm approaching these guys as characters. Yeah fast He was but he did he did a ton of great shit and then he started going after all these trusts He started breaking up all these monopolies. He started so he's the first president from this fucking lull of just garbage presidents To start to actually like reform shit. That's right and start to really well That's what he'd be like when he was when he was governor of New York He was doing something that was like huge and one of his aides said if you pull this off

You could run for president and Teddy Snapped at him and said don't ever in your life say something like that to me. He said if I add my own career and potential to the Math of my decisions, then it'll destroy everything He said we never never think about my career and he really did live that. Yeah, he personally wanted to be though That's funny. Like he wrote To his lady because he was in DC. Yeah Maybe before he was the vice president. He was in New York. That's that's when he became the vice president

He was in New York and that guy that he was in his political party. I forget the guy's name was like sent him to DC I don't want him in New York anymore. Yeah, he's a fucking nightmare. No, he was fighting everybody He's fighting every comfortable place. Yeah, possibly be but president of the United States But he was like every time I walked past the White House like I Could be there someday. Yes, like he had that in there but the greatest piece of film on Teddy is That he was the first president to fly in an airplane and there's film of it He went in with a hot rod guy who was like a barnstormer guy

Yeah, and it's just a biplane and they show him, you know, it's shitty black and white footage But he gets in the plane and it corkscrews and does he was already retired He was kind of older and you see him get out of it and you see him go like That was crazy But that's how much of a badass he was youngest president also youngest one forty two or forty three. Yeah, yes one two terms one two terms and then and then elected and then left Then he decided not to run the third time because of he didn't like Republican politics And then he ran for a third term after skipping a term and he split the vote

On a new one. Yeah, was it called the party bull moose or something like that? Yeah, we're skipping the party gets shot Yes, he got shot shot in the chest And he had his a big thick thing of his speech. Yeah, and he had Something else metal. I forget what was that something I got. I wasn't a flask. Yeah, but he had some shit in his pocket Didn't the bull got lodged into his chest though, right? It went but it was in his it didn't it didn't get into his It didn't break his muscle. No, it stuck there and then he apparently cleared his throat finish the speech And he finished he said you it's gonna take a lot more to kill a bull moose That's what he said pretty fucking wild getting shot in the middle of the speech clearing your throat. It's a great moment

then he personally Elected the next guy, which I'm forgetting Could have been taffed and then taffed Is okay Extremely fat guy didn't he dine it back up? No, he got stuck about him in a tub Didn't he get stuck he gets stuck in it to get buttered out of the tub. Yeah And that takes us to Wilson cuz then he taffed ran against Wilson Roosevelt decides he wants to come back and Wilson was Jersey governor of New Jersey or something. I don't know. This is where I stopped Wilson is I

don't know much about him Except for for me like some of the sources for what I know about these guys come from different places so what I know about Wilson is because I Read this book about it was called the peace to end all peace book that everybody should read and it's about how World War One The end of World War One was how all the Middle Eastern countries were drawn. I rack and I ran and Syria and all these places only exists because of

Yeah, British and American French. These are lines that were these are countries. That's why we don't have like Kurdistan There's no Kurdistan, but there's Kurdish people. Yeah, but they just didn't have a place at that table So we just made Iraq. Iraq is a bunch of different people don't belong in a country called. It's the something something It's two names. It's a Whatever, but yeah, it was a colonization. They just were like, yeah, the treaty whatever the fuck but so but anyway, but World War One was this just bizarre stupid until World War One Europe was still all Kings and princes and there was still a country called Prussia and there was guys that went with like Helmets with brushes on the top and they marched around and he was like the prince of and

It was still the whole yeah, and they had some budding democracy, but they still gave it enormous amount of power They're stupid fucking yeah to one family. Yes, they were all related. Yes, and they were yes And they were all married to each other. Yes, and the leaders of World War One were cousins Kaiser Wilhelm Yeah, was an uncle to like Nicholas czar King George Russia. Yeah, and so they fought this ridiculous war because and now they had suddenly had this mechanized They had machine guns. Yeah, some of the shit was developed here during this. Yeah, and they just start Firing crazy weapons at each other artillery. Yeah, and the US

But the real the thing about that war was the Middle East It was it was the Turkish Ottoman Empire was falling apart and All of these European countries wanted a piece of what was going to be there I think they had started to figure out that oil was in the Middle East I don't I don't have all this worked out on my head, but Wilson refused to get into the war Because he knew it was an imperialist bullshit and at the time America was against

Going out and sending troops other places for Imperialism was something America hated because it still wasn't that long ago that we were fucking we were a colony so We finally did enter World War One, and I don't know why it was Which it was hard for the US to enter because half the population is German. You know what I mean? Yes It half's Irish. Yeah fucking hated England. Yes all this and then I think it was like the Lusitania They just kept doing all these things are always bullshit. I don't know. Yeah, it was I think Lusitania did have weapons on it Well, we were we were selling weapons. We're probably making money on the war

But when we entered the war we didn't Fight in the Middle East were the only allied country that we didn't send any troops. We made up for it though later Sure Sure. Yeah, we didn't get it, but that was our position back then We had like there was like a morality to what we did at least politically not economically We never cared sure because the those levers were handled by Industry not by the government. Anyway, I don't know that I'm getting way out of my dough No, I don't know that much about Wilson. So then I don't know who's after Wilson Wilson after Wilson would be

I'll tell you harding don't know don't harding was He was corrupt. He was really corrupt and that started leading to Hey fucking whatever then Coolidge same thing. Yeah I was just watching shit on these guys who cares. Yeah, this is the roaring 20s though Yeah, so shit's going well financially. Yeah, they had their pandemic during all those guys by the way And these guys are all Corrupt, yes, and like it's just out of control the economy is out of control But everything and this is post World War one who's after Coolidge Coolidge is Hoover

After Hoover right Herbert Hoover and then that's his shit starting to turn around a little And then here comes FDR. Okay, so FDR like again I hope my approach is always with these guys were his people and my favorite take on FDR is What's his name Churchill's so I read this book Churchill and and it's called Franklin and Winston About their relationship. Yeah, Churchill was a nerd. He was of you know fat English drunk nerd and he was a lord. He was a little lord. Yeah Roy nerd now Franklin Roosevelt was also a rich kid. Yeah, it was a nerd. He was a nerd. Yeah, he was also a

um Really dedicated to the people and he did a lot of things like up here in upstate New York He had Hyde Park and there's all these massive estates Hyde Park and the Vanderbilt's live next door and he gave his when he became president He gave Hyde Park to the country. He said you just let it be a museum for a time when people when People lived like this and he persuaded his next door neighbors the Vanderbilt's to do the same He got all the upstate rich people. He said move into the city and give these play Let these be places for the people to visit. So that's the kind of guy he was but so Winston Churchill

worshipped Roosevelt he just thought he was the coolest He was Americans came off really cool back then and Churchill was like this, you know, very And and so there's a few intimate stories that are great about the two of them one of them Winston came to Hyde Park to plead the case Please come into the war because Franklin wasn't coming into the war So he was he spent like a night in Hyde Park and they talked And it was and it was uh Churchill's feeling like for the first time that Franklin maybe liked him

and so the moment that they that's in this book is that uh He was in his car Churchill at night and and fdr was seeing him off He was like at the window of his car and Churchill said Franklin I feel so good to have really spent time with you and I feel a connection with you and Roosevelt said take take it easy Just take it easy And then the other one and he just heard hurt his feelings then the other great thing Was at Yalta the conference at Yalta where yeah, this is good fdr

And Churchill are trying to get Stalin to come into the war on the allied. He could have come on either side It was a toss-up or he could have stayed out But a rush in front to the war was everything and it turned out to be everything Yeah Same thing that happened to it's what stopped It's what killed Napoleon because russia is just this deep forest and anybody who invades russia just gets

Absorbed and then stuck for the winter it killed Napoleon and it killed eventually took Hitler It's not where they lose, but it's where they get the drains. Okay. Yeah, so Churchill is like the European statesman He's the one who's been fighting the war longer and he's like he's been mechanizing How am I going to do this? And so when they get to Yalta, he goes to to Roosevelt. This is let's talk. Let's plan how we're going to get Joseph and Fdr goes, oh, just let's have lunch. We'll do after lunch after lunch and he's like, okay, when are we gonna

We got a comfab you and me. We're gonna triangulate. We're gonna you come from that's a good cop bad cop Like which one do you want to do? And fdr is like, it's all right Winston. It's all right. Sorry. I got that. We'll we'll talk about it We'll definitely talk about it and then they're at lunch with Stalin and uh and Roosevelt looks at Churchill and he says to Stalin, Joseph, look at look at Churchill. Look at what a fat

Weird little man he is What it look at him with his cigar. Look how ridiculous he is and Stalin is like shocked and he looks at Churchill and he goes He just laughs and he fucking drinks vodka with fdr And they fucking sing in songs and fdr and joseph are like best friends Churchill is a fucking loser And then and then you know and fdr is like, so you come in our side and try and joseph like yes. Yes Of course I come in your side He just read he read the room and he knew what had to be done

And it was throwing fucking Winston Churchill onto the bus and making him feel like a fat little But he was mad about it. He was mad. Churchill was mad. Yeah No, but he got the I mean he won world war two at yes He did but he had to be humiliated Yeah, the best was uh, my cool one about Churchill and Roosevelt not really Roosevelt, but just after pearl harbor Uh, I think Churchill sent a cigar to The king and was like we just won like as soon as pearl harbour, right?

He knew because that's all he wanted was for them. It's it's over There is one point where he needed to meet in person with fdr. So the british fleet Took Churchill into the middle of the atlantic ocean Yeah, and the american fleet sent a warship that had church that had Fdr's yacht on like just sitting on the deck of an aircraft carrier And they lowered his yacht into the water in the middle of the ocean And it put put put it over to church to the english and they were Ringed by like, you know, yeah, if the nazis had come along there was like a thousand guns

Just for a meeting between those two guys on a yacht drinking whiskey in the middle of the ocean So that's all I got on uh, fdr three times. Yeah, and then he died. So here's so truman, okay truman Fuck the new deal. We don't need to talk about it. Yeah, don't care. We're talking about the guys not the not the american history So truman Was his third vice president truman was uh, yeah, Missouri I think yes, and he was considered kind of a fucking loser. He was a hated Hey, he was like hated the way

That like ted cruises hated like that kind of like if you talk to people in washington They're just like, oh, I can't with that fucking guy for different reasons but truman Was picked fdr was like, who can we pick that's not gonna Fuck things up, you know And they picked truman truman was a guy. He was worked at a haberdashery It didn't work out. He had his he was one of these guys His father was a farmer and he was running his farm and then he

Went and worked at a bank and was kicking ass Yeah, and then his father's farm failed and his fault So he took it over and that wiped out like 10 years of his life was just being a farmer And he had a haberdashery that didn't work whatever But so truman went to the senate and then when he became When he was oh when he was a senator his focus was Uh graft during world war two

Basically all the money like billions of dollars would be appropriated for the war And given to american industries and they would all steal them and every senator in washington was stealing All the work we were fighting hitler And everybody in washington was just stealing money and fleecing their fucking pockets like openly in front of everybody And so truman like had this idea. Let's not do that. Let's let's try to win Let's try to win and let's try to get the money to the soldiers who are dying and everyone hated them That's why they hated them. They fucking hated him and even wrote it. What's that? I would have hated them Most everybody hates the guy. Yeah, everybody hates the one guy. Yeah

Even fdr was like, do we really want a guy who's like, oh Yeah, we need to steal the money. Yeah, so Uh They they made him vice president nobody liked them. They locked him out of every like they always do to the vice president So one night he's in sam rayburn's office sam rayburn was like the greatest speaker of the house ever Sam rayburn, there's the building that all the offices are in is the sam rayburn building He was like the first great speaker one of the great speakers So sam rayburn, he's in his office playing poker with sam rayburn

They had a poker room like a dark smoke the smoky original smoky room And truman is just a loser vice president nobody talks to him And he's playing poker with sam and the other guys late into the night just having a good time and then he gets a call there's a call for you and it's uh Eleanor grows available. She says my husband just died Yeah, you need to get to the white house So out of habit because nobody cared about him. He just went on the street alone

And hailed a cab Yeah, and there was one moment where he's in a taxi and he realizes jesus christ were at war And the president united states is in a taxi. Nobody knows where I am And then the famous moment is that he got to the white house And elinor greeted him at the door and he said Mrs. President or whatever Is Is there anything I can do for you and she says mr. President

Is there anything I can do for you? Yeah, and everyone was like this is gonna suck. Yeah She's like you're the one who's in trouble. Truman's gonna blow. Yeah, but he was a very good president He nukes japan dropped the bomb There's a There is a and don't let it don't get it twisted. Don't get it twisted. He they had it coming All right, there's this thing in history where everyone wants to be like I can't believe they did that Look into no, there's the account of the um

Of the announcement of the uh truman was on a ship When it he was on a on a big ship and he was having a big banquet Yeah, and he got the report in his ear like george bush that they had just it worked Yeah, that it worked. There's nobody knew if it even worked and he did a little tink tink tink tink tink Everybody just so you know we dropped a bomb on the jet on hero shaman. It's it worked And we're starting again the thing nagasaki had dropped after also and there it looks like like a day later and everybody Everybody applauded because there was no conflict Yeah, because

The japanese were never going to Surrender. Yeah, and the amount of people that would have died This is what it's like when you get deep into a war. How many people have died so far How many more will die if we do it this way? Yeah, how many will die if we do it this way? Uh, so that's what happened. I don't have an opinion about it. I doubt I do but that's fine But here's the thing. Here's the thing. Nobody cares about dresden Nobody cares about no dresden way more people die. Yeah, and it's also and first off kind of well not more horrifically both had like fire tornadoes Yes, that just wiped out. Well, they said the atmosphere on fire. Yeah, it's the scariest thing in the world

It's awful. It sucked the oxygen out of a city and there were fire tornadoes. Yes People were melting in the streets. Yes into the street The like going down the drains the pavement Melted so they'd run out of their houses and their feet would get stuck And then they'd reach down and then just be stuck in the fucking I mean, it's the worst thing in the world, but You know They might have had it coming

but Of course, there's of course these are civilians Of course a joke about uh two agents running into each other on the street in hollywood and one of them was like, uh Hey, what do you've been up to when he goes? I produced a special for you know, whatever just pick a You know selene dion or whatever. Yeah He goes, how'd you like working with her? She's like fucking cunt fucking worthless fucking spoiled brat fucking drunk Fucking drug-addled cunt. I hope she fucking dies and the other guy goes, you know, she's my niece and the guy goes Let me finish

It's an old joke Cut it out. That's a good joke. So so, uh, okay Why did we get to that because because the Nagasaki, uh, uh, Hiroshima, so we dropped the so truman dropped the bombs um and Won the war and then the next guy is um eyes now I only have one good eisenhower story that I saw told by his son After eisenhower retired. He was a fucking general. He was a general killed hitler. Yeah, and then he was president

And he was a president in a very good time. He's one of the few presidents that just kind of 1950s kind of started Vietnam, but yes, he was Damn good meaty part of our history and korea, but other than that He had a pretty good time Got us kicked off in korea for no reason no reason zero reason Yeah, zero reason

Vietnam knew nothing accomplished turns out nothing, but at the time you wanted to stop the spread of communism Yeah, no, that's what we're doing now in ukraine. Of course. Yeah, we need to stop me to spread whatever. It's just good It's good. We need to stop russia. You got to just I don't yeah kill russians just russians need to die. It's fun. It's fun. Yeah But uh when he retired there's a story. I saw his son tell in an interview where um He had made a putting green on his front lawn Like he he got kentucky bluegrass or whatever like he got like perfect grass and he had this beautiful because he was All he wanted to do was putt

In front of his house. Yeah, and then he had a corral where he had horses. This is after he's president. Yeah. Yeah, he's done He's done just run a porch with his whole family Yeah, and they're all sitting there and a horse a green horse gets an unbroken horse gets out of the The the corral and start and jumps onto the putting green and just starts taking bites out of it and destroying it And his family looks at the general the it was their father, but they called him the general And he just said isn't that the most beautiful thing you ever saw in your life? And they realized why he's not the same guy anymore. He's gone. He's different Yeah, it's over. We forgot. We skipped one thing which I didn't I don't somehow I didn't know

Yeah, Eleanor Roosevelt was his fucking cousin was FDR's cousin. Well, it was Teddy Teddy was your uncle. Well, no Teddy was Teddy was Roosevelt's uncle Teddy was Teddy was FDR's cousin. Well, he was like his He was like a second cousin the way that your father's cousin is your second that crazy brother. Yeah was Teddy's crazy brother was Her father was Eleanor's father, right? They were all yes. They were all related. They were related. Yes, and teddy was his

his Hero, yeah Yeah, even got those glasses when he was younger. Yes, it was It's pretty nice and then he got to school. He went to school as a young boy And he was just surrounded by his whole life. He was around a rich adult And then he got to school and everyone started whooping his ass Pretty fun. So now we're on Ike

Ike, I don't know nothing about him except for that one story about the horse dumb thing about him being called Ike was Everybody in his family all his him and his siblings were all called Ike right and because it was his last name Yeah, no, I just Ike, yeah Eisenhower Dwight Eisenhower. Yeah, but Ike has nothing to do with it. No, he said he had no idea why he was called Ike No, he said him and all his siblings were all called Ike. They would call each other Ike right it was like they're like Was he the one where it was do we do we wins that thing that happened?

There was that newspaper headline said do we wins the elections for some reason I counted too quick For some reason I thought there was always fdr holding that up I think it's fdr. Yeah, maybe you're right. I don't know. I don't know. All these also rands were Truman Truman was holding it up. Yeah. So Truman got reelected. That's right. Um It's now at Eisenhower. So Eisenhower just running whatever so then after so so Nixon was his vice president And nixon got in trouble when he was vice president Because said people said he was doing graft that he was taking money already when he was a young First of all, he was a senator and he was a pinko hating like he started where was he in california?

He like started the whole red scare. Yeah, and he went after a lady who was a local beloved politician And he called her the pink lady is the first time that they started this thing of pinkos. Yeah, this being pinkos and uh, she went on to star in um Beverly hillbillies She's the um She's the banker's assistant. I don't know if you've ever watched that show the Beverly hillbillies. No, I vaguely remember the intro She was like the one of the stars. Yeah, he called the pink lady. But so he So pinko comes from pink lady. Yeah, he started this pinko thing and he called it a pink lady

And he hated the communists and there's a famous picture of him looking at a A piece of microfilm that it was supposed to be documents that he found that were being stolen by communists And you know and they killed the Rosenbergs. Yeah, all that stuff, but they had a common What no, they didn't do anything. They didn't do anything. They didn't do anything Wait a minute when when the the cold war started to lift anytime someone dies when the cold war started to lift the kgb Said by the way, the Rosenbergs never heard of like they gave us nothing There was a giant red herring. We killed a merry couple with children. We didn't do anything ever They blamed the Rosenbergs for nuclear secrets, right? Yes, but they didn't do that

No, and that's all nixon was really into that shit Be funny if they're like, we don't know anything about nukes. Yeah, we don't ever seen one so Nixon becomes a vice president He gets in trouble and so he has to give he gives a speech on television where he's sitting at a desk It's called the checkers speech because he had a dog named checkers Who was given to his children and they said it was a gift that he's he was supposed to register

You know what I mean? Like he was taking gifts From from people pre quote pro whatever you call it And that the dog was an expensive dog given to his children So he goes on tv and he tells his finances to the american people and he says and i'm an honest person We didn't steal anything and here's what happened and he says but There's been some comment about this dog and my kids love that dog and we're gonna keep it And that was like a moment that people were like, all right, you're okay But people never really trusted me called a tricky dick because of way back then

So then he runs against uh fucking canadine And uh number four he gets Yes, and he loot first canadine Was on the ballot He tried to run against Eisenhower Yes, I believe so okay And then he got to the convention and he was gonna be and I think canadine lost in the at the convent used to be the Conventions where they picked the guy. Yeah to whoever the fuck I adlai stevenson. No, he was

His vp. I don't fucking remember how the all this works. Yeah, i'm confused by it. Sorry. I think adlai stevenson was Um I think canady was supposed to okay. I don't care. Yeah So canady and nixon debate on television. Yeah, that's ugly. Yeah When nixon he's not the best-looking guy everybody always is like he's a hunk You know, I mean, you know how i'm gonna say he's a hunk What did he just say? Oh, he's got headphones. Oh, he is listening. He is listening. Uh

Sometimes he looks like a bit of a goat like he's got wide and weird eyes. He has bedroom eyes girls like that Oh, yeah, he's a good. I think he's a good-looking guy him and bobby were both good. He's got maybe for sure, but yeah Well, you beat I don't know you're you're a you're a decent-looking guy. You're a nice-looking guy Let me see. You're not you're not handsome the way canady was. I mean, that's a handsome face That's a handsome man with that head of hair is unbelievable. Is that what of hair that head of hair? Not anymore No, because somebody shot the back of it. So who did though? A lot of people. Yeah, you think like six guys

I think a lot of guys shot him in the head. So many they dug so many they're like four people that shot him somebody with a paper clip Fucking wait. Do you have any opinions on that? Do you think it was do you believe it was the lone gunman lee harvey? I think you can take any event in human history And find an alternate version of it if you dig and dig and dig and I think a presidential assassination is just so interesting Yeah That so I don't have an opinion. I mean, I'm fascinated by it. Yeah, it's really interesting There are some weird about and to read about it's fun to look into Of course, because it seems the culture of it is like the greatest it seems kind of like something was up

Yeah, was it because he I always was he trying to end vietnam? I know it had just kind of kicked off You the there's also the civil rights and all that stuff He was ramming that down the throats of some guys and you know, I'm they offered him a false flag in cuba and he was like no Right I mean, it's crazy. There's a lot of what he did what the what he the what he fought against the states You know, like what's his name the guy at college with the black kids coming in? Yeah, jan ago. You're not coming in here There's a great documentary that everybody should watch that's about

robert kennedy who was the He made his own brother the fucking attorney general which is insane and who was like 20 But he made him attorney general and at the time what's his name? Was uh fucking fbi the guy Hoover Or no j. Edgar. No j. Edgar. j. Edgar Hoover was uh, the fbi and he had to work under this kid kennedy

That was a lot of the tension in the country was about that Um, but anyway history hasn't been too kind to j. Edgar. No, it hasn't because he was gay Well, he was a cross dress. That's why people don't like some people I don't know which version of this kind of thing he was but he wore clothes of a woman Lee nature. It's all good I don't know that he had sex with men, but he wore women's clothes two different things I don't know he dressed up like ladies and then he would try to blackmail like mlk Yeah, he just he would write a maybe like dressed in a woman's dress with lipstick. I know what he likes

I know what you've been up to mlk You ever see that letter they wrote him They wrote they wrote the fbi sent Martin Luther King a letter that was like you should fucking kill yourself Really, we're gonna out you if you don't kill yourself in the next 30 days Do we're just trying to hurt his feelings? No, they're trying to kill him. It's just like in shitty text. It's in typewriter They sent them they sent him a letter. I think dear. I think loretta scott opened it Wow, loretta scott. Horetta. Horetta scott. Horetta. That's it. Loretta scott. Whatever. It's close one letter

and Loretta opened it Coretta correct and Yeah, she was like what the fuck's this and he's like fucking god damn fbi is trying to Wow, you got caught cheating. He's like fucking fbi again Oh But it actually was the fbi. He wasn't lying, but man that probably was a tough sell to it probably was your lady Like this is she's like this says you've been fucking all these women. He's like, but you're missing the point

The fbi is trying to kill me. She's like Who's louise honey? This is history. They're gonna talk about this later in podcast eventually they killed him. So, uh kennedy um Here's a great kennedy story. So peter salinger. I think it was his name was a pure salinger one of the he was a great He was a uh a journalist who hung out with kennedy a lot So they're in kennedy's

Um In the oval office and what kennedy really liked bragging about Was that he could get anybody on the phone ever the white house operators could get any human being in the world So he said to pier salinger Um Give me a name. I can get him on the phone in 10 minutes and he happened to know That truman capote was uh writing a book in the wood. He was like in a cabin in the woods cut off no phone on sabbatical

And so he says truman capote and so kennedy get picks up the phone on the coffee table says Yeah, give me a truman capote, please And just hangs up and then they keep talking and in 10 minutes He hears like a heli like they fucking got a helicopter And they lowered it and yes, mr. Peggy And uh, so that's what he was like. He liked being president. He liked the fucking he was cool He was a cool president and jack and the thing about him and because nixon is nixon and kennedy's stories are just attached

um nixon was a nerd And kennedy was cool And it's another thing like Churchill and f dr that nixon was always heartbroken the people just prefer jack Because he was a cooler guy and there's a little story that's in i think it's in kennedy's I think no it's in nixon's Um, uh, what do you call it in his? Um, library about how the two of them when they were senators they were sent to philadelphia

To debate like they used to do this the senate would say you they get a democrat or you guys go up and debate the issue So the two of them were in a sleeper car together because they're going overnight or whatever to fill Or some city where they had to be in a sleeper car and uh And kennedy and so nixon suggested who well who gets the top because there's bunks He says let's flip a coin. This is the story and then they flipped a coin and kennedy won That's why it's a funny story to people. It's the first time that they yeah But i picture this story like a fly on the wall

They're in the sleeper car and nixon's like, you know, just nerd Packed a little suitcase. Well kennedy's been fucking. He's just fucking somebody. Yeah kennedy's hungover Good-looking dude smoking a cigarette and he's like i gotta be with this fucking nixon. He hates nixon And nixon's like uh, so i guess um We should flip a coin And kennedy's like wet Well decide who's yeah, go ahead Anyone flip well you won

Okay, dick great get up Nobody gives the fuck up. Yeah, you fucking lose climb up there. Yeah, so that was them And then uh, okay, so kennedy gets shot in the head. Yeah and throat Yes, and the bullet somehow hits the guy in front of him a little weird. He did have aids. Yeah, he died of aids first one Yeah, also that kills the governor paralyzes the governor Or uh, I don't know fucking got from texas also got shot Whatever that's another one. They said today's medicine. They could have he would have made it kennedy With his head just empty his emptied head

Uh, so then lbj comes in. Okay, so lbj was a fucking fascinating dude. Oh, hold on. How long have we been at this? Yeah They were exactly right on time. So let's do this. Yeah, we're gonna read some ads Okay, all right, and then we're gonna switch over to the patreon for the last part So join the patreon if you want, why do you switch? Why don't you make them go on patreon that way? That way what it's good. You make do you need the money? Yes Really the ads and the patreon you're gonna make them listen to ads and then switch to patreon hold on This is this is like when I watch a fucking fight on disown

Which I pay for and there's a fucking ad between the rounds Hold on. Is it subscription or is it fucking? Shit, there's three ads Yeah, but you don't have to put this on patreon You don't have to you don't need it. It's not for me. Matt and Sean need it. Oh, that's got a family How much do you get for patreon? How much really you I'll tell you tell me how much do you think you'll make on this on patreon? If if 1000 people join yeah the patreon that's It's five dollars a month

It's five thousand dollars a month and then you can say just stay there and then yeah, they like it But you think a thousand people will join your patreon 5000 new people Because of this I wish you would stop this guys I will support the greatest history podcast $5,000 a month to keep this content. This could be the greatest history podcast of all time and thank christ It's brought to you by manscaped Oh christian is your bush. Oh my god. They're trying to write it like we talk Fellows is your bush in super gremlin mode?

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