Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S01 E03: James Acaster (Kerry only)

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

"In the penis! In the penis! In the penis!" Kerry chats with James Acaster about his five favourite photos... That his mum sent us. Photo 01 - James as a baby Photo 02 - James with his parents Photo 03 - James in a lion costume Photo 04 - James as a teenager Photo 05 - James with his favourite painting Photo 06 - James in Brixton on his birthday PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. Each episode, I take a trip down Memory Lane with a very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos that we're talking about, they're all on the episode image and you can also see them a bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. I don't know what order to do your phone.

photos, James, because there's, for a start, can I just say, why couldn't you pick five? Because I don't really love photos of myself a lot of the time. And I thought I would just send you them and let you pick them. Right. Because also I'm very bad at judging, if it's something to do with me, my own, whatever it is, like, I'm bad at judging what other people will be interested in and what will be, you know, I'm worried that I'll just pick five that were just really boring for everybody else, but I like them. Whereas I'd rather that you picked five and then it's at least one of a person who's interested in those photos.

Right. Or is what happened, you asked your mum for a selection of photos, she sent you these and you just forwarded them to us? Yes. Right, so you've not made any selection. You've not engaged with the selection of these photographs at all. No. But I'm quite excited to see what the people who have engaged with them have chosen.

All right, well, I suppose if we were going to go in chronological order, we'd start with you as a baby, of which we have two. Yes. And I'm going to, you look really happy. A lot of babies look pissed off, but you are a happy baby. Yeah, born into a Christian family, always happy. Really? All the time.

seven. Yep. Just the joy of Jesus right from day one. Yep, that was it immediately. So full of the Lord. You do look. I'm going to go with the one with you on the floor next to a funky carpet.

Because you look happy in both. But aesthetically, I lean towards this carpet shop. Yeah. And you're just punching the sky there in a really cute little baby grow. I assume you have no recollection of this being taken. I don't remember it very well. but I Photos of me as a baby

I mean I know it sounds stupid to say that you don't recognise yourself But it really is like That I would never If I, you could probably show me a photo That I've never seen myself as a baby And I wouldn't guess it was me If you said like what comic do you think that is

I probably guess me last a lot of the time Yeah it'd be good clickbait You'd be like who is this baby And I'd be like oh Who is this baby would be a good TV show. I'd watch that. Oh, definitely. I also like the carpet a lot. Yeah, I love that car. And I don't think I remember that house. Oh, I definitely don't remember that house. We were there. That was our first house in Ketrin. So I was born in Ketrin. What year would this be? And we moved away for one year when I

was like four or five. And that, and my earliest memories of when we moved away, which was in Bambury in Oxfordshire. So that's my earliest memories and then we moved back to Ketran after the year. So I don't remember, that was on King Street in Ketran. Shout out to King Street. But like...

You do look like you're doing a shout out to King Street in that photo. I do, don't I? But also, I mean, see, that's the thing. I don't remember that house, but that carpet is weirdly nostalgic to me. Like I look at it and go, oh, yeah. I feel like I remember the carpet, even though I clearly don't.

that carpet would have been chosen by your parents or they just inherited from the house. That was just in the house where we moved. Because it's a really bold carpet. I mean, I want to know if your parents made those aesthetic choices. Yeah, I pretty much 100% certain they didn't. I think at that stage, I don't remember us moving into a house. Maybe I'm going to be wrong on this. And my parents listen to every podcast that I do.

and my mum texts me every correction to anything I say. So if I want to know about that carpet, it's your mum I need to speak to. Oh, yeah, she'd tell you all about it. And also she'd tell you that it wasn't that I was mistaken, is that I'm a liar, is what you would be told. Right, yeah, there's a distinct difference. Yeah, it's like I don't know why he feels the need

to make stuff up on podcasts and lie, which I'm not lying. Well, you're a baby, and it's fair to say you won't remember. That carpet would only work now. as a sort of ironic carpet in a sort of trendy East London bar. Yeah, I mean, although I'll be honest, if I even moved in here and one of the rooms had that carpet, and it was just a nice carpet and wasn't manky or nothing, but it would just look like that.

There's no way I'd change it. I would have kept it. But again, that's me being sentimental in anything that's like, I love stuff that is just screaming with too much personality rather than stuff that's quite plain. Yeah. Even though I've chosen plain stuff for the flat that I'm in. But if someone else had chosen something outlandish, I'd keep it.

That's a 70s baby grow as well, I'd go as far as to say. I, again, I'm not 100% sure on this. Well, your mom will tell. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that is a hand-me-down. Right. Like, I think a lot of the stuff we had that I had as a baby had been given to us by people from my parents' church, I think. Right. Might be wrong.

I'm not lying. So let's go to your mum and dad then. This is you with your mum and dad. Oh yeah. You really look like your dad? You think I look like my dad? Yeah, I do. I can really see he's your dad.

Because I've kind of taken pride in the fact that I'm one of those people who everyone just says, I look like a 50-50 mixture of both my parents. Oh, in that photograph. I mean, he's definitely doing a face in that photo that is like what I would do on stage. Yeah, it is a James face, definitely. But then look at my mum, though. They are so young. How old were they when they had you?

20s. Wow. They look teen. They look teen. Right. They look Amish and they look teen. I mean, I cannot tell you how much my mum will love that. Really?

Oh, she wants to be Amish so much. I wouldn't mind being a bit armish. I mean, there's a lot. One of my favourite films is Witness. Yeah, of course. Well, it's classic Amish film, in it. Yeah. The only one, actually.

I can't think of another one if I'm honest, James. Well, that one and Kingpin, and I don't think she's watched Kingpin. I haven't. I haven't seen it. A lot of women role-modelled themselves on Kelly McGillis in Witness. Really? Yeah, she's a wholesome woman. There's the bit where they don't have sex.

Oh, it's one of the most erotic scenes in film. Yeah. I think my mum really admired the character in that. I remember watching my mum showing me witness. It's one of the only films that I remember my mum showing me. My dad made a point of showing me rain man and Groundhog Day growing up. Oh, really? And like, we're going to watch these films.

These are important films. And my mum made a point, but she was like, she wanted to watch Witness and made it clear that she loved this film. Right. And it was one of the only films I remember like throughout at her kind of like out loud commenting on her favorite bits. Oh really? including the non-sex scene and being like,

just almost congratulating them out loud for not having sex. That's the way to go. Yeah. So they were, so they're Christians. You had quite a religious upbringing, would you say?

Yeah, but like a, I'll say relaxes if it was, like, I guess the fact that me and my brother and sister are not religious anymore. Right. Kind of speaks volumes to my parents' failure.

They've completely, but we had a very, I'd say I'll speak for myself a very nice religious upbringing I liked it it was I felt like I got all the good things out of it

and obviously with any religious upbringing you get a bit of guilt and stuff but none of it was from home so like what was nice my mum and dad it was just all based on

just like loving people and being good and that so like yeah but we went to churches that were quite they weren't like any denomination and stuff. It was like, you know, in some sort of community centre and just a bunch of people who were kind of like, you know, with nose piercings. Yeah, kind of like hippie Christians.

Yeah. I mean, I just loved watching the band and watching the sketches. There'd be a sketch every week that someone would do like a little comedy sketch that had a biblical message to it. But like, I just loved them. I thought they were so funny the comedy sketches and I loved the band and the music and just wanted to do all that so I started playing the drums. I remember I did one of the sketches. It's my first time performing. Oh, how old were you? I don't know how old I would have been.

It was primary school. Okay. And it was me and my dad. I asked my dad, because I think my dad had done another sketch with somebody else. And I thought it's great. And I said to my dad, I wanted to do one.

And he said, okay, you can be in one with me. And it was like, it's basically him. This is like, this is going to make my dad look. look bad in a way but he was just like I think we had to play these roles but he was playing God

he cast himself as God yeah cast himself as God fair enough and I was a lonely servant a human being and it was him so I had a carrier bag full of stuff that were my belongings

and that were representing like elements of my life and it was him asking me you know can I have that part of your life and go out of that I mean yeah yeah and then at some point saying no and I'd say no to certain bits and I'd not want to give him and he told me

every time you say no just really go over not over the top but yeah you got to come from me like you'll turn your nose up and turn away from me and make a really big theatrical thing of it right and every time I did that it got a laugh and you remember that clearly getting that love it I loved it I remember that really clearly getting the laugh and loving getting the laughs and then I remember afterwards wanting to get compliments from the people in the church who had seen it and walking around and sitting down with this woman who was like my friend Alex's mum and I said to her I saw you I would never imagine doing this after a gig now I went up to I went I saw you laughing at me earlier you take you hours to do that after one of your gigs to say to everyone probably still

what I want to do after it gig actually. It's going to be, I saw you laughing. I saw you laughing. But she was, but she got confused. So it was complete like miscommunication. So I said, I saw you laughing at me earlier. She went, this is almost a classic Christian response. Oh, James, oh, it was only because you were being funny.

I wasn't laughing at you. Oh. And I was like, I know. I just, I saw you laughing at me. It was like, no, but listen. It was, and it went on forever. Oh, God, but very well-meaning. We never got on the same page.

See, that's a sketch I'd quite like to see as well. Yeah, yeah. Just like, oh, I was not laughing at you, I swear. And me being like, I just want a compliment. She might have been deliberately winding me up now. She might have thought you arrogant little shit going around trying to get compliments for your sketch. Yeah, I know you're fishy. Yeah.

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Do you know what? I think I vaguely remember it, but then it's like, because this is in, actually, you know, maybe I don't because I'm going to say now. How old do you reckon you are? Five, I reckon. Maybe five. Right. So, so, so I'm going to get corrected on this again, I'm sure. I love the way that your mum's presence is here, that you know you're going to get, you're going to get corrected. Next time, if we do one of these, I'm just going to invite her. Yeah, I mean, you know, you can, you can see why.

people like Ramesh just going to say it's like rubbish. Yeah, just get her involved. I can't be bothered. I've got memories of this, but then it might be the wrong memories because I've got Okay, so you're wearing a lion suit and I assume it's for a fancy dress at a fair. You look like you're at a fate. Yes, and I think it's, I think it's in Bambri, right, five. And I think it was like the fancy dress was the circus and you had to go dress a circus character. Uh-huh. You don't look very happy about it. No. Well, well, Well, I don't remember what my mood was, but I think I wouldn't be surprised if it's a classic example of me getting really excited about doing something, us managing somehow to get a lying costume from somebody. We would have borrowed that.

Right. So someone would have inexplicably had that. Yeah. And we would have got to borrow it. And I would have been super psyched about doing it. And I would have been too hot in it. and then I would have been very annoyed that the day wasn't as amazing as I

because I probably at that age would have literally thought I was going to be a lion for a day and I would have been excited about that and then it would have been actually I'm just wearing something very hot and I don't get the benefits of this everyone else gets to see a lion and I don't I get to be in the dark and really hot

and this is awful and I reckon I would have taken that off and refused to have it on anymore and then for the photo, instead of putting it on my head, holding it there. And so you get the drift. I'm a lion. Yeah. Yeah. You can see that. But also I would have wanted to be in the photo. I would have wanted my face to be in the photo. So there's a lot of what becomes the adult James going on. It's sort of like, I used to wear, have you ever worn a zip suit as an adult? I don't think I have. No. No, I used to do it for a job. I avoid fancy dress. Oh yeah, fancy dress is awful.

I used to wear outfits like that when I left college. I used to do children's entertaining and wear things like that to sort of for a job. It's awful wearing those outfits. What kind of stuff? A mouse. I was Mrs. Mouse. And I couldn't be mini mouse because obviously there's Disney copyright. So I had to be Mrs. Mouse where they sort of some else swerved any expense.

And he used to go to these big fancy houses in Holland Park and like the wealthy parts of London and just turn up for these rich kids parties and make an appearance and have all these kids hanging off you while you're wearing an outfit like you're wearing in that picture. And you can't really see, you're just looking through these big gauze eyes and you can't breathe.

And you're angry and you're bitter because you're broke. And you have to have these kids bouncing off you for, I think I got like six quid an hour to do this. Oh, it was awful. I think it was one of the most humiliating jobs I've ever had. I've done kids gigs before, like, as a comic. and at MacFest I did kids I used to do a kids gig there every time I did it and it got more and more out of hand the more kids that showed up and one year there was like

just hundreds of kids it was in a big room and it was kind of an improvised show where I'd get them to suggest stuff and I think one of the little kids had heard that in the past kids have got on stage and stuff and been a part of the show and right at the start of it the most adorable little kid just walked up to the stage and she asked to come up. Well, she didn't even ask verbally. She just motioned and pointed and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she came up. I haven't even said anything yet.

And then she pointed at the mic and I was like, yeah, there you go. And then she was like, oh, the kids, get on the stage right now. And then all the kids rushed the stage, hundreds of them. And I was just out, I just couldn't control them for the whole show. It was a really high stage as well. So dangerous. So like, some of them are running backwards and stuff to try and get in my eye line to get my attention

to their suggestion or make it in the show. And they're just on the lip of the stage. And it ended with just like absolute bedlam. The end of the show was just all of them on the stage at once, just going berserk while like the mums and dads clapped because it was the end of the show. And one of the kids had grabbed the mic stand. And he's the only kid who had been good for the whole thing.

He'd been well behaved. And then he's like, at the last second, he just spanned out of control and he grabbed the mic stand it was a boom mic stand so he was holding it like a machine gun like him in the war and pointing it at my crotch

and firing it like a gun and shouting in the penis over and over again I remember him looking down the clip where the mic goes into he was using that as the site like a sniper and looking down it and going

in the penis in the penis and I was thought I know when else could hear him Because he didn't go because I only I could hear him. I bet your face wasn't disillim of her in that picture. Yeah, it's exactly the same. Yeah, exactly the same.

You're the yiggy pop of the child comedy circuit. Yeah. Rushes the stage. So I reckon this next picture you probably are about 13. It's like a catalogue photograph of just James hanging out in a red T-shirt. This is why I should have chosen them. Right. Do you want to not do this one?

Oh, no. I absolutely want to do this one. Let the people see it. I think it's only fair. But I would say that until my mother sent me these photos, I was unaware that I ever looked like this. Okay. And it is quite the shocker.

Because like, I see photos of me as a little kid. I'm like, what an adorable little kid, real cute little kid. And you see him as a teenager. And this one, I look at that and go, I must have been stung by a bee that day. and had some sort of reaction to it. Like, it's, my nose is like way, looks way bigger than it's ever been before on my face. My, my, my face is much more puffed up.

I don't know, well, I know that for a long time, I refused to ever do anything with my hair. Right. And I would get it cut, just a, I'll just say a trim every time that I went to get it cut. Right. And then do, I would wash it, but I wouldn't do anything else with it. And, I mean, that there, what I don't even know, I couldn't, I mean, I know my hair's not exactly tidy these days. But my God.

I think it's cool. It's got a kind of punky vibe to it. Do you know who took it? Who took the photo? Probably my dad, I think just because my dad was taking photos more when we were growing up. Right. Like my mum takes a lot of nature photos now and they're really amazing photos of like, you know, wildlife and stuff. but like my dad was taking a lot of the family photos then

and would have, he would have known what he was doing with that photo as well. Yeah, it looks like someone knows what they're doing. I'm going to try and make this hideous teenager look as nice as I possibly can. You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on Tullis' five-year rate plan price lock.

Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus, more peace of mind with your business. over five years. This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at tellus.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. So what's going on here? I genuinely wish I had that painting. So we, some of us in, I don't know how we were picked for it. Probably just randomly by the teacher when she had to pick, you know, pick people to do it. But like about five of us, I think, got to go to the Alfred East Gallery.

in Ketrin, it's not heaving. No, it's not the tape. You know, no, so you kind of get there and it is just you and your mum and dad and the same guy who works there and has done for decades. So did you like school? Was you happy at school? No, hated it. Really?

Yeah, but I didn't act like I was hated. I hated it. That's the thing, is like I was quite a good kid and quite well behaved and didn't really get in trouble that much, apart from one year, year seven, first year secondary school, was the worst year of school because I had a form tutor who just took a dislike to me, didn't like me

and I went from never really getting in trouble in primary school like up until that point I probably got told off or in trouble like I could count them on one hand it was like nothing I was very very well-behaved kid and wanted to be well behaved as well

that's crucial like I wanted to be good and that's probably the Christian stuff as well and then like going to second year school when I had a form tutor who just didn't like me and it was fucking horrible and like I still with her wants to I I'd say every other month or every three months I'll think about her and I'll be filled of a desire to find out where she is and contact her and go here's all the things I wasn't

smart enough to say to you at the time because I didn't understand that's amazing but that everything you did was out of order and if you You did drama therapy, like I'd play her and then you'd get to say all the things. Oh, it's like an X. You're like, why didn't you like me? Why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of like, just, it's the only time in school that I felt bullied.

So I was never bullied by any kids. Oh, God, from the teacher. But like, she was like, also apparently like the first year she'd been there, just the second year of teaching, the first year of teaching they'd walked all over her, so she was trying to be a bit more hard ass. but she still couldn't do it with the actual naughty kids So we had naughty kids in our class We had one kid who's called Barry

Excellent But did what he ever wanted And she just let him do it And with me it was like I once had to stand up for an entire lesson When everyone else was sat down Because I was slouching in my chair Oh, okay

Barry Moore used to swing back on his chair On two legs And smacked chunks out of his wooden desk With a metal ruler And it was fine Yeah Barry Moore couldn't smoke fags in And blue spook in her face And got away with it

done what he wanted and with me it was like slouching and she just both stand up for the whole listen so she was like and i'd get detentions and stuff like that and like i remember going back with my first pink slip to my parents and being like terrified that i was going to get like because you feel like it's like double getting in trouble because you get in trouble with the teacher yeah you got to go home uh but although my parents were actually fine about it but like i still had this like big fear and i got about three detentions from her i think and uh i wonder what a beef was with you just didn't like me i mean there was there was one lesson where she sent me out it was a spelling test and she just from my perspective I was doing the

spelling test and from out of nowhere she went get out and I didn't know what had happened like I literally was very I and I kind of was waiting outside in this there was this other room so it wasn't the corridor just other room I was just waiting there I was thinking I was literally racking my brains because I was like well I'm about to get told off and I'm scared of this person as well she keeps on doing this to me but I don't know what I don't know what I've done and she came in and she sat down and she went I meant it really clearly but she looked at me for a while

without saying anything and I was kind of sitting there and she went you think you're it like that and I was like I was still trying to rack my brains

and I said no I don't which is almost tragic that I said that as well it's just heartbreaking you're a kid of 11 and apparently what I'd done was she thought that I was in the spelling test

that I thought the spelling test was too easy and I'd gone like that But she's projected loads of crap on TV So what I've done was I At that age as well Like this is going to sound so Such a weird

Because it was such a prophetic argument I had to have with her Because like basically And it's gone away now But I used to have a heart murmur Growing up So I breathed really deeply And some other kids would take the piss at me for it

In like Oh my God this is so tragic It's like something else I literally had to say to her I was going to ask my dad I've got a heart murmur Oh my God But I was like that's why I breathed

I was like I didn't even realize I'd done it She was like whatever Because like Oh she sounds horrible She's really horrible But she almost didn't like me Because I was like I think she thought

That like that whole you think you're it I think she thought Oh he's a smart kid Which I wasn't like Mega smart There were smarter kids In the class But like

I was like I could do the way work and she didn't like that for some reason. Right. You just unraveled her. She just could, yeah. Also, she could, she could break me. She couldn't break the other kids.

She couldn't break Barry. She couldn't break the kids that she'd taught the previous year, but she could get to me and for some reason didn't like me either. But that's a bad shit. I mean, she's a grown up and you're a child. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It was mad.

Is there any part of when you're doing your whole once a month little internal monologue with where you go, thank you. you sort of slightly shaped me. No. No? She in no way shaped me. I would say all I got from her was thinking. She must have shaped you because you're still talking about.

Yeah, but all these people. Yeah, but that still shapes you, doesn't it? Yeah, but not in a car doesn't go. Thanks for kicking the side of being getting to the panel. Yeah, but that's extreme. But you, like, let's go, like you went into comedy. You were in a band. There's a sort of irreverence to your sort of, you know, persona.

Like there must be some contribution, a teacher like that. That makes, no. I was on that path already. So like already, from going to church as a kid, right. I was already into playing music and doing, performing comedy live and stuff like that. So I already liked those things. Yeah.

And thought they were fun. And the main reason I liked them was because it made me feel good to watch those things. And it made me feel good to make other people feel good watching them. It was all about positivity with it. I would say in terms of my stand-up, all of my negative, all of my poorer qualities were because of her. Oh, wow. Or people like her.

That she evokes that sense of like, yeah, being unreasonably judged. Yeah, all my defensiveness on stage, all of that kind of stuff. It's funny, though. You being defensive on stage is really funny. I go as far as, I was, I still stick with my theory that she's shaped you somewhere. Because the last gig I saw you do, you went bat-shir, a woman who went to the toilet, and you got about 20 minutes out of it, it was all gold. I'm sorry, enjoyed myself. I don't deny that in those moments I am so, so funny.

However, you see, you've got to thank that woman. However, I don't enjoy them. So, like, I still, so that moment that you saw, even though I know it was funny and I'm glad it was funny. I in the moment don't like it and afterwards I don't like that I didn't. Yeah, no, I understand. Because you're not in control of it in a way. You're genuinely cross.

And it's not what I wanted the show to be. It's like if someone, you know, if you want to see a band play and they're like a folk band and then unplanned and kind of like forced by an audience, they do a metal number. But the audience

love the metal number and then all the audience want is metal for the whole show. And they're like, no, we wanted to carry on playing folk music. we had a folk gig planned and we don't want to play metal play more metal

we love the metal music and I'm like oh no I've got to play metal for the whole show but that's comedy isn't it people doing things sometimes that are unforeseen or you go against your nature

or you being cross is really funny and you know that you know that's part of your brand well I try and I think the thing is is that in all honesty

I know that I'm not funny if I'm not being if it's not coming from a genuine place. Yeah. And I have to then follow whatever genuine emotion I've got in me at the time. Yeah. And so if it is anger or frustration, I just have to lead into it in a comedy way. So even though it is genuine that I'm feeling like that, I have to, and sometimes I fuck it up.

And the audience don't like it. And then it ends up just feeling like I'm angry at them and that's it. And it's like, oh, fuck, I was trying to make it funny and it didn't work. but I think it's just because in that moment it's the fact that people can tell it's genuine. People can tell on Taskmaster that I am genuinely frustrated with God. Yeah, but it's some of the best moments.

And it's not that, and even though to the audience it might seem like I'm just frustrated because I didn't, you know, I wanted points in the task, which isn't what I was frustrated by, I was afraid because he was, I felt like he was being funnier than me.

So it's even more petulant. It's like much more petulant than, that it needed to be. I would have been prouder if it was, I was angry that he was getting points. But yeah, you have to go. Because I think in that moment, like, Tar's Mars is a very good example. There was this moment where I was like,

I am not going to be funny for the rest of this episode or for the rest of the series unless I get this out of my system. Wow. Because unless I get this out of my system, I'm going to sit here and sulk for the whole thing. And all that's going to happen is I won't make the edit because I won't say anything. Right.

And I'll be sitting here looking sulky. And so even like the wide shots, I'll have ruined them because I'll be sitting here in the salt. And if I don't purge myself of this now and go off on a rant and then completely have it out of my system and not, then I can't enjoy myself again. Well, that's brilliant to have that self-awareness. Self-awareness is kind of, you know, a good thing to have. Certainly as a performer that you can navigate and engineer your moods in a way that services you on a panel show. Because often when people are on a panel show, they kind of, what is, for you. straight in is that they're out of control.

They feel out of control. Do you know what I mean? It can feel like, like it can feel once the music starts and you're on, this thing just runs away and you're like running to catch it up. And you go, oh, if I'd done that and done that and done that and, you know, you can do that.

Like you said on Taskmaster, you were able to go, right, I know that if I behave like this, it's not going to go well. Also at the time, I just thought, on that Taskmaster episode, I thought, if I just do this, if it's not funny they won't put it in.

Yeah. And if it, but I will still get it out my system. Yeah, it's win-win. Again, it's a painting and a photo. It's win-win. You get a tantrum on a panel show. Yeah. Because that was episode nine, I think.

And episode 10 was my favourite episode we did in the series. Like I loved it. And I don't think I would have loved it if I hadn't got that out of my system. It's all part of the journey of it. Although Rod probably hated episode 10. It was what shouted out by that fucking dickhead. Well, it was very funny. So this picture of you and Nish and some cake, more cake.

Absolutely. That's my birthday. Oh, really? Are you in America there? No, I'm in Brixton. Oh, cool. Down the road. Yeah, that's my birthday, um, 20, 18, 2019, I'll say.

And I've always wanted to, when I was discovering all these different places, I wanted to have a whole day. where I just did a crawl around Brixton Village and had like one dish in each place and did that all day and I've always really wanted to do that so for my birthday whatever it was last year, the year before

I was like, you know, I want to do that and just have as many friends come as possible you can come and go but we're just going to eat all day and that was in the morning that was breakfast

Oh great, cake for breakfast basically there's a place called burnt toast cafe in Brixton where you make your own toast but everything else they make for you but there's toasters around and you can just make your own toast

how you want it and all this and it's good for it and I went there once and the lady who owns it is lovely and she's a massive fan of Mock the Week which obviously I didn't know

the first time I went there but she moved to England a few years ago and basically learned English by watching Mock the Week and so it's kind of like really obsessed with it and has a personal connection to it because like she you know we all taught her to speak English.

Oh that's amazing. So I went there and she was really nice and had a chat with her and stuff the first time I went there. So on my birthday, because it was like loads of my mates, a lot of which had been on mock the week. Oh really? So Nish is there. Who else is there? Ed Gamble was there for that bit. Phil Wang was there.

I think that was all the people who've been on. Oh so she must have loved it Or the whole one week I thought I won't tell them Because if I tell them I'm going to take you to a place Where she doesn't walk the week And she'll freak out if she sees you

I'm sorry I won't do that Because if I tell them they won't go Right But it'll be fun for her And like I just really want to see her reaction Because she's very animated And it's almost a bit of a laugh for me But like we'll go

And so we're sitting down And she's inside And we're sitting down outside And she sees us all And she's like Oh my God And she comes out and she says hello to me

and then she goes she turns out and she's like Ed Gamble like that and then she turns to Phil and she's like Phil Waz and then she turns to Nish

and goes Nick Nick and like we all love that she's called him Nick and Nish doesn't correct her no so it just stays as Nick

yeah he's Nick today and then she comes out to take our orders and she's saying to everyone like Ed what would you like her? She goes to Nish and she goes Big Nick! Where she said Big Nick, I fucking lost it. And I loved it so much

and it was like, that'll tell you, it's the happiest they've ever seen me. You do look really happy with that photograph. Just the voice that you, Big Nick! And then she was very nice and bought out a slice of cake because it was my birthday as well. But like, obviously all day was just us getting progressively more drunk

and saying big nick. Oh, love me. That sounds like a great. Big Nick. Listen, thank you so much, James. Thank you. You've got some great pictures there. Next time, you know, select five as requested.

So that we can... Feels like another life. Completely alien now. Yeah, weirdly. So I'm hoping we'll get some form of it back. I can't live like this forever. It's ridiculous. Absolutely.

That's it for this week. The rest of Series 1 is available with all the photos on our Instagram page and Jen and I will be doing new episodes every week. Thanks for listening. Bye.

I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally,

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I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday?

I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday. Thank you.