Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S01 E06: Jen Brister (Kerry only... kind of)

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

"I was like... Is there an all female tent... I'm going there! If anything is going to happen tonight's the night... And then there were 6 women in there, 3 of which reading magazines." Kerry chats with soon to be co-host Jen Brister about her favourite photos Photo 01 - Jen, Her Brothers and Her Exhausted Mum Photo 02 - Jen On Her Prom Night Photo 03 - Jen at her University Comedy Course Photo 04 - Jen and her Friends at Sydney Mardi Gras PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's annoying. What? You're a muffler. You don't hear it? Oh, I don't even notice it. I usually drown it out with the radio. How's this? Oh, yeah.

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Each episode, I take a trip down Memory Lane with a very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos that we're talking about, they're all on the episode image and you can also see them a bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together So when you were asked to do this podcast Did you think, oh I know what photos I want And I know where they are? My anxiety. No, I did it. I knew where some of the photos were

And I just decided to look under my bed And if they weren't in there, then they didn't exist. My mum's got loads of photos, but I just... And she keep them in albums? She does, but I went round to see her, she didn't know where the album was. Could I go up in the loft? Oh, by the way, could you look in the garden? There's something in the shed I need you to get out.

Oh, could you mow? the law and then I was like, forget the photos, I'm out. Does this make you sad or anxious or are you okay with it? What, the photos? Yeah. A little bit sad. Yeah, I feel a bit sad that there are photos that I think are gone. They're gone.

There are loads of photos that are gone, which I'm like, oh, what happened to the photo? My mom's like, I don't know, you have it. I said, I don't know where it is. And I'm like, oh, that's a bit. I've got a friend who takes no pictures and she doesn't apologize. She's just going forward in life, not recording any moments. That's my brother. Really?

I was like, have you got any photographs of him? are the ones I've taken. He doesn't have any photos. Is that a decision he's made? He's like, I never think to say, he just never occurs to him. And he never gets sad that he's got no record, no visual record of his life.

Doesn't seem to give a shit, no. I envy that. This friend of mine that's like that, I envy it. Because she's not like troubled by it. And I just sort of think, you're the kind of person. Like, you know that old fable,

The Hen and the Bread where the hen and, I can't remember how it goes. This is probably not going to... No, wait a second. The hen and the bread, she, somebody, made some bread. No one helped her make the bread.

But they all wanted to eat the bread. But at the end they wanted to make that. She was like, can you help me make the bread? And I'm going to eat the fucking bread. So that fable, right? Yeah. I said that to my friend that takes no pictures. I'm like, well, you're thoroughly enjoying being in a load of photographs that we all

send to you and blah, blah, but you're not taking any photographs. You're not stressing about worrying about taking photographs. This is the hen and the bread. So she's not the hen or the bread. You're the hen. And she's the other. She's the other animal one in a slice of bread. So you don't have to take a photo of them if you don't want to

You don't know but when you're at a party You can't go get out Helen You're not welcome in this photograph You don't take pictures Therefore you can't be in pictures You've made your choices So let's have a look at your first picture This is a picture of my mum

And my And her four children of which I am one And we're all sitting on a brown sofa around 70's sofa with a floral yellow wallpaper which we had four years we had that wallpaper where is this taken in a living room in our house in Kingston upon thames and the I don't like the look at the state of that flipping sofa we had that sofa feet we never had any you do not see a sofa like that anymore I mean basically what gives away these 70s photographs is the interiors, isn't it? It's like that wallpaper

and that sofa screams 70s. There's so many clashing patterns. But when I was a kid the 70s, I seemed to remember a lot of these interiors, this is quite an evocative 70s interior. We changed that, right, that's yellow, then we changed that, I don't know how many

years later, it was sort of brown flock. But it's quite key your childhood wallpaper. Mine had animals on it. I went in my daughter's room the other day because she's going through her teens, which we've discussed at length. I mean, it's dressing me out she's into slipnot now and i bought her these really lovely i don't want to talk about it but i bought her these lovely little stickers of birds to put on her wall like stencils no no they're

stickers they're all stickers and they're really pretty i mean maybe a little bit twee but for a kid that's going into her teens and into slipnot basically i was in her room tidying up and she'd drawn horns on this blue tick and written six six six on it i was like oh do you remember adrian maud when he paints over it he paints his room over his noddy wallpaper. It's like, why is this a thing, like kids entering that chapter of life and then... Because it's like you're setting particular boundaries and you're setting particular precedence for them as to who they are as people. Like you've said, this is who you are.

Your daughter, you've said, this is who you are and this is who I want you to be and you're projecting all of this. And then at some point they turn around and go, I don't want to be what you want me to be. Six, six, six, six. Six, six, six. Jones, ma'am. And I think girls get there a lot quicker than boys. Why does your mum look so pissed off? Because she has one, two, three, four children under the age of five.

So she's exhausted. So that is the face of a woman that needs a break. Yeah, this looks like a still from a documentary from the 70s of a woman who's on the verge of a nurse breakdown. Well, I mean, it basically is. I mean, you know, that is. And the thing is, I've looked at that photo before and all I noticed about it before was the fact that my mum looked so young. But now I look at it and I think, oh mum, you look like you need a break.

Yeah, must have been tough. You look like you needed a holiday or something. Does your mum talk about this time in your life? Does she sort of reflect on it? Well, I always say, because I look at it and I think, because I've got, we've got two kids, you know, we've got two kids and I find that like, I just find two children just, and obviously twins is hard as well.

I just don't, we barely cope. I just don't know how my mum coped with four. And my dad was not what you would describe as a hands-on. He wasn't, he was away a lot with work. Right. Or when he was at home, he was like, well, I've been to work. Now I'm resting. I'm resting now.

What time's dinner? He wasn't the guy that was like, I'll help put the kids to bed. Archetypearl 70s, dad. Yeah, he was like, well, I've been to work. So you're, this is your job and I've done my job. Yeah, yeah. So he had, he would disagree out that? Or was that just, well?

I think she sort of did after a while, but I think at that point she was still accepting that as normal. Are you close to your mum? Yeah, I'm very close to my mum, yeah. But I look at that. When I say to mum, why the hell did she put up with that? She was like, oh, but I really enjoyed it. She genuinely enjoyed being a mum.

Yeah. In a way that I'm not saying I don't, but if I didn't have work, I would like, oh, no. But that was just be. That's what she wanted. That is what she wanted. And she always wanted big family. Yeah, she always wanted four children.

So she got four children. Yeah. I just can't imagine. I can't imagine. I mean, that's an army. And also in that photo, it was always chaos our house. Really? Absolute chaos.

Happy chaos? Yeah, happy chaos. But chaos is just completely, because you've got four kids and someone is always kicking off. How, I mean, do you think being in a big family has sort of shaped who you are? Probably, yeah, I think. Because I can't imagine having three siblings. How many have you got? You got one brother.

One brother. Yeah. And my mom is. is the only girl of, she's got three brothers. Has she? And my dad is one of the same, the three boys and one girl. So when I was growing up, I thought all families, by law, had to be three boys and one girl.

So you fit into my childhood expectation of what a family's supposed to be. And I kept thinking, when are the other two boys going to turn up in my family? Did you want to have more brothers? No, I always pined for a sister. I did as well. Really?

Yeah, I wanted a sister. I can imagine if you've got three brothers, you must think, oh God, I could do with a sister. thought having a sister one of them would be like we'd just be really close yeah just share secrets and things rather than just being constantly in a headlock having someone give me a woody or a dead arm or a Chinese burn are you like that now with them I tell you what I can't remember when it was but I two of my brothers it was Greg and Steve we were at a friend's house it was like a barbecue

or something and I was standing talking to a mate with a with a drink and I was you know and I'm an adult yeah and then out of nowhere two of my brothers rugby tackled me to the floor and then just bundled me and I'm like in my 30s at this point and all I remember was and I thought my spine's gone that's it

but not angry you weren't angry it's just normal I was a little bit angry I was like you've winded me I think my spine is now sticking out in my bum hole and where's my drink

but that was just normal yeah that is completely normal and I think when people used to come around our house most of my friends had like a sibling they just thought it was our house was mad Was it hard to get solitude growing up? No, there was no solitude.

There was none. So you don't have any memories of being alone in your room playing? If I wanted to be alone, I'd have to get on my bicycle. And then, because you could be alone in your room, but not for long. Right. You'd be able to hear people screaming outside your door or my brothers would always just come in. There was no one, there was no knocking, there was no privacy. There was no like, oh, I might be getting undressed or it was just like, uh, yeah, people were just coming in and out.

And my mum wouldn't put locks on doors. She was like, she didn't believe in having locks on doors. So there was no opportunity, even if you're having a poo, oh God. People would be coming in. Family life, man. Like, you would be having a shit and then my brother would come in and go, I got clean my teeth and were like, well, can you wait because I'm having a poo?

And you'd be like, I've got to do it now. You're like, get out! I can just remember being on the toilet screaming, get out. But you accept it. It's completely long. Yeah, yeah. But equally, if my brother was, you know, having a bath or a shower and I'd just come in and it would be the same.

Yeah. Can you get out? I'm trying to have some privacy. Yeah. There was no privacy. It was like, if I'm not having any privacy, mate. And neither are you. Yeah.

So you must really value it now, like you say. Yeah, yeah, I do. And I think that as you get to, like when you get to your 20s, I don't know, you need your, you're, obviously, you're still closer to being a child than an adult, but you are an adult. And all of those things that you're not even sure why you need them, that shape who you are as a person. You might be a person like me that likes a lot of alone time. That just becomes magnified, doesn't it? But then equally, I know a lot of my mates who are like, I hate being in a moment. I just actually hate spending any time by myself.

I wonder if conversely someone did grow up alone, an only child, craves company because they didn't have it when, I mean, I don't know. It's not an amateur psychology, but you go, I wonder if those things do. I always have found it fascinating. People invest so much in astrology or whatever, but not in how many siblings you have and what age you are in the zing. Because that sort would shape your personality more than what day of the year you were born. I just think astrology is a load of old shit.

I'm sure that a lot of having a younger brother, must slightly inform a little bit of who I am. Or you being part of such a big family, sounds like it informs who you are. Of course, and also, even if it doesn't inform you, it will always inform who you are the second you go back into your family. Yeah.

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in the UK and Ireland Nursing Register. Don't miss out. Free access ends August 24th. Visit Ancestry.ca for more details. Terms apply. Okay, so this is a picture of me. 16 years of age. just, I suppose, about to take my GCSEs. Oh, Jen. And my mum... Jen, you look like Frida Carly. Look at that. I've got one eyebrow.

Very much have one eyebrow. I did start plucking it when I was about 17, 18. You look beautiful. I've never seen you in a dress. You look beautiful. And you never will. So you don't look very comfortable in it. Well, I'm not.

But you do look beautiful. So I've got. I've got, my mum has put my hair in curlers and ours, my mum put my hair in curlers. And my mum used to like it. Any time she could get me to look like a girl, it just used to make her so unimaginably happy. Yeah. So this opportunity for me to be put in a dress. I mean, you're in a proper prom dress.

I mean, a ball. Yeah. Did this go to the floor, this gal? Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful. I mean, to be honest, all of it went to the floor because I didn't have any tits. So I couldn't keep the dress up. And at one point.

That's a lovely bit of cleavage you've got out there, mate. Well, I mean, I mean, that's a, I was a double-eighthits, so there wasn't much to keep. Just to like, for those people who aren't able to see the photograph, basically, I'm wearing like a dress and it has a black and velvet bodice. And it's got these bits that sort of, they're supposed to hang on the shoulder. Right, yes. But they're nearly at your elbow there. But they're not really at my elbow. And what gradually happens, because I don't have a bosom to keep the bodice up, which is what your breasts are supposed to hold.

They pay their part. They're scaffolding, aren't they? They're the scaffolding. They're the scaffolding for that. But when, because I didn't have any, what actually happened was, is that the top, the bodice would just fall just below my tits. But it's racy.

I mean, it's very, you know what it reminds me of? It does, this is probably around the time of desperately seeking Susan. It's got that slight Madonna-y vibe to it, a little bit slutty. It was even racier when my nipples were above it. But anyway, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's too much. That's too much, yeah. And that happened several times during the ball.

I had to have a friend who'd go, can see your tits. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Was that in like why? MCA, always when you do a higher Y for the YMCA8, it might get out. Well, at least, no, I think if I'd done the Y, at least, oh yeah, you're right. No, no, it takes the dress down.

I'd have had the weddings. Oh, yeah, yep, yeah, yeah. So this is a black velvet bodice that we've talked through with a very low cut. And then it's not supposed to be that low. It's because I didn't have any boobs to keep the bloody thing up. Because you remember, that whole thing should have been higher. Right. Do you see what I mean?

I think it works. And then underneath, you've got a pink, was this like a raffia taffeta? Yeah. Taffeta, Raffirata. taffeta. Yeah, like very full skirt down to the floor. It had petticoats underneath it. Oh, wow.

So, and it had this pink net over the top. A tool net. Tool, tool, tool. What's a tool? T-U-L-L-E. Is it that? Netting. Netting.

Netting. Netting. Toul. Is it? Tula. Okay. Well, I feel like you might have made that up. I didn't.

All right, okay. I'm going to go with it. I had a tool. I had a big old tool under the dress. And, um, it's quite. Lesbian to say that. That's a bit upsetting, isn't it? And the whole outfit, and then you sort of everybody,

but I turned up and everybody else was just wearing a little black dress. LBD? And you'd failed half what you'd failed from the waist. No, I was wearing something that like, oh God, an actual ball gown. And nobody else. Everyone was just wearing a really tight fitted dress above the knee, sort of, you know, something that they'd picked up from Chelsea Girl. Where did you get this?

It was rented. My mom took me somewhere to have it rented. The whole thing was mortifying to turn up in a fucking ball gown. Did you have a feeling that you were dressed wrong? I knew I was dressed wrong. No, but I mean, did you feel prior to going? Oh, yeah. Right.

And she forced you to wear it. Oh, yeah. But my mum is a very forceful woman. Yeah. And you can't argue. And that's when I was like, I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go.

I don't want to go. And did you have any pleasure on the evening? I think I did actually. I think in the end my mates, after taking the piss up of me for about 50 seconds. You see, because they didn't really. You could rock that. I mean, as well as desperately seeking Susan, it also reminds me of pretty and pink because the colour,

this, do you remember the Molly Ringwald film? I know. So if you'd rocked that, maybe with a DM, that would have been, you could have owned that outfit. I would have loved to have gone in with the DM, but it was just a little bit before the grunge time. And also, there's absolutely no way in God's green earth

my mum would have let me take my DMs. Because I had a pair of DMs. You could have hidden them in a bush and shimmied down a drain pipe and done the whole Rizzo thing. I was actually too scared of my mum to do any of those things, but yeah, yeah. Well, I know, you've always said you're a bit scared of your mum and I didn't know the extent of that until I saw you in that dress. Yeah, no, you know.

Now I'm like, wow, you're really scared of your mum because I can't believe she got you in that. I know. But that was the last time she got me into something like that. It's a great picture, Jen. It's a really lovely photograph. Your face is absolutely brilliant. There's so much going on there. Did you get off with anyone at this party?

No. Was you out at this time? No. Hence the dress. It's very much not out. You couldn't have. Kerry, think back to when you're at. school in the 90s, would you have, not that you needed to come out, but was anyone coming out?

No. I mean, as it turns out, I now know a lot of the girls that went to school with are gay. Yeah. But we didn't know that we were gay at the time and they didn't know they were lesbian. So like, you could have had such a better night if you don't. Oh my God, we would have had so much more fun if all the lasers had just got in the corner and and just admitted. Yeah.

I snogged each other and admitted all the other ones. I've always fancied seven, so, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah. So, no. You love to do one of those like therapy sessions where you go back to that night and reclaim it. I think I also, I was still like in denial. So I was kind of pretending to fancy boys, which actually if you pretend for long enough, I got quite good at it. Really?

And I almost probably believed it. I mean, your chits are out. You must have had a good, good. Oh, yeah. I do remember there's a guy in the sixth form who everyone fancied who did spend a lot of time talking to me. And I realised it was because my left nipple had been hanging out for the entire time you were talking. But at the time I was like, he's really into me. he was really into our left nipple but yeah

it's great picture but I but I do think that there's something about the awkwardness of adolescence which that picture captures so perfectly and also it was very skinny and thin and flat chested and about a year later I ballooned and I put on loads of weight and that was probably because I was unhappy and in the closet so this just captures something before that all happened just before that happened yeah What's your next picture of?

So the next photograph is my final year at university and you can see if you focused in on it that I am quite a chubster in this and this was at a farm in Wales that we went to which was where we did a three days or four days where are you? I can't see you. What do you mean where am I?

Okay let's play spot the gen. I mean it's not that hard. That isn't you is it? That person in the background line on the floor that's what was those those that that's two pairs of knees yeah yeah so that's not you uh I mean child

when there were no children at my uni hang on who the hell's that oh no I don't know who that child is a random child in a uni picture yeah I think that child were the children of the people that own the farm anyway keep going this is great

this is like uh the larkins in where are you you see I my fingers want let me Keep looking. I really want to do that. You know, when you make your fingers expand it.

Because I, like a lot of pictures of this time, I can't quite, whoever took it, you want to say, like, come in a bit. Zoom in. Why are you so far away? I know. Oh, there you are. For heaven's sake. You look really cross and, yes, you've got long hair still.

When did you cut your hair short? 1998, I think. Seven. This is a really 90s picture, like, sartorily, this is the 90s. It's 96. I mean, all the baggy t-shirts and billowing skirts and trousers. And also trousers, trousers, there's a few trousers in there with elastic waists or drawstring trousers. I mean, bring that back.

I'm so into that. Yeah, I love an elastic waist. Why didn't we, why are we not wearing trousers with drawstrings now? I know. Why did we stop doing that? Anyway, there I am. There you are. And who's this with their arms around you?

That is Danny Parry. Girl Danny or boy Danny. Girl, Danny. Girlfriend? No. Well, clearly he wants to be. I remember this sort of drama uni thing where people just massaged each other

I always remember that people had their arms around each other We're just friends We're like oh get room I tell you what there was a lot of Hand holding Hand holding Where people would just be

We'd all be sitting around And then someone would just hold someone's hand And I always remember looking at going What the fuck are you holding each other's hat? Stop it. We're not eight Is she your mum I do sort of get it now with retrospect

But at the time There was one girl I went to uni with was always massaging boy's legs. I was like, oh, Vickie. Come on. And don't think for a second they weren't enjoying that. How far up did she go? Oh, far.

No, if you could see the bloke's like, all right, then. It's all right, Vicki. I'm just going to have to quit a nip to the loop. It was like a sort of LA workshop in just letting go. There was a lot of massage in drama. I don't know if they still do that anymore, but I do remember doing one of those things where you had to lie down and then your partner massage you.

And then I remember there was a girl that was very keen on massage in the inner of my thigh. And I was like, no, you know, I don't really want that. And she was like, it's part of the massage. It's part of the experience. It's about trust. And I was like, well, I feel, don't kind of trust you. No.

There were so many, like, massages in drama courses and trust games where people are literally, like, falling on the floor, expecting someone to catch them. Oh, yeah, there was a lot of that. I'll bet there's a lot of people that went into drama teaching to have a little. Oh, well, there's certainly in that, certainly in our course. I've heard many a story over the years of drama. I'm a teacher's going, come on, we've got to go in this cupboard,

you've got to do this, because it's a trust thing. Please take off your top. Yeah. I need to see your tits to know that you trust. Yeah. I, if we are going to have any kind of relationship, I need to be allowed to massage your breasts. Please take your top off. This is all about trust.

It's terrible, isn't it? And there was a load of that. So we're, so is at the end of the course. So this, so this, so this, so this, so we were you, we were doing a stand-up comedy course, okay? Oh, really? And that was, that was when I first did stand-up, okay? So, how old do you hear?

I'm 21. So we went away for a weekend or not a weekend or whatever the, I don't know, I don't know how the fuck it was. And you went away for three or four days. And then you were working on your five minutes that you were going to eventually do to, to, to an audience for your final performance.

And so we were all, I realize now is that we were all terrified. And there was quite a lot of drinking and bonding and, yeah. And I just remember that. didn't really enjoy university, but I really enjoyed that weekend. Do you think that was a key moment for you that's when stand up? Definitely. Yeah.

Well, when I got a taste for it, but I mean, it took me years after that before I started to actually do it as an open micah. But I did, then, I was like, wow, this is, this is like literally the pinnacle of any kind of performance that we've done up until that point in terms of acting or improv or any of that or physical theatre. That was what I was like, oh. And did any of that material you cooked up in that five minutes? Did any of it make its way into your sort of early set?

I really wish I could remember what on earth I was doing, but I seemed to remember it was appalling. But when I performed it, you felt great. Family and Friends, I felt like Bill Hicks. And did you get like feedback? Were people affirming that you were good at this? Yeah, they were like, Jen, you... This is it.

Mate, you've definitely got a thing. You could do this for a living. And I was like, yeah, I think I could. And is that a happy memory? Yeah, I mean, subsequently, when, and died in my hole everywhere. But what's lovely about this photograph is it captures that the beginning...

That's the beginning of me... Of a career and a life. I see. I mean, that's so weird to think of it as a beginning of a career. But it is. It is, yeah. I mean, you went to university, you studied comedy and performance and now you have a career in comedy and performance, yeah. And everyone looks so happy and relaxed,

and it's such a lovely chapter of life that uni time. I know there has its ups and downs, but it's just really lovely to look at that and go, this is the beginning of lots of lovely friendships. Yeah. Where was this farm? Oh God, somewhere in Wales. I mean, I don't know.

Do you think that was quite key to the experience that you were out away? Yeah. You were out of town. We're out of, and it was quite hedonistic. Yeah. There's a lot of booze, a lot of drinking and... A lot of fun. It was loads of fun, yeah.

Well, you do look happy and relaxed with that woman's arms wrapped around. I know. And I still want to know who that child is. I don't know that child. children in these scenarios. I'm like, who is that child? Is that child? Wait.

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Mayor of Kingsdown, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus. Okay, right, let's move on. This photo was taken at Sydney Mardi Gras in 1999, I think. You look amazing. And I did, my friend Kel, who is with the red hair on the right of me, I lived with in Sydney for about four or five months. No, you've been to Australia a lot. I associate you with Australia.

You've had a lot of times there. Yeah, I've done Melbourne a couple of times in the Adelaide Festival a couple of times. Yeah, so I've been over there a bit, yeah. You look amazing. Is this like standard Mardi Gras gear? Yeah. I mean, I'm wearing...

Metallics. I'm wearing more than most people. I mean, there was a lot of people just wandering around with a butt plug up their ass. You're wearing a boob tube. And now, unlike the picture of you at 16. You've got the gear to hold it up. Oh yeah, my tits grew.

Your tits grew. I mean, my hips grew, my stomach grew. Yeah, your body looks wonderful. And you look so happy. I was really happy, yeah. And that was like, because I was finally out of the closet completely. So had you just come out? Well, more or less about six months into coming out.

And I was not saying I was bisexual anymore. I was saying I was a lesbian. Right. I was saying I was gay. And what better to do than go to the morning. I know. Honestly, it was. brilliant and then we did the parade

so we did the whole parade and we did this whole dance routine thing and honestly I've got I cannot dance for love nor money but Kel made me do this as a means of coaxing me out of the closet I suppose was like why don't we just hang out with a load of queer people and see what happens and then like it's about

a weekie and I was like I'm a lesson and he was like oh there's no shit Sherlock so who are the right let's describe this photograph so who are these two boys that you've got your arms around. So, Kell is on the right, who I worked with in a pub in Kingston, and he then moved to Australia. And I, shortly afterwards, and we worked in this mad pub in Kingston with a guy who was ex-SAS, who was the landlord, and he was an alcoholic, extremely volatile, quite

violent. Why are you smiling while you say that? Because it sounds awful. No, because, well, Ken and I got on with him really well, but when I look back, Back on it, the things that used to happen in that pub while we were there were insane. Right. I mean, he was obviously mentally not well. That will bond you and your colleagues. Yeah, so it was a very intense experience. He would come out and have a barrel of lager and then he would like just take the lid off it.

You know, it was pressurized and then it would just explode and just whoever wasn't out of the pub would just get covered in. Oh, God. Or he would literally pick up a guy by the throat, throw him to a wall. I mean, like, but these, I say a guy. there were children because everyone that you're drinking there was underage. Anyway, it was absolutely bad shit. So we became very close friends. He was a hairdresser as well and, you know, gay and out and proud and all that. When he's wearing literally metallic gold hot pants and he's got body glitter on him. So I guess I thought he might be gay. It was such an intense experience.

You know, I don't know if you've ever seen it on telly where they have the dikes on the bikes. No. And they have every sort of quix. every single queer group that sort of exists around Australia they all descend onto Sydney for the mark for Mardi Gras and it's it's amazing yeah it's a parade that goes on for several hours and then there's a huge party afterwards which we because we were in the parade we got free tickets to the party I seem to remember but if you didn't have this picture that memory could have faded yeah so this one photo opens that memory portal and and also it opens up a memory portal of being newly out so not really having any experience or much experience with another woman

and going to this party and so this party is very hedonistic as well so they had I don't know if you've heard of this guy I think he's called troughman do you know I have not heard of troughman you know no you don't know about troughman so troughman he's since died but he was very famous and he used to do this in the UK as well so he would go to big parties gay parties usually, usually exclusively men, but obviously this was mixed. And he just lies in a trough, so, and then you shit on him or you piss on him, and then he would drink and eat the piss on the shit. Oh my God, Jen!

I didn't know where this anecdote was going to go on. I'm so sorry. So really, I just remember. I just remember. So there was like these toilets that you go to, they were basically like, you know, you know, what are they called? You know, they used to have them in Glastonbury where you just do a... Just a drop toilet.

A drop toilet. So you're just pissing or shitting into a trough, into a hole. But it's quite deep. Yes. And I just remember Kale saying, come with me. And I was like, oh, but this is the men. He was like, it doesn't matter. Just come in with me.

And he said, oh, just look down there. And I look down there. It's just a man swimming. So that was a very... That's a very vivid memory. Very vivid memory. Another vivid memory was a man dressed as a centurian with a...

The biggest... penis I've ever seen in my life because it was hanging below his centurion's outfit you know those sort of it definitely was his penis it was definitely a penis because he he had a basically a bolt through it a bolt through a fake penis I've got questions I mean you were young you'd only just come out you were distracting many of them carry it let me tell you it was a real knob I'd have been like no no no I need to see the attachment oh my god then there was a part there was a there was a there was like two places you could go to so they had like um uh like tents there were loads of tents but there was an all male tent and there was an all female tent and the all male tent just looked

like the shit was kicking off there like you couldn't you like you knew stuff was happening in there good times were happening in that tent and i said to my friend i said to my friend it's how you measure good times because chopper man to me does not sing like good time no that was that that that that well that was good times for him he was having ball um so uh basically you'd go past and this you know people would covered in sweat and just like they were having oh god knows what they were doing and there and i said to my friend i said is there an all female tent she went yeah this is just down there and i'm going to that and what was going on in that tent well let me tell you i walked into the all female tent and i was like well if anything's going to happen it's going to be tonight it's going to happen i am home

i am home and tonight is the night i remember i wandered into the tent and there was just six women in there one of whom was clearly taken something that wasn't agreeing with her and was dancing Absolutely, on her own, just bobbing up and down. Why not agree with you? That sounds like agreeing. Well, maybe it was agreeing with her too well because she was like chewing most of her face off. And then there were another three women reading a magazine.

And I was like, this... That's the lesbian term. That is the lesbian equivalent of the hedonism, just three lezzers looking at a mag while another one chews a face off. And not anyone else's face, her own face. It didn't put you off being gay and so you are actually. I just thought, that was, for me, that should have been an inkling as to,

The difference between lesbians and gay men. And welcome to your now life partners, organised, colour-coded books. Would you like to sit down with comparing recipes? It's amazing to compare that to the one of you going to your... Like, what's the year difference between this year at 16 going to your leaveers ball? And then you at Mardi Gras, what, five years? Six years? No, six years?

Yeah. I mean, what a transformation. I know. I am not comfortable here. I don't know who I am. I'm fully out of having a great time. Yeah. I know.

That's a great comparison. I know. That's it for this week. The rest of Series 1 is available with all the photos on our Instagram page. And Jen and I will be doing new episodes every week. Thanks for listening. Bye. I'm Max Rushden.

I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress?

Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger?

What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you yesterday? Like that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.