Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E01: Jason Manford

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

"It's like a Mormon situation... Especially because they are in the same outfit!" Jason takes Kerry and Jen (OUR NEW CO-HOST!!!!) on a walk through his amazing (AMAZING!) life. Photo 01 - Nora's band Photo 02 - Jason's first proper holiday Photo 03 - Jason's first stand-up gig Photo 04 - Banter with The Rock! PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on TELUS's five-year rate plan price lock. Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever, plus more peace of mind with your bill over five years. This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at tellus.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply.

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It looks on. It's on. Switch it. Switch it around. It's on. It's got to look, Joel. Screen grab that for our photo album. Yeah.

Fuck it out. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair. And I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see in the Melry Lane.

a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Hello, Jen. How are you? I just went for a swim. I know you're a lady that likes to swim. We've got a new Lido in Brighton.

Did you know about this? No. Yeah. It's not even a Lido, actually. I don't want to show off because, well, actually. Some people say Lido, just so we should translate. Nobody says. People do.

People say Lido. That's not true. Well, I say Lido, you say Lido, but you have to factor in Lido. I don't have to factor in Lido. That is literally, nobody's ever called a Lido, al-Lido ever. It's like saying, some people call it a mobile, a mobile theme. No, it's oregano and oregano. It's all this.

You've got to scoop everyone in. Okay, well, for those of you that call it Alido, literally go fuck yourselves. I don't care what you think. It's a Lido. Say it like it is, Jen. Just keeping it like. We've got an Olympic 50 metre heated swimming pool, outdoor swimming pool on the beach opening in June.

That's really greedy. You've got the sea. We've got the sea. We've got the sea. And yet now an Olympic 50 metre pool. It's like a bar and like cafes and then there's like a beach box. Great. Where would you like me to throw up? That's, well, that's what this whole bit was for, actually, Kerry.

I literally only brought that up just to see the little bit. Good for you. Just to see you gagging. It's a right and fucking great. Anyway, how's your Lido? Is that all right? My Lido was fine. Thank you. A municipal Lido services all my needs in London. What have you been up to? Tell me what you've been doing.

What have I been doing? I've been on tall, Kerry. I've been on tour. Oh my God, the tour, you're like, share. This tour will never end. It is literally never going to end. Every time I talk to you, you're like, I've added more dates. I'm going right through. I'm going right through the 2028.

I feel like that's reasonable. I'm doing Wembley. I'm putting in bigger room. I'm doing Wembley. Yeah, I'm doing Wembley canteen. How is it going? It's going. Look, it's really, it's really, it's,

It's going great and audiences are lovely. Look at you struggling to be positive. Go on. It's really hard. Okay, push. It's going very well, Kerry. Do it, babe. I'm not used to things going well, that's why.

It's fantastic. I'm seeing you, Kerry. That's nice. I'm seeing you on a screen. On a screen. Yeah. Although, actually, Kerry, I can't even see you. Could you put your head in the screen?

At the moment, I could just see your nose and your mouth. That's it. There you go. This is the best I can do. Honestly, I want to let people know that are listening to this podcast. And I wish we'd recorded it, but we didn't. There was a good 30 minutes lead up to the start of this recording. And it was just trying to watch Kerry Godderman manage herself and microphone,

headphones, her phone, three laptops that don't work. Yeah. Look, this is how I view life. Some things I'm good at, some things I am not good at. Gardening at the moment, I'm really good at. I'm doing really well in that department. That's good. Thank you.

Technology, however, not good at. I think it's okay to have strengths and weaknesses. I think that's being a human being, Jen. Yeah, it is being a human being. Tech isn't a strength of mine. It's not a strength of yours. The surprise on your voice when I spoke to on the phone earlier that you needed a microphone to record a podcast was quite something, actually.

And I will take that. I was like, wow, okay. Well, she really does live on another planet. Have you got a picture to share with me? Yeah, look, yes, I do. And I want you now, look, I need to be transparent and say, I did look for that photograph about half an hour this morning and I can't find it. But I know it's in a box, a bit like this haberdasherry box I've got next to me, Kerry.

Yeah, Chloe's haberdasherry box. Let's be clear about whose box for that is. That's not yours. That's not my box. I've got a different box. And that isn't an euphemism. I just mean I have other boxes. I found this photograph of myself.

So I took my mum to roam pre-pandemic 2019, January 2019. I took my mum to run. She'd always wanted to go and we went. We had a lovely time. And we went to the Trevi Fountain, as you would when you go to Rome. You'd be a full to miss it, I would have thought. Absolutely. And we went in the evening because we wanted to see all the lights and see it lit up and in all its glory.

So we're standing by the Trevi Fountain. fountain and I said to my mum, listen, I'm going to get a photograph of you by the trophy fountain. My mum's like, oh no, I don't, I don't, because my mom never used to like having a photo taken. Long story short, a chap comes up to us and goes, you're beautiful ladies, beautiful ladies, I will take a photo of you, I would take a photo of the beautiful are you sisters? Are you sisters? Are you sisters? I was like, are you sisters? Are you sisters? Are you are sisters? I'm sorry, are you sisters. Are you sisters? Are you sisters? Oh, Oh, beautiful ladies.

And he said, I go, I take a photo of you. And I said, okay, thinking that he was going to take my mobile phone and take a photo of us. He has a polaroid and he takes a polaroid of us. And I thought, oh. Which one? Wow. He tried to charge you a hundred euros for this. Of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he takes this photo and he goes, oh, beautiful ladies, here for the photo. And I went, oh, that's really kind. Thank you very much. And he went, 10 euros. And I went, 10 euros? 10 euros for photo, beautiful ladies. And I went, I said, I'm not spending 10 euros on this photo.

He went, come, 10 euros. I said, I'll do five. I'll do five euros. He said, oh, 10 euros, 10 euros. I said, come on, we'll do it for five. He said, okay. So I gave him, I didn't have five years. I had 10 euros.

So I gave him 10 euros. And he took 10 euros. So anyway, he walks off for 10 euros. That's a successful, Michael. Wow, I have really nailed it. And I said, well, I thought, I said to my mom, well, look, at least we've got this photograph. So, I mean, you know, of us in front of the Trevi Fountain.

So it's dark, so I don't really see what it looks like. And I put it away and I forget about it. And then I take my mum out to dinner and I say, well, let's have a little look at this photo. And I take it out of my pocket. And there is a photograph of my mum and I. Looking, some might say bewildered, but definitely don't look like we're ready to have our photo taken. And completely black behind us. You can't see.

There's absolutely no fountain. It is like darkness. With two women. There could be anywhere. They could be in Hendon services. We could literally be anywhere. In fact, there's absolutely no sign of there being anything behind us. And I was like, I laughed.

I could not stop laughing at this restaurant. But the joy that that 10 euros bought you is worth of three. Honestly, I left it in my draw for ages. And every now and again, I'd forget that it was in. there and that I'd open the draw and see this photograph and it and maybe start laughing again. Absolutely classic. I will find it and when I find it I will stick it up on the old instant because you see you can see it. Anyway we're going to be looking at other people's photos today. Yes, who is our guest today? Jason Manford. The stories this man has, honestly,

does he have a book? Because if he doesn't, he needs to get well out. He must have a book. Of course he's got to have a book. Watch this face. We are here with comedian, actor, writer, singer, presenter, presenter, broadcaster, brother, brother, son, son, father, lover. Friend. It's Jason Mandler. Hello. How are you?

So nice, yeah, I'm really well, thanks. It's so nice to be here. This is serendipitous. Thank you for sharing your photos. Now you said that you struggled a bit to find them or choose them. I did, yeah, because, you know, your phone only goes back so far. Yeah. And then after that, you're like, where are these photos?

So we went through a little phase because my nana is very old. She's 99. Oh, wow. Yeah. And so for about 20 years, every Christmas we go, there's no point of buying her anything because what do you need at this day? She's not going to have, it's not on left, that she? We've been set for 20 years.

So you get to a point where you either take her out so she has a experience and you have a memory of that relationship or photos because old people love photos well everybody but especially old people they love a photo yes so what what my uh it was my my wife's idea what she did was she'd get to this sort of uh that week between christmas and new year when nothing was happening and she would go back through all the photos on our phones on the computers everything together she would spend like two days doing it 27th and 28 yeah and make a year album yes i think it's a lovely thing to to give the gift of someone curating photos.

Yes. The only problem is, my wife would kill me for saying this. There was a point where I had to like just police it a little bit because, well, in our modern world that I live in, I have four children and my ex-wife and me and my wife have two children. Yeah. And there's a couple of albums I was going, it's very your children heavy. So there's some politics. Yeah, but that's the photos I've got the most of.

I'm like, well, yeah. I'm not going to ring your ex-wife. Yeah. You heard to send me. Look, this is a label of lovers, please. Should we start with you when you were little, or do you want to go further back?

Yeah. Because you've got some great ones. You can. We can go, should we go right at the beginning? Let's go. Whatever you want, yeah. Let me have a little bit of a little bit of a lot. What's this picture here that we're looking at?

That is, yeah. That is the Ryan family show band. Okay, talk to us about this. So my grandparents came over from Dublin in the 50s. Yeah. And they were in the. their little folk duo, just the two of them and the guitar, and they played their sort of pubs and clubs in the North West.

And then my, then they had 11 children. Oh my God. And my nana then taught them all instruments and how to harmonise. And that's what they did, you know. And so by the sort of mid-70s. It's like the early cause. Yes, it is, it is, actually. And they, yeah, taught them all how to play instruments and sing and all that.

So all these people in this band are, of each other. All one family. Oh my God. Is it like a Mormon situation? It is. I mean, especially because they're in the same outfits as well. And also the haircuts are all look like Lego sort of hair. It's got culty vibes. It was definitely like if you said and two days later they all killed themselves in a pack, you would go, I can see that. I can see that.

I love that wallpaper in the background. I swear to God, that's the wallpaper we had in our kitchen when I was growing up. That is like the most seven seas. That's like peeling. There's like tobacco sticks. It's a proper venue. Where is that? I mean, I couldn't tell you, but I imagine it is either it's probably the Little Western, which was a little pub in Moss Side, or the Big Western, which was about a mile up the road. And that's where they were pretty popular.

That's where they did their... Bigger Middle Western. They nailed it. Yeah, but it was weird because, like, what's funny was, I remember going, and back then as well, you know Moss Side was you know it was mainly sort of Afro-Caribbean and it was like a big area and then right in the middle of this big neighbourhood was this little Irish pub where this country music was like coming out of the country and Western and Irish folk music was just coming out of the windows you know it's great sounds brilliant we that's where I spent most of my childhood really I feel like we spent you know I have a real

you know when you get a smell of something like a packet of crisp or something yeah prawn cocktail crisp for me like as soon as I smell prawn cocktail Chris, I'm sat under the pool table in the little Western pub with my brother and we're in the next room and the, and we can hear the drums and the bass of the music, of the music rather than the visceral memory. Yeah, so as soon as I smell it, I'm like, oh, I'm back there again. Yeah, yeah. Why were you not in this band? I was about six. And you never recruited you to get involved.

Well, that was a great thing about. So my nana Nora, she, the first half of their show would be like an hour, an hour and 20 or something and they would just be hercing and all the classics. And it's country classics. Country, Irish folk music, yeah. A bit of Celtic sort of rock stuff as well. She'd throw in there. She was really cool, like the glittery beret and a little glass of drambuey. Oh, really?

You know what I was her. And then there would just be these like widowed old Irish men with sort of glassy eyes just staring at her. Just in love absolutely besotted with her, you know. Even now, on occasion. She was the Vera Lynn of the North. Oh, big time. Not Viralyn. Vera.

Who's all my thinking of the country star? Oh. Rhinestone, like just... Rhinestone cowboy. Oh no, she was called Vera. Anyway, scrap that. Get rid of... Oh, you're thinking of...

No, not Vera Lin. You're thinking of Loretta... Loretta Lynn. Loretta Lynn. Yeah, okay. Anyway, she was there. But yeah, I sort of have images of that. Like, even now, occasionally,

even now, like in, you know, in 2023, I'll be in a pub or a... Somewhere in, you know, in Manchester, Levin, Jume, somewhere with, like, a big Irish area. And somebody will go, like a really old man I'll be like

Are you Nora's grandson? And then he'd be like I love Norma Oh my God They loved her She's still single It loved her

So yeah So that was our And so we'd go on a weekend And that first half was them And then the second half Of their show After the break After the

And they'd been on the beers And they'd be Would be just a free-for-all It was just like anybody Johnny plays the mandolin He'd come up And there's it It was crazy

Everyone would come up Where's one-eye Tommy One-Tommy Come up and it'd be on the drums. It was absolutely crazy. And we'd be like seven or eight, like, you know. And then we got to an age, I think, sort of, I think about nine or ten where I'd obviously shown a talent for being able to sing, I guess, at that age.

And so then I was included then. I was included. So I'd be able to get up and do a song or two. What were your songs? Well, my first choice. And I think just because I had like a, I guess even then I was always thinking, what's the funniest thing to do here? So you're always, yeah. But I would sing in the ghetto by Elvis,

which is not a funny song. But it is, when you're a child in the ghetto, we were like literally in the ghetto as well in Manchester. And it was just something about it that I always thought, this is funny. And because it's Elvis, you know, so you can do a bit of that. So yeah, you sing that.

And then I do a duet with my nana on occasion as well. God, you started early, Jason, didn't you? I mean, that's the thing when people say to me about like being a comedian. or something I never had to say to my parents I'm I'm thinking about going into show business it was like it would have been the opposite I figured it'd have been an accountant not under my room get that microphone and get on stage so this was their job so that was so that's the great thing about it is it was their job as in that's what

they got but of course they well didn't pay enough to be their full-time jobs so in the week they would do their normal jobs and this was weekend income and this was their weekend stuff yeah but some of the the gigs they would go to you know I remember And like just in this dilapidated van. I remember being on the M-6. It seems like the commitment. It's so many vibes of the commitment. You know what?

It just shows it like it's so not glamorous. Any side of like when you're... I remember on the M-62 going over or maybe coming back from Leeds and I'm about 14. And I'm sat in the passenger seat and there's my uncle Mick, who's the drummer. And then my other uncle, Gary, is sat there. I'm on the left here. And in the back, it's just everybody with the equipment, with nobody's fastened in, just in the back, like just on a motorway.

And it is hammering down so hard. Like it's so hard. And the window wipers have stopped working, right? We're like midnight and it's pitch black and it's cloudy. And the window wipers are not working. So my uncle wait pulls over. He manages to find like some string or some something like that. And he ties the window wiper.

The window's open. And me and him have to, he's driving pulling the window wipers. I have a sat with the windows open just pulling these window wipers. I'm like, I just want to go into show business. But to be honest, I think that sounds like everything I love about show business. Just so much fun. Yeah, the laughs, man. Yeah.

But also, you can't make that stuff. You can't contrive that. No, exactly. That can only happen on the road. Can you make this film? I know, I need to, don't it? It's like the commitments and shameless. You know what I mean?

Like, it's got an element of that as well, you know. I remember my uncle Michael was just like he was a real lethario, you know. He'd have to be. He's a show biz man. And yeah, exactly. And he was like, he was dead good looking, really funny, Irish accent as well. Really charming. On the league guitar and he sang beautifully.

And, you know, and he's like tell stories of like being on the, I think he was on the bass guitar once. He was like just singing in the background, my grand singing. And then he spots this like woman who he's sort of seeing at the time. And he's like, giving a little wing. And then as he looks over it, he spots another one. And there's about four of them. And they're all in different areas of this.

Oh my God. And he's like gradually on stage, just feeling the angstead. anxiety of like, right, I need to keep them away from each. And there's like a story of him sort of like, my uncle's there sort of on the, you know, the tambourine or anything. He sort of gives in the eyes like, take this off me. And he's playing the guitar and he like hands over the guitar to my uncle who takes it over. And then he's just gone. Like just out the back door, God, not worth it.

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or in magazine. Maybe it's Mabelene is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, work. Around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really

personal for us. The next picture is you held you in that? I think I'm about four there. Very. And you're in your. Man City shirt. Yeah. That was our team as a kid, yeah. And still now. What's that picture? So that was in the hall.

That's in the hallway at our house on Nettelford Road in Wally Range. And that was... You look like a little French kid. You look like a little cute. You've got a little tan there, Jason. There is a little tan. I think that was... If I remember, that's a series of photos, I think, where we'd been to Southport that day or maybe that early on that day.

And that was us when we got back from Southport. I think it was a roast-a-not day. And I'm talking like, you know, don't know, like real old-school British beach fair, you know what I mean? You hadn't just come back from the south of France? No, that was definitely no French. Some French fries, maybe, but that's as close to get. But yeah, that was one of those.

And again, like, you know, I didn't have a passport till I was 22, I think. Really? We never went abroad. And so Southport and Blackpool was where we used to go. For your summer holidays? Yeah. You went to Ireland to see family or anything. I went to Ireland when we were on a ferry when I was about maybe 12 or 13,

but for whatever reason, I don't know how we got there without a passport, but just walked off and there we were. But yeah, it was kind of weird really because when I think back, in fact, the only time we went at a proper week holiday was we were, went to Wales and we went to Butlins in Prefelley in Wales. And I couldn't believe I looked like we were going to this place. amazing and it was actually and I didn't realise at the time

because obviously why would your parents Tommy Tiener does a lovely line where he says I had an underprivileged childhood I found out later and I love that line because that's exactly how I described my childhood and we just went for this holiday and that's where we were

and Batlins I imagine for a kid it's just a little bad that's where we used to go we used to go to Batlins Bognna Borgna and also there was one is it Canber Sand or is that Pontins was one I think there's a Butlins in Camberton's the sands as well we used to go to those that's what it was wonderful and uh and what was funny was

i well what was really fun of when we we rocked up i was about seven or eight brother was five my brother was four and you'd get in your little chalet and then uh i remember my mom and dad said on the first day we got i said oh can we have some money for the uh for the fairground and the swimming and the mom said money you don't need money here this is all we've paid this is all included it's all paid for and we were like in tears like the joy the joy the joy the joy of this. So we get out and we're on this roller coaster like and you can just get back in the queue. Oh yeah. Get on it like we're like oh my god it's amazing and then we and obviously this was a time where you could send a seven, five and a four year old to a fair ground by themselves.

On a bottle inside. I totally say. But just like you wouldn't even think of it now. We didn't even even, you know, we went swimming and we did. Oh God, it sounds like magical. We came I think the next morning my dad woke, we sat watching TV and in this little chalet and this knock on the door and my dad answers just like these boxes you know his underpants like and there's security guards there and he said there's three lads

staying here my dad said yeah he said oh we've had some reports of shoplifting he said well they won't be my boys they're good boys they wouldn't do something like that and then you've stolen some sweets and like a power rangers football or something like literally this power rangers football

rolls behind me dad and he's like look at at it. And anyway, the security guy comes in to, like, tell us off. And we were like in tears, because we would never do anything like that. But we were like, but mum said everything was free. Oh, no. So we just thought, we were in the shop like, this is incredible. Yeah.

How do they make money this place? That's so, that's so cute. Yeah, it goes, good, everything's free. And years later, I was doing a gig in Manchester at the Apollo. And there's, there was, for a charity called, they changed the name, but it was called the Lord Mayor's Fund. Essentially it was for kids to get, underprivileged kids to get them school uniforms and school shoes and little holidays and stuff like that.

And I was on my way there and I stopped by my parents. And I said, I've got a gig tonight. She said, well, that's fun. I said, oh, it's the Lord Mayor's Fund. We're going for this. And Mom said, you know that holiday we went to and that's who paid for it? Oh, no way. Really?

That was the charity that sent us on our, to Butlins? To Bucklings. Oh, fantastic. So it's like a weird, like, full circle thing. I was doing this gig, like, you know, so, yeah, it was kind of weird. I was like, I deserve this. This is all for free. We've got a Power Rangers football.

I'm old one. Oh, that's so lovely. Yeah, good times. That's so sweet, and you didn't know that. I didn't know. I didn't know. My parents didn't tell us, you know. Like I said, it was Southport and I just have these like vivier images of going in my

my mom had a bright yellow triumph dolomite, which is not a car that I, No, I've never heard of that. You wouldn't know, it's like... Triumph Herald, yes. Yeah, this is Dolomite. Does that sound like a good name for a car? No, it doesn't trip off the time. No, no.

It's never been on top gear. And we were... And I remember driving there and it was one of them where... You know, now when you're getting your car, you're like, has it got isofix? Has it got enough belt? Have everyone got the belts on? Or this was one of those cars where there was like six people on the back seat.

Someone lay across a lap. Someone on the parcel shelf. tuna boot and me and we would fight for this place passenger footwell curled up in the passenger footwell for an hour on the motorway like curled up in this in this why was that like a I don't know it was like because this is like this is like full Angela's ashes here like because if you're lifted up the mat you can see the road there was a hole in the floor no yeah so it was dangerous oh yeah it was absolutely dangerous None of this sounds like mode safe, Kerry, just to inform you.

How it passed its MOT. And yeah, you could lift the little mat up and you could see the motorway underneath them. That's so weird because my, which was really. It was really crap Datson, it was like a brown Datson. And again, if you lifted up the mat in the footwell, there was a little hole where the seat was connected to the bottom. And that's where the hole was. And that's where you could see right down into the floor. Also, I do remember kids don't want to be in the bit of the car.

to be in they want like my kids love being in the boo not that i put them in the stay you know like in a stay car you're going on holiday yeah yeah yeah you always want to be where the dog goes yeah yeah would a dog go in there i want to face the other way yeah but it's the not doing the thing you're meant to do yeah 12 people in a car on the way we've bullet holes in it had bullet holes in the back of our car why i know i know this is this is a different uncle right who uh to be fair her has gone full like he sorted his life out but at that time in his life he's a drugs counsellor now he helps people get off drugs and works for the NHS but back then he was very much the opposite I guess you know like when the FBI get hackers in to help him

yeah that's what my uncle does now for the NHS but back then he was you know he was he was abadden and and he um he for some reason uh was there was something going on and he needed a car And so in the middle of the night, he came and he stole my mum's car, took this car for a drug deal, essentially, or something that was going on in. Of all the cars to pick, to be like... Pick the shittiest car. A bright yellow... Like, you're going to get spotted as well, you know.

And by all accounts, they, you know, as he was driving away, there was gunfire, there was all sorts of going on. And so there was like two holes in the back of my mum's car, two bullet holes, which I used to charge kids at school, 50p to come and have a look. Come on, I was like these bullet holes in the game. Yeah. Don't you? Put your fingers in the too fast. You said that before.

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for alcohol you must be legal drinking age please enjoy responsibly product availability varies by region see app for details I've got a picture here of a tweet oh what a career highlight I was trying to think what shall I send you that is like my career highlight there was

you know we've done we all of us do lots of gigs and you know and you have moments where you get to play, you know, big stadiums or, yeah, Royal Albert Hall, or wherever you think, where's them, we'll play, you know, Palladium, you know, or Manchester Arena, or Manchester Apollo, you know, even like there was a point where, like,

the comedy store, like, imagine one day we'll get to play the comedy store, you know. And so there's lots of moments like that, and, like, I've done raw variety and all these amazing moments. And then I was thinking, what is actually the moment in my career where I genuinely went, oh, it actually took a moment away. And it was when Dwayne the Rock Johnson retweeted me. He didn't just retweet though.

He didn't just retweet. Yeah. Let's take a through the story. So I was doing a musical called Curtains, a Kandran Eb musical. And we'd done a tour. And then we managed, because another show had been cancelled, we managed to get into London for five weeks over Christmas. And it's like 11 shows a week.

Like it's full on, you know. And I was the lead and it was a lot going. I was knacken. I was away from the family and all that. And so one evening, I had like a Saturday night sort of date with myself really. Because I'd done two shows that day and I had a show on the Sunday. So I just tweeted, this is like 28th of, yeah, that week between Christmas and New Year, 28th of December 2019, I put Saturday night date with myself,

11 shows a week of musicals curtain. It's pretty knackering on the old brain. So I'm going to switch it off. a bit. Love a bit of the Rock Kevin Hart, Karen Gillen, etc. And my old comedy circuit pal, Reese Darby, I'm sure you know, Reese. So off I went to see

Jamangy, the next level at the cinema by myself, right? You put a picture there of what you're going to see. Yes, I did 2250. Look how late it was. 10 to 11, guys. After two shows, but you know you just need to zone out because you don't just lie there for hours. You need to decompress.

Yeah, and then, Like, obviously, it must have just been that tweet that popped up. Dwayne Johnson, The Rock. It's so surreal. Retweeted it, not just replied. Retweeted it. And he said, playing the lead in musical curtains with 11 shows a week is hell of a load, man. Mind blown.

Mind blown. A applause, applause. Enjoy hashtag Jumanji. You know, we don't know the reason he's retweeting this. He's got a film to plug, but don't worry about that bit. He said, a well-earned great time. Brother. Oh, what?

You can't. Have you ever met? Never. Never. You've never tweeted to each other before? Reese is the only link that I've got to. This is great. So that was a hell of a moment.

So I then obviously retweeted that. Of course. You've got to retweet it. And I was like, oh my God, that was amazing. And then during that time, because I, and this is, so for Christmas, one of the other stars in the show, Rebecca Locke, we were all doing sort of like Christmas presents for a tenor or whatever, you know, that sort of thing.

And this was, before this had happened, weirdly, had bought me a car, full-size cardboard cutout of Dwayne the Rock Johnson. No. That was my, because I was just, I just loved the guy. And I was always talking about it. So this is a really big deal. I'm telling you, I'm a massive fan. I was a fan when he was a wrestler.

Oh, okay. So you go right back. Yeah, I'm like a big fan. So. Who was he when he was a wrestler? What was he? He was the rock. Oh, he was the rock.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh God, yeah, sorry. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Can you smell what the Rock's cooking? Right, yeah, I'm totally getting the connection now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't just come up with that name later on. It's not a movie star name, is it?

Now I'm not a wrestler. I don't know, he's American. They've all got weird names. So we've had this, and it was very funny because we're in an old, you know, 200-year-old theatre. And I would just sneak into people's dressing rooms and leave that cardboard, seven-foot cardboard cutout in like showers.

like behind curtains and every so often you would just forget about it and then everything you go Ah Jason! It would just be these moments like it was just up for the whole time so after that message Oh in that context of the context

Yeah This happening This happened This is insane Crazy Yeah So I then Did you at him in the tweet

Oh yeah Yeah okay Oh yeah I don't think the Rock's searching his own name I'm sort of otherwise he's searching his own name He's not next level weird Okay Yeah I don't know

No no same So I then retweeted and I said, well, after the big man himself, after a tweet from the big man himself, it was only fitting that he got prime seats in the royal box for our show tonight. Musical curtains. Hope you enjoyed it. And there's a little photo, which you can't quite see there, but there's a little photo where on a full show, I put the cardboard cut out in the royal box to watch the show and then took a little picture of it and stuff like that. That's great. Which I actually got in trouble for by the producers. It was worth it.

But it was worth it. It was funny. This is great. And then he retweeted that. Two retweets saying one day I will make this a real thing till then break a leg, my friend. Great show. Wow. Hashtag Jumanji.

Hashtag Rock in the Royal Box. This is bant. You're having bans. That's like one tweet is like okay, but two. I know. And then I. You're mates. Well, I then retweeted that one.

just to say I love you No I didn't I know I went I thought it would be funny to do this so I put gosh two retweets

from The Rock in as many days mate I've got other stuff to do I can't keep having this conversation like I was trying to be funny you letting some British irony

oh you know he's the rock unfollowed yeah but that was a moment but I and let me say

how much of a moment it is I've not just sent you that picture and I found it online. No, no. I have had those tweets printed and framed and they're on my office wall. That's how much of a moment it was. Wow. Yeah.

That is a big deal. It's the rock. There is one last picture. Oh, yes. Just end with your stand-up beginnings. It was like an anti-climax now, but it's a... Well, no. It's an interesting one, this one, because it's only when I looked at this photo.

I thought, oh, maybe I'll include this. photo because if you look closely, my right eye, my right is actually a little bit swollen. Okay. And a little bit darker. Well, I was 17, 1617 and I was working as a pot collector, collecting glasses in a bar in the buzz club in Manchester, which you might have played at some point. That does ring about it. Yeah.

I was, sorry, how old were you in this picture? I was 16, 17? Because you look so young. You look so young, but not old enough to be collecting glasses at a... Well, that was my job, yeah. managed to get paid, something like £2.50 an hour or something. But I got to watch all the comics. And so I would watch these brilliant comics.

And obviously at that point, you know, Peter Kay and Johnny Vegas and Carolina Hearn and Steve Coogan. Wow. Yeah, it's incredible. It's incredible. So I got to watch everybody do their bits. And then I've sort of talked about this before on various things. But essentially what happened was one night, a load of acts were on the way up from London.

The car broke down. They were panicking. and the landlady had said to the promoter John said Chase's funny He could fill in for 10 minutes And I was like, I don't think so I'm funny in the kitchen We're all funny in the kitchen

But he said well look I've got 40 quid here, 50 quid here If I thought well that's Wow And you just went out So I just went up How long did you do? I did 10 minutes

And you literally just was improvising Or did you have a sense of what you'd like to talk about? Seven o'clock I got told that this was going to happen Yeah So I had about an hour. Yeah, an hour to write 10 minutes of... Yeah, but it was interesting because I had things that I thought were funny. And I'd done a few bits at school and college where, like open days and stuff,

where I'd done a bit of what I thought was stand-up or what it was, you know, introducing things. And you've got a family background of show business. And I've got that. And I've watched loads of stand-up. So you have got a pretty clear sense of how it works. That's still a big gap between seeing it. Well, the reason I mentioned the black eye there in that photo. So that photo was six, about six, six, six.

gigs later, about two weeks later, when I don't know how, even now I don't know how, but I'd won the Northwest Comedian of the Year. And it was like six weeks, it was crazy. Oh, man, that's amazing. And I was like, with like McFerry and like proper acts, you know, proper comics, you know. And Manish just cobbled together this. And I think back now, I had a little bit where I thought to myself, oh, I tell you what's funny, family fortunes.

I'll talk about family fortune. You know, I was that sort of, I'd seen Peter Kay and I'd seen, I thought, this is what people want you're doing what they want but what was interesting on the night and it was a good lesson to learn straight away was I did not have 10 minutes like getting up there in hindsight I did not have 10 minutes but I had this stick lip and a black eye and of course you two minutes into your bit and the audience are so supportive because they know what's happened as well the compats told them you know and we're some of them familiar with you and I'm collecting the glasses and somebody heckled me on my first gig and he said he said jace what happened to you

face what happened to your eye and I said oh I got mugged um like two days ago and they all laughed and I sort of like fine line between comedy and tragedy yeah I said I got mugged a couple of days ago walking home from college and and then I just told them the story of literally what had happened right getting mugged and I remember specifically there's a couple of moments where um these guys had jumped out and uh and we were walking home from college from hume in our side on my side and we're walking home and these guys jumped out

me and I was with this with this girl who I was sort of trying to impress a little not in the moment of the crime but just in general life I was trying to She was the project Yes yeah

I've been a long ago with this lady And I was thinking Hang on him and this might be my moment If I could only battle these five youths I reckon she'll be in front I get a snoggy

And there was a moment where That wasn't a fart by the way No we all know The leathery sofa is different to a flatulation. Although I wasn't sure at the time. Yeah, it's such a small room. Hang on. It's awful when you do that.

I'm relieved of a lot and there isn't a leather sofa to blame. And yeah, they jumped us. And I remember there was an actual conversation where this guy said to me, give us your money or we'll beat you up. And we're students, like, so what money have we got? So giving those options. The old Paul Carfly and we're like,

I'll write you're a check. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So we've got like a tenor on us between us. So you go, give us money. So you go, well, we'll give them the money. And then they beat me up anyway. Oh, and I remember.

That's not part of the arrangement. Exactly. And that's what we... They've reneged on their contract. That is a gentleman's agreement we entered into. They do seem like gents to be fair. We didn't shake on it. And you told that story about that, you know, being annoyed that we got mugged,

but being really annoyed that he'd gone back on a deal, yeah. And that actually became... the start of something that I think it ended up in my first DVD like that's that story ended up six or seven minutes long and and became like my first bit yeah your first routine yeah telling a shaggy dog like properly finding the funny beats yeah finding those moments you know and and relating it back to you know when I was a kid and someone tried to steal my bike and I and my and the way I tried to get out of it was saying it's not mine like like it matters to this guy like ownership is the problem here you know yeah because I came with the paperwork it's actually not mine

Oh, sorry, mate. Doesn't it come with the logbooks? Yeah. So, yeah, so it's, and it was a really good lesson, you know, especially for stand-up to sort of realise that. It's almost like a gift, isn't it? That's your first gig. Yeah, so you're sort of fine.

Well worth of tenor. That takes years to get to that. I think it took me ages to get to the point where I could just realise, I could just talk about stuff that had happened to me. Actually happened, yeah. Whereas I thought I'd have to let create jokes and, you know, and it all felt really contrived and a little bit wooden. But that, when you're actually coming first out with a story that's,

there's based on truth. There's truth in it. That's what they connect to. And sometimes it doesn't even have to like have all the beats there immediately because they're just connected to something that is like, yeah, we believe you. Yeah, that this happened to you. But your first gig to be that young in a room that you're familiar with

because often, I think that's worse. You're going to see them. And by the way, I had to get off and carry on collecting glasses. No. Oh, no. I carried on working that night.

So can you imagine if that had gone wrong. You did feel a sense of support. I did. There wasn't any kind of hostility or like derision. Everyone was just thinking I could not do that. I'm 40 now. The idea of doing that right now would be terrifying. So how's this 16 year old doing that?

I think there's a real like it's meant to be, you know, that you were clearly, that was your destiny to be a comedian. I remember ringing my dad and saying, oh, that's his gig. And he said, no, don't do that. I don't do that because it was his local as well. Don't make it. Oh, that you'd humiliate you. Yeah, I can't ever come in. I'm going to find a new local.

Oh, shit. Jason, these are great stories. I've enjoyed it. Absolutely. Have you ever thought about doing this for a living? You're really good at it. I don't know. Such a natural story turn.

Absolutely. I'm all right. Just being a plumber. Thank you. A pleasure. Pleasure. Jason Manford. That was brilliant.

Thanks guys. That was fun. That was fun. I really enjoyed that. I could have listened to Jason for a lot longer. Yes. What a life that man has had. So if you've enjoyed that and you want to see Jason Manford's photographs

and all we have to do is check out the Instagram page, Memory Lane podcast, and there'll also be other updates and other bits and bobs on there. And if you do like the series, can you leave a review and tell your mates? I mean, it's only episode one. That is quite... I think we need to set us all out early. We need people to start talking about it. You are a lady that has gone viral. We're going to go viral.

We're going viral. Five stars it today. Yes. And we will see you next week. All right. You'll hear us. Listen, this is a waste of time. Let's do our outro.

I'm going to give you that opening line because it's very much on brand. Well, that was fun. Right. Come on. We can... Just sit it properly. Listen, we can...

Fuck you, Kerry. Well, that was fun. Go on. Okay. Start again. Start again. Because I didn't know you'd started. Okay.

That's how they do. That's how they do things these days. That's like when a stand-up is like on the side of the stage having a poo and then they just walk on and that's the special. That's how it is now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like that.

A soft opening. A soft opening. A flaccid opening. Let's do one of those. Let's do a soft opening. Oh, God. Oh, it just caught me out there. I was just having a poo.

Well, that was fun, wasn't it, Kerry? Is that what you meant? Yeah, exactly. Just run into it in a sort of bewildered way. You just caught me making an ice cup of char. That was fun, doesn't it, Kerry? It was just picking my nose and there you were. Well, that was fun.

Yeah, I'm just pulling my knickers out of my ass. I'm always pulling my knickers out of my ass now. I just feel like I'm constantly pulling my knickers out of my ass. I really feel like they're, I'm a very big knicker woman. That's my, I've got big nickel energy. Big nicker energy, so I don't, I don't really have. Yeah, I like an apple catcher, so I don't really, I really like it to really collect the thought of No VPL. No VPR.

Yeah, there's no VPL. It wraps, it's fully wraps around everything. Right down to the knees. Yeah. Knees to navel. Below, below. All touch in. Yeah, you can't see anything. VPL, what are you talking about? I'm basically wearing. My VPL is under my knees. My VPL starts at my kneecaps. What's your problem? I think that's normal. All right. Okay. Jane, you need to bring a. out a lingerie rage. Can you imagine?

This is 100% umbrella. I think these are actually cycling shorts. Nope, these are... This is my new lingerie range. This is my logeret.

Look at the little bit lace around the knees. That'll tell you. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?

It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, What did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure where do we put the stress. Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did? You do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.