Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E02: Isy Suttie

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

"It's not like This Life is it Isy?!" Isy takes Kerry and Jen (OUR NEW CO-HOST!!!!) on a walk through her amazing (AMAZING!) photo album. Photo 01 - Suade - Skater Girl Photo 02 - Face swap Photo 03 - Working after becoming a mum Photo 04 - Weekend away with friends PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you starting? Okay. No, well, we've started. That's it. That's how we're starting. Okay, fine. Hello, and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Brister and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. I was going through my phone and what I've really enjoyed is the recent interaction you and you and I have had, Kerry, going through our photos and just singling out the worst pictures of ourselves. Yeah, and zooming in on them. Doom zoom. Oh, is that what it is? I'll call it a doom zoom.

Well, there's a couple. It's a special thing. Yeah, well, there were some special photographs there of me and I, do you know what? I could have done without the doom zoom because I thought, I look actually all right in most of these. And then you zoned in on a couple of them. Oh, my God. They're unraveling, aren't they?

I was like, when was my face doing that? Why was my face doing that? It's my favourite thing, especially in the context of Glastonbury, because the excessive, like, babbling about how amazing it is and just the nonsense about the atmosphere, and the time of your life. It's the time of your life. And I can't deal with that.

So I have to flip it and just have an existential breakdown while looking at my job. There has to be an underbelly. There is. To the excess. And also with Glastonbury, the thing is, our photographs make it look like we were having the time of our lives from 9 a.m. to 9 a.m. Soaking up the atmosphere. Did you get enough? We didn't stop having fun.

Did we carry it was always, we're looking at each other just having fun all the time. Constant bliss. I just find it exhausting. It is exhausting. And I'd got back, do you remember I'd got back from a yoga retreat in Spain two days before? It was not great timing for you. It was not great time. I was in a very different headspace.

So I didn't want to see a robotic dragon pumping out James Brown because I wasn't ready for that. No, you weren't ready for that. To be honest, there was a lot of bits I wasn't ready for. I wasn't ready to be watching Carly Ray Jepson and watch two teenagers in the front of me bump up a little bit of Coke off a shalak nail at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I was like, come on kids.

And so that's my way of coping is the doomsome. My way of coping is just zooming in. I had more laughter, like genuine joy in laughter, sharing those photographs with you when we got home. Then you did that glass of brief. During the whole weekend, I was giggling my head off at those pictures. I still can't stop thinking about. And sadly, it's not even a view, Kerry,

because you know how I like to look at photographs of you and love. It's actually sadly of me. The posture, there's one of me, you've got me head to toe, it's slightly blurry, but my posture. I know the one. It's brilliant. It's when you're striding from a gig, so you've got that post-gig stride. Is that what I'm doing?

you're in the back of shot. So it's not even of you. It's of all of us in the front of shot. And you just happen to be walking out of the cabaret tent by chance in the background striding with such purpose. Well, I don't look like I'm striding. I look like I've got some sort of hunchback. I look like I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders,

which is causing me my posture to be... You are, Jen. Metaphorically. And actually, what was that? My favourite of you is the overbite. Oh, yeah, that's terrible. You're just having a great funky tan. And with your little overbite.

I find them liberating. And you will find them on our memory lane Instagram account. If you want to have a little look and you're feeling like, oh, I've got a little bit of low self-esteem today. I really need a little bit of a bump up. And I don't mean a shalak bump. I showed them to Chloe. And she was like, what are you two doing?

Because all she could see was me sitting on the sofa, laughing my head off. And then going, I've got to find another one. I've got off hard another one. Chloe's like, could you help me with the unpacking? I'll be with you in a minute. I've got to finish this. This is necessary work.

This is why we've got this podcast because this is the pleasure that photographs can bring, whether they're good or bad. And these were bad. These were bad. I didn't put any of these up on my Instagram account, FYI. I did. Anyway. Who's our guest today?

I'm really excited about our guest. And it was so fun to talk to our second guest. the podcast series. She is an actor. She's a comedian. We've both known her for many, many, many, many years. She's also an author, and you love her. And so do we.

It's the wonderful, is he sooty. Like, I haven't, just saying to you before we start recording, I haven't seen you for, I think, about six years. But do you erase the pandemic years? Because they don't count. They're not part of it. Well, they still exist as years. But yeah, I guess I do raise those two.

but even without that, it's four years, isn't it? It's a long time. And you remember where? You last saw each other. Well, it's you remember, so I've forgotten. So it was a gig upstairs. I think it was the exhibit in Ballam, but I don't remember very much. I think it might have been a new material night.

I tell you who was on and you were like, oh, do you know so and so? And I was like, no, I don't know him. Who? He's an actor. It's really funny, comedy actor. He's been in loads of things. Anyway, it doesn't matter. That's Joe Thomas.

Loads of people. No, I know. Well, that seems to them in a past brain. It was an actor, funny, Blank. Yeah, but then there's something about that. Is he an actor who was sort of starting to do comedy? Or, I know what you mean. No, I mean, he, no, he's always done comedy.

But he was in 90 Night. He played Julia. Oh, was it Kevin Eldon? Thank you. Kevin Elden. Oh, I can't believe I forgot his name. Yes, he was on because he does brilliant lives, the character stuff.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, hi, Kevin. And I was standing there like, oh, that's Kevin. And you're like, do you know? No, never made him. And that was the only time I've ever seen him. From a memory that was gone to you, it's all coming back now, isn't it?

Like you didn't remember it at all. Yeah, but not only do you remember it? You remember who was there. But not their name. Social awkwardness. She remembers her emotions. That's right. Listen, we should get on.

We're talking about our pictures. So, first question. Yes. You've brought your albums, which I'm really impressed by. I've even got the names of people next to all the... Now, I love this, because a lot of... the time when we ask people how easy was it for you to find your pictures they go

oh I had to ring my mum and they're in a sort of tub in a loft you know in the sort of the eaves of the loft or whatever but you have access and you've got albums I love this album I love that it looks very worn like it's been gone through a lot some of them have got this picture of my bum

not my actual bum but in jeans and it says Izzy's bum aged about 11 absolutely brilliant you see also what I've got in here so this album covers from, well, I used to have baby photos in there, but they've sort of been replaced over the years from maybe 11 until probably, until I went to uni, maybe like 20, 21.

And I've got like my favourite band with Carter of The Unstoppable Sex Machine. I've cut out a picture of them both from NME. And I've cut out the lyrics to my favourite song and I've put them in. And you've been born in New Cross? It is. No, goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.

Come home, you silly cow. Do you remember that one? Yes, my brothers loved Carter in the Unstopperable Sex Machine. I did quite like a bit of Carter. They played only boy in New Cross the other day on the radio and again a visceral memory came back to me of jumping about. One of them lives near here, Kerry. Is that the New Cross connection?

Yeah, all their songs were about Tulsa Hill, New Cross. So they are South East London. Yeah, he lives in Crystal Palace. Oh, really? And I gigged with him and actually when you met Kevin Eldon, you were like, this Kevin Eldon. I was like that when I met Jim Bob, the one who lives in Crystal Palace. Jim Bob lives in Crystal Palace.

Yes. Oh my God. And where did you gig with him? at one of those big Robin Inns gigs at the Bloomsbury Theatre with lots of musicians and actors Yeah, kind of but he used to do And he still does them at a different venue now

But sort of big gigs of like scientists and musicians and comedians and stuff And it'll go to charity every Christmas And I was on with him And my friend Gavin who was on as well Was really winding me up and being like Oh when you see Jim Bob you're going to faint You're going to faint you're going to fame

And I was like, shut up I went up to Jim Bob And I didn't say anything about who I was Or like introduce us I said hi I'm Izzy I'm just said, do you want a coffee? And he went, no. And I went, I'm going to cost us.

So I'm going to get you on anyway. You were that aggressive? Yeah, really aggressive. You know that weird thing where sometimes after gigs people can be a bit weird with a sort of like, yeah, I liked your set. If you like a female comic or something, you sort of go, I think you're trying to be nice, but you're saying it. I was like that.

That just sums up the 90s. So you're the weird. People just being a little bit cunty, ironically. Everything was ironic in the nizzi's, doesn't it? I'm sorry, touch your tear. It was ironic. It's because ultimately

you want them to go. Wow, you seem like a really amazing person. Are you a creative person? Can I see some of your work and be you to sort of become best mates? But that will never ever happen. Well, it could happen in that context. Well, you want shorthand.

You're trying to do bans before you said hello. You're cut into third base before you've covered first base. Yeah, that's true. It's like you're pretending you've got like a history. You have with him, he didn't with you.

That's the problem. It's true. That is the problem. But now we do know each other and I know his partner runs and market store sells all these beautiful bags and it's really odd. Now I'm like, oh it's Jim Bob, hi, you know,

go. Oh, really? Yeah. It's lovely. It took a bit of time to go. I love it that in your photo album, you must have loved them so much that you just cut out a picture of them

and stuck it in as a photo. Yes, so this is from a guy who I had a holiday romance with. Let me sit. It's just his foot. And he was at boarding school. He was at Wellington College. Yeah.

And they used to smoking the bathrooms it's his foot I haven't looked at this photo for years because that would be a bit weird if I looked at it every day his foot in a sock and a trainer with loads of fag butts and ash in a bath and a packet of B&A honestly I actually think that looks like

almost like a piece of art doesn't it yeah it's got quite a position and also the photo look but I know we are all to just talk about the photo that we need to talk about but before we do there is just that photo above that photo I mean it's not even in focus is it that of a ghost that is a human Is that ever you mean?

Yeah, that's just my friend Sharon. It looks like a bit of art though. I mean, it's true. You just get that blown up and call it Sharon. Call it my friend Sharon and someone would buy that. God, you're right in the right frame. Yeah. I love these.

You don't see these anymore. Passport photos. Well, that's not true. You can go like this. Oh, yeah. What am I talking about? You've got literally your entire fridge is covered in your own passport photos of your children. Yeah.

How was I talking about? But they use, now they're a bit bougie. aren't they? They are. Maybe they're but they used to just be crappy ones. They are.

They are. The orange or the blue you did the classic half orange half blue curtain at the back. Oh yes. Yes.

That just shows real personality. Yes because you could pull either the orange or the blue and we did half and half and you like what about when you get caught out

changing the store and then you're Is your first picture in there? Yeah my first picture is here. Um so that's me wearing a suede t-shirt

and a beanie hat how would you in this picture well we know because I put the date on a lot of these pictures it says is he in

I am a skater mode 1993 you're holding a skateboard can you skate could you skate now look closely at the

skate look closely at the skateboard and tell me oh yeah tell me if you notice anything about this skateboard

it's got no wheels yeah wheels are key I wasn't sure because what side of that skateboard it was you see Was that like the under side?

That's totally fair enough. Yeah, the under side is normally the decorated side. Because you do look like it's a great gesture. Your fingers just slightly as if you're choosing which slope to go down. Yeah. So we used to do a lot of photo stories, me and my sister and my mates. Like in those comic strips? Yeah, because I used to love my guy magazine.

You guys ever used to get that? I mean, I know, I am aware of my guy, but it wasn't as a, you can imagine. I used to go out with a bloke who was a picture. Wouldn't it be my choice of. Or high magazine. I remember High Magazine. And I remember looking. Looking magazine.

La La La, la, looking, la looking, you're looking good. Remember that? What's happening now? That was an advert for Looking magazine. I don't remember that at all. And then you'd get pictures of like double, you get like a poster in the middle and it'd be Billy Ocean. And you'd be like, what?

Every week. It was always Billy Ocean. Yeah. No explanation. That's all it was. The same picture every week. I used to go out with a bloke who was one of the models, actors, whatever, in those photos, in my guy.

What was his name and who was he? I'm not going to say because this is a public thing, but I will tell you. I'll tell us after. You can offer him an aggressive coffee if you ever see him around. Well, I will because I recently googled all the ones who were, there was a girl called Fran and there was a girl called Chantel. They went their real names in the photo stories. Yeah.

And I was obsessed with their hair. I just wanted them. Fran had quite curly short hair. I was always wanting a perm. I had up hair like Frans and Chantel had this really thick hair. I've got really fine hair. Anyway, I googled them recently. I couldn't really find anything about it.

Where are they? What's happened to them? We need to find them. I was on a postcard. Oh my God. Fran, if anyone knows. Yeah. Where did you get your permit?

It's impossible to find any information about them. Was it always the same? So sorry, like, forgive me, because I never read it. So I'm trying to catch up with who these people are. They did these same stories every week, but there were different stories. Just different love stories. Sorry, Carrie. That's not actually true.

I'm sorry, go on. There were different love stories, but the ones that I'm talking about, it was actually a running thing, a bit like a soap. Oh, really? That makes sense. So that's why it would be the same people. Because if it's a different love story, why are they always in it? Well, there were ones that you recognise. So, Kerry, I'd love to know whether your ex was actually in, like, the continuing thing, which Fran and Chantel were in, or in, like, pop to talk.

Yeah, please, I really need to know. So they were like soap stars. They were stars in the story. It's a bit like neighbours or something in that, like, it was a bit, do you know what it was like? It was like this life, but I suppose more of, more of a simplified version. You see, it wasn't like this life, was it? It really wasn't, but I like that he went ahead, and that is the main thing. Two women with a perm, it's just like this one.

And an incredibly seminal piece of 90s TV writing. No, it wasn't like line of duty. They just lived together and they, you know, and they had great hair. And they shared Alice band. And really complicated love life. No police, but apart from that, it was like line of duty. So in this picture, you're doing one of those. poses in your head.

We're obviously meant to make a photo story because underneath there's one of my sister kind of looking sad and then we used to do lots and lots of these photo story type things. Did you put speech bubbles on them like after you? Absolutely. We used to do them with Sylvania families or speech bubbles and our rabbit. We used to get the rabbit involved in the rabbit would talk. But there was never really much of a plan. I don't think we like drew out what we wanted beforehand. No.

We used to sort of go with it. You're just having fun. Yeah, you don't need a plan. You're just having a good time. Yeah, it's true. So this was, so that suede photo, the first photo, probably was from a photo story because you're right, it does look like I'm choosing which slope to go on. Yeah.

Yeah, and I never skated. I just used to carry it around. So I'd carry it on my shoulder, just this deck on its own. I'd carry it under my arm. So I'd carry it as if I was a skateboarder, and I'd sit and watch the skateboarders with my skateboard. Only when you were doing these photos, or just generally in life. No, just generally. I carried it around Matlock Park.

What was going on there, Izzy? Were you like... Did anyone ever question you? Like, what are you up to? I don't remember anyone questioning it. No, I certainly wasn't in character. I was trying to look like the, I was trying to go a step further closer to the skateboarders.

So it wasn't enough for me that we'd sit and watch them. Right. I wanted to be sort of like, I'm like you. Yeah, but I guess not have any jeopardy because I wasn't, I had a go on a skateboard a few times. That is so eccentric. I can't believe. You must have been, like, other people must have been like,

have you seen that girl that has? she hangs up she's got a deck but it hasn't got and the first time you'd be like look she's just not put the wheels on yet but by like week six I'm like what the fuck is going on do you know what I think I used to say is to say I can't afford the wheels at the moment I've just got the deck at this point I'm going to get wow and everybody just humoured you don't think the wheels are that expensive

yeah I've only got the really expensive hoodie the trainers all the other gear but I can't stretch to the wheels it's like I've just got the lead at the moment the dogs I'm going to save up for the dog In the meantime, I just walk around the park trail with the lead after me. And it was because they were, like, you wanted proximity to the cool people,

but you didn't want to risk twisting your ankle. Yeah, and also I wanted to stand out amongst the girls, I think. I wanted them to think she's cooler than the others because she's a skater. Did it work? Well, I already knew them all anyway, and I was going out with one of them at one point,

but we sort of like a small town, so everyone knew each of them. I think it worked in a sort of subliminal way, maybe like um and what i sometimes like anyone taking in the sea which is a girl yeah you know without really thinking about like she looks like one of them but look closely and there's no wheels there's the big clue but sometimes she'd put the deck down so it'd be like you're not even near your skate deck so you're just a skate girl standing with other skate boys i get i do get you basically like bez you were the best of the

With the time for it. Where you're like, are you in the band? What are you bringing to this band? You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on TELUS'

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What is happening to you both in this picture? You look insane. And also, Ellis looks like he's wearing a dress. Okay, so is Ellis wearing a dress? I'm glad it looks so realistic. Basically, this photo was taken. Oh, I see what's happened now. Yeah.

And so this photo was taken on that. I used to go to a lot of secret cinema type events. I really like, like, like, I like that type of thing. I like, I don't like necessarily. We had to go to one we had to meet in pyjamas at Ladbrook Grove and walk through the street in pyjamas. And that I found really hard.

I don't know about you too, but I absolutely hate that thing of like, have you ever done a job where they're like, going to the street and interview people and pretend to be French? And I'm just like, I just can't do it. And so I found it a bit like, oh my God, walking to do the street into pajamas. But generally I really do love those kinds of events.

And it was on the way to a Laura Marling. Oh, wow. Amazing thing where we had to take lots of different clothes in a big derelict house. which is like my dream, going to different bedrooms, we could rifle through the cupboard. It feels like a dream.

But it was amazing. We had like two hours. Like an immersive theatre kind of experience. Yeah, and there was a kind of 1920s theme, I think, and all these bedrooms, where it wasn't dodgy at all. It wasn't.

It just had wardrobes and wardrobes full of clothes. It was almost like being children again. And the idea was you brought some clothes to donate and then you could take what clothes you wanted. Oh, that sounds magical. It's fantastic. And then we all got led through this passageway and there was this secret gig,

really intimate gig. And this photo was taken beforehand. Ellis has got this set of uni mates who were really cool, all girls. I loved them all. And we'd all met at the pub in North London, which felt like a really big deal from go to South, from South to North London, even before kids. So this is before kids.

And I was really, really, really into face swap. Face swap. Which is now I understand what's going on there. So Ellis isn't wearing a dress in real life. That's me. I've swapped our faces. It looks mad. I know.

And I was so into face swash for a really intense period. It was like, you know, like when someone discovers religion or, and they sort of tell everyone about it. You're like in face swap with religion. Would you? It's very intense. It just took over your life. It genuinely did. Especially as I used to go out more than because it was before kids.

Yeah. Every time I was drunk, which was reasonably frequently. or even after a gig or something we all go go out I'd be like, who wants to do face swap? Do anyone mind doing face swap? And if anyone had a photo taken next week, do you mind if I do face swap on the photo? I'd be like, what's that?

And I've got some amazing face swaps. Me and Steve Edge and I look, it's really weird. The combination of me and him looks like, it's really sort of dour, sad old lady. Like a sort of, it's really interesting. It's on a faces of characters that you're curious about. Yeah, and it makes you realise that you see, Steve Edge and I look quite similar facially.

the combination of us was really kind of potent. Yeah, I've done one with my son and Frank and I have got similar faces. Yeah, it's kind of like, it's us, but it's new. Yeah, yeah. Uses. But this is pre-smartphones and all of that, so what were you doing? No, it was smartphones, isn't it? No, it was a bit of fork.

It was, in this photo, I was probably about... How would you have done it without a smartphone? I don't know. You can get an application, put it on your laptop. Put it on what? I don't know. Why are you asking me? This is real old.

With tracing paper. You could have traced. one phone then take a mouse and stand up Jen and then cut it out and then stick it on. It's entirely like you can't do it without a smart way. The second is he said pre-kids. I immediately imagine it's like the 1920s. Everything before my children I imagine it's like for more electricity.

It feels like a different time. A different era. It does include the pandemic. It just feels like a different era though, doesn't it? So when you went, oh no, this is pre-kids. I went, it must be pre-mobile phone. No, no. I've been around well now.

No. No, they have. But I always think I'm younger than I am. Okay. So was this early in your romance with Ellis? For the listener, we should explain Ellis is your partner and you've got, as you said, kids now. So is this when you first started hanging out and coating, as my granddad would say. What?

Coating. I thought he said coiting. Coating. Coating. Coating. Were you going out with each other by them? Yeah. I reckon it was about 2011 or 2012, something like that.

So it was about 10 years ago. I mean, I can imagine, if you were banging to. stuff like this and he was up for it. If you were banging, if you were banging, but if you wanted to face someone and you didn't know what they were like and then you'd go, you're up for a face swap and they were like 100%.

You're like, he's a keeper. Right. He's going to be like a litmus test. Yeah, yeah, definitely. For your enthusiasms, let's say, Ellis is like prime, yeah, let's face swap. He looks, his expression is a little bit hesitant though, isn't it?

His smiles a bit. He almost looks like, I'm just doing this for, just doing this for her sake. Yeah, that's right. There's a lot of love in there. But then I look very kind of serious. Can we bring it back? Yes.

I did an amazing one with Tim Key. So what I sometimes used to do, I sometimes used to do a double face swap where I can't quite remember how I used to do it. I think I used to swap faces and then maybe swap them back. But the effect was really kind of odd and eerie. And I did one with Tim Key like that. And one of those was like, this sort of odd

limpid-style creature in an anorak. I think I'd swatped it around so many times. It's amazing. You're creating characters, people. I mean, you're kind of like the, you know,

the children you and Tim Kee would have had initially and then you create the goblins that you and Tim Kee might... Yes. It's a very parallel version. Yeah, yeah. Often when people will offer us a picture of them with their life partner,

it might be, you know, a really romantic one or wedding photo or one, you know, in a beautiful like landscape. And you've given us this. Yeah. A face swap of you and Ellis, which is kind of... And I love it. What's this next picture? Next picture is, yeah, me and the guy doing a short film.

So the other guy's called Jake Cullen. And he and his brother wrote this short film called The Attendant. And it was the first job that I did after having. Betty and the reason I love this photo so much is it was that weird thing when I don't know if you found this after I had Betty I was like was so overwhelmed by having a baby that I didn't really understand and work would like you to and be sort of being creative had always been such a big part of who I was ever since I was can remember then suddenly I was like I love this child I don't want to be away from them and I can't ever really imagine going back to my old life but also

that's part of me. So how do I ever kind of get back part of who I am and also be a mum? And it was this weird, there was a weird time where I sort of got it wrong for a while and after I did this short, I sort of then did too much. And at one point I was on tour and I was filming and I was still not breastfeeding, but maybe expressing what the very least sort of she needed me to get to sleep. And then I got quite ill. I got this migraine associated vertigo thing where it's just basically my body going like, like, slow down. Yeah. And now I feel like I've got the balance so much better. Like, I really, really do. But it really took time and having two kids. The reason I love this photo is because it, having said that I needed to slow down and I did, it's still really important to me to keep that part of me because it is part of me. And you do look so happy. Yeah.

And I can't remember what he was saying, but he was really, really making me laugh. So he and his brother wrote and directed it. They were both so, so cool. It was a really simple idea. and it was just me and another actor at a petrol station it was a night shoot was just one night they got pizza for us all and I always remember the guy who owned the petrol station

just standing to the side and eating the pizza and chatting to all the crew and that was just a really lovely yeah yeah and it was a very sweet story it was about a lonely guy who worked at a petrol station and created a robot for himself out of all the boxes and it was with Rob James Collier from downtown abbey which I loved and these two worked on downtown abbey

at the time and I was upset obsessed with Down to Lab because it was the thing I watched when I was breastfeeding. Yeah. I used to watch it. So that was part of that life as well. A memory of something. Because I remember all the books I read when I was breastfeeding and all the programs I watched when I was breaking. It's such a quiet.

It is. And also you have this thing I think where you're feeding them where you're like, I'm keeping them alive. Yeah. So I can watch what I want. With Steph, stuff wouldn't breastfeed. But still when I was like, I'm giving him his milk now. So I'm going to watch back-to-back episodes of Kirby Enthusiasm. If he falls asleep on me, I'm afraid he's going to have to sleep

because if I'm moving me, might wake up. And I think it's the only time you can sort of go, yeah, actually, I'm just going to watch. And I used to watch episodes and episodes of Downton. Can I ask you a question? Do you think that post kids you feel like your career stepped up, not necessarily in terms of like making more money or, but I just mean creatively. Do you feel like you became or felt? more creative after your children were born or were more productive or less?

Immediately afterwards I felt like I was in a bit of a fog in terms of how I would make it work. Like even logistically, you know, like how would I get to this gig if they need me and how who would look after them? And then as the dust sort of settled, yeah, I think ultimately it may be more bold creatively. I have to say, I think since I've had them, especially as you have less time. Yeah, time is really precious. I think I'm far more productive and more focus. You don't waste time. The only reason why I ask that is because I feel like once my children were born and I think partly due to like sleep deprivation, I feel like my stand up changed. Oh, my standup definitely changed. Just changed. If I was going to drive to somewhere and do a set, I wasn't going to worry about being needy. I wasn't as needy. I was much more like, just shut the fuck up, all right? Because I've made it here to Ashby de la Jouge.

Okay? And I've got to go home immediately after. In fact, the car's running. So just shut the fuck up. Yeah. It was much more commanding. Also, it gave me a sense of like a very kind of, a very deep sense of having to earn for my family.

So, like, I remember being scared of doing certain panel shows and stuff. And then if I got offered them after I'd had Betty, I was like, what's the money? I'll do it. Like, it made me far more ruthless. And I was like, yeah, I'll do it. And I was far more confident in them. Because I was like, it's the same.

I just, I was like scared absolutely shitless of doing panel shows before the kids. And then honestly, I feel exactly the same. As soon as my kids were born, I was like, I don't care what it is. What's the, what's the money I'll do it? And I found it, maybe not at the time, because I was so tired. But I found it. I found it liberate. I find it liberating now.

Yeah, me too. But I've, but, you know, works more like that. Again, it's a, it's a lovely photograph for capturing rather than a picture of the kids, which is, you know, a way of talking about motherhood or becoming a parent or whatever, but of you doing something creative and productive after having just had the kids and what that evokes for you.

Yeah, and because also we are very creative and playful in our house. Like, you know, Ellis does, is a very creative person. We make up songs and stuff and we sort of, you know, I'm not saying that we're, you know, we're not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But I think one thing we always do is, try and have fun. So, but if, if I'd, like, if I'd lost that side of myself,

I just don't think I would have been as happy. Yeah. And I feel like I bring it in. Why should you have to use that side of yourself? Yeah, I know. It's true. But I did struggle for a while. I was like, what am I?

And then I tried to take her with me to gigs. And I found it so stressful. I was like, no, I can't, that is not for me. I can't, I can't do that. Yeah, I don't think I could see kids. We're at a gig. But I think that's really interesting as well because I think there is a sense of maybe losing your identity,

albeit briefly. Oh, yeah, and did you find that for a while, like you'd go to meetings, especially with like guys? And they'd be like, how's motherhood? And you'd be like, um, fine, but we're here to talk about a script. Or, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Sometimes, or even the other day, like, who's looking after the kids?

And I'm like, their dad? Yeah, I used to get that all the time. They'd be like, wait, said, who, who's the kid? Are you fucking joking? Yeah, I know. And also, if they, if, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the table, you know, when the tables are turned and they're going out, like, when Ellis is, no one's going, Ellis. Who's got the kid? It's so true.

Yeah, it's so fucking annoying. Should you be having that second drink, Ellis? Betty does come to gigs now. That's she? Yeah. So, did a gig with Josie long and she had, um, her child, their daughter. And Betty and her really got on. So I was like, Betty, do you want to come with me?

And it was up in Hackney. And she. came and it was amazing like she kept a swear tally of every act no so kiri was emceeing i was on josie was on um i think it was joint between kiri and someone else i i only swore twice because of betty being there yeah and how did you feel performing knowing she was watching it was fine because she was with josie and josey's friend and they were up at the top because i we found it really funny about the spurt and she got sort of quite giddy and she started trying to pitch a show in the green up say, we should do a show where, because she was up so late,

and she'd had loads of sweets in the dressing room. She was like, I want to pitch a show where we count how many comics swear. It could be on prime time TV. She doesn't even know what that means. But you were with mates as well on that. So I think I, for a long time, I wouldn't take kids to gigs because I found it so stressful. I do now, I do let them come and because they enjoy it, like you say,

and it's kind of special for them. And I think the COVID times did change that in me, because prior to that, I never let them come to gigs. I very rarely let immediate family come to me. Oh yeah, I'd much rather betty came than my mum. Oh, I mean family in is a nightmare. And also just when it's your kids and you want people to be kind and like your kids and you want your kids to be charming and fun and sweet.

And it's just too stressful to be at work because it is, as we were just saying, it's work. And you're being in mum mode and you want to look like a nice cool mom, a kind of easy-going green. I know. It's lots of things colliding. And then underneath you're like, do you want to just shit the frat down. not make me look like a wanker, you know, and there's just too much going on. No, I know. I always picture, like, her being, like, telling jokes of the green room and everyone being really happy and then was me taking her for a milkshake afterwards.

And of course, the reality is, it's sort of fine. There are bits that are difficult, bits that are great, but only a few bits. It's a bit like Christmas, you know. And then I got, you know, a few nice memories, fleeting ones. It will be really be good photos. It'll come over, well. It'll be all right in the edit. It'd be all right in the edit.

Yeah, I couldn't, I could not take my... My kids. Have they never seen you perform? No, and I don't want them to. I swear too much. You talk about them? And I talk about them in it as well. Do you talk about Betty? Well, I do talk about her now. And in this last show that I just did, she, God, we had this.

So Chris Neal supported me. Oh, I love Chris. Me too. I love Chris Neal. I just, I'm a darling. Part of the reason I wrote a new show was so that he, I could go away together. I'm not lying. That's a great incentive.

We used to open plan what meal we were going to go for after. It was just be like, oh, that Indian. open till 11 right okay Chris you do 18 minutes and I'll do and um so Chris was with me and it was a bit of a so my mum and her partner and betty were there um and so betty watched chris's gig so there was a bit about fisting that thankfully went over her head um and then um she she was like taken to um the interval bit the bar with mum and jeff and then Chris had to go and get her and take her backstage because she couldn't watch my show because there's bits about her in it and bits about bits about other stuff that she can't see.

Yeah. So he had to keep her backstage and we had to make sure the relay, is that what it's called? Yeah, but turned down. Relay mic. She really needed a wee and she was like, please, can I go to the toilet? Chris, please. And he like knows her really well and he was like trying to make her laugh or pretending to be a sausage and things dancing around to distract her because he was so stressed because he was so

stressed because he was like, if she goes for a wee, because the toilet wasn't in the dressing room and he knew that you could hear. the show from the corridor because you had to sort of walk past the wings to get to the toilet and he was like I can't risk it because there's sort of a chunk that she can't hear but also when kids need a wee

they got to go yeah I know and then he felt I came out and did she do it in the bucket or something I mean I think it nearly got to that point and she went and then he was like I feel really guilty I didn't let her go for a wait and I think it was quite stressful for him

and I was like why I think it's a big idea like why I'm never to the moral of this This is never. Bring your kids to a gig. Take your kids to a gig. Who is this?

So this is me and my two best friends from school. No face swaps this time. There are real faces. That's a good footnote, isn't it, for your offerings? Every photo I show anyone, I should have NB. These are our real faces. These are our real faces. So this is Hannah and Caroline.

Caroline's got the long hair. And we've been best friends since school. and we try and go away once a year and we were in Bath recently I was going to ask if that was bath Yeah it was car Do you know what this is like the only normal photo In a way I've got of the four isn't it

Because I suppose yeah If I'd had like a wedding photo And a photo of me as a baby And but yeah This is the most conventional Of all the photos It's very conventional And because I hate

I absolutely hate I think it's very boring Just to take photos Of like smiling in front of So I'm doing a slightly odd Smile But you look so relaxed Oh yeah we'd

Honestly, we had such a laugh. And it's that thing, isn't it? Where when you get a weekend with people... Especially mates. Yeah. You really bed in that way that you can't, if it's just a meal out or I feel like... I love waking up in an Airbnb,

in a quirky Airbnb, with people I love and just... And having a coffee and, you know, just having breakfast and just chatting, stay. And it reminds me if I used to... to live with Caroline for years and you know I was single at a lot of that time we used to have a lot of parties and it really reminds me of those days where we used to get up and make a pot of tea lie on the sofa and like maybe we'd you know had a party night before sort of go over

what happened and it's just yeah I think it's proper good mate and if you have lived together there is a definite ease my old flat mates that there's definitely a sort of shorter I think there is even if there's a girl I used to live with that I was at drama school with and I don't see her very much She lives in Manchester, and we lived with each other for years. And we used to bicker sometimes. And when I see her, it is just like she's a member of my family. Like, there's absolutely no frills. There's no heirs and graces.

Yeah, living with people is a very special, unique relationship, isn't it? Having sort of shared digs or fratmates. Yeah, doesn't always work out, does it? No, not always. But if it is a good mate and it's a golden time and you know it's not going to last forever, because that's not, you know, a life plan, is it, to live with your mate? No, although. You always always always are it's temporary.

I had a second period that I didn't expect to have of living, like, so I had the time, I lived with Caroline, and then I met someone and we lived together and we got engaged, and then we broke up, and I'd had my whole life mapped out because the wedding was booked and everything. Oh, wow. And then, um. I don't think I know. Maybe not.

Like probably sort of 2007-ish. 2008. I remember. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. And then I sort of, you know, we broke up, we called off the wedding. It was six months away. It wasn't like sort of ready to go right day before we went down the aisle. But still. I must have known you then. You probably did. Um, but then, you know what? I remember you being with him one Edinburgh. Yeah. We think we were together for two Edinburghs and it just didn't work out. But I had this life ahead of me that kind of planned out that we'd kind of plan together and it was very much you know this is what this is what gonna happen

we'll get married we'll probably have kids and then suddenly I was like oh I don't have anywhere to live I'm single I don't know whatever I was 31 32 and I was like what am I gonna do so I moved back in with not back in well back into that kind of scenario I lived with a guy from college who was who hadn't known that well then who oh my god it's like the biggest laugh in the world

I lived with various actors including Cobnaut who you know Carrie like it was and then we have this Russian violinist living there and we had like it was it was honestly it was like being in a sitcom where it I was like oh I've kind of living this second adolescence yeah it was sort of incredible to be back in I felt really unsafe like I was in a warm nest and also I was like I'm not having any relationships right just not just going to have fun yeah just going to have loads of fun I'm going to go out I'm going to went out in Camberwell a lot had a lot had a lot of loads of sort of mates who live close by and then I met Ellis about a year later. So I feel like I got that extra bit. It's almost like having a pudding that you didn't know. It was coming. It's finding a chocolate bar in a coat pocket.

Oh, I didn't know that was there. Yeah, it was like that. But I feel like when you've got that friendship. That you're not with your partners or your kids because I've got a lot of people I go away with that are family friends and we all get on and blah blah, blah. But to be just with your mates and you're not with your partner and your kids, you know, it's exclusive.

about French. You must save a fortune on therapy because the money spent on a busier Airbnb once a year where you go... You do it all. We're going to really dig in. I'm going to say all my feelings.

We're fixing it all in this 24 hours. Yeah. And we're having fun. We went for a sound bath as well which was a bit like therapy. What is a sound bath? It's gone in it. So, yeah.

Someone recommended it to me and I was like... It's not your thing. What do you mean? It's not your thing. What do you mean? I can just imagine you in a sound battle because look at you're guesstas now

you're holding your head Yeah In anticipation No not in anticipation In stress and judgment Wow Listen you'd hate it Can you drown in one

You'd hate it No you can't drown in it So I thought it was a flotation tank That's not It's just lying on the floor And someone bangs a gong around you and stuff See that's the measure of how relaxed you are With those particular mates

Is that you would Well I think they were slightly apprehensive about it So I said I'll as a massage and then I said I booked us for a gong bath as well it was only 15 quid before the massage and they were like okay what's a sound bath what's a gong bath what's a they gog bath and they they went by there and especially caroline so caroline the one with the long hair she's like really into horses and she's a very practical person this is my theory about people who are into horses I think they're often very very practical people yeah and she really liked it and that's the test

because she you know I don't think she's ever done anything like that try it I'm going to try it you should try it there's two gong sound things I bet they're right. You live in Brighton, Jane. Oh my God, Jen, there'll be three on your road. Yes. I'm amazed you haven't just walked into one. You'd probably do it without knowing it.

You've probably walked up and the street with a little of a bell. You've done what? I thought he was a rag and bone man. I just gave him some... Just walked through a gong bar. Just gave him an old fridge and off he went. How long? Just so I would like prepare myself.

How long? Asking for a friend. Ask you for a friend. Yeah. I'll give you a gong bar. Oh, fuck. I've got some drums and I've, I've got one of those meditation,

well. Yeah, but I'm worried about where the stick would land. It's not going to be landing on the drum. Thank you for your photographs. You're very brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And they are very, can I say this, you? They're very you.

And that's why they're even more special. If there was a track that you attached to one of those pictures or a piece of music that would be attached to one of those, or your whole life, just like something that conjures up a particular time. If we were going to montage your life, what would the soundtrack be? You know how your phone sends you a montage?

Oh, yeah, and then they sort of... And they pick... And they... Sometimes it's really, really upbeat. Yeah. Or the opposite. It's like really fokey. Or it's really sad.

Why is it? It looks like you died. Yeah, like, it's like I'm watching my flipping eulogy or... So what music would you put to your montage of those pictures? I think it's one of those tracks from the phone that's from a library. Here is Izzy. She was really into skating but had no wheels. No.

If I, the first one that springs to mind is the overture from Joseph and the amazing technical or dream coat. Because that's what I always sing with Hannah, the one with the short hair. Oh, really? So it may as well. Yeah. So the one that was way, way back many centuries ago. Not long after the Bible began.

That one. You should sing that in a sound bath. I'd lie down and just listen to you singing that really quietly. Yeah. Bring it. Long, long time. Thank you so much, I mean. Oh, Izzy, thank you.

That was perfect. Thank you. I love Izzy. I love her stories. I love her photos. I knew she'd deliver. She came, she's the only person we've had so far that came with an album.

A physical album. When she got that photo album out, I had a little bit of when, oh, I suddenly went, because everyone is, remember that? Well, I mean, we've all got photo albums, but I would never,

it would never occur. to me to bring it. I'd just like take photos of the photos and then bring the photos of the photos with me on my phone. But I really enjoyed the fact and also that some of the photos, in fact, I don't think Izzy will mind me saying that, but a lot of the photos

in the album were really crap. There were fingers in front of the lens, they were slightly out of focus. Sometimes you just got a person's hand over someone's face. It was like all the photos that you expected to, that you as a teenager or as a kid took in the 90s because you couldn't take a photo, you didn't

what you were doing. And also once it got, like, once you took it to snappy snaps, you got what you got, didn't you? That was it. You weren't going to be like, oh, I'll delete that. It was so lovely. And that is the end of this episode, Kerry. But I... It is. Is there anything you want to say, Jen? Is there anything you want to sell? Yes, actually, Kerry. It's funny you should mention that. Thank you for... Wow, that was smooth. Yes, I would. I'm really good at least. You're absolutely nailing the links. This is why I shouldn't have gone into advertising, because I'd just come on the tell you, go, buy this! Yeah. And there would be...

No subtext. There's absolutely no. I mean, I'm delighted you didn't go into advertising because it's, your sales pitch is very aggressive. Buy it now! Look, you want it. You know you want it. Get it.

That would be. All right, Kerry, I'm bloody buy it, mate. Back off. Sell what you want to sell. This is our market store. This is our moment. This is our perfect moment. I am on tour still, Kerry.

I don't know if you know about this about me. Yes, it's the never-ending tour. I finished for the summer, but it's starting back up in September. By the end of it, you'll be walking on stage like Elton John at Glastonbury. You will be hobbling on. Yeah, with a zimmer. You'll have to wheel me on. Like in one of those little wheelbarrows, Kerry will just wheel me on.

Then like dump me onto the stage. I'll scramble up. Come on. I'll come and get you in an hour. All right, kids. Is this on? Here we go. Did you hear the one about?

Anyway, that is what I'm doing. I'm on tour. You can get a ticket. If you want to know where I'm on tour, you can go to my website, janebrista.com.com. All of my dates are on there. I'd very much like you to come to see me. I think I said, listen, this is, look, I'm going to be earnest and sincere now. I've seen this show and I laughed all the way through.

I had a lovely time. That's what sales pitch. In fact, Kerry, you should be in advertising. Yeah. I mean, that didn't sound like I was selling, did it? It just sounded like a mate just really recommended. a great thing. Yeah, great.

Just go and see Jen's show. She's doing loads of them and she'll be coming to you. Yeah. Just go and see her. That did say a bit threatening. I didn't mean it to sound quite as threatening. I actually respond really well

to aggressive confrontational women, but I'll be honest with you, it's not for everyone. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday?

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