Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E03: Jake Lambert

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

"Two great quotes... Kids love to bounce and They're in science..." Jake takes Kerry and Jen on a tour of his life - from all around the world Photo 01 - Kids love to bounce Photo 02 - Holidays in Florida Photo 03 - Nearly moving to Canada Photo 04 - More than a free lunch Photo 05 - Sleeping with Ted and Tough Ted PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page.

So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. It was a rare, lovely thing that we got to get together last weekend. Yes. I can't remember. Well, we have gig together off and on, like charity things, but it was very nice to do such a lovely outdoor Brighton, summery. It was really nice.

Also, it was an afternoon show, which meant that you and I, when it finished at whatever it was, I think it was 6.30. So we did the Brighton Comedy Garden and it finished at 6.30. And then we had an evening off. Yeah, I had a lovely time. A lot of my friends, including you, obviously, live in Brighton. So I kind of create this. And then we do the whole thing where I think,

shall we move to Brighton? And then Ben says, are we going to do this? We're going to do this, right. And then we get on right move and we have a little look. And then we talk about it. And then we drive home to London and we get on with our lives. Absolutely. And I believe that I have been included in those conversations as well

for at least the last seven to eight years, maybe. And in a look, they will never end those conversations. No. And I'll miss them when, because they might end. They might. you might start another circular conversation. I might end up moving to Brighton. So that might...

Kerry, the day that that happens, wow. There'll be fireworks. There'll be a street party. They'll be some sort of fiesta. That boy Slim played the beach down there. Yeah. Do you know what? There will be.

That'll be the equivalent, except there'll just be six of your mates just standing. I'd like that. Outside the pier. Yeah. It's all like... With a pinniata and a...

Yeah. I mean, the thing is, it is appealing. But then you just described the horror show of trying to get back from a Regents Park gig the following day. And that's when I go, actually, no, thank you. Because the equivalent of me living in London and having the odd lovely weekend down in Brighton, but you come up to London all the time for work, because that is the nature of our work, a lot of it's up here. And then you have these nightmare journeys getting home. Well, it wasn't that it was a nightmare.

It was that I would, because I was doing Bridget Christi's show at Regent's Park Opener Theatre. And I would have loved to just hang back and have a cheeky beer with Bridge and Rob Orton, who was also on, and Tim Lewis, who was teching. And just have a, you know, just a slight social kind of interaction with a mate. And I couldn't. It's up for a balmy evening in Regent's Park. Yeah. Because the trains were up the spell. Yeah, and I couldn't.

But you're frightened, so you can't. No, I can't, no. It must be, it maybe it is for the next chapter of life. Like now, it's not for now, it's for later. Okay, all right. Well, when we're both nearly dead, I look forward to inviting you, we can, the bowling club, the bowling green. In like mobility scooters down that promenade.

Yeah. You'd have moved to Cornwall by then, won't you? You'll be like, we're done with Brighton, Cal, we've moved to Cornwall now. Absolutely not. Absolutely never. No. Listen, I can just about, when I left London, the only reason I could move to Brighton was its proximity to London. And now that I'm in Brighton, that's as far away as I can go. And you are happy there, aren't you? All the brightly. Absolutely. I don't know anyone who lives in Brighton that's like, oh, God, why did we move here? What a nightmare? I wish I knew someone who did hate it. That would really help. Absolutely, nobody. And in fact, comedians who are the miserable, most grumpy, cup half empty. misanthropic bunch. Every single comedian that lives down here that's moved down here has gone, why don't I move down here 10 years ago? What an idiot?

I'm having the time of my life. Bar none, Kerry Godleman, bar none. But anyway, I feel like you've made the right decision. You carry on. I look forward to the continuation of this conversation. Ad infinita night it her tongue, tom. Yeah, yeah. Forever.

Yeah, yeah. Who's our guest this week? Oh, our guest is the joketotect-tastic, hilarious. Really lovely chap actually. It's Jake Lambert. I love Jake. Jake has been my, do we say support act? Because that seems like a sort of old phrase now. What do you say? Like they open for you or? Yeah. I mean, I still say, I say my wonderful support. Yes. But then that kind of sounds like they do other things for me, which they do. Well, Jake does do one. He drives me to the gigs. He's delightful support. Emotional support. We, emotional support. We,

chat and chat and chat. I've done car journeys with Jake where I've lost my voice on the way to the gig. Because you're talking so much. Because we were talking so much. And I've said to him, we can't talk, Jake, because we've both got shows to do when we get to Yorkshire. And then he's like, yeah, you're right, you're right. And then we just start talking and we don't stop. Wow. I'm very much a person that needs a quiet time. Yeah. So what I'll do is whilst they're talking, I'll just put on a pair of noise-canceling headphones and that inter-exam conversation is over. I just couldn't do that to Jake. You just so lovely.

You just do it, but you do it slowly. What you do, care, is you hold them above your head as an indicator. Can you see something's about to happen? And then they keep talking and you just, as they're talking, you lower it, lower it, lower it. And eventually as they finish your sentence, you just plop them on and go, I'm just going to have a little listen to a podcast and then they stop talking. Wow. Well, I would challenge you that you wouldn't do that to Jake. You wouldn't have it in you.

It would break your pop. Because he would look at you and go, when should we stop for sandwiches? And then we'd like, yeah, when shall we stop for sandwiches? Should we have M&S or waitress sandwiches? And then you're talking about sandwiches for 15, 20 minutes. It's a beautiful mind. And I think it's time that we just, you and I stop talking so we can hear this beautiful mind at work. Jake Lambert.

Yay, my lovely support act. We've been on tour forever now. haven't we? Yeah, we've been on tour together since early 2018. Bloody hell. He remembers what we had for tea on every single one of those gigs. Oh my God. If I say a date or a place.

But that's because when we go back on the next tour, I get the sheet from Flo, our agent, saying Kerry wants to know which gig she liked and can you also put what you had for food. So I ended up filling the spreadsheet. Yeah. Jake, that's worrying. You'll be like Salisbury falafel.

He just likes it. And it was good falafel. That's what you need, though. You need that kind of support. I don't even mean on stage, I just mean generally. In life. In life, yeah. To help you remember things.

But that's the thing as the support act. You're not just the person that goes on stage before the... No, you are my key worker. Well, I'm certainly not that because once with the camera, I had to go on after her to turn up so late that she went on first. Then there was an interval, then I went on. No, yeah. That was so late.

Where was that? Richmond and Yorkshire. I do remember things. Well done. Yeah. She played that tiny... We had Subway. You got Subway on the way, do you remember?

Well done. Oh, look all these kids are cute. Jake, all of these kids are cute. Which one is you? I was actually wondering if you would be out of spot which one is me. All right, I'm going to take a guess. Can I take a guess? You're the one with the England top on?

Yes. Oh, yes. You haven't changed. No, I'm still wearing that top. How old are you in that picture? I think. Let me take a look here. Does it say slough on that inflatable?

It does. Yes. Yes. Well spotted. Where did you grow up, Jake? Unfortunately, slough. But it's part of who I am. Is this your gang?

Are you still? This was, yeah. That's why I thought it's a good one. These would have been at that age. These would have been like my world. That would have been it, yeah. So how old are you? You reckon you're about six or seven, maybe I reckon.

Yeah, I'd say maybe five or six. But then I always looked younger than I'm so. You do look like a very happy child. Would you say you had a... Do you know what? I was happy. This is, this birthday, I remember. Which is your birthday?

Well, what happened was my friends were all playing on the bouncy castle. And my mum said, and up this point I wasn't, my mum said, are you going to plan it? And I said, no, I'll go and plan it tomorrow when they were all gone. Because I thought it was my presence. Oh, Jay. So it's lucky that I still do look happy. Because the next day. Someone had to tell you it was going.

Yeah, I didn't realize. So I was going to deflate it along with your dreams. I thought that was now our garden. So that was in your garden? Yeah. Oh my God, you must have had a huge garden. No, I think that literally covered the garden. It must have been just perfect.

But wasn't it a great feeling when you were at that age to, if you were allowed to be on it when they deflated it? Did you ever have that? No. And it starts to cave in around you. Oh, God, yes. It's brilliant. They are brilliant things, Bouncycott.

Tiny bit dangerous. They are dangerous. Oh, are they? A little bit of jeopardy. Well, now you've got to, well, I mean, oh, God, there's so many awful stories, isn't there? Because if they're not hooked down and there's a brie and a wind, they go.

They go high. There are stories with them. them and also I don't know if you've noticed now with the bouncy castles you know in between the ridges they seal those now do you remember did you ever used to get stuck in between in the messy castle you get stuck in between the ridges and then like your your sibling or your mate will try and pull you out and you're I got my arm pulled out of its socket oh my god with my brother trying to pull me out of one of these but now I was like I was like because that was the first thing I was thinking with the kids when I let my boys go and one I was like oh I've got to be

careful with the I was like oh no look they've they've sealed them and they're now health and safety. But back in the 80s, it was like, yeah. Kids do love to bounce. We offer down next door neighbors when our kids are outgrowing the trampoline, right? We were like, do you want it? Because it saves us getting rid of it

and we'll just put it over the fence. And they, I think they must have work in science. I don't know what happened. Anyway, they went no, because they had knowledge and stats and they were like, they're really dangerous. Like trampolines, but kids bouncing is dangerous. That whole bit from Kerry that had my two favourite centres I've ever heard.

One was kids love to bounce. Another one was, they're in science. They're in science. It's true. Kids love to bounce is a quote. When my kids died at secondary school, they said we've got loads of after school clubs. All the year sevens like doing trampolining, but they all stop in year eight because little kids like to bounce.

They do like to bounce. The worst thing about having little kids that likes to bounce, we didn't, our garden couldn't fit of trampoline even if we wanted it. But if they go anywhere where there is one, my kids will bounce. And when they were really little, because I was paranoid about them, you know, flying off. Going down the cracks. Yeah. I would go with them and you can't.

I just, a woman of a certain age, you can't bounce. No. I just felt like something was going to fall out of me. It was just an absolute nightmare. Like, Mama bounce. I'm like, I can't bet. That wasn't going on for Jake in this picture. Was that a special birthday?

Just mine. So yeah. Fine, Jake. Jake turning eight. This explains the monster we see before us today. Yeah, we were talking about having just had a child's birthday and we went to Laser Tag. Oh, brilliant.

Last time I did Laser Tag, I really took it too seriously. I kind of lost the plot a little bit. What age are we talking? How long ago? Well, I did not about six months. I took my kids and I, and then there was some really competitive kids. I was like, I'm going to beat you. I'm grown up.

Oh, God. So I'm going to be. beat you. Anyway, I was losing so badly that there was a little kid. It couldn't be more than two. And every time I needed to top up my score, I'd just go off to the kid, go, sorry, you're dead. And then I'd run off. And I still came to... I know, 22nd, up 23rd. Who are you? I'm the person that would do that to get back at a nine-year-old. That's the person I am. So you would say you'd had a happy childhood or not just at birthday. Are you still as spurs?

Yes. It's supposed to be playing football today, but I didn't do it because of this. Yeah, just down the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so I'm one of those lot. Oh, sorry. Don't be silly. No, it's nice to do.

That's good to know, though, because any of the comics that are doing football on a Tuesday, it's literally up the road. Yeah, yeah, you could, yeah. It's a good bunch to do that. So, um,

and what, do you do, is it like a 90 minutes? Do you run around for 90 minutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't just sort of get to half an hour and go, should we go to the pub?

No, it's proper. It's 45 minute halves. Not people like it, kids and picks the teams. They don't, they're not doing you to get to the pub. I understand. It's not like something to do pre the pub.

Well, come on, it is, isn't it? I understand fun, but also 90 minutes is, that's max fun, isn't that? It's a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun. And also, can you imagine running around for 90 minutes? No, I couldn't, but people that like doing that do that. Yeah, but I've looked at some of the comedians that are doing it, and my question is how, not why? Well, there are some who just sort of stand slightly on the side.

You pass the vault, and they pass it back, and then the game carries up. Because the age range is quite vast. And the fitness range. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to imply that about saying it, but maybe ages worse to say. I know quite a lot about football from being in a green room.

In fact, I had such a long conversation with Ian Stone about what was going on in the Premier League that he went, do you like football? No, I just listen to you. Go on and on and on and on. You should go on his podcast? Because he said to me, do you want to come on my football podcast? And I said, I don't know anything about football.

And he went, well, then no, don't come on because you can't play. He said, I don't want you then. I want people who know what they're talking about. Yeah, I mean, I think that's fair enough. And you're still mates with all these kids? In touch with certainly the bottom three here. That's amazing because that's not true of everyone that they take friendships through life from childhood.

Yeah, that's true, yeah. And from that early on as well, it's not even like when you're in secondary school. Like, you're just so young. Yeah, and so the three down the bottom, we all live down the same street. So we just know each other for years. And I haven't seen Luke for a long while,

but Jonathan we stay in touch. He's got two children now. I went to his wedding. I went to Luke. Actually, I was the best man at Luke's wedding. say the other side. Oh, were you? His wedding, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Do you keep it up or everyone just does that out of your crowd or? It wouldn't even say that's a crowd. It's sort of all individual but it just happens, I guess. I don't know. Do you think you're the best man because they're like, he's a stand-up comedian and he'll be a good at the speech?

I wasn't at the time. That was my first little gig. Was it? Was it? Horrendously nervous. It is quite, it's a big deal to give the best man speech, isn't it? Yeah. Because you are like, no one's expecting any of the other speeches to be any good, but yours,

they're like, yeah, this one's got to be. Yeah. I did it for Rosie and everyone was like, oh, it'll be a piece of piss for you, like my oldest friend and I was shitting myself. Were you? Oh, it really mattered. You really, it's not the jokes that you want to land.

It's the sincerity. Yeah. It's making it like special and memorable. Is it coming from, what was your title? I did her father's, her dad had passed away. Wow. So she said to me, will you do my father of the bride's thing? Wow.

That's really nice. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, it was. And because I was so touched to be art, I really didn't want to fuck it up. Yeah, right. Because I talked about her dad in it. Oh, yeah, of course.

Oh, God. Yeah, yeah. So, um, yeah, so people think that because if you're a public speaker or a comedian. What a word to stumble on? A public speaker. Um, and, you cut that, cut that, go. What I'm loving about Jake as a guest is that. Literally, you're just getting a little tiny roast every couple of minutes.

Um, he's had hours and hours of practice. Listen to me, Witter on. Yes, people think it's going to be a piece of piss, but it isn't. No, not at all. But what a way for you to trump my best man's story? Oh, God! You're the guest. Jake's the guest, it's not about me.

No, that's high phrase. It's very good. What a wrong. Yeah, but you've got friendships from when you were living. I don't think that's a common thing. I don't think it is either. And I don't think I'm... I mean, I've got a mate of mine who is sort of vaguely in touch,

but I don't see a regular... Like nobody that I'm like properly hanging out with that I was at school with in that was at primary school. Yeah, we yeah, we don't hang out like that but it's enough to be in touch and now social media helps obviously. Oh yeah. But also when we have been chatting, I have always been quite struck that your friendships are like he goes on these sort of that you'll tell us about your trip. Tell Jen about your annual lads. Oh the Cotswolds.

Yeah. Okay. And he arranges it. Just in a we last went in September and I don't know when this is. to go now so I want to break any illusions for anybody but it's some months after September and still not everyone's paid me. So they're not great.

Yeah. It's quite a lot of months after September. Yeah. You're not getting that money, Jake. That's not happening. So don't let them come next time. No, I'm not, I've refused to, I'm hoping somebody in the WhatsApp group will go,

hey, are we going again so I can go, no. Not until you pay me. But no one's eventually, so I'm just stewing it on my own. Well, it's set, well, before you told me that, I was going to say. It always sounds so lovely. It just goes on these groups and he arranges it. It's all like friends from comedy, friends from uni, friends from old jobs.

All the different different. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go back. Brilliant. I need to, sorry. This is my idea of hell. So you've got different friends from different groups. You comedy, uni, work, whatever.

Yeah. And then you bring them all together. I know. I've had to defend this on a podcast before. but it was because initially the first time everyone was for my birthday, big deal, my birthday. So, we're discovering here, Jake. Did you get about to Castle?

No, but next time. Yes. Yeah, as long as they pay up. I will do. That would be amazing to do, actually. But we get this place in the Cotswolds. I found it just online once and it's great. And now it's cheaper than having like a holiday home.

It's just somewhere we know, if we're going away, we don't even have to start thinking about where we're going to go. We just go. Yeah, I'll just book that in. So, because it was for my birthday, it was a combination of friends from university, friends from school, friends from home,

and people, yeah, friends from primary school. So people I'd known for years and years, and comedy, yes, it all came together. And so then it became that those group of friends became their own sort of group of friends. Oh, that's so cool.

Yeah. It's brilliant. So now there's, yeah. A friend matchmaker? Like getting your friend. together with your friends so that they're friends. Yeah, which out of context to me would also sound like hell. But because I know these guys,

there's also friends that I have that I don't invite because I don't trust them. So these are the ones I thought would all get on. I hope they're not listening to these podcasts. You'd be desperate to get in the gang, the Cotswold gang. If you're on the outside, you'd be like, how do I get in? That's quite a lot of pressure. Yeah, I'm figuring it now. I never really thought about it.

But that's quite something to have never thought about it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's true. I mean, if we were to do, it's a wonderful life. Yeah. And we were like, what would happen if Jake Lambert, you never existed? Oh my God. All of these people, all of these people would never have known each other.

And never had this incredible experience. And then you've been falling in love? No, no, no, I don't think so. But also as well, if people get older and have their own families and partners, and then they want to spend their weekends, not in the Cotswold with Jake and his gang. Some, two of them, three of them have children still come along. But you don't let them bring the children? No.

No. I was going to say, oh what, there are kids there. You just, no partners, no kids. It's the first time partners came. It's like a male bonding workshop. It sort of is that, I guess. Yeah, and it's last week, and then there's a local pub. Last time we walked down to the pub as well and had some drinks there,

then went back and ordered a big curry for everybody, which two of them still haven't paid for. And it was great fun. They're all cracks, I can see. It's not the perfect utopia than we thought it was at the beginning. Maybe that's not. why I'm a good friend. I'm just very forgiving or push over. Yeah, yeah. Wait for the podcast. You're a mugs.

But this is what I like about this podcast and this photo is because that says to me friendship and that is what I think that's a really lovely way of capturing something that is part of your life and your nature. What I should caveat is that none of them come to the courts. This is another separate group. Also, we could do the saratorials because I'm loving this guy's open shirt. just my hand you guys kind of like yeah just hanging by a bouncy castle what you're doing he seems to be wearing his school shorts Yeah That was Jonathan Stock

He was like the classic When you're growing up He was like a proper boy What you'd imagine Like if you like turned around for a second He'd be up a tree That self has a thing He used to always crack his head open

Oh God But I was quite old When I realised Looking back That I always thought at the time It was like an Easter egg I always thought his head Was opening up

And I was like Oh my God Like I couldn't believe it It refused to realise Oh no it's just like A cat in your head You're just cut in your head I thought every time his head was walking apart like in his straight.

It's funny when you don't know what that are saying. I was well into my adult life before I thought all intents and purposes wasn't intense like camping. Oh my God. You could have taken that to the grave and no one would have known. And ends me. I always saw ends me. Yeah. Well bits of meat.

Bits of meat. No. Two ends that meat. Yeah, no, I know that now, babe. Yeah. But for a long time. He probably just like the end of a sausage. I just thought it was bits of meat.

I'd say the phrase, we could make ends meet means we couldn't afford the good meat. But you couldn't get two bits of meat to be together. We just can't get these two bits of meat. My hands won't allow it. By the seven-time world's best leisure airline champions, Air Transat. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything.

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I participate in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. This I love. Yeah, what's going on here? Let's look at this next photo. This. So is this Jaws? What is this? This is Jaws.

So this is to sum up, oh, hollies. My mum worked and still works for American Airlines. Yeah. So we got to go to Florida a lot. Is this? Universal Studios. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

So that is properly impressive. So this is me and my sister, Hayley. bum bags this is classic 90s holiday for us I mean that is I mean going to Disney is an incredible holiday for a kid what I never had that

didn't get that you can now go as the parent No I didn't I went as an adult Oh I see you didn't go as a kid No I have been as an adult Not universal though that's another level Haley now their assistant Well universal in Disney

They're next to each other aren't they Yeah they're all like Well I'm a child when I'm going So I'm just sat in the back of the car To me they're all like one big field And did you realise it was a big deal when you were going? Oh yeah. Well, I remember the first time we ever got it was Christmas Day we woke up to find out we're going on Boxing Day.

Oh my God. Oh my God. That's magical. Yeah, it was incredible. So we were there for their fireworks at New Year's as well, like at Disneyland or Universal. But it was insane. And we would go and I remember my dad's brother would go as well. So he was there. So our cousins were there.

so we'd see them. And it was always like the best because it was me and then two sisters and you always sort of bick or whatever. It was the only time we'd all just, everyone just got along. It was unbelievable. We loved it.

And how were you when that happened? Or the first time, maybe I was about, I don't know, maybe about five or six. And then we went three times, I think three times in 90s, then we went actually in October 2001. Oh, wow. I think it was via New York.

We flew into New York a month after that. Really strange, yeah. But at the parks, no cues. I mean, there's always a global pandemic. What's one of the upsides of a global pandemic? No cues. No. And you ended up working at a theme park, didn't you?

They worked at Legerland. Bit of a couple. Oh, my God. Not quite the same. I mean, I've been to Legoland a few times now. Is it magic? I'm going to say there's a little bit of a gap between Lego Land. Disney.

Had you even seen Jaws by the time you stuck your head in this shop? Yes, I remember my dad telling me to get really close to the screen at the point where they're under the water when that face appears. That's really cool. That was my child, but I was still happy. I remember him going, I'll get close to you can see the shark in a minute and I get really close in the face just up here at the window. Oh my God.

I think that... Thanks a minute. He'll be listening. That ruined swimming for me in the sea for a long time that film. Oh my God. It's still ruined it for me. I'm absolutely terrible. It was my biggest fear of the ocean.

Really? You're hitting a shot. You don't look very stressed out there. Well, I think I was fully aware that one was either not real or dead. Yeah, you look pretty relaxed. Yeah, it had a lot to answer for, Jaws, didn't it? Oh, my God, yeah. But the reason why that film was so good was because whatever the mechanical jaws that they wanted to use, it wasn't working.

So Stephen Spielberg had to create suspense by you not seeing the... So that's why there's even more suspense. I think Jaws is more terrifying because you don't see Jaws. Yeah. That's sort of a trope of some sort, like you don't see the alien and alien until quite far in, do you? Not seeing the monster is part of... Yeah. Yeah, but I think, I mean, he's talked about this.

I mean, they had, they got this big mechanical shark, but they just couldn't, it wasn't working and they couldn't get it to work. And so he was like, oh God, we're just going to have to feel, we're going to have to do it without the shark. Do it with music. How are we going to do it? But yeah, but he did it with music. With two notes. Yeah. And also, you know, a lot of the time, you just see the person, something's tugging the person from,

from underneath or whatever. Yeah. It's something, that's even more terrifying. Like you said, because it's the un... It's your own imagination and nothing's worse than that because you just make your own fear. But it's, that's, yeah, still the ocean to me, absolutely terrifying.

Yeah, I have to say that even though I only swim in the English Channel, there was a bit of me that wonders if there's a shock going on underneath there. Don't you have that, Kerry? You're looking at me with a confusing expression on your face. No, I'm just trying to think if I've ever had that. And I don't, really. Didn't you have ever sibling that didn't, when you're swimming the sea, you go,

well, that's the flumps. No, that's... That's very different. I got jaws and the flumps mixed up there. You did. I think maybe I shouldn't have used that trumpet. And where are you in this next picture? More travelling and good times.

Canada. Canada? That looks incredible. Whereabouts? So that looks like it's up at Lake Louise. I think that's in our So it's definitely in Alberta Because my mum's best friend moved to Calgary

When I was 11 So Calgary looks incredible Yeah we went to have Christmas there When I was 11 went out there It was amazing Yeah ever since I was 11 We were going there

And then me and my mum would go every year Maybe every other year Then I got into university out there Oh wow Because I'd be international It'd be too expensive So I went to university here Then I went there afterwards

And how long were you living there for? Oh not long I thought I would work in like ski lot or get something like that up in Banff or something but I ended up really early trying to find a job and then I ended up working for like an oil and gas company and then next thing I was being sent up to a place there was a place called Fort McMurray

and then there's a place that's so north of it north of Fort McMurray because it's just nothing up there we just run out of names he sent me to this oil wig for like two days to see what the work was so I can understand it It was well when I got there there was these loud bangs happening like every certain amount of

And I was like, somebody can't be dropping something that often. What's happening? They're like, oh, that's loud noises we have to do to keep the wolves and the bears out. Oh, wow. Yeah, you know, like Liam Leeson in that film The Grey where he had the gun, they don't have that. I guess that's as a last result. Otherwise, it's just noises just to keep them away.

So every now and again, they just clang something? Just some loud, I think all on speakers, these big bangs just get played out just to get on to do it. So this relationship with Canada is sort of instigated by your mum's best mate moving out there when you were 11 and that started that up. Yeah, and then my parents were always go to like look at places, think about moving out there. Oh really? But then one of my sisters would have a baby and they were like, we can't, we shouldn't

we couldn't possibly do it. Do you think they might one day? I don't think so now, I don't think. It's so cold. Because they've got grandchildren and stuff. It is so cold. I mean, I think Calgary looks beautiful but it, I mean, they get temperatures of like minus 27 and it's like crazy out. I would go to work at minus 28 in the clock, sorry, about half seven in the morning about minus 28. And your skin freezes at minus 27. You have to cover everything. You walk outside and everything just starts to, like your eyelashes, everything just starts to, you can like throw water in the end it or like break as ice on the floor. Which is fun for a weekend but not for everything. Not for live is it?

So your next photograph is, oh, is you at a football stadium? Yes. So this is me and my dad at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, still yet to be named. However, what happened was they bought in a. guy, an American guy called Todd Klein. It's so American. Is there a more American? Todd Klein.

Let's get Todd Klein. This sounds like Ted Lassow story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the guy, he got the naming rights for the Miami Dolphin Stadium. I said, I'll talk to him. It was this big, I think it was, theirs was called the Hard Rock Cafe Stadium or something like this. It's like a big. I mean, yeah, of course it is.

Can you get more American? So they got him over. So anyway, I was doing the comedy store. Great weekend at the comedy store. Had a lovely time. I talked about being a Tottenham fan on stage. Just in a quick joke, have about that. Maybe two jokes.

And anyway, next day I wake up and he's followed me on Twitter. And I'm thinking, oh, this is a bit of a Todd Klein's come over. Maybe he's trying to get to know some sort of fans. He mess with me. So I was at the gig last night. Oh, wow. Loved you mentioning being a Tottenham fan. I'd love to invite you to a game.

So me and my dad, or I got to like take my dad. Obviously, he grew up as like a boy in Tottenham. Yeah. We then got to go to watch a game. we had this, like, champagne. We didn't drink the champagne, but it was there for us. But this big breakfast had to wear like suits, go into, go into the chairman's suite.

Oh, wow. And just have this whole experience. That's incredible. It was amazing. From a gig. Yeah. That's a few times as a stand-up comedian. You're like, well, this has panned out well.

Yeah, exactly. We just got to, it was amazing. The game was rubbish. But it was amazing. Brighton and we lost. What? Yeah. Everything else was so good about the day.

Have you ever got anything from doing a gig at the comedy school? Yeah. Just another gig at the comedy still. Another gig, you just get to go back again to six months. Yeah, you want to come back in a few months? All right. It was so cool. I don't think I've ever got anything

from a gig that's not comedy related. Like, someone might see you and go, oh, do you want to come and do this other gig? Yeah. There's something that's not comedy related from a gig. I'm just trying to think if I've got anything, I can't think. Abuse, you've had abuse. I've had an old, yeah, I've had an old raft of abuse, Harry.

Do you want to see my photo of me? Right, so I went to see Crystal. Palace. Oh yeah. I remember you're going. No, no, no. I think Osb would be the day before you're about to go. Okay. Well, this is who I met there. Amazing. Amazing. All right. So, because this is not a visual format. So let's talk about who. So I went to see Crystal Palace with Joe Brown. We went in January and I've been to see Palace a few times and they're down the road. So if I had to think, let's say it is my team. I mean, I'm not really a big football person, but I's quite like it. I'm going to say palace fans are going to say it's, you're not welcome the tone. I'm Eagles. All day

long. I'm Palace till I die. And so, and it literally is down the road. I mean, if you're going to have a reason to support a team. Yeah, geography. Yeah. I is my local team. So we went to see them and Dot Brown was there because there's a few comedians that are Palace. Mark Steele and, uh, anyway, Dot Brown was there and, um, went with Joe Brand, who's Palace and uh, Garret Southgate was there. Now I wasn't going to wait. So did you, did he go, oh, carry a love afterlife? No. So what? One of the women that invited me... Because a lot of footballers do like it.

They do. They were all tweeted about it. Well, Gareth didn't mention it. So we were at a table and this lovely woman who invited us, she was there with her daughter, who was 1718, and she was fan-girling that Gareth Southgate was there. So she got her picture taken with him and I thought, I'll jump on the slipstream of that. I was like, what she is? I thought, could I have a picture, please, Gareth? And then I got that.

And I was over the moon with that picture. My mother was living. that I didn't post it. He was like, why didn't you post that? You should have put that on Instagram. I know. That's an Instagram. What's the point of Instagram?

Honestly, Kerry, what is the point of your Instagram? I don't know. Every now and again, you'll put a picture. I could have gone viral. There were some of your photographs on Instagram. I'm going like, I don't even know why I'd bother putting that up. And then you got that picture and you can put it up. And we need to talk about it because it's actually annoying.

He did, he clearly, he's just a nice bloke, isn't he? I mean, he just went along with it. But you could see, I mean, it must get annoying in the end that people just want to, he must have been like, what the fuck? Who are you? What was happening? In fact, that's the same with anyone who else from Facebook. Exactly. Exactly. And it's, I tell you what was lovely, just seeing him there. Why would he have been there, Jake? Because I'm not a football person.

Scouting for England. Scouting for England. And isn't there in England? Because they were playing Newcastle. So there might have been England players playing. And he goes to see them live. So isn't there a palace? I think there's one. And I can't remember his name. It's a half. Your squad. Anyway. I am so bored.

James' conversation. Fuck you. This is football chat. I'm going to ring Ian Stone and get on his podcast. Yeah, off the back of that. Yeah, off the back of that. So I did put that on stories.

I didn't post it on normals, but I did immediately get an email the next day from Lloyd Griffiths and Reese saying, oh, do you want to come out of football podcast? I said, ah, a bit of false advertisement. I see why he didn't put that up on your feed. I'm only going to get invited to be on footballing podcast now,

and I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. You could go on this podcast. You could go on this podcast. You could give your opinion, and you look angry about it. It's very computational. Now streaming on Paramount Plus is the epic return of Mayor of Kingstown.

Warden? You know who I am. Starring Academy Award nominee Jeremy Renner. I swear in these walls. Emmy Award winner Edie Falco. You're an ex-con who ran this place for years. And now, now you can't do that. And BAFTA award winner Lenny James. You're about to have a plague of outsiders descend on your town.

Let me tell you this. It's going to be consequence. Mayor of Kingstown, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus. We've got one last picture here right at the end. Now this is, we're going back in time again. Oh yeah, we're going back in time. I think I would like to cover it. It's like back to the future.

We're going back to the future. We're going back to the back. So is that you? You're an angel. That's me. Christmas Eve. Sitting in a bed of, oh, it just looks like, are you in a cot? No, that was my wallpaper.

In a father Christmas, that? Is this Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve. And you're so excited. because it's going to be Christmas Day and on Boxing Day you're going to go. I don't even know what's happening in the next day. I think this is also four years later. So tell us about this.

So these are, I should say, surrounded by me here. So to my left is Ted and then to my right is tough Ted. Why do kids always have to say what they see? My kids are like, what's this one called? It's called Lion. And this one, giraffe. This one's called cat. Yeah, I don't think my creative brain develops a few years later.

a bit later. But they still stay on my bed every day. What? To this day, he's still there. And he's got a girlfriend. How do you get late?

Jake. I've lost all respectfully now. You thought he was cold, didn't you? I did. No. Yeah, that's how I sleep every night. I still got that hat on. I bet your girlfriend's well, please.

Oh, man. How do you explain that when you first go to bed with a girlfriend? I think it's that they're too awkward to ask and I never mention it. You still have, you think you bring it up on a walk-up. Still got the same bed sheet. Yeah, same wallpaper. Which has got teddy bears flying teddy bears on it. All over.

You've got teddy bears. And actually, I think you've got a teddy bear on your pyjamas. On the pajamas. I was big into the bigot. I was quite subtle about it, but I think they got the hint. When do you think you might be ready to not sleep with the teddy bears? I think we need to sort this out Well they came to university with me

And they survived university They came to Canada with me Survived Canada What do you mean survive? They're stuffed toys Well there was bears There's bigger bears there And

And girlfriends never mention it They seem fine They're all the only rule is they're not allowed On the bed when we sleep They go on the floor next to me Okay And then they go back on the bed in the morning I could have you're a picture

If you want They'll still be there No, rather than tell me a picture, just send me your girlfriend's phone number. We've got a lot of questions. I really need to talk to them. Unbelievable. But what's weird is that still the side they go. It's always Tufted on the left and the other, like Anten-Dec, they're always on the same left and right.

So Tufted's always on, was it, tough-thead's on your right? Yes, he's on the left of the two of them. Yeah. And then Ted on the right. That's just how they are. And do they argue about it? Oh, no, they're such good friends. really good friends.

Okay. Do you take them to the Cotswild with all your friends? They don't come to the Cotswolds. Ted used to come swimming with me. So now you can't see his clothes here. I wonder what's like they went at the time. But now he's got just a, he used to have a hat, vest and shorts. But now the shorts have disappeared.

The hats disappear. He just got this holy, holy, not religious, but lots of holes in it. Vest thing that probably, I can't believe it's survived. Is there anything? He hasn't got anything. Oh, isn't he? It's very innocent. No toys have things.

But can you imagine if they did? How's more fun that would be a twer. Two little furry balls. Have you got any cuddly toys from when? God, no. I'm 48. No, I didn't. But I never had.

I've got, my kids have got a whole house is full of, You should come over, Jake. You'd love it. It's full of cuddly bears. Have they got comforters? No. No, they don't. Are these, would you say they're comforters?

What does that mean? Well, they give you comfort. Like, would you get anxious if they disappeared? Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't like to. think about it. I've not thought about it before. If I got home and they suddenly weren't there, I'd be concerned. Concerning an

understanding. Well, I don't know when they've gone. That toy story, they got up and left. Found a new friend. Well, I'm glad that they're still there and you find comfort with your Tess and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, Jake. It seemed to me, for all your other comments have suggested the complete opposite, but thank you for that

at the end. Thank you so much for sharing your pictures. You had to think of a track or a piece of music that takes you back to a certain, you know, either one of these pictures or a time in your life

or that really transports you. Oh, okay. It doesn't have to be your favourite song. It just needs to be a track with that you go, like whenever I hear this song, it just takes me back. It reminds me of being in Orlando or whatever.

Oh, okay. Well, I remember in Orlando, I remember I was really listening to the Meat Left album. Yeah. So that was out of hell being a big one. Okay. And I remember,

Canada when we first went in when I was 11 when we went for Christmas that was when oh what was this there was that leaving on a jet plane and that was a sad one because it was we had to say goodbye to our friends so that was always one we were singing that was really sad about the fact we have to go

also that share song was big at the time was it believe in life after life I believe in life after love yeah no it was that's because they made it that's done in the studio no she does it with a larynx no no it's in the studio Isn't that a cartoon? Yeah, I know that.

But I think what's the, the one that takes me back just to being at home with the family would be the simply read song, I want to fall from the stars. Oh, yes. That song is my mum cleaning the house. She's always cleaning the house. Right. It's very, the house always looks like a shame. Like her friends would turn up and they would think that she had seen them pull up on the drive

and got the Hoover out to make it like she was cleaning. But she was just always just cleaning. Right. And that's the song that's always playing. And that was my first ever concert, went to Wembley. We watched Simply Words. Really? Yeah, that was great.

Was it? Yeah. It's funny the mum, Cleek. He's not called anymore, is he? Was he ever cool? No, he were ever cool. Mick Hucknell? Yeah, but now he's a strange man, isn't it?

I mean, he was literally. I don't know much about him. Never. But yeah, they haven't, like, I don't know what they do. Joel Shaky said. Yeah. I think he was cool. There was a point where he had a pony tail.

A stone. He had a ponytail on a stone in his teeth. Oh, yeah. I just remember that. Yeah. But that, that, that, they were massive,

weren't they simply? No, they were absolutely stadium, performing. Yeah. They were huge. Oh,

gosh. Loads. All the others. God, it's really bad remembering shit. I've got that. Stars.

Is that the thing that's, yeah. The one with stars. The one with stars. This is like an old people's house. This podcast is literally aster.

I don't remember things, isn't it? Just an hour of going, we start so well. What's that song called? It's where he sings about stars. I don't know, mate. I've got no idea. 20 minutes later, I think it stars.

This would have been a much shorter podcast if our memory was shot. Well, that was delightful. As I knew it would be, Jake's memory for all his mate's names really makes me feel embarrassed that I can't, I can just about remember my pet's names.

I can't remember people. people's names some schools. I remember their faces, but then if you were saying, what was their name? I'd be like, it probably was Claire, because everyone was called Claire at school. No, I know. I wish I had his memory faculty, but there we are. We all have different skills. We've all got different skills. I mean, as I said before, I know what I'm good at and I know what I'm not. Yeah, exactly. And if someone could let me know what mine are, I would be very grateful. It's always nice to have that in the back pocket when someone asks you, tell me about your skills, Jen, and you can say, uh, did it, be, but. Well, at the moment, you're a demonstration.

a lot of multitasking because you're going everywhere. You're flying around. You're getting trains. You're going on airplanes. Yes. I'm very good at managing myself. Given how disorganized I am generally and how scatty I am, I think when it comes to travel, I become extremely focused and anal. I've got to get that flight. I've got to get that plane. I've got to get on that bus train coach. And I'm there and I'm there. You know, I'm not one of those people that gets there three hours before, but I will get there just before the flight takes off. And I think. Well, you know, You shouldn't be early because in our family, so you know every family has its own stories. Maybe if we did an episode of me, I would have a picture of my dad. I'll tell you about my dad. But my dad was arrested when he was about 16 for loitering because he was three hours early for a job interview. So it's always been. Right. That is weird, to be fair.

Yeah. I mean, there's early and there's something that's got creepy. Yeah. Yeah. And it gets a bit creepy and you get picked up like for basically he didn't know that he'd wandered into a zone where men Oh, he was in the wrong zone. He was in the wrong zone.

So basically they were like, what are you doing around here? What's the job for? Waiting for a job. Okay. It's kind of good that he didn't get the job, given what it seems like it was at the end. I think he did get the job. But anyway, it's always made me realize

there are downsides to being too early. I hope when he turned up for his first date with your mum that he didn't do the same because maybe she would have been like, wow, this guy is either very keen or a complete creep. Like, so what's the opposite? So tardy means late, doesn't it? Tardy is the word of late.

So is there a word for early? There should be. Tempano. That's Spanish for early. Oh, is it? Okay, let's just wrong with that. Let's sort of say that that's the word for too early. If you're temporano, you're, that's weird.

Don't be too temporary. And that's a bardi, because it's creepy. Yeah, yeah. So I am really cool, but, you know, a bit of a dick, but coolish. It depends. I don't like people to be just always late. That winds me up. Oh, it's awful.

That shows that. As my dad says, if you can be consistent, you can be consistently on time. Yeah. Do you know, I'm so glad we're only in the podcast with this because sometimes people are like,

why do they have a bit at the end when the interview is the end? But I say no. This is the wisdom. This is the bit of the end where we've all learned something. It's like philosophical. It's like gurus.

We like gurus. Oh. Maybe we should get our own website. You know, like Gwyneth's got Goop. Maybe ours should be called poop. Maybe we should get our own podcast. What would we call it? Kerry, what would we call a podcast if we had a podcast?

We should do a podcast? Uh-oh. Do you know what? That's the menopause, that is. Flipping it. So if you, in the old days we were called a YouTuber, now what are you? If you're a poster. Content creator?

Content creator. Yeah. Social. media star. Yep. Okay, that's your intro sorted. Oh, God. You dick.

Social media sensation. Jake Lambert. Lurdy. Nice to be seen. Just if he's already recording that bit and you just

reput it yourself and after we go Jake, how shall we refer to you? It's all been recording. Yeah, yeah. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Daradhaerty. And we'd like to invite you to

listen to our new podcast, what did you do yesterday? It's a show that asks guests, the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress?

Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger?

What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday?

Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.