Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E05: Paul McCaffrey

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

"If I was just at a different school things would be playing out differently" Paul takes Kerry and Jen on a tour of his amazing life! Photo 01 - Nearly getting a motorbike Photo 02 - Two very different family holidays Photo 03 - Graduating from drama school Photo 04 - Glasto!!! with his daughter PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get full-sized favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly

on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. I like the way your face has got very close to the screen. I'm not doing, I feel that when we start these, I'm always quite aggressive and go, how are you, Jen? Start talking. So I'm just receiving now. Oh, you're receiving. But I like the way when you're receiving, you lean forward to to receive.

Yeah, I'm pumping me, but I'm visually prompting you to ask me an open question. I know, what you've done there is that you've leant forward, your face is really close to the screen and your ear is towards me as if you're waiting. Without your ear, you wouldn't hear me, which we both know. This is not true. to ask me how I am, Jane? Okay, all right, okay, now that I've been prompted, I do sometimes forget to ask you how you are.

I thank you for bringing that up in such a public forum. Kerry, I'm really concerned about you. I love you as my friend and I would love to know how you are. How are you? Well, I'm fine. Okay, well, that was worth waiting for. I am going to a festival this coming weekend. We've talked about festivals before and I've got to get all my camping gear in order.

Okay, that is quite a lot. And I find that pre-camping, I'm quite a stressed person. Just I'm a bit distracted by, you know, what I need, what bags are in, what camping chairs are working, which ones are broken. Do I need to go to decathlon? Right, decathlon. And get anything. Is that what you call it, decathlon? What do you call it?

Decafalon. No, I don't call it decafalon. Because I can just call it decafalon. Decafalon. Yeah, there you get. Decafathlon. Decafalon. Decafathlon.

Oh my God. How do you say theatre? How do I say theatre? Theatre. Theater. Theatre. Theatre. Theatre.

Theatre. Theatre? Yes. I don't say theatre. I can't even, I don't, people have always said I say it wrong and I'm like, I don't even know what you're saying. Theatre. Yeah, theatre, yeah. Theatre.

Okay. Theatre, yeah. That's different. Also, are there things you say wrong? Are the things that I say that are wrong? Oh, surely, no doubt. I don't. Can we just in the spirit of equilibrium cover some of that?

I can't think you'd have to tell me. You'd have to say why you? Oh, but someone would have told you over the years. Okay, so something I said where I was humiliated in front of Chloe's cousins. Brilliant. I'm already over the moon with this story. Okay. So there is a brand.

I think it's a skate brand and it's spelled S-T-U-S-S-Y. Yes, I know of it. How would you say it? Stussy. Okay, so I haven't called it Stussy ever. I've called it Stoosey. Okay. I said, oh, is that a Stozy T-shirt?

They went, what? I went, is that a Stozy? Was you trying to be cool? I mean, I'm too late for that, but I mean, if I was, this was the worst opener to, to demonstrate how not cool I am. I said, I said, is that a Stozy T-shirt? They said, what are you talking about? I went, they said, are you referring to Stussy?

I went, oh, yeah, whatever, Stussy, Sto-stis. She went, they went, what did you call it? I went, no, what did you call it? I went, eh, stu-stit, stussy. And they went, Stozy? Stozy, Stussy, you know. What, do you be calling it? Stozy?

I'm older than you and could I have a little bit of respect? How did that go? Did it command the respect you require? No, I think somebody got me in a headlock. I was so... You've been hanging out down the skate park. I'm saying to all the kids. Love your stucy top, guys.

Giza! Loving your stucy top. Loving you... Oh, that's really unfortunate. I mean, mine's a camping brand so I can get away with it, but yours, that's a skate brand. That's like cool stuff. Yeah, no, there's no... There was no way to hide from that.

I could have taken that to the grave. I've decided to share that. In the spirit of equilibrium, Kerry, and trying to create a balance in our relationship. You've shared. You've shared a weakness. A weakness for a weakness. A weakness for a weakness. What did you say?

Decathalon. Decathalon. Decathalon. Decathalon. Do you know what? There's going to be people listening to this. Go, that's right. Decafalon.

Decathalon. Yeah. I mean, not many people. Do you go to Decafalon? I do go to Decafalon. Isn't it lovely? Isn't it lovely? I was actually there today.

I was in there today. Were you? Yes. What did you get? Actually, I didn't get anything. I didn't buy anything. But I do like to go in that. How did you restrain yourself?

Because I've got everything. Were you in the hunting men department? That's where I found myself the other week. In the hunting men department? No, I was in the women's golf department. Just picking out some fashion items, Kerry, just to go to the next lesbian disco. Well, I highly recommend you go into the hunting men

or hunters men hunting. Anyway, it's the angling bit. Oh, is that all it is? It's not like... Pretty much. It's not like wrestling, bears or... No, it's mostly angling. It's them hunting.

fish with hooks on holes. Is fishing hunting? Apparently it is according to the catalogue. Anyway, you can get some lovely umbrellas and chairs. Which is obviously when you're hunting, that's one of the main things you need is a little chair to sit down. To rest. Oh, something to put my feet up on.

They've got a bed. They had a bed for the hunting men. I really feel like I need to get into hunting. Yeah, 100%. If there's beds and chairs. People are just sleeping by canals. It's the bags of maggots and the buckets of maggots. See, I quite like all that, because my dad

all that when I was a kid so I used to go fishing with him and I liked all the maggots. I used to like going to the fishing shop and looking at all the worms and maggots in the boxes. Oh yeah? Yeah but not to touch them and pit them up. No, I didn't really like it involved with them. Yeah, like you wouldn't run your hands through them.

But I do like that world of paraphernalia like all, my dad made this box which is right up my street, this sort of thing. He had this box that he'd made with all the drawers for all his lures and hooks and a cushion on front, on the top rather. And it was like just this little, and it had a handle.

He detached a handle. I love all that shit. Wait, what? A handle? Yeah, it had a handle and drawers and a cushion and it was like his fishing box. But that's something very comforting when you're a child to see everything, all the compartments and everything put away in different places and then you can open it up and you can like...

I love that. But as an adult, yeah, I'm like, I've tapped out of all that. But when don't your boys have all their Lego in like those little miniature drawer things? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love all that. Yeah. all that. Compartments, I mean, I'm more into the collecting of knick-knacks, like sewing.

I don't really sewing, but I quite like the idea of all the little drawers and the needles and the thimbles and the thimbles and the needles and all the different coloured threads. Little threads. And your little haberdasherie box, we talked about my haberdasherie box in the very first episode. Which we established wasn't yours. Okay, so not my haberdasherie box, but we did talk about the existence of a haberdasherie. I mean, Chloe loves all of that. She likes little things and putting things in things and boxes and boxes.

And I just like to live in complete chaos. Yeah. I like to, if I know where anything is, it's an absolute miracle. Did you read The Borrowers when you were a kid? No, I didn't. Is that about those little people? Little people. Ask Chloe if she did.

I think I wonder sometimes if that's why I like little things because of the borrowers. Doll's houses. I love dolls houses. Do you like going to... I found one in the street once, like an old, like, retro one and bought it home and the kids were like what is that it's disgusting it's disgusting it's like a dead doll died I was like oh children let's make curtains for it let's make wallpaper they were like it's gross can we have a can we have a Nintendo switch

Do you know what? Before your kids arrived, did you have this like kind of stories like that make me feel really good? You have an idea in your head you go, when my children arrive, we will bake gingerbread cookies and we will make, I literally, yesterday, yesterday I was with one of my children and Chloe was with the other and I spent the whole time with my son and all he wanted to do was throw a bottle upside down.

throw a bottle until it landed. You know, it's got half full of water. That's quite a game, actually. Keep throwing the bottle until it lands. Yeah? Okay. So anyway, we're playing this game. We're like, we've turned it into a competition.

We've got rounds. I won like round 12. I've like literally questioning all of my life choices. And it's like, Mama, you're doing really well. I was like, I want to kill myself. Okay. And in my head, Chloe's up. So Chloe's got the other one, they're upstairs.

And she's got a little, she's made a little art studio up there. They're going to be painting and all of that. Anyway, she came down. I was like, I'm so jealous of you up there painting. Well, I've been down here, a bottle, a bottle, half of water in the air for 45 minutes. I said, honestly, it's just been a nightmare. She was like, oh, no, I had to talk him off a ledge

because he painted a painting. It wasn't perfect. He ripped it to shreds. He did another painting. It wasn't perfect. He had a meltdown. He hid under the bed for 25 minutes. I had to drag him out from under the bed.

And I was like, oh, do you know what? I'd much rather flip a bottle for 45 minutes. The bottle sounds better. Shall I give you a bit of advice? I'm a bit further down the road. Yeah. VR. Do you know what?

If my kids could have something like that touch their faces, if there is any kind of a screen, they will literally put their heads in front of it. It doesn't matter what it is. It could be like literally just a, it could be an inanimate picture that doesn't move. They will stare at it of an obergene. They're like, yes, darling, that's a motocon of an obechine.

Mama, can I look at it? The emoticon of the Obechene for 40 minutes. Sure. Or you could do something with your life. But anyway. Like chuck a bottle. Let's talk about our next, our guest for this week.

So our guest this week is the brilliant, hilarious Paul McCaffrey. He's had a roller coaster ride. He's had his ups and he's had his downs and he's come through and he's, I think he's quite, he'll hate me for saying this, but I actually thought it's really inspirational chat

that we had with Paul. Sincere. I just sound sarky. Here he is. Here he fucking is. All right, what are you doing? Stand up, comedian. Call you some sort of comedian. Okay. I'm braced for a sarcastic intro. It's not sarky, this is just my voice. Okay.

So we have stand-up comedian. Yeah. Actor? Lusely, yeah. Writer. Writer. If needed. Father.

Father. Partner. Partner. Podcaster. Podcaster. Yes. So many hats. I didn't realize this.

The wonderful Paul McCaffrey. Yeah. Oh, Paul. Well, we all have to be known. I know, we do. So many layers to you. Aren't there just? We're all my nascent people now.

We are. Paul, I haven't seen you for ages. What we've been doing? What have I been doing? Podcasting? Podcasting. Tell us about your podcast. It's with Sean.

Yeah, with Sean Wool. She'll do a podcast called What's Upset You Now? Very on Brank. Very on brand, yeah. And it's done very well. It's done all right, yeah. Yeah, it's done really well. Yeah.

Nice to see you and Sean Bond in over something you hate though, isn't it? I know. That's what we ever bond over, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how anyone bonded was on. That's what comedy's made. Yeah, exactly. There's people being livid about something. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Well, last time we saw you was at Glastonbury. Was it at Glastonbury? There is a photo. We'll come to that. Yeah, we'll come to that. We'll save that. Keep our powder dry on. Yeah, exactly.

No pun intended. Sorry. So you are, we're the same name. So I'm over the moon that you have bought your photographs. I have gone analogue for this. We've just been having a conversation before we started about the kind of new digital world in which we all live. And then I've turned up with an envelope with photographs in it. Let's talk about the first picture here.

I sent over a few to the thing. But the first one here is just me on a motorbike. That doesn't look. How old are you in that picture? I reckon. And why are you on a motorbike at that age? Well, there is a story here. So this is at my uncle John's farm in Wales.

My uncle John was, I don't know, gangster is probably a little bit strong, but he had his finger a lot of pipe. A wide boy, definitely. Own race horses, buildings. Everyone knew him. And it was always very exciting. This is where we used to go on our family holidays when I was a kid. We used to park up our caravan in the grounds of his farm.

And so it was very cool and used to be very excited to go down there and spend holidays with him. Now this motorbike is a fan-tick 80. Do you remember Kickstart program? Yeah, I loved it. So that was on in the thing. This is the like bikes that they used to ride. What was the theme tune for that?

Remember? Now I've got the red hand gang. I don't know why that stuck in my memory. And you were a fan of this program? I was a fan of this program. Right. And it was cool at the time. Now my uncle used to get my cousin, Lee, one of these bikes every year.

Bloody hell. And we went on holiday in our caravan. and this is his old bike and my uncle John said you can have that if you want and you're little how old are you? I don't know

I reckon I was to be No I wasn't five there I reckon I looked I mean I looked 12 when I was 18 So you look really cool I'm young but thank you It looks like a photo shoot Do you know what it's aged well

The photo hasn't it? It's sort of got that sepia tone I put that filter on all my pictures I know this is now This is what you would put it on Instagram and spend ages trying to make it look like that. So this is the 70s?

Late 70s? No, this would have been the 80s. Right. So I was born in 74. I reckon I'm probably like 9 or 10 now. There's no way you're 10 in this picture, Paul. You don't look 10. I'm sorry.

You're 7 or 8. You can't be 10. You're tiny. I was tiny though. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I was tiny. You shouldn't be on that motorbike. Something bad happened to a tiny child on his own motorbike. I'm really worried there was a horrible accident.

you're going to tell us about. No, no, no, no, no, no. All that happened here is, so my uncle said that this is a moment. Did you ever have that thing, I don't know what your experience of school was like, but you were like, if I was just at a different school, this would all be playing out differently. Do you know what I mean? Like, I would be, if I was at another school, I would be the king of this place.

It's the school. I'm not getting, people are not getting me here. You know? And I feel like this photo, because, so my uncle, was like, you can have that. But what were you going to do with it? Well, probably kill myself. Which is mine, my mum was like,

there is no way he is having this motorbike. Of course not. So I'm like, if I'd have gone back home. With that? With this, the frantic 80, this is, my life would have, I wouldn't be sat here doing this podcast now,

I'm sorry. You'd be in Hollywood. I would have been, you know, I don't know where I'd have been. Probably six feet under is the true. But do you know, I'm like, so I'm just... That's your true self.

So this is, this is like a sliding doors moment where we put this motorbike. I'm like, we could put it in the caravan. We can get this home. I can get to school every day. But there's something about the 80s where I remember we drove to Somerset to see, I don't know, one of my dad's distant family and I can't even remember. And on the way back, we passed by a place where you could rent out little mini motorbikes for kids. And you'd pay like, I don't know, 50p.

and then you'd get to buzz around on the motorbikes and then that was it your time was up and I remember because we were with my dad and I don't think we were with my mum my dad went do you kids want to have a go on these motorbikes do what you like

we couldn't have been more than like I don't know eight or nine like we were like young and maybe my brother my oldest brother was like 10 or something so it's like 10 going down to five and my dad was like yeah you kids go out on this motorbike

and I was like this is the best day of my life we're getting to sit on a motorbike. Yeah. I went on this motorbike wasn't dissimilar to this. And I loved it. But I did not want to pull the brakes. So when I went round, I just went round.

And in the end, I got... So dangerous. So dangerous. One is so dangerous. But in the end, the bloke who was running it went, she's got to get off that because somebody's going to die. If she doesn't kill herself, she's going to kill someone else. So I got taken off early, what, and then I had to watch my brothers go round. But it was literally...

The most fun you could ever give a kid. You're never going to get off that bike once you've got it. So you just rode it round this Welsh farm? I didn't even ride it. I wasn't big enough. No, no, I wasn't big enough to ride that. He was like, take it and, you know, I'll grow into it. I was just like, oh, you know.

I mean, actually, then when I was 15, a kid who lived in the area that we lived in, there was a field at the back, and he did have a motorbike, which I did go on and came off. And I cut my back on a barbed wire fence. And I've still got three marks on the back there. When I sunday, they don't, they stay white. Right, right.

So it's probably a good thing That wasn't allowed to take it But you know like in your head You can go my God I'm going to be the king of the school If I go home with it I mean we're not going to ride it around the playground Where are you going to ride it?

Yeah Down the church See now you've just turned into my mum You're getting bogged down with logistics I'm with your mum They are fucking lethal They are lethal I am now obviously

But at the time I'm love I mean there's part of me They'd be like I'd love to have a motorbike And I would love to have a Or even just a moped But I know

I just love speed that I would kill myself. I would be dead or a paraplegic or whatever. Friends of my. People really like speed. People call me driving Miss Daisy. I am 70 miles an hour. I've been doing comedy for however long.

I've done thousands and thousands of miles. I have not one speeding ticket. Really? Never. Wow. Wow, Paul, that is really impressive. It's because your wings were clipped when you were this age and you weren't allowed to have that you're true.

Actually, I'm starting to realise that this. You need to thank your mum for that. But you could have got a modelling contract because... Do you think so? Yeah, you're very good looking kids. Thank you. You were so cute. I know.

What happened? Booze. That's what happened. That's what happens. That's what happens when your dreams are stunted. And you're not allowed to ride your motorbike into the mountains. So what happens to the bike? It just sat and rotted in a garage.

The bike just stayed in a barn in Crickow and rotted and he lost his, yeah. Contracts. No, he lost his license. the race horses over here and then move to Ireland. Oh, okay. You don't need a license. There was a, yes. No, they are a bit more lenient over there with it.

Oh, are they? There was a bit of underhand business that went on and he had to, yeah, so there we go. I mean, parenting in the 70s and 80s, I mean, the amount of, a lot of comedians have got routines out of rattling around the back of a courtina while their dad's chain smokes up the front without a seatbelt on and all la-la-la-la-la-la-la. But it's so true. Yes. There is, like, now, as parents, you are, you know, really neurotic about your child's safety.

Well, I think my mum was ahead of the curve of that. Oh, really was she at me. My mum, yeah, she was a proper germify, which I definitely picked up. My mum just thinks we're so picky. She's like, what is it with you? You know, we dragged you around and we took you to things and we didn't give a shit. It's true. But your mum didn't.

Yeah, also, there was that whole thing about being bored. It was like, yeah, be bored. Are you bored? Okay, fine. Go and be bored somewhere else because I'm busy. It's like, might don't remember my mum going, okay, let me give you all of my time. My dad would stamp on my foot and go, that'll take your mind off it. Which is pretty old school.

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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. So I started going to festivals when I was 14. Did you? Yeah, yeah. Because I've got a 16-year-old daughter and I'm sort of like,

oh, she, you know, going back to this parenting thing. You're like, oh, we're not ready. And then you go, hang on, I was doing all that when I was doing. Were you going to festivals at 14? No, that is, I think I was 17. And I did Reading Festival with Matt Richardson. What? Like, did comedy there.

and I was having a chat to him and he goes, my parents hadn't met in 1988. Oh, man, I am. I am old. Did you go to those sort of things with older kids when you were 40? Not older, no, like the year above maybe, but like, yeah, I mean, reading from Winchester is a train journey. My mum sent me with a pack lunch and then sort of...

Oh, bless. I got there and took acid. Oh, did you? Is there a picture of capturing some of this or are it? Because I don't want to stop these stories, but I don't know. So that's me at 16. Do you know what? I kind of was going to choose that one.

and then I think I was really unhappy there actually. Which one? This one? This one there. So that is the family holiday and this is in the same place. And it's sort of like, that was the thing looking back over pictures. You go like, God, I was actually, that would have been the last year of school, which had a sort of bit of a troubled last year of school. Do you want to tell us about that?

I mean, you know, I just didn't really enjoy it. Kind of, I suppose at that time, I didn't really, my friends were at other schools. I kind of had started smoking a lot of weed, bunking off. And you already go into festivals and gigs. Yeah, but like actually, I think really, looking back on it, sorry to get all heavier, but I kind of look back on it and go,

I was actually really unhappy at that time because then I look at the same holiday a couple of years later and I go, oh, I was actually happy. You found yourself. I'd found sort of like my mates and sort of, I don't know. It's a funny age 16. It was yeah.

And I look at, you know, I'd just, that holiday there, for example, where are you? Where are you? Drug chatty. But like I said, we went to, we used to drive, we used to tow my caravan down to,

our caravan down to the south of France. and stay on the same campsite every year where we sort of got to know. It was just outside can actually. Blind me, that is a long drive. It is. Yeah, it is a long drive. You're right to the bottom of France.

Yeah, we'd stop off on the way down. We'd sort of do a night in like... Even so. Yeah. And you had mates down there, you'd sort of reunite. But no, I'm talking about like in my life at that time, sort of I'd... Yeah, family friends. No, no, sorry, I'm talking about in this picture.

But yes, we did make mates on the campsite, but I'm sort of about like, I was sort of happier in that picture because, like, Is that your mum in this one? Yeah, that's my mum in that one, yeah, and both of them. Right, right. Same mum. Kept the same mum for us. I mean, I'm only looking at one picture.

Still for that mum out yet. Yeah, no, we, soon after that, I was with a new mum. That's what made you unhappy. You needed a new mum. Okay, so right, in this picture, it's that I'm trying to get the... Yeah, so that, there I guess I'm 15, 60, I'm either 15 or 16. You don't look happy, Paul, let's be honest. You look really pissed off.

Yeah. By the time we get here... Yeah, so that's two years later. Same holiday, same place. So I just feel like I'm not talking about at that holiday. I'm talking about in my life. I feel like I was in a happier place. So what was happening?

But it's just weird because it's only looking back for these photos for the purpose of this podcast. You go like, oh God, I was actually... Do you know what I mean? That's why I love about photos, because they just give you a portal. You've got all that retrospective understanding of who you became and what your life... Yeah. But the person in that picture doesn't have that understanding. No, exactly.

What was happening when you were 15? Why were you so unhappy at that point in life? I was in trouble at school. I was naughty, but then you sort of like go, what came first, the naughtiness or the prop, do you know what I mean? And actually, you know, I can remember like my parents got a, or the school and my parents got a child psychologist

to come around and see me and I wouldn't speak to him. I'm not fucking speaking, you know. I was quite angry and had also started smoking weed all the time when I was young, like 50s. 15, 14, 15, you know what I mean? Because I was just like, I'm not spread to this guy. So how did your mum cope with it? I don't know.

I've never really sort of had that conversation because it must have been stressful. It must have been really difficult, actually. Yeah, yeah. And I got suspended from school loads and eventually was just not allowed to go in. And this is at the end of it, at the end of school life. This is at the end of GCSE. So I was allowed back to do my GCSE. He's got five E's and a U.

When I went in to get my results, the night before I'd been up taking acid, like, and was sat. So you were sabotaging your head off? It was just, you know, it was just a not good, you know. It sounds like you just, you like completely decided that you were going to like smash it out, smash everything up. Yeah. And then did you, so once you. I mean, it's probably all stuff to be honest that I need to revisit at some time to figure it all out. That's what I mean.

That's what we're here for. That's what we're here for. Yes, I'm not sure. No one has therapy now. I'm not entirely sure that a podcast is the place that's going to fix all of this. But do you know what I mean? It's kind of like, I think time and hindsight is given me a bit more of a sort of where I'm able to look back and go like, oh, there was stuff going on here where I was just thought,

oh, I just thought I was a bit of a rebel. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And like, oh, I thought I was a bit of a punk or whatever it was. And then, you know, actually, yeah. Yeah. Literally really sad.

Yeah, no, but it's interesting because living with a teenager now is sometimes their behavior can be like a bit shitty and underneath it, you can see there's loads of vulnerability. Yes. It's vulnerability. And it's just like pushing people away because you haven't got the language or the sophistication to express it. And making yourself vulnerable. It's hard.

Really hard. Particularly at that, I mean, I don't find it easy now, but at that age, it was, I'd say, probably impossible. So there we are. So what sort of jobs did you get when you left school in the end? So a lot of, like, agency work, you know, we would sort of just turn up in the morning and they'd send you off. So I worked in, like, the mushroom farm.

Right. The bulb farm, which was, I mean, I can't believe this was allowed. And they fucking sacked me. How bad must I have been? I can't believe you got sacked from a mushroom farm. What were you doing? This is the bulb farm. So you'd sit there basically on a conveyor belt.

And so bulbs, as it's. for flat for growing flowers would come through and then you'd have to sort of pick the stones out and that was it an eight hour shift sat looking at a conveyor belt and you'd pick the stones out of the temperature How did you get sacked then? Lateness.

Did you have to do that thing where you clocked in with like a... Yeah, all of that, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did that one, because I worked in a... I did exactly the same thing so you turn up at the agency and they go, right, you can go... Send you off in a minibus.

And then I got sent to this plastics factory and they were like, right now you're working in a plastics factory, six weeks. And I was like, oh my God. six weeks in a plastics factory, and I remember the, dozing in, it was £3.50 an hour. I mean, I don't know what. That's good. I can remember mine being like £1.5.50 something.

I'd have killed for £3.50 an hour? $3.50 an hour? What? I know, £3.50 an hour. God, it was like... I might still consider that now. It's unbelievable money. She'd made like £20 a day. It was insane. When you were doing all these jobs

and you'd sort of like bullsed up summer school or whatever Did you kind of go Oh fuck and I'm... Or did where you were like Oh this is it now I'm just going to stick with this Did you have a plan or no no future No plan

You know I was kind of like When I left school I thought I was going to go and live in a bus That was the thing That was the dream That was the dream And my dad at one point was like Here's the money to go Like they were at their wits end sort of thing

Yeah right Which yeah so then just did a load of jobs and then I mean we're sort of bypassing this photo but like Go on no no let's talk to us about I mean this is just

I like this picture because this is just this is the family holiday we've kind of already touched on it but this is where we used to go in our caravan so we've kind of spoken about it already but this is that was where I used to stay

that's my tent there with my towel on top barely erected and I used to crawl back into that every night after a load of cheap French you know the little bottles of lacquer um still love those And the caravan just behind there.

And who went with you on the holiday? So my mum and my dad and my two sisters. The next year I went on my first lad's holiday where we flew from Bristol to Tenerife. Wow. And that was it. The fact you drew a line in the sand, family holidays. I was gutted to have graduated, to be honest.

Yeah, I was going to say, because I want to go on the day with your mum and dad. Did your parents go? Well, that's it. You're not coming with us anymore. Not really, no. I think it was like the last holiday was organised. And we flew out when it was that classic.

I mean, it was literally like the in between us. We flew out of Bristol at like 4 o'clock in the morning. And then, because that was, there was four lads who were on the road behind us on the way out and on the way back. And on the way back, none of them had eyebrows. Because at various points of the week, they'd all had them shaved off by like, oh my God. Oh my God. There was something about going on holiday in the 90s to places like, I don't know, like Mayorker or Tenorri or any of those places that it was just, I don't know if it still is because I haven't been on a holiday like that in decades. No.

It was carnage. Absolutely. It was absolute. I never did any of that. Carnage. Like you would just see people Like with our eyebrows Or just at midday

Throwing up in a bin It's like God no wonder No wonder everyone hated us Yes Yeah I know Yeah yeah Brits abroad is not a good vibe It's a terrible vibe

I mean I don't think we were quite That bad Like but you know We went and got You got tanked out Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah You know to go and get drunk And no photo

No photos of that No one's taking pictures of that No one's taking pictures of that Well, this is the thing. So the photos of the family holiday. I don't have, I've got maybe two photos of me at Glastonbury's. I went to every single one in the 90s. And I think there are two photos of me, one in 95 and one in like 90s.

Yeah, 97. I don't have a single photograph of me at any of the festivals I went to in the 90s, not one. And I went to about, I must have gone to at least eight or nine. I'm not single photograph. It's sad, isn't it? To look back to Nebworth, for example. You know, I was at Nebworth, 1996, or the first time? Was it 95 or 96?

Anyway, whenever it was. And when the document... Who played Nibworth that year? Are you joking? Oasis. That was their kind of defining sort of moment. And then they put the documentary... Sorry, I know, yeah.

Oh my God. You fucking what. Fucking hell. I knew it was Oasis and I thought, I'm just... We're on a podcast. I thought I'd ask a question. You're right. You're right.

I'd be good to furnish the listener with all of the information. Just pretend that like sometimes I'm asking a question to get an answer to feed into the fucking conversation. I thought you were saying it in a way of no one stopped banging on about it. since you're like, who was it that play there again

in the way that people might go, do the Beatles come from Liverpool? Not everybody knows about 1996 Paul. Okay, apologies. That was unnecessarily confrontational. Don't worry. It was more Kerry. Sorry. It was more Kerry than you. Puddle disgust. What?

Are you fucking joking? And so. You've got no pictures of it. I know and I went with three mates from home and I just text them the day that the documentary coming out saying, oh, did you get a photo? Because it was like three girls. I thought that's more likely

if they may have taking some pictures and then they're like, no. I was like, I kind of like, I was like, they're not very little memory prompt. Yeah. I like to think,

particularly seeing as we all grew up in the great time. Yeah, every generation thinks of that. But I know, but like, I mean, I turned 16 in 1990. I feel like that was, that's a good time to turn 19. You know,

end of acid house, Brit Pop, you know, I'm like, I'll, take that. Yeah. Yeah, it was a good decade. Moved to London in 1995.

A mess. Yeah, I was going to say, it might have been more blokey. Yeah. It was a decade where men really had a great time and women were like, yeah, I love it. Is this what feminism is? Yeah, you can touch my tits. I just feel like there was a lot going on in the 90s. No, problematic, but I'm talking about culturally.

Yeah, the music was good. It's a good soundtrack. Yeah, it was a good soundtrack to a problematic decade. Tim's new Cravable Raps are made for the times your boss said the what now? Or your teacher mentions that thingamab. Need to pick me up. Snack back to reality with Tim's new cravable raps available in Chipotle or Ranch. Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time.

So, let's look at this photo. This is me on the graduation day of drama school. Oh, you went to drama school? So I went and did a post-grad when I was 27 at East 15 Drama School. and that. So, sorry, when you talk about jobs, I then worked in bars and stuff, and I went, and just because I was like,

people started finishing their A-levels and going to university, and I was just like, oh, what, you know. Paul, did you say you were 27? Yeah. You look like you're 15. This is what I'm trying to tell you. So when you say in that photo, you're like six,

I'm like, I could have been 13. Paul, there is no way on God's Green Earth. You're 27. I know, you've got such a baby face? You know what? People used to say this to me all the time. He's going, God, you're never, you're never. And now I go, I'm, I'm,

48 and go, yeah. I'm going to get somewhere in that area. Catch up with you. What is it? They say you get the face you deserve at 40. And I feel like, I was like, I can't believe I'm getting, you know, all this time. I can't believe all this caning I'm getting away with. And then all of a sudden it was like, you look so cute in that.

Thank you. So what makes you done? Right. So I kind of, I went, I worked in bars and then just been, just being. Because everyone was going off and doing stuff, and I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I went and started a hospitality and catering H&D in London, basically. You need a new backdrop to get shipped. Yeah, so, and I've kind of been going up to London to clubs and stuff, and I was really into sort of, you know, music.

And so I moved to London and I didn't complete the course. And I started working in a bar called the Islington Bar on Caledonian Road while I was studying. And I got on really well with the people there. and then they said, oh, do you want, they started, it was three male models. Do you remember the Athena poster? Yeah, so one of them was that guy. The bloke holding the baby?

What? Yeah. No, not the baby, the guy, the body. Yes, no, I meant, no, hang on. I meant the bloke holding the tyre, no, the bloke holding the baby. Yeah, yeah. And then another guy called Jason Clark who was like the first male. So it was these three models and then they kind of basically started opening these bars.

That was their business. Right. So my weekends at that time, I mean, I just don't know how I did it, but I was young. I was being 24, 25 at this time when fabric opened, well, yeah, early to mid-20s. And so, like, we'd do the week. If I ran the weekend, I'd work Friday and Saturday night and Sunday. So I'd start the shift on like Friday sort of late afternoon and we'd go through the bar shut at two. And then we'd clean up till three.

Then we'd all jump into a cab and go down to fabric where we'd stay till six. And then we'd go back to the bar, sitting there drinking, doing whatever. open the bar at midday on Saturday and then go all the way through again until two in the morning, finish at three, get a taxi back down to fabric where we'd stay again and then come back on Sunday and go through

and I would do that like most weekends. How many class days are you on? Yeah, too many. So you'd sleep Monday to Friday? Sleep Monday to Friday? Well, it was just easier then. You know, you'd get in and vodka and red bull was that was the drink at the time

so you'd be just all day drinking vodka and redball which would get you through and kind of... And you must have had a lot of fun. Amazing. I was at the opening night where all the Arsenal team were there Like it was, you know Just good times Amazing, amazing time

And then I met a girl working at the bar from San Francisco And left there Moved over to San Francisco with her Sort of for six months And then that ended quite sort of dramatically and quickly So that was a romantic Yes, left my job, left my flat I was living in a really cool flat in Hagerston

With old friends One of whom was working at Dayside and Confuse magazine. I used to get to go to their parties. I went to their Christmas party, which was sponsored by Nokia. Radiohead was the entertainment. Bloody hell.

It was like fucking Bjork was there. This is a long way from the Baldwin mushroom fashion. Yeah. Yeah. This is like I've made it. Yes. Anyway, I then went to America. That ended badly.

So what was you doing in States? Did you work out there? No, I'd saved up money. I knew I was kind of going. So I sort of saved up money to go out there. And I was planning to sort of just, I was planning to move there. That was the plan.

With her, to be with her. To be with her. She lived in a cool place. It was great. You know, it was all good, but it just didn't work out. Came back. And I had then, I had no plan. So I moved back to my parents' house in Winchester,

into my old bedroom with like the 80s kind of wallpaper, single bed. I'd been up in London living this fun life and moved back and got a job in the store cupboard at next. Oh my God. This is bleak. This is bleak. So, and then this is so, like, and my drinking has always been problematic, but like it really took off at this time.

Like, I was just not happy with where I was. The breakup, the job, you know, kind of. Back at your mum and dad's house. How old are you at this point? So I would have been 25, 26. Right. Shit. 25, 26. Awful.

Just like, oh, man, this is horrible. I was sort of going up to London at the weekends, but I mean, obviously then coming back, just caning it, like coming back having to get through this week at work at this job. I hated and my parents out. It was grim. So I then remembered that I had quite enjoyed drama at school And so I thought, do you know, look, just honestly, just to keep me out of the pub at this point, I'm like, I'm going to join the local amateur dramatic society. It's quite interesting, Paul, that you have these moments where you make some really good positive decisions in a sea of carnage.

Yes, oh definitely, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I haven't had a drink for like two and a half years at this point. So anyway, so I kind of went and did two productions with my local amateur dramatic society. I did Bouncers, which is, you know, the... John Godber. And Bartholomew Fair, I don't know who that was by, but it's like a period thing. Anyway... That's an age as well as bounces.

No, that hasn't aged as well as bouncers. And I loved it. Really enjoyed it. And I was like, do you know what? Maybe I'm going to go... This is... Yeah, like try and train as an actor. Now, I was 27 and obviously the BA is three years.

So I applied for a post-graderad because I was like, oh, I can't afford three years at this stage. retrospect, like in hindsight, I wish I'd done three years because I absolutely loved it. Right. And it was the first thing in my life that I actually completed. Like I did it.

It just felt right. You know, I got the diploma at the end that had never happened to me in any sort of educational form. Yeah, so this is, you know, the picture here, it's just a happy, I look happy and kind of their sort of, you know,

it's just... Like that when was the link between acting? Oh, hang on, stand up. I don't know. Like that sort of thing, you hear a lot of people say, I didn't occur to me that you could do this as a job.

Did you go and see stand up up when you were great, like, what was your relationship? I went to maybe jonglers a couple of times when I was like, you liked it.

Yeah, I liked it, but I mean, not like, and then I watched the Peter K DVDs and kind of, but there was no bit of you that was like,

I want to do that. I didn't know that, I don't know, I just thought like, you know, when you listen to music, I didn't think, I didn't think,

I didn't know where those people came from. Ryle. I just thought, Do you understand what I mean? I know how they got to be where they are. You could do an open spot and then you could do a competition. So when did that penny draw? When I did the course.

I was introduced to the back pages of time out and the phone numbers. And you got straight on it? Got straight in. Did the course. Did the first, did the showcase. It went well, you know. Yeah. And I was kind of like...

We've already talked about the fact that you peaked very early. I started there and it's been a slow decline. And then, yeah, kind of did a couple of competitions, won a couple of competitions and that was sort of that just was working in a call centre I was working in a call centre and trying to be an actor

and then it switched over and as soon as I did stand-up I was like this is what I want to do what I want to see is the film of your life because some of these stories the bit of you coming back from America and ending up back in the box room at your mum and dad's is I want to see it cinematically

it's just fucking hilarious oh my God it was such a hot I mean it was winter as well Well, do you know, it was like... Oh my God, you left California. I left California. It went London in the... You know, this was London.

90s London. Great. Francisco. Box room Winchester. Like, it was literally like someone just turned the colour of my life off. It went, whoa. Great. Yeah, but these are the things that, you know,

and I know comedians always say this, but these are the things that kind of help you, that steer you into stand-up. Yeah. Because I don't think there's anyone doing stand-up that's gone, I've actually had a... I've lived a charmed life. No, well, without that, I wouldn't have done the

amateur dramatics. Without amateur gymnastics, I wouldn't have gone to drama school. Without drama school, it wouldn't have occurred to me to do stand-up. There was a sequence of events. Well, it was funny, I did a podcast recent, because as I was say, therapy, we have, we had podcasts? And someone said, have I got any regrets? And I was like, I do but I wouldn't be me if I

could change any... I mean, like, there's loads of fuck-ups, you know, but they are kind of what makes us who we are. And... Freshious comedians, they do all become part of the act. In the end, they do, they're baked in. That is the classic thing about being comedian. Like if somebody says to you,

oh, so and so this happened to me or I nearly got killed in a car accident and it's like, oh mate, I'm so sorry but staying in extra day, that'd be absolutely banging. Have you told that story on the stage about you coming back from America? No, I haven't. Well, you should.

You absolutely have to. Is that all our pictures? There was one more, but I don't know how we're doing for time. We are. We're just, you know what, yes. So basically that is just a, and I just sort of pitt this. Because glastomry,

such a huge part of my... So you went every year for that? I went every year in the 90s. Then I had a bit of a break. I went in 2004 and then I didn't go again until 2019. So the last one happened just before the pandemic. I did that. We have the same, because same.

You went... I had 12 years off and then I went with you last year, didn't I? Yeah. Last summer and I was like, I haven't been sent for 12 years. Yeah. A massive gap. And didn't think I was a bit like, oh, am I going to enjoy it now? I'm older.

I loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was actually one of my favorites. And it's the same, but different. It's like, oh, you're older. Yeah, you're older. But, I mean, also kind of like, people go, is it changed? You're like, everything's still in the same place.

Like, lost vagueness where we used to go, that's not there anymore. But, like, you know, it's still the same place. Yes. You know, obviously it's a lot more kind of glitzy now and you've got the different, you know. Yeah. But of it wasn't on telly when we first saw them. And they keep changing the stage names, don't they? Yes, and it's bigger.

And obviously, you know, I went to the last one. So 2000, I think it was, was the last one before. they were like, right, you need to have a big fence or this can't carry on anymore where like half a million people turned up. Gangs of scullies walking around with hammers and it was edgy. Did you always used to sort of just bowl in with the scullies? We never paid, yeah. Yeah, never paid.

Just get towards the gate and then they'd be like, all right, you want to go. I think it was harder to give someone a ticket and it was to get in without one. It genuinely felt like that through the 90s. Yeah, yeah. Tunnels under, fences down. People just walking in. It was like, you know, they didn't charge on Sunday for a start. That was kind of known that for you go on Sunday.

Anyway, you know. So in this picture, you're with your daughter? So last year was the first time. So I went, I took my daughter now, yeah, I mean. Can I just say, firstly, this slightly blew my mind. Yeah. I know a lot of people were like, what were you thinking? Well, no, firstly, what were you thinking?

But secondly, I hadn't seen you for ages. Kerry and I hadn't seen you for ages. So we're barreling along. I think we're going to go and see Paul McCartney. Yes, that was it, yeah, yeah. So we're off to go and see McCartney. This one with, your brother, Kerry's brother, my partner, Chloe and me, we're walking around and then we spot you.

We're like, oh, there's... But you've got your back to us. And I'm like, oh, Macafrey. And then you turn around and then you've got a daughter. And I was like, you've had a brother. Fuck, has happened that I missed out that you had a kid. Well, a pandemic, I think, is obviously, you know,

it happened in that time. Yeah, yeah. And I was so happy for you because I know... It's been a long journey. Yeah, yeah. It's been a long journey for you and your partner. And to see you both, you look so happy. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah. Oh, amazing. And it was so nice to take it. You look so happy. And in this photograph, you look very happy. And it was a very different Glastonbury to kind of, you know. I think that was one of the first things. We were like, oh, Paul, that's what are you doing it?

Yeah. So we sort of stayed off sight. Did you? Obviously, like I'm, you know, sober now. So I was able to drive in. I took them home one night and then I came back down to watch the cheeses and Mary Chain Primal Scream and St. Etienne. Oh, brilliant.

Literally. Oh, my God. It was like someone had curated a night for me. I'll tell you what, Paul, why don't you come back on Friday and we'll lay this on for you. it was hard work Were you with a group of mates Or just you and your partner So we met mates there

But like we were On the road in a Shepherds hut Just out in Shepton Mallet Which was amazing Yeah So easy enough to get on and off side Like 10 minute drive down the road And then you're able to shower

Every morning And kind of you know It was cheating But like No It's fine You had a baby Yeah

And she loved it And I'm kind of like Oh when You know Where I live There's a lot of people Who's parents Were hippies

And they took them there When they were kids I wish my parents had taken me to Glastonbury. Well, you were going to Cannes, having lovely holidays on myself. We were. We were to Cannes. I mean, Cannes does not sort of, what it sounds like compared to, we were towing a like 1972 caravan. To Canada.

Well, it does sound lovely. It's not quite as jet set as it. It was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't change that for the world. Paul, thank you for. Thanks for having me.

I've loved this. Yeah. Before you go, can we ask you? This is going to be really hard for you. Okay. You're going to struggle with this, but I know it's going to be Oasis. Can you think of a track that whenever you hear that song, it just takes you back to a time that maybe you think fondly of, or maybe that it's like has got, I don't know,

it's an unusual story attached to it or whatever. But I mean, usually something that... I think it is loaded by Primal Scream. I don't know what it is about that song. It's every time I hear it, it's like I'm hearing it for the first time. Andrew Weatherall, who produced it. I don't know if you know the history of the song, but it was another song called I'm losing more than I'll ever have.

which he then remixed, which then became loaded. Andrew Weatherill, he died just in 2020, and I was obsessed with this guy. I went to see him. He used to have a festival in France, in Carcasson, where I would go over there and kind of like, you know. He kind of the reason I moved to London, because he used to have nights in London

that I would go to regularly and all this sort of stuff. So there's that, and also it's just like, it just never gets old. No, it's a great thing. Every time I hear it, it's just like... Thank you so much. much. Absolutely pleasure.

Absolute pleasure having you. That was fantastic. I love Paul. He's hilarious. If you get a chance to see him do stand up, I highly recommend it. Absolutely. He is fantastic comedian.

Anyway, that's... You've got a busy week, haven't you? You've got a busy week. You've got to go. I've got to go because I'm going to the Montreal Just for Laughs comedy festival, Kerry God. This is so exciting. I'm so excited for you.

You're going to have a great time. I am excited. I am excited. And it just feels a little bit unreal that I'm going. But I'm really looking forward to it. How many shows are you doing while you're out there? I think I'm doing Tuesday. I'm part of the British show.

And I'm hosting that. So that'll be fun. Tuesday to Saturday. And then I'm doing the Just For Laf's Gala. And this will be on the telebox, yes? In Canada, yes. This will be on the telebox in Canada. We'll be able to see it on your socials.

Will we able to see it somehow? I don't know. But I'm on, I'm very excited because I'm on the Leslie Jones Gala and I really like her a lot. I'm a big fan. So I was, that was the galer. I was like, oh, I want, I want that one. I want it. I want it.

Manifest. Manifest. And I think that is what, it's not, you've got to do aggressive manifestation. It's got to be aggressive, otherwise it doesn't work. So for anyone listening to that, if there's something that you really want from your life, really give it that much aggression. as you're manifesting. Well, it works. It worked for you.

I hope you have a wonderful time. Thank you. I'll let you know all about it. And I probably will moan about something because that's my one. I haven't had a drink since Clastonbury and I'm not, I don't think I'm ever going back. You've literally said that to me about,

I don't know, 20 times over years. I'm never going back. And then the next time I see you, we're halfway down, a bottle of pino, green. Fair. Yeah. Okay. Good chat.

I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure.

Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question.

But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.