Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E10: Fin Taylor

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

"I'm just a guy that's never been punched" Fin shared some brilliant stories! Just listen to the episode, you won't be disappointed. Photo 01 - Fin and his dad - childhood Photo 02 - Fin after cutting off his finger in a handblender Photo 03 - Fin, Amanda and their daughter Photo 04 - Fin and his daughter Photo 05 - Fin vs The Internet PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. I can blow these out I just quite like them Just leaving them Yeah That's nice Fucking hell Do it go into your mechanisms

Mechanisms? Mechanisms That's one of the That's one of the That's Are you recording Joel Because that's one of the oldest things I've seen anyone do

Is spill a candle Near Huss and podcast script And then go Is that in your mechanisms? Honestly The wax got into your mechanisms Christ. Honestly, sometimes it's like working on a man.

So I wasn't, well, I wasn't going to say, but when you were both looking at the photos, you both got your glasses on and looked at your phone at like a 45, at a real 45 degree angle like that. I've got loads of these now as well. Oh yeah. What's the word for them? I don't know.

I call them like, it's a glasses chain. It's a lot of ladies. Oh, orange. That's quite nice. Good for your chalcras. Yeah. Is it?

Is orange good for your chakras? I don't know. It's what my number is saying. I feel like I've been misbooked. Shacras come out quite early for podcasts I normally do. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Brister and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane

with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together.

I'm quite late to the party as I'm with everything but I just finished watching season two of the bear Oh I don't I didn't get on with the bear Sorry I was really happy we were going to bond No I watched episode one and I had seasick I got seasick why? Yeah because the camera's wobbling all over the place And I was like oh I can't I'm out It's weird it's really split a room

Really I thought everybody loved it except me That's not very evenly split room No apparently not lots of people I know really don't like it Oh okay so I love it And the second series is even better. What do you do when you binge a thing? Do you literally just sit down and smash it? No, no.

Well, most of the episodes are like this. It's kind of random with the Bears, so most of the episodes are like 20 minutes, half an hour. Oh, I didn't know that. And then every now and again, you'll get one episode which is randomly an hour. That's mad. Why is that? Because they're like, listen, in this particular episode, it's going to take us an hour to tell this bit of the story. Wow.

That's what they do in America. They're like, listen, we can do anything we want because we are creating. this content. Well, everything's stopped now. So, not making any content. Which is why it's very important that I put out a viral video of me shopping. Sometimes they're two seconds long, sometimes they're four hours. Sometimes, 35, 35 hours.

I can't remember the last time. I finally started White Lotus because you kept telling me to. And I'm on it three. You're on it three. You're on it three. But I can't remember the last time I properly binged a thing. Daisy Jones and the six I binged. Oh, that's lovely.

I enjoyed that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is quite a very specific thing to have the time or inclination to binge something. Like properly, you know, you're watching it on your phone standing up while you're cooking. Oh, no, I don't do that. Oh, I've done that now and then. With something that I just can't stop watching. Like what?

Orange is a new black. I remember being obsessed with that when it was new. I just couldn't stop watching it. Wow. I had to power through right to the end. Oh, wow. I gave up after the series two, I think. Yeah, no, I did give up after series two, but when I was banging to see you.

But when I was banging. You said to the year. Oh yeah, but I meant the end of that time. It's the end of that episode. Yeah, okay, yeah. But I remember wanting to just watch it. To absorb it. Yes.

I can't remember the last show that I wanted to do that with. I didn't really want to do that with a bear. I actually quite enjoy watching an episode a day or two episodes a day. Do you watch it with Chloe? Yeah, but she's on a laptop. Oh. What do you mean? You're watching it in different rooms?

No, she's not looking at the film on a laptop. She's doing stuff like she's looking at colour swatches or she's, thinking about the new sofa or she's... Anyway, that's what she's doing at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're not, she's not watching it? I mean, like... It's like parallel play with toddlers.

Yeah, we're parallel playing, yeah, yeah, yeah. So sometimes we'll watch something and we'll be on episode four, and then something will happen and she'll go, sorry, when did that happen? Oh. Well, you weren't watching it because you were looking at your laptop, but that happened in episode two. And you've got patience for that? No, I don't have patience for anything.

Yeah, yeah, literally. I mean, I'm... It's difficult, because Ben doesn't really do telly. He's sort of... He's a reader. He's a reader. So we don't really watch. Sometimes we watch shows together, but he gets really like, I'm out.

Like he'll watch one, episode one and two, and I'll like, should we watch episode three tonight together? And he's like, oh, nah. I'm not bothered. I'm like, what do you, what? I mean, this is like, this is what couples do. I mean, like, literally that is what we're all doing. We've all shut our frontal lobes down, and we're just rocking backwards and forwards

to Netflix. That's what we're doing. Ben's not. No, okay. I mean, in a way, that's what I do love about him. He's just doing his own. He's like, I'm reading a book. He's playing the base.

He's reading a book. I always think Ben has been quite high brow, which is off-putting. It's not high. He just likes reading. He's really into reading. Yeah, he's really into reading. But he'll read any old shit. It's not all like, it's not all proust.

Men's health. He'll just read a pamphlet. Yeah? He just likes reading. I tell you what I just read, Michaela Cole's Manifesto. Oh my God. It was really good. You just could read it in an hour.

It's a lecture that she did a few years ago in Edinburgh. Oh, the Edinburgh TV. Festival. Okay, yeah, I'd like to read that. It's really good. I recommend it. And did you buy it from a bookshop? I bought it from the tape. You bought it from the tape? Yes, I'm very highbrow. I am hard. I am. Is that your high bra voice?

Yes. I can't do it sincerely. Oh my God. It sounds like it's coming from a gallery. It's like it's squeaking out. I can't do culture unless it's ironically. Look at this painting, Jennifer. I went to the date. I bought a book at the tape. It's only four and a half pages long.

Anyway, I did buy it at the tape. It's the school holidays. I'm going to fucking galleries. Yeah, yeah, great, great. I took the kids to the tape. Anyway, the kids are back at school now, so thank God we haven't got a do-day trips. Do-da trips.

I think we've done it, haven't we? That's enough. Flipping it. What a delight, as our guest here. Stay with me. Our guest today is he is such a brilliant stand-up comedian, known him such a long time, as has Kerry Goddlyman, and he has his own internet series,

Fittin versus the internet. You've seen him on your teleboxes. And he's an all-round good guy. It's Finn Taylor. Hi, what a lovely intro. I really was... Riffing. Although it did start like you were being Sarky,

and then it got sincere. I can't be sincere with Finn. I can't be sincere. I have a resting bitch voice as well. People talk to, on the phone sometimes I go, you're right, I go, yeah, I'm just not a fucking, hello, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that long. My kids are you angry?

I'm like, no, I just talk like this. I love you. Resting bitch voice, I'm going to use that. But you're happy. Yeah, so it's a shout about it. I'm not fucking Harry Krishna, is what I mean? Fair enough. Listen, so your photographs, how are you said you're a bit shit with photos?

Terrible. Elaborate a bit of them. My wife always is like, has to tell me to take the photo. to the nice moment because I'm... I do that with mine husband. She's like, come on. It's not quite the situation you see where now when you're on holiday and there's like,

you know, you ever see that where there's like a girl in the sea, like up to her knees and then her poor sort of emasculated boyfriend just with three phones taking all the photos of her for her social. Yeah, you don't want that. It's not that, but it's like, yeah, I just, the kid will do something cute and then I'll be enjoying it and my wife's like, come on, you know, record it.

I don't want to make it. it sound like a sort of. No, it sounds familiar. Do you take all the photos? I take a lot of them and then I get a bit pouty that I'm not in any. I'm like, I'm not in any pictures, bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. But weirdly, I take photos of the dog all the time.

Right, that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, but that's pre-kits, post kids, isn't it? Pre-kids, you've got any number of different photographs. Friends, nights out. Friends, I don't, I don't think I could name five friends at this point. Such a small. Such a small, small world at the moment.

Yeah, my friend, yeah. Got any pictures of the friend? Well, no, because his phone starts in lockdown, so. Right. Oh, so no friends. No friends. So your dad sent this picture to you, and it's actually two pictures in one. Because he's discovered layouts.

I haven't discovered layouts. He started this thing where, oh, watch out. Oh, dear. Oh, really? What is layouts? Well, it's like a way of. making a sort of compilation of several photos but in one photo. I want those skills.

It's what it says it is. It's layouts. But Dad started printing them and sending them as cards to people. Oh really? This is good. I like this because someone else is doing the photo admin. In a way, yeah. So hang on.

So you've got two in one. Any reason why he sent you these two particular? Because one of them, your dad's in this. I see him that's your dad there. He just must have found the. photos. So it's just random? Yeah. But no, but we were talking about the fact that I look after my daughter

two days a week and then he was like, oh I looked after you, when you were that age, I looked after you because he was sort of a job of musician, so he was around in the day. Right. We would have been in Glasgow. Is that where you grew up? I grew up in Glasgow until about seven. My mum's Scottish. What happened to your accent? Straight

down to Oxford to a private school. Shook it off. Shook it off. Weeks gone. I do not. My mom, my mom, my parents, both teachers, and my mom got a job in a private school, so we lived in a private school. Oh, wow.

And I went, I got in for free. That's a bit like Marcus Birdman, whose dad was a vicar in a private school. And so that's how he got into the private school. And it's like this weird thing where I now have all the kind of stigma with none of the actual fucking money. To like make that all right. Because the winds have changed so much.

You sound entitled. Yeah. But I'm not. to nothing. Yeah, yeah. I had a great education, but not, you know. Is that where your parents are from? Are they from...

Mum's from Edinburgh. Dad's from Bedford. But they lived in Glasgow. Yeah, they taught at school in Glasgow. So when did you move south? 97. So when you were seven? Yeah.

And when we were like in our mid-20s. Graduated. Wow. So I love this one. You have to cut that edit point where they both just sort of sighed into themselves. Really old. You're very cute. I love this picture of you in this hat here at the top.

It's a bit clanny, isn't it? I've just realized that the hat's a bit... It's a bit clanny. I'm taking that. It's like, that's a birthday hat or something. When do you... No, but there's the back. The back's what's happening at the back.

Or like the... Yeah, it's got clang-vage, you know what I mean? That was what, yes, because also, so my dad was also the Grand Wizard of the Glasgow branch. Okay, fine. That's a joke. That's a joke. And then in the other photo, really, it's quite a sort of hip-hop. Yeah, it has got that

It's really cute Although you do look a bit like Davido dogsy Yeah actually Yeah You do look like a big duffel coat That's my dad on the left Look at old telly In the top

Oh yes But that's what we all had those push button tellies I remember when we got a remote control You probably called it the tube What's on the tube So do you remember when you moved From Scotland to Oxford Yeah

How was that And that must have felt Well it was all I mean yeah I didn't want to move because I was just, I had like friends in school. You had friends. Yeah, I know. Plural.

I had friends in school and stuff. Whereas my sister was younger and so I didn't really know what was going on. Right, yeah, so it didn't affect you as much. But yeah, I remember going to, there was a McDonald's opposite the entrance to the school in Glasgow, obviously. So when dad picked me up, he would just, we'd just go in there. I remember that. Great times. So, walking into an obesity crisis.

which is my later childhood. I tried to find photos to me when I was a real fat fucker but I couldn't find any. What happened when you were so... Do you know what it was?

We moved, so we lived in a boarding house and the house so it was like 58 to 13 year old girls and then like a door which was they'd knock on all the time and looking for my mum

and my mum would be like putting out fires girls were having their first periods girls were crying because they're away from their parents the parents are very well off but emotionally a bit distant all that stuff mum's just trying to, you know, plug all the holes,

make sure everyone's all right. But she wasn't really around. And so I was just constantly dealing with sort of angry, sort of pre-condescent girls. God. And you were how old? Well, between eight and two, I was the same age as them.

God. I went to school with some of them. And then in the next, anyway, the next sort of building along was the canteen and part of the deal. We also got free, like, the meals that the borders got. So I basically had a fry up every day for three years.

and I think that's what put the weight on. That will pack it out. You know, I imagine your comfort eating a bit, aren't you? Just to make yourself feel better. It's totally why I'm a comedian. That period. It does sound stressy. Just of like...

So unusual. Just sharing your mum. With all those kids. With 50 girls. Yeah. That is going to have shaped you. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm fully aware. Fully aware that... And your relationships with women. That's the first thing the therapist would be like, hmm. Yes. Yeah. I always felt sorry for the kids at school that's like mum was a dinner lady or nan was a dinner.

Because you're being sort of watched by your parents. So you can't reinvent yourself or experiment with being other versions of yourself because your parents are around. Yeah. I mean the secondary school, I definitely remember being like starting that beginning like, right, I'm going to be a new person. Didn't like primary school or prep school as it was called. I want to be a new. So that I remember making a calculated effort to be more of a funny guy. Really?

Really? But also my dad was more of a fun. He was like a drama teacher. He was like a character teacher. All the kids loved him. Right. So I was like, I just got to surf those coat tails. Whereas mom was like, you know, house mistress.

Also, a bit of bit strict. She was like deputy head pastoral by the time I left, you know, looking after kids. It's all quite serious. Dad's, you know, let's be a tree for half an hour. Come on, guys. Call me jazz. I love it. Classic drama.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was easier. So secondary school was, I really like my secondary school. I know other people as well that have, can remember reinventing themselves when they changed schools. Like, Ben did it. I have a specific memory of being in my bathroom, basically giving myself a pep talk. Really? Being like the day, like maybe the day or the two days before going, this is, you're someone else now. Yeah. I was starting to grow. So I was getting less fat just through physics rather than everything else.

And I was like, you know, right, no more fucking fryups every morning. Yeah. It's a new beginning. some zingers when you get there. You're fun guy. You'll be fun. You're not going to be that dower fat kid anymore. You're going to be the fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really like, yeah. I was, but also quite quickly, I remember my, one of the teachers when I was, this must have been in the first couple of months. Just, I met him in a common room and he was like, oh, you're Mr. Taylor son. You're the one we can't tell off.

And I was like, ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck yeah. So I did, I was, I did give. Were you a bit of a prick? Yeah, I was basically the sort of, early beginnings of my act now. It's just seeing, you know, it's just a guy who's never been punched in it.

It's just seeing, great persona type. Yeah, yeah. The guy that's never been punched. Seeing what I can get away with. And the guy that's never been punched is like the pre-discuitous. Have you got no photos of your uni times? Well, no. I mean, I will do. I'm not on Facebook anymore. So I don't like. That's where they all live. Yeah. That's what, that was the only good thing about Facebook is that, because I've always been like you, I'm terrible at taking photos. so I don't ever have any photographs,

but Facebook was quite good, people would tag you in a photo, you're like, oh, I forgot that, that happened, or that thing there. Seeing your head from a different angle. Yeah, so seeing myself from like a day. I hate that, don't you hate that? I look like the trunch ball from it.

Because you've got an idea about what you look like, but really it's just that. Yeah, totally. That's why I don't like shopping mirrors, try and close on. You're like, whoa, too many angles. Those sex people who have a mirror up there. Oh, I don't know. What's wrong with sex people?

Those sex people. Berlin people. Yeah. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western.

Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Let's get on to another photo. So what's... We're going to have to skip ahead, I think, because I don't have any... That's all right. Let's take your second photo. Which one we've got? that might be the injury one

should we have a look at that one that's quite the face although your wife looks quite happy I think she was just sort of working at you think laughing it doesn't feel like there's a huge amount so that was in lockdown I

my wife was working I wasn't obviously but my basically my mother-in-law had passed away just before lockdown and then lockdown happened and we were like well let's go and stay with Amanda's dad

yeah Oh yeah because I think I gave with you during lockdown and you was like yeah I'm with my in-laws yeah yeah I went fucking mad

where was that dorking lovely house really on my father-in-law I you're sort of I ended up doing like food deliveries with him in the community really got into it but after like three or four months

I was like I need to fucking leave yeah yeah yeah because also like he he doesn't really work and so I was just sort of pottering about and he must have been grieving as well of yeah yeah so I was just sort we were just pottering around

making fucking jam and I was like at one point I was like I'm 30 this is this feels early for jam this feels early for like had you had your daughter then no right no because otherwise I always just done that so was this lockdown yeah this is first this is first this is first the very first one we all we all aged dramatically oh it was all jam and baking and sourd we spent two days making pickled walnuts carry which is quite a deep cut isn't it I'm quite impressed I like things like that yeah But now we've got fucking low.

You don't need that many of them. We've got fucking loads of people. Do you want to me? Yeah, I'll take them. I just think I've ever had one. What would you have them with? Cheese. I think that's all you happen with.

We spent a week trying to broaden the recipe. We all had time on our hands in a week for that sort of shit. The photo is because I was just cooking. I got really into cooking. Right. And I decided one day to make a lemon verbina pesto. because there was lemon verbina growing out the front. That doesn't really work, does it?

It was all right. The main problem was that I put my finger in the stick blender and then pressed on. For whatever reason, I don't really know why. You know, when you're like, you're judging something, and then you're like, I'm just going to get that out. And then for whatever reason, I just, I don't know whether it was like subconsciously a cry for help

where I was like, I'm so fucking bored that I want to go to A&E. It was like, who was going to A&E in a pandemic? Well, it's quiet. Oh. Oh, God. Not a big cue, but I've got a scar. I don't know if you can see that. Let me just give the glasses.

Yeah, you can see like stitches. Was it hanging off, like flapping about? It wasn't flapping, but it was sort of at an angle. Oh, geez. And such a stupid thing to do. Yeah. Right, mum. Such a mum coming.

I mean, you're really, fucking glasses. Yeah. I mean, just such a monument. Yeah, no, it is. It's a real, but I am also, I'm a real, like I cook all the time. and I also just cut myself all the time. I'm really clumsy. Do you use those blue catering plasters?

Yeah, yeah. Big knives, bang. Ow! And then Amanda has a heart. Gardening and I've always got wounds and yeah, yeah. Amanda has a heart attack every time she hears me scream from the kitchen. But then I read a book, I read Anthony Bourdain's book where it was like you're not a proper chef unless you've got a cut to load of your hands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, he sounds like a very stable man. He's actually, he's also a proper chef. Right. So who took that picture? I think that was me. Was that a selfie? I think people were asking.

what happened and I told them and then captioned it with that photo Well it's a great photo because you look pathetic and it looks like your wife is slightly laughing at you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah It looks like she literally doesn't mean So I had a sling as well It was that bad that had a sling.

What to keep it? To keep it upright, yeah Oh, so what because of the blood? I don't know, I guess so. I don't know, I don't know either. Stop the finger falling off maybe, I don't know. I always used to like, you know if you go to a gig and there's some sort of moshing going on

I would just always be that, you know, there's always a person on the floor and everyone go, everybody get mine! Oh, that was you. That was me, always. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know this about you. Well, because someone would push past and that would just send you.

I don't know, like, I'd do the jumping and then I'd be like, oh, I don't know where I'm going, and then I'd just hit the deck and then people would be like in. Did you do like in school of Rockway, you're jumping and you think you're going to get caught and everyone just steps aside and you've done that. Yeah, I've done crowd surfing and everyone moved out of the way. Yeah, that's a bit of an ego wallop, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we talk about your wife as well?

Because I like to get in on... Yeah, we can talk about my wife. Where did you meet? What does she do? Who is she? She... I've got a really warm... Yeah, you do.

It's like a mum when interviewing her son with several, after several failed relationships. And he's bringing a girl back. Well, who is this one then? Come on. Who is she? Who is she? What does she do? She works at advertising.

We met at Bristol uni, but we met at Bristol uni, but we... didn't get together until 10 years later. We were friends for ages and very good friends and I always fancy there. Yeah. And my friends were like, all our friends were like, oh, when's that going to happen? And I was like, uh-da-da-da-oh, I don't know. Why were you just, why did you put it off so long? Well, because I was just like,

I don't know, well, we were in different relationships at time, but I had whatever. Did she fancy you the whole time? No, and then. I was going to say probably not. No. And then I think I needed to basically sort of grow up, get my shit together a bit more. But then, you know, the classic body clock standards lower. You know, the time wrong way, it's worked out. So no, come on.

How did you guys get together? So we were on a big night out with all our friends from uni and I hadn't seen it for a while and we both had sort of bumble fatigue. As in dating apps. Oh, bumbles are dating apps. Oh, you've got to understand. We just didn't do that.

We don't know what that is. Sorry. We'd been stepping out with various... Corting. Cauting various flames. Yeah. Through the interweb on our phones. It's amazing these days.

Yeah, Tinder, Fat Eagle, Bumble or whatever. And, yeah, I'd only been on it for about six months. And it just is very weird. I am so glad I never had to do it. I bet it must just be soul-destroying. Like all the gays were doing it years before. So I did it. Because I was doing dating apps.

They weren't apps, but internet dating. And then when I was doing it, everyone was like, oh my God, you are such a loser. And I was like, listen, I can't walk into all bar one and just pull someone. This is the only way I'm going to meet another lesser is this way. And then it all started to like, now it's kind of normal. Now it's normal. People don't meet in real life. But the weird thing is it seems like, well, I don't know what it's like for lesbians,

but for gay men it seems perfect because for a lot of gay men it's quite transactional. Oh, yeah. Whereas lesbians, from the outside, it seems like they're quite sort of wants to nest. Immediately. Immediately. Immediate nesting. So, whereas, like, internet dating is fine for that. But the apps are all, like, basically straight men treat it as if it's a gay men dating app.

They're all like the own grinder. They're treating it like a sort of lesbian dating app. And so there's this clash where basically straight men are just looking for fun. Booty calls. Booty calls. Also, what's the deal with... Straight men are looking for big batty gals to have booty calls with. There's loads of streetmen on there.

They've got, they're in relationships, but they're just gone there to like... Because it's like a fun, it's a game that you just flick through. So you never know. It's a consumerist mentality, isn't it? It's like, well, I've used that now. I've kept the receipt. I'll get another one.

If you like, yeah. Anyway, so we were both a bit like jaded from that. And then we were, I think we were like holding hands on a, going to the next place. And a friend of ours was like, oh, when are you two going to get together? Why are you holding hands? Just as friends? That was just like, it was just, we were drunk and it was friends.

and that was a thing. And then one of us, where my friends was like, when are you going to fucking ask each other out? And just like, get on with it. And I was like, yeah, go on. When are we? And she was like,

well, all right, but you'll have to like take me out properly. Yeah. And then she got me really drunk and we snogged. And I remember snogging her and feeling like, oh, this is it. But I was so pissed that the whole place was spinning. And I was like, no.

Oh. No. And then I stayed on her sofa and then threw up in her toilet. Oh, this is so romantic. And then, yeah, took on a proper date. So like I booked pre drinks at a cocktail bar in Soho and then went to Polpo that little tap. Oh, it was a proper date.

And then I was like, you choose a place afterwards. Right. But she didn't know Soho. So she was like trying to get a fucking like ibis or something. So I then quite, I pulled the Soho Theatre member card out and went, well, I can get us in here. My posters are on the wall. Just real, you know, real, like swinging it about, you know, real.

The thing about getting with a friend, It must be so stressful because if it, because obviously you want it to work because you know each other and you sound like. Yeah, but if it doesn't work, it's not just about for you, it could be the end of the friendship. It's like 10, 12 of us, like a big group of friends. Yeah, that's a lot.

We go on holiday as like a 12. Oh, do you? That would have been like, because a lot of them have now have had kids at the same time. So we're all, you know, it's quite nice. Yeah. But yeah, we go on big holidays, you know, when we can. Yeah, so this had not worked out.

It would have been really bad. Yeah. Also, because she's the main organizer. Oh, so you'd have been out. So you would have been out. the spreadsheet queen. I would have been like, fuck. Oh, there was a lot hanging on this day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually, I didn't think about that, but in retrospect it wasn't at risk. But it's all worked out fine. Let's look at this first picture of your daughter. She's so tiny. But she's probably about five or six months there. Oh, my gosh.

So that's me and my wife and my daughter when she was still on oxygen. So she was born two months premature. And... That must have been so stressful. quite stressful in a pandemic. So like testing every day to go and visit all that stuff. Oh wow.

She was in the unit for, we were in there for seven kings. Yeah, we were in there for like seven weeks. Yeah, we haven't got beds. It's just chairs, like school chairs and stuff. And fuck me, some of the other parents are to stop going. And then also, because you're in, we're in there for like seven weeks, but we're people like you who are just there for a few days coming in and then going. And then they've all hard as well.

Because most of the baby, the good thing about premature babies is that they don't really have very powerful lungs. Right. When they're kicking off, it's quite quiet. But then every nine and then there's fat fucker would come in. Who was there because he needed to be weaned off like sugar that he was getting in pregnancy because maybe gestational diabetes or something. Right.

And there was this one baby who was like 12, 13 pound, big, big fucker. Whoa. So loud. Screaming every 10 minutes because they wanted sugar. And that was next. to me and my daughter. That must have been like sci-fi. Just the scale.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, this cannot. And the parents are like, oh my God, when can we go home? And I'm like, love, but we've been here for fucking three weeks. And I don't want to body shame the kid, but honestly. And then you get you, and then you, because your daughter's tiny, you'll see normal-sized kids. You're like, I'm fucking out. They're fat.

You know what I mean? You're on your perspective. Yeah. You became really into. Yeah. They look weird. You wouldn't bother. Yeah.

But then when we got discharged, she had to be on oxygen for, She was an auction for like four months. Right. Four months. But it was a tiny amount. That was really annoying. I can get boring about it. It was just hardly any.

But she had these big tubes. We had to have a tank in the house. We had to like, where we had to walk around. Had to go to like jetpack tank thing. Yeah. So that's what she's, she's got oxygen on in that photo.

Right. She's a near cool little thing there. Yeah. But actually, do you know what? She's not really any smaller than my son was. You know, like he was so small.

And at the time, I was the same as you. I mean, I thought he was normal size. Yeah. I was like, yeah, this is just how babies are. They're like, you can pick them up with one hand. But he had his brother right there to have offers and scale.

Yeah, but even he, because he was only like a pound bigger. So like it was like one and people were like, God, he's so small. I was like, well, don't look at the other one. You know, and you just accept it. And also you accept that when you pick up, I mean, literally I could pick, eat both of my children up one hand, one hand. Yeah. You know, like they were so small.

And then have some of her friends, they're like, oh, yeah. You're like, oh my God. Do your back out. What are you like doing this one? Very dense. Child. So dense. Some of them are so dense.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's great. That's like the classic photos I have with your toddler, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. She's just got into stickers and sticking them on face and stuff. I remember when my daughter used to do that, would get a new sticker book and get, like, find the page with the student, and then all over the face and then at speech she could do it.

Yeah. On car journey. She looks so happy. She's got, is that one of the Disney, oh, is that a Disney princess on her forehead?

She's got a Disney princess on a Yeah, we're not quite, yeah, we're not quite at that point yet of knowing, she's just like sticking stuff. Yeah. So now, it's so funny because that premature thing

is such like a big, almost good community of people have been through it and yet quite quickly it becomes like it's not the most defining thing about her anymore. She's just a normal toddler like, fucking hell,

just going, do you, do you do the thing? It seems like more, of a dad's thing. I don't know what it's like in lesbian couples, but are you going into

the soft play with them and like crawling around? That's a mum thing. Is it? Oh God. Ben would take a book. He'd take a book to softplay. I'm like,

I'm crawling through all the piss on the piss on the shit. I've only ever seen dad's do it, but fuck me, it's brutal. There is something kind of weird about just watching your kid

hang from a cage like really far above you, crying. Yeah. And you're like just, I'm having a coffee. Yeah. I see parents

who see their kids are like and they're like back kids in distress and they're like I'm just I don't have seen it yeah yeah

yeah it's good for them because also she's been through so much like she's also she also had sepsis twice

so we've been in a hospital a bunch of she's been through loads and so now when she's crying up soft play I'm like

you're fucking fine she's been through far worse she has been through a lot yeah yeah but she's pretty robust oh yeah

sturdy yeah like an old Nokia yeah like an old Nokia yeah Have we done all of them, yeah? No, well, there's my internet.

This is the problem is that you've got them a sincere. This is why I don't post these photos on my Instagram because it's quite jarring with the content we're about to discuss. That's what I should have gone for my photo shoot, that sort of look. Yeah? Yeah, the jolly, that's definitely. Well, her or me? You?

Right, yeah. That catches a man running. This particular episode of Finn versus the internet might be one of my favourite. Oh, that's good to know. Do you want to talk to us? For those of you that aren't following you on social media, do you want to talk to us about what Finn versus the internet is? Finn versus the internet is a YouTube series that I clip up

and put on all the social media platforms where I basically sit down with people who have big followings, but I don't know what they do, and I just sort of have a go at them for eight minutes, 10 minutes. And it's sort of like in that Allie G tradition of making celebrities cringe or make them feel uncomfortable. And they don't know what they're getting involved in when they agree to it. Well, the first series they didn't, and then obviously now it's out there, they did sort of know.

But interestingly, they're never ready for it. Right. Even though they're like, oh yeah, I know what's, I know he's going to be a bit weird. They're fucking never, we go quite hard. They never, they're never ready for it. I mean, I'm watching it and I feel quite robust. Yeah. But there are times where I've got my hands over my face going, oh my God, Finn.

I can't believe you said that. It is quite, you do tread a very fine line. It's a sphincter workout. It's a sphinct to work out. I like it, but when I get up, my chair is stuck to my ass. And it is quite full on. You, the thing I think that I love about it so much is there's something about watching someone have fun. Yeah.

And really enjoy and be playful and silly. And also, you really don't take yourself seriously at all. And I think there's partly the reason why you're going to do. get away with it is that you're not afraid to look like a complete knob as well. No. No. So, and I think, like I said, I mean, I'm wearing a fucking turtleneck in this series. I mean, I mean, but this is the thing is that you look like you're having the time of your life. Yeah, we really, it's so fun. It's all I want to do now. Because we were just chatting before we came on about how no one watches TV anymore and you've just got to make your own stuff.

It's quite, which is, you could see as depressing. All you can see is really liberating. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, fuck it. What I want to make. It's so creative. Yeah. But yeah, it's kind of around the time I had we had the kid actually I was sort of like you know you get that kind of oh fuck now I'm responsible it's a real it's a real firecracker up your ass isn't it and I was like what do I have to have some kind of content I don't really want to host a podcast I like guessing on them but I don't think I you know I basically don't want to

interview people sincerely because that's not me we're struggling with it yeah it's difficult isn't it this has been really hard yeah yeah it's difficult and but I was like well what if yeah what if I can, what would I make? I'd be like, well, fuck, I just want to, I just want to say naughty things to people who aren't expecting them. And also it's, it's brilliant because it's, the people are internet stars.

So, because of the, what we were talking about earlier, the LG thing and they were politicians or big sports personalities or whatever. But now, it's through the internet with people that are stars on the internet. Yeah, and the character I'm playing is someone who's fair, it just does not get the internet. And just sort of thinks it's basically just all porn. That's all what it's for. Right. Just like, it's like, basically a sort of boo.

Buma Dad is the character I'm playing. Yeah. And then it just means like... The boomers get a lot of shit on the internet, don't they? Well, they don't understand it. They can't fight back. They're not seeing it in here and anywhere. They're not watching it anyway.

They're not offended. They're making walnut pickle. Yeah. Exactly. Pickle of Walnuts. Sorry, sorry. So that one was, that one was Sharon Gaffka, who was great, real goer. She was great. She was so great.

And who's she? She's on love items. But no one knows. But no one knows. So the point was... A YouTuber. No, she's a... influencer. She was on Love Island

Right. And then, but now she's kind of I never watched Love Island, that's the thing. And she went along with it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she was really. She was great. But she's also like, so we try and we want our to like co-post on Instagram so that's like broader in the reach of it. And a lot of people say they will and then they see the clip like, no, I can't about my fucking friend. Oh really? That's interesting. But she was just yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she got a mess because the clip, the first clip was me saying, I've never watched a love island. You on it but my understanding is it's basically this very sexy place but it's become quite sad because

all the people involved were taking their own lives like um geoffrey epstein and she was like uh um uh think you think of a different island kind of thing so she thought it was a sincere yeah um uh and so but she accepted that collab and then she got a frantic message from her management being like what what are you doing you can't have that on your fucking on your on your your grid so she had to like she you know take it down but then she said yes to all the other ones so No, she was great. She was a real, she lets us get away with fucking murder. Would you do live ones?

We need to work out how it would work. Yeah, because there's so much, because there's also, and these are fun as well, there's also like a blooper reel, isn't there? Yeah. Where we can see now how often you corpse while you're doing it. Because some of the stuff you're saying is absolutely fucking bananas. And so obviously you're going to corpse. But actually I think coaxing live is fine.

and it's fun. It is, but it's just like, so we record for an hour and the edits are like eight or ten. So very tightly, it's dense. The rhythm of it is in the edit. Exactly. And so I don't yet know.

And also, it's a different dynamic where the guest is like laughing with us in the studio and then there's a room full of people that might be laughing at. Oh, yeah. Because the thing is, I'm not a huge fan of roasts, but it's not a roast in as much as the character you're playing is a complete,

is a complete moron. Yeah. So, like, with a roast, it is two people. it's a level playing field, you go out there, you're trying to have the best burn. I don't personally, I think Kerry, you're the same. No, I hate those. It's not my vibe and I don't really.

I just don't like it. I don't like, I don't enjoy watching them. But this for me... There are no muscles in my spina. It's just a loose, loose hole. Listen, these are good. These photos are good. Thank you for sharing.

Well, yeah, sorry they're not better photos, but... No, Finn, these were brilliant. And also, before you go, also I know you've got a stand-up special, which is also brilliant, and I urge people to watch. Is that on you? On my YouTube channel. Everything's on my YouTube channel. Where did you record that?

That's Square Theatre. It's really good, and you should definitely watch it, and it's on there on Finn's YouTube channel. I'm going to watch it. I love your stand-up. Thank you. I remember seeing one of your Edinburgh shows a few years ago, and it just blew me away. Oh, that's nice.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That was such a great show. Thank you. Brilliant. All right, let's shut this down. Let's shut this down. Thank you so much, Finn. Thanks having me. I'm Max Rushden.

I'm David O'Darady. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast. What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure.

Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question.

But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word, this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday?

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