Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E14: Ayesha Hazarika

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

"So I'm lying on the ground watching these senior politicians (literally) walk all over me" Ayesha has some absolutely brilliant stories (and photos) from her life in politcs, comedy and music. Phot...o 01 - A budding journalist Photo 02 - The hedonistic days Photo 03 - Ayesha and Caitlin Moran Photo 04 - Ayesha and Audrey Photo 05 - When Ayesha met Prince Harry PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ For tickets for Josh’s Gobsmacked tour please go to: www.offthekerb.com A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:55 Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page, so have a little look at Memory Lane podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Come on, we can all be nosy together. I've done about five self-tapes in the last week. Oh, have they gone? Who knows? Self tapes are weird. You send them off and then mostly you don't hear anything back. I mean, I've literally never heard back. Except for once, which is that one acting job I got.
Starting point is 00:01:47 But what is very disconcerting, I don't know if you agree, is when you've done one of these self-tapes, I do it on my phone. I don't know what you do. Yeah, I do it on your phone, yeah. And then Google goes, this time, two years ago. and then a fucking self-tape comes up as a reminder. Have you ever had that?
Starting point is 00:02:07 And then you're like, no. Because I get those, I get the videos of like this time, last year you were wearing this jumper. And then they choose the music and it's like I get prolaxed with nostalgia in the street going, oh, I remember that jumper. But I never get a self-tape. It never gives me a. Actually, Jen, I delete them. I delete them.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Well, sometimes. sometimes I think I've deleted every iteration of that self-tape, but obviously I've done like 46 takes and one creeps through and they'll just be me and I look at it and go, what the hell's that? And then I make the mistake of clicking on it and it's me talking to camera in character. You don't want to be haunted by an old self-tape.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Especially for a job you didn't get. It's always a job I didn't get. And oh my God, if my teeth could grow fur and start itching, it was just. Never look at a self-take. Never look back. Never look back. Always look forward.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Like a shark. Yeah. They are a bit unraveling. I do miss auditions. I miss going in the room and all the chit-chat and, you know. I like that. I don't miss any. I mean, I never really did any of that, but I can't imagine missing that.
Starting point is 00:03:22 I mean, I'm kind of grateful for the self-tape thing because then I don't have to leave Brighton to go up to do an audition. Yeah, no, fair enough. To do an audition, which, frankly, have no chance of getting. but I'm literally doing it for the experience and then come all the way back again. It's annoying for me because all the sort of smug bastards that live in Brighton is working for them. But I live in London, you see, so I can pop in.
Starting point is 00:03:41 I can pop in for a meeting? Can I pop in? Let me pop in for a meeting. Let me. Please can I pop in. Kerry, you don't like meetings, so don't fucking lie. I like auditions though because they're not meetings. They're not like meeting.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Let's meet and just chat and just talk about our favorite things. Shall we have a meeting? Shall we have a meeting? Would you like to meet? An audition. Should we have a coffee? by nature because you know what you're there to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:04 You're there to get on with that. And you're in and you're out. You're in and you're out. And they're going, do you want it like that? Do you like it like that? Have you got any notes? And they go, you could be less aggressive. That seems like a recurring note.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Yeah. Yeah. And then I go, fine. And then I do it again. Do you say it like that? Fine. All right, fine. And then I do it again in a different way. And I give them some options and then I go.
Starting point is 00:04:29 But I think the, This is like a masterclass. This is the masterclass. If people are interested, there might be people who want to do acting and they're like, well, obviously don't look to me because I haven't got any, I haven't got the chops. But you are.
Starting point is 00:04:41 You could be like, what is it? Well, they do that thing. The studio. Oh, studio we carry. Yeah. Yeah. This is what you do. Look them in the eye.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Say the lines quick. And then go on. Tap out. Pop into M&S and see if you need any knickers and a nighty and some socks. That's what I miss is when you go into town, you get a few bits. Oh, is that, that's what you actually miss. It's just shopping.
Starting point is 00:05:08 It's the connection, Jen. It's the connection. Yeah, it's about the connection and taking a note and shaping and refining my performance. And I get to pop up to N and S and get a few bits. Okay. Okay. I went in for a Dernone advert once. Years ago.
Starting point is 00:05:24 No, Dernone? You mean Dannon? Dannon. Okay. Dannon. Well, I don't know if I said Dernone. She's like Decafalon all over here. This is like Decafalon.
Starting point is 00:05:33 This is like Stozy. Mm, Danan. See, I could do that. Danan. No, it's in fact, it wasn't Danon. It was, mm. Danil. Because it's French.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Oh, right. It's French. Do you say Oliver Bonas or Oliver Bonos? Oh, I say Oliver Boner because I think I'm funny. Yeah, I say Oliver Bonner, but I do say Oliver Bonner, but I do say Oliver Bono. But I was doing a job today. Oliver Bono. Oh, I do.
Starting point is 00:06:01 And then I was with a woman today and she said, Oliver, what is it? Bonas. Bonass. Now you've asked me, I don't know. It's almost like when someone watches you while you're running and you forget how to run. Oliver. Oliver Bonas. Oliver Bonas.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I've never said Oliver Bonas. That's insane. Well, what do you say? I say Oliver Bonner and I don't know how to say it. You didn't say Bono. Okay, Oliver Bonas. Oliver Bonas. My friend calls Warehouse, Hawhouse, and she has since the 80s.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I said, when did you get your time? She went to a hall house. So I say Oliver Boner too, but when you're not talking to your mates that find Boner hilarious, what do you say? Oliver Bonas. Oliver Bonas? Oh, shit. I think I genuinely say Oliver Bonas. I say Oliver Bonas.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Actually, Oliver Bonas actually makes sense. Oliver Bonas. No, wait a second. Oliver Bonas or Oliver Bonas. Bonas. I say, I say Oliver Bonas. But I was with a woman today. You said she got a thing from Oliver.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Bonas. Bonas. Bonas. No, no, Bonas. I'm with you. So Bonas, not bonas. I wouldn't say bonas. It's a bit like Bono and Bono, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:07:21 Oh, I've never heard anyone say FOMO. What? No, it's FOMO. I'm not talking about FOMO. I'm talking about Bono. Oh, I was talking about FOMO. Jesus. I thought you meant.
Starting point is 00:07:33 FOMO. No one says FOMO. No one says FOMO. No one says, Bono either. They say Bono. Yeah, but some people say bono. Who? I mean, I did for years.
Starting point is 00:07:46 I called him Bono for ages. And then somebody went, his name's not Bono, it's Bono. And I was like, is it? I think it's Bono. Oh, God. I genuinely thought his name was Bono. I don't even remember what we were talking about it, but it felt like it was more interesting than this.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Sorry, it was me. I interjected with Bono. It doesn't matter. We've got to let this bit go. Okay. Have we started? Jell's like, yes, we've started. I've had a glass of wine and that's why this has gone rogue this whole conversation.
Starting point is 00:08:16 You had a big weekend, didn't you? Because it was your kid's birthday. Yes, they're nine. So that's big, isn't it? That's quite big. That's the last year of single figures and we feel sad about that. And then they're going to hit. Why?
Starting point is 00:08:29 Because then it'll be double figures and then they'll be adolescence and then they'll be like shouting at us and saying You're just wishing it away. I'm not wishing it more. That's the opposite of what I'm wishing. I'm going, I'm just trying to hang on to these moments. I know, but you can't. You can't. Do you hold their shoes and things like that?
Starting point is 00:08:45 Chloe does. That bit of material that you've got where you talk about how you've kept all their teeth. Yeah, yeah. And then you can actually, you can make a voodoo doll out of your kid. Yeah, absolutely. We can do the same. Bits of hair, tea. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:59 I find myself saying things like, this could be our last summer as before. it's really dramatic. And the kids don't know what to do with it. They're like, okay. I know, but there's something that's something in you as a parent where you're, let's hold this forever. I'm grieving something that hasn't happened yet.
Starting point is 00:09:19 They're nine. I know. This is our last year of single digits. I know, but it's like that, isn't it? You'd get all sentimental and like, mawkish about stuff that they're like completely, they don't care. But then the phone joins in,
Starting point is 00:09:33 sending you little videos. Do you remember when they were single digits? That's what the phone does now. The phone does that. The phone does that. The phone does that. But what it does, that spores montage is like lovely pictures of my children and then, eh, just me doing a self-tape.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Maybe I should keep those self-tapes in to remind me. So I've got a full, I've got a full 360 view of what my life is really like, oh look, we all went to the beach together, I had a love, eh, this is another self-tape you didn't get. I like, I like the sound is of a sort of
Starting point is 00:10:03 aggressive fart. This is me self-tape. That's how I feel my self-tapes arrive in the inbox as like an aggressive fart. People are like, oh, can't even look at that. Delete. Anyway, who are we talking to? We're talking to Aisha Hazarika today.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Oh, who I love. We love, we both love, and we've both known for many years. Many years. In her first iteration as a stand-up comedian, Yeah, I did a documentary for Radio 4 and narrated it and they'd put together loads of archive and stuff like that. Anyway, the point being is it made me very nostalgic for, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:46 when I started out. And the point I'm trying to get to is that that's when I met Aisha. I met Aisha through funny women and through that whole time, started around 2003, 2004, going up to Edinburgh with her and hanging out with her and being new acts together. Yeah, she's great. She is great. And also, what an absolutely incredible career that she's had. And this was so much fun to record because it was just the three of us hanging out and having a little mini reunion.
Starting point is 00:11:15 And so here it is. This is Kerry and I talking to Aisha Hazarika. Comedian, broadcaster, politics pundit, writer, presenter. It's Aisha Hazarika. Hello. Did we get all your credits right? Think just about. I mean, I'm probably, author, I was ever left stuff out probably?
Starting point is 00:11:45 Juggler. Juggler. My artist. You have got a very eclectic CV. But it's also, it's one of those things it's probably because I've not mastered any one of them. You just like have a go at a lot of different things in life. I'll have a go at that.
Starting point is 00:11:58 So yeah, so we met in the comedy world and the comedy circuit. But prior to that, you were already working in politics, weren't you? Yes, I was. I had this career. where I had started off as a, yeah, I was a civil servant. So I was working in different government departments. I was like a government press officer and I had this weird like double life.
Starting point is 00:12:17 So during the day I'd have like a little skirt suit and heels on and I'd be like traipsing around, being all very corporate and briefing the press. And then at night I'd sort of go and change into my like skanky jeans and a t-shirt and meet a carload of comedian somewhere at the end of the line and drive off to like Manchester to do a gig. And I was doing this like two, three times a week. So I had this kind of weird double life for a long time. Yeah, because your job was like, I mean, I was temping. So I did not care about my job at all.
Starting point is 00:12:43 But I remember you actually liked your job, but you were also doing stand-up. Like you were, because you were always really passionate about politics. So when you went back and you were like, actually, I'm going to invest in this. I'm going to do politics. It was like it made complete sense. But I don't know how you did that because it was so exhausting gigging and working. And everybody was only counting the days before they could give up their day. job to go full time in comedy but you were like I actually like my day job I did I had this
Starting point is 00:13:10 weird situation because you're totally right I love both the things I was doing I love doing stand up most of the time I loved I loved I love to stand up and I loved my day job but in a way I think that the fact that I liked them so both like them both so much was very energizing it was actually quite positive because so like my day job was really full on and it was pretty tough because you're you know a press officer dealing with loads of crap stuff was this when labour were in government as well this was when labour was was in government yeah yes it would have to really think back through the hours of I mean that feels like wow a different universe doesn't it I was just sort of thinking back to
Starting point is 00:13:46 sort of medieval times and things like that you know what I mean I was just like thinking wow wow wow did we have teeth back then yeah we did have a lot toothless we've always had smart phones like people just eating mud with their hands which is where we are post-Brexit now so you know what I mean that's we're ready for a Labour government again what was it? just had this sort of weird thing because I really enjoyed my day job but it was really full on and then going off and doing these gigs in the evening because it was so completely different and it was a totally different type of stress you know going on stage and trying to make people laugh yeah it was actually quite good because I never stressed about my work because I just didn't have the
Starting point is 00:14:21 capacity to and then if I had a bad gig which happened quite a lot to be fair I didn't really dwell on it because the next day at work brought all kinds of interesting new sort of stresses so I was super busy but I was kind of weirdly quite zen I was quite sort of stress free because the stress of the other thing kind of cancelled it out
Starting point is 00:14:41 what did become tricky was because I was in the civil service and they were very strict about stuff you know my line manager was really and I was starting to do more and more things so I was gigging more and I started to do like a few bits and pieces on TV and things
Starting point is 00:14:55 and then my line manager was sort of saying to me oh this is really not compatible because you're you know you're not meant to have any sort of public proof of. And that's when I kind of probably thought, right, if I'm going to give something up, I'm probably going to give up. But then I agree. Comedy or politics?
Starting point is 00:15:11 Politics. But then this great opportunity came along. Because that's the thing. In the end, it was the opportunity that dictated which way we went. I was amazed together. I got this weird job offer that came through just at the right time to go and work for a big record company, EMI. And the guy who ended up hiring me
Starting point is 00:15:27 because he loved the fact that I did stand up comedy, he thought was absolutely amazing. And of course, it was very artistic. and everyone had a side hustle and things. So that sort of gave me an out from the civil service. And I did, had this great two years. I was doing loads of gigging and started to do loads of TV and radio stuff.
Starting point is 00:15:43 And then he was working for EMI and it was amazing. I do remember that time. So where does you advising Milliband and all that fit into the... So that kind of came about around 2007, where Tony Blair stepped down, Gordon Brown became Prime Minister, and Harriet Harmon became deputy leader of the Labour Party. party and she was looking for advisors so I applied and got the job.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And that was after the EMI times. That was after the EMI. And what was so funny about that is everyone was like and I took a bit because EMI was really well paid. It was like a dream. It was like literally a dream gig. It was a kind of when I look back and I could pinch myself. I was like dead young on this great salary. It was such a great job. Like getting flown out to the Grammys first class and like going to New York to see gigs. Like it was nuts. It was a plus I had this boss that let me. I was stuck on the A1 are you showing. You're going on. Insta's crying on your way back from Alifax.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Always crying, Kerry. And it's like great time. And then I get this job to work for Harriet Harmon. I'd take a massive... All my friends were like, are you mad? You're taking a massive pay cut to go and work for somebody in the Labour Party. And also the condition of me going to work for her. She was like, you've got to stop all the stand-up.
Starting point is 00:16:49 She was like, you can't do... Wow, and you did it. You were like, yes. But you know who gave me really good advice about it? Because I was really torn, Ian Stone at our comedy. I remember having a really, like, I was really soul searching about what to do. And I remember speaking to Ian and I was like,
Starting point is 00:17:05 I've got to take a pay cut on Ian. I also remember Ian saying to me, do it. He was like it's not a life-changing amount of money. Yeah, it seems like a lot. It's not life-changing. And you will have an amazing experience working in politics. Like whatever happens, it would be an amazing experience.
Starting point is 00:17:18 And he was so right. Are you sure? I'm going to look at this first photo of you, which, by the way, firstly, I absolutely do. You really rocking the bearded bar. love there. So cute. You are so...
Starting point is 00:17:33 Free, the Deirdre Sheet One. So super cute. Tell us what we're looking at here. Those glasses are incredible. They're absolutely brilliant. It's a sort of Sue Pollard. Sue Pollard. Timmy Mallet.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It's a strong. It's a whole thing. I just like, it's just like, it's completely like ridiculous. So hang on, I'm just actually trying to... I'm actually... Hang on, let me just actually find the picture. I think it's like... Should we read that?
Starting point is 00:18:00 because it's obviously from a photograph. This photo from August 9th, 1991, features Aisha Hazareka from Drumpelier. Is that how you say it? Drumpellier, yeah. In Cotebridge, as she interviews Provost Edward Cairns in his office at the municipal buildings.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Aisha was looking to pursue a career in journalism and spent some time in the advisor's office. And the advertiser office. Oh, in the advertiser also. So this is the auspicious pages of the... Coatbridge advertiser. Wow, I see, got it. Courtbridge advertising. Courtbridge is just sort of like outside Glasgow where my dad had a surgery,
Starting point is 00:18:40 his doctor obviously. And I remember I was like desperate to be a journalist. Like I had two big ambitions in life, two big ambitions. One was to marry Rick Astley. Oh, that's a dream. How's that going? It's work in progress. You haven't shut the door on that, man.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Yeah, listen. Listen, it's still in play. It's never going to give him up. She did say, Never gonna give you up. You told me what to do, Rick. And that is in spite of a restraining order. That dream is still a lie,
Starting point is 00:19:12 Rick, if you're listening. Now his lyrics have really different present. It's like the Stalker's Manifesto. Night vision goggles. He's waiting. And the other ambition? The other was to be a journalist and basically to work in news.
Starting point is 00:19:32 That was that, they were the two things I wanted to do in life. And I remember saying to my mom, like, my mom was like, what, what do you want to do? And she's like, you can do really bad anything. She's like, Iisha, what is it doing? You can do anything, anything. And I was like, anything. And I was like, anything. And I was like, I want to be a journalist.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And she was like, no. You can be a doctor and lawyer or an accountant. Except now, you know, because of Rishishishanak or prime minister. Like, you know, because Ritysik has ruined it for loads of South Asian immigrant kids, like the bastard, you know what I mean? Like we're having a very hard time with our parents. If he can do it, you can do it. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:20:07 My mum's like, don't talk to me about Sajid Javid. What a loser. How old are you in that picture? God, let me just... 16? Can't be... Were you at school? What year were you born?
Starting point is 00:20:20 1975. Oh, you're the same as me. So you'd be like 16? Yeah. 15, 16. You look nine. It's the glasses. They're very...
Starting point is 00:20:27 You can't really see your face. Also, I'm so... blind the glasses are so magnified you can only see two bits of my eyes are like two tiny pinpricks basically I do I look like nine or you look 95 I can't figure out how do you get how do you even get into journalism do you just sort of keep applying for jobs or do you like have to write something or sell this opportunity in this photograph would have been a good call on you've art that's an in I was like I don't know if you've seen I'm kind of a big deal I mean I don't know Have we got that in a lanyard?
Starting point is 00:21:04 Put that in a lanyard and turn up to like Westminster. Hello? Kerry, you're obsessed with lanyard. Kerry thinks you can put anything in a lanyard and it'll get you through. It's access all areas, isn't it? I've got a BIP. Have you not seen my lanyard? Listen, I tried that with Rik Astley and it like, I game closed.
Starting point is 00:21:19 I came close. I think the thing with me, I take a long time to get there, but I do eventually get there. So, Rick, if you're listening, you can run, but you cannot. Please call Aisha on 555. She will find you. Don't resist anyone. We've only got a certain amount of time left, just why fight it? Now streaming on Paramount Plus.
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Starting point is 00:23:02 Yes. This is a great one. I love... What have you got on your... What have you got on your teeth? What have you got? I like that everyone's got one fruit, but you're like now, two on the teeth.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Well, of course, I've got my melons on, haven't I? Basically, this is a picture of, so these are some of my lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely dear friends. And we, so when I was growing up, I was like a massive square. I don't know if the deirdre barlow glasses gave it away. I don't know if that was like any kind of glue. So I was massive square.
Starting point is 00:23:30 I mean, growing up in my parents' house was like a frigging hostage situation. I mean I was hardly allowed out. The house was hardly allowed to do it. Really strict. Really strict. It was like an academic hostage situation. I was like chained to a radiator for like most of my life.
Starting point is 00:23:43 So then I fled the scene very quickly as soon as I could. To go to university and then I come down to London and just have this. I think I just had this absolute like fun explosion in my early 20s and like late teens and particularly the early 20s and I got to London. And I had these amazing like group of friends who are in this picture. And we, you know when you just look back on your youth and you're just like, I'm so glad I didn't waste any of it being productive or like trying to work hard. I just had a good time and I moved to London. Do you think that's because you had worked hard and you've done all that so you deserved and you knew you deserved. And I think I needed it for the development, you know, as a human being.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Yeah, sometimes you need to go through that stage so that then you can go, right, I've done that and now I'm going to focus on like you can spend your 30s going, right, what do I want to do next? what was, because also if your teens, like you're 13, 14, 15, 16, those, that's also a really important time for you to go out and be silly and get boyfriends and you weren't allowed and go to the cinema with mates or go to the pub when you're not allowed or whatever, do all of that stuff. So when you can't do that, because my mum was the same, she was super strict. So when I finally got to 18, I went berserk. But the time I lived home, I was just like, you know, shots and weed and flipping, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:58 like, who's going, you what? You're going to bed at like 2 o'clock in the moment. Loser. You know, like, absolute nightmare. Totally. Totally. And I couldn't understand what anyone would want to be in. What would you mean?
Starting point is 00:25:09 Why would you go to bed? Yeah. Like, what is that? I completely resonate with that. And you're so true about that 13. In fact, I mean, I was so square. Going to that day at the Coatbridge advertiser was like the best thing that had ever happened. Oh, God, I was hard breaking.
Starting point is 00:25:24 But then, so I come to London and make this amazing group of friends. And what was great about this picture and why I love this picture so much. is like we have these friends who are all like DJs and they have this club night called fruity and we just had like the... Hence the t-shirts. Hence why we all have t-shirts with a fruit on them and I of course have melons on my melons.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Of course because why not? Because it's funny. Because it's hilarious. I love how literally you are in your 20s. What's he called fruity? I got a t-s and fruit on it. But also I literally right had great tits at the time. I'm just going to be...
Starting point is 00:25:59 I'm just saying. I'm just saying they were cracking. I had a cracking rat. Melons, but I was a massive feminist also. If anyone looked at them, I'd be like, how dare? Even though I literally was like, look at my melons because I put melons. I was like, I can't believe that pervert all for the... That is the 90s though, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:26:14 Totally. We all accepted it. Yeah, absolutely. So who are these mates? Tell us about these mates in the picture. So here I've got my friend Catherine, who's actually the first person I met at university after my parents said goodbye and left me. And I think I was the scene for her.
Starting point is 00:26:28 And we were just like so great. grateful to have like sent our parents away. We are like best, best friends and we're still really good friends. And that's my friend, Jess. She's got a little strawberry. She's a great friend. She lives up in Northumberland now. And then my other friend is Emma wearing a pineapple.
Starting point is 00:26:43 And she is a great friend as well. I think she just moved to Brighton recently. Oh, great. You see, the thing, I mean, it's wonderful, isn't it? To meet your friends early in those moments in one's youth and go, right, we potentially could be friends for life. That's so chancy. Do I mean?
Starting point is 00:26:59 there's so much luck involved. So, you know, that's not everybody's story. And it's so lovely when it is, you know, when you get to luck out and meet some of your, what you know are going to be your friends for life in those early parts of your 20s. And also, what I love about this picture is we're also like kind of happy and youthful and you do all look really happy. Compared to people that age now, they're having a really hard time and we were just able to like live like the high life. Totally. Yeah. No, you're absolutely right. We could have like, have an amazing weekend on like 20 quid. Yeah, no, completely.
Starting point is 00:27:31 The 90s, you know, I was talking about, we do to end up talking about the 90s a lot. That is, I know, we're, that's right. You're the age we're not. But they're what, you, you're right. You could go out and have a very good time and feel fairly safe. Yeah. Now, I get anxious about kids being safe and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:27:45 And I mean, I'd just go out with my mate. I wouldn't give it a second thought. I don't think, I don't know if things are less safe now. I just think because we're, you know, older, we have more fear. Like when I was younger, I never thought, I never thought about going late at night, walking through us.
Starting point is 00:27:58 The night bus home on my own. See me. Yeah. Boring the fuck out of people. All right, babe! No, I never did that. That's obnoxious. That's just weird.
Starting point is 00:28:08 So, why you were by yourself on the night bus? Fair enough. And did you, so your mum wouldn't have had a clue that the minute you left home and you were free, you were just not living the life that she didn't expect you to live. I think they did know and they were horrified. In fact, while I was looking for the photos, I was rummaging through a box last night. I found this letter that my dad wrote me this sort of, epic letter from like 1999 about how disappointed he was in me and about because I think my finances
Starting point is 00:28:35 were all over the place at this point and he was like I can't believe we've never led an extravagant life and look at you now so I think they were quite horrified because you know they're culturally you know like immigrant parents they were like my mum's the same she just find it really hard my mom was like if you earn a hundred pounds you save what can you afford I'll go I can't afford any bit you save five pounds my mom that was always my mom was like you always say You never spend to the last penny. Not only was I spent into the last penny. I spent it to the last penny.
Starting point is 00:29:04 It was going into my overdraft. I had a credit card. I was like, going berserk. My mum was like, you don't spend money you don't have. That's insane. And you always, always, always have money aside in case of an emergency. And I never, ever, ever. Luser.
Starting point is 00:29:18 But also they are a different generation. My mom was like, you know, this is insane for you to not have money. Not only not have money, but have minus money. I know. Okay, so I should talk us through this next. Talking of hedonism and tits. So this is a day that will forever be like emblazoned in my mind. Because at this point in my life, right, a number of things are going on. I'm working for the Labour Party. I'm working for Harriet Harmon and Ed Miliband. It's International Women's Day, which is a day close to my heart. And I remember, I was thinking, what am I going to do with my life? So at this point,
Starting point is 00:29:58 we're in the run-up to the general election. So there's a general election happening in May. This is March time. And at this point, I'm sort of thinking, right, what's going to happen after the general election? And I of course, I was hoping that Labour was going to win the general election. But of course, I had a kind of slight niggily, but I was trying to not listen to the niggily.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Maybe they're not going to win the election. We all were. We ignore those niggles now. We just like, ignore it. And I do remember just having a bit of a sort of like moment of anxiety about like, what am I going to do with my life and what if we don't win the general election? Like, what's going to happen and everything? And I think I was, I think that thing of having been a performer and then shutting all of that
Starting point is 00:30:39 off to be a backroom person, you know, as an advisor. And I had liked the job for a long time. But I was definitely feeling that sort of the big show off was like trying to get out again. I could like feel the sort of I want to be in the limelight. I want to be doing this for myself. So I had this kind of weird day where I was with Harriet Harmon on this infamous like PR disaster, which was such a disaster. It did actually provide me with a brilliant, like, comedy show, The Pink Bus.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Do you remember the Pink Bus? Oh, God, yes. The Pink Bus. Who decided that? Let's not go into that. Fair enough. Let's not go into that. All right, for people listening, just to recap the Pink Bus, because...
Starting point is 00:31:22 The Pink Bus is absolute disaster, but the intention was very good. Basically, the entire election campaign and Politbuy, Politics is basically run by lots of boys in suits. Basically politics is run by lots of men in their 40s and 50s. And then they have like baby men who are advisors in their suits who kind of decide everything. And all these boys look the same and sound the same. They're all called Bob, Tom or Simon.
Starting point is 00:31:43 And that's how politics works basically. That's a bit of insight, isn't it? That is like a total thing. So like any women's issues are like, uh, women's issues. So like... Let's get a pink bus out. But the thing was like,
Starting point is 00:31:57 so we, ended up having this situation. We're like, you know, we're trying to sort of have these conversations about having a serious conversations about childcare or kind of care for the elderly or, you know, all this kind of stuff. And we were just getting nowhere. So we got to the stage where they sort of kind of ended up kind of patronising Harriet Harmon, who I worked for and she was a very, very big feminist, brilliant, brilliant woman, great politician, great feminist.
Starting point is 00:32:20 And they said, right, you can have a, you can have your own tour. But part of that was to sort of get her out the way because she was like nagging everybody about like child and all these boring women's things. So they were like, we'll give her our own tour, put her on a, put her on a bus. And then, to be fair, she did come up with the, I think we thought this, I think this point we were so,
Starting point is 00:32:39 you know when you slightly lose your mind when you're kind of like, hitting your head up against a brick wall going, women's issues, child care, women's issues, and then she just had this moment of matter, she was like, let's make it pink! Oh no! And everybody was like, really?
Starting point is 00:32:54 And she's like, yes, it'll be a talking point. That, she was correct. It was a talking point. I think there was some method to her madness because I think she kind of knew it was going to be so controversial it being pink that people would be talking about it whereas if we had just said,
Starting point is 00:33:07 we're doing a tour to talk about childcare, boring, you know what I mean? It ended up, the controversy around it ended up actually being quite a talking point and we went all around the country in this pink bus and actually we had the most brilliant conversations with women up and down the country
Starting point is 00:33:23 about stuff that they really cared about. Childcare, zero hours, contracts, you know, Breast's, at schools, you know, stuff which is really important, but never really gets into the mainstream of politics. And mainly because the men pulling the manifesto are so young and clueless. I mean, I've got tights older than half the boys that were like writing the manifesto. But anyway, I remember being on the, we were on the pink bus and we went up to Brent that day. And we walked into this big room.
Starting point is 00:33:50 And I was with like Harriet Harmon, Diane Abba, Rachel Reeves, all these kind of political women. And I was kind of helping organise it all. and I remember walking into this room and I sort of tripped on something I twisted my ankle and like fell on the floor right so I'm lying on the ground at sort of Brink Community Centre and I'm watching all these senior politicians
Starting point is 00:34:11 just basically walk all over she's not like I'm just like and I just kind of lay there on the floor the help's fallen over it was literally like that I think Diana Abbott glanced down at me and she's just going to Harry Harriet didn't even notice it was manned women done.
Starting point is 00:34:29 People were standing on my face. I've got like heel prints on my face at this point. It's just, and I just lay there and I thought... Is that what it's like to be an advisor? They're like, they literally don't give a shit about you. And I just thought, I think I can do better than this. The only way it is up. So anyway, so that's thing.
Starting point is 00:34:46 And then in the evening, with my twisted ankle, I went to this big thing at the Women of the World Festival. And this woman, Jude Kelly organises it. Amazing woman. She's like the artistic. She was the artistic director. director of the South Bank Centre and watched this amazing talk she was doing with Caitlin Moran, I think Celacrisi was there, all these great women.
Starting point is 00:35:03 And anyway, afterwards, we went to this sort of like little after-party and I was really quite, you know, stressed out about things and that moment where I lay on the ground getting trampled on by loads of female MPs mate. I was like, I was having a real, like, moment in my life. And Jude Kelly was chatting to me and she was like, you used to be a brilliant comedian. She was like, I saw you when you did comedy, you were great. And she's like, you've got to start doing that again. And I was like, I can't.
Starting point is 00:35:27 I haven't done it for such long time. I just couldn't. Those days are over for me. I'm a nobody now. I'm just a woman that lies on the floor that gets trampled on by Harry Arman and Diana. That is who I'm a dormant. Literally I'm a dormant.
Starting point is 00:35:39 And Jude Kelly goes to me, right, I'm going to make you a bet and you've got to sign up the bet now. If you lose the general election in 2015, you've got to do a stand-up show about your time in politics and about all these men that you have to deal with all the time. You've got to tell the truth about what it's like being a woman in politics. And I was like, Jude, I'll shake your hand because there's no way we're going to win, lose the 2015 general election
Starting point is 00:36:02 because, and I'm going to be working for Ed Miliband, and I'm going to be in government, I'm going to be leading this great, I was going to lead an arts council based in Downing Street. It was going to be, you're all going to be in. It was going to be amazing. God, it's like sliding doors. It is like sliding doors. It really is.
Starting point is 00:36:17 A bloody bacon sandwich. And what did happen? Bloody bacon sandwich. He's a Jew. He shouldn't even been eating it. That's a annoying thing. Anyway, let's move on. So she shoot my hand and I remember
Starting point is 00:36:28 Caitlin Moran was there that night and got on like an absent house and I'm a real fan of hers and I remember chatting to her and she was just like you've got to sort of do it and you've got to be sort of brave and you know you've got to sort of... And I just felt this was like... Because I love Katlin, I'm such a fan of hers.
Starting point is 00:36:45 And anyway, she basically was like do you want to see my special International Day bra? I was like, yes. I mean, yes. She's ripped up in her Lumberjack shirt And she's wearing this bra I mean this is a brilliant photo It's so good
Starting point is 00:37:01 Her tits have got eyes So I mean And so they should I mean were they drawn on before or afterwards That's what I want to know I'm now going to draw eyes on all my bras That is brilliant So funny
Starting point is 00:37:15 So great And I just ended up getting really drunk Catalan Moran And ending up sort of grabbing her By her boob And But it's a great picture. You just both look like warriors.
Starting point is 00:37:27 We look wild. Yeah, you do look wild. You look like women at the end of a very long day. You look like women at the end of long Labour government. Yeah. And spoiler alert, Labour lost. And you did write the show. And you did take it to Edinburgh and you took it to Soho Theater.
Starting point is 00:37:45 And did you enjoy that going back to comedy? How did it feel going back to comedy? So I was so nervous about it at the beginning. So, no. I mean, actually, One of the other pictures that I was going to choose was like something from sort of doing stand-up. But this is a good sort of segue into that. I just loved it.
Starting point is 00:38:00 I was so nervous. And Jude Kelly was amazing. So she let me sort of kind of perform it at the Women of the World Festival. And I did sort of a couple of work in progress and things. And then, yeah, just started workshopping it more. And then, yeah, did it. And it, what year was that that you took it up? So I did a mini run called Tales from the Pink Bus, which I did in 2016.
Starting point is 00:38:22 I feel like you were up there in 2018 I was yeah then I took it again I modified it and turned it into a much bigger show called State of the Nation and then I did like a full run Yeah yeah because I remember you being up in 2018 Because I'm sure we went out for a drink or something
Starting point is 00:38:38 We did we did And it was great because that it was so nice to do that show Because it was also really nice to do a full hour Like you know when you haven't done that before And to do something which I felt I mean I sound very Megan and Harry felt Will you speak your truth It was like a stand-up show which was funny.
Starting point is 00:38:54 It was really political, but also I kind of just said stuff I really wanted to see. And for a lot of women who work in politics, they absolutely, like I had so many people, from all different political parties, women who were associated politics in any way were just like, this is the most accurate thing I've heard about what's like being a woman in politics.
Starting point is 00:39:12 So I loved it and I won a little award for it. I was dead proud of it. Yeah, absolutely. So I did like a sort of dip my toe in the water in like 2016. then developed into like a full show that I could tour in 2017 called State of the Nation. And on the day that I was sort of starting the tour, I was at the Soho Theatre and my agent sort of gave me,
Starting point is 00:39:34 you know, some quite good, but you sort of get, not a bit of a bit of a ride, gave me a bit of telling off saying, listen, you got really hunkered down. Today's like the first day of your show, don't twat around on Twitter, just focus on your show, turn your phone off and just focus on your show. So I was like, good advice.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Put my phone away. literally just focused on my show for like five hours. Turned my phone on about 20 calls for my age. Have you seen the news? Have you seen the news? Theresa May just called to snap general election. Oh my God. And my entire opening section had been like, well, there's never going to be a general election.
Starting point is 00:40:06 So I was like, shit! And literally had to do that thing where you have to completely... And you know, the beginning of your show is really important because you've sort of, you've got the rhythm of it. Yeah, it sets up the whole place. Oh, it was... And it sets you up to feel like safe. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:22 So that you're confident Exactly the right word You know And the audience feel safe Because if that bit doesn't work Then they're like The whole time you're like You're catching up with yourself
Starting point is 00:40:30 Aren't you? So she needs this agent right If you've got a client Who's a topical Bundit comedian Never turn your phone off Ever! Don't turn your phone off to work
Starting point is 00:40:42 at your audio show Never Someone will call a snub election It was like that bloody walking holiday Honestly Honestly We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe, but this time, why not look a little further?
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Starting point is 00:41:44 slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. This other picture, are you being interviewed? this photograph. Ah, right. So this one is a, um, right, so this is a sort of sentimental kind of moment. So I have spoken about my, my dad who I've not often always had the easiest of relationships with and he's quite strict and my parents are quite strict. But this is a really, really nice moment. When my dad first came to this country back in the day like in the late 60s, he ended up in Liverpool and he was totally
Starting point is 00:42:22 bless him naive like he'd never been out of even his region and area in India let alone you know getting on a plane and coming abroad and this is when the NHS was inviting doctors and all around the world to come and work in in hospitals and he ended up in Liverpool of all places bless him he did get two job offers he got one in LA they got one in Liverpool wow how did he choose Liverpool I know what does he say about that so obviously this is pre-google D so he did some
Starting point is 00:42:51 he did some exploring with his mates he looked at a map he basically said to his friends look at California and go nah yes that's basically what I'm so he's putting to his friends about this and they were like he was like Liverpool California they were like California it's hot it's hot in India big deal they were like Liverpool
Starting point is 00:43:08 the Beatles wow so basically my dad ends up that's why we ended up here so he ended up in Liverpool and he came over with his friend Aftab and the two of them came over and they were being doctors in this hospital on the Whirl called Clatterbridge Hospital and they had a really tough time there you know they got to Liverpool and it was quite a cold climate in every sense you know reason cold a lot of people
Starting point is 00:43:34 not happy having all these overseas doctors coming a lot of patients quite racist and didn't want them you know to sort of even touch them or it's pretty pretty tough and my dad like really missed his family really, really missed his family and probably had moments thinking, what on earth have I done coming here? And also just didn't really know a lot of the kind of cultural codes in this country. So in India, people eat with their hands a lot.
Starting point is 00:43:57 So didn't really know how to even use like cutlery. And of course, people were really looking down on him and his friends because they didn't know how to use, all these kind of things, right? And in his ward, the sister of the ward, the kind of lead nurse was this woman called Audrey. and she, I think one day find my dad like having a bit of a cry
Starting point is 00:44:18 or just feeling quite kind of lonely and missing his mum and dad and she was like, why do you come around to my house for Sunday lunch? And he'd of course never been, had a Sunday lunch in his life. So he went to her house in Liverpool
Starting point is 00:44:30 and she became this amazing kind of mother figure to him. She totally, totally sort of took him in and looked after him and his friend Aftab. and was like the absolute antithesis to the people who were being horrible and hostile. She was this incredibly kind, articulate, warm, just so, so, so kind. And she taught things like, she taught my dad and after how to like use cut, like use knife and fork.
Starting point is 00:45:02 They had their first sort of Christmas dinner there. They had their first sort of Sunday lunch there. I think they had their first pint there as well, like all these kind of things. And we have ended up having this really love. lovely enduring friendship with her and her kids and their grandkids as well. So they've sort of became like totally. Totally. They are totally family. And so I wanted to make this, because I thought it was just a really lovely story.
Starting point is 00:45:31 It's a really lovely story. Because you hear so much negativity about how people are treated. And I wanted to do something that showed that not every, that narrative. The other Britain. The other Britain. And I think sometimes we've got to talk. that Britain up, not just not to erase the bad stuff
Starting point is 00:45:47 or to try and hide the bad stuff but actually to show the number of people who have good in their heart is mighty in this country and we're not some kind of minority we're not some do-gooding out of touch minority. That's actually what a lot of people have done. I mean I really feel like it is a majority
Starting point is 00:46:03 and I think sometimes in the media do like to really lean into like the negative stories and lean into the things that are wrong with the country or wrong with society And also I think in terms of immigration, there is so much negativity about immigration, not just from the media,
Starting point is 00:46:20 but also I think in politics at the moment, it's a real fear of being positive or saying anything positive about it and what's been good about it. And that a lot of people in this country like the fact that this is an island that is inhabited by many, many immigrants of which my mum was one and your parents.
Starting point is 00:46:34 It's an island of immigrants. Well, of course, because it's an island. It can only ever be immigrants. It's all we are. You know, we're not, we can't close our borders because we're a bloody island. No, absolutely. You know, those stories, that human story isn't about...
Starting point is 00:46:47 They're so important. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, Audrey used the word, because I said, I think I asked her a sort of question saying, or I said something like, it was so lovely that you were so kind to my dad. And she said, it wasn't about kindness, it was about friendship. It was where your dad was my friend. They were mates, they got on.
Starting point is 00:47:03 And I thought that was so lovely because it was like, no, I'm not doing charity work here. He's my friend. They were my friends. We were friends. And that's a friendship. And that's what a lot of people want when they come to. another country. And it made me feel really like grateful and full of admiration for my parents.
Starting point is 00:47:19 And it made me kind of see them in a different light because, you know, they were really brave. I mean, I actually don't think I could be as brave as they were. I think I'd really struggle to go and just start over somewhere new. I couldn't do it. That's the thing, isn't it? It's that all these conversations around immigration and stuff like that. You can just go that just the bravery of it is, you know, what is often not included in that
Starting point is 00:47:39 discourse really. No, and I think, you know, the only thing you can do is. is when you know with our kids and you know with the new generation is to hope that you know that people will that that attitude will you know of acceptance and inclusion and friendship and friendship. Exactly. And your journalism instincts that were there all along. There's a story and I want to tell it and you made that happen.
Starting point is 00:48:03 So that is. She Lois Lane the shit out of that. I'm not going to say. I mean I don't even know what to say. only got the first four and then I got this one I was like wow I saw this picture this is the first picture I saw I went what the actual fuck okay I'm not I'm not going to say anything about this photo I just want you I should to talk us through what are we looking at here we're looking at me sitting next to a very handsome young red-headed chap who um is also a
Starting point is 00:48:39 recent member of the royal family sometimes he's in sometimes he's out he's spare is And his nickname is Hazer, as is my nickname. So this is very much when Hazer met Hazer. The two Hazers. Right, let's say, it's Prince, it's Prince Harry. What's the context of this? What's going on? So weird.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Is this this morning or something? I knew, because I saw you recently the night at Christmas and you were telling me about you and Hazer. Me, Hazer. So, I was doing quite a lot of punditry around. the time of Megan Markle in my view
Starting point is 00:49:23 getting an absolute kicking from the British press and the palace treating her really terribly and I was absolutely disgusted by this not because I'm a massive fan of the Royal Family
Starting point is 00:49:38 by the way I just thought this is nuts right this is an incredible moment for the Royal Family having like the first non-white person in the modern times of the Royal Family
Starting point is 00:49:49 coming into the royal family. This is a moment where the royal family can kind of show modern Britain that it's actually a tiny bit more reflective and what happens... And then what happened? She gets treated absolutely appallingly and basically
Starting point is 00:50:02 we have the first person of African heritage in the royal family and we basically hand her out of the country. I mean that's basically what happened. So I... That's why it was just... I found it very upsetting and what I sort of admired
Starting point is 00:50:17 about her and Prince Harry is that they didn't just take it. Like, and I know myself from being in situations where I've probably like been treated with sort of discrimination but I've kind of, and I say this openly
Starting point is 00:50:29 and with some shame, I kind of just took it because you know, you're trying to make your way in the world and you sort of think, God, you know, this person's too powerful for me to make a fuss about
Starting point is 00:50:38 and they were like, no, we're actually making a stand about this and it's not okay to speak to her like this. Also, they're in a, I mean, for him certainly, in a position of extreme high status power. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:53 You know, the difference being between, you're not just any one of us that, like you saying that circumstance, well, it's, it's, you've got more to lose. Yeah, yeah. Harry's in a very different position. And he took it. And they, you know, they ended up,
Starting point is 00:51:08 they did have a lot to lose and, you know, some people could argue they, they have lost because they've been sort of kicked out. But anyway, at the time, I was doing a lot of battle with a certain peer, Morgan on Good Morning Britain's. I don't even know who this guy is.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Who's that? I don't know. I've heard of him. He's Morgan. So he, you mentioned Twitter. Like, he was like giving it the big one on Twitter all the time. And I think I, I think I went for him. And he absolutely went for me back.
Starting point is 00:51:37 And I absolutely went back for him. Good for you. And then he messaged me publicly. Messaged me going, right, fine. If you got the balls, come on Good Morning Britain tomorrow. And I was like, fine. And then his team got in touch. Just to talk about Megan.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Just about the situation. Good for you, Aisha. So I went on and just like we had like the mother of all like ding-dongs. How was that? What was that like? It was like being in a boxing match. I don't think I've ever. Because I'm very, I always try and stay very calm.
Starting point is 00:52:09 I very, really get very, very, very hit up. Normally I can use humour to diffuse the situation or, you know, I never try and get emotional. Like that's a big thing. And did you get emotional? Totally. Totally. I, I just, he, he, he just, it's the kind of person who's a bully. He's a bully. And he sort of does know how to kind of press the buttons. But also I just felt like, no way. I just feel like this is, you know, I'm kind of feeling probably a tiny bit of what she's feeling right now. And it's not okay. And it's also, anyway, we just absolutely went for each other. And this happened quite a few times. I think I got invited on quite a few times. We absolutely. like, and I mean properly, properly, properly lost it with each other. Wow.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Like, properly, properly lost to each other. What, on, on, on, like, you know, live on air or back? Yeah, like on air, like, properly, like, properly, like, and it got personal, it got... I think it got personal, I think it got personal both, like, really quite personal. And when you talk, I mean, just out of just sheer curiosity about the, like, were you talking over each other, like,
Starting point is 00:53:12 Oh, yeah, we were in debate? We were, like, we're basically just screaming at each other and, you know, and, how was that, how was that even managed? How did that sort of debate kind of like Well they love it I mean look I mean TV at that point as well Like loves everything
Starting point is 00:53:25 You know big confrontation And I don't really like doing that kind of thing But it's making my face hot Listening to it I feel I feel itchy I don't know how you did this Anyway Some time passes whatever
Starting point is 00:53:37 And then I get this phone call From basically I kind of get a contact through a friend And saying I think Prince Harry's office wants to reach out for you and I was like, oh, that's ridiculous. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:50 And then somebody sort of rings me from Prince Harry's office, and I was like, this is clearly a spoof. And, because, you know, I was thinking, you've got to be really careful, right? Because people do prank people and stuff like that. Get, and he's, so he is, it's the first trip back from Canada. Everything's very heated because they've just left.
Starting point is 00:54:07 So they haven't actually officially left the raw family at this stage. This is all when it's very raw. Very raw. It's all in the process of kind of like they're breaking up. And he was coming over to the UK not with her by himself his first trip back and he was
Starting point is 00:54:21 he is part of this group called Travellist which is all about doing more ethical travelling and carbon neutral and sustainability and stuff like that and then his office say to me
Starting point is 00:54:32 like he's a great admirer of yours and would you host this conference with him what? Yeah so I'm thinking this is a wee bit weird I still think it's a prance I get my agents to sort of look into it and do all the due diligence
Starting point is 00:54:46 they come back and they're like you know it is actually like Prince Harry and I'm like what what? So go up to Edinburgh for this conference and I you know and you know we've all done these kind of corporate gigs and I was like you know
Starting point is 00:55:01 did all my research and everything like that and I thought what I'll just do is I'll see him on stage and you know we'll meet on stage and I'll be you know and then they were like oh no no no you I'm getting ready to you know the day starts I don't know like 11 or something and it's like nine or something we've just done a a tech rehearsal and they're like
Starting point is 00:55:18 now you're going to go and meet print time like what? And they're like yeah no no he really wants to he wants to he wants to meet you and I was thinking it'll be like a two minute grip and grin you know get a photograph he'll be like thanks ever so much so walk into this room and I don't know what to do like in terms of curtseeing or I do this really sort of like arthritic Kurtz saying
Starting point is 00:55:39 he did in his trust I wouldn't know what was that don't bother Don't bother Liz What was that? She looks like she's got Ricky She looks like she was melting So I do one of those
Starting point is 00:55:55 And what's so interesting It's like Because I just have no idea What to do around to kind of And he just goes Aisha and puts it up It just gives me The biggest hug ever
Starting point is 00:56:05 Oh wow So surreal You know when someone is so warm You know the thing I was about friendship Like I suddenly just felt like I'd known him for ages And he went
Starting point is 00:56:13 He was like Don't be ridiculous Come here And just gave me that Massive and I can't wait to see this episode of the Crown. Completely. I know amazing.
Starting point is 00:56:24 This is going to be great. It's going to be his own spin-off. It's been a spin-off and it hasn't met hazard. And then he said to you. Well then it's like he said to his team that actually just, you know, just sort of leave us. And we just had this app. I can't, of course, disclose everything that was said. But we did have this very, very, very long conversation where he actually said to me
Starting point is 00:56:45 a lot of the stuff that did come out in this. doc, you know, and what he said publicly now in the documentary, in the book. And he obviously he had seen all the, you know, rounds that I had done with Piers Morgan. And I think he also was basically just saying, you know, he did say thank you so much for actually, you know, well, there's not many people that would have done his back. And he said like, you know, it's, you know, it's, it's been a really unpleasant, you know, it was an unpleasant, really unpleasant thing for them to do. I know what it's like when the press turn on you've
Starting point is 00:57:20 seen it with politicians and I think it kept his readings very high and things like that. But you are brave, Aisha. I mean that is amazing to go in the ring. Several rounds with someone who's got a really bizarre value system. I mean, it's just like, that's what's
Starting point is 00:57:36 scary and that's why my face gets hot when I hear about this story is because if someone's as amoral seemingly as him, he doesn't care. He'll punch above and low the belt. He'll take blows where he shouldn't be taking them. And I think that's what makes me terrified. Like, people would compare it to say stand up or whatever, but there are rules. And I never feel unsafe. But in that situation, I couldn't account for how I'd be.
Starting point is 00:58:01 I'd be like, I could cry, I could punch, I could, anything could happen, you know, and you held yourself and you went in that arena and you took on that bully. And I think that's so admirable. There are shots of me where I just look like, I don't even look humor, like a snarling beast You should have got a sort of beast eyebrow Fuck you I don't think I
Starting point is 00:58:22 At one point I say something so rude to him Like he says something like About we're talking about We're talking about people slugging off How Megan is holding her bump Yeah When you're getting to bodies
Starting point is 00:58:32 And then I think I see something like Well you look like you're about your second trimester You're sorry I don't know That's funny That's right now Are you looking your penis I'm like
Starting point is 00:58:43 After I'm like why did I say that I'd be terrified of that I wouldn't know what I could say. In fact, but at least, and also you gave him a put down and there were no F-bombs in there. I'd be like, oh fuck, off you brick. I'd have just swear, I swore rather, I'd have just been nasty. I couldn't have been able to throw a cap at him.
Starting point is 00:59:00 But then afterwards, loads of people were like, I think some, like, some tabloid did the thing about how I had fat shamed Pierce Morgan and the comments on these guys, Rich coming from her, the salad dodger. That was all right from my parents. That's all to my mum and dad, but I was just like, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I was like harsh but fair, you know, we're going to think. Yeah, so it became something, yeah. It ceased to be a sort of a cerebral debate. Oh, Aisha. It's just been brilliant. It's been a delight. Thank you so much for sharing all those stories. I've just had such a lovely time.
Starting point is 00:59:29 I've had like, literally whirling up. I just had the nicest time. Nice time ever. This is, well, people have been saying for years, the only way you get to have these moments is to have a podcast and then you need them. Otherwise, it's true. We won't see each other for another like 10 years. Well, that was absolutely bloody delightful.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Yeah, it's always fun to have Aisha in your company. And if you want to hear more from Aisha, she's got a show on Times Radio on a Saturday evening, so check that out. She pops up on telly all the time. She's just a wanted in-demand lady. She is. And also, I know that she's not doing any to stand up at the moment, but I have no doubt that she'll do another one-woman show again at some point. She can't keep away. She can't keep away.
Starting point is 01:00:15 No. If you enjoyed it, why don't you tell your friends? That's what people say. They go, oh, I'm listening to a new podcast. Do they say that to you? They say that to me. Oh, I'm listening to a new podcast. And I go, go on then, tell me.
Starting point is 01:00:28 And people put it in their notes, don't they? I've got like a WhatsApp group of recommendations where people are constantly telling me podcasts to listen to. Well, if you have, other people must have. Exactly. So they need to be putting this one in those groups. I've recommended this podcast to them on more than one occasion. So,
Starting point is 01:00:45 um, Yeah, but you're not your, you're, you're, you're a bias, aren't you? No,
Starting point is 01:00:51 I've got, I've, absolutely, this is a completely unbiased. Hey guys, just out of nowhere, here's a podcast I recommend to you guys,
Starting point is 01:00:58 my one. Guys, I don't know if you've heard of these two women, but I would highly recommend that you're listening to them. They have very cerebral chats about Oliver Boners.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Don't confuse this with self-promotion. It's just, I'm just trying to inform you about great I think. It's a recommendation. You're welcome. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 01:01:39 That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 01:02:02 Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.

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