Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E19: Dolly Alderton

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

"The girls I was living with kept moving out... I was like the one remaining Sugar Babe..." The uber talented, wonderful and hilarious Dolly Alderton brings in an array of stories and photos to talk about. Photo 01 - Photobooth with mum Photo 02 - Girls flatshare Photo 03 - Girls picnic Photo 04 - First proper home Photo 05 - Blue moon Photo 06 - DOLLY'S BRILLIANT BRAND NEW BOOK!!!! Jen and I loved it and highly recommend you buy it. Out TOMORROW!!! (9th Sept 2023) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Material-Dolly-Alderton/dp/0241523664/ref=asc_df_0241523664/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=649719418960&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13798314424452351529&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007097&hvtargid=pla-1984710658688&psc=1&th=1&psc=1 PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it the matcha or am I this energized from scoring three Sephora holiday gift sets? Definitely the sets. Full size and minis bundled together? What a steal. And that packaging? So cute. It practically wraps itself. And I know I should be giving them away, but I'm keeping the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. I don't blame you. The best holiday beauty sets are only at Sephora. Gift sets from Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way and more are going fast.

Get full-sized favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go.

Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page.

So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Wow, every time. Every single time. You made an assumption. that that was being recorded, it wasn't. I know. So hence your...

Have we started? Have we started? Have we started? Have we started? You should start your stand-up. Are we started? Yeah, you're standing on stage with the microphone. Have we started?

Have we started? Listen, when I asked have we started in that last record, which wasn't this record, but a previous record, Joel said, no, we haven't started. Fine. And you had thought we started? And then had you thought that we'd started, we wouldn't have, we hadn't started. and then you'd have got into something and it was like we haven't even started.

Well, I think I'm coming at it from the, just record everything, even the gossip, even the naughty shit and then just cut it out. You can't do that. I mean, post the COVID inquiry, you can do what the fuck you like. We're not calling anyone a fuck pig, aren't we? I mean, like, I don't know.

If anyone caught into our WhatsApp. Yeah. Our WhatsApp went very rogue yesterday. I was amazed at your tolerance, Joel, because I started sending you right move links. Well that's classic you, isn't it? I was like, yeah. It's like, send me information about where you went on holiday last year.

Where was that place you went on holiday? Send me the link. Or I've just been on right move. And a little one gone right move. What do you think about this flat? Then you really stuck up in it. Why? Because you were like, well, there's got to be a catch.

Or something. Like you and my brother, my brother, I rang my brother quite excited, sent him the same link. I was like, look at this flat. Look at this flat. In Brighton is so cheap. And then he rang me back and went, What's going on with you? He went, what is going on?

He said, this is, I don't understand what's happening. And you know when you get excited about a thing that arguably is never going to happen? Sure. But you're having a good time. And then your friend just comes along and goes, no, there's got to be a catch. You're delusional, what's going on?

I didn't say there's going to be a catch. You said something about a wind, like the wind blowing the roof off? No, I said, be careful about buying the roof off. and a flat and a block. Because the roof will blow off. That was what you said. I didn't say the roof will blow off. I said what you'll often find

because you will then be in charge of like the, it's not like when you have a flat and the council is the freeholder and then if the roof blows off. Not saying the roof will blow off. No, I understand that, but thousands of people live in blocks, Jen.

They're saying that they give bills. They get really big bills. Oh, the lift's gone. Oh, that's 40 grand. There you go. So it doesn't seem so cheap now, doesn't it? What was that noise? Uh, uh, uh, the leaking roof.

How much is that 60? $25 grand times by 300 people. You blundered into some maths there, haven't you? Yeah, it's problematic when I didn't have to do any kind of arithmetic. My point, it still stands. I know. I've got friends that, they've been in situations where they've bought a flat in a block, boom, all of a sudden, oh, the 40 grand bill. Me and Ben used to live in a block.

We used to live in a block, and you all chip in, that's part of living in a block. That is part of it. It's never like, oh, it's going to be 600 quid. It's like, oh, life's not free, babe. Life's not free. Someone's got to pay for the roof. It was really cheap. It had an amazing CV. I'm just saying it might be a false economy.

And I was really excited. And I... I'm just saying, think about the bigger picture. Yeah, no, fair enough, but you didn't read the room. And I was in a really good mood. No, but did you see what I put at the end? I went, but it is really cheap. You did a turd and then a turd and then a turd and then a turd and then went, don't listen to me though.

Don't listen to me, it is really cheap. Yeah. No more at the end. What, is that you being upbeat, is it? Yeah. Just at the end I went, but it is really cheap. Yeah, yeah. I did feel like I had put a pin in your...

I really shut on all of it. Yeah. At the afterwards, I thought, maybe I could put like winky face, smiley face, thumbs up. Oh yeah, but I don't buy those emojis from you. I just think you're being ironic. Top hat, ocean, clown face. But well done, Joel, because you didn't speak.

I think, Jolene, he skims through that clap and then just gets to the point, right? Has anyone asked me a question about anything? No, I don't need to read this. This is not related to the podcast. Arguably, I could have just sent it to you directly, but we were already talking about other stuff. And then I was like, listen, Jen, it was the equivalent of this.

Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, look at this flat. Yeah, but if you thought about the roof, that would be 60 grand. WhatsApp groups are mad. They're just mad. Can you imagine someone reading them out as a piece of theatre, which actually the COVID inquiry sort of is becoming. But they're just mad. I know. What's your favourite WhatsApp group?

Is it ours? Please say it's ours. You've got a thing about gangs. Oh, completely. You've got a thing about gangs. But what, the whole world's in a gang and I'm not in the gang? You think that I'm in a gang, I'm not in a gang. You're always like, oh yeah, you're in a gang, you're in this gang with these people.

I'm like, what are you talking about? You just saw me in a bar in Edinburgh with them having a beer once and now I'm in a gang. You think, oh, no one ever wanted me to be in a gang. Do you think it's like something I should take up with a therapist? Yeah. Stop talking to me about not being in a gang. None of us are in a gang. We're mid-aged women.

What sort of gang do you? The start a gang. The hot flush gang. The Mardi bitches gang. The Reid, the room gang. I don't know what it is. I was never, I was a bit of social butterfly. I feel like this is a carryover from school or something.

Yeah, I was a bit of social, but I was in sort of different groups. Same. I'm not in a gang. I don't want to be in a gang. No, I don't think I want to be in a gang. You don't. And every time you get asked to be out, to go out with someone, If I said to you, oh, Kerry, you want to come out with me and blee, blah, blah, blah, blah, you'd be like, oh, no, I don't fancy that.

No, true. It's true. There's that feeling, again, like, of being hunted when you're in a gang, where you're like, how do I get out of that? How do I get out of the gang? Sometimes if it's just three people, you're like, oh, I don't know. Yeah, no, it's a funny thing, isn't it? It's often, like many things, like parties, let's say, where the idea is better than the reality. Do you go to parties?

No, but I'm hosting one online in a couple of. of weeks. I'm very excited about it. I thought you were just about to say you're not coming and I was going to be really Do you know what? Do you know what? I was going to really kick off and that would have been podcast goals. You have had that day in your diary for a long time.

There was a little bit of me that went, shall I pretend? And then I thought, don't do that because. You made the right decision. Wow, that, that, that, whatever I saw in your eyes, I hope never to see that again. Because that actually genuinely scared me. I am coming to your birthday. I'm coming to your birthday, Cassie.

Oh my God. I don't know who's more relieved, you or me. There's just going to be loads of people really scared. It's like a hostage situation. This is the horrible thing, isn't it? Because you go, I want to have a party because I want it to be fun. And then you have this awful realisation that you're not fun.

People are burdened by the obligation. No one's burdened. Where they're like, oh, I'm going to a party on Saturday. I hope I get flu. To be fair, I do think that about everything. But I'm genuinely. looking forward to it. Oh, come on.

You just want it to be relaxing. You don't want it to be stressing. You just want it to be relaxing. It will be relaxing. Because there'll be booze. Are you drinking? Yeah, I'm going to drink. I mean, I'm not going to get inilitated, but I can't not drink.

Because then I'll be worrying about not drinking. You might as well have a drink. Said, the woman at the AA meeting. Oh, my God. What I love about, what I love about Kerry Godlem? She's how laid back she is. She was so laid back. One day I will be laid back and I'll surprise you.

I'll be laid back. Well, then I'll know you've got like a drug problem or something. When I'm staying in my bright and flat, my south facing Sea View, Bright and Flat, that you won't be allowed to visit because you tried to stop me from buying it. You'll tap on the window and go, can I come in and I'll go, no. What am I doing seven floors up tapping on a window? What have I done? You've such a sales.

I've been checking the roof out, Kerry, actually. I let you know. I let you know that you're not covered. You've got a leak up there and you're not covered. That'd be 60 grand. Who are we talking to today? Oh, today we're talking to the wonderful, the talented. She was brilliant, wasn't she?

The podcast. We'll have to do a different intro because I don't know what the fuck that was. Let's start again. Just improvise. What's the point of these cans? I can't hear myself. I often when I wear them, I find myself getting too lost in the quality of my own voice. Have you noticed recently you send voice notes?

and you can hear people getting lost in their own personality. I know. They're sending you a little podcast. Hi, Kerry, you can't make it Thursday. Anyway, they're like, shut up. Yeah, I know. And also, I resent. If anything is over a minute and a half.

I'm like, I'm not going to listen to that. No. Oh, I do love those. Do you love the three to five minutes? My favorite three to five minute is when someone's like, has just had a row with someone. Oh, right. And then they come at you and go, never guess.

Yeah, I love that. That's like my favorite thing. I save that up. It's so good. But, yeah, it's weird. the listening back to yourself, do you guys listen back to your voice? Yes, of course.

Yes, of course I do because I'm an artistist. Every single time. And my friend Gab sent me one the other day. Just to get lost in the quality of your own personality. Yeah, I'm like, I can't get a script out of this. Yeah. I think I might get a routine. I've starred ones before.

I'm like, I'll go back to that thought. Oh, brilliant. Brilliant. Oh, wow. I don't even listen to my own podcasts. I won't be listening to this. No, I don't listen to my long form work. but I like my voice notes.

Who was it? I think it was Ellie Taylor was she put a post up on Instagram about how she was just, I can't even remember what it was, but she was posting about something else. But the preamble was, just been enjoying, this. This is the face of a woman who's just really enjoyed listening to her own voice notes that she'd said. It was like this. You know, I was like, oh, people are doing that. Yeah, it really is a thing.

Right. Yeah, my friend Gav sent me one the other day. And it was, it was a funny one. It was a good quality voice note. And then a minute later, he sent another from saying, I tested myself for one minute. to see if I wouldn't listen back to that and I did. He lasted one whole minute.

Can I just say I really miss the high load? Would that ever come back? No. I'd love to do something else with Pandora but I'd never want to talk about. The fact that I was allowed to talk about the news every week. I loved it. I don't miss talking about the news. But you didn't talk about it in a sort of like forensic way.

You're like, this is a bit fucked up. what do we think about this or have we noticed that this is happening? The feedback loop of it was just so relentless. Understandably, if two people are weighing in with their gut reactions on what's going on in crack affairs and I just couldn't, it was just too much. I think you have to sort of disengage. Do you have to, if you're writing a book, do you have to go, I'm writing a book.

I haven't got, I can't be doing all the things. Yeah, totally. This is my first incredibly earnest hippie thing that I'm going to say, so probably not the last. Excellent. I'm here for it. Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote Eat Pre last. Yes, I love her.

She said this thing about, she interviewed the expert in sacred objects and sanctified objects. She said to him, how do you make something sacred? And he said, you'd draw a ring around it and you say everything inside here is sacred. That's great. I'm going to do that. But that's how I feel like, I think it's a great metaphor for life of how you keep yourself safe. You basically are the one who decides, you say. It's boundaries, isn't it? It's boundaries, exactly.

I am so crap. Me too. creating boundaries for myself. You've got sanctify yourself, Jen. My friend has to sanctify me. Obviously wine country. And they find Brene Brown in a restaurant. They carry his face foodies.

Brenny Brown's in this restaurant. And they all mob her and say, what's the secret? What's the answer? She's like, boundaries. She's like, back off. I'm out with my friend having a glass of wine. How did you come up with the idea

to create a book about a stand-up comedian? Well, I wanted the main character to have a job that that keyed into his sort of worst best and worst attributes, one of which was like a bit of a childlike quality that meet, like a job where he wouldn't have to grow up. And, you know, a people pleaser, someone who wanted to entertain, someone who had these kind of insecurities he couldn't shake off, someone who was a storyteller, someone quite nostalgic. And initially I wanted it to be, I thought he could be an actor, but at the time I was in a relationship with an actor and I just, it all felt too close to home.

And comedy is just like a really fun world. You can populate it with these people that come in and out for one night. Yeah. Yeah. And I've always been just obsessed with comedians. Like I used to, I had like vague hopes being a comedian when I was about 20. Thank God they disappeared. I did like two horrendous gigs.

Really? Oh, we all started with two horrendous gigs. Yeah, but thank God I then never went back. Well, I'm only glad because it made you become a writer and that's good for me. Because I so enjoyed it. I just thought, I love that. which captured their world so authentically. And especially that chapter.

That means so much to me. But that chapter of life as well when you're... I've talked about this before in a podcast. One of my favorite films is Francis Haar. Oh, I love that film. And it's exactly, it resonated in that same that you haven't grown up, but your best friends have. And they've all got proper jobs.

And they've started a family. And you're a bit like, oh, I missed a meeting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you all doing? You've bought a house? And what? I'm still... crashing on mates floors and I'm still lodging with, I love Morris and just although

that slightly it's an itinerant life, but it's sort of there's a kind of grandiosity to I've chosen I'm going to live in the annex and I'm going to live like an artist and everyone's like, okay. Yeah. Well, but you're being a dick. And also like, what if there is any sort of message from the book, which I don't think there is, but both characters end up choosing an unconventional life and actually in their own way and actually like that's still a very brave thing to do to choose you know I think most people still are so traditional whether that's in their careers or with their family life or their romantic life

yeah definitely and I think that's the thing that I got from the book if I was going to say that you know we were talking you were talking about empathy earlier but I feel like this book really is steeped in is empathy is like you're definitely you know just that you're understanding and your compassion to your characters even though they're all flaws You know, and also there are so many aspects of particularly the comic, which are, you know, in terms of personality, which were on an uncomfortable read because you're like, I love it. You're reading it going, oh, fucking, oh.

Yeah, that's true. I reread the beginning on the way here and it just made me laugh out loud. It's just hilarious. I really love Jen. She did remind me of me a little bit. Yeah, I really liked Jen as well. By the end, I was like, make her a lesbian. I did this.

At the end, I was like, come on. Yeah. Everyone's fluid, Jen. Hop on board. If every book that I've written, one of the top good reads to reviews is always... I think that it would be better if she was a lesbian. The only thing more powerful than a girl's girl, a girl's girl with a law degree. All's Fair is the fierce new legal drama about a team of iconic women in France, created by Ryan Murphy,

and starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Wurham. Watts, Nisi Nash Betts, Tiana Taylor, Matthew Nossga, with Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close. All's Fair premieres on Hulu on Disney Plus, November 4th. We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe, but this time, why not look a little further? To Dubai, a city that everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers, and epic desert adventures. to museums that showcase the future, not just the past. Choose from 14 flights per week between Canada and Dubai.

Book on emirates.ca today. You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on TELUS's five-year rate plan price lock. Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever, plus more peace of mind with your bill over five years. This is big.

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at TELUS.com. slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. So your first picture, is that you with your mom? Yeah, that's me and my mom. You really look like your mom. Oh, do you think? I do.

And I don't know if anyone's, I don't know if anyone says that to you a lot, but you really look like your mom. Yes. You look shocked. So my mum used to take me to little photo booths between the ages when I was first born until I was like seven and we would go and get these little pictures done together. and I love it. I love it. I know.

And do you know, I just love that. I love all those images now because it reminded me of a time where I was just so fucking obsessed with my mum when I was little. I just really remember it so well. I thought she was a celebrity. I thought she was Princess Diana, I think.

Oh, that's gorgeous. Did you spend a lot of time with her from little? Like she, you didn't go to her. Well, she was working full time. Right. She was like the breadwinner and went from when I was tiny. But she just did this amazing thing

where she sort of tricked me into thinking that she was there all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is what I now say to my friends who are mothers in particular, who feel so guilty about not being there, I'm like, I think there are ways, like kids are thick. And I think there are ways you can trick them into thinking, that you're there all the time. Or that when you are there, you make it count.

That's it. Yeah, and that's what your mum did. Yeah, she really did, yeah. Your mum's beautiful as well. I'm so glad you think I look like her, because my mum is so hot and I think I look much more like my dad, who's very attractive, but more Jim Brawbent sort of.

Donnie, you're very hot as well, my lovely. You don't have anything to worry about there at all. Where was your childhood? Stanmore. Oh, North West. Yeah, end of the Jubilee line. Hang on, I'm north-west and I don't know where Stanmore. Is that Wembley Way?

Yeah, exactly. I'm Greenford, Ealing sort of way. Oh, nice. Yeah, so we're not that far apart. Not far. Not the way you went, oh, nice. Oh, nice. Oh, nice.

It's awful. Do you know what? Do you still live there now? No. No. Long left. My mum and dad do. But aren't you so glad? I do think it's like, I'm so glad I grew up in like a bit of a rubbish suburb. Yes, me too. I just think there's nothing better for a kid than to be not cool and bored when they're a teenager. If I hadn't grown up in Stanmore, because initially my parents were living in a little flat in much more central London, then they moved us out to But Fuck Nowhere Suburbs.

If I'd stayed in that London flat, I think I would be a different person. I don't even know if I'd be a writer. honestly. Really? Why did you think that? Because I think that I was so all I did when I lived in Stammore, it was like you could see if you get to the highest point of Harrow, you can see London from the, from Harrow and Hill. So it was like I was living in this sort of margin of the city and all I did was just look into city being like, I've got to get there. And I totally relate to that. This imagination and this ambition. And the tube is your access. I remember that very clearly like getting on, because I lived on the central line right at the far flung end of it. Yeah. And just like, that was a pipeline to life. To life, exactly. And I was just so bored. All we did was like,

I didn't ever hang out with any boys. All I did was go on my little micro scooter, listen to like Avril Levine albums and Frank Sinatra albums. Watch weird old musicals with my mum. Did you go into London when you were a teenager? Because I used to go in. I used to go into like Covent Garden or Covem Garden.

Covent Garden was the epitome of glamour when I was growing. Well, mine was Camden. I remember once going with my friend Lee and we were going to go to Camden and I borrowed my mum's leopard skin coat because I was like, I'm going to Camden. Yeah, and there's punks. By the way, you're already the coolest person I know.

Did you go to Camden to buy your 501s or High Street Kent Market? Yes, and or Flip. Flip. Yeah. You're too young for Flip, but they used to be... Flip was a massive shop in Covent Garden, I think, that sold specifically only 501s.

501s and baseball jackets. And I think it might have been Covent Garden. Otherwise, why was I going to Covent Garden? the pot. Let's get a jack of potato. That's all I remember about. From Spudgy-like. Spudgy-like.

Yes. Spudgy-Ly. Chili con carne with cheese. Thank you very much. So let's look at your next picture. Is this with your friends? Which one was that? Which was the next one?

Is it? Oh yeah. So the next one is outside my first London house share. And that was the day we moved out. So I'd lived there for five years. It was a house in Camden. Camden. You got there.

I got there. And that was, we moved there and we were like 24. Unfortunately, the girls I was living with, they all kept falling in love and moving out with their boy friends. So I was like the one remaining sugar babe, and we kept bringing more friends in. This flat. This resonates with me.

I've had to go out and move on and I'm like, I'm still here. I'm the last one, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, well, no, actually, I was always moving out, but not because of a boyfriend or girlfriend, well, obviously not a boyfriend, just because I'd be like,

that you people are annoyed. So tell us about your house share. Was it a party house? It was a party house. It was where we sort of all became adults. It was all my best mates from uni. We all kind of rotated in it. Can I just ask a quick question?

Is it Jeremy Corbyn's house? It does look like Jeremy Corbyn's house, doesn't it? That's what we always thought. It's not growing edible, so it can be. It looks a little bit like the house in your TV show. Everything I know about that. Yeah, yeah. So it was totally based on that.

So I sent all the pictures of inside that house to the art department. And they recreated it. And they recreated it. Brilliant. Yeah. That must have been so weird. And actually I was really, I was really keen because I wanted like a modern ex-council building. Because that's the reality of what you're renting when you move to one and rather than these big Victorian.

Yeah. Which we've already seen back in like space or whatever. Yeah. So, but I was making it with working tight who obviously make. the most beautiful London rom-coms of all time and Eric Felner who was my exec he was amazing like trying to get him to sign off

on like he didn't want to he did it but then I was just like we can make it its own thing and we can make it cozy and cool and you know what you wanted to be and I know that that's the interiority of their love I remember what was doing a pilot for ITV and I said I think my character is scruffy and the wardrobe woman went no she's not this ITV1

ITV one okay yeah and also we worked out what the working title version like what the glossy version of a 70s, you know, council house would be. And it's like with fairy lights or with coloured cushions or with, you know, high ceilings. And the posters and everything.

Just to talk very briefly about that show, which I also, I think I texted you to say that I really loved it because I absolutely did. I think there's something that was captured in the series and in your book is female friendship. Yeah. And that kind of, there's almost like when you're young and in your 20s and you're single or you're seeing lots of people or you're taking drugs or whatever it is that you're doing, there's a sort of mania. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a sort of, you know, where before you go out, I think often the before going out is more fun than they're going out. Of course, always.

And that connection that you have with your friends is so unique with female friendship, I think. Yeah. And I love how you captured that, I think, just spot on. Yeah. Because I felt, when I was watching it, there was a little bit of me that was like, I really, I miss that and I'll never have that again. Oh, I love living in a girl. Hellshare.

So much. You're single. The night is, you don't know what the night is going to offer. Fuck all, by the way. Fuck all. Always fuck all. It's always fuck all. Right.

It is more fun. We used to have like these disco kitchen. Yeah. Before you go out. Sometimes maybe let's not go out. We would do that a lot. Yeah. And it was the promise of the imagined night.

Oh, so you're going to meet. Yeah. And then by the time it's three o'clock, you're queuing outside a club. You're like, I don't even want to go in this club. Kitchen disco. Yeah. Kitchen disco. You know, I had that when I was making it, I would be, we would shoot these scenes with them, like, getting ready or being hung over all tangled up in each other, watching a crap film or, you know, like out in bars.

And I would, we were, I was there when we were shooting every day. And I would often go back to my flat and, like, you know, you know, like, you know, get drunk and smoke 10 fags. I'd be hung over on set at 7am the next day because I'd been up writing and they were like, you know it's pretend. The act is method. You know we're drinking, it's a soft drink that we're drinking.

But I get so hot up in the list of Andrew Day Lewis. I just need to really feel it. But it was really, really felt by the end of shooting that series, I felt like I was really missing it, even though I knew the reality. And these were all uni mates that you lived with. Yeah. And are these the same women in the picture on the picnic?

Yeah, yeah. It's the same gang. Same gang. Because you've got a core gang. Yeah. Because I stalk you on various different social media. And you've got a core gang of mates and you seem to like hang out and do loads of stuff together. And some of their children and some have fucked it though.

Yeah, I know. I can see that. They absolutely fuck it. And there's a couple of photos with someone's holding a baby and I was like, oh, that's a shit weekend. Yeah. Shit. That's fucking is really good. There was this cover of the news.

of the New York of New York Magazine a couple of weeks ago that I didn't even read it in the end. And apparently there was nothing in it that I didn't already know. But it was a picture, pictured, picture of a giant baby. And the cover said, is this what's ruining your friendship? Bloody hell. And I was like, it's just so real for me right now. I didn't see my friends for at least, I think, the first two, maybe three. I don't think I slept for three years.

So I was like, I was a half-frienship. I was living a half-life anyway. I remember someone saying to me when I was pregnant that a baby is like a hand. grenade in a marriage but actually Oh I think it's the friendships It's the friendships that are the fallout People get cross with you Like I haven't heard from you

I'm like I haven't slept for Yeah A year Yeah no they if they're not on the same pages I was talking about this earlier Because I remember saying to one of my girlfriends When I got pregnant and I was 33 And I remember her reaction being like

Are you going to keep it I was like fucking hell That's so That really sums up We were on deaf Very different ways You know what? would have been the kind of thing I would have said.

I'm like, because we're still really young. You told you're like that. I'm like that at 36. I was like, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. I still do that now.

I still say to people, someone will like, my best friend to talk about whether she'll have a second. I don't know, you're all very young to be doing it. And it is like 36. And also I think like as if me saying that

at dinner is going to make a go, yeah, I'm not going to. Why do I do that? I talk to my therapist, that last week, about how I still have this like all-girls school thing a bit about like when I feel people getting a bit of ahead of me that I care about and me feeling a bit left out, I'll say stuff sometimes. Try to keep them with me.

Yeah, yeah. A bit of sabotage. Yeah, and I know that I'm doing it and then I'll often text them after to being like, by the way. You should definitely have a second chance. Don't listen to me. Did you go to a girl school? Yeah.

Did you go to a girl school? I did, yeah. Yeah. Do you think it just change or shape your sort of personality? 100%. I don't know if I would have been to end. I'm curious. I would have been neck leaping cock otherwise.

I don't. I'm not people who are like, oh, wow, you must have been miserable in an all-girls school. I actually wasn't, and I don't think I would have coped very well in a mixed school. And that's just a personal thing. And I know everyone is very anti-same-sex schools. And I'm sure there's loads of reasons why they're, awful but for me I don't think I'd have to cope well with blick. It was right for you. Well because even like there was a boys school near me and I used to get

bullied by them already and I could just imagine being at school because I was already a gobby sort of like hairy-legged, uni-browed, you know. And people were at the measure of me when I was like 13 they were like, shh, I think she likes boys and they would be able to tell so they would have gone to me. Yeah. And I don't think I'd have survived it. Do you think it shapes your friendships though, your female friendships a little bit? I think female friendships in all girl schools are really intense. Some might say too intense. Because I don't think, because I went to a co-ed school and I don't think it's just, yeah, I don't feel what you just described. Do you have a sister as well?

No, I don't have a sister. It's interesting that you should say that, Jen, because I, for years and years have felt very angry about the fact that I went to an all-girls school. And I think it's the reason why I don't really relate to men and it's why I don't have as many male friends and whatever. But actually, increasingly, I do think the way that I, the way that I can connect and be intimate with women is my favorite power in the world. And I think that I do, you do cultivate that when you have these very intense friendships at an all-girls school. Because I'm slightly jealous. What you're describing sounds brilliant.

And I think I didn't have those kind of friendships. The presence of boys made it all about them. Yeah. And also I was boy obsessed and boys were horrible to me as well. So I actually, if I'm being really honest to myself, I think I'm like you. I don't think I would have survived it actually. I think I would have had a horrible time.

I think I would have a horrible time. But I think I didn't have the bonding with the women. and girls that you're talking about. And also because there were no boys around and as a closeted little les, you know, yes, we talk about boys. That's the name of your next show. To quote your character in your book,

that's the name of your next album. Closeted little leses. Closited little lesbian. I think when we used to talk about boys but they were always like, oh, look at him in just 17 or whatever. They weren't real people. They weren't real people. And obviously I was like,

ah, yeah, Jason Donovan. I don't know what you're talking about. But imagine being surrounded by boys And everyone being talking about Have you got a boyfriend? Have you got a boyfriend? Yeah, it was obsessing. Oh my God. Yeah, now are we talking about it.

I think it was shit. I think maybe just like being a teenager is shit. Yes. And it's like what flavour are you going to have of problems? Yeah. Maybe. And then later in life you sort of blame the past. Exactly.

Exactly. Whatever. I love this next picture, Dolly. So talk to us about this photograph. Oh, thanks. Thanks. So that is me standing outside the first flat that I rented on my own. Finally got out of the house shares when I was 28. You look fantastic.

Oh, thanks. I love that you did that because I got to 35 and I was still shared. I've never lived on my own. I never got to live on my own. And that is one of my biggest regrets. It's because of my stupid job. I was always skins. Yeah, but that's not your fault.

No, it's because of this stupid fucking housing market that doesn't allow people to rent on their own. I feel like so impassioned about this. Yeah. I'm like the only person I know who could rent on their own. own and it's only because I sold a book. It's so shit. My brother's an actor, he's 33 and he's still living in like Zone 3 house shares

with strangers. He's not going to get to live on his own, I don't think. For a while. I think it was so unfair. Yeah. I mean, especially where you want to live, so was that in Camden as well? That was right in the middle of Camden. Yeah. It looks a touch, Dolly. Oh, thank. Yeah, you look fantastic. That flat I feel like that is kind of

when you're a young person or even now as a middle age woman, I look back and I think, I would have loved to have had that just a couple of years to be living on my own, figuring, figuring out what my tastes are because now, let me tell you,

Chloe has completely monopolised all of our tastes. I don't even know if I have a taste. Every time I come around your house, I'm like, oh, that's nice, you're like Chloe got that. I don't know if I have a taste. Why are your books colour coded?

Chloe did that. Yeah, I mean, the house has recently been redecorated so next time you come around, please do have a little look around and yes, Chloe. Enjoy Chloe. but just to have that space to be able to think about oh how do I want to decorate the place or how do I imagine having a own place was it

so special and I dreamt of it since I was a teenager it's a room of ones out all I wanted room of ones out and that's what makes me sad that it's like you know like my brother or you guys if you're artists if your writers and creators it's it's so awful that you're not done that we're denied this like opportunity of just having just a tiny space that's yours that you can fill with your books and your stuff and you can think and you can stay up late and you can fill with your own music and I just think it's so fucked. I think it's so

fuck that so most people don't get to do that and I feel really lucky. Yeah, I feel really lucky. Yeah, I was so lucky I got to. I think Nunzon it's almost impossible unless like you say you have a number one hit and you weren't scared of being lonely? No, I tell you what the first night that I was in there I felt I'd never been in a flat on my own before

and I remember being really scared and someone said to me what you have to think of it as is like the other flats. You're surrounded by people. Yeah, like your flat is your bedroom. Yes. I can remember feeling like that. Yeah. In building in London.

It feels like London to me. Every house I've ever lived in in London, I can almost imagine all the people all around. Yes. Because you are on top of, you're all, that's the thing by London is you are living cheap by jail. But I don't really get lonely. So I think I would have loved it. I really love my own company.

I think I can remember the talk. So I was living in a house share. and then I met Ben, and we were going out, but I know that that was the window. I remember wanting to live on my own, and he was like, do want to come and live with me? And I was like, I do want to be with you, but I do really want to live on my own.

And I had a feeling that he was going to be a keeper, and I thought, this is the only opportunity I'm going to have to live on my own. And then it feels shitty because you're in a relationship. So you're going to, I want to live on my own. And then we looked at the finances, and it was utterly impossible. Yeah, of course.

It is a rare. It is rare. And I, you know, at some point I would love to live with someone, and I do want to live. to have a family at some point. So I think I knew when I was, when I had the money that I could just rent a place, I did think this is, this is such a small moment in life. How long did you live there for? I was there five years.

And I'm on my own as well in another place. It actually wasn't a small moment in life. Yeah. But I love it. And actually now the thought of living with a man, which I am going to have to at some point. It is. You don't have to do those. You don't have.

No, I have to do it. And have separate houses. They don't like that. No, it's a real thing. Like Helen Bonham Carter and Timbun. Yeah, I know, and then they got fucking divorced. And also, they had their houses were next to each other and they could open the door.

They had two enormous houses conjoining in Bell's size park. Again, a rare truth. Yeah. A rare. So when they say they were living in separate houses, they were living in the same house out on the same street. But it really skipped, because I've just got so used to, like when I have my friends who come around

who live with partners or have families, they'll walk around and they'll open my family. fridge they were like, let's all your food. Look this lovely food. Yeah. That's yours. Look at this nice clean bathroom. There's no post-it notes saying. Buy some bog roll, you can't see. I remember that with a flatmate.

I think that I used to leave those notes all the time. My friend would lead like a stank of all those bog roll linnards. Oh, my God, like a sculpture. I got to tell you this, I came home from Holiday. I just got on Holiday with Chloe. Came home to my shared accommodation in, in Havisville. barangay, walked in through the door, one of my housemates was wearing my pyjamas. No, no.

And I said, oh, I've got some pyjamas like that. She went, they're your pajamas. And I went, okay. How did she excuse that? I don't know. She said they were out in the dryer and I thought, I'd just borrow them. Absolutely not. Oh, my God.

That's a boundary violation. I mean, boundaries. Go, go, go. Yeah. But there is a sort of loveliness about when you're young and you've got good close girlfriends or house shit, you want the boundary. is to be all messy. Because that's sort of part of the appeal as well.

Yeah, but I was like 38 and I'd... No, no, you were over it by then. The worst one that we had of that when we lived together is my friend India went back to that house in Camden. And she heard someone upstairs in her bedroom and she opened the door and it was a woman she had never met completely naked. What? Going through her wardrobe. Wait, what? And she was like, who are you?

And she was like, oh, I won't say her name. I'm a friend of bells. And what had transpired is that she was our other housemate Bell who was sort of like is collecting waifs and strays. She was her Zumba instructor who had just had a bad breakup and at the end of the lesson had cried to Bell about it. And Bell said, you can come live in my house for a month. We can share it. Come sleep in my room. And then she had thought that, and she'd said, don't worry about going back and getting your clothes. You can borrow my clothes.

So this woman had thought that that was Bell's wardrobe. Oh, God. So that was how it transpired. My God. The Inja came home from work to find a naked woman trying on her clothes in her bedroom. That's absolutely not acceptable. December instructor stayed for six weeks. We're back to boundaries.

Wow. We're very much back to... And now I see the appeal of living alone. You do not have to put up with that. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on. on Uber eats, but iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice, yes, we deliver those.

Goaltenders, no, but chicken tenders, yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too, along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Which window is this that we're looking out of your last picture? Oh, so that was a couple of months ago. That was the early hours of my third 35th birthday. So that was like 2 a.m. on the day I turned 35 and it was the most incredible moon. I was in Devon with some friends I took there for the week for my birthday. Yeah. And this moon was so into, I'd never seen a moon like it.

It's like a Van Gogh sort of painting. Oh wow. I'm going to see me. And it was like, it was like flood lit my bedroom. It was like this white light in my bedroom. I was like, God, that moon is incredible. And then the next day I read that it had been a super blue, a blue suit. Supermoon. Oh. I've heard of a super moon, not a blue super moon. It's a blue super moon. It's a rare.

Very rare. So we're not going to see another one for like 40 years or whatever. Oh, wow. And it just, and it felt so important to me that 35 is such a scary age for so many women. And I was like something about, something in nature is telling me that this is when I'm at my power. Do you know what I mean?

Yes. I love that you, I think, Dolly, these things seem to happen to you quite a lot. I'm not, I don't, like, as a writer, it feels like, you're present. I'm always looking for the paucism, I think. Yeah.

I'm trying to... But you're a writer, of course. Yeah. Yeah. And you found it in that moment. And it just was like such an amazing way to start 35, first year of early middle age and something I'm... Can I just rewind and just say you're not...

35 is not early middle age. Okay, thank you. Says the 48 year old. That's like when people are like, 48's the new 32. 35... 35 is not even close to middle age, for fuck's sake. But in olden times. Yeah, if you died when you were like, fucking...

If you do it season, are you in the summer of your life, right, and we're well into the autumn. Yeah, all right. No, no, see, I think I'm like first days of September now in terms of, fuck, where does that leave us? I think you're in October. We're heading towards winter, mate. No, no.

Winter's not till 70. Well, then if winter's not till 70, you're in summer, my love. Okay, I'm in summer. I'm in the summer. I'll go to the flackle van. I think back to my, when I was 35, I thought I was like, I genuinely thought I was still like super young. So I think this is well

But it's such a strange age Because it is also the age where everyone's saying Everybody has got kids when I was your age Everyone had kids Everyone and you had kids when I was your age So how old were you, 36 when I was your age? 39 39

Yeah, you're my hero Yeah, just hang on I love these stories You're welcome Literally whenever I'm at a party And there's women And I'm like, how old are you If it's anything under 30 yet

I'm like cool, hope it goes well Try and fucking take another woman I'm like Where is the 13th? 39 year old. Or even better met Jerry Spice recently interviewed her. She had her second baby at 44. Because I've got friends, I still have friends now who say to me,

they'll talk, they're like my age. They'll be like, well, you know, I've left at Barry Lake. I'm like, what? I don't know. It's so strange. I think every woman's fertility is different. Yeah, that's reality. And people, you'll always find someone going,

oh, what, you know what? You're not here about that woman from Nigeria and a baby at 52. You're like, okay. But most women, are your fertility does start to drop in your late 30s and into your 40s. So yeah. I mean, but like, unbeknownst to me, I was perimenopausal at 38, but I didn't know. Really?

Yeah. And I, and I, yeah, I know. So can I ask, did your mum go through paring menopause at? Early, not quite as early as me. I think she, well, actually, it's hard to know because she was absolutely bananas by her mid-40s. So maybe. It's a possibility that we're all a bit bonarious. Definitely.

But it must be so weird, but my friends that are going through perimenopause, when they tell me the symptoms, I'm like, that sounds like, every woman I know. You know, it's like, must be so hard to distinguish. Mine was, mind amped up, though. By the time I was 40, 41, there was, it was like, oh, this is untenable. I can't actually survive this. So it was different. Like, I was getting, like, hot flushes.

Like, I'd get like 26, 30 a day. Really? Yeah, I'd be on stage and have three. and then my mind would blank and be like, and I mean, let me tell you, there's a whole swath of people who've seen me before HRT

that were like, oh, I remember when you completely lost your way in that show. I did, I did, I did the Soho Theatre. I was in, I was, I started the show. I was like three lines in and I went, guys, I'm just going to have to go backstage and just check my notes

because I completely blanked the whole show went. Bloody hell. People like that though. They loved it. People do love that. A work in progress audience just want to see the wheels fall off.

what they're for. Yeah, but that wasn't a work in progress. Oh, okay. That was at the same. That was, I'm in the Pladeo. People do love, I tell you,

the worst one that happened to me at Hay Festival this year and I still have nightmares about it was I, on the Saturday night at Hay, I was, I thought that I was billed to be like, the main headliner. Already,

I love this story. And it was like, it was in this huge, the biggest venue, and it was like, I thought it was this amazing woman. She's a writer, she's a dancer, she wasn't strictly called Otey Mabusi.

Oh yeah? I thought Otee was interviewing me about my new book. So I was really excited about it. The whole day I kept saying to the organise, like, shall I have a chat with Oti? And they were like, no, don't worry, it's fine. She's in her and makeup, she's doing this, whatever. Then it got to like half hour before I'm like, I feel like I should meet her before we,

to talk about what the event will be. And then we were backstage, and she came out at 20 past eight. It was at half eight we were meant to be on stage. And we were just having a chat. We were just having. me a chat, I'm like, this is nice, but we're not talking at all about, like, she's not saying, like, I love the book or what do you want to talk about, whatever. And then five minutes before we went on, I went. So we're just going to talk about the new book, are we? And she went, what book? She thought I was interviewing her. Oh, oh, oh, God. But you had nothing. Oh, God. We didn't know anything about each other. Who had fucked up? What? So her, her management had fucked up. And her management came out and I was like, what do we? But you're at the hate festival and you've just written a book. So surely you're going to talk about your book? That's madness.

But we were like, she was so lovely and we were like, what do we do? And she was such a little bit, Ray of Sunshine. She's like, tell what we're going to do. We're going to go out on stage. We're going to learn a lot about it. Then we're going to come best friends. And she was amazing.

Her management came over and they were like, okay, so she read a memoir. She did a weekly podcast. She, um, she writes about friendship. Oh, she, um, it was like, and we had, I found, the other day, I found the scrap of paper. It made me feel sick.

And I was going to shit my pants. It had just these. words that I'd written down about themes we can talk about and one of them was just women. Great thing. Oh my God. It was like women dancing, life.

But can we mention my book please? We'll cover women and dancing. And I got on the stage and I was like, look, everyone, to like a thousand people was like, there was a clerical era. And I had to get them on side and they just loved it. Oh, I'd love it.

That sounds great. I would have loved that as well. Because also better than a slick, prepaid, you know, overly scripted or overly contrived thing. Especially at a book festival. An anxiety dream. That is an anxiety dream. And do you know what? Afterwards, me and Odie became like celebrities because it was like the closing hay party.

And people kept coming up to me like Robert Peston came up to me. He was like, I heard what happened. It's like I cannot believe that happened. Everyone's worst nightmare. I cannot believe you're still hearing. You're a hero. I did become a hero. You've got a hate war story.

Yeah. Do you know what? You've actually now proven yourself to be perfectly fit to be the stand-up comedian. Definitely. Come and do some gigs with us. Yeah. It's delightful to have met you. Don't, you've done all your pictures. I know. Me too. And we're so happy that you said that you'd come and do the podcast. So thank you. I'm so happy that you've had. I think you for writing that book. I've got a lot of pleasure out of it. I really enjoyed it. It's cathartic, isn't it? Yeah. But also quite exposing. As I say, I feel rather seen. Well, thank you so much for having me. And thank you for coming up with such good podcast structure. I'm kind of pissed off.

I never came up. I used to have a flatmate that just would look in the mirror all the time. When we were talking, she'd just be like, yeah. Maybe. Fucking look at me. That would drive me insane. Yeah, no, that would drive me crazy. But that's also like if somebody is, you know,

if there's a mirror behind you or if someone, you like me, like people are just checking themselves out. Or even if it's near a window. Yeah, yeah. Have you guys been able to work out? I still can't work out when people are looking at themselves on Zoom. Oh, I'm always glancing.

Because I'm always glancing. I can't follow the eyes. I 100% look at myself on Zoom. But often I'm looking at myself on Zoom going, oh my God, that's that turkey neck thing happening. You know, because what I love is that you can totally like soften the features. You can't you on that?

You know, on the settings, you know what I'm talking about? On the setting, I never use that. Yeah, you can. Right, you can totally, you can maximize it so you just two nostrils. Or you can just turn yourself off. Two nostrils. No, I mean, I don't want to turn myself off because I want to look at myself. So, I am still looking at myself, but what happens is my features, my face, like I said, I'm just like two nostrils and some tea.

Yeah. So I'm thinking, oh, that looks good. Then why isn't it not doing that for my neck? My neck is still like scrunching. Just is scrunching the neck. Even the filters can do nothing with your neck. You can't. You can't.

Even the house is like a dog clip behind my neck in a Zoom call. Anyway, I just wanted to clarify that. Can I call, Georgian? Four. How old am I? 48. Are you? Because it's weird, I feel like, because I'm 35,

I feel like the thing everyone's always talking about at my age is the forehead and the 11s. That's why I've got a fringe. Yeah, the 11s of a thing. That's all everyone's, yeah, it's all anyone's talking about. And then my friends. I love that film. I just love that film. But that's why I've got a fringe.

Yeah, same, Botox. But then everyone gets to 40. You're young. But now everyone, all my friends at 40, they're going on and on about this neck. And I'm like, fuck's sake. Is that, is it like? I don't know what you do about the neck.

I do. Can you both of, when did you notice the neck? Well, very much on a Zoom call with you and Joel. When we were recording the injury, it wasn't the camera. Do you think the camera is capturing something that isn't there? Well, now I'm with you. There's nothing wrong with your neck.

Can I just say that neck? That neck is supple and almost toned. Yeah. It's a great. It is. There's nothing going on with that neck. It's swanlight. Yeah. Yeah, except on a Zoom call.

I don't know what Zoom's doing. Check your camera. Zoom is compressing my neck. Maybe your machines are broken. I think it was also about the angle. It's definitely the angle. You don't need to touch that neck. Okay, so for now the neck safe.

Also, you've got the best ring lamp I know. Like, you've got a quality ring lamp. Yes. But maybe it's too much. Do you think? Sometimes I think it can overcorrect. I bought a ring light and I chucked it straight out. Did you?

It was too exposing. They see your soul, some of them. You're like, fuck. Get out. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast. What Did You Do Yesterday?

It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did?

You do yesterday. You know what did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word.

What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcast. every Sunday.