Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E23: Kevin Eldon

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

"Paul Weller had seen us play and asked for a tape and took that to John Peel" The wonderful, brilliant and incredibly funny Kevin Eldon takes us through a few of his photos from a life of making people laugh. Photo 01 - Family Photo Photo 02 - Jerry Hackett and the Fringes (Band) Photo 03 - My good friend Sean Lock Photo 04 - My Fan Boy Photo PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. And welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast.

Come on, we can all be nosy together. That was a good one. The second one was definitely the best. seen for a while. I've got such bad sneezing at the moment. Is that from, have you got a cold or are you just sneezing? Because I had a day of just sneezing,

but I didn't have any other symptoms. I don't know. I've just been sneezing a lot. I've convinced I'm allergic to our sofa. Is it new? Yeah. It's a velvet sofa. Well, it's got to go.

Well, we've talked about it. Well, it can't be, it must be the sofa if you didn't have a reaction before and now you're having a reaction and that's the only... Yeah, I mean, I brought it. up but Chloe was like, we've just bought that sofa and I said, I know. She said, well, I suppose you'll have to go. You have been away a lot. Maybe she's

just got used to you not being around. That's what she said. That's exactly what she said. She said, well, I could live with it. You were fine with it before and I said, I wasn't here. You've never been there. Yeah. I think that's the key, isn't it? Just if I'm here less. Anyway, we're stuck with this sofa. I have to get used to it. But I am sneezing a lot. That was quite a good sneeze. You're right. Yeah, it was really good.

It was like a comedy, proper comedy. You'd never be able to replicate that. No, but that sneeze also does seem to make members of my family angry because I can sneeze very loudly. And my dad's a loud sneezer. And I remember, oh, I don't like it. So annoying. It's actually makes me angry.

So when I'm doing it, I'm automatically already feel empathy for the people around me that have to. But you can't help. It's a performative. It's not. No, no, it's not. I've known people do those like, ah, ooh! And I'm like, all right, dial it down.

It's not live at the Apollo. We don't need. I do do it constantly under a spotlight if I am sneezing. Yeah. Bring the lights down. Look at me, sneeze. Look at me.

Here it comes, children, everybody. Hold on to the light. Stand aside. I will be sneezing. Here it comes. It's overwhelming, my sneezes in a way that, oh, I don't know. I'm sure somehow we can connect it to the menopause. Oh, do you reckon?

Oh yeah, everything leads back to the menopause. If I say anything, they go, oh, well, that's menopause, isn't it? It's like, do you remember Candida in the 90s when everyone was obsessed with candida? It's a condition. I think it's to do with lactose. Anyway, my mum was obsessed with it, and she thought everything was candida. You'd say everything, any symptoms she goes, Canada. I've never heard of Canada.

I know, it sounds like a posh woman. This is Candida and her daughter. This is Candida, yes. We'll be spending the summer with Candida and her family. Yeah. No, it's, I think it's a colon situation. It's a colon. It's a colonic.

It's a colon. It's a colon. Not a semicolon, it's a full-on colon. It's a full-on to do with your colon. I'm going to Google it. and I will let you know. But anyway, the point being is that there was a time when my mum, who was into alternative, healthy stuff,

she thought everything was candidate. And you're right, now it's all like it's menopause, everything. Well, often everything is menopause. I mean, I can't seem to do anything without it being some sort of menopausal thing. Yeah. As was evidence later on in this interview where I couldn't speak. I mean I oh yeah that was good that was interesting that was so well I got so excited about having a question

because I don't usually have one and I thought oh this is an absolute banger here it comes and then I went you blanked not only did I blank I was like I've got absolutely no idea it was almost like I'd had a stroke I was like who am I where am I I who I have never well I say I've never had that I used to have it on stage all the time pre-HRT I spent the weekend doing clearing out

I cleared out the loft and I reacted like this. I was sneezing a lot but it definitely was dust because I was like Ms. Havisham up in the loft blowing dust off boxes. And boxes and boxes and boxes of photographs. Oh God. Oh no. Here we go. What are you going to do with them? I don't know. I put them in new boxes and move the boxes around.

I'm glad you did that. So you cleared out by emptying boxes, putting them in new boxes and leaving them up in this place where you went to, out the boxes. But they're now in better boxes. Oh, but they're better boxes. Because the old boxes were rotting. Oh, right. So it's less of a clear-out and more of a re-box. Moving around. Yeah, that's okay. Have you thought about doing this thing where you scan your photos?

Yeah. No, okay. Go on, go on. But I already can tell you right from the game. And then you make a book. Like a book, like an actual book. Not an album. Are you fucking mental? No, no. I'll show you. Hang on a second. You didn't do this. Chloe did this. So don't make out this. This is something you did. I didn't do it. But then you get a book.

I don't know what this is. I mean, it's a, it's a, it's not a visual medium, but here we are. So you have a book. And then you scan the photos and then you put them in the book like that. So then you've got loads and loads of photographs in a book. But the, oh, hello. Oh my God. Who did that?

Who made that? She does one every year. So can she do one for me? Listen, the amount of agro and stress that comes from making one of these books, absolutely not. So then you get, you stick all your photos like that. scanned them in. Right, okay, okay. You don't scan them actually.

You do it on an app and then you upload them. Right, here's the problem. This is the problem for people that are as old as us. That's all good and well because that is an annual up-to-date this year's photos, technical, 21st century situation. I'm talking about, I went acoustic up there. I was unplugged. This is pre-the-in-in-net, pre-smart phone.

This is like fucking, you know, Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of paper, old, slightly shit, torn, faded photos. I'm not going to scan them, am I? You're not scanning them. And I'm not going to bin them either. But you can scan them, is what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. No, you're not going to do that.

No one in their right mind would do that. People do it, Kerry. Well, who? Christ, have they got a life? Look, put down your colouring pens and pick up a scanner and start scanning your phone. I'm not colouring in. I'm not colouring in. and I'm never colouring in.

Sometimes I might embroidering garden, but I'm never colouring in. All right, well, put down your embroidering needle and start scanning your photos. Look, it's a really good use of your time. And the joy that it will bring you, when you pick up a little cheeky book like that and go, you're quite achieved. This is bullshit. You never do this. This is Chloe.

I don't need to do it. I've got Chloe. I don't need to do any of these things. That's why you need to get someone like Chloe in your life. but look no Ben Ben is like Chloe

in that for my 50th did I tell you what he made did I tell you what he gave to one of my 50th presents okay right so he did a version of what you're saying so he scanned so he bought me

this is an old iPad and he literally uploaded uploaded every video of the kids when they were little from every little USB stick and CD

like from old devices and he put them all on one. Oh, that's so lovely. Isn't that? And it's like I just sit and watch videos of kids when they were babies now. Oh, that's so lush. So that is really lovely. But again, that is all, you know, post-technical age stuff. All that I'm talking about in the loft is just, you know, pictures from the 70s, 80s, 90s. I just honestly, Jen, I don't know what people do with it other than just dust it down, put it in a new box and walk away. Yeah, all of my photos were in albums but the albums

disintegrated because they were from the 70s and so they'd been left up in the loft and they just pulped. So I had to take all the photographs out of the album thinking that's okay because I'll put them in a new album. No, you haven't done that. That was 11 years ago. I haven't done anything. I tell you what I did find a lovely picture that you sent me is a picture of me holding one of your boys and it's like a thank you. You did again, this will be Chloe, not you. Of course. It was a really lovely picture and thank you card for like, I don't know, I probably bought them a baby girl or something when they were born. We used to have, we used to have like a little collage of those photos up on the fridge.

God knows where it is. Oh yeah, I remember that. I mean the fridges are a great thing for displaying. Fridges, like I said before, we used to have pinboards when I was a kid. There was like cork boards up on the kitchen. I thought you said pork boards. I was like, what? Not pork, no, because you wouldn't get many photos on. on a piece of pork. But cork, a cork board, yes. I just had a vision of like, a pork board. I mean, she's vegetarian, but she's still got a pork board.

That's how she rolls. Don't take that pork board away from me. Leave the bacon back where you left. Leave it. She likes to put photos up on her pork board. Anyway, yes, a cork board. That was another. Right.

Loads of pictures of me in the 90s in front of a court board. It's all gone very meta. So a photo and then in the background more photos. Right. Well, that's what we were doing. I mean, here's something you could do is start using your fridge as, you know, like when in an iPad and then you upload some photos and then they go, and they do that thing where they go, oh, you get like a half a dozen photos and they go around a look. A display thing, yeah. You do that on your fridge.

So every week. you upload six new photographs onto your fridge. And then you go like, look. Okay, well, that's not going to happen. But what we might have come up with, you should patent a fridge, instead of making an ice machine, or one of those little things that no one ever uses,

integrate an iPad into the door of the fridge so that it has rolling, changeable displays of photos. Oh my God, we should go on Dragon's Day. No one wants this. Okay. Look. They do look. Joel's nodding.

We've just invented something. Something that people would want. People love all kinds of shit. People love shit. Yes, I know. I'm stepping away from this. You can take this patent and please feel free to put. I'd love to see.

Let's go on Dragon's then. What Debra Meadon has to say. I already know what she's going to say, but let's have a little cheeky look. Oh my God. Right now, I'm looking at my fridge just covered in bits of tat and old photos. If that was all streamlined into one big screen

that just changed regularly. Can I say what would probably happen? You'd have a screen and then you just cover it intact because that's what Fridges are for. You're like, I'll just put that up there

to remind me about that and that goes up on there. Oh, and someone bought me a magnet from Magalith. You've just pissed on it. Straight away, this is like the Brighton Flat all over again. It's barely out of the gate

and you've just defecating why am I always defecating? I just seem to constantly be taking a shit on things. Maybe. The word, when you say you're poo-pooing something, it doesn't mean you're actually

poo-poohing on something. Oh, I thought it was like poo-poo as in feces, feces. Double shit. I've just done a double shit on all your dreams. Oh, look at Bristus. She's done a double turd again. No, so poo-poo-poo doesn't mean poo-poo. It doesn't actually, surely it means

poo-poo. Because it doesn't mean poo-poo. If you're poo-poo-poo-pooing something, it doesn't mean. What else could it possibly do? It's a word, poo-poo. Everyone knows about boo-poo. Surely. Let's break it down. What else can it possibly Google it and we'll talk about it another time. maybe in the outro. Like a French word, like poo-poo.

Don't poo-poo my idea. No one's saying, no one's saying when she just poo-pooed my idea. They're saying, they're saying shit, shit, they're saying double-shoe. No one's saying, oh, look at her. She's just taking another shit on my idea. They mean, they are. That's what they're in mind. I've got to Google it.

I've got to Google it. And then we'll come back to this because I really feel like, I really feel like, people listening to this are like, oh God, don't you know what poo-poo means? Pooh-poo means this. Right. Right, let's Google it. Okay, poo-poo. How's it spelled?

I've spelt it. P-O-O-P-O. P-O-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P. Don't poo-poo-poo. Okay, P-Poo-Poo, meaning with the H as in P-Boo-Bair. Dismiss. Okay, an idea or suggestion as being foolish or impractical. Okay, so it's got an H at the end. It's got an H at the end, yeah, so poo-poo.

So that implies non-shit. Yeah, so that's not a shit. Okay, great. We should say who we're talking to, shouldn't we? We're talking to Kevin. We're talking to Kevin Eldon. We're talking to Kevin Eldon. Oh, this is a real.

thoroughly enjoy. Yes. And he's an absolute gem and he was so lovely to talk to and had so many stories. I think we only sort of scratched the surface and also just... Oh yeah. He's so funny. He's a funny bloke. He's a great storyteller. He's done a lot of stuff. Often, I found a lot

of it. I was like, he'd... I don't think he'd even realised how much stuff he'd done. And like I said to you the other day, I went to see Napoleon this week and he's in that. He's... I mean, Kevin is literally in everything. So whenever I switch on any... And then when you say to him, oh my God, you were in this and you were that.

And he was like, he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, I think I was. It's like, do you not have any memory of it? If we're working so much, you don't know, you don't remember that you were in a blockbuster Hollywood film. Yeah, but he was an absolute joy to talk to you. And we had so much fun. And he really took the fact that I couldn't speak in his stride, which I really appreciate. Oh, yeah, but that's because we're all of a similar age. He just totally got it.

He wasn't like, if you have those moments with a young person, they just blink at you. If you do it with someone who's, you know, a bit older, they're like, yeah, been there late. No sphincter tightening here, love, I totally get it. Yeah. You're with, you're at home. You're welcome. As you can see, there's one of here of an abandoned trainer with a dog poo in it. I thought that looked.

That's a analogy of the state of Britain. That's a plate of egg and chips. They're all your pictures in the world. I love those. You did them this morning. No, no, these are through the years. is. That's a picture of some ear medicine I sent to my wife. It was on anniversary. I was wondering what that was. And then there's one that I took of my ear accidentally. I'm only

joking. I've got some proper ones. You have a biography. I have got, but I tell you what, though, I was looking through the photos and they were just mostly the kids. They were just most of the kids. But haven't you got an album or a box of your life? I haven't got them. My mum's got them. My sister's got them. And there's one head. heavily documented sort of two weeks when I went to Indonesia. I love it when there's an over excessive. We've all got that. We've all got that. And there's five of each photo. I don't know.

And then there's decades where there's nothing. There's decades where there's absolutely nothing. We've got the best photo that you've ever had so far. What? That's a great haircut. Yes. Yeah, it's the hair. There's been some good hair.

It's sartorial sort of who was it? I did really enjoy Carl Donnelly suit. Carl Donnelly suit. I was just going to say the same thing. That was one of my favourite. I don't think we've ever had anything as strong as that. When you were talking sartorial crimes, Carl Donnelly smashed it with us.

What year we're talking? Early 90s. And how's he got along? Not early 90s, late 90s. Oh, it's gone wrong in so many ways. Would he have been considered to have gone wrong at the time? Oh, 100%. It's a miracle that he got out of the shop.

I don't know how he didn't get his head caved in. Can he too? I think we should ask him to retrospectively soon. I mean, I'm glad that there's no picture of me in my. my 1976 jacket, which was... What was that? It was massive lapels. It was just before punk.

And it had this sort of... It was a check, but there was a feature of the check which was kind of marmalade orange along with the browns. It does sound rather great though. Yeah. Now I wish there was a photo of that.

Well, so do I actually. But I mean, I kind of, within sort of two months of buying it, I looked at it and just thought that was an error. But there was no going back. Well, no, because your parents isn't bad, though. I mean, I've bought things, and within two days, gone, what was I?

Yes, but I wore it once, and then I went to wear it again two months later. Right. So that's when I look at it and I just, I mean, just look, I mean, our cat's sick quite a lot. And it just, now there's a big, it's a big closeness of the sort of, not texture exactly, but the, the color of it. When you, when you were young, you were like, you've got those photos of you wearing an outfit and you wish that you had that photograph. Are there any, like, I mean, how many, how many, God, I've actually just gone, my brain's just gone completely blank. Sorry, as I was talking. That's the menopause.

I tell you, well, that happens to me, all the, that's the menopause. As I was talking, I just went, what are you talking about? I hadn't thought in my head at me and then just blank. Yeah. That's what my face does for people. Yeah. It just drains them of inspiration and language. I don't think it's just your face.

It's just, no, I think it's my age. I sympathise with that. What happened there? It was like a literal brain burst. I wouldn't draw attention to it. It was a bit hard not to draw attention to it. It was in the middle of a sentence and the sentence disappeared from under me.

Basically, the message was going from one synapse to another and it just encountered an enormous chasm instead of the next synapse. Absolutely. And everything stopped. Has that ever happened on stage to you? Yeah. Oh, when you, oh yeah.

And it's great when it happens on the punchline. And that was just the... Oh, it's awful. This is happening to me all the time. A name of someone that is really important that you get out that, name and you're there and you're going that's it three seconds has gone the timing is buggered the joke is gone just the thought of it's making me anxious it's awful that feeling and you know it's coming as well your brain goes you know you don't know you're actually knew it was coming as soon as

I looked at your face went well you've completely forgotten what you're going to say and even now I'm like what was I going to say this is happening to me on stage now and that's why I'm like it gives me the fear do you ever when you're telling your kids off cut out when you're like I never tell them off man I think they should just express themselves. This is the thing I've noticed where I'll be in the middle of, not telling off, but just a kind of like, I'm holding court and I'm parenting and it's like I'm in charge. And then I just, in the middle, just lose the faculty of language.

Yes, that's really undermining. It really undermines. They're like, oh, you don't know how to talk now, do you, mum? No. That's it. You just push yourself off the authority stall. It's just a sprawling mess. And another thing, if you could go back into, I'm disappointed,

And they're just looking at it and just walking away. Just walking away. That's the worst one. Yeah, that's right. But, you know, I hope we keep that in because, you know, it'll give courage and sympathy for all other people. Yeah, to carry on. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice, yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Talk to us about this picture, Kevin. I don't know whose wedding this is, but this is, I would say, 1965.

Wow. And I'm about five or six. And we have at the back, me in the front, at the back is to they left my dad, then my mum, and my uncle George, and then my Nana. You look cute with your tie and your V-neck jumper. V-neck jumper. I seem to remember, though, that that was a lovely dark blue and black, those stripes. Now, I got in

trouble when that was developed because mum was always one for doing a photo face. And there was a thing. And you totally bollocksed it with that. I did, actually. And, you know, probably...

That is at the photo. face she was after is it? No, I've probably got locked in a cold bunker for a month for that. But mum always has a photo face. She still does her photo face. She's very dapper, your mum. She's very dapper, isn't she's got almost a beehive. And George is my favourite uncle. George has been a sort of a mainstay of our sort of family life for ages. I don't see him that much, but I've always loved me, Uncle George. Most people have a favourite. uncle or auntie. Yeah. But he was always just brilliantly in kid mode. He refused to sort of play adult.

Did he have kids? He's got, yeah, he had kids. He had them later than his sister did, is my mum. Right. Not until sort of, so he was still young and fun.

Yeah, he was just married there and, but he was going to have something in about sort of three or four years. Right. But, you know, I remember just sort of bouncing up and down on a bed with him, you know,

sort of matching off by me, auntie Pauline and I have one of my best memories is when I removed house in 1975 and I went to stay with George and Pauline while we mum and dad went down to Portsmouth to look for a new house and I was very sad because we had moved from Scotland and I'd left loads of pals behind and I just felt miserable and how old were you 15 you know it's a rotten time it's a rotten time to move and it was a It was a very beautiful summer, 1975, I remember,

and so I was staying at their place. And I remember we were watering the garden one night. And I sort of finally said to him, I was sad, I felt. And he said, there's an old Chinese wise man once said, this two will pass. And I don't know why, it's the most simplistic thing that you can say.

And it's kind of, and it probably is an old Confucian saying or an old Buddhist saying, but for some reason it really gave me an enormous amount of comfort. I suddenly realized that how bad I was feeling wasn't going to last forever. Yeah. It's funny how you can sort of cheer somebody up or change their frame of mind with just a few words sort of well-delined.

And so he's always done sort of things like that. Plus he sort of mucks around a lot. That summer there was a routine of putting the car away from the drive into the garage. And George would just pretend to be this absolute idiot. and he would fall asleep at the wheel and go backwards. It's quite dangerous really. Worth it for a laugh.

But night after night he'd do this. He'd fall out of the car. But Auntie Pauline was a bit more austere. What are you doing? And he'd go all sensible whenever she appeared. So George is a bit of a hero. Do you think that is the early kind of comedy enthusiasm? Yeah, maybe it is because he was always messing around

and doing silly faces. and laughing a lot. He just mucked around. So he more than mum and dad did really. Yeah, yeah. He's got a bit more of a joker. So, yeah, maybe there's a little subconscious influence there. So you grew up in Scotland and moved?

No, that was, and also I should say, actually, that Nan lived in Eldon Street. Oh, did she? Yeah, yeah. So that's where I got my name. That's where you took your name? Yeah, yeah, after a street. This is Jerry Hackett and the Fringes.

Okay, this band. Before that, I had been in a kind of, just before punk happened, sort of everyone was doing rock type stuff and just murdering Beatles songs. And then sort of punk came along and, you know, finally arrived in Gosport, Hampshire about 18 months later. And then we'd cut our hair and took our flares off for proper, thin trousers and we went out as a group called Virginia doesn't terrible name but we were absolutely appalling name but we did all right we got we got a peel session and you know and we

did a couple of supports and you're the frontman I was a frontman I was the singer and you're not doing covers now you're writing material we were both so we're doing both we were doing covers and writing our own stuff and then two people of that left and then we reformed with extra members we became the time which we were was kind of modish. We just trying to be the jam. And you supported the jam, didn't you? We supported Bad Manners and Joe Jackson.

Yeah, yeah. This is mad. Yeah, so we did all those kind of things and which was fun. What a laugh to be supporting those bands though. That must have been a wild time. Well, Bad Manners. Actually, I'll tell you about the Bad Manners gig, which it was Tolworth Sports Hall.

Yes, Tolworth's Recreation Centre. Yes. Yeah. Which is a cavern, an absolute cabin, where every tiny little sound re-echos around the place into eternity. So it wasn't acoustically brilliant. And their fans were legions of 12-year-old skins. Oh, wow.

Really? Bad manners? Yeah, that's who it was. Well, I only remember the Can Can. Do you know what I? They had a massive hit with the Can Can, didn't they, Bad Man? Yeah, and... I'm sure they had other material. Lip-up fatty and My Boy Lollipop.

or my girl Lollipot they might have changed it too. But anyway, so they didn't want to see us, the fans, and they give us a hard time. And then while we were in the changing room, Buster Blood Vessel walked into the changing room, and we thought, oh, it's him in the group off the telly, and stood at the other end of the dressing room, looking away from us, stood there,

didn't say a word for about a minute, and then walked out again. What? And it was the strangest thing. That's bizarre. What, giving you the side eye? Oh God, my daughter says that. He didn't actually give us the side eye.

But he didn't actually give us the side eye. He just kind of, I don't know what. Was it a power move? I don't. There was no need to do a power move. We were scared. There's never any need to do a power move. It doesn't stop people doing power moves.

There was, I don't think there was any malice intended whatsoever. It was just strange, a strange thing to do. And so off he went. And so, yeah, we did that. The jam never got. to see the jam. So you supported them but you never... Just one gig.

You support them at one show. And Joe Jackson, I mean, in those days usually a main band would have nothing to do with the support band. Yeah, they had separate everything. Although it was in fact Bruce Foxton, the bass player who saw us in a gig in Guildford and got us the gig.

And weirdly enough, about a year before, Paul Weller had seen as support in the vapors in London and had asked for a tape and taking that to John Peel. He was the one that got us the John Peel session. Oh, that's a pretty... I remember him saying, I like, I like, you bad. Got a lot of panache. And we're like, brilliant, brilliant.

And then... Panache on a poster! Yeah, what's panache? Because it was just... It's a new fragrance. Yes, it was the new fragrance then. Anyway, so... Five years, wasn't it, you all.

This is from about 76 to... I left score in 78. And then about 81, 82, everything sort of runs out of steam as far as we're concerned musically. And the death knell is new romantics. And I just think, that's, I mean, what's happened to music now? Robert Elms goes on television and says, I've seen the future of rock and roll.

It's spanned our ballet. Wrong, Robert. Absolutely wrong. And we didn't, and we tried going a bit. funky and we tried to go in maybe a tiny bit new romantic and we just thought my heart wasn't in it anymore and then I was on a train with an old drama teacher of mine and he said why don't you go to drama school and I said I can't possibly go to drama school he said why said because I'm too old and he said well you're 22 said you can go but prior to that moment had there been a desire to

be an actor or is this literally came out of nowhere in the bands I'd always written sketches so we'd done sketches in between and we'd get residences somewhere and I'd write sketches for the bands and we'd do sort of silly stuff in between numbers and I do, I suppose it was a kind of proto stand-up really And was everyone doing this or it was a rare thing unique to your band?

I think it was quite rare I think you had to be mean and cool really in the late 70s early 80s you had to be a bit tortured and just silently introduced the next number And how did these sketches go down at? Yeah, I can't imagine they went down a storm. Well we get these residences

We had a residency at the Salutation and this brilliant landlord, Fred, who'd come up and play trombone with us. And I would do the sketch there. And we had a residency in the summer of 79 where we were playing, this was our Hamburg. We played four or five hours a night, four nights a week, where we were just knocking out covers and our own songs.

And we had people coming along night after night. And we had to make it more interesting. We couldn't just do the same. songs so I'd started writing in sketches. What kind of stuff? What kind of material? Like characters? Yeah, characters and and sort of satires of adverts

and it was just silly stuff. And were you a comedy fan? Like where they're sort of... Right, so you were already sort of pulling influences from Monty Python or... I mean, you know, right from, I just, right from a kid, I just loved comedy. I absolutely loved it and I used to stick a cassette tape in front of the

telly of, you know, episodes of mash or stepto and son or dad's army and just listen to them over and over again and so it just I just thought I loved comedy and what it did to you and and the people who were involved and the process and I wondered you know what it was like to actually be the person doing that but it was a long time before I actually noticed the process because I just thought like everyone else that comedy just happened you know and almost that that once those characters weren't being the character They somehow just slumped to sleep. But it wasn't actors doing it.

But that must have been really exciting when you realised in the band, hang on, I can do comedy in the band and marry these two exciting things. And for it to get well received as well, it was really good fun. But anyway, after the music had died, to quote Don McLean, we were left with this mammoth. I decided I was going to go to drama school. So it was going to be about 18 months in the future I was going to go. We had this PA that we'd,

that we bought about two years before. And it was somebody attached to the band. It was their idea to get it. And it was an absolute fortune. And it was completely unsuitable. It was massive. Right. Okay, it was for townhors, not for pokey little pubs.

And, you know, the base stack, you know, took three people to load in. And then once we'd sort of put it into these tiny little pubs, there'd be this tiny little sort of hole for us to try and get all. the drum kit in her nose to sing and the thing about it, it was never any good anyway. It fed back, it just, it was rubbish. It was too big. I think it cost 2,000 sales.

Oh my God, where did you get 2 grand? I don't hope you sold it. But yes, so what we had to do is well, we sold it, but we still owed a massive amount on it. So what we did was, we thought, well, we're going to have to become a 60s covers band. So Jerry Hackett

and the Fringes was born. And we thought on these suits. A hump? More or less. Oh wow. Which we'd been paying off. Not an amp, a PA. A whole PA system. Yeah.

But, so we became the 60s band and the bookings came flooding in. And we learned all of the Mersey Beat songs. Right. We were all huge Beatles fans anyway. The Ruttles had been out. I was going to say was it pre-Ruttles. The Ruttles had been out. So we all adopted stage names.

So I was Jerry Hackett and Martin was Reg Fanny. and Phil was Lenny Blewett and the drama Bones was Matt Vinyl Well we cleared that debt in about six months Okay that's great

Because we're playing naval bases And we're playing working men's clubs So did you think, hang on Should we just stick with this And Def Off Drama School? No, no no The drama school date was set by then But we stuck with it

And there we were You know suddenly making I mean what we used to get For our pub gigs You know we take away five or each and then suddenly we were doing these gigs for 200 quid

working as clubs and we were in the money yeah what about whilst at drama school because there is that you know the way actors can sometimes be and how acting training

can be quite I don't know quite it doesn't accommodate punk bands and get to get comedy no you're learning Shakespeare and we're doing Iambic and we're doing it this way well we did yes we did that

but then I left drama school and having enjoyed it very much But then a couple of people in our year went into stand-up. And I thought, oh, well, that's interesting. And then there was lots of hanging around having left drama score. I mean, just nothing coming in whatsoever. But, I mean, you know, they were all up on this thing of,

you must remember that if you are 10 seconds later for a job, you will not work again. And it was, you know, I still remember in movement classes, the movement teacher having us dance across the hallway and with her going, and reach for that equity, card, rich with that equity card. I mean, she was for real.

Yes, I remember our movement class, our movement teacher, had, she was in a neck brace for most of the term, which isn't a great look for a movie. It's hard to take her seriously. So I did that and then started getting work, doing stand-up. And what I remember

is that within a sort of a month of doing it, I felt like I had sort of found my tribe. Such, such comradeship is forged on the circuit. I think you usually make a family of the people that you start off with and go through the golden years with.

I mean, because I've got people that are really, really close friends that I've known now for 30 years off the circuit. And they'll be friends for the rest of my life. I mean, there's a handful of those. But there again, there's a wider swath of loads of comedians that I will always be delighted to see. I'll always be delighted to have a pint with and catch up with and all that.

It's really, really lovely. And could you have preempted that those people would go on to have, like, employment opportunity? Like, oh, you couldn't be invited onto their sketch show. And that's another great thing that's come out of the circuit. You've been in every brilliant sketch show through the 90s, certainly. Well, I was really, really lucky starting out because as I was starting out,

all these people were starting to get their own radio shows and TV shows and they needed actors and they'd rather ask them on that they'd been up the motorway with, you know, 10 times than somebody from Spotlight. So did you want to do that? So you're obviously like to say that happened to me. Yeah. So that's working with Steve Coogan,

Chris Morris, who I mean just goes on and on and on. Obviously Leon Herring. Yeah, yeah. It's just a crazy amount of fantastic, like, I don't know, just like, loads of it. Incredible shows that we've all watched, were really important and formative, certainly to me as a comedian,

watching them. Big Train is like such a massive part of my love. I mean, there are so many sketches that you can still quote from Big Train. And, you know, so for me, like, when I look at your career, I look at it with like just awe, but also envy because I think, what an incredible, what an incredible schmorgasbord of, like, things to be involved with and also such incredible talent that you've been working with over decades. Yeah, but I was really, really lucky. I mean, but there was an actual golden period from sort of about 95 to early 2000s

where it was nonstop, very, very, very good stuff. We've got a lovely picture of Sean Locke here. I took this. We were, it's ages ago, too. We were in Indonesia. We went to Indonesia and we went with Bill and his wife, Chris. and it was quite an adventure. On holiday or working?

On holiday they went into the jungle and I joined them later and we mostly stayed well off the beaten track and went to beautiful exotic islands. I remember being on an exotic island with Sean and Anushka's wife and Bill and Chris and Dave Johns had come along. I was going to say that's an interesting edition. And we were sitting there one night and looking across the bay and sort of drinking a beer.

And there were parrots in the sky. And across the bay was an extinct volcano, which was due to start in a couple of years' time. And, you know, the sun was going down. We just heard Dave going, this beer's a bit flat on it? Absolutely classic Dave John's Dave I can never go You're in paradise Dave Dave

Dave What's up to phone about What? She never comes out So But we had a great time there And the only time we We weren't on the

You know Off the beating track We went to a hard rock cafe Which they had over there I don't know if you remember They're hard rock Yes They were everywhere

Yeah I think I had my 13th birthday tea there Oh you're lucky Okay Well we decided to have some you know, beer and burgers and cheapen ourselves. And they did, as you can see, what they do in there is they have shit statues of bad pop stars.

Who's that meant to be? Who is that meant to be? Who is it? Well, exactly. This is Roy Orbison. Now, that could be... It doesn't look like Roy Orbison. That could be, they're all like that.

It could be Ronnie Barker, actually. Oh, they were anyway. Okay, that's Ronnie Barker. That's Ronnie Corbett. That's Little out of Little and Large. That's John Major, I think. Eric Morecam. but anyway

I think Why was this picture? Why did Sean say Take my picture with this? I think probably because it's so shit He thought he looks for it. He can do the face Which he's doing with it with the glasses And the smile. He's got that exactly He's nailed that

But anyway that Just Sean was a fantastic Guy and he's a really good mate And I miss him like mad And we were He's very missed isn't he? He is, he's missed He's hugely missed

And he was It was just hilarious Oh, he was a comedy genius without a doubt. He was funny. No one's brain worked like Sean. I know, I know. And he was funny face to face too. And he was also very thoughtful and very wise too.

And, you know, you could ask advice from him about lots of things. And he was very insightful. And, you know, you would as much talk about comedy as you would about art or politics or philosophy. Yeah. And he was just a big presence. And also just a contrarian, such a terrible contrarian. You know, if you said one thing, you'd just argue the other. But that's how he got to where he got with his comedic brain.

Yeah. He would find himself in, you know, it's kind of like brain gymnastics, isn't it? It is brain. Do you think that? Then if I offer this, then what all we find? Yeah, exactly. And he would, he would die on any hill, you know, sort of argumentatively. It's like a debater's, you know, debating skills, isn't it?

Yes, it's dogmatic. But the thing is, though, it wouldn't just be, no, I'm right. He would use logic and he would use facts and all those things that you don't get in debates these days. Right. And he could just leave it and then he's got me in a half Nelson here. I'm not going to move. That's it. I'm not going to move at all.

Let's look at your last photo then. Yes. Let's go check it out. This is my only. This is more comedians. Man Boy one actually. This is, I'm in another band. This is just a once a year get-together for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

And what they do is they... Oh, is this at the album? No, no, it's... You go into a studio as a band. You record a track and it goes on a big CD that then people can buy online. And each year there's a third. It'll be usually a band, you know, one year is do a jam track or do a clash track or do a genre track. And Harry Pye, who's a very good artist.

Yeah. He got together, Uslot, who are a couple of members of, one member of Damned and one member of the specials and put them together and were called Spammed. and you have in this picture here you have the wonderful Horace Panta who's a bassist with the specials who's just fantastic and next to him Rats Scabies from the Damned

and then all the others are well you've got Neil Innis there from the Bonzo Dog Doodoo Dar band and the Ruttles as well and then to his right guitarist John Klein and to the right of

of Horace you have Terry Edwards who is a fantastic sax player and then on the far right also Christine Young is a brilliant singer and then my stupid face there Mikko Fleetwood he's a very good guitarist and songwriter and on the left you have the producer Tony Visconti he produced all those Bowie albums

and all that's extraordinary. He's a huge producer it's absolutely massive producer so we did get it on and we did it pretty much much like the original, as close as we could get it. Did you sing? And I sang. I was freaking out a bit when it came to doing the vocals. I was thinking, my God.

Channel that Bowen. The last time that he did this was 50 years ago, and it was Mark Boland doing it brilliantly. And I did one take, and he came into the booth, and I don't remember what it was, but he said something to me. He gave me a note, like a director would give an actor a note, and it's a way you're singing this song

and he said something about how you were singing this song to this girl and it really means, I can't remember the way he phrased it, but he said the right thing and then we did it again and I did an okay take. I relaxed basically. It was a good note. That's a lot of stress. That's a lot of pressure. Quite a lot of pressure as well.

Thinking about who's in the band, who the producer is. I know. But the thing about Visconti, too, as you can see a big smiley face is you couldn't meet them all down to earth. fella. I'm sure it's just a really, really nice great. Thank you so much for coming on. It's been a pleasure. Thank you for having me. It's been brilliant stories.

Oh, thanks a lot. I'm getting into the Christmas spirit now. Have you got your tree up? No, have you? We've got the tree, we've got to. It's the first weekend. When the kids are young. Do you always get it up?

No, well, we did, when, I mean, before pre-kids, we'd stick it up Christmas Eve and take it down Boxing Day. but obviously now they're like Christmas and stuff it's like the end of November Christmas so we've got the lights I'm getting the hall decorated

so it's a bit chaotic here but when they finish the trees going in probably next weekend oh yeah next week do you know what once the tree goes up you're like Christmas is here

yeah that bit's nice I like it once we get into December it can absolutely fuck off in November no thank you no thank you but once we're into December hello Also, straight after New Year's Day, take that stuff down. There's a neighbour of ours that keeps the Christmas tree up well into the end of January.

Oh no, that's not good. That's psychotic, right? In fact, it's bad luck, in fact. I mean, whether you go in through all that luck shit. But you're not meant to keep it up. Well, apart from anything else, it's weird. Take it down. Christmas is over.

January 26th, and you've still got the tree up. I mean, I think there needs to be an intervention. Maybe this year I'll pop around and go, can we have a word? Yeah, no, I agree. You're right. I don't want to walk past your house and see your Christmas tree 26th of January. Okay, I could cope 26th of November. Would that make you more angry than seeing one?

Oh, really? That's what I was about to ask you. Okay, so you're less inclined to access Fury if it goes up in mid-November. If it goes... Well, mid-November is a bit more. All right, then, what date is reasonable? Well, I saw one definitely up in mid-November, and it really intents to me. I think mid-November, but if you're putting up 27th, 28th of November, I'm like, okay, fine.

You're keen. You're keen. Okay. Okay. Why is that keenness allowed before the old Christmas? Because it's still on the lead up to Christmas, so you can still kind of go, oh, it hasn't happened yet. But you're not, oh, da, da, da, da, did.

I don't want to hear, did, did, did. I don't want to hear Mariah Carey or Slade. Right. Basically, after Christmas Day. You poo-poo that. I poop poop. There you go again with the old poo-pooh. What I think would be great is if you go around.

A lovely gift under the tree. If you go around knocking on people's doors I think your mind has gone past the Christmas season if you'd like to take that tree down otherwise I'll be defecating I will be doing a double poo-poo If you find two little gifts under your tree You're like, what are those?

Those are my turns Also, Brighton is a different vibe Like have you got anyone round your way That goes fully mental with lights And like, you know, fall Vegas Yes, there's. a couple of places that we'll take the kids to that go full Vegas. Okay, because there's one,

our kids walk past it every day to Scott on the way to school and they have, they go, it's total Blackpool Illumination. Yeah, yeah. And this year, they've got an old beetle car, you know, the little bug, herbie bug car, parked outside the house with the Grinch

in it as a mannequin, sitting, driving it. Okay. It's got all loads of presents stuffed in the back and a tree on the top. It's like a kind of installation. Right. Okay. parked on the street outside their house. I mean, I'm into it. Fair enough.

I like it. Do it. If you're doing it, go large. But I don't want to see it. January 2nd. Yeah, forget it. No, I don't want to see that. Take it down.

Isn't the law anyway, and I think it is a law, 12 days, 12 days of Christmas, and then boom, down, goodbye, over, Hoover up the pin needles out. But actually the 12th day of Christmas ends on the 6th of January, so you are allowed to keep it up until then. Yeah, but I still poo-poo that. You take it down New Year's Day.

Yeah, I take it down. Chloe's like, wants to take it down Boxing Day. I'm like, no, we have to keep it up until a new year. It's weird. I have very strict rules, don't I, about when you can and can't. It's a very, I've arbitrarily made these decisions in my head, and now we must all stick to these things that I've made up in my head. Do what you like.

It's your Christmas, for heaven's sake. But that is like, you know, that is, that's fine. I think we all have to have boundaries. I mean, they're very random boundaries, but yeah, they are, isn't. They're a tiny bit joyless. Can I just say that, you know, for the Christmas season? Thanks, Kerry. I like, I mean, they're not like, you know,

Wasail with Brista. It's very much not live and let live, is it? It's very much, this is how I do it. Right, back it in, it's all over. The fun is over. I mean, listen, I'm 100% behind it. This is very much. I like fun to be bullet pointed 100%.

Yes. And what I'm going to try to do this year is really is not go down a wormhole of merriment. By that. No, don't. Resist that. I'm going to really pull, I'm going to drag myself out of that.

And I'm going to really make sure that any fun is itemized. That's absolutely idiot. And clip. Yeah. It's too much fun. Let's end. edit that back, pull it back, pull it back,

and now rest. Oh, it sounds great. It's a fun times. It's a fun times in our house. All the Christmas films were on, which I hate. And what's your favourite? You hate all of them. I don't hate all of them.

I like them up. It's Christmas Carol. I don't hate all of them. The ones that I like, I love, but how many, how many Christmas films are good? I don't know. Elf, that's a great one. Lovely. Bill Murray's Scrooge. Oh, Scrooge.

Yeah, that's in my top three. That's an absolute classic. Those are all really good. So Uncle Buck. Quite like the holiday. Quite like the holiday. Quite happy to watch a double rom-com. The holiday.

The holiday. Kate Winslet. Oh my God. That is one of the worst films ever made. But once you let it in, once you let it in. No, I can't let that in. In fact, as it comes in, I'm poo-pooing it. I can't do it.

Oh God. I like it. What about It's a Wonderful Life? Oh, yes, yes, absolute classic. In fact, I love that film. And nobody thinks I do, but I do. I really love that film. Even though there's absolutely no women in that movie. I don't know if you've noticed that.

Oh, there is. What about Mary? Do you want the moon, Mary? Do you want the moon? I'll lasoo it for you. Yeah, that was really good. Slightly discombobulating. Scrooge is in my, Scrooge's my top three as well.

And the elf, I think, might be up there. Those are all the classics. So for our listeners, if you're looking for some recommends. You've probably never heard of any of those. Yeah, these are obscure little gems of independent, that we've drilled down to find you to the gold. You're welcome. Merry Christmas.

I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress?

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