Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S02 E24: Laura Checkley

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

We didn't have a prize... So we did a caricature... No arms but tits The wonderful, brilliant and incredibly funny Laura Checkley takes us through a few of her photos from a life of making people sm...ile and laugh. Photo 01 - Family Holiday Photo 02 - Working with Cilla Black Photo 03 - Caricature Photo 04 - King Gary Bus Photo 05 - Laura's wedding day Photo 06 - My brilliant nan PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:03 Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. How are your Christmas gigs going? Are they festive? Oh, they're fun, really fun. This tour is really, you know, what I've realized
Starting point is 00:00:41 is when somebody does everything else and you just have to turn up and do the show, why don't I... What a great job. What a wonderful thing. Sounds jeremy, I'm quite jealous. I think actually, if I were to work at Christmas, that would be the way I'd want to do it,
Starting point is 00:00:58 because you're not doing clubs and you're not doing tour shows. I'm in the theatre. But you are doing stand-down. You're in beautiful theatres. Yeah, I think that sounds like a lovely. In lovely venues with audiences that are in such a good mood. Yeah, and well-behaved.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Well-behaved, Christmas music, Christmas trees on the stage. Go on, what was you going to say about this? I'll just, you probably, as soon as it got booked in, you won't want to do it. I'd love to do it. I'm not gigging at all at all at the moment. Shall I tell you what my, where I've been doing? Yeah. Colchester, Kingston, Brighton.
Starting point is 00:01:33 That's lovely. Today I'm off to Norwich. Then we're going to Birmingham. Then we're going to Warwick. Then we're going to Bath. Then we're going to Cambridge. Do you still want to do it? And you're doing all that before Christmas? Yeah, I haven't finished. Then we go to Guilford. Then we go to Cheltenham. Then we go to Liverpool. Then we go to Manchester. Do you still want to do it? Hang on. That doesn't even, that's like you've bent time. How are you going to do all of that prior to Christmas? It's nearly Christmas. Yeah. Well, I can do all. of that prior to Christmas because I am. But that's more days than... It's not what day.
Starting point is 00:02:09 I mean, I'm not great at Matt. Well, you're not. But you just said more places than there are days left until Christmas. I said the right, the correct amount of days for the... So you're literally doing two shows a day between now and the 25th of December? No, I'm doing a show a day. I finish on the... Every day.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Yeah, pretty much every day. I got two days off. It's like you're in Panto. I am. It's like I'm in Panto. It's a stand-up comedy version of Panto, except we're also, we're not in one place. We bob about. travel together like a band? No, not so far.
Starting point is 00:02:37 But... That'd be fun if you had a tour bus and people threw up on it and watched... Why would that be fun? Films. I don't know. Sometimes I think, what, what, are you on a parallel universe? Well, I've got a lot of time.
Starting point is 00:02:49 You've got a lot of time. My imagination is like gone, it's gone on stairs. I'm going on a tour bus with Josh Pugh, Ed Gamble and Fern Brady. Yeah, we're all throwing up and drinking. Yeah, no, that does seem like...
Starting point is 00:03:02 We're like having a tour bus. a preet and bitching about someone on the circuit that we don't like yeah that's what we're doing but otherwise you're enjoying it yes i am enjoying it uh it's fun that's great yeah yeah and the only downer is i've got zero days uh till christmas to do my shopping so i'm very much squirrelling on the online oh but everyone's doing it online now i've done a tiny bit in the real world and frankly it's bloody awful so just do it online yeah i mean there was a couple of things I wanted to get for Chloe, which I can't get online. Anyway, that's just, you know, that's not, it's not podcast fodder. That's just for you and I to have a chat afterwards.
Starting point is 00:03:41 But, um, it's like QVC. This is QVC chat. It's, it's shocking. It's got QVC. Do you know what? It's got QVC. Have you ever thought about presenting on QVC? I think you've got, what are you talking about. Okay, is that where we are now? Is that what I've arrived at? Is that where my career's at now? That's what you're suggesting to me now. That I get a presenting job on QVC. No, but shifting your gear. Let's think about what you could sell on QVC. I'm a trained actor. Exactly. So you can act and pretend to be a presenter on QVC. This is the beauty of being an actor, Kerry, is that you can be anything. You don't, don't limit yourself. This is your problem. I don't want to be a presenter on QVC. What about it? It's not what I dream of. Yeah, but it's like a guest
Starting point is 00:04:26 presenter. I mean, it would be fun. And also, you could sell the things that you would like to buy. I can totally see that. I mean, in fact, I'm totally invested in this. Like what? I don't know, like, embroidery kit. A key worker. A key worker to help me with my...
Starting point is 00:04:41 Keyworker self-help books for any kind of technology. Yeah. Garden tools. Gardening. Pottering around with a potterer. Potter with Kerry. And then you'd go... I don't like where this conversation is going.
Starting point is 00:04:56 It's like, you go out into the world being a comedian and I stay at home on QVC. selling middle-aged lady shit. Look, I don't like this. It's all going to turn around next year, though. That's why I'm really invested in rubbing this salt in the wounds now because I know next year what your projects are. So I am allowed, actually.
Starting point is 00:05:18 And I tell you what, the downside of my projects for next year. So I'm doing a thing at the moment, which is whitening my teeth. And I'm in agony. What? What? What? Well, my teeth are on the edge of being yellow. And, you know, maybe the passing of Shane McGowan was in.
Starting point is 00:05:32 for this week me saw it my teeth out. I'm like, come on. Come on, Kel. Do your teeth. Are you going to, what's happening with your teeth? They're going to be like, or they're going to go blue? No, they're not like that. I've thought it through.
Starting point is 00:05:46 I've talked it through with a human that I trust. And she just said, just do a couple of weeks and it will lift it a bit. But it won't be, I won't be. You're not going to be like UV teeth. No, it's not that. I'm not going in that direction. But, and I'm only using a very tiny bit to take the sort of yellowy kind of. shame vibe off.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Right. And it's fucking agony. Is it? Does it hurt? It's really sensitive. I feel really like, oh, I've really made some bad life choices. I really need to get busier because this is what you do when you've got too much time on. Kerry, can I tell you what happens?
Starting point is 00:06:18 You're white and your teeth. I know a woman that plucked all her eyebrows out because she just had too much time on her hands. Do you know what? I did. I took a bit too much off from the sides here. Yeah, it's dangerous. I got an email from a company in Turkey, a dental company, asking you if I'd like to go to Turkey
Starting point is 00:06:33 to have my teeth done. Of course I'm not going to go. Yeah, because they'll take your liver out or something. You know about that woman that went for a boob job and they took a liver out. What? That happens. People go, they go under anaesthetic,
Starting point is 00:06:46 they go for cosmetic surgery and they whip out a liver and sell it on the black market. I don't think that that's something that's regularly happening. It's happened though. I don't doubt that. You can't wake up without a liver. So she was just presumably she died.
Starting point is 00:07:00 She had backache. She had a bit backache, but she had great tits, but she had a bit of backache. You'd put that down to your tits, wouldn't you? Well, they're a bit bigger, that's why my back. You go, yeah, well, no, I'm a different shape now. It must feel it in my lower back. And she got home and it just wouldn't shake that backache. And then she went to the doctor, and there was a big scar up her back,
Starting point is 00:07:17 and he went, you've had a kidney whipped out. You just said the liver earlier. Liver. What's the one you've got two of? That's kidneys. That's why it's what. I did say I'm not a doctor. Anyway, so.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Anyway, they whipped out a kidney. Right. Okay. Well, that's something to bear a mind. Just be careful with those emails from Turkey, baby. Okay, all right. I'm just here for you. Yeah, I know. I feel the support. It's really, it's kind of emanating out from this Zoom screen. When do you stop working, Christmas Eve? No, last show is the 21st. Okay. I still don't understand how you've got all those towns squished into a week.
Starting point is 00:07:52 It's, okay, here we go. It's the 12th. All right? So I've got like another nine dates or something. Fucking hell. Will this year ever end? How can it still only be the 12th? I feel like the opposite. I feel like the opposite. This year is just flown by. I resent how quickly this year has gone. I feel like it.
Starting point is 00:08:08 We've had very different years, babe. It's just gone like that. Yeah, that's true. You've had enough. You've had a, you've had a, what, a leisurely. I've had a very restful year. Yeah, you've had a restful year. So who are we talking to this week?
Starting point is 00:08:22 Our guest this week is the absolutely fantabulous, wonderful, hilarious, talented and brilliant, Laura Checkly, whom I adore. Laura's moving to Brighton. Well, no, we're thinking about it. Claire's like a bit like... Kerry. Laura's moving. She doesn't sound like she is.
Starting point is 00:08:47 She is actually. Everyone's thinking about it. I don't know. Doesn't mean you have to. I want to go Brighton. Be original. Laura, don't go down to Brighton. What a cliche.
Starting point is 00:08:58 She's been talking about, Kerry's been talking about moving to Brighton for like. How long? Decades. Yeah. But we now know that you're not moving to Bright. West Norwood is lovely. Yeah, West Nor was lovely. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:09:06 It's lovely. Yeah. Sure. Or Brighton. Well, I love Brighton. I'm sorry. It's Claire. Oh, she doesn't want to.
Starting point is 00:09:13 We're working on Claire. It's a couple of years time. She's 10 years younger, so she's got a bit like, oh, hold on, I'm not ready yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got energy. She wants to still go out. I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Brighton's good for going out. But this thing is a Canadian. You need to bring the octet down. It's organised it. Oh, yeah. You're going to that 90s night. Yeah. I'm not going because I'm working.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Yeah. What, a 90s night? So it's really fun. So it's 90s, but they play it live. So it's with a band. Is that the man we saw at Glastonbury? Yeah. But they do a different, thematically, they do different.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Function band and they play all the tunes. They play all the tunes. And they play, it's all like, so sometimes they do drum and bass. Sometimes they do 90s house music. Sometimes they'll do like pop sort of stuff. More like housey, popy house. It wasn't the music I was listening to in the 90s. When you said, let's go to your 90s band,
Starting point is 00:10:05 I thought it was all really blowing. No, it's not blurring a waces. No, it's for, it's dance music. Oh, no. That's exactly. You're going to really hate it then, because that's what it is. I don't mind how I felt. I'm up for a bit of garage, but, oh no.
Starting point is 00:10:21 I actually feel like this is an error. But we're saying at Susie and Alice itself. Do you know what? It's live. It's really fun. Yeah. And they're brilliant. And they bring a lot of energy and it's like,
Starting point is 00:10:32 well, I can't, now, I'm, I want to be able to say to you, oh, it's like music like this. but now I can't think of a single track. It's right on time. It's not right on time. I don't mind about that. But that is that kind of genre. Yeah, it's like that.
Starting point is 00:10:48 That's the same song. That's the same song. You just sang another thing. I know, I know. They were called black box, weren't they? They were called black box. And in fact, that really reminds me for a particular time. A bunch of nannas.
Starting point is 00:11:00 We're all singing the same song. Not that one, this one. Right on time. It's the same one. Can you get a... How do you believe it? That one. You're absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:11:11 It was the same song. Right. Let's have a look at your photos. Which one should we start with? I think this one. Is this a family picture, Laura? Here on a beach. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:27 So that, there I am, front and centre. You're the little one in the little matching. With your hand on your hip? Yeah, hand on the hip. We've all got moccasins on. Have a close look. Even my mum. I reckon we've got them too.
Starting point is 00:11:38 for one or something. Do you know what I mean? We're in Greece. I said to my mum last night, where are we? We in Portugal, every time we say Portugal, we go, oh no, because we had a Christmas in Portugal, which we all hated. And my mum said, I will never go away again, ever.
Starting point is 00:11:53 There's nothing wrong with it. It just wasn't, we have big raucous kind of cockney knees up Christmases, and we've carried that on since my nan died, really. Yeah. And we have a rule of like no telly at Christmas because we like to, like, at 7pm, we whack the tunes on, we have a kitchen dish. disco and even if we're all really flagging.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah, yeah. And it's like, that's it. It's like a proper night out. And any partners I've had have gone, oh, listen, our Christmases are really boring. You're like, ours are mad. The 90s, Gilling, Broadway, Bonobard. Literally.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Under 17's race. Here we go. So that's my brother on the far left. And then next to him is my step sister Sam. There's my mum in the middle, gay with an knee. And then Lucy on the outside. They're my two stepsisters. But they're not twins.
Starting point is 00:12:38 They're not twins. Their mother just used to insist on dressing them in the same thing, which they fucking hated so much. I never understood kids dressing the same. Was that like an 80s thing? This was about 86, 87. I think that happens a lot. And also... Well, it does happen with twins, which I think is on the edge of being cruel.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Yeah. Because you're like, you're making life much more complicated. Everybody, who's who? Yeah. It's, yeah, I think... But they're not even twins. It's like two years apart. I love those dresses.
Starting point is 00:13:00 I remember those dresses. Yeah. And I love that one of them's with about, one of them's without. Sure. Well, that's probably her, you know, going like, I want to be different. But yeah, I don't know. what this, I think it was me saying sexy pose, which is, I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Sexy pose everyone and Sam's looking at Lucy, are you doing it or not? Should I do it? I think my mum's like mid, I feel like she's going to commit there. She's got the hand on the hip, but yeah, that was, and we went on this holiday. And yeah, it was, my mum met Ian, my stepdad when I was like three. I'm about six or seven there, so they've been together a few years. How did you feel having new step-siblings? Oh, I loved it. Did you?
Starting point is 00:13:40 Oh my God, they came every summer and every Christmas. I just wanted to be like them. I was so desperate to be northern. I just thought they were really cool. Yeah, yeah. So they're from Yorkshire. Yeah. He and my stepdad, he's a Scouser,
Starting point is 00:13:52 but he was based, he met his ex-wife in Yorkshire because he was based there with the army. And then obviously they split up and he met my mum in an under 30s single bar. Say them all. I know. Where was that? In Bracknell.
Starting point is 00:14:08 In Bracknell? Yeah, so I was born in Bracknell. Was he based then sort of round in Aldershot, Wales? He left the army. No, no, Edel. Because Bracknell's a big army town, isn't it? No, that's Aldershot. Aldershot.
Starting point is 00:14:18 It's probably close. Is it close? It's not really, actually. I don't know why I said that, but they're both sort of west. So we didn't keep that being down. I was going, yeah. I was going, yeah. And I was born there.
Starting point is 00:14:30 I was born, I was born in Ascot. And then we moved to Hounslow when I was like six or seven. And, yeah, and I was, I don't really remember Bracknell at all. I mean, there's nothing to remember. No, no. I've also got one of these memories where it's almost like the Mandela effect, right, because I said to my mum,
Starting point is 00:14:50 do you remember when like I fell down, I trod on that big teddy I had in my arms, I trot on its foot and I fell down the stairs. And she went, that weren't you? That was your brother. And I'm that person where you'll tell me a story and then six months later. That's your story.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Yeah, I'll tell you that story back and you go, I'll fucking told you that. I'm not. That's really bad. Claire's like just don't tell stories Make it positive You're probably like never went into doing stand up You're absorbing the memories
Starting point is 00:15:15 I'm terrible at a story I'm terrible at telling a story So this could be a load of old shit Are you even in Greece in this picture? Who knows, Kerry? Who knows? Nora, I don't think of you as being bad at telling the story
Starting point is 00:15:26 I think of you as been very good at holding court Oh do you? Only when I've had a drink Yeah Only have had a drink You've had a little tricky wine Yeah
Starting point is 00:15:35 So are you still Are your, is your mum still together with your steps out are they still? Yeah, yeah. And you're still close with your siblings? Yep, yep. So Sam now lives near my mum. Lucy's up in Yorkshire.
Starting point is 00:15:48 But Sam's really, really close. And her, she's got, well, she's got like a 25 year old now. Oh my God. And she's just had a kid. So my sister's a nan at 49. Wow. Holy moly.
Starting point is 00:16:00 I'm a great aunt, yeah. That's mad, isn't it? Yeah. So big family, you've always, yeah, and close. Yeah, yeah. Do you think that's sort of shaped who you are, like, Yeah, I'm, I'm contributing to who you are. You're very social animal, I think of you as being, you're very good in a group.
Starting point is 00:16:17 You can sort of slot yourself in and I don't feel like you're like, what, I don't know, I'm going to manage this sort of. Although I don't feel like that. I'm quite, I don't know, I feel like I'm quite shy at the beginning. Like I feel a bit, yeah, like I take a while to get going. But, yeah, I am social. I was just saying to Claire, Claire, who's my wife, that I was feeling a bit burnt out earlier
Starting point is 00:16:39 because I feel like I do do too much sometimes I can fill my diary all the time with just fucking nonsense like... Yeah, but we all do that. Are you talking about this podcast? She just called this podcast nonsense. And I really feel like that's a really fair call.
Starting point is 00:16:55 I was doing a fucking podcast on Tuesday, what was? I was just up here doing my Christmas shopping so I thought why not stop off. I'll pop in, I'll get a cup of tea out of it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's not exactly necessary work. Big family, big family. My mum's got a brother, two sisters, they've all got kids.
Starting point is 00:17:10 And you all grew up together, saw each other, went in the holidays together. Yeah, my nan used to do a massive Christmas with all of us, like cooked for 20 odd people. Then we'd go down the old oak club and then she'd come back and do a buffet for everyone. I really feel like I missed out on all this sort of stuff. We definitely did any of that when I was growing up. Did you not like, did you have any like, I don't know, like working men's clubs that you went to? And like, I was often asleep on like a booth seat like this with a coat. thrown over me and everyone was dancing.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Didn't really do that sort of thing. It's a brilliant place, you know, like we went one night to watch Michael Bubele up the cricket club and he looked like Phil Mitchell and my mum kept spent in her eyes. Not being Michael Buebley. No, it was sorry, a tribute act, Michael Bouget. Michael Bouget
Starting point is 00:17:54 was not at Uxbridge cricket club. See, I'm here telling a story, shit at telling a story, I left out the main bit, is a tribute act. I got it. Michael Bucle. Yeah, no, no, tribute act. But he looked like Phil Mitchell, but my Mum was like, if you just squint your eyes a little bit, he does actually look like himself. Her and my auntie, Chris, would just sat there like that.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Yeah, I think I did cataracts for him to look like Michael Blue Blamey. So, yeah, so it's, yeah, that was big family, big family. I knew all my nan's neighbours. She lived around the back of Wormwood Scrubs Prison. And so he's at, East Acton. Oh, is it? So my nan's house used to literally, you could, just to the right, you could see Wormwood Scrubs Prison. You can hear him shouting out if you were, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:35 that close. I was playing football out on the scrubs and stuff. But I spent a lot of time at my nans because when my mum left my dad and stuff, it was it was tricky. How old were you? I was really young, like a baby still like,
Starting point is 00:18:52 I think 18 months. Oh God, that must have been really tough for your mum. What, two kids on the own? He was an alcoholic. He's dead now. He was an alcoholic and, you know, she had bailiff's showing up at the door and stuff. And yeah, and then she met Ian and, and Ian's an incredible man but it's been a journey
Starting point is 00:19:07 with Ian he's had terrible post-traumatic stress which we've all had to deal with over the years. From the army, yeah, yeah. He served in Ireland. Right. So that is messy and horrible. No, no, no. No one talks about that.
Starting point is 00:19:18 He just chucked him out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, half the people he knows now are the dead or on the streets. Like, it's awful. It's just so awful. And also he just went into the army because I think if he didn't, he'd have ended up in prison. He was a scally and he was one of 18, my stepdad.
Starting point is 00:19:33 17, sorry. Oh my God. The youngest of seven. 17 children, yeah. That's a big old, I'm assuming Irish. Yeah, Catholic. Catholic Irish family in Liverpool. Yeah, so it was, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:43 So that must have been tricky for him to go out to Northern Ireland, coming from a Catholic Irish family. Very tricky. Because to be working out there, I mean, like, that is, I don't know, that must have been really difficult. Yeah, but also, they'll be brainwashed in the army, told to think a certain way, you know. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:20:03 And there's no context where it would be pushed back. or talked about it's just not the culture of no he doesn't although he did have therapy went away for a while and had therapy and he really sorted he really sorted himself out when we finally realised what was wrong with him right he thought he was going mad blessing but um yeah and he's really open about it
Starting point is 00:20:20 he talks about it he's really open but now we live in a world but now we live in a world where there are there's language for it there is PTSD and mental health and you know there's just there wasn't he wouldn't have had the words to even express my god no no and we didn't know so
Starting point is 00:20:35 Yeah, so they were up and down. So I was at my nans a lot. My nans house felt like home to me. Yeah. Yeah. So when she died, she just had a council house and no one bought it for her. I think at one point they could have bought it for like seven grand. And they all kick themselves to not like, you know, mucking in and just buying it.
Starting point is 00:20:53 So when she went, it felt like the home had gone. Yeah. Because we moved around a lot because Ian lost a load of money and then we got rehoused. And we had to, yeah. So it was, we ended up in a council flat, me and my mum and then, so my nans was like salvaged. So I haven't really got a home home that I go back to. Like my mum's moved to Oxford now. Mum and Ian, they're very happy.
Starting point is 00:21:15 But I go back there, it's not my house. Yeah, yeah. No, and you've got no connection to the area. No, no. So when I go back to West London, yeah, it's like the old stomping ground. And so if I go around near my nans and then my dad, my biological dad, he lived around the corner from his mom lived around the corner. And that's how my mum and him met. Well, they met down the old oak club.
Starting point is 00:21:34 So that's where everyone met up, I think, back then. But yeah, so that's good time. Is this where you met Silla Black? I want to talk about this photograph, actually, because, um, look at it. That's not, that's not anything on her shoulder. I think there's a bit of the photos come away. Oh, right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:00 We weren't at a phone party. That's how my mum. Downealing Boulevard. Is it the angle's a bit weird? What's going on the house of mirrors? But the hair? So that's not my hair. It's a wig.
Starting point is 00:22:10 So let me take you back. I'm about 10 here. And I, so when I grew up in Hounslow, my mate, Lisa, I was playing out in the estate. And she said, there's a dance school around the corner. Do you want to go? So we went and we stumbled upon it. And it was fairly cheap to go to my mum. So my mum said yes.
Starting point is 00:22:27 And it was Bonnie Langford's mum's dance school. Oh. This is a famous place. Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's called the Young Set. But we just call it Babets because it's Babets. because it's Babette Lankford, Bonnie Lankford's mum's dance school.
Starting point is 00:22:39 So I bowl up there and I'm, so there's a real mixture of some working class kids, but a lot of middle class and posh kids. Yeah, all from, you know, private schools or just fucking money, you know. And I wasn't aware of my class till I went here. And I was like, oh, wow. And I remember like day two or something, or week two of me going there, Bonnie Lankford bowls in with a fur jacket and does a dance routine with us. I've got to fucking stay here.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Things are happening here. Bonnie Langford's here. She goes down here. She goes down here, but she would then get sort of professional jobs in. And this was, I think I'd only been there about a year. So it's a bit like Sylvia Young's in that. A little bit, yeah, but part time, a lot of charity work. And dancing, not acting.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Dancing. And it didn't matter. You didn't learn any technique. It was just, you know, tits and teeth. Go, right. So like, one, two, three. Literally, my foot was like an old kipper, but, you know, up here was great. What did you mean?
Starting point is 00:23:33 You didn't get, well, they didn't actually give you any dance. Dance three teams. You've got to keep up and fucking do it. That's it. It was like... What kind of dance school doesn't it? It's just doing shows. You just do shows and you just perform.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Like, and go again. Again. It's like fucking, it was honestly... Give me some direction. What I did it? Have we got any sense of choreography? You're all terrible, was the direction. You're all terrible.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Do it again. So it was pretty strict and I mean, she wouldn't get away with Arthur stuff now. But my mate Lisa lasted a couple of weeks. She went, I'm gone. I don't like it. I don't think I'm wrong. But you dug it.
Starting point is 00:24:04 I, yeah, and also I recognise where I met one of my best mates, Ellie, who was a child actor at the time. She was the first ever Fairy Liquid kid, you know, mummy's going to be very cross with you. And I recognise, I thought that girl's off tell you. Oh my God. I've got to fucking get friends with that girl. Right. I just from, yeah, I just, I always wanted to perform, you know, I always wanted to do comedy. And this was an inn.
Starting point is 00:24:25 It just felt like things were happening here. And so they said, oh, we do pantos at Christmas. Yeah. And this, you know, we do them at Richmond Theatre. So she owned it all, like, her kids were like the best. and then they'd do pantos and we'd get a fiver a week in an envelope I don't know what cut she was getting
Starting point is 00:24:39 but we'd get a five in an envelope I guess she was getting a little bit more than that but this was the Crem de la Crem I got in the best team with best pantos was Piccadilly Theatre 1990 and it was Jack and the Beanstalk Cilla was Jack obviously Bob Cow geez was in it
Starting point is 00:24:55 Oh yeah we spit the dog We spit the dog I always used to wonder where these kids got these gigs And now I know Well they go to local dance schools But often they'll go to like Sylvia's across
Starting point is 00:25:04 too much. You can't because the kids are like yeah sure, £150 a week please back then but Babette would have been just like have them for free and we were all like that you know like honestly but we were all like mini bonnies we were all like mini bonnies Well she was the she was the leader
Starting point is 00:25:20 but this I tell you what this was here at the end of the run we would do a spoof of the adults in Panto that one of the parents would write the script and we just take the piss out of them and I was Jean Boat do you remember Gene Boat? Yes! Jean Boat from bread Yeah from bread
Starting point is 00:25:34 Do you remember bread? Yes, I do remember bread. Lilo Lill? Yeah. Lytte. Yeah, yeah. This, I was taking off Jean because I could just do a good impression of her.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Yeah, and I mean, I think she died last year actually. She did. Yeah. And that was, this was at the end of the spoof. And Silla bought us all a gold necklace with a gold bean on, you know. Oh. And did you feel like, this is my brush with the A-T? This is A-Lish.
Starting point is 00:26:00 She was huge. She was huge. So, so, Babette's niece. Scarlett and Summer were both in that team and if you were in the same team as them you were in the best pan. What happened to Scarlett and Summer? Scarlett Strallan is one of my best friends now.
Starting point is 00:26:14 She went to Broadway but she's had a couple of kids now. I met a guy in New York so she stayed there. Oh, lush. Yeah, Summer's the same other kid. But Scarlett played Mary Poppins in the West End. So you could have gone down that. You? Musical Road.
Starting point is 00:26:26 I did. I did. Oh, I didn't know you were a musical background. I didn't come to, I didn't really come to like the comedy sketch world till like my early 30s, late 20s. So, so we're, okay, because it's quite hard to leave that world. Yeah, well, it was, it was, when you, when you're not open to opportunity, I harp on about this all the time in our podcast, but when you're not open to opportunity
Starting point is 00:26:47 when you're a working class kid, I just stumbled on a dance school. They have lots of dance schools, aren't they? That was your in. And, you know, those things that really happen. You can't, well, they do now, but back then it was just that. And we were just doing shows and I've just fucking loved it. Yeah. And then she's very chancy, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:27:02 It's like where you live. who goes where or where they're there. I was just lucky that it was her dance school. Was it Hounso Manor? Really terrible school. Sorry, I love, you know, it's... I know I have that relationship with my school. It's like I had a good time, but it was shit.
Starting point is 00:27:15 It was hard. It was survival. It was bottom of the league table every year. I think it probably still is. But, yeah. It was... It was literally, yeah, keep your head down. Don't look at anyone the wrong way.
Starting point is 00:27:26 I honestly don't know how I survived school because I was constantly looking what I thought was like just a general area. And before I knew some girl thought, are you looking at we're staring out what you're looking at my baby
Starting point is 00:27:35 yeah why you brought your baby to school I had a school like that and it was just like yeah I played football to be honest
Starting point is 00:27:44 I just only break time I was out playing football with the boys and my mate Louise so that's how I got through school and just pretended
Starting point is 00:27:51 to like boys yeah same well no wonder this world that you discovered was so appealing yeah but even when I went here you know like it was really posh
Starting point is 00:27:59 and I was trying to make friends of all the posh kids that are acting and and I led to, it was like a double life I'd go to Hounsela man and be like you're right, yeah, and then I'd go to Babetz and be like, hello!
Starting point is 00:28:11 She taught me the difference between brought and bought and was and were, you know, like... I only just very recently learned the difference I have to still do that. Lots of people, right, right, right, right. To be fair, like, it's the same as, what's the other one, oh, fuck me, you know, when you, the apostrophe,
Starting point is 00:28:26 when, you know, like, we're, we're, and we're. All of those. Where and... Never mind, doesn't I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have these conversations with Chloe all the time. She never knows... She doesn't know where to start punctuation.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Guys, I don't want to be a fascist about it, but if it belongs to someone, that's when you put the apostrophe. Right, anyway. It's great doing homework with your kids when you're like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking. Oh, I'd be terrible about a babe. I really don't know. My nan tried to do long division in my shot.
Starting point is 00:28:55 I'm sorry. They learn it all differently now. You'll be on help, mate. It's a calculator out of yourself. So what shows you? Who did you do at Babbets? No. Once you got past Babbets and you started to...
Starting point is 00:29:08 They went to Brits School and then they pointed me in the direction of drama school and I got a scholarship at Mountview and that's where I went because it was free. You went to Mountview? Yeah. My God, you went everywhere. Wood Green, I've been, I've had a billion agents, a zillion fucking lives, yeah. So what was your first job coming out of drama school then? I was a musical called The Boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Where was that? Straight into musical. It was a UK tour. Yeah, yeah. so jealous of people that left early. The ones that got agents straight away. But the end, but yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I know. I think everyone fucking ate me.
Starting point is 00:29:38 But at the end of my first year, I went to my head and I said, I want to go, I want to go over to acting, same for me. Yeah. And just looking after your voice and everything is like, I like a red wine and a fag. Like, I like it. I like it that it's singular when probably it isn't. No, never, never. But yeah, and they wouldn't let me.
Starting point is 00:29:56 So, you know. They wouldn't let you? No, they just said, but you're brilliant. You know, you can sing and you can dance. I know I can do those things. but I was so desperate to be funny. And everything was, I picked comedy numbers all the time. Anytime I got to do comedy,
Starting point is 00:30:09 I was always going up for the comedy character, I wanted to do the comedy, wanted to do the comedy. Also that tradition of going down the musical road is, like I say, from people I've known in it, you can't jump. I remember saying to one of my first agents, how do you get into comedy? And they were like, you're lucky to be in the bill.
Starting point is 00:30:25 But I'm like, all right, sorry I asked. Now you're going, I need to do a bit of drama. No, it's a bit of drama. Take me so seriously. I wanted to do comedy, I wanted to be on telly doing comedy. That's all I knew. And I remember sitting there, and I'd met Victoria Bush, who ended up being my comedy double-app partner.
Starting point is 00:30:48 I'd met her on this Christmas job. And then when I met Vicks, we were like, oh, you're funny, I'm funny. We played these, like, Glasgow-Schoo, snowmen in this thing. And we're like, oh, and everyone was like, oh, you're like, French and it's taunders, you two. we were like, oh, should we do some writing? But most of that was just like having a wine and not doing anything. And we did this whole hour that was so terrible and so shit. Some of it was all right.
Starting point is 00:31:10 But it was really bad. Everyone was, of course, they loved it. And we just thought we were going to go up to Edinburgh and we were going to win an award. I mean, in a way, it's better that way, isn't it, to be that thing? Well, it is until you get to Edinburgh. And then the reality is absolutely. But then that first year, I was like, oh, fuck. Like, we spent so much money ourselves.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I was being on at the Gilded Balloon for a whole month. And then it's not even that you're not earning for a month. Then you're having to pay for your accommodation, all of that. It's someone producing it? No one backed it. No one backed it. So we then spent a year trying to get over that. And then I went, let's skip a year.
Starting point is 00:31:43 And then we'll do the free fringe. So then we did the free fringe. And that was actually the most enjoyable one because we hid away. Yeah. Didn't get any reviews. We were trying to sort of change our act a little bit because... You're trying to craft an act. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:56 And that was our favourite time. But we, again, because we fucking didn't. we were always on the peripheral of the comedy world and the sketch world, always asking to be let in. Someone said, you know, do you get much on the door at the end? I went, what do you mean? I went, well, you know you can just hold a hat out at the end. That's the whole point.
Starting point is 00:32:11 I've been doing two weeks. I don't fucking know. So then we stand with our sombrero. We start getting 30-odd quid each. We're like, wow. Why don't we've been doing this? People must have put the word out. I don't see those guys.
Starting point is 00:32:20 They don't even take any money off you at the month. I know. We were full. It was great. We were full. That was at the voodoo lounges. That's a good room. Is this you two here?
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah, so the story behind that there is... We used to run a night in Leicester Square Theatre. And this was when... Was that in that little studio at the bottom? Yeah, that's right. And we did like a reunion in 2016. Because when we split up, it was quite... It was like a breakup, like...
Starting point is 00:32:50 Why did you decide, you just called it in? It was actually Vic. She just... She did it via email. Oh, it was so hard. It was like a breakup. And we've spoken. about we're still really good mates so like we're the best of friends she was my best man at the
Starting point is 00:33:02 wedding but um we uh we decided to do a little reunion and end it in a nice way and we invited everyone we did like three nights at lester square but we used to run a night there so we booked it again and said let's just do an hour of the old stuff that people like update it obviously and then we'll do some new stuff and it was a really nice way and it was our last ever gig and that we didn't have we used to do this thing called checkly versus bush in the middle where we'd do like a piggyback race with someone from the audience or whatever and whoever won would win a pre-year-old prize. We're like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Futs were in Lester Square and I went, what about a, well, let's get a thingy, what do you call it?
Starting point is 00:33:35 Carricature. Thank you. A caricature drawing of ourselves. So we sat there whilst they did it. And the person who won didn't want it. Oh no, did they not want it? No, no. So Vicks has got that on her wall now. That is brilliant. Yeah. I mean, that don't look like me. It looks like Vicks, but it does not look like me. No, it doesn't look like you. It doesn't look like you. No. But you can tell that. so, can't. I mean, you know, but I've got one of these
Starting point is 00:34:00 from when I was a kid on holiday in Turkey. They never look like the person. No, no. I mean, people are making it, they're a racket. No arms either. There's no arms on those either, just tits. Oh, the tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he ain't forgot about the tits. That's hilarious, no arms put tits. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the important part, in it.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Oh, no, get the tits in. So once you... Shit prize. After, um, Checklean Bush, then, because then I didn't see you for years, like years and years and years. Long time, yeah. And then you arrived on my screens. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Well, it was... What happened? What was the journey? Just after Vicks and I broke up, we, I had, I went up for a job called Edge of Heaven, which was a comedy drama on ITV. It was just this casting director who really liked me, and she backed me for years. And she was like, I'm going to get you something. I'm going to get you something.
Starting point is 00:34:48 I'm going to get you something. I'll go up for this job. I'm like, they're going to want someone with profile. Fuck it. I'll go up for it. I got a recall. Got another recall. And it was this family. It was about an 80-s seemed to be and B and mine.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Bargate. Blake Harrison was the lead playing my brother and Camille Cadoree was playing my mum. And I got it and it was and then from that Curtis Brown were on set and they signed me. Right. And then that was that. Yeah. And because I'd done the sketch circuit and had done comedy, people trusted that I could do. But I had to take little bits, little bits.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I think I met you on. What was it? A pilot, wouldn't it? I feel like all I remember was you opening the door and I was coming to. to see a house. Is it like family, family, family, two point out? Was it something like that? Was it a pilot?
Starting point is 00:35:33 I was a pilot, yeah, yeah. Was it the one with Darren Boyd? That's it, yeah. And you playing his wife, yeah, and I came around and I was a lesbian looking at the house. Sure. I believe that. Now she's going to be like, well, wasn't I seen for that one? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Why am I not ever seen for lesbians looking round houses? I was right. Hey? Yes, God, that's going back as well. Yeah, that was like maybe 2050. So it's like little parts like that, you know, a bit here, a bit there, a bit here, a bit there. And Edge of Evan only did one series, so that didn't really do much for me, apart from getting me that agent and stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:04 And then I got detectorists and that sort of helped a bit. Yeah, decturist was great. And then it was King Gary, really. It's the matcha, or the three ensemble Cado Cephora, the fatt that I've been to denishé, who me energize all the time. Mm, it's the ensemble. The form of standard and mini-regruped. Hello, Ben.
Starting point is 00:36:27 And the embellage, too beau, who is practically to give to do this offer. But I know I'm Gavely the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty
Starting point is 00:36:34 by Selena Gomez. I'm just great. The most ensemble the gift of atolle Shephora.
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Starting point is 00:37:22 Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials.
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Starting point is 00:37:52 And in front of a huge poster. Or a trial. That is, that is a coach. Oh, yes. So in the final episode, we get married and we go to Ireland and get married and it's a big shit show. But this day, they said what they were going to do and I'd just sort of be on the back of the bus. But it's amazing. It's like a bodywood poster.
Starting point is 00:38:11 I saw it cross the hills because we were in Newcastle film and actually trying to pass it for Ireland. Because this was during still kind of strict COVID time so we couldn't go to Ireland. So they just had to find a location that kind of looked a bit like. Island and when that came over the hill me and Tom just fucking and I just remember going this is mad and like when we did the Christmas special and stuff like that was what I wanted when you said what did you want I wanted to be a lead in a family sitcom where I just make people fucking laugh yeah yeah and so when I got King Gary it's it just changed my life but I met Tom and James Defron yeah as you know they sort of come together writing partners and director and whatever
Starting point is 00:38:50 I met them doing a pilot that didn't work out and then they wrote apart from me in a thing called action team which was a comedy action which was that was on ITV that didn't do well, did one series and that that was it but Tom I remember being in a bar in Bulgaria
Starting point is 00:39:08 and he said I want to write a sitcom with you and me as husband and wife and I thought they'll want Sheridan Smith or something and then he wrote it for you didn't it? They wrote it for me yeah they wrote it for me and I'd never had that, I'd never really had something written for me it's a dream when they did action team they'd kind of written
Starting point is 00:39:24 already but they thought oh you could do that because the part that I'd done in the pilot was very similar and when I met them to I just I felt like I just met a team that believed in me and they went into meetings and fought for me that's that's the thing that made it like something different these are two men that have grown up with very matriarchal women around them yeah working class lads they just love women I honestly couldn't believe my luck because it was like oh god they're really letting me be funny yeah and even more so He was the straight man. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:57 And he didn't care. And there was never a sense of, it was always, and I always had an input. And it's physical humour as well, which women not very often, you know. I suppose Miranda, but other than that, it's not traditional. And it's my bag.
Starting point is 00:40:10 I fucking love physical comedy. Well, you really inhabited that character. And people fell in love with her and fell in love with you. Well, it's kind of a little bit of a cult hit, really. I mean, it's a shame it didn't go on really, but I went to Tom's gig, he's touring at the moment stand up and I've got a costed in the toilet
Starting point is 00:40:27 I mean everyone there was a King Gary fan so when they love it they love it and they can quote it and they I mean you think I don't remember that baby How many series did you make? Two. How was it only two? I got married this year which is another one. Yes your next pick never if we had a guest have to move it on
Starting point is 00:40:45 I feel like I had the photo up I was ready to go Laura is that are we going to move on to the next photo No no I just I just thought because I know running out of time picture well you know what I just thought it's yeah it was just honestly like best day of your life yeah Claire and I were like Claire would have been happy just to do registry office which we kind of we did on the Thursday and then we my mate married us on a Saturday my mate Hannah and it was just like it was just really raucous and
Starting point is 00:41:14 everything I wanted it to be it weren't stuffy and had all my mates there and and and she's like an incredible human being and she's like changed me my life really. Where did you meet? We met, oh my god, well, first initially, this sounds really, you know this story, don't you? Yeah. So it's actually, yeah, so anyway, my mate, Hannah, was directing her third year show at drama school. Yeah. And then this is not how we got together, by the way, all right? You've got to let this story pan out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so then I Hannah said, we come and assist me. It's a couple days, can't do here and there. I said, yeah, sure. Claire was in it. I thought she was lovely, but obviously a student.
Starting point is 00:41:54 I was with somebody at the time. Then seven years later, my mate asked me to directs. That's really key. Seven years later. That's really key. I directed this charity concert for my mate and he said, oh my God, Claire's singing in it. I went, oh wow, I've not seen her.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Seven years. And then, yeah, it was like totally two different people meeting again and we just sort of. Just an instant connection? Instant. Yeah. And everything was great. I'd not long been out or something.
Starting point is 00:42:24 And I'd moved into my mate's spare room. I was 38. I thought my fucking life was done. And all I owned was a laptop. And this was pre-King Gary as well. And I thought, well, I sit, you know. And then I met her and I thought, oh, okay, now she's 10 years younger. And she wasn't gay.
Starting point is 00:42:44 But what are you doing? That's tricky. You haven't a midlife crisis. What you're doing? And I know everyone thought it. But she's, yeah. Turns out she's very gay now. Turns out she's...
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah, I was going to say she came around then because she got married. Very gay. She's gay, very gay. Oh yeah, very gay. She's gay with us now. Oh, she's actually gay in us now. The other picture is my nan. Why did we jump one?
Starting point is 00:43:12 The only, well, we were just, we went about, didn't we? But that my nan is my hero, really. And I feel like... That's down the old oak club. And that's early 80s, probably late 70s. It's a New Year's. by all accounts of her mate Daisy on the left door on the right and all those they just went down the club for like bingo and a sing-along on a Sunday and then my mum's my I know and my nan
Starting point is 00:43:37 everyone says I look like her I'm like my nan I get it off my nan my nan was in a was in a was in a girl group back in the day they were called three in harmony and she said but we weren't in harmony she they went to a gig and someone went three in harmony but yeah so she she always used to say i got it from her but she i don't mean she ever saw me on the telly which i yeah oh that's hard and i never told her i was gay so but but you know i weren't ready at the time i think she was 27 when i died um but she is like when i'm on the dance floor she is like she's in everything i do every character really yeah there's a little bit of my nan in there even like in king gary and terry there's just something in there that my aunt she was
Starting point is 00:44:20 really funny right and she she she had nothing when she died and it left nothing but a load of clothes she hadn't worn that still had labels on and you know a wedding ring
Starting point is 00:44:32 and a couple of other bits but she used to shove cash in your hand or take it now because I'll be fuck all when I'm gone yeah she was one of them but she she partied hard and she was like
Starting point is 00:44:42 just joyous and very funny she could hold court brilliant stories and it's interesting is it the gazillion of nans and women that did it
Starting point is 00:44:50 yeah they just couldn't have had a route to doing it Thank you. Oh Laura, thanks for coming on. It's so nice to see you. Is there anything you want to talk? Before you go, you've got a podcast. You want to talk to us about your podcast?
Starting point is 00:45:05 Yeah, you do your podcast. You do. I've been after Kerry free. You're working class. No. I didn't. Well, foreign. Yeah, and it's people's stories of how they got to where they are.
Starting point is 00:45:15 And also, like, what makes somebody working class just because you've now got money and you live in a different life? It doesn't change the bones of you. That's how I certainly feel. I certainly don't lead a working class life anymore, but I consider myself very working class. I'd be happy to lead a working class life if I could go down that old oak club on a Saturday night.
Starting point is 00:45:33 You'd fucking love it. You'd all love it. It sounds great. I want to go down there. I feel like I definitely missed out on all of that. You come to see Michael Boubley. The tribute act, obviously. I'll bring my squint.
Starting point is 00:45:48 What are the kids, what are you getting the boys? Because they're still at an age where it's fun to buy them presents. I'm going to be the teenagers now, so actually, I don't really know what to get that. Well, we have. decided just to buy more landfill and that appears to be something that we have committed ourselves to. Just crap. I don't know a way around that.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Well, there's a lot of stuff that they like is like, oh God, you really have to sift through this crap. So they like stuff that's anything to do with the computer game and most of the computer games they don't even play but they're just aware of because they've seen... Oh yeah, like merch?
Starting point is 00:46:21 Yeah, like... Minecraft, well they do play Minecraft but among us, Roblox, all that kind of stuff that they talk about at school. Yeah, yeah, no, we've done all that. I don't know, I didn't know there was merch for all that shit. I knew Minecraft had that. Oh, it's merch for everything.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Oh, my God, can we just, can we just discuss how shit the Minecraft merch is? Like, who wants a square sheep? They look at it for about three minutes and they don't know what to do with it. I saw in Hamleys, and look, no disrespect. Maybe we'll have to beep out Hamleys. If we do, I better stop saying Hamleys. Anyway, I was at Hamleys. Oh, God, this is going to be a nightmare for Joel.
Starting point is 00:46:53 And Lee makes me sad. Absolutely. Those actors out the front. Oh, they're so committed. in Hamleys. If you do have to beat this up, Joel, I'm sorry. I want to know what happens when the laughter stops with those guys. Anyway, the laughter, there was a guy as I walked into Hamleys, sorry, apologies again, Joel. And literally, he was serenading. Everybody. It really upsets me. When I pass them, I have a little cry. But the actual, as you walk in, it's quite depressing.
Starting point is 00:47:24 As soon as you walk in, you feel sad. I think they need to love. in that place up a bit because it feels like I'm in a shed. Are you joking? Liven it up? It's got a bubble machine. Not in that way. Just like in a way that makes it feels like it's got some kind of colour and some sort of like. Are you mad?
Starting point is 00:47:39 It's a, where are you going? So I was there literally. Hamleys. Hamleys. It's got no colour. It's a bin. It's a big bin full of landfill and it's not colourful at all. That's all toy shops.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Yeah, but it's not like just kind of paint the walls something that isn't black. Do I mean? Like, it's liven it out. where the walls were black. The whole thing's grim. I walked up and down there and, oh, and then the lift stopped working. Look, I don't want to talk about this because it actually, I felt really saddened by the whole occasion. But all those things that are designed to make kids happy make adults sad.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Like Disneyland. I know, I like Disneyland. Disneyland's fun. Oh, super fun. I loved it. Disneyland, no, no, no. I'm not going to, I don't agree. Disneyland is a very strange.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Disneyland is brilliant. What are you talking? The queuing, just the queuing, the queuing, paying all that money to just queue all that. But it's a magical world, Kerry. No, it's a consumer-isked, fun island. Kerry Godlyman, it's a magical world full of magic. And also when the children...
Starting point is 00:48:47 I don't know who you are and I don't know what's happening. Which one did you go to? Because I went to the one in America. I've been to the one in America, not Florida, the California one. I've been, that was all right. I didn't mind that. And then we went to the Paris one and that ruined it. I went to the Orlando one and the LA one.
Starting point is 00:49:02 And both of the times I was in magical land, having a magical time. Were you with your children? No, I was a, was a, Was you with your children? No, I was a teenager. Come back to me when you've gone with your children as a parent. Okay. And we will resume this conversation.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Because until you've done that, you don't know Disney. Okay. I feel like you've really taken the children. machine off it. It's a magical place. Disneyland. Unlike Hamleys. Again, apologies Joel. Look, we all want our children to whittle in their spare time, but that is not going to happen. So just surrender to the gaming. I always thought when I, before the kids were born, that we'd sort of, I don't know, do crafty things. I don't know why we thought we'd do crafty things. I don't even like crafts. No, but Chloe's into craft. We've done this. We've had this. I know I love a bit of crafty.
Starting point is 00:49:56 sit on the sofa with a book, we'd all read together. As one, as a family, whilst listening to classical music or something. Yeah, you're living in a dream world. Oh, yeah, clearly. I mean, I've been, it's acutely aware that it's just going to be my kids on an iPad staring at a cubed pig. Yeah, I mean, my kids, when we went camping or some holiday down that part of the country once, Frank was in the back of the car on an iPod playing Minecraft.
Starting point is 00:50:22 We went past Stonehenge and I went, look, it's Stonehenge. didn't look up from Minecraft. He'd rather look at Minecraft than Stonehenge. To be fair, and no disrespect to Stonehenge. But when you're... I know, but just look at it. It takes a second. We're driving past it. Just look at it.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Just look at it with your eyes. Yeah, but it's a couple of stones upside down. Yeah, I know. Yes, we all know that to be true. But just look up from the screen from a... From cubed, like... Pigs? Nonsense.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Pigs. And look up at real... Cubs. Genuine ancient. cubes yeah really old druid cubes yeah because they're really impressive if you properly go there with your brain wow bloody hell and then go back to your game absolutely and then spend five to six minutes talking at your children about how did they get there how did they get there a tractor it's a right of passage they didn't have tractors yeah they didn't have tractors it's a genuine it's a genuine
Starting point is 00:51:19 riddle is it though and they're not interested they're not I mean we sort of kind of do know how they got there it just would have been tricky Aliens? That's ultimately the answer, isn't it? It's aliens. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 00:51:47 That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do? yesterday.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word, this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 00:52:20 Like, that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.

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