Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E02: Kiell Smith-Bynoe

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

"And then she rocked up with the bald dad story..." The uber talented and multifaceted Kiell Smith-Bynoe rocks into the podcast this week with a bunch of photos and stories to boot. Photo 01 - Me and my cousins Photo 02 - School dayz Photo 03 - Junior Spesh dayz Photo 04 - Klayze Photo 05 - Filming Ghosts Photo 06 - Kool Story Bro PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Need to pick me up. Snack back to reality with Tim's new Cravable Raps, available in Chipotle or Ranch. Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for limited time. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about.

To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. So, what happened with your shoe? Right, I thought I'd lost a shoe. Right? I looked everywhere for the shoe.

I went on my family. WhatsApp group. Where's the fucking shoe? Who's lost my shoe? I can deal with a lost sock, right? But not a shoe. Not a shoe. Because no one's hopping out. No one's going out into the world with one shoe. Anyway, I found it.

And what was depressing was I had genuine adrenaline. I had adrenaline. That's how bored I am, guys. I had the rush when I found it. But to be fair, when you think that that shoe's gone. Yeah. And it's a burkingstock. It's lovely burkingstock.

Well, I actually, when you said shoe, it's a lifestyle choice. I was imagining it was a burkenstock. That's exactly what it was. I, I, was it, what was it, you know, those slippers that you've got? Yeah. I've got those. Did you get them? I've had them for years.

Oh, okay. I thought you got a good. I thought I was a style guru then. No, there's a bandwagon. You've jumped on it, though. No, I thought you jumped on it. How could I jump on it when I had them before you? I don't know.

Yeah, whoa, whoa. Whoa. How do you know when I got mine? Well, when did you get yours? 1996. Yes, I got them. 1996, getting out of it. Well, when did you get yours and I'll tell you when I got mine?

Five years ago. Yeah, I got mine six years ago. Fuck you. This is bullshit. You just walked into that, you idiot. This is this bullshit. Anyway, I found my shoe. Do you want to know where it was?

You don't seem interested. I am interested. Okay. It was right at the back of the sofa. Why are you pointing? Because the sofa is over there. It's an audio medium. It's an audio medium.

It was right over there. Right over there. I can't put it any clearer than this. It was right over there at the very back of the sofa under the radiator. Where there. There by the stair. A little burkey with clocks are. Anyway, they've got a slightly clock vibe.

How did it get there? How did it get there? Jesus Christ, how did it get there? No, Molly barely moves. What I've done, which is I suppose what happens with a Birkenstock lifestyle, is you kick them off because you don't have to engage with them, do you? You kick them off and then they just sort of get kicked about, and then they get kicked under the sofa.

I never know where mine are, ever. I think, did I take them off upstairs? Did I take them off downstairs? This is what we've become. This is what our lives are now. Did I take them off upstairs? Did I take them off downstairs? I used to be occupied by high thoughts.

Come on. When? Complex philosophical thoughts. Oh, that's what everyone's saying about Kerry Godgerman. No, it's like, oh, where's my shoe? What I'm done with my shoe? Did I take it off upstairs? Or did I take it off downstairs?

Look, I think these are still questions that are personal. We don't have to go into some sort of cerebral plane of existence. We can we can stay lowbrow. We can stay where we are. Thank you for that. Because that's all I've got. Looking for shoes. And I woke up.

That's the beginning of this story. I woke up, right? Pain in my shoulder. Pain. Actual pain. Not just a little bit like a bruise. Frozen shoulder. No, like a bruise.

Like an actual bruise. I looked at it must be a bruised. It has to be bruised because I feel it. There's a bruise. Look there. No bruise. I injured myself asleep. I don't understand what has happened that I can sleep wrong and wake up with an injury.

I went to Pilates today. I said, I've got an injury. She was like, is it an injury? I said, well, I've hurt myself there. She went, that's what happens, you know, as you get older. You will sleep badly. and injure yourself. I was like, well, this is news to me.

You can injure yourself prone. I relate. Shoulders especially. I don't know what goes on in the night, but I think maybe we're sleepwalking and getting up and doing weights. Oh, do you know what? That would be really good because I would love to do weights

but not while I'm conscious. Well, there you go. You are doing it asleep. Why do I need to be conscious when I'm doing weights? I do weights. I do weights. I go to a mid-late. I do them.

it's like a middle-aged ladies workout thing on a Saturday morning in the well they call it the cage but it's not I mean it's not cage it's the ball court down at the local park sports cage just when you said the cage I thought tops off wrestling weights

yeah it's racy business down there cage ladies doing weights chatting about losing shoes chatting about the menopause and oh you never guess you won't believe what happened Friday I lost a shoe and then I found it And the adrenaline, you'll relate.

What a rush. I was off my nut for at least for 30 minutes. I went for a... I told you I went for a drink with Claire after we did our record. You told me you were going to. Yeah, so it was so lovely to see her. And as you know, Claire, she's very glamorous. And she looked great.

And she looked incredible. I'm always like, oh my God, I look like a homeless person next door. It's just absolutely the pits. Anyway, of course, she's like, I'll meet you in this bar. And I was like, okay, fine. And then she went, do you know what? I found another bar. So eventually I find it, thanks to Joel.

Joel shows me how to get to this bar. I walk in, it's like, I don't know how to explain it, but it is so like, you know when it's sort of uber posh, it's so posh, people don't want to acknowledge how posh it is. Posh or cool or posh cool. Oh, no, it's not, I don't even know if you'd call it cool. It's just posh. Okay.

Yep. The waiters. have got waistcoats, everybody's like, they've got them in Cafe Rouge, babe. No, I know, but like they, I know, as I said that, I was like, is that posh.

You do sound like no woman. I do sound like, you'll never guess this. They, I came in and they. The wages have got waistcoats. A little white cloth and a waistcoat. They offered me a drink. I've spent too much time in Pratt.

That's what's happening. Anyway, it was, it was, but you know, the people around you, they've got too many teeth. Yeah, that kind of place. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, like proper posh. And anyway, we've been there and I was like, I don't know why we're here.

She was like, look, we're nearly 50. We are allowed to go to these places now. We're not like in our 20s where we have to feel like we're not. We've got, we've actually got money. You're solvent. You're middle aged. We're solvent. Open the fucking door. We're allowed in.

We're coming in with my burking stocks. So I came in, one shoe. They didn't seem to notice. Anyway, the only reason I'm getting to this point is this. I had to go to use the bathroom, we're drinking loads of fluids. And this is the thing now that stayed with me. I don't really remember anything else about this place

other than that was quite posh, is trying to find the ladies' toilets. I said, excuse me, could you tell me where the toilets are? Because I could see the gents was just in front of me. And they went, oh, the ladies, yes. If you go through that door, take a left, take a right. You go down the stairs. When you get to the bottom of the stairs, take a left,

go through the double doors. I know these places. You're going to earth the core of the... And I'm like, oh my God, you're going to need to give me a ball of string and a map to get to the toilets. Because if I find them, I'm not going to find my way back. No, you're giving me Google Maps and they haven't got reception down there. There's no reception down there, Kerry. And by the way, why I ever...

Were you pissed in? I was sober. Okay. Sober as a judge, because we were drinking mint tea. I cannot tell you. I was like, why is it always... Is it just me? Are every single time the gents are like, oh, the gents are there,

oh, the ladies are, where are they? I need a degree in orienteering to find the toilet. Midlis. I don't get it. That stayed with me. That stayed with me for about four or five days. And sort of festered in a way that made me, I was kind of low-fi cross about it for quite a long time.

And inexplicably, really, because sometimes toilets are squirled away. But why does it have to be the ladies? Why couldn't it be the gents? Make them walk. That's what I want to know. Make them walk. Yeah? I'm sorry if you haven't got healthy prostate, not my problem.

I want the toilet to be just there. Well, maybe you should write an email or pop on trip advisor, make a little complaint. I can't be that person. Lovely place, very posh, lovely waiting staff, gorgeous waistcoats. However, however, unfortunately, it's going to be one short of the full five stars because of the ramble to the ladies.

I mean, I was wearing walking shoes as every good lesbian does. Anyway, who are we talking to? Oh, Kyle. This was such a lovely chat. It was a lovely chat. I really, really enjoyed this. He is one of the nicest blokes in the biz. He is delightful.

And I met him doing the sewing bee. And I said to him, oh, will you come on my podcast? Will you come on mine and Jen's podcast? And he was like, sure, yeah. I can't believe he said yes I can't believe he said yes but you did but I'm so glad he did

what is they're trapped in a room mate you've got them where do we begin well there's a lot of these are around the same age so let's pick the cutest one oh please can we do that one I love it when you do

like school proper class photos because you realise how small classes were yeah yeah there'd be twice that many kids now in a class yeah where did you go to school so where's this

Greenwood Independent How independent was it? Um, was it like an academy? That explains the class sizes. It wouldn't have done it. No, it was a private school. It was a private school, okay. Private primary school. Oh, well that explains why the classes were so small.

Yeah, yeah. But the class was the year. There was only one year in one class in a year. Okay. So the whole school had about 100 people. Yeah. So that's a really tiny school. Yeah.

That's a very unusual education experience. Yeah. That must have been nice though. Yeah. Right. You weren't allowed to talk on the way to the park. You had to walk to the park in silence. Oh man.

What? Why did they make children be quiet? Honestly, it's mental. And if you spoke, you would put your name in a book. And then when you get to the park, you have to stand on the line for a certain amount of minutes. This sounds joyless. So like, there's a lot, you know, like lines in a playground? Yeah.

Like lines for a football pitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd have to stand on the line for five minutes. or 10 minutes or 15 minutes. What? That's cruel. Why did your parents send you to this school? They wanted you to have a good education?

Yes. Yeah. It was... That's why parents send their kids to promise. But also, I mean, it was very soon after I... Very soon before I joined the school that they'd stop giving people the cane. Oh my God. Did they send you back in time?

That's how like... Because it's a private school. So they can do what they want it. They can do what they want. It wasn't like part of anything. You know, like... The cane? Yeah.

Was your mom and dad disappointed? They were like, oh, shit, we just missed that. Oh, we wanted to the heating bit. Now we're going to do ourselves. Normal, though, isn't it? Yeah. We weren't getting hit in our school, but you did have your mouth washed out with soap and water.

What? Really? Why is this better? That is worse. I think that's worse, actually. I think they used to shove a bar of soap in your mouth. You'd be tasting that all day. That's worse.

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Are you seeing touch with people you went to primary school with? Yeah, yeah. In fact, there's a story about. this. Go on. Okay, go on.

I went, instead of joining secondary school in year seven, I went back to primary school. Go on. Okay. So I, when I finished secondary school, my mom was like, I'm going to one of two schools. And there was St. Bonaventures or St. Edwards. And St. Edwards was in Romford and outside of the catchment area. and it would have been a long journey from East Ham to Romford. And they straight up said, no, it's too far.

Right. And St Bonaventures only accepted 20% non-Catholic and said that they'd already feel their 20% non-Catholic. Right. So I couldn't go there. Okay. So then I had no school to. So they were like, you're just going back to primary school?

Well, they didn't say it. They were just like, sorry. Wait, you're saying? So there's only two schools and you can't go to me? No, there's only two schools that my mom was willing to let me go to. Okay. Then my mom was like, well, we're going to go to one of those two schools.

So then she appealed to both of them, and they both said no. Wow. So then... So were there other, like, local comprehensives, and she was like, no way? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going there.

You'll go back a year rather than go to those local. Well, what happened was she, the council got involved, because they're like, your child hasn't registered for any school and starts in September, and it's like end of August. So we didn't.

They're like, these are the schools that were like... And she just brazen it out? Yeah, they were like, these are the schools that you could go to. We've got space and this one, this one. And there's laws, there's laws. Yeah, she was like, no way. I love your mom. I do remember this when my kids were moving up from primary to secondary and there were a couple of families that did this.

And I just looked on with total awe. They were like, we put that one and we put that one. And the kid didn't get it. And they're like, well, they ain't going to that. That's where they're going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And held out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So then my mom appealed again. And during that time, that, like, the appeal date wasn't until like mid-September. but I had to do something. So I went back to primary school. So I was back in primary school for three weeks. How was that? Yeah, yeah. That must have been weird.

Oh, definitely. Especially when I'm like, out staying you're welcome. Especially when last like a few months ago, I was getting my shirt signed by everyone. We were like, bye, see ya suckers. I never see this place again. So for like three weeks,

I was just in the back of the year six class. That's weird that it was that for three weeks, they were like, yeah, you can't come to this school. You better like. Don't look at that. actually we've got yeah yeah so these are your classmates don't worry about him yeah um but then yeah my mom appealed for the third time and then they're like all right

wow and um yeah see we're gonna give parents the impression that if you appeal three times but it's hard to get these schools it's like yeah it's a bit of a bum fight isn't it's the whole whole place yeah yeah yeah it's the matcha or the three ensemble kados sephora of the fact that i've been to denis who you energize all the time? Mm, it's the ensemble. The form of standard

and mini, regrouped, what's the aband? And the embalage, too be able, who is practically to do you know, and I know

I'd like the summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Salina Gomez. I'm just the most the best of the fairos

despae Summer Fridays Rare Beauty, Way, Cifora collection and other part of the vits, procure you

these formats and mini regrouped for a better for a placea or in magasin. This episode

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I blown cry out because he sent too many. I did send too many pictures, yeah. All of the pictures are really cute. 108. I just want to look at this picture very briefly. I mean, we're going to be going back again. Yeah. Who are you here with?

You're sitting on some steps. So those are my cousin. That's my cousin Wayne at the front. Who is six months older than me. And. Older. Yeah. Wow.

You look. Well, actually, you look tiny as well, You could be the same. Yeah, well, I suppose six months is nothing. Yeah, yeah. And my other cousin, Colette, who's his sister. So it's really, it's interesting that one because I was talking about him today. You guys close?

We are close, but we didn't, there were 10 years that we didn't see or talk to each other. Oh. And that was because my mum chose to do that. She fell out with her sibling? No. So my mom had. three brothers and her and my oldest uncle were born in Barbados. And then they came here when my mom was nine and he was five.

Right. And then she had two other brothers who were born in London. And so the oldest one's called Pev, then Will, then Robert. Right. And those are Will's kids. And Will and Robert and Pev were all really naughty boys. Really? Yeah.

And... She was like... You're not getting involved with my son. You're not going near my boy. Well, what I feel happened was, what I feel happened was my mum, because my nun and granddad were working, my mum raised these three boys, right? Right.

But these three, and this is not like what I've figured out myself. This is through therapy. And not because I needed the therapy for it. It's just like learning to understand why people do the things that they do. Yeah. Happened through therapy. Anyway, she raised three boys and three boys went to jail. and also like, well, just naughty boys and rebelled because their sister was looking after them rather than their parents.

Right. And also because, like, from my oldest uncle, I guess he'd come from a place where, like, it was a lot. He grew up on the beach and, like, could clan trees and free and then come to London and be told that you can't do that, but you can't do that because people are. I mean, some of these beach pictures, you know, it looks like paradise and then they came to Forest Gate. Yes, exactly. pissed off. Yeah. Yeah.

Understandably. Yeah. Yeah. So my mom raised three boys who got older and were naughty and didn't all necessarily succeed in the things that they set out to do. One of them did. Their dad, Will, who was a drum and bass emcee and like really quite famous. But then there's the older one and the younger one who didn't quite do everything that they set out to do. But I feel like because of that.

My mum was like when she had her own child, raised me in a way that like would doubly make sure that I was on the straight and narrow. Right. So like going to private school and also having these. So did she, how did she engineer that you were not going to kind of help? Oh yeah, sorry. So I guess she sort of saw the way that my cousin was going and just went no. And so I used to go like my uncle Will used to cut my hair.

And so I'd go to his house and he'd cut my hair and then I'd play a out with my cousin and end up all over the place and my cousin lived on an estate so it was like running around the estate with him and climbing into things and jumping on cars and just like nonsense stuff but when having fun continue to being naughty yes exactly that yeah and I think my mum saw that quite early and nipping in the hard yeah real quick so when I was 18 and I was doing music because I was a for maybe about 12 years. Oh, wait, whoa. Have we got a picture of you doing?

I mean, we're jumping all over the place, but I'm happy with it. It's fine. I don't think it's in that group, but there's definitely pictures around. So you were rapper, so what was your, what was your name? Clay's. Yeah. And I've seen you rapping, haven't I? Because we did Mo Gilligan together.

Oh, yes, of course. Yeah, that was deeply humiliating. Why was that humiliating? Because we had to fucking. rap a nursery rhyme yeah he's a rapper yeah i'm just a twat yeah let's hear it so i had to do dumpty dumpty oh it was just sat on a wall i mean you know occasionally when you do what we do and you're asked to do things that are deeply out of your comfort zone yeah that wasn't like that for you right yeah so you were actually brilliant yes i don't actually remember oh i did do you know what i

i used the um loop pedal because i because we use one in my yep pedal you're well out of your I was going to fucking loop pedal. Kerry, you should have used a loop pedal. Oh, I don't even know what a loop pedal is. I was so embarrassed. And Flo was like, my agent was like, doing Mo Gilligan, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was really excited. She was like, oh, by the way, you've got to wrap a nursery rhyme.

It's like, what? What? And then I found out I was on with you and that you're a rapper. I was like, oh my God. I don't remember it being back. And Luke, what's his name? Luke Evans. Luke Evans.

He's a singer. Isn't he like, well? He's a singer. What's that? Which people love singing. Yeah, but he's not a rapper, is he? He's like singing in the mallee. He's a singer.

I had a rapper and a singer. And me like, Humpty, Dumpty, sat on a while. He was awful. Yeah, that doesn't say. I will say that I don't remember it. Yes. But also, I don't remember it being bad. And if it was bad, I would remember it.

Because I'd be like, I'm feeling for you right now. Oh my God. So he must have been good. Can I go back into the archives? It was fucking horrific. Anyway, you were a rapper. Yes. It's 12 years.

Yeah, yeah. So like from about 15 and I started doing like pirate radio and then we put songs out and then we were doing, we had one song that went massive for the, I was going to say for the wrong reason. We made one joke song. Yeah. And then it became our biggest hit. What year are we talking? 2008. Okay.

So what, what song was that? It was called Junior Spech and it was, it's about chicken and chips. And like the thing is, we were a serious rap group, right? But comedy. And then we just made this song because we, it was like an in-joke. And this is when people were sending songs on Bluetooth or on MSN. Right. So like it wasn't.

Humor in music though. That's that's, that's, yeah. So it went viral via Bluetooth. Yeah, yeah. It went like, it went viral like through schools. Like people were sending it to each other on their phones. Oh, that's really? Yeah, yeah.

So it was like one of the earliest like viral. So at that time. So how old are you now when this happened? Oh, when that happened? 18. So did you think, right? I could go down this road, I'm going to be a musician? Yeah, I guess, but I mean...

Twelve years is a long time to commit to something. There must have been a part of you that it was like, yeah. Yeah, but I mean, we weren't serious people. We were like, we're a group of friends. No one was in charge. No one, like, we didn't have a manager or anything like that. It was all just us doing stuff and like... But you're getting success?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we were doing like... One track about the chicken. Yeah, we were saying, but you... Yeah. Yes, that's success. Yeah, but it's not the success we wanted. Right.

You know, like, we wanted to... And you're playing gigs regularly? Yeah, yeah, we did like... We were doing birthday parties. We're doing uni... That's success. That's the job. That's making a living.

In a really hard industry. Yeah, yeah. But it's not... We were constantly doing that because we'd been arts to do it, but it wasn't what we wanted to do. We were still, like, underneath we were trying to... Be actors? No, no, no, sorry.

We're trying to be like a serious rap group. Right, yeah. But all along you're doing your acting as well. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that was my own personal thing. That wasn't, like, as part of the group. Right. Because I had always wanted to be an actor.

Right. But I was rapping as well. Right. That's not a bad day job. Yeah, yeah. But you're making money from music, but also acting as well. Yeah, but it was a big group. There were seven of us.

Right, okay. Who was that group that was like 150 of them? And they would talk about how much time they had on stage. Raising squad. What is that? No. But comedy rapper, I mean, around the, I don't know. The only one I could think of is a Goldie looking chain.

That kind of... That would have been a lot more before. That's a Welsh comedy rap acts. 21 seconds to go. Oh, so solid. Yeah, they're so solid. Yeah, yeah. It was 21 because they had 21.

No, there was loads of them. 221. So the bigger the band, the less the fee. When you get paid, my husband's in a band. They got 11 pence each. That's why they never made it. They get paid like 120 quits to do a party and they've got to divide it between seven of them. So it was that sort of thing.

Right, right. But then one of the band. of our friends went off and made his own song, like his solo song, and that went massive. What was that? That was called Migraine Skank. So that was like, that was 2009. That was when Funky House was massive. Right.

And he made that. And then we were going, I say we as in me and him rather than the group because he picked me out of the group to be like his hype man. Right. And we were like all overworlded. Really? Yeah, yeah. So we like, I mean.

Doing shows? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we went everywhere. So this is a massive deviation. I was 10 people for office angels. I mean, and you're like, this doesn't seem fair. That's a huge deviation from, like, you know, the saying, you know, life's what happens

while you're busy making. Yeah. That's, you're having a rap career. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A international rap career while you're thinking you're going to be. Yeah, I was going to drama school and finishing and then going to like Manchester, then Wolverhampton, then Bolton, then like doing three shows a night and then coming back that night and then going back to drama school.

Wow. That's full on. That is full on. When did you think, right, I'm, I'm going to be. be a musician that's what I'm doing now well no because even then it wasn't my I wasn't in like at the forefront of it I was his hype man right what does that mean so like I'd go on with him and hide people up yeah but also like you know I might say the odd line out of his song just emceeing in a bit yeah yeah yeah but he's like I often want to do that bloke was in

the background yeah yeah yeah it's that bring it's literally that's what I'm saying brave a flavor it's like what you're doing mate let him finish his He's got something to say, let you finish. Hear him out. Yeah, it is that guy. When did comedy come into this? Well, when I left East 15, I got an agent and I was like auditioning and stuff,

but I didn't really, I wasn't getting much. I got Whitechapel. Right. What sort of stuff was you going up for? A lot of tiny bits in things. A lot of adverts. Who were you in Whitechapel? Did you get a chunky pot in an airport?

Yeah, I guess I was like, my brother gets shot by the police and I have a, like an interrogation scene. Yeah, that's great for your first. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, for my first thing. That's fantastic. But it wasn't, it wasn't much.

It wasn't like, I wasn't regularly working. So, and I was auditioning a lot. Right. Comedy's a good way of being able to have some agency, isn't it? And my friends, Some of my friends were making YouTube sketches. Oh. Yeah.

So one of my friends, Tolu, who is in Man Like Mobin with Gus. Right. He's the other main guy in it. He has a channel called Don't Jealous Me. Right. And he was making YouTube video. He started, well, his video started from Facebook. So he was doing Facebook.

So that must have been quite early in that sort of people putting comedy up in line. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because it's now the way, like, people come through. Yeah, yeah. So he, I mean, he was like one of the original streamers. But it wasn't called that then. Yeah.

He was just doing like videos to camera. And what was this like sort of stand up but directing? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, playing a character. Yeah. Like character comedy monologues. To camera. And then he went into sketches.

Right. And I went to school with him. So he was like. Do you want to be in this sketch? Yeah. Do you want to be in the thing? So then I would be in his videos. And then I met another guy called Hamza who was doing the same thing but had a different

audience. Like his audience was already massive. But he'd like, he, monopolised the Asian market in London. And that was his fans. And Tulu's audience was like the African, young African second generation. And this is all online.

So not live at this stage. Yes. But I never had my own channel. So I was jumping around on everyone's channel. So I was getting seen by all of these people. This is like another circuit, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's completely different.

But we were really, like you and I are like dinosaurs with it. Oh, totally. I mean, I still don't know how to work the internet. But I remember like, what's, watching Mo Gilligan and I'd never seen Mo and this isn't that long ago I suppose maybe like eight years ago and I was like who is you know is this new guy and he was like very polite was like hey I'm Mo and I went oh hello I was emceeing it he just goes I'm just gonna jump on if that's all right I mean yeah sure I mean I don't give shit it's nothing to do me he comes on the audience

are literally like I've never seen this is up the creek I've never seen it I'm like who is this guy This guy. Who is, I didn't know. Who is this guy? Because he was posting. Because he was posting regularly on YouTube. This is before Instagram. This is before of that.

And I had no idea that he had generated, he'd created, he'd curated this audience who were all there on a club night to see him. Yeah. Not to see anyone else, which was like, that's so unusual in club comedy. No one's there to see you. They're just there for the comedy. They're going on. And everybody was there to see him. And it was, that was the first time I was like, oh, how do you do people doing this?

They're very much doing it. But it's so weird. And look at you now, Gembrister. You've gone viral. I've gone viral. But yeah, I find it fascinating that people were doing it back then that had the, and it's, maybe it's because we're a bit older, but. The tech skills, the wherewithal, the talent.

Yeah, and just getting on YouTube. The talent. Yeah, all right, fine. All right, Kerry, backed out. So when did you think I can do this live? So the way that the two worlds met were that I was doing a comedy on YouTube on different people's YouTube channels

because I never had my own and I was also doing the auditioning for TV or commercials or whatever it was and a producer, two producers, Michael Livingston and Tom Thustrup from a company called Two LE Media. Right. They saw Junior Spesh and thought it was a parody

as in like a like a parody of like these guys pretending to be greym artist whereas we were grimace but then we made a track that we made for ourselves right as a joke

as a joke and then ended up making a video for it because it had gone massive so we thought we might as well make a video and then put the video on YouTube when it was very early days so like you can watch

you can try and watch a video now but it's like two pixels so whether or not you can make me out I don't know what that means it means it'll be out of focus yeah yeah heavily so you could try and make me out but it was like

they saw that they got in touch and we went from meeting with them to talk about like music parodies but then I said I'm an actor and I'm like oh yeah what sort of stuff and then I showed them the YouTube sketches

and they had just they had just produced face Jacker okay so then they introduced me to Kvan right and I auditioned for his one of his pilots right and that's how I met him and then you're in that comedy and then I was in that because I so everything he did from 2011 I guess onwards I was involved in that's a brilliant contact or yeah yeah um you know somebody like supporters I have in that world yeah yeah yeah so everything he did I was involved in and I did the one direction advert which was what was that so it was an advert for fragrance where

Kvan plays a French photographer. And I paid the photographer's assistant and the movement director. And so that goes out. Has that got more than two pixels? Can I watch that? Can we watch that? But from that, people were like

Who's this guy? Yeah, yeah. And I sort of jumped like doing the commercials and stuff because I wasn't really getting those parts anyway. I was auditioning for adverts all the time and I hated it. But I wasn't getting them and still auditioning for TV bits but little tiny rolls but this sort of bridged the gap between like the stuff I was doing online because this was an online thing yeah because it's five minutes long yeah but it premiered on E so oh wow so you'll transition over to tell you yeah yeah yeah so that's

a great yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah when that went out after that went out did you did you feel like oh there's been a big there's been a change or there's been a yeah and I think it's literally just that people were using that as a credit. It's like, and you may know him from one direction. And it kind of worked because people like, people then were like, oh, he's a serious actor. Despite the fact that like, I don't even speak in that advert. I play the movement of director that doesn't speak.

And just like, I do everything in the face and I show them how to make the faces. Right. And then you start getting bigger auditions. Yeah, yeah. So what was the first big gig? First big. Well, I don't know because I sort of. feel like Stath was the first big.

Right. Stathletts was my first. I can never say it. Yeah, he did that deliberately. Stathletts flat. Yeah. Well, he was just like, what's the name that sounds as stupid as a show? Because the show's stupid.

It's so brilliant. It's such a great show. It's really funny. But also it says what it's like, right, it's about a guy who's an estate agent. Yeah, yeah. It's a Greek guy who's an estate agent. And that's literally in the title. It's just genius because you can get so much.

I mean, all of us have been around a property. I literally have met staff. You're like, you fucking joking. This isn't a room. This is a cupboard. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And just that joke.

And then building a whole narrative around it, the character. If you ever rented a flat around North London, around the lanes in North London, you would have met staff. You met staff every time you rented a flat. Yeah. Come in here. But like I said, you were Mo Gilligan. I couldn't watch it because I auditioned for it and I can't watch things. Fair.

Which is really bad. I need to get over that because I. No, it's fair. No, I think it's fair. I think it's fair. Really? Yeah. I'm not just an asshole.

No. I don't watch panel game shows I've never been on. Well, I'd never watched House Masters on until I was, well, I watched it in, like, I watched it with. I watched it with Charlotte because she, whilst we were filming goes. Did she do it before you? Yeah. Right. So whilst we were filming goes, her one came out and she was like, sort of worried to watch it.

Right. And I was like, I'll watch it with you. And I'm watching it sort of like half in, like, support. And the other half is raging, raging jealousy. Oh, that lovely feeling. Raging jealousy. Your business doesn't move in a straight line. Make sure your team is taking care of through every twist and turn with Canada Life savings, retirement and benefits plans.

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after series, I think Series 2 of Staff had come out and they were auditioning and it was the same director. Right. So Tom Kingsley directed Ghosts who directed one and two staff. And were you familiar with that lot? The team. No, none of them.

Right. No. So I'd know, like I knew of their work. I know they'd done Bill and Yonderland. They'd been in Holby Histories. But I didn't know any of them. Really? And I I knew Lolly from like that sort of circuit with Jamie and Tash in that group. And I knew Charlotte a little bit. Right. And Katie Wicks I knew from staff.

Right, of course, yes. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. So, like, I came into that just like blind, but I knew Tom Kingsley, the director, because I'd worked with him for two years on staff. And when you read it, did you think this is going to be great? Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Straight on the page. Yeah. And it's one of the first times that I went into an audition going like, I'm just going to try everything that I thought of. You know, like, sometimes you read a script and you're like, it would be funny if you do this, but maybe the writer doesn't want me to do. But I just went with everything that I thought of. Really?

Yeah. When we, so we, I had the first audition and felt like it went well. It felt right. And then they said, yeah, they want you back for a chemistry test. With show. So they added chemistry tests with four actresses. Right. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So they, chemistry tests are. weird. Is that? Can you tell me what? It was the first time I'd ever done it as well. Because you were like, you, what is it?

What is it? Have we got chemistry? Have we got chemistry? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. We've got chemistry. We haven't. I mean, I've done them with people that are like mates and you're like, we haven't

got chemistry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so weird. But what is it? Tell me what it is. It's like proving that you could look like a couple and look and look and like a couple. Do you just spark off each other? Right.

But how do they? It's not always a couple as well. Sometimes it's like partners or buddies or buddies or whatever. But they do it with friendship groups when they're casting, like, young people to see if they all work together. Just to believe that you vibe off each other. But do you as an actor, when you're having his chemistry test, do you like instinctively go, well, this is... Kind of, yeah. I do know that we've got chemistry.

So this is working in another time telling you it. And it might not always be what you necessarily want. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And also it's interesting if you've got... So in that circumstance, you were kind of cast and they were looking at it. No. There was two guys and four girls. Oh.

Yeah. Oh my God. I'm so stressed for you. That is so stressful. I know you got the job, but Kyle, that is stressful. But at that time, I knew it was like, it's either me or him. Right, but for her. Whereas with her, it's out of four.

And did you and Charlotte hit it off? Yeah. Yeah. You do have great. And then we worked out what that is because we're like, we're the same year in school. Right. So we've got the same references. We've got like, we're both from London.

Yeah. We just remember the same things. We've got a similar sense of humor. You just have an ease with each other. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So. Fun to watch.

Literally from. The rehearsals, they started to write in more things that were like just me and Kyle and Charlotteisms rather than having to like sort of. Crow bar jokes that you'd have to like. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or they just sort of knew that like we could riff around this. And so like even the stuff in the car in the car when like Mike and I listen are in the car. Yeah.

There's a lot of time where they were just rolling because they were just getting driving stuff. Right. So we could just like like when we're singing, we're singing overprotected. Britney Spears overprotected and I remember after that series when we came back for the second series and anything was shooting in the car the producer was like, do not sing

we cannot get clearance for the song. I mean this is me on Taskmaster so they were like will you stop fucking singing? We don't get clearance on any of it. I'm like oh yeah so they managed to get that Britney Spears one but they were like no more I don't know how much it cost them but like

we were just like comfortable enough and they knew that that was magic so they wanted it yeah yeah yeah tell us about the live shows well i've so i've been doing improv for a while and i've been doing like uh i've been in other people's improv shows and i thought i want my own improv show but it needs to be something it needs a different format i don't want to just take someone else's you've got now like from taskmaster goes yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like right this is yeah yeah yeah yeah i can i can sell tickets not i mean i'm not sure about

Regents Park, open air, but there's... I believe. I hope so. We'll be there. Yeah. Oh, great. That's two. Yeah, I'm sold it to. Go on Kyle. We can spread up. Yeah. So I, yeah, I just wanted to have, I wanted to have my own thing, but I'm like, I've never done

sound up and I've never wanted to do standup. I think it's like a real art and I think that like the people that, like, the people that are... Mentally else, sorry? Yes, of course. Yes, also that. But people that have studied it and like, it's a craft. So what kind of stuff? Well, I think...

Well, my show is called Cool Story, Bro, and the reason... So, when I was saying, I didn't want to just take someone else's format. I wanted to come up with an original format. And what I came up with was the idea that you have a guest that comes on... I introduce a guest, a guest comes on,

and asks for a story. And they can ask for a story. about a thing or they can answer a story that makes them feel a thing and they get it from the audience because you told me some absolute better so then the audience an audience member tells you a story and then you as the host asks for more details and who was that how do they know each other why were you there all of those things so good so we get as many details as possible and then us as it improvisers there's four or five of us we start acting we improv based on what it's not like we're not doing the story but we're doing a version of the story. Oh no, I could not do that.

I think you'd be surprised. I mean, you said some gold came out. Some people told you stories that you couldn't. And this is I think everyone's got a story. Yeah, I haven't. I haven't got a story. I haven't got a story. I put a big wash on and did some shopping. I can't wait to read your book, Kerry. If someone gives you a word, there's something that you could think of and you'd be like, oh yeah, that happened. Yeah.

Like, so the host in my show, so the last, the last host we had was Gus Kahn. And there's a part where he has to tell a story. And an audience member, I'd just tell the audience to shout out a word and someone said sausage. And he remembered his next door neighbor who used to eat a sausage on the end of a fork. Like on a regular, he'd be eating sausage on the end of the fork. Like a sausage lollipop? Yes. Right. But, yes, exactly.

But. Maybe a candy prox. But he. that guy died in the house next door to him. Too many sausages. Not sausage connected. No, not social connected.

But he also, when he died, the police, because the police had to go into, because he collapsed in his house. Yeah. The police had to go in. And when they went into his house and like cleaned up the scene or whatever, they found underneath the floorboards was an arsenal of guns.

Oh. So many guns. Oh my God. And him and Gus had had heated arguments before. Because they were next door neighbours, but he'd also stolen his cat, which was a bit that he didn't mention in the show, but I know because he's told me that story years ago. Oh my God.

And his neighbour stole his cat. But he'd had heated arguments with this guy and had to push his way into his house to get his cat. Whoa. So he was lucky he wasn't. Yeah, yeah. But this guy had so many guns. God.

That all came from someone, an audience member, shout out of sausage. Yeah, yeah. I haven't got stories like that. You shout out of sausage and I'm like, well, you can get a pack of two for four pounds in Astor. So the very first story we got, this is when I'm still working out the show to be like,

is this format right? Will this work? Will anyone tell the stories? And then she rocks up with the bald dad story. Or they all just be like silent. And this girl's first, first person that we asked. And her dad had been,

as long as she'd known, as long as she'd known her dad, he had full head of hair. And every week he would go to the hairdressers to get his hair done. And, I mean, it's quite regular, but he just wanted to keep on top of it. So he got his hair done every week. And to the point where her mom thought that he was having an affair. And she was like, at least I know where he is, like, every week. and I know where the affair's happened

and I know how long he's going to take and come back. And it turned out in lockdown, his... In lockdown. So how long had this been going on for? That whole life? For 44 years. Right? So her mum thought that he had been having this affair for 40?

They'd all just got on with their lives and live with it. Yeah, they were just right. He goes, every week he's going to their hairdresser. The reason they thought this, he was having an affair rather than actually getting his hair cut, because every time he left, he'd come back with his hair exactly the same. So they're like, something's going on. So it's not shorter.

It's not like, it's exactly the same. Cut to March 2020. So, yeah, March 2020. Lockedown. Lockedown. He can't go to the hairdressers anymore. Right. His head is started to get like patchy.

He's like, it's got like bits of like glue in his hair. And they're like, what the fuck is going on with dad's head? What's happening to dad? Oh, fucking hell. He comes down the stairs one day and says he needs to speak to all of them, the whole family. Oh my God. And comes down the stairs one day and says he needs to speak to all of them, the whole family. out to them as bald.

He's been going to the hairdressers and getting hair glued onto his head every week for 44 years. Who's gluing this hair on his head? This professional hairdresser, Rita. Rita. But he can't get to Rita because of the lockdown. So he's been having hair glues with a bald man and they're all like, who are you? Before he'd met her mum, he was married and she left him, said she didn't want to kids to be bored.

So that's why he was so neurotic about his hair because he didn't want his wife to leave him for being bald. Yeah. Oh, poor bloke. Yeah. 44 years. Imagine the money he could have saved. And the thing is, he was like, I'm bored.

And like, yes. Yeah, I think he should be bored. What did you do that for? Before you had the hair, glute you head. To be honest with you, Dad, I always thought your hair look fucking weird. Oh, man. That is a good story. to bald. But when I saw you, you just went, I can't stop thinking about it.

Honestly, it was like, imagine that. I can't imagine it. I can't. Sorry, can't. There's so much behind that story, there's like a lot of trauma. Yeah, yeah. There's also like, did you... There's some comedy. There's loads. There's Rita. There's always going on for Rita the whole time. Rita had to keep this secret as well.

Yeah, he turns out she's like, she's not actually doing anything. She's just like waving her hand around his head. Her mum must have been so revealed. Oh, so you're not having an affair. You're just balls. Oh, fine, thank God. Because when you go to the hairdress, I am actually having an affair.

So when are you next, when are you next? 21st to 24th of Feb? 21st to the 24th of Feb. At Southwet Playhouse. Listen, Kyle, thank you. Thank you so much, Kyle. I mean, we totally drifted away from the photographs, maybe.

Well, I've got photographs from everything we've talked about. Oh, is that as good? It says those. Chuck them over. I mean, we didn't get into Barbados, which you just got back from yesterday. Yeah. We can't cover everything.

We can do Kyle Part 2. Yeah, I'll be back. Thank you so much. Let me know what pictures you want and I'll send them over. I'm Josh and I'm David O'Daradie. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday?

That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday?

I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday?

I think that's too much, isn't it? That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.