Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E03: Allyson June-Smith

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

"My father cut my fringe using selotape..." The wonderful, talented and just a brilliant ray of sunshine - Allyson June-Smith - joins us for such a fun trip down Memory Lane. Photo 01 - Big head, B...ad haircut Photo 02 - Grandma Photo 03 - Wedding Speach Photo 04 - Fairy Godmother Photo 05 - Mum and exotic Dancers Photo 06 - Love of my life Please go see Allyson on tour - she's amazing!!!! - https://allysonjunesmith.com/ PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Brister and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about.
Starting point is 00:00:45 To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. This is what I said to someone the other day. I was a newcomer. and now I get called veteran that's a word that's been coming up. Oh yeah. And I think, what happened to that middle bit? I don't think you, we had a middle bit.
Starting point is 00:01:13 We just were... Why did that not happen in the middle bit? Newcomer, veteran. Yeah, I know. That's... Which is cove for like, past it. Yeah. But now people can come to us, can't they, for advice?
Starting point is 00:01:27 Well, it's great if you want to be a bit patronising. It's lovely. I'm leaning into that. Yeah, no, it's fantastic. And when people say veteran, I'm like, sure, that's a lovely word. But what annoys me is it implies that there was something prior to it that was a plateau, like a kind of like smashed it's own. No, I think it implies the opposite.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, veteran. Yeah, it was like, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer, Newcomer. Didn't make it veteran. Yes, yes. You've gone right over the edge there. Never happened, veteran. Like when you do a festival, I was never in the big letters.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Oh, don't go, don't, I don't want to talk about the letters. I can't, I can't talk about letters on posters, okay? It's one of the most... Billing, top billing. I can't... I've never been top billing. When my name, and obviously I need glasses, so who am I to judge? But when my name is so small that I can't make it out with my reading glasses, I'm like, well, what's the point?
Starting point is 00:02:24 I mean, what's the point of being a veteran? It's never good to feel that you're at the opticians doing a site test when you're looking at your own name on a festival poster. Festival poster, yeah. Yeah. I think I did one festival where my name was in Medium. Medium. Oh, I've done Medium and I felt like I'd made it. But I was like, but why did I never get big letters?
Starting point is 00:02:49 No, we're not big letter. We're not big letter people. I mean, we're just, I mean, like, I know that about me. I know I'm not big letters. But I'm medium letters and that. There's still a bit of me that wants big letters. I just, it's too late. We're veterans.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Let it go. We're veterans. We're veterans now. It can't happen. We've missed that. Fucking hell, man. I don't think I'm ready. We've done the, look, I've told you, we've done, we've done the newcomer, new cover, new cover, new cover.
Starting point is 00:03:09 New cover, new cover, new cover. Never made it, veteran. And so now we're on the downward, we're on the downward. We got on the upward and it felt good, didn't it? Because we were like, where we could run workshops? Where will this end? Where will this end? It's ended.
Starting point is 00:03:20 We could run workshops in how to never make it. Oh, I'm not doing that. I've done that. I'm never doing it again. No one wants to hear from me about anything. I do. No, you don't. Nobody does.
Starting point is 00:03:33 I do. I love hearing from you about your views on things. No, it's one of my favourite things. Yeah, but only so you can sort of laugh at me. No, no. I see you as a wise lady. I see you as a veteran. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Well, I feel good about that. I see you as a wise lady. I do proffer advice. Actually, embarrassing. Well, you've got gut biome advice for the young people. I've got to look at your gut. Trying to talk to young people and thinking you're connecting with them talking about gut, about gut,
Starting point is 00:04:05 and then just blinking back at you. I mean, that is exactly, that is exactly what happened. Just a poor young actress looking at me like, full of dreams. Newcomer, newcomer, newcomer, newcomer, newcomer. She's on the newcomer. She's on the newcomer.
Starting point is 00:04:19 She's on that bit. Dreams, hopes, ambitions, all that. And you're like, if you thought about your gut biome. I mean, I literally interrupted all of her dreams to ask her about a gut biome. I mean, it wakes me up. 3 a.m.
Starting point is 00:04:30 that conversation. I can't believe I did that. And also, have you ever done that when you start talking about something and you know the person you're talking to isn't interested? Yep. You can see it. But you're like, I've committed to this.
Starting point is 00:04:44 I've got to get to the end. So I'm going to end. Well, what we do with those moments is you just try and play it for jokes, don't you? You just go, I've started on something, I'm way out of my depth, I'll gag it up. Yeah, I think I was so out of my depth, the gags weren't coming.
Starting point is 00:04:58 And so it just got more earnest. Yeah. Yeah, very honest. about gut flora. Who are we talking to today, Jen? We are talking to Alison on this week's episode. Who I love. We love her. She's a Canadian ray of sunshine. She is uber positive all the time. If Alison should have a moment of negativity, it feels like the world's gone upside down. It doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:05:23 It feels like she's tipped into magical realism. It's magical realism and, you know, turns out I'm not into that. No, she was so wonderful. You're right. She is a really, she has a very sunny disposition, that woman. She's, I've got a positive vibe. She's on tour at the moment and I cannot recommend her show enough. I've seen it and it's bloody brilliant. And we had a fine old time having a chat with my dear dear friend. I love her pictures.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Yeah, we loved her photos. Alison June Smith, my podcast pal. Yay. Oh yes, you too have a podcast. Yeah, we've got podcast. See, you must be, like, sick of each other in the form of podding together, or is it just... We don't pod in. We're pod on Zoom.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Yeah. Because Alison lives in Manchester, so we... Do you? We don't pod in the same room. Why didn't I know that? Yeah, I've lived in Manchester. So I lived in London for like two years, but in the 11 years I've been here, I've always been Manchester. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Alison is now going on tour. Mm-hmm. For the first time. For the first time. Oh, it's your first tour. This is exciting. Yeah. I've never...
Starting point is 00:06:34 Look, because... I mean, I do. the circuit. I've been a comedian going for a long time. I'm not going to say how many years because I don't want to do. Oh, say. Two hundred. I'm enjoying saying how long I've been going now. It's sort of not, it's fun to sort of tip into veteran status. It is, it is. Okay. I've been going to go 23 years now. Yes. Decades. I'm 23 years old in regards to being a comedian. Being in the game 23 years is something to celebrate. If you can make a living for totally. Do you know what I mean? I just think that's such a huge achievement. Thinking of new jokes for 23 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking miraculous. Changing and growing.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Yes. But, you know, I didn't think I was going to be a comic. Like, that wasn't on the cards. I wanted to be an actress, right? Very much like Joan Rivers. I wanted to be an actress. And the only reason I got into comedy was because comedy was about, it had nothing to do with how I looked.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Because, look, you can be a brilliant actor. You can be very talented. But let's be honest, a lot of film and television is, do you look what we need? Yeah. Well, it's about casting. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, what is a performance medium?
Starting point is 00:07:34 that doesn't, you know, I don't have to fit a look. And that's when I was like, oh, maybe I'll try stand-up comedy. Because that just requires me to be funny. And it's more me. It was up to me. I had control. So that's the only reason I ever started to do stand-up and then it just... And you started in Canada?
Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah. And how long were you doing it there before you came here? About eight years. Okay, so it was pretty established. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had been going, like I had filmed a TV special. Right, right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And then, but I just knew there was more work over here. and I had a British passport because, you know, my dad is from Manchester, my grandmother's from Manchester, and I had always had this British passport and just never even dawned on me to use it. An ex-boyfriend who was a comedian was like, you should really get your passport. There's lots of work in England. And this was like a decade ago or whatever. And then one day I was in my apartment in Toronto.
Starting point is 00:08:20 I had moved to Toronto and this, the passport fell on the ground. And I was like, oh, oh my God, I have a British passport. No, why? And I was beginning to feel the ceiling of Canada because there is a very low ceiling in Canada. We are totally engulfed by the US, so there is no celebrity system in Canada. There was no TV places for comedians to be seen. Nobody, there was no celebrity, nothing. If you were a Canadian, you just got to get out and go to the States, and that's how you get seen.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Really? So as soon as you got here, you were like, right, this is where I'm staying now. Well, yeah. Like, I came over a couple of times to, like, visit. Because I always believed, like, you got to check out a place. I never was like, I'm going to go to England and start making money. My first trip was, let's see if I like it. Let's try and get in places.
Starting point is 00:09:02 But had you been coming back and forth anyway to the UK? You were familiar with the UK? Well, the first trip, no, I had never really come to the UK. Despite this family connection with Manchester and the sitting part of it. No, not until I decided to move to the UK, but my first trip was a trip to see if I liked it. And then after the first trip, I realized, this is how long ago it was, I realized if I can get on with junglers, that guarantees me. A certain amount of money a year.
Starting point is 00:09:28 Exactly. And I was living in Manchester living with a friend's aunt. She was charging me like 200 quid a month to live there. And I thought if I could get a couple. And so I stocked junglers. Then my next trip out, I showcase for them. And then I called them like every week following. And eventually she was like, well, you are, you won't give up, will you?
Starting point is 00:09:46 And I was like, no. Donna. Donna. I will keep calling Donna. And she's like, all right. Well, if you move to the UK, I guarantee you. Donna was pretty good like that. She guaranteed me two weekends a month.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Okay. So for me, I was like, that's something to work with. That's starting. Yeah. And so that's when I moved over when I was like, okay, I'm guaranteed this. And then I just kind of went from there. And the north, there was a lot of gigs. And I also thought there was, because I come from like a road working background.
Starting point is 00:10:12 I'm from Alberta. I'm in Canada where there's like distances between gigs. So I was like, Manchester kind of suits that vibe for me. Whereas I knew London was Showcase City. And I thought, well, I don't, if you're in Showcase City and maybe you get a bad showcase, like that could really. So I was like, I'll just stay up north and work and make money and figure out the country. and then slowly do a little bit of London and do a little bit of London.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a plan. I had a plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just ask you one question? I don't think I've ever asked you this. Yeah. Is that because this is your first tour show, yeah. Did you know what you wanted to say?
Starting point is 00:10:47 Because I feel like your first tour show is quite a big deal in terms of like showcasing who you are as a comic. And I don't know. I just feel like it's quite, yeah, it's like a, it's like one of those stages in your career. as a comic. I just don't know how you, why you decided to do it this year and because I've been moaning at you for a while. You have been encouraging me. See, I'll take a positive spin on it. You have been encouraging me for quite some time. I think because for the first time ever I was like,
Starting point is 00:11:16 you know what, with the change of social media, with the change of everything, people can find you and know who you are. I think before I thought there was no point in touring because I'm not on any TV shows. I'm not on who's going to know me. So I'm like, Now the world is such a different place. Audiences have changed so much that I'm like, what would the ultimate joy be? People being there for you, you're not having to worry whether or not they like you, they're already in.
Starting point is 00:11:41 And then just being able to deliver things that you want to say. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, she's saying, she's saying yes. She's in the room. Look at the cat not giving a shit. Doesn't care at all. Keep forgetting you've got a dog care. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Sorry about that. No. That was a really good statement that she was actually. I think that's a really good way to, what she was saying is now let's move on to the photos. So. Listen, I've got to go to, we're going to go to the first picture. Okay. What's going on there?
Starting point is 00:12:18 Let's unpack this because, look. Perspective is definitely playing its part. Yeah, my head looks massive. Why is your head so big? I have no idea. I think it was a bad photographer. I think we went to one of those like... It's not the angle.
Starting point is 00:12:32 I don't think... It's an angle issue. I mean, maybe I had a big head when I was a child. I certainly don't now, but like... Well, it's a massive head. It's a massive head. It's a massive head. It's like I look like a bubble.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I think it's a perspective. It's an angle thing. You look a little doll. Yes. You know like the dolls, so they've got little bodies and... Like a 60s ornament. Yeah, yeah. What I love about that picture, particularly is the fringe, the bangs.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Why I always love it is because my father cut my fringe. And he did the putting cellotape, like tape, clear tape, and then like, but that always goes wrong, everyone. And that is evidence of how it goes really wrong. Because the bowl cut, what we know to be the bowl cut, he was like, I take the bowl cut and I raise it to a celotape cut. Yeah. Because celetate doesn't stick to hair. No, as we found out. And the hair very much moves.
Starting point is 00:13:20 And as is the evidence there by whatever the hell fringes that. You look cool with it. Well, you know, I didn't have much choice. What I love is that my parents were like, well, you know, it's just a evidence. just go with it. So tell me about who this little girl is. What's your childhood? Quiet. I was a quiet child. Really? Oh my God. It was so quiet. In fact, in like grade two, they took me out to test me because they're like, she doesn't talk. Is she okay? I was just a really quiet child. I never wanted to like cause upset. So I was just, my mom used to always say,
Starting point is 00:13:50 oh, you were so mature from such a young age. You just, you were so quiet. You cried a lot. I was like, I think that's a parenting thing. But anyway. I love the interpretation. Different generations have different ways of dealing with. She's a real mature child. You didn't cause many problems. Because now we'd be like, why is this child not talking? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:09 What's wrong with it? Yeah. No, they didn't even take me to a specialist. The school was like, we, she doesn't talk. Yeah, but like now it's, our attitude is so different. There'd be more hand-wringing. I think, you know, Alison, you haven't really changed that much. She was still very much that person that comes into a room and wants to make everybody feel okay.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Well, look at the eyes. You can even see me. sussing out the room. Is everyone, what's going on? I don't know how I feel about this photographer, our mom and dad in the room, what's going on? Yes. And that sort of, the blouse,
Starting point is 00:14:37 there's a sort of, you do look like a senior person in the body of a child. You look like your sort of, a ruffled collar. Yes. Like a senior civil servant that's trapped in the body of a child.
Starting point is 00:14:51 I love that waistcoat, though. I had a velvet, is that velvet? I believe it is velvet. So that green velvet waistcoat that you had, I had a maroon one. with a gold trim. Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Oh, lovely. Yeah. Do you remember those? Yeah. There's a lot of maroon, I recall. Colots. Oh, Colots. I had loads of clots.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Clots were massive in the 80s. And I had a younger brother. So when my dad did the laundry, he would put my brother in my collots because he thought they were Jess's trousers. It's like, that carries collots! Also, collots. Because they sort of doubled up like, my mum couldn't get me in a skirt.
Starting point is 00:15:23 That was the thing that you had in the 80s. You'd put your kid in collots. For anyone who doesn't know what collats are, it's like a skirt short, combo kind of really baggy long trousers like so the length of a knee yeah it went to the knee yeah yeah but it was a skirt yeah but if you want to sit cross-legged you can surprise trousers you want to do a kick go go yeah you can't great yeah bring back collats I say bring back collots where did the colots go but so um how old are you there you looks I mean it's it's you could be uh two you could be
Starting point is 00:15:54 12 I can't I think it was how old would I be there? What is that? I'm going to say you're three or four. Yeah, I was going to say three or four. I think would that would be. You're super cute. Super cute. I was little.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I was a little. Yeah, you do. You look tiny. Yeah. So the dichotomy of interpreting a quiet person becoming a performer is ever interesting, isn't it? So when did you make the journey between quiet person and public speaker? Ah, junior high, middle school, age of 13, when I was trying to find my place and I found my drama class and that's when I found home.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Is that where you found your people? That's where I found home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all been there, babe. When you find your tribe, you're like, hello! I literally remember the day it happened. We were doing a mask workshop. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:42 Yeah, masking and I put on a mask of an old man. And I started to play this character of the old man and everyone in the class was like, they couldn't stop watching me. They're like, she's so funny. She's so good. And I think it was, because I had been so ridiculed, I was a little bit bullied. So I think having the mask and being someone different and then all of a and having all the eyes on me and then being like, wow, she's so good at being somebody else.
Starting point is 00:17:03 I was like, well, that's what I will just continue to do then for the rest of my. And that's when I found like where I could be. Yeah, where it was safe. And I know you've talked about this a lot on our podcast about feeling, you know, when you're a kid, you're bullied and having to manage yourself and manage your, you know, yourself as an adolescent, which I think was pretty rough. I guess when you get on stage and people enjoy you. I mean there's no feeling like that. There's a little bit of worship going on there, which I always love. Come on.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So is this you and your sister? Yeah. So that's my little sister. And my grandma, who is from Manchester, and she would fly to Canada every summer and spend the summer with us.
Starting point is 00:17:52 So my parents both worked. She would come in the summer and be with us. So every summer of my childhood, my grandma would come and stay with us. So she was kind of like my third. third parrot in the summer. So we took your family to Canada? My dad was in the British Army. He was a plumber.
Starting point is 00:18:09 And then when he got out of the army, I think he came back to Manchester and just looked around and was like, I don't, there's nothing really, like he was what, 22 or something? And I think he was like, I just, he had seen Christmas Island. He had traveled to Africa. And I think he just wanted to keep saying the world. So he just was like, they needed plumbers in either Australia or Canada. He had watched a movie about. Cowboys and was like, I like that, I'm going to Canada.
Starting point is 00:18:35 So what year would that have been? 70s? Yeah, 70s. Yeah, that's. And did he go straight to, because you grew up in Calgary. So he never lived in another part of Canada and then ended up there. Right to Calgary. Because it's an interesting, that's not a part of Canada that people tend to visit, is it?
Starting point is 00:18:52 Nobody knows Calgary. It's like Vancouver or Toronto or up in quite a lake. He wanted the remote. He wanted the countryside and the nature. I think there was just, that's where work was. I see. a plumber, it was like, Calgary was a booming... Is that where the oil is?
Starting point is 00:19:05 Yeah. It's like, like we were saying in the car. It's Texas. Where I grew up, Calgary is like Dallas. So I'm from Alberta, which is like Texas, the Texas of Canada. And Calgary's like Dallas, right? Big of the hair, the closer to God. Big trucks, big, you know, like... Yeah, that's where I grew up.
Starting point is 00:19:20 It's very like... The bigger the hair, the closer to God is... Elaborate. Yeah. And I so he... I think that's why he went there. There was just... And he made your mom there? Yes. And she's from there? She is from Princess. Prince Edward Island, which is another part of Canada. And so she moved to...
Starting point is 00:19:35 Your mom has a very specific Canadian accent. Oh, it's very... It's that kind of... It's almost Fargo. Like, it's East Coast. They have a little bit... Some of them sound very Irish. Right.
Starting point is 00:19:44 It's a very... Do do do do, do. Like a singy song. Yeah. It's... Yeah, and so my mom has a very distinctive... I'm sure I amp it up a little bit for comedic purposes. But she is very much like that.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Whenever she talks, it's a very... Yeah. You know, even if she's... But she can... turn, right? So she's very like, oh, sweetheart. Who ate all the lettuce? Like, it's a very, like, very quick changes.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were really close to your grandma. She came every year and you were really close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She, I mean, she must have been a pretty intrepid woman. Because she doesn't look like a spring chicken in this picture. And she was coming over for six weeks every summer. She taught us how to do cartwheels.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Like, this was the age. So she must have been in like her 70s thing. Yeah, for sure. And that's a long. And also, that's. just to be clear, Alberta... It's far away. It's like West Coast.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Oh, yeah. And think about the cost of it at that time. British Airways would have been the only thing that existed. So I was like... What about Air Canada? Oh, yeah, maybe. Air Canada. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Like, oh, maybe. She must have, I mean, she must have loved those summer trips. I think she really did. Because she got to see all this cool stuff. Like, and she'd buy cowboy boots and they'd drive to Alaska. Like, my uncle would take, you know, like she got to see... And you're right by the Rocky Mountains as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:00 It's a beautiful part of Canada to be. I mean, I know you're from there, so you're kind of a little bit like, you know, whatever. But she was from Manchester. But she's from Manchester. Wow. This is good. Yeah. She left Moss Side to come all the way.
Starting point is 00:21:10 I'm sure the first time she saw my parents' house, which, you know, we just have a little nice little bungalow. But when you compare it to a lot of the homes in the UK, I'm sure she was like, you have a palace. You have succeeded. But Canada is just bigger. Everything's bigger. Yeah, there's more space. I mean, Alberta is even different from like going somewhere like Toronto. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:28 This culturally is quite different. Even those two cities, let a lot of. going over to... Yeah, and also I didn't come to London. I came to Manchester. I was in the north. It's not being trapped in a Lowry painting, isn't it? There's something very specific about Manchester.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Yeah, it's... My first agent was Scouse, and I remember she would call me... And I didn't know what she was saying a lot of the time. I didn't know what she was saying, and she'd be like, oh, can I swear? Am I allowed to... Yeah, she'd be like... You fucking kidding. I go, we'll get a bit of money, a few bob in your pocket, love, and, you know, chick.
Starting point is 00:22:07 And I'd be like, I don't even know what's going on, but yes, yes, yes, I'll do the gig. Is that a gig you're offering me? Yeah, I'll do it. Like, it was such a, it was a real culture shock. And again, this country 10 years ago. It's changed. It's so much. Everything's changed.
Starting point is 00:22:24 My best mate did her degree in Manchester uni, so I used to go up quite a lot in the 90s, and it just was another play. I mean, another way. I lived in Peckham at the time and she lived in Rush Home. That's where I live now. I live in Rush Home. Very different kinds of,
Starting point is 00:22:37 I remember once seeing this guy just stood in the middle of the road, pissed out of his fucking head, swinging a belt, buckle out. And I was like, where am I? It was the first time I'd ever been in an off license
Starting point is 00:22:50 that had glass around the booth and you had to buy it through a kind of crack in the booth. You know, it was like, what is this place? Yeah. This is another, landscape altogether.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I mean, like, Manchester was a place that when I first started gigging, you couldn't buy a coffee. I remember you telling me this story. I just used to find it so weird that you could, you go into a cafe and you'd be like, can I get a coffee? And they'd be like, fucking coffee. We've got mellow bird. Yeah, exactly. Have a cupboard to see your pot. It's not fucking mum.
Starting point is 00:23:18 She reminded me of the other day of her story where she was sitting in this little terrorist in Rush home and then this, she came home early from college one day and this bloke was in her house, like a burglar. And she was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he went, all right, all right. And just went out of the back carrying a telly. All right, all right. And just look to grease and irritating. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Just fucking nick in your telly. Oh, I love it. I love it so much. Like, I've just realized, too, that my favorite northern female saying, you know if a girl says this to you, shit's about to get real. I'm not being funny, right? Oh, yeah. But as soon as I'm not being funny, right?
Starting point is 00:23:55 You better to get your head kicked in. Oh, no, nothing funny is about to happen. Like, you know, I'm not being funny, right? But, ooh, what's about to happen? Yeah, it's very exciting. But, yeah, but I mean, Manchester's changed so much. I also just have to really put in a positive word for Manchester because literally to me now, I'm like, it is, it's changed so much in 10 years.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Yeah. It's so, I mean, what do you want? You can get it in Manchester. You can get everything you want in Manchester that you could get in London, only it's a bit more affordable and you have a little bit more time in the day. That's how I feel about Manchester. Yeah. Alison, tell us what's the next picture you want to look at.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Yeah, you tell us. I'm going to jump. Okay, so let's do. Do you want to do Jody's wedding? Yeah, let's do my best friend's wedding. That was a nice one. That was just a secret shot that I didn't know. So my best friend, her name is Jody.
Starting point is 00:24:48 She has been my best friend since university. She is my rock. I think everyone needs to find a Jody. A Jody. A supportive but yet tough love best friend. Everyone, not a yes person. You don't need a yes person in the best friend. friend. You need someone who's like, I am telling you this because I love you and here's the
Starting point is 00:25:07 truth. And so, tough love. She's always been that person for me. So tell us about Jody. So Jody is, like, you know, you just have those best friends, those people that you meet. We met over a taco salad at a university, a taco salad. Oh, yeah. What university was this? University of L.A. Lethbridge, Alberta. My face did a really quick turnaround. Even I was like, you never told me you went to Alpersa? Lethbridge, Alberta, L.A. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:38 It was a very rural university, like a lot of small towns. And Jody and I actually, once we met, we realized we had been living parallel lives. Because she lived kind of just outside of Calgary in a place called Blackie. I grew up in Calgary, but I used to go to this small town called High River. Because I had a friend in High River, and I used to love going to this small town because you could have, like, you could drink. Like, in the city, it's hard to drink. But out in small towns, you could go out there and, like, bush parties and like. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I had never experienced that. So we realized over time, oh, my God, we were probably at all of these same parties. Like getting drunk as like 17-year-olds. Like, did you make out with Jamie? She's like, yeah, I made out with Jamie. I was like, I made out with Jamie. I was like, I made out with the same boys. We went to the same party.
Starting point is 00:26:19 So you were destined to me. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And were you doing the same degree? No, she is an accountant. Uh-huh. Mert, me. Be-boo, be-boo.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I always joke. And she always says to me, don't, don't ever tell me. This is a joke. She's always like, don't tell the audience you used to be a teacher. The moment you say that, they will think you're boring. I was like, thank you, accountant. Yeah. For that feedback.
Starting point is 00:26:43 I really appreciate it. Because you guys are wild. So yeah, she's an accountant. But she is truly one of the funniest people. Like, it's interesting because when I introduced her to comedians, often comedians will want to keep in touch with her. And I've had several Canadian comedians be like, like, they'll send her joke ideas or, like, chat with her.
Starting point is 00:27:01 And I was like, oh, my, you are. trying to get my best friend to help you. Because she's not, but she's just so funny. She's naturally funny. And she gets it. Yeah, yeah. For a lot of years when I was beginning,
Starting point is 00:27:13 a lot of the best stuff that ever, we would just like sit together and like brainstorm a joke. And she would like look at me and be like, okay, but why is that thing funny? Like what is funny about that? You never wanted to perform with her? No, she's not really a performer.
Starting point is 00:27:29 She had no desire. But she enjoys the whole thing of like joking with friends. friends, banter, being in the room, being funny in the room. It's so present. It's so good. So many, so many of the funniest people I know would never dream of stepping on stage. But like, when you're hanging out with them, they're just hilarious.
Starting point is 00:27:47 But if you say to them... But comedians are chasing that, aren't they? They're chasing that kind of natural, funny, funny. If you can bring that when you force fall in love and have a good crap with your best mate, if you can bring the juice of that. And contrive it. And contrive it and replicate it on stage. That's the real deal, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:28:03 That's the elixir of comedy. Yeah. And she's a smart person. Like, so Stuart Francis, who is a very good maid of mine, very talented comedian, who's now retired, the first time he met Jody, he was like, she is unbelievably funny. Right. And I was like, I know. And he's like, but has zero interest.
Starting point is 00:28:23 And it doesn't want to do it. Thank God. Yeah, but she, yeah, she's, and she's just really special. She must miss you. So she lives, she says in Canada, I see. Yeah. Yeah, in Calgary. So, yeah, to not.
Starting point is 00:28:32 It was hard. It was hard. You're a long way away from. each other. It was hard. It took, it took some time to, you know, but we, you know, she's, I'll never let go of her. I'll never let go of her and she'll never let go of me. And she's like, you know, till the end. I've started to be like, so when we're old, like, are we going to get a house together all of us and hire one person to take care of all of us? Like, is that the plan? Did you promise? That Danny already knows. Yeah, Danny's like, great, no problem. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah. So, oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. Cato Cephora of the FACET that I just deniches that I energize over? Mm, it's the ensemble. The format standard and mini regrouped, what's the aband? And the embellage,
Starting point is 00:29:13 too be pretty pretty to do you. And I know that I should be they offer. But I'm sorry the summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I'm, I'm sure. The most ensemble of the fadowdo of the Fettos Cepora. Summer Fridays, Rare
Starting point is 00:29:25 Beauty, Way, Cifora Collection and other part of Vite. Procurry you for a major quality of free.
Starting point is 00:29:31 On link on c4 or in This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe. But this time, why not look a little further? To Dubai. A city that everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers,
Starting point is 00:30:22 and epic desert adventures, to museums that showcase the future, not just the past. Choose from 14 flights per week between Canada and Dubai. Book on emirates.ca. today. I remember you did Panto. Was this pre-pandemic? Yes. This is the fairy?
Starting point is 00:30:41 Yes. In, uh, was it Preston? Preston. Preston Guildhall. And I got to be the fairy godmother in Cinderella. I had seen a Panto. I, Canada, we don't have Pantos. I didn't even know what Pantamine was.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I think it's a British thing. I don't think Panto exists outside of this country. And why would it? I know. It's so fun, though. Are you kidding? It's like Rocky Horror Picture Show for children. you get to be a part of the interaction he's behind you it's like this it's so it's so
Starting point is 00:31:10 magical i gotta tell you i have been to some shockers where i think has time stood still i'd you know when it's like look and no disrespect but it's like it's people from the village they've turned up they've put on a show yeah and chloe's bought tickets and i've gone there's a reason there's only people from the village here and us it's because everybody knows dave i don't know dave i don't think dave's funny. Dave, you're not David doesn't even think he's funny. Dave doesn't think, Dave's not convinced by his own ability to
Starting point is 00:31:38 complete this task as buttons. Dave wants to dress up as a lady. Oh yeah. Oh, Dave. I always wanted to dress up. I mean, that desire for British men to dress up as like kind of not even women. They're not women. Like a dame. No, a dame's not a woman. It's a pantervine dame. It's, what is that?
Starting point is 00:31:57 What is that? What is that? I don't know. What is that tradition? Look, we grew up with, like, You know when everyone got... I've seen Matthew Kelly do it five times in my life time. Yes, I mean like... Why Matthew Kelly twice a time? He's just always doing Panto somewhere in the M25.
Starting point is 00:32:12 It is a magical photo. I was... And it was just captured backstage. I didn't even know the photographer got me. I just... You look beautiful. My wand had lit up for the first time, so I was so excited because I was like, oh, the lights are working.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Like, it was just... Magic. It was. And I remember... So the runs, and the best shows to me were the all-kid shows. Like when they bust in the kids from the school. Oh, yeah, yeah. right, the daytime shows.
Starting point is 00:32:34 And I remember the last one that I did. And I remember the curtain coming down and just looking at these little girls in the audience who were also holding their little wands and just the look on their faces. Oh, don't you don't make me cry now. I did cry. And, you know, even the last final show,
Starting point is 00:32:51 it was whatever, like adults, like, great. But it was that last kid's show where I was like, oh, remember this moment, remember this moment, and just their faces. And I just remember thinking like, don't forget this, don't forget this, don't forget this. You're right to hold that. because it's the antithesis of the cynicism of the comedy circuit.
Starting point is 00:33:07 It's like the other end of a massive long stick. And one end is like the jaded club circuit. Yeah. Working men's clubs. Yeah. Whatever. And then the other end is the magic of like you say. Some kids first exposure to, I used to be a fairy.
Starting point is 00:33:26 I used to be a children's entertainer and I had massive wings. I genuinely, before I became a jaded lady, loved it. I loved it. And I did used to like looking into the eyes of those little girls. When I used to have these little bells, they'd lie on the floor and their mum would say, right, close your eyes. And the fairy's coming now because they'd booked a fairy for their party. And they'd all close their eyes and be like that.
Starting point is 00:33:50 And then I'd ring these little bells and just, and I'd like, shut up. And then they'd go, open your eyes. And they genuinely, because they were kids, they thought I was a fairy. And I, I mean, your wings are great, but mine were fucking amazing. They were huge. Big, spectacular. They were enormous. They were ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:34:06 A woman who ran this company was mad, and she threw loads of money at the costumes. And I had these huge wings and body glitter and a bit of a hangover. You'd always see a bit of brass jacket. Stanker Lager. You want to be like, hey, kids. But it was what you just described.
Starting point is 00:34:26 There was a moment of magic. You've really captured a moment there and created, painted a scene that's quite special, Kerry. You, these beautiful wings coming out, the bells are being played. Body glitter. Body glitter. And then just that whiff of... Larga?
Starting point is 00:34:45 Lager. Just a little bit of... A little bit of Lager on your... A little bit of a blacker on your... A little bit of a real fairy. I remember Feet, I hearing a story of another children's entertainer, and they said they used to be a bit jaded and the kids were a bit full-on and they'd have a hangover or whatever so they take to all these little kids,
Starting point is 00:35:03 there's a magic invisible line. And if you go over it too close to me, you'll die. Oh my God, that is so harsh. That is. It's just a tincture of darkness. You know what? Actually, I think some kids need that and I approve.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Alison, I'm going to look at your photo, which is you and your... Should we do the one of my mom? Yeah, because it is a great photo. It's a great photo. And it's one of my favorite. bit. You look over the moon. Well, because the guy, one of the strippers grabbed my butt right at the right when they took the photo. He was standing beside me. Which one? The one with the big smile on. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:35:45 that cheeky. And I was like, do, do, do. And right at photo time, he just like, oh my God. I would have definitely right hooked him. And I was like, oh my God. And if you could please take a look at, where is my mother's hand? Anyway, moving on. Whoa. Why are you, why are there strippers here? So my mom for her, one of her birthdays, she had never been to see male exotic dancers. My mom is a very... Exotic. Yeah. Why are they exotic?
Starting point is 00:36:12 Because they're naked. Yeah, exactly. And she just wanted to go. And my mom is a little boy crazy. She always has been. And she was like, I'd just never see I'd like to go. So I took my mother to see male exotic dancers. And this is a photo.
Starting point is 00:36:25 This is in Calgary. Right. You just like look it up. Yeah. You just Google it up. Yeah. Took it a little. Was it the chipping downs?
Starting point is 00:36:32 Oh, certainly not. No, no, no, no. Is this around the time of the full Monty sort of time? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And this was at a club called the back alley, which was a real skeezy club in Calgary at the time.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Oh, interesting euphemism. This guy's face here. He feels like he's very surprised. But he's even there. Yeah, he's like, I hope this isn't public because I'm on a couple of registers. Yeah. Day one. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Why am I? No. No kids. No kids. It's a weird thing. But I love it that it's a kind of my mom wanted to go. So we took my mom. Well, and I think this is a thing.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Like, for my mom particularly, I was like, you have never experienced anything like this and you want to experience this. So I am going to take you. Yeah. And we will go. And it feels naughty. And also it's not, you can't take it too serious.
Starting point is 00:37:15 It's quite a reverend and daft as well. So, you know. And she was angry because they don't take it all off. That is another thing they didn't take it all. She was like, why don't they take it all off? I was like, because of women like you. So tell us about the love of your life. Let's finish with this last picture.
Starting point is 00:37:34 So love of my life. This is Greece. This is the first time we went to Greece. Danny is a comedian as well, but we didn't meet through comedy. We met at a wedding. And my friend Haley Ellis, another comedian, kept trying to push us together. She's like, I just think you two would really, we had never met. So I lived in Manchester.
Starting point is 00:37:49 We had never met, never met, never met. Met at this wedding. We were both so hammered. Like, I don't even remember what we said to one another. So romantic. Yeah. And then from that moment on, we were just together because then I went to Canada shortly after. He took me on one date.
Starting point is 00:38:04 I just moved to live. London from Manchester. Then I met Danny and I went back up for one date and then I flew to Canada for a month and he called me. He Skyped me every day for a month. And that's when I was like, okay, well he's not messing around. Yeah, he's keen. Yeah. So and then just from that point on, we've been together. So it's been 10 years now. He's just such a, he's such a joy. Like he's just a happy energy. Yeah. You know, which is, which is really nice. Yeah, he's a good guy. Comedian couples when they work they work yeah because people are always a bit like you shouldn't blah blah blah but we all know that it can really work yeah because you really do have the same kind of life and worldview and
Starting point is 00:38:44 yeah but also he's really happy for you he's really happy for your success there doesn't seem to be any part of him there's like oh god i just so annoyed when you got that thing he's like oh my god allison that's incredible so it can work when you have that yeah when you when you always wanting the best for your partner and for their success to be your success when you can share it. Yeah. Because otherwise it's not going to work. Yes, and that's when it doesn't work. But yeah, I mean, I've met Danny many times.
Starting point is 00:39:12 He's such a lovely guy. Yeah. Do you a gig together much? We get to, look, so it's been nice in the last few years that more promoters are like, hey, do you and Danny want to do the gig together? And I'm like, yeah. Like, and it is nice because I don't ever want to make it like, well, you have to book us. But with local promoters now they're beginning to realize like, oh, do you.
Starting point is 00:39:28 They can save on a hotel room. Yeah. Absolutely. They're like, he can open, you can close. You guys want to bring the dog? Like, yes, all of that. Oh, great. So it's like, it just makes it much more attractive prospects, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:39:39 Yeah. Or like if I have to miss on family things or, you know, like, if I have to leave for gigs or something. And just to have him look at me and smile and be like, go make that money, honey. Go make that money. You know, like he's like, you are, if when you're out, I know that money has been made. Good. Go get it. Go get it.
Starting point is 00:39:56 I thought you were going to say, go make those people laugh. No. No. We'll get that money, honey. Yeah, yeah. You know. It's already established. It doesn't matter how the good goes as long as we all get paid.
Starting point is 00:40:04 You get paid. It's great. Sometimes they're good. Sometimes they're bad. I thought you wanted to evoke those children's faces at that pantow vibe. That kind of magic. That kind of giving them joy in a Saturday night. Which is why maybe touring will be fun because maybe I will get that experience.
Starting point is 00:40:18 You'll get that magic. You do. Touring is different. And I would say, please go and see Alison on tour. You supported me on a number of different dates and you were always brilliant. brilliant. You're so kind. Such a brilliant comedian and I would highly recommend anyone to go and see you if they get a chance on this tour. Where can people find your dates, Alison, if they want to come see you? Alison June Smith.com. So go to my website. The dates are listed there. Allison is a weird spelling,
Starting point is 00:40:47 but it doesn't matter. A-W-L-Y-S-O-N. My mom liked, oh, my grandma liked a Y. She said it looked more posh. You can do lovely twirling things with a Y. Exactly. Speaking of a woman with a Y in her name. I should be Jennifer with a Y. Do you know those exist? No. Yeah. You can do Jennifer with the Y. Did you know about this?
Starting point is 00:41:03 It's J-E-N-Y-F-E-R. Genifer. Why do you do that? I think you should do that. Be part of the Y team. Once I start referring to myself as Jennifer, we know I've had a stroke. Anyway, Alison, it's been so lovely having you on this podcast. That's so weird that you do have your own podcast.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Made you know. We'll be recording our podcasts later on in the week. But it's so nice having you on this podcast with. It's like podcast foot and mouth. Do you like my haircut? I had noticed. I couldn't tell. I was like,
Starting point is 00:41:46 has she just done something with her hair? Yeah. It's actually my stylist said it's not radical. It's maintenance. So people won't be sure, but I know. But you know. And guess what? I know.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Well, no, I know now because you told me. She's a really good hairdresser that I've found. I love her. Have you had a bit of colour in it? A bit of colour. She did my roots. Did your roots? She just.
Starting point is 00:42:07 shaped it here and then she took my bed hair sort of she shaped the back she's really good she's like a wizard she is a wizard I love what she's done with your hair the color is great and this is all really exciting for when you go away do you find that when people say I'm excited I'm doing a thing but I can't announce it yet and then you're like what you grow out in the bathroom who cares I do find I do find that kind of I can't bear it shut up no but then I also Can't say what I'm doing, which is, you know, there we are. But also, when people say exciting news, what? Something to announce in about five minutes.
Starting point is 00:42:45 And I'm like, what for me? Because exciting news, it only ever happens to me. Exciting news for you isn't exciting news for me. Exciting news from you is just information. Exciting news. If it's exciting news, what is it? Am I going on holiday? Have I won somebody?
Starting point is 00:42:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're exciting for them. You're exciting news. I would never say, guys, I got some exciting news. I mean, it's not exciting news. People do that, though. don't they? They go, I've got something to announce imminently. I don't care. And I think, I don't care. I don't, I don't care. I don't, I've got something to announce. My gut flora is 80%
Starting point is 00:43:19 better than yours. But you did have exciting times this weekend, didn't you? You went to Vienna. I went to Vienna for my dear friend Maureen Younger. Her, I'm not allowed to say the number of her birthday, ends in a zero. Okay. But let's say 38. And, sure. We'll say 30. That doesn't end in a zero. It doesn't end in a zero, but that's the number we've agreed upon. It's a lovely number. It's a lovely number. If you add a zero to that, it makes 380s, so she probably won't be happy with that, to be fair.
Starting point is 00:43:49 But we went to Vienna. In a gang. You went with a gang, didn't you? In a gang of middle-aged ladies. Middle-aged ladies. And it was really lovely. We had fantastic weather. As somebody that is an observer of humans, as we are as stand-up comedians,
Starting point is 00:44:04 I did think, if I actually... out some of the stuff that happened this weekend people would go you just made that up that's not a real thing you've tipped into national what is it called that genre fantasy something yeah fantasy when you go from naturalism into like flying I don't know natural natural he's got a note heighten naturalism no yeah whatever something like that yeah I might that might be not the thing that you're saying but I do know the thing that you're saying yeah anyway we were in the heightened state of naturalist fantasatast for the entire weekend.
Starting point is 00:44:39 And what was Vienna like? Yeah, it's beautiful. I don't know Vienna. No. Right. Vienna is very beautiful. This is my second time. Lots to see. Obviously, Vienna, the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. So, like, it's so much, like,
Starting point is 00:44:53 I think it was the home of European culture for, like, centuries. You know, you've got all the, I mean, Lys Heiden and Strauss and Mozart and Egon Schiele and Gustav Klimt and all of these, fantastic painters and musicians and composed. So you go to the galleries and all the architecture. You're doing all that. All of the architecture is stunning. You're so cultured.
Starting point is 00:45:14 I'm very cultured. I absorbed it. I brought it back. You're so high brow. I'm very high. High of the brow. But that's more because I've got a slightly receding hair. Magical realism.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Magical realism. Oh. Magical realism. Oh, magical realism. That's it. Oh my God. I can sleep tonight. That was going to stay with it.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Where someone's like signing on and then they fly. What, do you mean going on the doll and then flying? Yeah, yeah. Like they're like doing a big shot and then they fly. That's the juxtaposition of the two notions. Okay. Well, I've not seen that particular episode. We like even train spotting when he goes swimming down the toilet.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Yes, that's enough. It's magical reality. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Daraddy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 00:46:32 Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word what did you do yesterday I think that's too much isn't it that is that's over the top what did you do yesterday available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.