Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E16: Richard Herring

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

"I was rolling this ball of snow around and it was picking up all the cat shit..." This week we have the incredible Richard Herring who comes with stories of his great grandad's ventriloquist dummies, his first time abroad on his own, having testicular cancer, beating Kerry on Taskmaster and meeting his hero Michael Palin. Photo 01 - My Ventriloquist dummies Photo 02 - At the airport with my mum Photo 03 - A shitty snowman Photo 04 - Winning Taskmaster Champion of Champions Photo 05 - Meeting my hero Michael Palin PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get full-sized favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly

on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Okay, so I've got something I have to tell you. because I'm still suffering from it. So I went for a swim this morning. Oh, lovely. Yes, very lovely.

Oh, so beautiful. Although there is algae in the water at the moment, so it stinks. But anyway, aside from that, absolutely glorious, sun was out. I felt like I was on holiday, apart from the stench of algae. I came out,

and I was in a bit of a rush because I had to get back in time to get myself ready to then go and get a train to London. Okay, so that's just the backstory. Lovely backstory. A lovely backstory. It's important to have the backstory. The scene has been set.

Otherwise, it doesn't really make sense. Otherwise, why would you do that? Okay. I, a part of a swim club, went to the, to use the showers. Nobody there. I'm solo. I was like, I'm going to have a full shower. It's communal, but there's nobody there, right?

So I thought, great. When you say full shower, you mean everything without. I'm going to take my swim costume off is what I meant. And you're going to laver up. I'm lathering. I'm going to lathering. I'm going to lather up. You're going to laver up.

going to just be like all the areas i'm going to literally all all areas there's no no there's no no go areas all of the areas are going yeah got it okay got it the scene is continuing to be said we're not there yet we haven't lathed okay we're just in the shower thinking i've got a rush because i've but i've got all the lathering coming up i took off my swimming costume and i did the same to my son once when he was two and it was a disaster i took my swimming costume off so quick quickly. Oh. Do you know what happened, don't you?

You've done something to yourself. I've done something to myself. My nipples got caught in the swimsuit. As I took it down, I went, and then my nipples went, ah! And then they were like they were on fire. Like I had put them on a cheese grater, like someone had lit a match and pressed it against my nipple. I was in the shower going, holy shit, I can't even allow water to touch a nipple. That is how sensitive and sore my nipples are.

And even now, saw tits, yeah. And that's why, as I'm talking to you, how aggressively did you? Really aggressive. I've got to get out of here. And then, ah. Jen.

I did that. Jen. Did I ever tell you the story about when I did that with my son's swim costume and he was really licking? No. So we're at. Oh no. Yeah.

Well, wait. We're at the bit, Joel, please plug your ears because this is, should we have an email listeners? Now's the time to just fast forward this bit. So I, um, he, he, he, I was like, in a rush, we've got to go. Actually, Jess Foster Q is with me with her son as well. And I pulled my son's, uh, trunks down so fast. Oh.

That I made his dick bleed. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, you know when you do. Jen. I know, look.

I'm not. No. Oh my God. He's Paul. little penis. That's what I did. But do you know what? Carmically, it's come back. It's come back. You know, karma can take a wild come around, can't it? Yeah, now your tits copped it. It arrived. Your tits copped the karma. You're lucky that didn't come back in another form because my friend told me a story that her friend, a bloke, he was pulling up his kid's trousers and caught his penis or something

happened and it hurt him and he said, oh God, I'm so sorry and that was the end of that. Later, they were in a long queue at the supermarket and there was a quiet moment and the little boy said but why did you hurt my penis daddy in front of everyone and the whole queue in the supermarket

turned round and looked at him and the little boy why do you hurt my penis daddy oh no that's so There could have been a second part to your story. Yes, it's awful. And you did an awful thing by accident.

But he never mentioned his fingers. But it could have really come back badly in a shot. Mommy, why did you make my penis bleed? Anyway, we're not talking about that now. Harrow, anyone? Anyway, it was... Anyway, these things happen. These things do happen.

Yeah. I'm sorry that happened to both your son and you. Yeah. And, you know, you need to calm down. No, never done that. You've never pulled your swimsuit off. so quickly. Your nipples have been caught in the...

No. Joel, I mean... No. And I swim a lot. What? I swim quite a lot and I've... And then... Is your swimming costume too small?

No, but it's a speedo because I'm very fast. Okay, you've fallen for some bollocks. It's very close to the skin. Right. Right. And look, I think you need to calm down. I think you need to calm down. It sounds like you were being what my mum would call manic.

That's what my mum says to me, you're manic. Your mum is right. I think I was being manic. I did feel manic in that moment actually because I've got to get ready. And I, that's it. So I went, in a way that wasn't taking care. There was no self-awareness. There was no awareness of my own body.

It was just, let's get this off. And I'm still, the fallout is quite big actually. Well, my nipples are anyway, they're massive Look out for those It is a wild swim lady That can be a bit too rigorous With various things Like sometimes I see those ladies drying

themselves With towels Yeah, they really go for it Go for it Yeah, yeah You're like girls Come on Oh, you're gonna get

Take it easy You're gonna get a little fire Breathe down there Some sort of little rash Yeah You're gonna hurt yourself You're gonna chafe yourself It's a health and safety

Situation actually You're absolutely right A punishing, a punishing drying regime. No. It should be, it should be, listen, I think a very vigorous rub down is good actually because it's all about your circulation. And particularly women of our age, we need to work on our circulation. So you do need a rigorous rub down. Do you need to take the first two layers to get off?

It's delicate down there, isn't it? It's delicate down there. Oh, I mean like, like, whoa, whoa there. Calm that. Wow. Whoa. What you mean like a back and forth? Yes

That's too much Don't do that Yes Do you know what Like a straddling of the towel And then a Who does that? Who does that?

And if you do do that Why are you doing that in public? And they do it And then they just talk Oh yeah Just chatting Anyway Shirley I said to him

Well if you don't do any work You won't get an A I know I know There's something weird About talking to someone You'd barely know in absolutely start naked

with a leg up on a bench with a leg up winking at you you're like I I you've got to keep your eyes you've got to keep your eyes I try to look about a foot above their head

it does look weird but it means that should my eyes dip slightly I just catch the top of their head and nothing more Kerry tell me who are we talking to today right today we are talking to comedian podcaster writer

Actor? I've acted with him. He's an actor. I did a short film with him. Richard Herring. We're talking to Richard Herring, who was wonderful. He is a podcasting king. Oh, there is no one. Mildly intimidating. There is no one with as much experience with podcasting as Richard. I had to overcome my bitterness that he won Taskmaster Champion of Champions and beat me. I will let it go, Jen, because I will let it go, Jen, because I will. I am quite an involved person. Yeah, you never bring it up, except when Richard's name comes up and then you bring it up. But I, feelings were felt. I know. I remember when it happened and I heard a lot of those feelings. And I was not happy.

You weren't happy, yeah. But good for Richard. I'm fine about it now. No, it's fine. And it's so good that he included one of those photographs of when he won. That was really good. Anyway, here we are talking to the legendary Richard Herring. Richard, you've got, is that a snooker table?

Yeah, that's my snooker table. Is that the snooker? I swear I play myself at snooker. Are you good at snooker, Richard? No. Oh, come on. I bet you are. I haven't got any better.

I did play pool against my wife the other day and I was quite good. But no, I haven't got, I'm not, I mean, it's not really about being good at snooker. It's about trying to change snooker back to being a one-person sport and about making you know, sport should be you're only fighting against yourself I think there's not enough sport that you go to watch where people are bad at it

which is much more entertaining than people being good at it you don't know what's going to happen and it's kind of it's satirising the whole nature of sport in that you know people prefer me one or me too and though they're both me but people really get behind one of the two versions of myself The duality of Richard.

Richard, is there a... Is it 50-50? Does Me-1 versus Me-2? Or is Me-2 always, like, got the edge? It was, at the moment, it's 84-83 to Me-1. Though Me-2 was like 10 frames ahead for a while, then Me-1 has come back in the last 15 frames. And got a couple ahead.

And yesterday, I played one last night, and it was a draw. It was a rare draw. Me one's a family man but he's a bit conservative and unpleasant and me too is a sort of loner who's not got married and who's also a bit unpleasant

but they're both, they're the two halves of me but in lockdown I did 40 different characters so there was four there was four I did tournaments between 16 then 32 and then there was for some reason eight more got added on so they were all like some of them were quite desperate I can't really meant what they were

Is Katie okay? Is she all right? She's happy for me. She's happy for me. She's happy to be disappearing in the attic. You're occupied. It's better that you do this. Because the alternative is worrying.

I'm worried about the me one and me too monikers. I think maybe lose the me too. Yeah, well, I came up with me too first because I've been doing that podcast. It's your me too. Me too is the most likely to be. me too to think out of the two. So there we go. Let's have a look at your photos. We've got lots of photos here. Which one? I'm assuming this one in black and white, it would be the first photo that we well yeah. So that's that's my great granddad, Thomas Herring. Oh wow. This is very interesting

that the first, this is the first time we've had a photograph where somebody has chosen their first photo to be one of their ancestors, right, their relatives. Yeah. And so he does. He died in the 50s, so I never met him. But the ventriloquist dummies is holding there. Here, there he is. That's the ventriloquist dummy. Oh, that's so great. And so...

I mean, what shame, this isn't a visual medium, but you are holding. Oh my God. Yeah. That's incredible. They have really been looked after. We've slightly had... I mean, I've had them for quite a while,

and they did get a bit beaten up and I've had someone look at them and slightly improve them. But also, I like the fact they're quite battered. But during lockdown, as well as playing myself at Snooka in four personalities, I started doing a ventriloquist show with this guy mainly. This is Ali. But I did one of my first sketches I used them. So like when first did Edinburgh in 87.

With Stuart? Yeah, with Stuart and some other people. So we did a sketch team. And so one of the sketches I did was a sort of ventrilo. was that with these vegetarious dummies that, well, I'd always cover my mouth that the, so it was like a, you know, there would be somebody always covered, yeah, there'd be somewhere I'd always cover, cover my mouth and, you know, and it became more and more elaborate. And it was quite a funny little sketch, but it was kind of quite obvious little sketch. So I've used them all the way

through my career, but then I've had them and not, and I, and I, and I sort of, in lockdown, I just thought, well, I'll give it a go and see if I can do a sort of parody. Um, it's, you know, it's quite, it's quite, um, it's a show in which it's a, again, like the snooker a bit. It's just like a madman in his attic and me having been on TV and thinking this is my way back into TV to do this crazy thinking, you know, Channel 5 are going to spot me and doing what I'm trying to do like a serious, you know, satirical new show and then the puppets come in and spoil it. And I start making loads and loads more puppets. But what's interesting, I suppose, the history of it is this puppet was made in 1892 by that man

in that picture when he was a young man. And we found, there's newspapers in the legs of stuffing which are from 1892. So we can kind of fairly confidently predict it. He was made in January 1892. So he's 132 years old. And my great-granddad, my great-granddad used them to, he was a Methodist. He wasn't a preacher, but he worked at the Method. You know, he was involved in the Methodist church.

So he used these horrific horrific. puppets to try and educate children in the ways of mechanism. They are terrifying. He's called Ali Sloper, which is, again, a very famous Victorian cartoon, which I think influenced WC Fields and things like that. So he's a kind of a drunk, posh character. They were always drunk, weren't they? Or beating up their wives.

Yeah, I think so. But it's quite good to make him drunk because there only talks like that. You know, the only talks, he usually says like he's drunk. And so, so yeah, my great-grandad used them. My granddad, who was headmaster, also used them in Middlesbrough, in the school that he was the headmaster of. But I sort of love the, you know, and they would have used it in different ways. I love the way that that's passed down, that this, you know, he'll be passed down, hopefully to someone else who'll do something else with him. And, you know, the way that a ventrugress dummy, you know, obviously he's a very sweary, unpleasant character in my hands.

He might not have been in the Methodist trip. Yeah, so I don't know if my great random would approve of what I'm doing. At the moment, he keeps on saying, sit on it, Barbara, to my mum, which is my mum, he keeps on trying to seduce my mum through the airways, which is, you know, on all sorts. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on there. So, you know, I'm very interested in that sort of duality of personality.

Is that the next picture? Well, that's the next, yeah, in time. I just love that photo. I always think of that photo. That is me when I'm 18 about to go to Camp America at Bristol Airport. And it's not a great photo,

but it's me and my mum. And I think if you just look at our faces in that photo, it's sort of just beautifully captures. It's not the first time I've been away because I'd been like around Europe on my own and I'd done a few things on my own, but this was me,

the first time I was ever going to get on a plane. For my mum, it's me, you know, going off from a plane, really being away from home. And you can just see, in our faces in that photo, my nervousness and her, you know, her absolute, my mum was very protective of me and didn't like, you know, I did a routine, but once we were on a barge when I was really little and I wanted to jump onto the barge from the side. And she grabbed me and meant I fell down,

my leg fell down the side of the barge as I was easily going to make the jump, but she sort of was worried and stopped me. And that was kind of typified our relationship and that she, you know, I was the youngest and she was a good, very, very good, and is a very good mother. but obviously was very protective. I feel what she must feel. And I feel the other day, it didn't happen, but my daughter, who's nine, was going to go to the post office on her own,

which is a 20, you know, 50 metre walk. And she hasn't been anyone on her own before. And I just started tearing up at the fact that my daughter was going to walk to the shops and back. She hasn't. She then, she lost the bottle and didn't do it. There's only going to be more of that, Richard. You're only going to be at airport, right?

Exactly. So, you know, that, I just think, but when you said photos, I just thought, well, that photo, it just sums up that, that feeling of being a kid and becoming an adult and being a parent and your child going away. And I, you know, and so I just, it's just one of those photos that, when people say, what your favourite photos, that one gets called to mind. And I managed to find it. I couldn't, I didn't know where it was. How would you go to America for? I was there for like about three months it was a really again That's a long time Yeah it's right How old are you? How old was I when I did it Yeah

It was eight just I think I turned 19 when I was there So it was pre-uny or post-union So yeah I had a year off I went around Europe interrailing Went to this camp America And lots of camp America was like Going to rich people camps And do quite a short stint

And they'd get to travel around America This was a camp in It was California It was in the Redwood Forest of California, but it served, but it was for basically all the poor, mainly for the poor kids of San Francisco. And so it was quite a full on, I think somebody got shot the next year by someone with the Baron Arrow or something,

but he was all right, they were all right. But it was quite, it was a big change from, and it was quite hard. And you were doing theatre, theater sort of thing. Well, I, no, it was, I did do a bit of drama there, but it wasn't really, it was sort of all sorts of things. I started off, I started off doing really well. I was sort of the star, there were six sessions. I was sort of the star of the first session.

Mike, I was the best cabin leader. And I ran the jungle gym and I did a lot of work to making the jungle gym, like, fun. And so I won these two awards and got promoted to being like a leader of the whole. And I was really young and I had no experience this stuff. And I couldn't really. And then the properly difficult kids arrived. And I was put in charge of all the littlest kids. And it was a disaster, really.

and so I wasn't very good at it. And so I kind of went from being quite successful to sort of being, you know, I think at one point I had an eye with the kid and the kid wasn't doing what I said and I slapped the kid in the face. Oh no, that's not. And so I nearly...

I think assaults one of the things they're not. Yeah. But, but all the other guys were chucked with... There were some big, there were these big American proper men, huge guys who would throw kids against cabins and stuff. They were like, it was terrible.

So what I'd done was terrible, but also quite a minor infraction. I nearly got set. I nearly got said, no, but I've been putting, I was very young and I've been put in a situation where I couldn't, I didn't have the ability to cope with that. So it was quite a different, it was quite a, you know, it was a long time there. I made some friends there. It was kind of nice, but it was also very difficult. I was quite homesick.

On the last day, the camp, there was a massive fire in the camp. And luckily all the kids had gotten home. And so my mum was right to be scared because we very nearly. all burnt to death in the middle of a redwood forest. Oh my God. Like a hundred miles away from the nearest fire brigade. So we had to try and put this fire out ourselves. And also, you know, for any listener,

this is pre, you know, mobile phones, internet. Yeah. Yeah. Like you wouldn't have spoken to your mum probably for much during that. No. No. Weirdly, my friends from home, they'd never rung up.

They rang up, got the time wrong, and they rang up the camp, thinking it was daytime. It was the middle of the night in the middle of this fire and they rang up and someone else said, don't the fuck off because we were trying to put out this matter. There were like trees going up in smoke and things. Gas canisters exploding and stuff.

And no one got killed amazingly and no one got hurt even. But it was, you know, it absolutely was this really, you know, there was a lot going on in that camp and it was very difficult. So that, again, that picture of mine, it wasn't like a particularly happy time. Then I went around America with some guys for a couple of weeks. but sort of fell out with them, got sort of dumped in Florida with no money. It was, you know, and I managed to just about get my way back home.

Bloody hell. I mean, yeah. And you knew you were coming back to go to Oxford. So you always had that in place. So it was this kind of grand adventure. And then you were going to start this new life. I went to a nice comprehensive school. But again, I was sort of very nervous about going to university.

I found I nearly gave you the picture of the first day at me arriving at college. and I really wanted to do comedy, but I didn't really do much in the first term. And so I only did one. Had you met Stuart by this point? No, so we kind of missed each other all the way through the first term. He did the comedy club. One week I did it, he was going to see Suzanne Vega. So he didn't do it.

And I saw him, we went, my addition to the Oxford Review, I did this song I'd written at school called, they said, can you sing something. And I sang this song I'd written at school called My P penis can sing. And then they went nuts and said, oh, come and do that at the comedy club. I did that the comedy club, but it was the week, Stuart wasn't there. And actually, I remember the people who were established comedy club, who was only been running for three weeks.

I can remember them being sniffy about, you know, this is, but actually me and Stu were, they were all doing Monty Python sketches and me and Stu were doing our own thing, really. And that's, we met at the Christmas party properly, having sort of passed each other a couple of times. And we were looking at cricket photos and taking, and making up life stories of these guys. I was dancing to the sex pistols, so Stu thought I was cool, I'd mistakenly. And we just sort of hit it off there and realized we didn't like anything anyone else was doing. And so we thought, should we have a go at doing some stuff together? And that way we, you know, I think we were, we had a very similar sense of humour, a different way of coming at it.

And it was a really, you know, I was thinking about that. You know, if we hadn't met or if I'd gone up the year before and I had a year off. It was sort of for both of us, I think, a very fortuitous meeting. And I was, you know, I was quite driven to one. Do you remember, so is it like a first day? like who's the one that is it like a proposal where you say shall we be a double act and that is a mutual commitment i don't remember who's i just think it was obvious that we we obviously just went yeah i haven't seen this stuff he haven't seen my stuff but we like the sound of what we'd both been

doing yeah uh and we he was doing he was working with with emma kennedy and a couple of other people at his college and i i brought so we did sketch so we did we sort of formed a sketch group rather But a double act is a very specific thing. The double act really only came back after we left university. But I mean, me and him were writing nearly all of the sketches at university. And, you know, it was, I was sort of weirdly seen as the performer. And he was more of the writer. So I was in the Oxford Review.

And then the next year he directed the Oxford Review. But then he got more into stand-up. And I did in Edinburgh where I got absolutely fucking battered by the stand-ups. and you know, it was just at a point where the Oxford View was the least fashionable it could possibly be. And stand up was in the ascendancy and we got absolutely battered by other standups. And so I was very, you know, I still am to an extent. I still, you know, it's taken me a long time to even address that first Edinburgh or the second. Who's the second Edinburgh actually where all that stuff happened.

And I think it made it very, you know, and I think it changed our relationship because Stu really wanted to be a stand-up. and that felt like a betrayal to me. So I was really going, we have to do sketches, which is probably why we end up, you know, why the double act works so well and why we did a sketch show obviously to begin with, or we did sketch shows to begin with, but it also was why it was never going to last

because Stu was absolutely determined to be a stand-up comedian. And I was absolutely determined not to be a stand-up comedian, though I have turned out to be one of the other. Is this, where's this? That is, well, that's, so that's, that's a snowman that features in the show I'm doing. So the reason I've chose that one is because, yeah, I had testicular cancer during lockdown.

And that, we built that snowman shortly after I had the phone call, basically saying you've got some massive thing in your testicle, which we don't know what it is. And so I was like absolutely convinced I was going to die. You know, I thought my friend had just died of cancer. I thought, you know, I've almost certainly got cancer. And it was a big, you know, six centimeter lump. a lump in my testicle

or overtaken my testicle basically and so I got this call and was very emotional and thought I was going to die and my kids were five and two at the time so they're not going to remember me and so the bit in the show and the reason I found that phone and I can't believe I've got a photo of it but you're sort of trying to make memories

in case you do die so this was this was like literally about three days after I'd had that phone call it's it's snowed And then I thought, brilliant. I remember all the snow days from my childhood. I'm going to take the kids out. We're going to go in the snow.

And then they'll at least have one memory of their dad. Or at least my daughter had memory of my dad. There's a lot of pathos. Yeah. And so, but then we eventually got back home. We started making the snowman. But because it had been snowing because it's been cold, I hadn't cleared the cat shit off the lawn.

We got quite a little lawn. So I started rolling this. I was trying to make these memories. I was rolling this ball of snow around. And it was just picking up all the cats. It was full of catch it. My daughter was so I thought this isn't like the memory I was hoping to create. It's not like it's a wonderful life, is it? No. So all that dirt is catching.

Also, you know, climate change, there's not that much snow really, is there either? So you factor in that. It was all, it was all melting. And then there was some dog diarrhea. I went over that. Oh my God. Oh, Richard. It had been quite efficient to picking up the dog and I thought if I roll it the snow over it, then it'll get, you know, I can put it on the edge. It's a good way of clearing the cats. it off and then my daughter made a separate snowman and his head fell apart and so I kind of in attempting to create this brilliant memory of

this what a memory and created this my daughter was going to remember me as this guy rolling some cat shit around and looking pleased with himself that was your gift to her so so I just I thought it just again that sums up that period so it's kind of again bitter sweet what a metaphor but you know we took a video at the same time as just for her throwing a big snowball at me and you can see see in my eyes, I'm thinking, I'm laughing, but you can see I'm thinking, this is the video they'll be watching when I'm dead. Oh my God, Richard. That's so terrifying. So. And you are well now. It's worth us. Obviously, you're fine. Yeah, I'm fine. And testicular cancer has an amazing survivor rate, which I didn't know at the time. Of course, you're terrified. It was, it was, but I was scared. And it was good to, you know, it was good to go through all this. It really was. It really made me know what, what was important in my life, what I appreciate it. I spoke to Rod,

Rod Gilbert about this after his recent cancer experience and he said that. He said it's completely, he said in a really weird way, he's kind of glad he happened. I mean, it's awful. But he said he just sees life in this completely different way. I think as you get older especially, just it's good to be. I absolutely, when I got the phone call, I absolutely, and I thought about death all my life, I absolutely understood what it would mean to be dead. absolutely for the first time really thought I'm too

I thought like in two months time I'm not going to be here and I won't be here and I had to think about what I was going to how I was going to what I was going to do for the family and all that kind of stuff so it was very good and also as a comedian it's fantastic because it's you know all this material you know all this stuff you get out of it such a classic comedian responsible is it all I could think of was my next show yeah but not at the time I got the call

all around it I was just thinking this will make it I've got cancer, not made a good show. I thought I haven't got a cancer. I said, oh, that's a shame I'm going to do that show. Might better get a routine out of it. When he rang up, I wasn't thinking, yeah, the show's back on. I was very upset. But every other time I thought, well, you know, this is so fits in with everything I've been talking about recently. And what better person, you know, if it has to happen to anyone, what better person for this to happen to?

That I can talk about it and help other people and encourage men and women to check themselves in the involvement areas. and men, I think, need more encouragement to go into doctors and get checked out, which, you know, I took a couple of months before I went in. So, you know, that was, that was, you know, but it was nearly all such a positive experience and just one negative, and unlike all these other comedians who were touring the cancer shows, mine was, you know, almost, you know, a playtime cancer, really, and not to diminish head cancer, but, you know,

a lot of comedians have had, Rod included, and Janie Godley, and Miles Jopps just had a brain tumour. They've all had things that are much, much more threatening and serious. And so I feel very lucky. And, you know, a testicle is the most comical place to get cancer. You needed to survive because you needed to have this moment, didn't you? Yeah, well, that was, again, that was... Which I've got strong feelings around.

I know. Well, I thought it was partly for you, Kerry, that I put this. This is me winning Taskcast, the Champion of Champions. But as well as rubbing it in your face, it was such an important thing because I would have been so... The thing I'd have been upset about is if I couldn't have done that show. And I did the task for task. I did the task for task for must have three weeks after my operation. So I'd had my ball cut off three weeks before.

And they said, you're not meant to do anything for a month. And I said to... I'm in champion of champions. And I would have been... They moved it as far away as they could, but they were going to change over the house and everything. So I had to do it within three weeks. and so they were so lovely but even if I'd just not got to experience

champion of champions and I love it, it would have been so upsetting it would be more upsetting than losing my bollet I thought I thought I could bring the bollock in as my price but I never got it back and so that was funny but also I think just to have got to like six or seven months later

I'd got really fit I was running around a half marathon around the same time and you know I lost loads of weight so it was really looking after myself and I think it didn't you know with a great thing about that champion of champions seriously was I didn't it didn't matter who won because it was only one episode and everyone was fantastic but it was so lovely to go and do that everyone would

I'd done my series in lockdown and um and so it was so lovely to do it with an audience and be close to everyone else and I also just enjoyed it because in the series I was always just like as much as I loved it I was still you know oh I'm nervous what if I fuck up what I did and with the champion champs that just a just had cancer yeah and I just thought I'm going to just do this and see what happens I had such a good time. And, you know, it was just who could, who could, who could, who could my, I was, I was lucky because I got to do the final task last. So I looked at all the mistakes everyone else made.

And managed to trick Greg Davis just about. But so, yeah, it was a, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was a meaningless victory. But, but, hey, you know, I looked good in that photo and B, and B, you know, it was sort of, that year to have something so amazing and lovely happen. And if I'd come last, I would still have felt the same. Yeah, yeah. Luckily Ed Gamble came last, which made it even back. Richard, let's go to your last photo, which is you with the, I've just lost it, with the Incredible Michael Payne.

Yeah. And so weirdly that was just a little, it's not chronological, because that was the last thing before lockdown that I did. And like, we cancelled the next week's show. And we were, it was still late enough that there was almost. It's like, are we going to do this? Or we're not going to do this? But we did it. It was just at a point before anyone

was really talking about canceling things. And Michael Palin is my absolute comedy hero, right? So I love Monty Python, but out of everyone in Monty Python, he's the one, I think, has just had the career that, you know, I would have loved to have had it, but also love, as a comedy fan, you can look at him. He's just remained an incredibly normal, nice man.

He's the lovely, as lovely person, isn't he? You would just hope and dream he would be as lovely as appears, and he is. But also his career is, you know, fantastic. Every single thing is just perfect. He's a writer. He's written brilliant things. He's written brilliant films. He's been in amazing films.

He's been done his travel stuff. He's done, he was in Monty Python. It's in life for Brian. And to get him as a guest on the podcast, I tried for years was just incredible. It was so close to not being able to have him on. If he'd got COVID during that and died, just he recently had a heart operation. If I'd killed Michael Payleman, that would have been very, very, very, Man, that would have been really bad.

But it was just, he was everything you'd want to be. And also, just again, as a comedian, a lot of people get very successful and then get very sniffy about the things they're successful that made them a success. And Michael Palin, who must have had people coming up to him doing the parrot sketch and doing everything out in his whole life, absolutely loved talking.

Loved that I was a fan of his, loved talking about stuff. You know, I mentioned the bit in Life of Brian when it's crucifixion. And he started doing it. You know, he started doing it. I didn't ask him to do it. He just started doing it. Backstage. Did you get him to do the speech impediment with the Roman? I did. But it was just lovely that he was that, you know, he loved. He loved that, he loved that, I loved it. But he was also not at all like, oh, not this again. It was like, oh, you like that. Oh, that's lovely. Backstage, we'd, you know, ask questions backstage, do a bit backstage. And he sort of improvised a scene. I said, what I, I said, I, I, I, I, I. asked him about Herod and whether he thought Herod had really killed all those children. And then he improvised a scene.

So he said, oh, we didn't do that in Life of Brian. Then he improvised a scene as if he was Herod in Life of Brian. So it was, you know, it was just an absolute dream country. You know, about every, there's a few people I'd love to get, like Billy Connolly, I think I'd like to get. Paul McCartney I'd like to get. But Michael Palin was like my dream guest. And, you know, and to get him. And for him to be so, like, I've met him once before very briefly, but he was so,

charming and so lovely and so everything you'd want to be. And I think just as a comedian, don't be that guy who goes, if I was going, oh, I loved you in afterlife, Kerry. And you're going, oh, fuck off. I've done all this other stuff. You know, like embrace. Go, thank you know.

Yeah, embrace what people love about your career. And be glad that, you know, that you are loved and that people, that you've touched people's lives, which obviously Palin started on a massive scale throughout his career. But whoever you are, you know, if one person's coming up to you and saying, say moon on a stick. You don't want to be the guy

going to... That was... Fuck off! I mean, I'm lucky. I'm lucky in that nobody ever does, but, you know, hardly ever does. A 10-year-old kid said it to me. I think, the other...

I was on the wreck, and I heard... I said, are you guys going to be playing football still? And they said, yeah. And I turned around, and I'm sure one of them said, moon on a stick at me. And they were 10.

And there's no possible way... There's no possible way they could remember you. So I'd be there. their parents have told them to say, or it's just a kind of weird coincidence. Or I just misheard it. But yeah, but, you know, I think that was. So that was, it was, it was just,

it's lovely that pod, that stupid podcast and all the stupid podcasts I've done led, if that was it, if that, well, you're a good story of meet your heroes. That's a lovely one, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it is, it is good. And it's nice when, you know, when people do turn out to be great. And mostly they do turn out to be, to be great, I think. Most of them are nice.

And, you know, you'll catch people on the wrong day at the wrong time. Like, you know, sometimes people, I was having an argument. I don't argue with my wife that much, but it's not the story about me arguing my wife. I was having a real bad, drunken argument with my wife in Shepherd's Bush in a bar. We were really like, you know, I thought, fuck, this is, I think this before me we were married. I think, oh, fuck, we're about to break up.

And as we were shouting, you know, it was a very great boy. So we were almost shouting each other. A guy came up and said, oh, hello, I love you. I don't think I was very nice to that guy. I don't think, oh, yeah, yeah, thanks. I think, can you see what's going to? Yeah. the room, mate.

Oh, Richard, thank you. Richard, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. No, I love it. I've listened some of these and I think it's a great idea for podcasts and it's really, it's really, you do, you're so, you guys are so brilliant. So thank you for having me on. Oh, thank you.

Is there anything you want to promote? Like, is there anything that you're going on at the moment, apart from your many podcasts? Well, I'm so touring the stand-up show about my testicle, kind of have my ball back from May through to July at least and then hopefully we'll do some more. There's a book of that as well if you, if you... Can I have my ball back?

Yes. That is a brilliant title. And all of those dates and all of that info is on your website. Richardherring.com, yeah. So yeah, check it out. Brilliant. Thanks so much. Thanks again.

Thank you. Thank you. How's it, how's being a detective? I have looked round a lot of like door frames and I've looked over some hedges. That's where it all happens. That's where all the clues are. I have. I've got my nosy bonk in everywhere all over Kent.

Yeah. And it's going fine. It's great. It's full on. It's a lot of hours. A lot of hours. But I love what they do with your hair. They do great things with your hair, don't they?

Hmm. I quite like my hair this season. They've done nice things with my hair. Every time I've seen it, I'm like, look at Kerry's hair. That looks great. Yeah. Yeah. Hours in the chair, babe. It's like being in Lord of the Rings.

Hours and hours in the chair to get my head. I can only imagine. You know, on one side, they had the orcs, which they had like all the, and then on the other side, Kerry's just having a blow dry. Kerry just having a blow out. So similar. But you never guess how long it's saying to get Carol's hair sorted.

Oh, Christ, she's in life here for hours. It's been a nightmare. You don't believe what she looks like when she comes in. Anyway, what else have you been up to? I went to a 90s night. Yes, please. What? What?

A 90s dance. 90s. Rhythm of the 90s. Did you enjoy it? Yes. I've had a lovely time. Loads and loads of very, very, very hammered middle-aged people screaming. I love this song.

This is my favourite. In my ear, actually. If you described that as an eye out and I wouldn't have expected you to go for that as an experience. Okay, why? Well, you just said loads and loads and loads of middle-edge shouting, sweating, shouting, I love me, that doesn't strike me as a sort of thing you... Yes, but if I've had enough to drink, I'll go anywhere, I don't mind. I'll go. Really? I do envy you that, that you can get pissed enough to get in the zone.

Oh, there is no zone without alcohol. I admire you that you don't need alcohol to get in the zone. That is... Are you joking? There's no zone. Alcohol or not? I don't have a zone anymore. I take alcohol and I get a hangover before I'm even pissed. Or I don't drink and I'm just a miserable. fucker. There isn't another setting. Maybe I'll just learn to be happy with. You don't need to drink at all. I don't need to drink. I don't drink. I barely drink now. I had a few drinks a couple of weeks ago. It was all right,

but I did feel rough and that was it. I've barely drank this year. You're yawning. You're yawning. You're yawning. That's how boring I am now that I don't drink. I'm going to have to put ice on my tits, you know. I think the only way. What about those pads for breastfeeding? I've still Chloe's still got some of those. There must be like a put some lip balm on there. Some like, some vacillin. Yeah. Yeah.

Put a bit of Vaseline on it. They're very hot. I don't want them any hotter. If I put oil. Ice. Yeah. Frozen peas. We've got some frozen peas.

I mean, frozen peas on the tits is definitely not how you thought this day was going to end when you started. No. No. But when you've got hot tits as I have, you've got to. Call them down, baby. Please call your next door, hot tits. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney.

And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? Like that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.