Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E19: Nina Conti
Episode Date: July 3, 2024"The monkey that I talk to... is my dad..." This week we have the amazing and brilliant and super super funny Nina Conti on the show. What an absolute treat. Photo 01: Nina with her dad Tom Conti ...Photo 02: Nina being surprised by Susan Saradon and Naomi Watts Photo 03: A ventriloquist convention Photo 04: Monkey taking charge of a film meeting Photo 05: Dropping my keys PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to Memory Lane.
I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman.
Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane
with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about.
To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about,
they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly
on our Instagram page.
So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast.
Come on, we can all be nosy together.
I'm not in a bad mood.
I just don't have much energy.
I'm not in a bad mood
but I don't have much energy
That'll be Glastonbury, won't it?
That's what Glastonbury does
Or that walking?
Yeah, I didn't walk much though, did I?
Because I put my back out on the Friday night
and spent all of Saturday and Sunday.
It was awful.
It was really not fair.
It was so unfair, Kerry.
We all felt terrible that day one,
well, background, your back has been playing up for a while, hasn't it?
Yeah, it has been.
been playing up for a few weeks.
And it sort of hit its peak.
Or maybe not.
Maybe it was just...
Do you know what?
It just comes and goes in waves and I just was unfortunate.
And I felt quite good before I went to Glastonbury.
I thought it's going to be all right.
But the five hour drive and then, you know, the walking about.
The walking about, the sleeping.
I didn't cane it.
I didn't go mental.
I just...
You were sober?
I just done something.
Yeah.
I just did something from my back.
You were twisting in your own.
sobriety. That's a little Tunisia ticker and reference there for the oldies.
Do you know what? Can I just be possibly annoying about it? But I genuinely, I didn't mind being
there even in that state. I was happy to be there. That's a measure of how brilliant I think
Lastonbury is. I know you're looking at me like I'm mad and like I've been on some sort of weird
hypnotic, trance-like workshop. Yeah. But I got back.
and I thought I still wouldn't have rather been somewhere else.
I was still happy to be there.
We had a laugh.
Even like that.
We had a laugh.
I did it a different way.
Like I went up to the healing fields and I had some treatment and osteopathy.
I met a really lovely woman who gave me some osteopathy.
And I loved it up there.
I chatted to people.
Do you know what?
I just did a different kind of Glastonbury.
You did.
You did.
And I watched the streets from my phone in the back of my van on my eye player.
Great.
Live.
Live.
Live.
I mean, I watched them live, actually.
You were there?
I was there, yeah.
I probably saw more.
I'm going to say you did.
To be fair, I was so far back.
I was watching it on a screen, but standing in a field.
So I could have just watched it on the screen.
I was lying in my camper van watching it on my phone.
Who had a better time?
I'm going to say you.
Yeah, I think I might have.
I thought it was absolutely brilliant.
Yeah, the crowd surfing.
I was like, what's he doing?
I loved it.
I might try that.
I might start that into my act.
Well, like Barbara Nice.
Oh yeah, she's doing that.
She's been doing it for some time.
She does it at the end.
I might start doing it like Skinner, like during.
During.
Like doing material while you're being carried around.
I pay to see that.
It does depend on people really loving you because I'm worried that a lot of people might just let me go on the floor.
I, do you know what I think about crowd surfing is I don't want anyone to touch my boobs.
And I feel like, you know, there's a lot of hands.
If you go on your back, I feel belly up.
I don't know how safe I feel.
But then you don't want to be face down either.
No, not with my neck and gravity.
What do you mean your neck?
Well, if I was down there like that,
gravity would.
Oh, right, that's what you're doing.
Jow me up.
Whereas that's why people take selfies from, like, looking up, don't they?
For gravity to pull their faces back.
Okay.
Well, but we didn't take many pictures.
There weren't enough people at the cabaret tent to.
to crowd surf.
If I had thrown myself in front of the audience,
there was quite a big gap at the beginning.
But we didn't take pictures.
For two people that have got a photograph podcast,
we really failed in the photograph.
I thought,
even like me in my van with my backache,
I wish I'd taken one of that.
It's good to have a memory, in it?
We took,
you very hurriedly took two pictures before you left.
Yeah.
Of you and I.
Yeah.
We got to do it.
Was that, do we?
Okay.
Two pictures.
What I loved about this Glastonbury Festival
more than anything.
And Chloe and I were literally just talking about it today
is we really enjoyed you, Kerry.
Yeah.
In the linen years.
Oh yeah, I've moved into the linen years now.
Yeah.
That's a new sartorial chapter.
Yeah.
Of a lady's life.
Yes.
Where you go into...
Linen.
Linen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No more like, no more uncomfortable denim.
No cotton.
No cotton.
It's linen.
You don't care if it's creased in front of.
that adds to the vibe
and you just flow around
like you're going to run
a sort of therapy workshop.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to
sort of do some sort of
expressionist dance at some point
because you were in linen trousers
and a linen top.
There was a lot of movement going on.
I thought, oh Kerry will be leading a workshop.
I just feel free in linen now.
There used to be a shop,
it might still exist, called Hampstead Bazaar
and there was a picture of Judy Dench
in her linen years.
She might still be in her linen years.
Oh yeah.
But she was in the window
wearing all her
matching linen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw her.
And I'm there now.
Hampstead Bazaar.
That's the shop for me.
Hamster Bazaar.
Right.
Well, I haven't ever been in there because I've just laughed at it from afar, but now I'm ready.
Now you've embraced it.
Yeah.
I might.
I haven't been in, but I've gone down the linen road.
I'm firmly in Linen Street.
Okay.
Linnon Street.
Front cover.
Hampstead Bazaar.
Anyway, it's on trend.
It's on trend.
Co-Words are on trend.
Pajamas.
Coards are on trend.
Actually, I told you
I bought a linen suit from COS.
There you go. So you're in the linen years as well.
I'm in the linen years as well, so I don't know what I'm talking about.
I was firmly in linen on the day before we went to Glastonbury.
Why didn't you bring linen to Glastonbury?
Because it's a new thing. It's new. I don't take new things to Glastonbury.
I take old crap.
I don't want to get, I don't want to...
No, you've got to wheel out your new outfit.
No, no, no.
Oh, especially when you go on stage.
Some people really glam up for this thing.
Well, you saw what I was wearing on stage.
Short's a t-shirt.
Yeah, you'd let yourself go.
It's like you just got out rehab.
Flipping neck.
I mean, well, on Sunday.
For someone who's just done a stylist.
By the way, I got a lot of good feedback from the stylist.
About your Glastonbury look.
Not specifically.
She hasn't seen those pictures yet.
But a lot of it was remembering to tuck things into things.
Wow.
That doesn't sound like a stylist.
That sounds like a carer.
Actually, now I said it out loud.
That just sounded a lot like a carer.
Now don't forget to tuck it in Jen
tuck it in
That's what child minders
Do
Yeah but they do it for me
Your trousers up
tuck your t-shirt in come on there
It's not something I normally do
I don't do the tucking in
And now I'm all about the tuck
To reveal the waist
I told you that
I told you that the French talk
I know you did tell me that
Yeah
Because I said when I went out the other night
You went what are you done here
Chloe does this
tucking in the front
And leaving the back out
I said it's French tuck
You were like
What is these words
that you speak.
Well, I didn't understand why
you just didn't tuck it all in.
No, you don't want all of it in.
You don't, why?
You just want a bit of shape
for the waist bit, like you say at the front,
and then cover up the...
You don't want it to billow too much
in that kind of muffiny shape.
You want the back out.
I don't know.
Google it.
I really felt you were shutting down
halfway through that explanation.
Like a robot.
You can see it.
I follow, much as I don't want to,
I do follow a few fashion.
influences and they
You, Dan.
I do.
I also, well, that's what all social media is.
Comedians,
like,
campaign, like politics stuff,
campaigners and stuff,
and fashion and gardeners and a couple of spoon carvers.
Oh, yeah, there's a lot of spoon,
there's more than two.
There's loads of spoon carvers.
I follow three.
Why are you following three spoon carvers?
It's calming
It's really calming
Is it?
Watching people
Whittle
It's weird
You have a very
I'm skitsoid
A thing with spooncavers
I assume everybody's like that with
No you are either
Oh it's very relaxing
With spoon carvers
Or you go
I've had a fuck enough
Of these spoon carvers
You can't
And then I go on to
Yeah
But that's
That's social media
Things drift in
Oh
A French Chuck
A spoon carver
oh, some politics, oh, there's a comedian I like doing a routine.
Oh, that's social media, isn't it?
It's a fucking breakdown.
Yeah, yeah.
That we're all experiencing collectively.
Yeah, everything everywhere all at once.
That's exactly what it is.
Well, Kerry, who are we talking to today?
Ah, today we're talking to Nina Conti.
Who we saw at Glastonbury.
We saw her.
I saw Nina for about two and a half seconds.
I thought, oh, I'll speak here later because I was on my way to somewhere.
And then I never saw it.
year let's hang out a bit and then my back went and I didn't really see her. Anyway, so excited.
For this episode, Nina is an absolute, well, she actually, Nina is a legend. Nina is a legend.
She is the wonder that is Nina Conti.
Are we doing, have we started? I feel like maybe we should start. Yeah. What I like us to do
is just start and then we ease into your A game, Nina. And then we don't, I should never have mentioned my A game.
I'm really excited about the game.
Oh, I kick the table.
I'm excited.
Is that it?
That's it.
I'm just hot.
I slightly want to take.
It's really hot.
Do you know what?
I've got a button up shirt.
Does anyone be offended if I under it?
I've done to beyond the base of the bra there, but I'm trying to hold it.
Meena, you've gone.
You're holding it together with a necklace.
Are you three buttons down?
You're three buttons down.
I'm three down, but I want fucking all of them off.
This weather's chaos.
Anyway, come on.
You start in the official way and then you do the A game.
I'm going to watch.
We're soft opening.
We're not doing that because we do that.
We do that late.
We've scrapped that.
Right.
Well, we had started.
We were talking.
I know, but that's,
you made a stop to start.
I didn't make you stop to start.
You made a stop to start.
You've literally just stopped to start.
I knew here.
I hate when I hear other people laughing on podcasts and I've laughed.
I've go for it a few times already.
I hate that as well.
People laughing on podcasts at their own jokes.
At their own jokes.
Terrible.
I mean, but we do it all the time, don't we?
All the time.
I advise never listen back.
Yeah.
Oh, never listen back.
Then you won't be bothered by laughter.
Or your own voice.
How are you about your own voice, Nina?
Well, obviously, a contortionist because of what I do,
I just clearly don't like it.
I clearly felt it wasn't the one to take out into the comedy realm.
I disguised it.
I'm going to build a career on doing a different voice.
I'll swallow it.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll build a pair of substitute lips at the back of my mouth.
And I'll put all my plosives
there and I won't show it on my face and it won't be my voice.
And you have smashed that. To be fair. You have really smashed that. You have made a very
successful career from that. So it's to be applauded. Yes. And lorded.
All peccadillos, all all insecurities are to be mined. Yeah. Yeah. But on this podcast,
we want your voice. Yes, you've got it. This is it. No one else is. No monkey. No
alter ego. No monkey. No monkey. Nothing. All me.
Just you.
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So, Nina, when you, I think, when did I meet you?
I met you back in 2000.
We go way back, yes.
2000, I first met you.
And you arrived with Monkey, fully formed.
Did I?
Yeah, it was really annoying.
It was like, you know, something.
Sometimes you see people, I felt like this about Josh Whittaker, which also really irritated me.
I saw them went, oh yeah, I can see what's happening there.
Also, Jen, it irritated you.
It irritated me.
I thought we were friends.
Yeah, no.
No, she doesn't have a very generous spirit.
No, my spirit is broken.
And she didn't then and she doesn't now.
Right. No, no growth.
Toxic.
No growth.
No, she hasn't involved.
Listen.
Kerry.
Neel.
Back to you.
I was, you know, I've always been a big fan.
I have.
I remember sitting with you at the Avalon party
and Edinburgh was going around us like a maniac
and we were just having a quiet moment of
this is all a bit hellish, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
When we confided in each other that everyone was lying
and saying that they thought Edinburgh was brilliant
and then we were like, do you like?
Are you feeling all right?
And you were like, I don't.
And I was like, you don't, I don't.
And then it was such a nice kind of, yeah.
Did you find when you started in comedy
because you'd come from an acting background and family,
did you think, oh, this is a different vibe?
Or did you think this is the same vibe?
It's all showbiz.
I don't want it.
I brought my acting vibe in it,
and I remember going into it and really Nathway.
I wrote to all the people that had comedy clubs with a CV
and a sort of spotlight photo.
And I'll sort of a gig in a really sort of professional way.
I've done a sausage advert.
I've done some plays.
I'd love to have seen the,
the promoters opening up going,
I'm a fucking phantom here as well.
What's this about?
So weird.
And is that what you did?
Straight away.
I started just begging for gigs and filled up my calendar.
Yeah.
And I was always the driver.
We talked about this.
You and I were always drivers.
That's why we didn't gig together much.
No, because we both had cars and vaginas.
To car each and a vagina each.
We're never going to be on this thing.
New.
New.
Let's go back to this first photo,
which I absolutely.
I absolutely love this picture, which is you.
I don't know how old you are in this picture, Nina, but you're with your dad.
Super cute.
Squishing his nose down.
Your father is Tom Conti, and his nose is as squishy as mine.
Oh, so mine.
Holy moly, we both got really...
Look at that.
Oh, wow.
Absolutely no cartilage in our noses, Nina.
I wouldn't be comfortable with that amount of squashing.
No, but this is actually unnatural.
How old were you in this picture?
I think...
I'm not looking at it anymore to see, but I must be made.
Maybe what I know is that that went on the cover of the TV Times.
What?
And it was bad.
I didn't know it was, but I didn't know it was happening.
Yeah, it was on the cover of a TV Times in 1976 or something.
No, it must have been 79.
Because I don't know.
My dad was doing a play.
He was maybe doing whose life is it anyway or something.
And I was, I don't know, it was just a cute picture.
So they put it on and then the headmistress said, don't.
don't have Nina on the cover
because it's going to be weird for her.
Oh, really? And was it?
I didn't notice any of it.
But I remember this story is family folklore
that it was like considered really bad
and it was taken.
Interesting.
Yeah.
That the head teacher took it upon herself to tell your dad off.
Yeah, tell them off.
But maybe that was right because, you know,
I have sort of spent a lot of my life
trying to hide from that name a bit
because of the fear of nepotism
and whatever.
else. Really? So yeah, but here I am talking about it. I selected it so maybe I'm over that.
Well, I would hope so. It's been like 40 years. What did you think of your dad's career when you were a
kid? Were you excited by it? I was excited by it, I think. Yeah, when I was a bit older,
I was very excited about it because I got to meet for some famous people. But when I was
really little, I didn't really know, no, no, it always seemed long. I'd go to plays and it felt
very long and I would go to sleep under the table at dinner parties because they were long.
Right. And also you've got nothing to compare it to when you're a kid. It's that's your life.
You're not like, oh, this is extraordinary. But also, this is your life. And also you don't know.
You haven't got anything so competitive. Like you're not looking at these people going, oh, I loved you in that play or that film would have.
I mean, you're just some old woman that's turned up and is talking at my parents and I want to go to
bed. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, but when you were growing up and as you,
got older, particularly as a teenager, and you understood who your father was in terms of the
context as an actor in this country. Was that? Did you feel like that, because you obviously
wanted to be a performance. Did you feel like, oh my God, that's a bit of pressure for me if I want
to get into acting? Yeah, definitely. And I got an agent, but that didn't do me any good. But I mean,
having my dad got me an agent early on. This is before I did the comedy. So I went about 10 years
not getting parts. So it didn't work for me. That.
well to get me any parts.
But it got you the agent, and the agent got you the auditions.
The agent got me the auditions.
You did get some part.
Didn't you do an RSC season?
I did.
Yeah, that was at the end of that 10 year patch.
Yeah.
So I did get an RSC, but I didn't get a lot of lines.
I was mainly set dressing.
Right, okay.
But yeah, it was something.
So how long after that did you do the Ken Campbell thing and discover that world?
Well, I discovered it a bit.
So Ken Campbell was, I'll just tell you quickly what he was.
He was a real sort of.
unusual character from he was in the same year in Rada's like John Cleese and stuff but he
went the other way and did loads of underground weird stuff yeah so got involved with him and his
weird like 24 hour plays it was more like a cult than a theatre company yeah but you had very
intense like friendship relationship with him didn't you for quite a long time yes yes yes and it's
the 90s so I was dating a 60 year old man you know in my 20s I mean and learning yeah learning
ventriloquism at the same time.
Why not? It's just weird because I go through my life, I went through my 20s thinking,
I've got nothing to talk about, what the most boring life, nothing, you know, I'm like,
and I look back and I go, that's insane. How did you not know that all of that was insane?
But look at the world it gave you, like it's given you a whole, it did access something that you're
still, still mining. And the funny thing is that what I've realized now is that the monkey that I talk to
is my dad.
Like that's his voice.
That's his way or I mean in some way
I've imbibed like a male persona on stage
that cuts through the shit and says things.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's like all that also protects me.
Yeah.
And so if I'm going to do a male voice,
like my dad's sort of in me.
I'm very much him in many ways.
That monkey, and I don't realize that.
Oh, God, it's going really deep.
You must have said a fortune in therapy
going into ventriloquism
because you can just get it.
it all out. I get it all out, but no, I have to do the therapy as well. I have to do the therapy as well.
Yeah, but that's the dream, isn't it, when you start? I mean, as you go forward it, your relationship
with the audience and with yourself as a performer change. But at the beginning, what an absolute
bloody boon to have that monkey that protects you. Amazing. So you can say all the, the things,
the unsayable things and go, not me. It's this guy. I know, amazing. The monkey was very useful to me in
early days that stand up when we're talking about going to the club and you had to be in a
room full of guys and all of that because I as a girly girl which I definitely dressed as and
behaved like that was one dimensional so it very much helped that it kind of just made people
go oh she's all right she's like I don't know it was a weapon for the for those times but to go away
from to put monkey down to start you I didn't really put him down he's still there
but to use the audience, yeah, that's been hugely liberating and really lovely that's different
every time. And I try and make it different every time. I put that mask on somebody's face and I
see somebody incredibly lovable immediately. I mean, they're lovable because they're disempowered,
hugely disempowered. And they're giving themselves to you, aren't they? They're surrendering completely
to you. Yeah. Which is so generous as of her. I know. I know when I have to look after them and I have to
honor it and I have to make them say outrageous
things if it feels right but not so much
that they want out. No. It's got
to ride on their boundary
and so it's yeah
it's really it's really again
getting away from me and if
I'm trying to think of what would be funny
for them to say next I kill it
I have to get away from me completely
and look at them and just think what are they
trying to say
who are these people doing it in this picture
yeah that was really
unexpected because
I got a woman up on stage
and then she beckoned her
friends on and then her friends came up
and they turned out to be Susan Sarandon
and Naomi Watts.
I mean I was
I died. Where was this? I was so
scared. It was in New York
and I thought I can't put
masks on these perfect faces
on these famous faces.
I don't know if they wanted me to or not but they
had to because their friend had to come up and they didn't want
seem like bad sports.
I mean, it's mental.
Can you imagine
putting the Velcro
behind the ears of Susan
Sarandon sticking on thinking,
I hope this is all right.
And what am I going to make you say
and will I be prosecuted?
Oh, how exciting.
Will this be libelous? It was so scary.
The audience must have gone bananas once they saw them.
They couldn't believe it. And Susan Saragin
was actually wearing a COVID mask at the time
when she took it off when she came on stage.
That was just, I thought, oh my God, it's Naomi Watts and her friend with a mask on.
And then the mask came off and I was like, no.
Not you too.
Oh, Nina, what did you get them to say?
Well, they actually, you know what?
They just seem like, just acted just like the kind of people that we hang out with.
They just were up for a laugh.
And they started goofing around and you think, oh, well, they're, of course they're actors.
Yeah, they know how this works.
They're not worried.
Yeah, they weren't worried.
They were game.
And so that was amazing.
That must have been so weird for you.
enough that they came to your show.
I know, even that was amazing.
That's kind of wild.
This is when our job gets a bit nuts, isn't it?
I mean, like sort of A-listers come to see your show and they're not going to see mine.
In New York, they would.
In New York is a bit different.
They keep coming in New York.
Well, if I don't know, let's assume they're not.
Are you doing a show in New York?
No.
What are you talking about?
That's why they're not coming.
That's why they're not coming.
Kerry, puts it on and they will come.
Okay.
Yeah?
Naomi Watts looks like she's having the time of her life
when I took that mask off her lipstick
had gone down under her chin
I don't know what I don't
When did you start doing these shows in the States
And have you always done it internationally?
I've tried to do New York a few times
It's only just started to gain traction
The last couple years
What's it? What are the audience?
Because I'm well, hopefully if I get a visa
I'm hopefully going to be going over in the autumn
But what are the audiences like?
Lovely. Lovely.
They like showbiz over there.
You know what I mean? They're up for it.
They really clap at the end. They said to stand.
I mean, you can't let that go to your head because they just do that, you know?
Yeah.
They do the...
I think when you're hardened by British audiences,
yeah.
American audiences must just be the loveliest warmest.
They're so warm and when you come and say hello, they clap for ages so that you start to get embarrassed
and you think, I haven't got anything for this.
Yeah, yeah.
I've run out and smile.
You just want to say, guys, lower your expectations.
But you know, when you're like,
US comedians come to the UK and they like go,
Hey guys, I'm so and so from New York.
You might have seen me on this show or at that show.
And they're like, no, crack on.
Or they say that to the MC, before I go on, can you see this?
And the emce goes, I'm not going to do that.
And then they bring them on and you can feel like they walk on and going, oh, is this, is this it?
It's like, yeah, this is, this is what we offer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is a whole different vibe.
And Australia, I gather, is similarly warm and.
Yeah, quite warm, I suppose.
but somewhere in the middle maybe.
Ozzie's are warmer than the UK, definitely.
Yeah, so the UK circuit must harden you to...
But I like it that way in a way.
I like it here where you go on and you think,
I haven't said anything yet, so that would be weird and I would feel icky.
Don't you want to hear my CV before I come on?
I kind of like that.
Nina, I want to go to this photograph and this looks like it was, I think, pre the
the one that we did with Naomi and Susan,
but you're here and you're on stage with three other ventriloquist acts.
Oh, yes.
And tell us what's going on in this picture.
That is a ventriloquist convention in Kentucky.
And it's just a wild event that does exist.
And so I thought it would be quite fun to talk about it.
And people go to this, maybe there's like 500 ventriloquists go to this place in Kentucky.
Did she do a doc about this?
I did.
I was just about to ask that.
I remember that document.
I did do a dog.
Because it is such a weird world, isn't it?
It's amazing.
It's another planet because half the people aren't people.
They're hippos and whatever else.
Grandmas and ostriches and, well, grandmas are real people.
But, yeah, very odd.
They have their puppets on all the time.
You know, the puppets are just hanging out the whole time.
What do you mean?
Like, they just walk around with their puppet.
Yeah, a lot of people do.
So if you talk to them, their puppet will talk.
back to you? Oh yeah, no problem. Absolutely straight away just like it normal and your puppets can
have chats with each other. And did you get into it? Did you start doing that? Yeah, I did do that. Yeah,
because if you're going to be there, why not do it the full, you know, the full extent? So, and we don't
have an equivalent of this in the UK. This is very much an American sort of thing. I think the biggest
ones in America. I think there's a couple others. So when you started as a ventriloquist and created
this like career and this world or whatever and then you discovered the extent of that.
that community and what was out there.
My family.
Yeah.
Like you're like, oh my God.
Is that how it felt?
Like, because I often feel like hanging around with comedians, I feel a certain like, oh,
this is my tribe.
Yes.
And I feel very comfortable.
Did you, is that how it felt when you hung out with a bunch of puppets?
A tiny bit because there's like a showroom where they sell stuff.
And they sell, for example, a little platform that goes on top of a microphone stand.
If you unscrew the mic part, you can get a little platform.
And then you can sit your.
donkey on it. And I was like, oh, you guys have worked out that this is the thing that we need.
And there was another thing that you could strap around your waist and sit your puppet on your hip like a baby carrier or almost.
And I was like, this specific kit is, you know, that's what makes me realize I'm with my family.
Arm rods for the puppet's wrist so that they can gesture.
It's like crafts or like a proper event merch event.
Event merch.
Venish merch.
Exactly.
Did you get out?
Did you go mad?
I thought everything.
I thought so many puppets.
I bought so many puppets that I don't use in my app
because I just default to monkey all the time.
So it's small.
Did you always think, oh, I might expand it and then you just always go back to monkeys?
Yeah, I always go back to monkey.
I did do one show called Dolly Mistras, which had so many puppets in it.
And it's so annoying to tour, so many handbags and all of that.
So, yeah, I've slimmed it down.
Also, they can have any face, but, you know, I want them to say the thing that monkey
would say.
A fully formed person.
You want monkey because he's so naughty.
Does your dad, when he saw you doing your Ventriloquist act for the first time with monkey,
did he go, is that supposed to be me?
Did he get it?
No, he thought that foul creature.
Why do you have that foul creature who's so awful to you?
He did.
He didn't get the joke.
He didn't kind of really get on board.
No, he quite likes monkey now.
but I think he did find him a little bit foul.
But no, he's impressed by the craft.
He loves the craft of it.
I know.
I suppose he just doesn't want to see something calling me a slut on all of that,
which I used to do a lot of.
Still do.
I can't stop making my, calling myself a slut through the monkey.
I can't stop.
Do you want to unpack that here?
Nina, should we go through this now?
I can't stop.
I don't know why I find it funny.
It is funny.
It is funny.
Maybe it's somewhat true or used to be or whatever it is.
There's something levelling about that.
But that's slut shaming, you know, that's not in vogue, but I can't help it.
But whether it's in or out of vogue, it's hilarious coming from the mouth of a puppet control by you.
I know, and nothing makes me laugh more than you slag.
It's funny.
It's just funny.
Now I've seen your recent film, feature film, and then you take it to a whole new level with that, because you are in a body suit as monkey.
So you talk us through how that began.
That's been in my heart for, I think, decades.
But it's the thing of, if the monkey is the real me, then I don't need to be there anymore.
And if I could just be monkey, then there would be no impediment.
There would be no giggling artifice in high heels going, oopsie.
It would just be the real guy, the real guy that I am.
I mean, I truly am.
Nina's a construct.
Nina's getting on in society, but the real one is the monkey.
So I got the woman who made Chewbacca to build me this full-sized monkey perfectly.
And then I started doing an act with Chanoa Allen from the Pajama Man.
And I sort of fell in love with him
And I was like seducing him
But in this weird guys as a monkey and everything
And it just seemed like this is such a love story
A love story between a man and a woman
Who doesn't want to come out of a monkey suit
And who expresses herself better
Through a monkey, but it's gone on too long
So she can't come out
Or it will be a disappointment
It's like beauty and the beast
When that crap prince turns out
After you've loved the beast
And so you can't come out.
And anyway, that's the thing of the love story.
It's set in America.
It's a very American-looking film.
So it's not like, but yeah, that's the premise.
It's brilliant.
Where can you watch?
Where can we see it?
I shared a secret link with Carrie,
but it's going to the festivals this year and it will be released next year.
Oh, that's so exciting.
How did you get the funding for that?
Oh, my God.
Well, that takes us to one of these pictures.
Yeah, which one?
A Skype call, it was a FaceTime call or whatever, Zoom Skype, how old am I?
Zoom call with the producers.
This is your pitch?
Did you pitch as the monkey?
I got so upset in the finance calls because your heart's in this and you have to, then
you get told you need more money for this or for that.
And raising the money was hellish and everything.
Yeah, I bet.
And sometimes they would say, no, but we need this or I don't know.
You can't have this because of this.
There's so much in filming that was like high stakes.
And I got too upset by these meetings.
I just wanted to focus on the fun part.
So I sent Monkey into the Zoom call.
I was like, Nina finds all this a bit dry,
so you're going to have to run this by me.
And they had to.
They had to have the conversation.
So good.
They are enjoying that.
I just never showed up.
I just had him do it.
This is the best pitch they've ever been to in their lives.
Are you kidding?
When was that clinches?
it helped, yeah, it did help.
It helped it. It didn't make me cry as well
because he's there just taking all the heat
and whatever.
Oh wow, that's so brilliant.
It was so funny just standing out of the way of the camera
going, I'm not fucking doing this.
I hate these meetings.
Yeah.
Monkey can do it.
Also, it's an entirely creative endeavour, isn't it?
To make a film, especially something so unique
like you just described the sort of premise of it.
And then to suddenly put this other hat on
and be like, yeah, it's okay, let's not got budgets
and how we're kind of...
Oh, I know.
And you're like, that's the antithesis of how...
What I'm doing.
Yeah, it really is.
You know, it's like...
Get monkeys.
Who wants to be a producer?
I mean, it just is like the shittest part
of making a film.
It's like having to dance around
and get the money.
It's like a nightmare.
And then I'm right in remembering
what you said to me is that in the end,
the money started to go in crazy directions
and you were like, I'm going to direct it.
And that changed.
Yes, that changed it.
It was, yes, it looked like the script was going to be,
was going to cost a lot of money
and we would have to get a different director
who had a big name in order to finance it.
And then I thought, no, no, no, no, I want to do it.
So we'll cut this budget right down.
And I called the cameraman and I said,
what's your slimmest crew that you can stay agile with
and would just have that?
And then so we made the budget go right down.
You didn't need so many people on a film set.
I think, I don't know, doing what.
But so it was a really, really good crew
that was built by the cameraman.
And that seemed to me to be the way to go.
It makes so much sense, because it echoes that what we were saying at the beginning about when we first start in comedy.
You go, I don't need the trappings of all these other things.
I can just turn up and do the thing.
Yeah, I wanted to look great, so I want the camera to be happy and I want a, you know, good sound.
You've got a great script.
You know the story you want to tell.
You know, you've got your chabaca monkey suit.
You've got your co-star.
You fell in love in real life, so you're just sort of recreating.
because it honestly is so romantic this film.
I was so, I found it so moving.
Oh, that's a lovely.
And then because I didn't know your story when I watched it,
so I was like, oh, it's so romantic.
And then afterwards, you told me how you two fell in love.
And I was like, oh, God.
It's all real.
I know.
It came true as we were doing it.
It was impossible not to, but it was, yeah.
Has it given you a desire to make more films?
Yes, but I have to care.
care about them as much as I cared about that one.
Yeah, because that story is a very unique, specific story.
Yeah, I would again, but I have to, I have to really love it before it set off.
What if it, like, it took off and then other people approach you and go, will you direct this film?
Yes, please, yes.
Yes, you do it and just I'll turn up for being a film director.
Yeah, I'll be so up for that.
Really?
So it could be a whole new career.
Yeah, I'd love to do that.
Yeah, I would love to do that.
I'd love to direct other people's things.
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Let's look at this next picture.
Is this you bungee jumping?
This is the last picture, yeah.
I mean, yeah, it's not...
I mean, I did do that.
It's a great picture.
Where are you?
I'm in France, I'm 18 or something.
And I did that.
And as I flew off the platform,
upside down, the keys to my apartment fell and my pocket
into the water below.
And so I spent the whole time flying about,
going, I'm going to call the landlord.
So it wasn't very free or liberating.
No.
I did that with a kind of playlist of my head of to-dos now that I hadn't got keys anymore.
As you've hurled yourself off.
Oh my God.
I mean, the people that do these things say, I've never felt freer.
I've never felt more of a sense of flying.
Yes.
And you just was worrying about.
I was worried about my keys.
I felt like my eyeballs were going to fall out my head when I did it.
No, really?
Yeah, it was really unpleasant really.
Oh, I hate it.
On the way down or what were on the same?
Like when I sprang up, I thought, oh, I think I might have left my eyeballs on the ground.
You know, it was like, I really like, and I thought, I don't need to do that again.
And I haven't.
Did you like it at all?
I really don't think I liked it.
I think I pretended to when I got off, because it was like, that's like a metaphor for life.
You're having you didn't die.
Doing stupid things, pretending you liked it.
It is an incredible sense because it is that you are literally just falling.
And just at the point where you think you're going to die, you're like, oh, I didn't die.
Why would you want to do that?
I don't know.
Well, to bring yourself to the edge to feel something, Gary, to feel some.
Well, go away with traffic then.
It's free.
Yeah, but you don't feel the wind in your hair as much.
You don't see the ground hurtling towards you.
Oh, I just think.
And then you feel weightless when you're on the way back.
You do.
As your spine is coming out of your eyeball.
What if you just deeply regret it the minute you jump?
Yeah, I did, and my legs went, like, to try and get back on the platform.
Also, people have died.
doing it. I mean, I wouldn't be able to...
Oh, there was that bloke on Noel Edmunds.
Oh, yeah. I mean, it happened on
telly. Well, you only need one anecdote,
don't you, to say, I think I'll skip it. Yes,
that's true. I mean, I did see that
and I still did it. We all watched it.
Yeah, and you did it. Yeah.
I think we have to be young.
It was just kind of stoner's outfit as well with, like,
heavy punk and all these guys
that strap you up.
They don't seem safe.
Yeah. How high are you?
Yeah. Is that clip clipped?
You fully clipped all the clips?
I think I said that at the time.
I was like, am I clear?
Is this fully clear?
Are you, if you double check?
I said, you don't seem to be double checking.
It's all right, mate.
Boom!
I assume we did it in Australia.
Yeah, I did.
Where did you do at France?
In France, yeah.
Right, okay.
I just can't imagine doing it.
I trust, I don't, I think I might, I trust the face.
No, we went to like a zip wire part when the kids were small in France.
And my daughter did a big, massive zip wire across a huge lake.
And the health and safety wasn't quite right.
She wasn't listening.
She was about seven or eight.
and off she went
and then this other person came over
and went,
your daughter's going to really hurt herself
when she hits the other end
because I know that she wasn't holding
the thing properly
so I just spent the whole
so I quickly jumped on the next one
and went after her
and then I was like
I was it!
Helzit! How's it?
Going over this night
watching her hurled towards the end
and she did hurt herself.
Fortunately she didn't do any permanent damage
but she wasn't doing it properly.
Why didn't let a 7-year-old go on without checking?
The health and safety in France
and they couldn't call to someone
at the other end and say catch up.
Well, it was too late, she was going too quick.
It was partly to do with just briefing.
So sometimes I think the health and safety in this country is excessive.
You only realise that when you go abroad and it's all a bit like laissez-faire really.
Like literally.
Literally.
Yeah.
Flipping heck.
Before we finish the other thing that we should say that we are going to be in in the future is spinal tap.
You're both in spinal.
Yes, of course.
Yes, we are.
I'm so excited.
And you guys were both out in New Orleans together, which must have been,
It was lovely. It was gorgeous.
We rode the trolley, we went out for meals.
Yes. I'm sorry.
I'm jealous. I'm jealous.
Hanging out with Rob Reiner, a Hollywood legend.
I know. He fed my granola bar to a crocodile or an alligator, whatever they have there.
I feel like that is too surreal.
It was surreal. The whole thing felt like a dream.
Christopher guest. Elton John, Paul McCartney.
It was like a dream, wasn't it?
There was like days where I thought, is this real?
I know. I won't believe it.
It happened until the film comes out.
We might have been cut.
Yeah, we could easily have been cut.
But you enjoyed it, didn't you?
I did enjoy it, yeah.
Yeah, really, that was amazing to be with those guys.
They're very, very funny.
Very funny.
Very intimidating.
There is something kind of like, oh shit, you better bring your A game.
You're hanging out with those.
You're hanging out with the Cremdala improv, aren't you?
Yeah, and I'm not from an improv-y world.
It's sort of acting and stand-up for me.
I don't know who we were talking to you, but you were like,
oh, I never get asked to do improv, and I don't.
do improv and I was like you're going to be in spinal tap which is
it's weird isn't it? Because I think of improv as that who's line is it anyway sort of
it's no different from what you're doing now. Well this whole podcast's improv isn't it
it's not really different yeah but I haven't got to pretend that like you know a brick is a phone
oh that kind of crappy and I thank God but to sports high five yes yes I haven't got to do it
just say yes no it's true. Always say yes yes you're always saying yes isn't it that's the key to
improv that's what I know or call yourself a slag which is a
formula. I love it. You love it. You love it, you slag. It's been a bloody pleasure to have you
schleg on the podcast. Thank you for doing this. Thank you for having me. Before you go,
Announce it. Nina, can you make an announcement? Pre-announce your announcement of your
announcement that you'll be announcing in three stages about your tour, please. I'm touring in the
UK in January and February and then I'll be in America after that. But that's not what I'm
announced yet. But it's, I've chosen my favourite theatres in the UK to play and it's the thing with
the masks, it's with the monkey and it's just very nice to be a shy person and the audience be shy
and then I put a mask on and creates a monster that doesn't give a damn about tomorrow.
It is the most wonderful thing to be a part of. When I saw you at Latitude a couple of summers
ago, I just, I just lost my shit. I couldn't, I couldn't manage myself. He was not. He was
Just the sheer joy of it.
And then my kids who'd never seen you do it before,
they were so happy and excited.
It really is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
So go and see Nina on tour.
And also you can catch Nina,
who'll be previewing her tour at the Edinburgh Festival.
Yes, as well.
So tickets are on sale for that now.
Brilliant.
Thank you, Nina.
Great.
I was so embarrassed when I said to use your dad working,
is he still acting,
when you went, yeah, yeah.
he's just played, he's just been in Oppenheimer, he played Einstein.
I mean, yeah, yeah, I had forgotten.
I'm Max Rushden.
I'm David O'Darney.
And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?
It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally,
What Did You Do Yesterday?
That's it.
That is it.
Max, I'm still not sure.
Where do we put the stress?
Is it, what did you do yesterday?
What did you do yesterday?
You know what I mean?
What did you do yesterday?
Yeah.
Yesterday.
I'm really down playing it.
Like, what did you do yesterday?
Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question.
But do you think I should go bigger?
What did you do yesterday?
What did you do yesterday?
Every single word this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word.
What did you do yesterday?
Like that's too much, isn't it?
That is over the top.
What did you do yesterday?
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