Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E21: Grace Campbell

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

"My mum's done so much for improving state school education and had a huge impact over politics, like my dad, but because he's a man she's just been content to not be championed in that way..." This week we have the brilliant and super talented @disgracecampbell on the show to talk about growing up in politics, her amazing friends and her daughter (/puppy) Eddie... Amongst other things. PHOTO 1: Me and my mum PHOTO 2: Me on election day PHOTO 3: Me and my friends PHOTO 4: Me and Eddie (my dog) PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You experimented with voiceover. Yeah. Kerry. Yeah. On the 12th of September, 24, what will we be doing? We're doing a live podcast. Our first live podcast. For the London podcast festival at King's Place.

And we couldn't be more excited. I only started a podcast to do live once. Okay. Well, that's the end of this advert. Well, that was short. It's an advert, right? Hello, and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair, and I'm Kerry Godleman.

Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about. They're on the episode image, and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on. We can all be nosy together.

It's coming home. It didn't know. No, it didn't. But I feel like we could have got another bar out. What, another what? A bar out of the song. Oh, I see. Go on then. All right, hang on a time.

I think you have to pay for things when you sing things. I think you can do, I think... You'll have to pay David Breddil some money. Yeah, but I think I was in within the seconds. I hate that song. I really hate it. Because I spent all day yesterday, ironically, I just want to point out, saying, it's coming home, it's coming home, it very much didn't come home.

It never does. It never does. I mean, it has come home. Let's not forget the women brought it home. Everyone's going to, it's never coming home. It did. The women brought it home. Also, can I just say?

Because I was with a group of friends and a couple of kids were inconsolable. Mine were. Were they? One of them was in the little one. He couldn't cope. He went to bed, he was so upset. How did you deal with that? He said to me, how can I support England when they play like this?

And I went, I said they play quite well. I thought they played quite well. I mean, given that they're England. Yes, and it wasn't that. It wasn't a pummeling. And when it was the final. No, I mean, at the end bit was like, yeah, let's wrap this up. We're losing.

Yeah, and then that's how it ended. Yeah, as we knew it would. But there was that funny little, oh, that bit at the end would. Eat-oh, eat-oh, eat-oh, eat-oh. Nearly went in. Everybody said, hey, ha! See, that's not like, I mean, it wasn't a complete pummeling, was it? It wasn't a complete pummel.

One of the blokes I was with said, let's face it, we're lucky it's not 10-0. And I was like, that's a spirit, mate. But, I mean, it wasn't. There were a lot of shots at goal where I was like, I don't know how that didn't go in. Yeah, because Pickford's great. I mean, that poor lad. At one point, I think he was just like, what the fuck are you doing? Does anybody want to hang back?

Because these guys are quite good. Look, it was quite, I mean, what happened was they got upset. I thought it was funny. Did you laugh in their face? I didn't know that they were genuinely upset. I thought we were all everything to laugh. Then you were like, oh, they're kids. They're kids, they don't do it or only.

So I went, oh, don't worry about it. You know, more fish in the sea. I can't remember what I said, but something like that. Was you kind after you realised not to be mean? Well, then I said, oh, look, I am sorry, you don't mean it. And I said, I do mean it. Also, you're Spanish. So it's fair that you might have been rooting for the other side anyway.

And I said to him, look, you can support Spain. Yes. Yes. You've got Spanish. He could get on board with that. You've got Spanish family. And then he said, I'm not half Spanish like you. And I said, okay, all right. I said, but you've still got Spanish family.

And I said, and that still counts. Because if it had been Spain against the Netherlands, he'd have been rooting for Spain. Oh, he was rooting for Spain. He was rooting for Spain against France. He was like, because this is our family, isn't it, my mind? Right. Absolutely. But ditched the family when England was.

Why nationalism doesn't really work. It doesn't work. It doesn't make sense. Because we're all little, you know, hybrids. Like, ultimately, it's okay. I can live with... I slept fine. I slept really well, actually.

I actually really did, too. But I did enjoy the event of it. I always get behind the sort of event. The occasion. Yeah, it's a laugh in it. It is. They're coming together. I like that it was in a country where it was at a time where we're like,

oh, we're not watching it at 2 o'clock in the morning or 7 o'clock in the morning. Well, it's because it's heroes. It's not the World Cup. I can't get into a game that's like, oh, you've got to go up. at five to watch it. I'm not watching it. The final at 7 o'clock in the morning. I won't be watching. I won't be watching. England are going to win. I don't care. I'm not watching it. Well, they're not going to win. They're not going to win. They're not even going to get

to the final of the world. Are you mad? Also, do you find that when you're talking to people like Ian that really know about football, you very quickly look like an idiot? Like when they start talking offside rule, the minute anyone starts referring to that. People aren't talking about the offside rule. They talked about it loads. They talked about it in that final because when that goal went in, that Spain was. I thought that was off Offside. There you go. You're talking about the outside rule. I thought it was offside. In fact. Everyone was like, offside, off side, off side. Then that little graphic comes down. Yeah. Not offside. Not off side. So there we go. By a hair, it wasn't off side. Even my son was like that's offside rule. Everyone knows about the offside rule. I don't. Well, he's nine. I don't know about the offside rule. People just say to you. No, no, no, no, no. Never try and explain the offside rule to me because you won't be the first. If, no. No, I don't care. It doesn't make any sense.

Receive the ball in front of the defender. We're talking about a bunch of blokes kicking a round thing about. Don't tell me there are a lot. It's not chess. There are rules. It's not a rule so. Yeah, but it's bono. And that is one of them.

I don't want to know. Okay. It's too complicated. It's not actually that complicated if you'd let me explain it to you. Well, it's more interesting to just not know. I get halfway through those kind of argument. You know, like, I know, I don't know if this has been said before, it may well be not usable, but do you think for bloke's football is just

something to attach language to so that they've got something to talk about? Because I genuinely find it quite funny when sometimes blocs just go, well, we've got nothing, but who's your team? And then that's it, they've got that. Yeah, it's a means of connection. Yeah, yeah. And you can immediately connect with someone and talk about the football. Like, complete strangers can have a passionate conversation about the football.

When that runs out, they've got nothing. Nothing. I always want them to say at the end, hold me. I always want all that, all that shared passion and emotion. And then I want Gary to say to Steve, hold me. I would love Rio Ferdinand to say that. They do hold each other. I love the emotion.

I love the holding. I love the touching, the kissing, the jumping, the humping. I love all that. I thought, because they did a, they do montage. They love a montage of the BBC. Oh, I love a montage. Well, they did a montage of Gareth Southgate, congratulating, commiserating. Kissing, kissing next.

Very close. Yeah. I saw him kissing next. He's really intimate. He's really in their faces. He doesn't mind. There was one with his face touching Harry Kane. Their noses were touching.

And they're all sweaty. And I thought, is Harry okay with this? Well, maybe we should. It's a very intimate space, isn't it? Like if I came up to you and I started talking to you very intensive about something. I kissed my neck, I'd be like, Jen, you should have asked. Well, certainly, but if our noses were touching when I was talking, how would you feel about that? Too much.

Too much. That's what I thought. Boundaries. Boundaries. But football is an excuse to have a cuddle, isn't it? Yeah, but they really, like, he would grab hold the back of the neck and bring their faces towards his. And then he'd go, whatever he's saying, you're brilliant, great football. Lumblis.

Kicked it, legs. Knees and toes. And they look like, oh, thanks, Gareth, but also your nose is touching one? Yeah, it's too close. It's too much, isn't it? Yeah. Who are we talking to today, Kerry? Oh yeah, who are we talking to?

We're talking to Grace Campbell today. This was a great conversation with Grace. This was brilliant. We talked to Grace about all things comedy, oversharing, friendships. An unusual childhood. And an unusual childhood, a little frisson with politics and her brand new tour. How long have you been doing stand-up? For like eight years.

And the thing is, it's just like I don't like the way it works. So you like you commit to a talk, like I committed to this show so long ago. Yeah. And then I didn't even know what the show was going to be about. It's actually a mad story. We can talk, it's a crazy story, which I'm happy to talk about in the podcast. Is it attached to one of your pictures? Yeah, because the dog.

Are you going to do the picture of my dog? Yeah. Yeah, all the pictures you sent us. So it's attached to one of those pictures. So let's talk about your first picture. Who's this? That's me and my mum, Fiona. That's cute.

I know. I look like Susan Boyle. little little baby or like Annie I look to be like Annie yeah there's an Annie vibe you look cross like most toddlers it's the face it's that sort of grumpy kind of I look like an old

alcoholic geezer like falling out of the pub at one in the morning that's what I look like I always looked drunk as a child and your mum looks very happy and loving and you look pissed off yeah I look really I love looking at pictures of me as a child because I always looked.

Apparently I came out of my mom's vagina like happy and just smiling. Which is rare for newborns. My dad said it was literally like I came out and it was very different to my brother's. I just came out like so glad to be here. Wow. Just so happy.

But then I think I always like put on a performance in pictures. Right. I was quite a happy child. Really? As an adult, not so much. But I was a happy child. Why do you think you just had a...

I think I was born with quite a good disposition. Right. Yeah, because there's so much mental illness in my family and I am mentally ill now, but that's because of the world. But I was born with this slightly different constitution. Apparently, I was just always really happy to be anywhere. I was happy to be everywhere, basically, and very sociable and just had so many friends and just was like, yeah.

Do you think you're a people pleaser? I'm definitely a people pleaser. I'm a people pleaser with men. With men, but not with your audience. audience? Not really, no. With my audience, I kind of, I'm like, it's weird. I have a, I have this terrible, terrible Achilles heel for the male approval.

And it's something that I'm trying to eradicate and have been trying to eradicate for years. But so I'm definitely a people pleaser in relationships with men, not just romantic relationships. Definitely just any relationship with man. And then with women, I'm much better at setting boundaries. It's really interesting. Well, why do you think that is then? As a lesbian, talk to me about, I think it's because my dad.

Yes. Well, all roads lead to dads, don't they? Yeah, they do. I mean, as a child, like you look like you were, were you close with your mum growing up? Because I sort of hear about your mum, because I'm one of many people that listen to your father's podcast. But I hear a lot about your mum through your dad. And she sounds fucking A. She sounds like a really strong, intelligent,

you know, like a woman that's got a great deal of agency and has probably, I would have thought, would have been a great role model to her daughter. Yeah, so she, I'm the third child and she had two sons and she was so scared that I was going to be a boy. And then when I was a girl, she was just desperate for a daughter. And so then when I was born, she was very happy. We're very close.

We're very different. But as I've gotten older, I've tried to become more like her. she is calm and very patient with people she gives people benefit of the doubt probably a bit too selfless and I feel in their relationship has not she's just been overshadowed for like the last however many years and she's incredibly accomplished like my mum's done so much for like improving state school education and she's worked so much especially in our local community at like improving the state schools obviously we all went to state schools but she's very very passionate about like the school system and and has said she had a huge impact over politics and like everything that my dad was also

involved in because he's a man and because he's like a imposing domineering man she's you know just been like kind of content to not really be championed in that way and it's definitely something that's given me such complex because I want to be both him and her and so I want to be like the one in the relationship that gets all of the credit but then also wish I could be like it's fine I don't know they're always worked she always kept her career yeah so she was sheree Blair's special advisor right so when my dad started working for ternie blair she also started working they were both working in Downing Street right from the age when I was like three years old wow um and then before that she was a journalist they met um both because they were journalists on free fleet street that's how

they met so she was a journalist and mom is incredibly accomplished yeah and like it mean it's not unusual is it for women to be completely overshadowed or, you know, usurped by the men in their lives or even by men in general. But she kept working. I mean, a lot of women not working. No, but that, no, she kept working and she's incredibly successful and she's a, you know,

a woman, you know, has a huge amount of success in her own right, but it's quite an interesting dynamic, isn't it? As a young person growing up, to be able to see that so clearly to have somebody like your mum and your dad and to see how differently their careers and their

profile and everything is affected effectively by gender. But it's the same with me. I mean, I went on Women's Hour last week to talk about my abortion and then they posted the clip online and they said, Alistair Campbell's daughter talks about abortion. And I DM'd them saying I'm so baffled at why it was necessary. On Women's Hour. When I'm talking about my abortion, which is a universal thing that happens to people all over the world, why have you made it about who my dad is?

that alienates other people and makes it seem like, you know, it just completely took all the value away from what I was doing. And then they redacted it and they were like, I'm so sorry. And I understand it. Like, especially at the start of my career

because I'm an EPO baby, out and proud. But when I'm talking about things that have like fuck all to do with my, like that was a really obvious example. But it's clickbait, isn't it? That's the world. They just want the clickbait. They just want.

But it's so, it's, I don't think they see how bad it makes them look in that moment. It's like, it doesn't make me look bad because I've not really done anything. I'm just talking about something that happened to me, but it kind of takes away from the fact that they're trying to champion a story anyway. The abortion thing and the way that the media has been dealing with that is just absolutely mind-boggling. But to your point, it's still, my value still comes back to who my dad is,

which is fine because I understand I've benefited from it, but it sometimes does just undermine me as a woman. And I do think that's just the way that the world still works. Is it sort of like, who's the most powerful man that you're associated to and then like attaching you to them. Well, they always quite open about that as well at home, like your mum and dad. They'd always say this is the world.

This isn't necessarily the truth at home, but this is how the world goes. Yeah, I don't know. It's so interesting. I just think politics, that whole environment, like, it's a lot of it is driven by male egos. And I think I don't really remember talking about it that much. I was really young.

That's the thing. My dad left down his shoot and I was like nine. So it was all before the age of 10. I don't really remember a lot of that much. I mean, it's quite interesting that, you know, your family who are heavily in the world of politics. And I think a lot of people often create parallels between comedy and politicians.

And I think in, so you didn't want to go into that area that your parents, either in journalism or politics, but you did then sort of make a beeline for another career, which, again, is completely dominated. I know. Again. I know. It's mad.

What did they think of it when you went into it? I think they thought, oh, of course she's doing that. Of course. That sounds really natural. Go do it. Right. No, it made complete sense, to be honest. And you did, was you quite a performer as a kid?

Yeah, I went to drama school. I always thought I went to me an actor and then I had this one audition where I heard this mum talking about how ugly I was in the waiting room. What? And my mom wasn't there because my mom was at fucking work. and I was like I don't have enough my skin wasn't thick enough for it then and obviously I've grown into myself

I'm very beautiful now but then I had braces I didn't really you know I was just like a kind of ugly teenager very popular though nobody bullied me at school I'll tell you that for free but so then I decided and then we didn't really grow up

in like a comedy family I didn't really like watch any comedy when I was younger apart from I watched like all Steve Martin like cheap by the dozen I was obsessed with Steve Martin as a child but my parents don't want comedy. All they do is talk about politics. Then I, someone told me I should do stand-up. So I was like, what is that? And then I went to watch stand-up and I was like, oh yeah, I could do that.

And then I started doing it and I was like, this is really fun. I love this picture of you on Election Day, 97. That is such a gorgeous picture. I tell you what. I love that picture of it's time as well. Yes. The jelly shoes. The jelly shoes. But all. Also, that year, 1997, it was such a... It was a huge year.

I mean, Labor came in, Princess Diana died. I graduated. You graduated. Another big thing for the nation. But it was such a huge... I mean, Labor had just got in, which is fantastic. And everyone's not the same vibe. The vibe wasn't the same.

There was a euphoria in 1997, where people were like in the street. setting off fireworks. People are losing their minds. Everyone's like, let's go all night drinking. I was thinking that because you know the French elections on Sunday and all of those videos of people like in the streets reacting.

And it's weird that we didn't have that last week. I thought it was weird last week. Yeah, it's weird. It was like the zombie apocalypse. I went to bed at 10. I watched the exit one and I went to bed. I did stay up to about 12 or whatever. But the next day I was walking through Victoria Station

and I just wanted to shout. It was like you wouldn't know that we just had a massive change of government. Yeah. And I felt this need to just go, ah, what, something. It's all those people in France. Like, I love those videos.

They were all just like, in the, like, all the left wing people, they were just like so happy. They went on a march. I know. Paris. Yeah, it was such a somber affair last week. It was weird. It is weird.

It's a weird, weird period. That picture that you've given here, it's, it's beautiful. It's, look, the colors are popping. It's like it's very stylized. And what a shot? I know, because what happened? was like a photographer I was really bored we were

waiting for Tony Blair to arrive and we were all sat outside down the street and my grandma Audrey she was looking after me and I just got up and like walked off because I was bored and not waiting and then this guy said can I take a picture of her and Audrey

said yes and so this photographer took a picture of me and somehow they got it I don't know and what is your memory of it? How clearly nothing I mean you were a baby there's no way you could have remembered that. I've got no memory there's a video of me on the BBC news footage which is the only video of me as a child because my parents were, A, never there

and B, didn't do video cameras. There's no, there's no, like, if there was a documentary about me, there would be nothing. There's none of me either. There's three second clip. There's no video It's awful. It's an outrage. So do you have any resentment about? There's one video from that day and it's really quick,

like, Blinkin, you miss me? And it's the only video of me as a child. That must be so weird to see that video. And it's my mum's holding me. And it's just like a video of like Tony Brown and Cherie, like walking past. And again, I just look absolutely. over it and bored, which is what I really think how well. But you're so little. Do you feel any resentment about that time

or the absence of your parents? Because they're so busy, very successful but very occupied. I don't feel resentment about that as much, although I think it will change if I do decide to have kids, how I will be. Not resentment, I think it's a

really crazy situation to put children into and then also expect them to just be able to deal with some of the consequences that then happen because of like what happened with that government. Yeah. I was like a child with like protesters outside our house. Wow.

Like I just like mad like we used to get egged. And you felt did you feel unsafe or vulnerable? I think I did feel unsafe, yeah. That's why I'm doing a lot of sort of therapy on my relationship with safety now. But I think I did. I think I felt like slightly at risk because of, you know, people hating my dad. Fair enough. But because I was innocent in that situation.

and then being in close proximity to him, I definitely had a feeling of like, what, something could happen at any moment, which I still, like, have now, like a fight or flight, constant, someone could kidnap me right now. Like, that's the vibe of my brain all the time. Oh, grace, that's a really big burden.

But it's... A huge mental load for a child. Well, yeah, I think it's made me, like, also who I am, and I think it's made me very resilient and, like, really empathetic to other people. I have such good relationships with other people because of it. It's basically, and I think a lot about like, you know, Kirstama's kids now and like the kids of any politicians, like I don't care who they are.

I don't care who their parent is. But they're really keeping the kids out of the media. Yeah. And I think that's really good to be honest. Yeah. Because they're just protecting them. Yeah. It's, they haven't chosen to do that. And it's not like being the child of a celebrity.

It's like you're the child of someone who lots of people hate, like people have different opinions about. Strong opinions. And the point is it's like, you know, I always say like, Until Jacob Rees-Mogg's kids grow up to be mini versions of Jacob Rees-Mogg, they're innocent right now. So it's like when people, I see videos of people like attacking these like 10-year-old boys on the street. It's like that is just so low brow. So I think that's something that like everybody, I think people should just, you know, grow up a bit in that sense. I feel like being a teenager is hard enough.

but to be a teenager and to have to feel that exposed and to feel that vulnerability and you may not even have had the words to be able to, I don't know, articulate that. Yeah, but it's really random. I mean, I just don't have anything to compare it to. And also, I was born and like the week after my dad started working for Tony Blair when I was like a week old,

because the leader of the Labour Party died, I think. John Swir. Yeah, he died. My middle name's Iona because he was like buried there or something. And my middle, my other middle name is Rose because of the Labour Party. Like, it's so lame. It's just so unbelievable. You really should have gone into politics.

It's so lame. No, it's just embarrassing. I mean, that kind of vulnerability that you experienced growing up and I think is something that, you know, as a stand-up comedian, probably felt like a natural fit almost. because in order to be good at stand-up comedy, you do have to know how to be vulnerable on stage. Yeah.

Yeah, and also I just always had like a massive capacity to overshare. That's why it wasn't a shock that I started doing stand-up because I'm just so open about everything. Like when I had my abortion, I went into my corner shop to buy a vape that day and I told the corner shop man, like, I'm going to have an abortion now. And he was like, okay.

I hope it goes well Like he was like What do you want? That is just my mind I just constantly tell everyone Like I've just gone through a breakup Like someone's just broken up with me like last week Like I just I just

It's always been my vibe I've What drives that? I think it's I don't know Maybe attention I'm not sure But I also think I don't I find it hard to like be around people

This is like so if I'm not in a good way I can't go anywhere unless like I'm allowed to talk about it because I can't go somewhere and pretend I'm okay if I'm not I'm absolutely fine being upset somewhere like I cried publicly the whole weekend of Glastonbury like the whole time I was just everyone I saw I'd just cry with them because I was just not in a good way

but I don't like being like when I'm in a bad way I can't be somewhere where I'm not allowed to say that I'm feeling stuff I think I wear my heart like too much on my sleeve but do you think that's also and then that benefits my stand-up because it means that I talk about everything sort of yeah particularly as you're an anecdotal and an autobiographical comedian but do you think there was also sort of a little bit of self-preservation

so that if I tell you then you can't go and like find it and reveal it and share it because I'm going to be, I'm going to tell you about my abortion so it's never going to be a story it's never going to be something that you own because I own it. I think so and I think that's what's cool about stand up is being able to control

this is what I said about that thing of like other people coming in and like having any influence over what you're trying to say then you can't control your narrative and I like, I really like being able to control what I'm saying. Yeah. And saying it before anyone else says it, which is why my first stand-up show was all like, yeah, I know that loads of people like hate my dad. That's what my whole show was about.

Because I was like, I need to just get this off my chest and say, like, I'm not going to like start a career in show business and pretend my dad isn't Alistair Campbell because I also think that that's fucking wank when people do that. So I was just going to do it and confront it. So I did this show about like why I hate politics and why I'll never be a politician. and then I'm just putting that to bed now and then I'm never going to talk about it again but that was just what my first show is about

so that no one could, people could chat shit about what they thought about my stand-up but none of them could say that I was like pretending to be something that I wasn't because I was literally saying I am that. So you can't really say that I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't really say that I am because I've already said it.

It's exactly that of like, I'm just owning all of these things before anyone else says it. I had to become really resilient, very fast and like a lot of the first reviews that I got were just all about my dad, which is fair. Like, I don't really care. like people have opinions about my dad, you know, I just, I don't care that much anymore.

But so much of it was loaded with him. And it kind of made me just be like, well, then I just don't need to care in general. And now I just don't care. Did he say anything to you about that? Did he ever say you've got, you're stuck with this. So we better have a chat about it. Not really. No. I mean, no.

What does he think of what you do? He's like, he's just, I mean, he'll, if he was here right now, he'd be like, well, she's nothing without me. you know, like, as we'd say, like, without me, she'd be nothing. And I say that without me, he wouldn't have been able to redeem his public profile because I've humanised him. So you have a lot of banter. Yes, yes. But I don't think we've ever spoken that seriously about it.

Like, there was one time when someone attacked me when I was on stage about the Iraq war and, like, came up and tried to hit me. And it was at a gong show. That's sad. It was such morose. It was like a gong show. It was so awful. Because gong shows are the worst anyway.

I've never done one again. For anyone listening, it's like, I don't even know how to explain it. It's like you get five minutes. And in the first, you get two minutes grace free. And then there are people in the audience with these like big signs. And after two minutes, if they all put their signs up, you get like gonged off the stage. And this woman came up onto the stage, like, after my two minutes. Then I got gonged off.

Thank God. And then I remember after that he felt quite bad. He was just like, that's shit. But also, you know, you've chosen to do this. so crack on. It's not typical to get attacked. It's not typical. No.

And to be assaulted on stage is, can I say, not typical at all? And I hope that person got kicked out. Actually, it happened again last year, but I handled it much better. And now I'm in a place where I'm like, like I say, if at this point you're doing that, I'm not even talking about it. So at this point you're doing it, it's much more a bad look on you than it is on me. Yeah, but also, at no. point is it acceptable?

At no point in any career, in any job or in anything that you choose to do to be physically assaulted. And also, for something that's got nothing to do with you. But I think in a way, like this is what I mean about, is really spread up the process for me

because I can fucking handle anything on stage now. Like, anything that happens, I just, it's so fine because nothing will ever compare to that. So nothing really throws me that much now, which is good, you know? Tell us about this next picture. What is it?

Oh, that's me dressed up as a nun with my best friend, Anna. Wait a second. What'd you be? Just up as a nun. That's the shit nun. You're on the outside of your wimple. You're wearing an alice band. I know.

I didn't want to hide my hair. Well, you haven't committed to the nun vibe. You would be kicked out of the commentary. How unacceptable. I would have been kicked out of the conference. because that night I had sex in like a school playground. You failed on a lot of none. You did. You didn't. None counts.

And I went to a convent school and you... No, I would have gone very badly at a conference school. So where are you? I think we were at a house party. That's my best friend, Anna. She's my best friend and we met on the first day of secondary school. It's Anna Posh Spice. What's happening? Anna was like, I think she was a spice girl actually. Yeah, I think she was dressed up as a spice guy.

Tell us about meeting me. So I met Anna on the first day of year seven at Parliament Hill School. And so we got introduced an analogue. looked so old, like the first, like she looks old. Like, there was she rocking this leopard skin look for it? There's a picture of me and Anna on a school trip. And Anna looks like my nanny. Like, she looks like an adult.

And I was so small. I'm much taller than her now, but I was tiny and scrawny. And she looked like my, like my nanny. So Anna used to get served, like wherever we went. And we were 11 years old. Like, she just looked really, really grown up. And then everyone just thought I was being nonstoned basically. Because I was just always hanging out of this, like,

a good girl. So wait a second, when you say you were getting served at 11. You weren't going to a pub at 11. No, we were going to get Glenn's vodka. From the office. From the office. Fucking hell, Grace. Smoking Mayfess, extra large, the really long cigarettes.

Yeah. And it is the complete antidote to me. It's crazy. Like, she is the most, like, level-headed, rationally thinking, calm, sane. Very black and white. Sometimes that is her fault. She's very, like, get over it. you know like if something happens to me she's like get over it

and it's like what I can't get over it because I've got like 30 years of like trauma and you know all of this stuff is coming up but she's perfect to have in my life because she just completely balances me out but she would describe being best friends with me as a fucking nightmare as a nightmare because never a boring moment but a nightmare well that's probably why she's best friends with you so it's you know you've got a bit of yang but you've got a lot of you totally but I'm a lot to it's always a lot going on. There's always a lot of drama.

I've got this joke in my new show, but I asked her what it was like being friends with me for this time, and she said it's like being friends with an ex-old bully because you're cute, but very unpredictable and banned from most places. She's committed. She's in for the long haul.

Oh, absolutely. You sound like good value, Grace. I am. I am good value. I am. And that's like I actually what my new show is about is it starts reviewing, like, I don't know where anyone. wants friends with me and it ends of me like I get white people of friends with me. I fully get why people of friends. It's like never a dull moment and also

just like crazy stories. And I bet you're fiercely loyal as well. Very loyal and all of my best friends like would die for me. But it sounds like you would die for them. Yeah. For them. And all my best friends from school,

they're still all my best friends now. That's so great. And then many more. I've got so many best friends. I'm such a slut. It's crazy. Christ. I mean I can't.

Sounds exhausting. We were talking. I'll tell you about that. We were like trying to shut. We're shutting friends down. Yeah, I've been culling this last year. You wait. In like 20, 30 years you'd be like, I'm sorry, we're going to have to kill somebody.

You just pretend you don't know people. We're like, don't look over there. Don't look over there. One of my bridesmaids is over there. I've dropped her. It's a lot of admin, isn't it? Well, we were saying, I think a lot of it is because of these phones, so there's no way to.

And like you literally can't get away with... You can't say to me, I'm going to see, can I meet up with you in Glastonbury? And you go, I'm not going to be at Glastonbury. Sorry. And then two minutes later, it was like, oh yeah, I think you were a Glacomber. You're in some of the shoulders at the streets concert. And I'm like, whey. This episode is brought to you by Peloton.

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you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, No, no. You can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goldenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Tell us about this picture. Who's this cutie?

That is Eddie, my baby girl, my daughter. She's a dog. Just to be clear, we're looking at picture of a puppy. Thank you. And now, let's just be clear. Yeah, that is a dog. Right. She's called Eddie, named after

Adina Monsoon from Al Fab. Oh. I'm going to get a patsy in the next few years. What is she? Is she high maintenance? She is not. She is, honestly, she is so low maintenance. She's chill.

You were meant to bring her today. I thought we were going to meet her. It was raining so much. And I thought she was bringing so much. I thought she would bring loads of mud in, so I didn't bring her. I love that you just realised that she wasn't here. I was waiting for the opportunity to bring out. I want to get her out of my tiny little bag.

Will you be one of those ladies that carry a dog in a bag? I think if she gets old, yeah. Like, I'll definitely keep her going for her. Dog in a bag. That says showbiz. It does. They're lovely. What's her name?

Dami Moore keeps going to red carpets with this tiny little thing. What is it? It's like a tiny chihuahua. But it's tiny. tiny, like I don't really know how it's bodily organs function. Yeah. And she's always got it, like, under her arm. Yeah, they're weird.

They're really weird. The tiny ones are really weird. Their skulls are too small and their brains get too, they have headaches. They're too small. Yeah, they're not right. But even Yorkies can be as small as a Chihuahua. I saw a yorky the other day in the park. What the fuck is that?

It looked like a rat with really long ginger hair. I'm sold. Dogs are great fun. I've got a dog. Have you got a dog? Yeah, yeah. I've got a Scotty dog. She's a very grumpy.

Or like a Highland Yeah like a little Yeah yeah yeah Oh I love that She's a real personality She's turned up quite a few times On this podcast as a talking point She is

Her personality is electric What's her name? Molly My first dog was called Molly My daughter named her You call Molly in a park A lot of dogs come over I just love Westies

Westies are cute Yeah Westies are cute Yeah But my dog is We call her a shitting ornament because she isn't enormously charismatic. She literally has zero personality.

She has zero personality? Yeah. But I like that. I don't want that much. Right. I don't need that much. No, I know. You want someone,

someone you want a dog to just be chill. Yeah, be really chill. Eddie's pretty chill. Although what I will say about Eddie, and this is kind of why I named, my new show is called Grace Campbell's on Heat. And what happened was Eddie came on Heat really young. So I was going to get her spayed.

I never had a dog on heat in my life. And then she has now got the most insane. desire to hump. Oh really? Since she's been spayed? Since she's been spayed. But since her heat because she experienced the feelings

of like being on heat and like having their sexual desire. Oh were you meant to get it done before? Well we were going to like I've never had a dog on heat like the dogs that we grew up with we never got them we got them spayed before that happened and it's actually mad having a dog on heat

like the male is like seeing you know like primal the base raw physical urge to Hampstead Heath and like dogs would come like miles away because they could smell her and they would just try and fuck her

and then I would pick her up and then they would fuck me. One dog came on me. What? Yeah. Holy moly. It's wild. Yeah, that is wild.

And also it's interesting because then what happened this is what the moment mad. So I had to decide the name of my show as you both know you have to decide the name of your show long before it exists. So far before you've even written it

so I decided it like when Eddie was on heat which was like last April. So I was like just call it Grace Camels on Heat. It'll be about my dog. And then the day I got her spade, I got pregnant, like, by accident, obviously. What a gift for the writing gods. And then, exactly. And then when I was having my abortion, my promote was like, do you know what the show's

going to be about? And I was like, no, I don't fucking know what the show is going to be about. I haven't started writing the show. I've been busy. And then I googled what on heat men, and it literally means, like, when the female person, like, whatever, is, like, ripe to be impregnated. So I was like, oh, I'll just write a show about the abortion, because that's the name of the.

show already, even though who cares about the name of comedy shows, like whatever. So then I started writing this show which is kind of about like getting Eddie and I got Eddie because I needed to grow up and I needed to stop going out all the time and like getting with like absolute losers. And so I got Eddie as like a sort of grounding experience

to like be responsible for something. And then Eddie came on heat and then I came on heat and then the process of my abortion and all of that like all of the stuff I've realized about whether or not I want kids and like sort of it's made me reframe my whole life, my abortion. And then it's made me think a lot about my friends.

So that's kind of where that came from. But it's weird that that's what happened was I got pregnant on the day that Eddie got spayed because I felt like the dog pro-lifers were trying to punish me, basically. You're probably right. Yeah, 100%. Since I've written about my abortion,

I get all these messages. I mean, it's crazy. Talking about having an abortion, I was not prepared for this. And I've spoken about, rape, like quite a bit. I was not prepared for the pro-lifers in this country and then in America. Yeah, of course America.

The shit that they've been saying about me is just, I mean, it's wild. But they keep telling me I'm being haunted by the ghost of my dead baby. That's something I just keep getting told. And I'm like, no, I'm being haunted by the ghost of the man who got me pregnant because he ghosted me. So that's the only person that I'm being ghosted by. Oh, grace. I mean, fuck those people.

No, I know. I mean, I genuinely don't care. they're insane people. They are insane people. You're trying to rationalise them. Somebody with like a mental illness. Yeah. It's insanity.

I know that you also, she's been great in other ways for you. Talk to me, talk to us about. She is, honestly, having a dog has really changed my life. It's really changed my life. She is just the most comforting thing to have all the time. Especially when I was having my abortion. It was horrific and I was so depressed for like six months afterwards. And she just loves me so much, too much.

Yeah. We're in a co-dependent. You know, having a dog, especially living alone with a dog. Yeah. It's just me and her. Although one of my friends has just moved in, so that might change the dynamic a bit. But it is like she is so codependent with me. Yeah. And just watches me all the time.

It's just pure love, isn't it? Just like a stalker. I mean, she just watches every move. She's like, where are you going? What are you doing? You're ahead of the pack? She watches me shower. Yeah.

Well, it's only me and her in the pack. Exactly. So where the pack goes, she goes. You're the pack. So it's just, but it's cool. It's cool. It's definitely improved my quality of life having her because it's meant that I've been way less needy

to find another partner, like long-term partner because I've got Eddie. Like Eddie makes me feel relatively safe as in like she barks if there's a weird sound at night. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I don't need a man. And she makes me way less anxious. Like I'm taking her on tour with me

because she just really calms my nerves. That's brilliant. Thank you so much. Grace. Thank you so much. Lovely stories and pictures. Thank you for sharing. Before you go, please tell us.

You're going to the Edinburgh Festival for two weeks. Give us a date. I'm at the Edinburgh Fringe 2nd till the 13th of August. Then I'm going on tour. Then I'm going on tour all over the UK, Ireland and Europe. And I'm doing the Hammersmith-Pollo on the 28th of November. Grace Campbell was on heat. Wow.

This is so exciting, Grace. So the tour starts in, September. It all starts in October. Oh, sorry, October. October, November, December. And then I will maybe add more dates. Maybe add more dates.

We all see. Brilliant. Grace, thanks so much for coming on. It's been brilliant. Thank you. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dahurdy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast.

What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not. sure where do we put the stress is it what did you do yesterday what did you do yesterday you know what did you do yesterday i'm really down playing it like what did you do yesterday like i'm just i'm just a guy

just asking a question but do you think i should go bigger what did you do yesterday what did you do yesterday every single word this time i'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word what did you yesterday i think that's too much isn't it that that is That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.