Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E22: Elliot Steel

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

"I was hanging out with people that were already successful and they'd earned their stripes, and then got into the drinking and partying and it was a recipe for disaster..." This week we have the brilliant young stand-up @elliotsteel on the show to talk about his journey into comedy, lockdown nightmares, MMA and meeting his heroes.  PHOTO 1: My first gig PHOTO 2: Me and Jake Lambert in Edinburgh PHOTO 3: My love of MMA PHOTO 4: Meeting my heroes PHOTO 5: Lockdown breakdown PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get full-sized favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. The 12th of September. Have you started? On the 12th of September, no, I'm just working my way up. You experimented with voiceover? Yeah. Kerry.

Yeah. On the 12th of September, 24, what will we be doing? We're doing a live podcast. Our first live podcast. For the London podcast festival at King's Place and we couldn't be more excited. I only started a podcast to do live once. Okay. Well, that's the end of this advert.

Well, that was short. It's an advert, right? Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about,

they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page so have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Your forehead is very... Rinkly? Have you had Botox?

Have I had Botox? Can you get the fuck out of here? Of course I haven't had both. You're unburdened with wrinkles, aren't you? You're not a wrinkly. You're not a wrinkly lady. This is me with wrinkles. Well, that's just your face.

And this is me without wrinkles. There we go. Right. Let's begin. Jen and I had a gig together the other night that was really lovely. Yes. What was it? Oh it's the comedy

charity gig at the comedy store Felicity It was wild I mean Elsie had to come Because I was It was a pretty impressive line up And it was like a party backstage Joanne McNally

Michelle de Swart Rosie Jones Sally AB Kerry Godleiman Jen Brister Tom Ballard turned up from Australia Very brilliant

comedian Victoria Angoloni was the only man on stage and was that it? And publicity award hosting? Yeah. But you lot were like having a proper party backstage in the Green Room?

I was going to leave and then... Yeah, I know you were going to leave. But the gossip was strong. The gossip was really strong and I could see it was really fun times but I couldn't fully engage with it because I was so nervous because I hadn't gigged for ages

so I thought I can't afford to be this relaxed. I think Joanne took a... I think Joanne took a photograph of you just before you went on stage. She made a video of me looking very vulnerable. It was quite something. I was really vulnerable.

In a kind of funny way, not in a kind of, don't worry about it. I just, I probably should have been more supportive. I think I was zero support. You were supportive. You did what I expected of you, which was you're like, you'll be alright. Yeah, and you were. You were brilliant. It was fine, but I haven't gig much.

So I was kind of on the pet periphery of you not all having a fucking wild time. Better than fine. Joanne like bringing trays of like wine backstage and I was like, okay, I don't drink and I'm not gigging much at the moment. So I don't think I can be in this gang. I'm really happy to be near this gang. I didn't really drink. I was adjacent. I had half a lager.

Okay. So it wasn't like some big boozy bonanza. Joanne was like, I'm just going to go and get some drinks and off she went. Off she went. Yeah. She did that four times. I mean, everyone was like, oh, you know, out of long term relationships, talking about new relationships. dating, all the kind of stuff that you and I have passed us by a long time ago.

I am vicariously picking up all of the gossip going, oh my God, so you're dating this guy and you've, oh, so now you're with women, right. Okay, baby, blah, blah. Fun times. And then Joanne McNally and I found out that we're both going to be touring in the States in October. And we worked out a date to meet in Boston. So that's what we're going to do.

Oh my God, Boston. Be warned. Boston be warned. Be warned. I'm actually... You are going to have a lot of fun. I said to Joanne, you... We can't go bananas.

And she went... Good luck. She was like, are we meeting or are we not meeting? I went, we are meetings. She was like, wow. I don't think she's got another setting. No, she's on or off. And she's never off.

No. Unless she's asleep. I know. I follow her on social media base. She's hilarious. If you haven't, I mean, I can't imagine as many people that listen to this podcast who don't know who who Joanne McNally is. But should...

You've got to get her on. Oh, fuck me, yes, please. We've got to get her on. We will, we will. We'll struggle because the woman's busy, but we'll get her on. But go check out her stand up. Holy crap, is that woman funny. What else have you been doing?

What else have I been doing? What day is it now? Friday. God, that was Monday. I don't know what happens to time. It just keeps going. It just doesn't stop. Is this new to you?

Because this is, if it is, we really need to sit. It looks like when people talk about the weather. I'm like, it's not new, is it? But there's still a desire to talk about it. That's true. Time goes so fast. Time in the weather. That's all there is.

When you get to a certain age, we're back to our favourite subject. And we tried last week, because I did very much stipulate that we had to leave that whole middle age thing behind, but I'm very much tits deep in it again. It's all we've got, babe. It's all we've got.

I couldn't believe it. I was with a friend, and then they said, so what are your plans for Christmas? I nearly punched her in the face. I said we can't do that. She said, I'm only asking you because you're away for a lot of the time. So I'm just trying to figure stuff out, blah, blah, blah, because I know you're really busy.

I'm just trying to get some dates. Anyone that starts talking about Christmas in summer has to be dropped. But it made me realise. What? We're a sneezal's breath away from Christmas. What are you talking about? I mean, literally we're going to sneeze and it'll be Christmas. I can't believe it.

Well, if you talk like that and think like that and don't be in the now and future think constantly, then you're the problem. Am I the problem? You're the problem. She sowed the seed. Maybe we should go back to her. Get rid of her. Who is she?

Somebody have known most of my life, but let's get rid of her. I agree with you. Because at Christmas, she'll ask you if you've booked you some holiday. Oh my God. And I probably will have because you know how I like to book us some holiday. You know how I do. Well, you've left it very late this year. I did.

I did. Shocking. No, it's so not like me. That holiday I booked in May. I booked it in August. God, really? Yeah, that's how, because you got to. If there's somewhere that you know you want to stay, you're like,

I've got to get in there before every other preck does. Great. Who have we got in the podcast this week? Fucking hell. Got to shut this down. We've got Elliot Steele with us this week. Oh, what an absolutely wonderful human being, Elliot is. Really enjoyed talking to him.

He's at the Edinburgh Festival this year. He is... He told us some wild stories. Yeah. The combat, the fighting combat, what's the words? I don't know, but he's got a passion and it's crazed. Yeah, it's... I don't know what you call it.

I want to say W-E-A, WBB, CBC, CBC. Martial art, fighting. It's a martial art thing, definitely. But Elliot is still a very young man, a veritable von der Kind, because he started so young and stand-up comedy, and we'll be at the Edinburgh Festival this year. And this is us, Kerry Godderman and Jen Brist are talking to The Marvelous, Elliot Steele.

Yeah, let's start with your pictures. Tell us, which one did you want to go with first? I'll go with the one where I'm on stage at 17 years. Let's talk about when you first started stand up because I remember one of... I was like a Nepo baby. I remember one of your... I think I was at your first ever gig. It was at Phoenix, wasn't it?

Yeah, I remember. I remember. The one insane first gig, whenever anyone like throws a Nepo baby accusation at me, it's totally warranted. It is like, I do have to look at it sometimes ago. No, that is. It's not severe coppola, is it? I mean, you're dead on the circuit and you got some gigs. Do I think?

Sign to that agency. It's pretty to be a couple. But I do remember they were sat at the back. Mark was at the back of, I was like going down to do some new material at Old Rope. I said, Mark, you're on, you doing a bit? And he went, no, no, I'm not. I'm here supporting my son

who's doing his first ever stand-up gig. Wow. And Elliot went on. And you were brilliant. You immediately... I don't know. I feel like I was at one of your very early... You were at old Rope a lot,

because I used to play there a fair bit because Tiff used to let me come down and work out. And Mike Wilmot. Mike Walmart I actually owe my career to. Really? Yeah, Mike Walmart. Did you, when, so did you watch your dad during stand-up when you were a kid? Yeah, yeah, I watched him loads.

Because I grew up watching political comedy, the likes of Linda Smith, Jeremy Hardy, my dad, Joe Brand. When I was 15 and I discovered American stand-up comedy, which is I'm quite American-influenced. I didn't know stand-up could be like that. Yeah. And it's quite a dirty word in. stand up now but it was still like when I watched a Louis CK do chewed up I don't

know if you know the opening of that special remind me because I wasn't a huge Louis CK fan so I loved his stuff oh was it yeah yeah I it was the one where he opens with like saying every word you shouldn't be able to say right right and it's very which has echoes of Lenny Bruce anyway doesn't it so yeah and I saw that and was like so you're right that American tradition yeah I didn't know you could do that I always thought stand up was like you were meant to go on and be like boo Tony Blair and then And you're meant to be rye and very, yeah, yeah, yeah. This was someone like being an asshole, but being quite flipping and funny about it.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, the thing with Louis C.K is that, I mean, I also really enjoyed his stand-up pre, you know, wanking in a pop plant. But he, the thing is with American stand-up, there is a different, I don't know, there's sort of like a different energy, there's a different musicality to the way that they deliver their comedy. There's nothing worse than watching a bit of American stuff and then thinking, I'm going to have a crack at that. Yeah, you go on a crack at that. Yeah, you go on. that and doing it from the bridge ground. You can't do it.

Oh no, it doesn't work. It totally doesn't work. I know it sucks. But when you were watching it as a kid and watching your dad and his contemporaries, did you think I want to do that? Oh, God, yeah. Like, 100% I was like,

I always wanted to do stand-up comedy. I just, like, the best thing that having a parent in the industry gives you is the knowledge you can make a career out of it. Right. That's, because... Do you remember telling him that you were going to...

Well, yeah, I remember, but I remember when I was kicked out of school, sat around doing night. I think he was like, look, you've always wanted to do this. My kids go to the school that you went to. Oh, yeah, Norwood. So you left school and went straight on the circuit? No, I went to a six-form, Harris.

All of my life comes from favors to my parents. My mom worked at the South Norwood one. So I went to Harris, Camry, Chris Pazas, which is like a business and enterprise school. I went there. I wasn't good at education because I didn't care. I was never going to go to uni. I knew that about myself.

Yeah. I was, especially when, because when I was like 14 tuition fees came like 9,000 pound a year. So I went, well, I'm not, that just doesn't make any sense, especially because I want to go, like, and do drama or something. That just seems stupid. So you knew that you wanted to perform. Yeah, because I think, I think, like, when people are in school, like, or, and I know it's, when you grow up around the arts industry, you understand the best way to get into it is to go and do it. Like, go find a place around it. And you'd witness that, so you know.

Yeah, you'll just meet someone. who's like, oh yeah, I know someone from, that's, you know, like when you first start gigging. Oh, I run a night. Do you want to come? It's just that. Yeah. And that then, you know, instead of going and spending thousands of pounds doing a stand-up comedy course. Yeah.

Which you don't need to do. You can't go do old rope. Yeah. You can't just go and do old rope. Just for anyone thinking of start. It's such a high profile gig down. On with Catherine Ryan Milford. There you go.

First gig. I was 16 when I first started. I thought you were 50. So you looked so young in that picture. I did a gig with you at Red, not long after or around this time that photo was taken. We were, I don't know if you remember this, we were at Reading, uni. But I remember going to say to these people, I'm so much older than all of them. And you went, I'm like about two years younger than all of them.

And I was like, what? Oh, I used to die at those gigs. Because, yeah, I died. You must have been really determined if you were having those kind of responses. you're like, no, I'm going to stick. You didn't die that. You definitely did not die that evening because I remember texting your dad. Oh, that's fair.

I remember texting your dad and going, I just did a gig with your son and he was really good. That's very kind. And he was like, I really, I really appreciate. Because sometimes Mark doesn't text back for like weeks. Yeah. But he takes back immediately. He's my dad.

He texts back immediately and I. Oh, did he? Oh, that's really great to hear. Oh, yeah, I'm really pleased. Yeah. Yeah, it was a weird time of my life. I didn't realize I was growing up in stand-up. I had a lot of...

I'm so glad I didn't really get any success back then that I was sort of on the path to get, which was, you know, I had like TV shows looking at me. Like, I went for meetings with, like, big TV companies where they were talking about like a six-part fucking series and shit. Right. And you weren't ready? You don't think you were ready. No, I would have...

It would have been god-awful. It would have been god-awful. I'd have been dead because they'd have given me some TV money. When did you feel a shift? where you sort of matured a bit more into it. Well, I was about 23. But, I mean, you... I was about 23.

When I was 23, I did my first good Edinburgh show. Edinburgh is a tough environment. And to be having a bad time up there is lonely. Oh, it's horrible. And I was hanging out with people who were quite successful and stuff and they'd earned their stripes. And I hadn't earned mine, but I thought by hanging out with them that perhaps I had.

And then you get into the drinking, you know, the party inside of it and staying out late. And that's just a rest of it. recipe for disaster. Yeah. And it was a disaster. But I'm glad it happened. Did you get like, so did anyone at Kerb or your dad or anyone?

My dad absolutely ignored all of it in his fashion. He can't even reply to text. He's not getting involved. I say this about my dad. Amazing comedian. Terrible parent. His parenting skills are pretty lacklost. Did you tell him that when you did the roast with him?

I'll tell him that daily. All right. That runs was your life. They just filmed it. I'm like, bring up an issue of mine. I'm like, yeah, you've raised me. That's emotional trauma from your parenting. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

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Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. I just want to go back to because I know we've skipped forward a bit, but I want to go and look at this picture of you and a very young Jake Lambert. Jake Lambert, yeah. Oh, my God. What were you sharing an hour here?

That was so bad. Why was it bad? You were off your head. Well, I love that that's your first reaction to it. No, I mean, we would get like seven. It was a proper Edinburgh fringe, right? We were in a venue called Kilderkin. It says on there.

Kilderkin? Yes, Kilderkin. I don't even know where that is. And you're both new off the curb acts. Yeah, so we're like, we got off the curb behind us. We've played for the free fringe. This is going to be great. We're doing previews with each other.

We're doing half hour each. And as Jake just started as well around this time. Yeah, so we've got half an hour each and we're both. It's decent. Like we're getting our first club 20s. Yeah. So we're walking down to our venue one day and we pass McFerry.

And he's like, you're all right, boys, we did down here. We're like, oh, you're living around here. We're like, no, no, no. Our venue's like on this road. And he went, ooh. And he just went on. And we were like, uh-oh. Because it was on the Royal Mile,

but right down near the end of it where like nothing is. What do you mean like going down towards Hollywood? Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's nothing going on down there. There's nothing down there. So we can buy it. tart and scarf.

Yeah, and there's the Diana Memorial tart and scarf. Yeah. So we would go on every day and we had like eight people. And I always say this to Jake, if we're ever back and then around, like, we need to go get a pint there and go watch whatever's on. Just out of like, just out of respect. Out of respect. Elliot, that's so tough.

Did you and Jake Bond on this? Massively. Like, massively. Like, whenever we see each other, and I love, I love like the success he's having at the minute. And I love how well he's doing. And I love seeing that he's selling out tour dates and I love that. You know, I've been doing tourlets and stuff

and there's this thing of like, man, if we didn't have that, if we didn't have that year, neither of us. I genuinely believe neither us would be the comics we are today. Yeah, no, they do make you those experiences. That was a cool. We don't text each other or anything.

We're not like. Yeah, I know, but you've got that sort of, you've bonded up in that Edinburgh year and you'll always have that, so you've always got that connection. Yeah, and it was. He's doing very well. He's not available to.

support me for my next door now. Finally, I can't have Jake. Pete. Oh, great. Pete's great. Yeah, it'll be great. What's the next picture? Because we've got...

Dude, the next one where I'm in the boxing gloves and stuff, if that's so good. Oh, yeah, we go to boxing gloves. Yeah. So when I was talking about that Edinburgh year that went disaster, that was 2017. This is that year? Yeah, this is like three months after that. So I, like, basically what happened before that fringe is I wasn't really getting any gigs and stuff and I was blaming that on everyone but myself you know when you go I don't

know if you've had that staging comedy where instead of like going oh maybe I'm the issue right right yeah well my fucking agent isn't doing this and my blah blah blah yeah and then you you you everything's personal yeah and uh my show was lacklust so I wasn't really getting anyone in I remember having to get my ticket sales off my agent before I so funny saying this now I know that I can laugh at it but at the time it was like soul crushing I'd say 50 tickets for the whole fridge. There's not even one person a day before I got up there.

So that's like, I mean, I know you're going, oh no, I have like recognition, but I genuinely think, I don't trust anyone who ever goes, oh, I went to Edinburgh and I sold out everything and got nominated on my first seat. And it was great for a lot.

I'm like, you suck. You didn't. Like, you're not going to be, you're not going to be friends. Not going to be friends, but you haven't got the like, there has to be a level one. You haven't got the fucking war. Scars that have been left.

Yeah, they're like, just, and everyone around you doing well. Yeah. You know, and it was one of those years where everyone I lived with was having a great time. Right. And so I really fucked up. So then my agent had a big meeting with me and was like, you need to sort your shit out. Danny, my agent, always be very grateful to him. Just didn't mince his words.

It was like, you need to fucking sort yourself out. You're in a rubble get out of it. But I'd be trained a lot of Muay before that. And I'd been using like, moitai kind of like, you know. Explain what that is. Thai kickboxing. Tie kickboxing. It's like a...

Almost like a substitute for stand-up. So... It's like a different circuit, a bunch of mates. Yeah. Like a scene. Different discipline as well, isn't it? Different discipline.

And that's where... I'm not one of these, everything happens for a reason, but that's where I learned, like, all my stand-up discipline is in like, get up and write, go gig most nights in the week, go try something out. All comes from martial arts. So, and this is post a fight?

Oh yeah, I got the shit kicked out. Did you get knocked out? You didn't get knocked out. What happened was I got the fight the week of it. Elliot, you can't believe it. Have you had your teeth knocked out? No, I've just got crooked teeth, thanks Kerry. No, he's having that full Shane McGowan teeth.

That's what's going on? Oh, that's a gun shield. That's a gun shield. That's like, fucking hell. No, so I. So is this the guy that you fought? Yeah, yeah. Where he looks all right.

He looks all right. I got him in the first round, actually, but then what had happened is I had to, you have to make weight for a fight. So I now have to do it properly now. So you have to do a lot of times. I wouldn't do it for an interclub now. You have to do what's called a weight cut. So say you're fighting at 70, at the time, I think I was fighting at 73 KG. So if I was on the week of it,

I was... I just hear KG and think of me. I just think Kerry Godleman. Oh. I said you've got 73 Kerry Goldman's. Yeah, 73 Kerry Godleman's, yeah. That's how much your weight. But I remember I had to lose five kilograms in the week of to make weight.

So you... But you could have you did a speed diet to make this fight? No, you don't diet. You cut out... Don't do this anyone, by the way, if you're looking to lose it, you will gain it all back. This is... It's insanely unhealthy, but you do it to get an advantage in a fight.

You cut out salt, you cut out fibre on the week of, and then what you do and what I did was too many is like you put Epsom salt, like a whole bag of Epsom salt in a bath, hot water, no cold water, wait till you're able to get in, a towel over your head and you just sweat it out and you can lose like two, three KG in one bath. What? That sounds like you're dehydrating your body. You're just dehydrating your body.

When you did this, did you think I shouldn't be doing this? Yeah, you can't. really entertain that fault oh my god so you're going to a match completely dehydrated yeah yeah yeah weighed in was fine then i started and also like completely like exhausted because you haven't got any yeah i was i was it was a such a mistake doing that because then after understatement it was a mistake because so when when you this is what testosterone does when people what is testosterone don't elliot pack it in what you need at this stage is apparent Here we are again.

Yeah, but he was off fucking talking about a town or something. So I don't know. Someone to step in and go, stop it. I think every guy should have the shit kicked out of him in a ring while people cheer at one point in their life. I think the world would be in. Elliot, I'm seeing that a lot of the things that you think people should have are pretty horrific. I think everybody should do in Edinburgh where they are crushed emotionally. I think you should, you know, yeah, look, there's no, there's no, there's, there's no, there's, there's no,

In my fighting career, let's say that. Who's this, what's this picture here? Take us on to the next picture. Oh, so this is, so this picture means quite a lot to me. So like I was talking about MAA and stuff, I got asked. So all of those guys in that picture are like the best of British fighting. Oh, really? Oh my God, the guy next to you on the right looks like he's been in a few fights.

Oh, yeah, Michael Bisping. Is that him? Yeah, that's the first ever UK UFC champion. Yeah, so that was, what was cool about that is like, so like, while my dad was going through his cancer treatment yeah which was like he was like in the midst of chemotherapy and fucked like for it and it was like at christmas time so I was at gigging loads

and uh you know so I'm out gigging and I'm kind of looking after my dad and stuff and it was like just rough time and I had these gigs and um I got this thing through um whatever like oh hey they need an open art now look the gig didn't go well like because they were Like they're doing like a Michael Bispying and he's doing like I'm friends show and they go out and do like a chat show but they want a comic on beforehand. Okay. And they were like, we've asked a few. And I was in my head.

I was trying to think of like the worst comedian to like get to do it as in like could you imagine like a bunch of MMA fans. And the way I describe MMA fans is it's like it's either like mathematics autism where like you know we we watch MMA because we enjoy. we enjoy the instances of it or it's we're going to take steroids and be autistic those are the two it's just there was there was no women at this show

yeah right right very specific scene yeah and so I was like so I got asked to do it and I so Bish Bing messaged me on Instagram now you got on a sudden like I've grown up watching and fight so I don't know if you've had

those moments in comedy where like comedy takes you somewhere where you're like what the fuck yeah that's one of the things but comedy's every now and again you're like What? How did I get here?

How am I meeting this person? My hero? It was quite a weird dynamic because they were kind of guessing. Because they were like, they're all these fighters. So Tom Aspinall, like the really big lad there. He's like the biggest UK prospects at the moment. So they asked you to come and do a set. Yeah, well they asked a couple comedians.

Every comedian went like, I'm not doing this. Get Elliot. Really? Yeah, which was really cool. It was a... Who? Who? Who?

Who? Who? Which is really sweet of all of them. Yes. Like, yeah, go get Elliot. And, oh, that's really sweet. That's great. Yeah, so then I got like a message of bispying on Instagram.

And you know, I don't know if you're able to someone's like message you and you go, I'd like put my phone down. Yeah. Like, guy for a little like, fucking hell. You know what you're like, I don't say something stupid. So I was like, I'll be really professional. So I was like, yeah, man, happy to open for you. Basically, like, here's my job as an opener.

I'll go on. I'll get him to settle down. And he's like, no, fuck that. I want him crazy. And I was in my head like, no, you don't. I got to the gig and stuff. And he was all there. and there was all these people backstage.

And what was cool was, I kind of left them to it. And I was, I went and stood by side stage. And then he came up and he stood next to me. And he was like, oh, man, I'm so nervous. And I was like, dude, I'll be honest. I wouldn't have all them people. If this is my show and I'm in a green room, I want to be in the green room.

I don't want to be hosting. Because he's like hosting people like his mates of like coming in and stuff. I'm like, you want to be getting in a headspace. Get out. Get out. And he's like, oh, man, I bet all day people have been ringing you about tickets and stuff. He's like, it's been nonstop. and we like just had this nice mate

where it was like chatting to another stand-up we were just chatting as comics like it wasn't as a fire or anything I was going like look man these people were to see you you're gonna be all right and I was like giving him a better door and he was like thanks for that man

and like went on and the gig with the gigs were fine and I did another one in Manchester but they took me out afterwards right and this is the night out and no they were doing like these meet and greets and they like I can't express how just lovely they all that like Tom Aspinall the one who's like

the British champion at the moment who's like me and him on the first night it's not how we didn't clear He just was like, we were getting on, but on the second night we really got on because we started talking about like tax returns and being self-employed. Yeah, because they're self-employed.

Yeah, yeah. So I walk into the green room, him and Paul Craig are having a chat, and it's exactly like walking in and there's two comedians. Because one of them was going, yeah, well, when you fight in certain places, you have to go by their tax law.

And they're like, and like that state commission's rules on fighting and stuff. And he was like, oh, mate, I was in Florida. the taxes there, man. And it was like walking in and it was like seeing Paul Tonkinson or something going, used to pay cash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was exactly like that. Everything, in the end, all conversations lead back to taxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay.

Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms. and conditions. Was you experimented with this last picture? Oh, that is during lockdown. That was during lockdown. So you experimenting with your identity?

Did you want to present in a different way? That was the worst, one of the worst times of our life during lockdown. Everyone lost it in lockdown. She shaved her head. She shaved her head in lockdown. Yeah. Did you like... I shaved all my hair off.

Yeah, because I lost stand up and I lost MMA. Right. I lost everything. Yeah. And then I'd done my hair purple and I look like... You look happy. You look like you're ready for pride. That looks like it's shown on like a thing about a shooting.

And later he went out and shot his entire piece. I've just started a new gun control debate. Where are you? Where did you do your lockdown? I was at, I was with my dad. I was at my dad's. I was, I went through every stage of lockdown. Like I was, me and my girlfriend at the time.

Yeah. Me and my girlfriend at time, like she, of course, was going mental during lockdown. I was going mental during lockdown. And all I would do, like, from morning tonight. Well, everyone else was making content, I would play Call the Duty Wars. Right.

That's what you did to cook. That's what I did. And drank, like, everything. Yeah. It'd be like one in the afternoon. And I'd go, I still don't think the world's fully recovered. No, we were all making. I was making the groanies at 3pm.

thought that was normal. Yeah, and everyone, actually, everything's normal now. Every now and then, I'd love to remind myself like I love stand-up. Do you remember when you couldn't do it? Yeah, no, you're right. And initially, I didn't miss it. I remember early on thinking, I don't miss it, I don't miss it. I was in the middle of a tour when it happened with Jake.

So I was like, three dates in. I remember we did a gig and someone came and shook my hand, and we were like, oh, I don't think we're meant to be touching. And then they all came out, obviously, like they did for all of us. And at first, I didn't care. I was like, okay, and you hunker down, and you just think, well, this won't be for long. Because we all thought it would be for long.

We didn't think it would be for long and all that. And then I did start to miss it. And I couldn't put my finger on specifically what it was. It was the adrenaline or the endorphines or the connection with other comics or the creative process. I don't know what it was. But it was really interesting to me that it came later. Like I just didn't care at first.

I thought, you know what? I don't give a fuck if it has gone for good. And then I was like, oh, I do. I really care, actually. Yeah. Thank you so much, Elliot. They were brilliant. It was a lot of fun.

You're going to be at Edinburgh, is that right? I'm going to be at Edinburgh at 945 every night, apart from one of them. I don't know what one. I think it's like the 17th or something. On the belly, the horribly named Buttercup Room. Yeah, that's all fitting for your brand. Yeah, yeah, some truth bombs in the buttercup. Last year it was the Delhi and I was like, that's like named after you, shoot yourself.

So yeah, I'll be there all during the three. and I'll be putting out a special as well in like November and stuff on my last show. That I'm recording that top secret on the 28th of July. Exciting, man. There's loads going on. Yeah, it's really cool. That's a busy year. Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

It's been fun this year. It's been the hardest I've ever worked. I kind of now want lockdown again. Last little rest. Let's have a global pandemic. We'll have a nice rest. No, I can't. I won't survive that one.

Elliot, thanks so much for coming on. I'm having you. And everyone can go watch Elliot, Edinburgh Fringe, go see a special when it comes out in a event. or you can go and sit live on the 28th of July at Top Secret. That is the end of this public services announcement. We were just talking about our morning swims.

I went to the Lido, you went in the sea. The great thing about you getting in the sea is you don't have to book it. But now that the sun's finally decided to come out, the Lido chocker. You've really got to get in there. You don't have to book it. There's no one in front of you. There's no one behind you.

Holy moly. You've got that lovely two-week window where being in Brighton, you can afford to be smug. It's longer than two weeks, thank you. Come on. Three weeks, top. Hang on. The rest of the year, it's shit.

Shut up. I'm not going to, I know what you're doing and I'm not going to rise to it. By the way, Brighton in the winter is also, I nearly did though. I nearly got you there. I nearly stared you and wheeled you into my little. You are such a child. I, and given the amount of conversations I've had with you about moving to Brighton, seriously, go F yourself.

I know, fair enough. But I got to slag it off otherwise I just might accidentally move there. You have fucking out. So we did that and then we watched the football but we talked about the football so we can't talk about that again. Oh no, I don't want to talk about the football ever again.

My children are still talking about the football. I'm like, shut it down. Shut it down. Really? Why are they still talking about it? Because there's still, no, I don't think they even care about the game but they're just still talking about football. I thought this would go.

I thought the euros would end and then the whole football bubble would burst and they'd forget football existed. But somehow they've remembered that football is a thing. And I'm not prepared. That's why they need a club. If they want to drag it out of international tournaments,

they need a club. Can't you take them to see Brighton play? They've already said they're not interested in Brighton because they're too crap. Can't you? Oh. I said, look, you're supposed to geographically support the team that's closest to you whether they're good or bad. Why don't you take them to Palace?

I'm not going to do that. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. They're going to slip back into the basketball slipstream soon and I'm not encouraging the football. I can't be doing with it. I can't be doing it. with it Kerry and I don't like my children to have hobbies or encourage things that they might enjoy. That is, I always think that when I see parents that have like extremely passionate children,

I think, oh, fucking hell, that looks tedious. Like when they've got to go to tournaments at the weekend and all that. Oh, I, buy them leotards. Chloe's best friend, her son, only wears shorts. So that's one thing. He'll only wear shorts. He doesn't wear trousers. And pretty much will only, outside of his school uniform is only.

only in a football get up. Yeah, he's a football strip and that's it. That's what he wears all year round and he plays football twice a week and he goes to football games and he loves football.

And you know what? You might say, oh God, it's so annoying that my child has got a passion but holy crap, so easy for gifts. What do you want? Some sort of football thing. Yeah, no, I've got some sort of football games. It's cricket and you just get them cricket.

How do children get into cricket? Cricket truly is. I'm watching people not move for a day. And then they really move. They really move. It's like watching a sort of insect. They don't move and then they really fucking move. And they move too quickly.

And it's like that's not natural. No wonder you've got strains. They've always got strains. Yes, because you've gone from not moving for an hour to suddenly moving. Your body's not, you've got to keep limber and warm up. You need to feed that back to the cricket lot. I feel like I should.

It's all very well sitting there drinking pimms and eating cucumber sandwiches, but you need to take care of your... That's the thing. The parents that I know of these sport for now, their weekends are ruined. They're always at some game or other. It's even worse when they're like really good and they've got to travel all over the country.

Well, it's even worse when you've got more than one kid and one of them likes football, the other one likes cricket, the other one loves badminton. It's like, oh, come on. I know. And then you hear other parents like, oh, they're not into anything. They just want to do gaming. It's like, wow, maybe don't have kids.

Yeah. And that, I feel like, is the moral of the story. You can't win. You can't win. But you love them. but you love them and you want them to have an enthusiasm but not too much of an enthusiasm

just to yeah just shrink that enthusiasm shrink it bottle it to a very manageable size into a tincture that you just drop in once a week and then be I don't want you on the dark web but I also don't want to ask you up to Newcastle for a tournament

yeah I feel like there's got to be a happy medium between the dark dark web and between those two extreme Get off the dark web, babe. But let's go and gig a ball about, but not so good that we've got to travel anywhere to do it. I mean, somebody asked me recently,

she went, do you know how to get on the dark web? I went, no. Why are we? So you just Google dark web? I have no idea, really what the dark web is. From some of the fear mongering, you can just fall into it. I literally know people that are on the dark web all the time,

ordering bits and bobs and psychedelics and all that kind of thing. Oh, drugs. I mean, I hope. organs, not voicing organs. They're trading. Tracy sold a kidney on there last Thursday. Her kidney, and you'll never guess what she made. 999.

Not organs, Kerry. Oh, don't go into anatomy again. We did this before when I told you that story about that woman that had an organ out and a titch job. I don't. That is one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard. No. You didn't tell me that.

I did. She did tell me that. We talked about it on the pod. I'm Max Rushden I'm David O'Dardy And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast What Did You Do Yesterday It's a show that asks guests

The Big Question Quite literally What did you do yesterday That's it That is it Max I'm still not sure Where do we put the stress Is it what did you do yesterday

What did you do yesterday? You know what did you do yesterday I'm really down playing it Like what did you do yesterday Like I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word.

What did you do yesterday? Like that's too much, isn't it? That is. That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.