Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E23: Amy Annette

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

"I have pictures of me wearing all red outfits and a little red beret..." This week we have the wonderful and delightful @theamyannette on the show to talk about her journey through life, her long road into comedy and almost/kind of proposing to @mrnishkumar. PHOTO 1: Boss Baby PHOTO 2: Self Haircut PHOTO 3: Shopping Problems PHOTO 4: I said YES!!!11111 PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. Is it the matcha, or am I this energized from scoring three Sephora holiday gift sets?

Definitely the sets. Full size and minis bundled together? What a steal. And that packaging? So cute. It practically wraps itself. And I know I should be giving them away, but I'm keeping the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. I don't blame you. The best holiday beauty are only at Sephora. Gift sets from Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way, and more are going fast.

Get full-size favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Kerry. Yeah. On the 12th of September, yeah. 2024, what will we be doing? We're doing a live podcast,

our first live podcast. For the London podcast festival at King's Place, and we couldn't be more excited. I only started a podcast to do live ones. Okay. Well, that's the end of this advert. Well, that was short. It's an advert, right?

Hello, and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Brister, and I'm Kerry. Bodleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. So I saw Kerry on the internet that you were on a television program. What's that? I don't know.

Maybe you recorded it ages ago, but it was... Oh, oh, the thing with Chris McCawlsland. Yes, Chris McCawlsman's show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we recorded that in the week. That was PR for Whittsville Pearl. Oh, I did Jeremy Vine as well. Did you?

Did you? You had to do a few little knicknacks. You had to do nicknacks. I had to do knickknacks, where you go on and talk about... Talk about something. The thing that you were in, you mean. Yeah, that's it. That's the thing.

You don't go on there and just talk about the weather. Just talk about gardening, which is your favorite subject. Don't do that. You're not on here to check. No, no, no. We've got to crack on with the PR. So you've been doing PR week because that was last week. Yeah.

And I know the thing is about PR week because a lot of people really don't enjoy those sort of things, but I know that you excel at them. If anything, you're like, you're very good at irony. You're really good at irony. Is it only a day of this? Could we add another day? Because this is how much I enjoy it. I would like to add more interviews.

This is what I'm reading at the moment. This is, well, the book is upstairs because I take books up. But Gabby Logan, the mid. The Midpoint plan. You read some absolutely... Well, I got sent it because I did Gabby's podcast. Oh, right. The Midpoint, which is about midlife.

And they sent it to me. Okay. You're reading it. And I'm reading it. And I tell you what, I bloody love it. And it is making me realise that all this not being able to remember fuck all is entirely normal. Yeah, but I mean, that's the menopause, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. But it's very nice to know for absolute short and be re-minded that you're not, you know. You haven't got Alzheimer's. Yeah. No, no. I mean, my brain is pure tetris.

One new name comes in, an old name goes out, and it might be one of my kids. But there we are. This is where we find out of us. Well, I mean, I constantly make fun of my mum because she can never remember any of our names. She used to go through the pets names. Yeah.

It's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But now that's me. Society is mean. Society is me. And it laughs at the woman. Children are mean. And you're like, ha, ha, ha. You're falling apart.

part and now I'm falling apart. Yeah and I'm like all of a sudden where's the empathy for this? Yeah quite. Well the empathy is in this book. The midpoint plan by Gabby Loven. I feel like you've been sponsored by the midpoint plan for this particular. I'm in it. I'm in it. That's why she sent me one. You're in it. Because she quotes some of the guests that have been on. Right. And I was on it. And what did you say? I can't remember. It wasn't deeply profound. But I think she sent it and gave it to people that on it. Right.

And now you are using this platform an opportunity to not only... I think that's fair. I think it's very fair. You've read it. You do my podcast. I do your podcast. Then you quote me on your podcast, then your book. Then I say that I read it on my podcast.

Right. It's like foot and mouth, isn't it? The podcast community. I don't think that's how we refer to it. But I'd be really interested to see if this is the starting off point for Gary Logan to come on our podcast. She'd be like, oh wow, because Kerry's done that. This is what I'm thinking. And she's promoted my book, The Midpoint Plan.

I'd love her to come on our podcast. I'm going to ask her. Well, she's definitely not listening to this podcast. So you'd have to communicate that in a different way. You don't know. I think I'm quite positive about that, actually. No. Well, I'd be so sure.

I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Let's see. Okay. You don't communicate anything to Gabby, Logan. Let's see. This is out there. Hi, Gabby. Jen Brister here.

Co-host of memory Lane with your dear friend, Kerry Godderman, who is absolutely certain that you're listening to this particular episode of the podcast. Not just the podcast. I just said she might be. But, and I said, don't rule it out. Please do. Please do. Let us know if you'd like to be on the podcast, which obviously you would because Kerry's been on yours and your fan and you're a fan.

We have so many fans. Mainly actual physical ones due to hot flushes. Listen, this is what we need to do because we need to go back over all the podcasts we've done and go and get those guys. Go and get them. I did your podcast. You do my podcast. It's like stickers in the playground when you're little. I'll give you one.

You give me three of them and I'll give you one of the, this one's workload. I'll scratch your one, you can sniff mine. Do you remember those? Scratch and sniff. Yeah, scratch and sniff. What was that about them?

Because kids were eating them and choking on them. Were they? I was licking them, that was for sure. Yeah. I always lick them. That's the 80s, mate. It was chaos out there. People choking on.

And you'd get them in, scratch and sniff stickers. You'd get them in your cereal. What was that? You'd put them in your six. That was the other thing. were choking on scratch and sniff stickers with the Wheatabix. No one was talking about this, but this was happening.

There was no health and safety. Where were the lines being drawn? There were no, not allergies, but there were robber allergies. Do you remember rubbers? Erasers, not condoms, not prophylactics. Erasers that were biscuits. So there used to be a custard cream one. Yeah.

And somebody ate it and choked it on it and died. Oh, did they? And then spoiled it for everyone. You all can't have a biscuit rubber now. And they did smell of the biscuit. the custard cream on smelt exactly like a custard cream. So some kid was like, I'm going to eat it. But the thing about those rubbers and they smell, I think, even better than the stickers.

And they certainly lasted longer was that you could be in maths. And it was so boring. And you'd be like, I'll just have a little sniff of a custard cream. And it would just take you out of isoscelese, equilateral, cordial at a proustian portal. Do you remember the pens that smell of berries? Yes. Blackberry one or Rosemary. I never had one.

Never had one. But my friends did. And you'd have to go, listen, can I have a little sniff of your pen? And they'd go, yes, but you can only have the blackberry one because I'm using the raspberry one. Raspberry was the best one. Wow. Are they still doing that? Are we still making children sniff?

No, because people ate it. People let them. And they had to ban it. Kids eat those pens. Right. God, kids are fucking stupid, right? How stupid are children? It's a pen.

It's obviously not a raspberry. We're living in a different world now because people are allergic to nuts. They are allergic. a thing before. No, people just died back in the old days. And we were all okay with it. Yeah. And they're eating pens and stickers and rubbers.

Yeah. You know, mostly coping. And choking on little toys in cereal boxes. That's right. I miss those days. Those eggs with toys in. Yeah, Kinder. I think they still do Kinder eggs, to be fair.

No one's interested in them now, though, have they? Because they invented the internet. I mean, I can't believe any of that shit has any traction since the internet. What do you mean? Toys? Well, why would you play with a tiny, tiny shit toy? Kerry. You can get VR?

Carrie, just to let you know that most three-year-olds aren't walking around with the VR headset and any three-year-olds, they love. I see them in buggies. They love landfill. I do not know a kid that doesn't like landfill. There's not a child out there that isn't attracted to some piece of plastic shit. They love it. Yeah, I know, but if you show them the internet, they'll be more interested in that.

Yeah, they're always more interested in the internet. But give them a screen. Say, would you like a kinder toy or a screen? What do you think they're going to go for? Do you know what? It depends on their age, but that is a tricky one. But my kids, chocolate is such a big pool. We can't keep harking back to the good old days of when no one had an allergy.

When kids were choking on things. Kids were choking on plastic rubbers. Those days are gone, Kerry, and we've got to let them go. You're right. You're right. And now we're just being old people that just spend, have you seen inside out too yet? No, I haven't. I haven't. I've got all that to look forward to.

It's so good. But one of my favourite bits in it is. Because it's got new characters. So it's got anxiety. The old ones are joy. It's got anxiety, which is played by Maya Hawke. And she's very good. And it's got shame.

It's got enwee. And occasionally, nostalgia pops out of the cupboard. And they all go, no, it's too soon. Go back. And she's an old lady going, do you remember the time when we're, and they're like, get back. Our host is only 13. We're not ready for nostalgia.

That's you. Kerry, you're nostalgic five years after the event. I'm nostalgic while you're still doing it. I'll be like, do you remember? Let's hold this moment three hours ago. Because it'll turn up on a montage on our iPhone. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like that nostalgia, I have a less of a draw for me. Why? I don't know, but I know that you like to collect things and have things like Chloe loves mementos and things and we're taking the kids to this basketball event tonight. And Chloe's like, I'm just so sad. And I was like, what you're sad about?

She went, I just feel so sad that they don't have tickets. And I went, we don't need tickets because we've got like a QR code. And she said, but that's what I mean. I really want them to have a ticket and then they can have it and they can put it in a little box. And it will be like a little box of mementos that they'll go back and they'll remember that we went. And I was like, get to fuck. I mean, what are you talking about? That's, I think you lean into that.

I don't think that's me. I don't think that's me. You don't want to have little Mementos. Well, I do have like boxes and boxes of that shit that I've got in the loft. But the truth is, I sort of secretly hope there's a house fire so I don't have to ever look or deal with it.

You know, you can just get rid of it. Yeah, but then that's hard, isn't it? What do you mean? Just chuck it in a skip. I mean, literally, just chuck it in a skip. Yeah, yeah. But then you'd have to go through it and then look at all the little.

You haven't looked at it for years. You're very zen. You're really zen. I'm just in the now. You're just in the now. I'm always in the now. I don't keep hold of anything. I find it irritating. I find that a bit too much. Can't there be a sort of happy medium? But you haven't got a happy medium. You've just got boxes full of shit. Yeah. Okay. But I haven't accumulated any more shit since about 2000. I reckon when I started having kids or have it growing humans and raising humans. That is absolutely bullshit. You told me that you kept their hair, their teeth. Their shoes, their clothes, their books, their nose. Yeah, that's true. I have got a box of baby shit. It's not why I said noses.

They've got their own noses. But you didn't take their noses. I would have though. I'd have collected bogeys if it was. Yeah, if you would have. You would have. You'd have collected it all. So that that is.

If you can keep teeth, you can keep a bogey. Yeah, I mean, that's gross. But it's all shit that your body's expelled and. I understand what, I understand what they are. But I mean, then we're like, what we're keeping our first full nappy. The first one.

The maconium. The maconium. It was black, darling. It was black, darling. Yeah, that maconium stuff. The placenta in a nice little jiffy bag. Why not? You can dry it.

People dry it and put it. Juice it. Juice it, dry it. Put it in a necklace. It's like that old waffle advert. Grill and bacon fry and meat them. Bratite potato. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Sorry. He just said potato placenta. I feel really rough. Bird's eye potato placenta. Placentery versatile. That was, yeah. Grill.

Yeah. Yeah. I can fry them meet them. Great. Wow. Adverts are in there. All the adverts from the 80s are right there in my database. Yeah.

Well, thank. Fuck. They stayed in there. Shake and vac. All that. Quick fit. Can't get better than a quick fitter. Than a quick fitter.

What happened to that? The shaken vac will put the freshness back. Do the shaken vac. It will put the freshness back. I mainly remember. remember those two because they, a punk band used to cover them. Half man, half biscuit used to cover those. What about our whites lemonade?

I'm a secret lemonade drinker. Our whites. Our whites. I'm trying to give it up a butt between of those notes. Our whites. Oh, whites. That was one of the best adverts ever. I think Elvis Costello's dad wrote that advert.

Oh, I'm not at all surprised. It's got, it's just proper quality. Yeah. We are old people You're doing it now You're doing it Down the stairs Open the refrigerator

What happened to that guy To get his This is nostalgia Jen, this is nostalgia And you're doing it And you're participating in it And now you're one of those people That go

Do you remember those adverts For when we were kids? But you know what I don't have You might not collect bits of tat But it's in your head The tap is in there I don't have a box of our whites Head in the way

You've got box of tat in your brain mate Yeah I can't get rid of that That's true That is the gift of really good advertising, isn't it? It's that it keeps on giving 30, 40 years down the line. Yeah. Fucking out.

Anyway, we have a guest, don't be Kerry Gardner. We are talking to Amy Annette. Yes, we are. I really enjoy talking to Amy. So Amy Annette is a stand-up comedian, but she has had a past. She has been what they, well, actually what she refers to as a shadow artist. That sounds quite sinister, actually.

I love it. I love it when she just casually went, have you two read the artist's way? And we both went, yeah. And they're very intensely. Of course we have. We ate it and digested it. Well, Amy has done pretty much everything there is to do around the performance before entering it.

Like in a concentric circle. Circling it. Yeah, you circle it for ages. You're like, do I want to be an agent? Do I want to be a producer? Do I want to be a producer? And then finally, no, I want to do the thing. And she's done the thing.

And now she's doing the thing. And here we are talking to the wonderful Amy and it. So we were all at Glastonbury, weren't me? Yeah. Did you have fun times? I had such a good time. I also saw Danny Brown and I found it very funny at the end of your Rachel Paris episode. You guys talking about it.

I enjoyed it, but also similarly, I was there because Nish loves Danny Brown. Of course. Because Nish is cool. He's cool. I mean, not in any other way than music and culture. He's not like, he's not swaggy, let's say. But he loves Canny Brown. Yeah.

So I normally just go along. Defer to him. Yeah, which is very unlike our relationship normally. But just run after him being like, okay, I'll watch that. But it did mean last year I missed Cat Stevens, which I regret to the same way. He didn't want to see Cat Stevens? He wanted to see this cool band called Wise Blood or something like that. Oh, I'm very surprised.

Yeah, who are fab. They are great. I would have thought Nish would want Cass Stevens. Yeah, me too. That was my favourite last jig. It was. Well, what an opportunity? But that's on me, because I do have agency, and I could have just gone.

I know, but I get sucked up. I get followed. I follow along. You might have noticed, but I just don't have any of the classroom. I did see the two of you together every single time I saw you. I'm like, oh, where are we going? Where are we going? Well, I didn't know where we were going off the time.

But when my brother's there, he wasn't there this time, but he's a bit more like, he knows bands, he knows stuff. He's like, let's go see this. And I'm like, yeah, you know what you're talking about. I don't. I also saw Shadne Lewis. Did she wear? All Saints.

Yes. in the Avalon stage. It was beautiful. It was at the same time as LCD sound system. You missed nothing. So I was happy to leave. Was she doing her own stuff or also? Some of her own stuff and new stuff.

Shola Alma came out. Fun. No way. And then she, but she did give us what we wanted, which was black coffee, all the good hits, all the big ones. I was really listening to that one

that I thought was so profound when I was a young semi-pissed person. You know the one that you were hammered for your entire 20s? What was the one where they speak? at the beginning. And she speaks at the beginning. She used to write me a letter.

Yeah. Did I do something to make you cry? And I at the time thought it was so deep. And I listened back to it. What a load of shit. Oh, absolutely. I don't know if they wrote a lot of songs. It was the 90s. It was the most mild-mannered sort of victimy.

Look, why don't you like me? Why don't you like me? At the time, I thought it was profound. Yeah. But that's why we thought, terrible idea. No, awful. Girl power had so much more. I mean, girl power literally was like paper thin, two-dimensional.

Exactly. But we were like, wow, what a feminist anthem. But when you've got to compare that to name a name, name, name, name, why did you drop me? Yeah, that was the sort of vibe. Oh, I feel so bad I've been dumped. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats.

But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice, yes. We deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age.

Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Did you go as a kid? No. Did you? No. No, I never went as a kid.

Did you go to festivals? It's just only because this little picture of you, you look like you were at a sort of, you could have had a festivaly childhood. That's the vibe I'm getting off this picture. Oh my God, that picture is absolutely. So cute. Oh, boss baby. So, where is that taking?

Now, that's Canada. I was going to say, it's like North America. It is North America. And you can see that there's two kayaks on the back on a car, which just shows you Canada. Canada. My mom's Canadian. And we would go and see her parents, my family, every summer.

So that's that. Whereabouts in Canada? It's an area called Muscoca. It's very beautiful. Oh, I've heard of that. I've heard of that. It's actually where Goldie Horn has a holiday house. We're very proud of that fact.

Wow. And who's this other kid in the picture? That's my cousin Luke. And he's Canadian? My whole family's Canadian. My brother lives in Canada. Right. And yet, here I am.

And you decided you didn't want to go. Toughen up with the winters? No. No. Those winters are long, right? Horrible. It's all about equipment, isn't it? Yeah.

Extreme weather. They have the proper jackets, like coats. Like, our coats would not work in Canada. We complain about extreme weather, We do not even put like chains on our tires or whatever it is. We don't have the right things. We're like complete pussies. Oh, truly.

But the complaining is our thing. Oh, yeah. That's 100% us. Yeah, we're good at that. We went to see my grandparents recently last Christmas and they're 95, 96, I think. And we took them out to this, this like rural bit. And do you remember there was a bomb cyclone, which was the big snow thing that like totally covered New York. It was a couple years ago.

Yes. And they just kept calling it the bomb cyclone. And we were right in the middle of the bomb cyclone. So we got snow. In a snowed in. Was that scary? It was, well, I was scared, but all the Canadians were like, well, that's the country. Okay, I guess I hate it when you're in extremists and other people are blasé.

You're like, you're not hearing me. I was like, sorry guys, the water stopped. What's going on? My aunt, like before the power went out, she was just filling buckets. She was like, it'll be fine. I was like, it will be? Oh, that would say. They're like that.

Canada, Australia. Go to Australia. You're like, what is that spider just called over my leg? Is it poised? Yeah, it might kill you. There's no. Don't. No, I don't fancy that. No panic. Wow. So you are a very cute baby, Amy. That is so kind and I agree.

Look at you. But this outfit is to die for. I'm honestly, I don't know that now. Just for friendship sakes, I will send you afterwards so many pictures of me. I don't recall my mother who is quite a feminist person getting so excited in dressing me up. But I have pictures of me in all red outfits with a little matching beret. Oh, gorgeous. Little beret. I love it.

But my mum is from Canada near there. The booties are great. soft poker dotted booties. These are the cutest. But sometimes, and I feel it a bit, I had a daughter, and I think my mum was like it, it's just great when you get to dress a baby up. You just get a moment. Yeah. You're like, this is, I'm just

especially in a onesie. That onesie, I would wear that now. I would too, actually. I'd have worn that to Glastonbury, no problem. And you would look great. It's almost, and I like the onesy, it's kind of open. Can you see it's open at the legs? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost a caftain. It's almost a caftain. It's like, which I could appreciate now. Yeah. I thought, hopefully you're wearing a nappy. Well, who knows, I'm out in Canada.

She's free. Could be doing anything. Yeah. My mum is from a bit of Canada. Well, I think maybe all 1950s Canada was like this, which she was born in the 1950s. And there's pictures of her in ice capates. What's that? Like shows choreographed on ice for children.

What? Yeah. So local ice rink. It sounds like. Local ice rink. Sounds terrifying. You would join the ice show. Yeah.

Or the ice team, I guess. I'm sure there's the skating team. Yeah. And then, but they would choreograph these dances. And like, the smaller girls would all wear like little pea coats or whatever or bumblebees, like very themed. Oh, I'm lovingness.

And then sometimes my grandmother would get roped in. So there's like, there's a picture of her in the back and she's dressed like a sort of a lollipop. It's so much. It's so kitsch. But before kitsch. Yeah. I guess what Kitch is based on? Pretty Kitch.

Yeah. Did they have like, oh, was that Doris Day film when they ice skate and they sing by the light of the silver. Yeah. And they've all got those muffs. Yeah. The gorgeous muffs. Well, to be said, I think they did all just ski on the lakes, skate on the lakes, when they froze. Did your mum moot

bringing you up in Canada or was it always you were going to be raised here? Raised here. My mom and my dad met here. Right. So that she'd already moved here. Right. She moved here and didn't think I'm going to go out to Canada. I think I'm going to go out to London in the 70s so I think it was a different cooler time. Yeah.

They always said that they lived in shared housing and like that's just flat sheds but it sounds cool. Yeah. Shared housing. Yeah. They were like we didn't have a fridge. We put milk on the shelves and you're like okay that sounds great that's that's not healthy but I'm just happy that you had a good time yeah but she's still live in London yeah yeah my parents still live in London they're in North London where I was raised I mean in the groovy 70s and 80s that was a kind of bohemian patch and then your summers in Canada this

sounds like a very oh idyllic cool childhood it was nice to go from sort of canoeing in the summer to coming back to Camden and being like I can canoe there's Alan there's Madness that's what I think of as Camden Alan Bennett and madness. Yeah, I saw Alan Bennett a lot because he lived on the end of a road of my friends, lady on the van street. And I remember figuring out it was that street.

And I remember like, because even now, it's like such a fancy street. I think Michael Palin still lives around there. Right. But then on the end of it is like a, on the same road. Big Stephen phrase lived on it. Yeah.

There's a big halfway house for the local women's prison. Right. Which has always been there. So it's that classic Camden thing of like the most expensive house next to a council flat. Yeah.

That will always be that. It's London. Cheap by Jail. I used to love going up to Camden when I sort of came about like 1718 and I lived... Camden Market. Oh, loved it. It's so different now. We used to drink in all the local pubs when I was sort of 17, 18 and then we were like,

let's shake off this suburban bullshit and go up to Camden. Go to the underworld. Yeah, go to the underworld. Dublin Castle. Barfly. Camden Palace, which is now Coco's. Yeah. And I remember going with my friend to watch this band from court called the Sultan's of Ping.

And she knew someone who knew someone who knew someone who knew. knew someone who could get us in. On a Tuesday night? Did you go on a Tuesday night? I can't remember what day or the week it was babe. But we were stood outside and she said to him, he was coming out and loads of people were like, you promised us you get us in and all the rest of it. He went, I can't get you all in. That was a cork accent. I can't get you all in like.

So then he said, it's not bad, actually. It's not a bad cork accent. And he said, oh, and she, my friend said, but we've come from really far. We've come from healing. And then later on in the night, he was doing his set and blah, blah, blah. And at the end, he went, okay, people have come from our old. so let's see where you're all from so and then he went who's here from Scotland and there was a raw yeah who's here from Wales there was a raw well fuck that there's

people in for me lind and we were like you socky fucker but fair though you got you got in it was a good gig this haircut can I say I love it thank you you know what now I look around at the children the cool children today the young teens and I think, I look like that. Yeah. In this picture. Yes, you do too. Yeah.

Well, probably that's the only age when you really can pull off a sort of self-cut friend. How old are you? I think I'm about 12, 13. I was going to say you look like pre-teen, early teen. And you're reading a fantasy novel. I'm reading a fantasy novel. But it's actually, I did love The Darkest Rising, but I didn't read any other

ones. I wasn't like a Terry Pratchett. I actually loved Agatha Christie from a very young age. Which is, I think, very odd now looking back. She was a great writer. Great writer, but why was I, a sort of 10-year-old girl, were like, this, this Belgian man I identify with him. This is my guy.

Because they're riddles, aren't they? And also, not everyone, but I can read them and immediately forget and just read them again. And there's loads of them. So they're like kind of a soap. Yeah, they're basically a soap. And also, they're very easy to read. There's a death, there's a mystery and there's a resolution.

Wow. It's very satisfying, read. It's a very reassuring character, Hercules. Very reassuring. But I would say not for a 10-year-old girl. You know? I mean, you say that. He spoke to you.

He did. And you know what? In some ways, he still does. I'm turning into him, I think. Was you always a big reader? Yeah. My mum is in publishing. So there were just books around.

Yeah. Always. So we, she used to edit on, I mean, she probably still does, on paper, but she'd bring back the manuscripts for us to draw on, like, scribble on the back. Yeah. But then sometimes I would turn over the page. And sometimes it would be very sexy.

And I'd be very excited. So it'd be like you bit, but because it was just sheafs of paper from work, whatever they had, like before recycling, I guess. Yeah. It wouldn't always be the whole book. So you'd start reading one side of your doodle paper and you'd be like, this is great stuff. I wonder what happens.

And you're searching for the next one. That's great. So I guess, yeah, I did read a lot. You've got a magazine publication, haven't you? I thought you do with a magazine? No, my show is based on girls' magazines. Oh, based where I've got me yourself. I do consistently.

No, no, but you would think that from my Instagram profile, because honestly, someone the other day said to me, is this magazine coming out? I was like, no, no, no, that's my poster. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I actually have a copy of Shout here. Yeah, I don't remember Shout. I think the shout was after us.

No, no. Are you getting your hands on these? Where have you kept them? I'll tell you this, eBay and not cheap. I remember Looking. Do you remember Looking and the advert? La La La La, lookin, you're looking, you're looking good. I love it.

Gary Barlow. There was just 17. What was the other one? Sugar. Sugar. I was in Sugar magazine. What? I bet you were.

Doing what? Doing what? That's so good. Modeling? Modeling. Of course not. I looked like a potato at the time. I was a haunted house story.

A house I was living in, Crouchend was haunted. It wasn't. You wrote that up? I mean, I was on free time as a Skittles expert. I wasn't. Yeah. There's a lot of bollocks in these. Oh, it's absolutely trash.

I actually can't believe that people wrote in. I always assumed as interns the whole thing. That's fantastic. What for the sugar? Just for everything, yeah. Oh yeah, it was. Somebody knew somebody and they went and they, I've made the mind and said, oh, we're living in this haunted house and she went, really?

And she went, no, but can we write the story? Write it up. That's so fun. So then we had a photo shoot. They came around. We had to talk about the haunted house. I was like, this is. Yeah.

I don't know how much I've got to give to this. I would have loved to have read that. Do you remember Moore, which was the sexy one? Yes. So there was more. And B. So what was the other one? B.

But more was the sexy one with the pages in the middle that were sometimes a little bit glued together because they were the sexy bit but you had to prize them apart. Holy moly. Oh my God, I really miss out all of this. And then you can see the sexual position of the week. That's right. All in the magazine, it's like you can just,

Gary Barlow's interviewed at one point and they say, do you think you'll always live in England? And he goes, well, I'm English. End of interview. Okay, that's the big conversation. It's such a funny, distant world, isn't it? Now in the internet. That's what I think.

I feel bad now as a mother because I really told Elsie Offercutting your own hair and I just complimented you. I'll tell you this, my parents were furious. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I really bored Elsie out. And whenever she used to do it, I'd be like, you've done it again, you've got your own. Now looking back, I don't know why I was so bothered.

I know. I was bothered. Yeah, I get it. But people, it is weird how many people do cut their own hair. Yeah. Really. And you really control. That's not really a fringe.

I mean, what's the bit of the bat. You've had a rat's tail or a molly. No, that's like the rats tail. It's just like the, like the, um, The sideburn, you've grown it out. It's like an elfin look. Yeah, and that's a nice way of describing that. Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah.

Certainly, I think I probably just took the scissors and it just kept going. That's one of my main memory. It's one of those things where you go, I don't want to fringe anymore. And then you start cutting and you go, oh, I'll adjust it. And now I have a receding hairline and I look at that and I think, do think how cavalier I was. So much hair. I used to move my room around, I'm going to say, once a week. I used to do that.

And I used to draw in advance. What pictures of how I was going to arrange it? My great dream. I loved it. And the bed would always be the problem, of course. And then I remember one time angled into the room, diagonal into the room. Wow, that must be a radical week.

Really radical. I felt excited by that. My mom worried me once because she said she went through a feng shui face. And she said, if your feet are coming towards the door, that's how you'll be carried out dead. So it's bad, ju-ju to have your feet. That's such an intense thing to say you're trying to do. What does it matter which way your feet carried out?

Don't unpack fenchway, babe. No, I see. I mean, my advice. I mean, you're dead. I don't care which way I go out. She really went for it. She was tying ribbons around money trees and she was advising us where to put our beds. Mirrors, very stressful with mirrors.

Mirrors. It's always mirrors everywhere. My entire adolescence, my feet were facing the door because there was, you literally, once you put the bed in through the door, that was it. That's very much. That's very much. That's very much. So there was, you couldn't put the bed in any one. I don't want to bring the mood down, but some bad shit is going to happen.

Oh my God. Twenty, 26 years later. Why are you wearing a sleeping bag in this? one. Okay, so this is... Is that a sleeping bag? Yeah, it's a sleeping bag coat. I went through a crippling online shopping addiction phase. It's so chipper about it.

Yeah, so chipper. Well, I'll tell you this. I often sent them back. Well, that's the joy of internet. This is just a sleeping bag, though, right? Well, so I looked it up again when I found this picture. It was like, it's a brand called Ashish, who are quite cool. And it's a sleeping bag coat.

So you can see on one side, I've zipped it so the arm doesn't come out. And on the other time, I've unzipped it so the arm does come out. Okay, facially you're not committing, are you? No, I did send this back. I mean, this is not a... This is not a coat. I know, but also wearing a sleeping bag. I will say, I look at this and I think,

should have kept it. That was so cool. I wish you had it a glass of brew this year. Oh my God. It's, I went, I worked for the first time in a place where it was, there was a big reception and they would take any delivery. Like, every other job I'd had was small. Okay.

And they didn't really encourage you. You wanted to test that? I really wanted to test it. You're like, how big can I get them? How big a package can I get into the store? And it came weirdly chink-wrapped. I do remember it. I remember, like, opening it, going,

P-W-H-How did you get it back in the bag? Me and my dear friend, Steph, who was the PA to the, my CEO, to be fair, we sort of like rolled it back in. Brilliant. She found it very entertaining. One time I got a beautiful brand called Isolated Heroes, but too cool for me. Sequined onesie, but it was like if you had any thigh, you had to be very skinny, basically.

Right. If the thighs touched, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Oh, the sequins will catch. Then you'd just be tangled straight away. Yeah, I've done that. I've got a T-quin top and I've wore it for a corporate and I made a gesture and I attached myself. And then you're there.

My arm to my top and I was like, oh my God, I'm a separate my arm on my top. It's like hair and a watch. You're like, okay, I live here now. I live here now. But send them all back. What were you thinking when you bought that? I think I was thinking this is fun. That's innovation.

That's fashion innovation. Like a spork. It's a spork. Yeah. So this is like a spork. So this is at home. This is in my office. What I will say is, looking back, your face.

Unbelievable that I wasn't. Fired. I was eventually made redundant, but we all were. And I don't think it was anything to do with this. Even on the back of that chair, you can see there's another jacket with a tag on. I bought that as well. So you weren't happy at this time if you're doing excessive. Would you say you were addicted to internet shopping?

Yeah. Were you numbing? I guess I was. Yeah, you know. Yeah, I was numbing. Numbing. I'm numbing. I'm numbing.

I'd moved on from biscuits. And I was like, what can I have? I'm not doing what I want to do, so I'm doing this. Yeah, it's true. I mean, I worked for a TV company, so it's pretty close to what I wanted to do. Oh, that's worse. So I'd rather be digging up the road than be watching people doing the thing I want to do. No, that's, it is.

So when did you get into, because I'm trying to piece together, because it sounds like you did everything before the thing that you wanted to do. Yeah. So you did the PR, you did the producing. You circled it. I worked in TV. You worked in development. I was an agent's assistant for a bit. You were an agent's assistant for sake, Kayee.

Yeah, I know. And the whole time, you're thinking. thinking I wanted to be a comedian. Well, I guess I am, but not super consciously. Have you done the artist's way? Yes. Yes. So I was a shadow artist, a pure shadow artist.

Very much. Though then in the book, they are not the heroes of the piece. They are villains and they all bring you down. I mean, it's really difficult to get into comedy anyway, but I think if you are already interacting and, you know, like your close friends, all of the people that you're hanging out with, your partner, everyone, they're all doing that thing. Then all of a sudden it's like a put.

the pressure if you decided like hey guys you know the thing you're doing i think i'm going to do it's like oh i think it's kind of embarrassing because you're going to do it secretly yeah which is what i did yeah yeah yeah but i didn't tell anyone i was doing it yeah yeah pretty quickly it felt good yeah i wouldn't say well that's reassuring yes yeah yeah i weren't like oh this isn't right no no no it was very much like yeah i do want to do this that's great yeah i've got love opinions yeah you've gone from not having any you're like what do i say yeah now i'm like shit to say I can't seem to stop talking. Oh, my time's up and I've still got loads to say.

Yeah. I remember saying that to my mom was like, I just don't know what to say. And she was like, are you kidding? You. You. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip.

Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Fly the seven-time world's best leisure airline champions, Air Transat. When a child is in the hospital, visitors come to say hello, and when visiting hours are over, they leave. But family, family does whatever it takes to stay. At Ronald McDonald's, we believe families shouldn't have to fight alone. So we make sure they have everything they need,

with a community of support, warm meals, and a place to rest. Because when a child is sick, family stays, and Ronald McDonald's house stays with them. Tell us about this picture of you and Nish. Where are you? Oh yeah. So we are on the Sydney Harbour Bridge. You look like you're in the same outfit, but you're not.

You're in a one thing. It's a couple suit. Yeah. We have something to tell you. We are going to be bound together for life. No, they make you wear these very unflattering jumpsuits when you go up the harbour climb. I think it's not very active actually. It's just stairs, but I guess they don't want you catching one thing.

I don't know why, but in my head, I have it, like, you're there with crampons, like, you're there with crampons, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you do have to, like, you are attached and you do sort of move the thing around, but it, it would, you are just on a metal staircase. Okay. You'd have to really try to kill yourself, to kill yourself, which, you know. Are you sort of harnessed on, I assume? Loosely, like, around our waist, it does look like we're harnessed together. I can see that now, but we're both, I think both of our, both of the buckles are going to the, like, the chain, which goes all the way along. So you're safe?

You're safe. You're safe. You're safe. You hold onto it the whole. and you sort of move it through a wire. Yeah, because that's bloody high. Oh, it's high. I mean, it's so high. You walk under, because it's basically, it's a freeway, right?

It's a big bridge for the car. So you walk, that's the scariest bit is actually when you walk under the bridge, like on a, I don't know, like a sort of lower level and the cars are right below you. That's a scary bit. And then you go up and it's less scary. Wow. It almost looks like you're going to go, and this is when Nish asked me. Well, it's funny you should say that, Jan, because at the end of the tour,

this is probably two years into our relationship. At the end of the tour, there was a Facebook, like, portal, like a big computer. And it was like, you can have this photo for free if you log onto your Facebook. Give us your data. And we'll just post the photo to your Facebook. Right. Give us your data. And you get it for free.

And of course, I was like, absolutely take my data. And I, so there's a big portal. It's not like a computer. It's like almost like a sort of information desk thing. So I guess I don't know what took over me. For some reason, I thought it would be funny to write. I said yes. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark.

One, one, one, one, one. That is funny. I think that's funny. I thought the ones were like, this is a joke. One, one, one, one, one. You scared the fuck out of me. Oh, every, no, no, no, Nish. I must have been so...

Nish had a ring in his pocket. The whole time. No, no, no, no. The whole time, I really ruined it. Also, why did you get to... I got to the end when I did it. He'd had his moment. Yeah.

No, but I just think I must be so comfortable in our relationship. But I was like, you know, it's going to be funny. If I pretend, we just got engaged. Which is like getting engaged. Which is basically getting engaged. The epiphon And we still haven't. Going to keep you together forever.

Yeah, we basically got engaged because he didn't dump me immediately. That's a really lovely thing to realize. But also that Nish was like, she's a keeper. She's a hit. She's chaos. I got a call. So it was Sydney.

I guess maybe Flistie Ward was in Melbourne. It was around the comedy festival. I got a call from her being like, what? And I was like, oh yeah, of course. Facebook really will. Deliverance. Well, that travels. Yeah.

That travels. Yeah. I did have to change it because my mum did hear from an art. What's great is that he didn't feel obligated. To marry me. Or even like, comment on it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he did find it funny. Well, I don't know if you found it funny. Do you want to talk about you in Nish? How did you meet? We met actually in Edinburgh. Did you? We went to the same university but not at the same time because I'm younger. But like only, we know.

We only miss by it. And then through Durham. Yes. And then he was doing sketch comedy. Did you know when him and Tom Nien and used to do a sketch group? No. I did not know he and Tom or him. He started in sketch.

I can't even imagine it. And so I met him then. But we didn't actually start dating for a few years after that. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you're doing your show at Edinburgh Festival this year. Where are you? I'm in the Pleasance.

I mean... Lovely. The bunker too. The bunker too. I know that doesn't sound appealing, but in Edinburgh, that's hot stuff. That's actually great to be on a bunker. It's really hard to explain these things.

It's hard to explain. Yeah. Actually, the most expensive cave. The best cave. Yeah. I've got the cape. I'm in a skip with a roof and it's costing... I'd like you to lend me...

With a roof. What? Green Morgan, you went out. That was the hut. The hut was a skip with the roof, wasn't it? 100%. And the below. That's where you were.

Yes. Both on the hut and the below. The in between, the alley, the crack, the bumhole. Beyond. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love the alley. Love the crack. Oh, and I'm at 4.25.

Oh, nice time. Yeah, I think so. Legalise it, that's fun. And then go for dinner. Dinner and bed. Thank you, Amy. Oh, thank you for coming. I think for having me.

Everyone go and see Amy Annette's show, 4.30 p.m. at the Pleasence Underbed. Underpants. Underpants. And 425. And 425. Don't come at 430.

You'll miss the first. 430. Listen, I'll let you in, but I won't be happy about it. Yeah. No, I will let you in. Okay. Thank you. My coffee's gone kind of cold now.

Mm. Mine is just about to boil. Can't you get Chloe to bring you a coffee like a obedient concubine? An obedient concubine. I mean, you have met. Right, don't you rebrand, Chloe, the obedient concubine? I mean, I would love to try, but you've met Chloe, so I don't think. I know, but if you do it ironically, you might be able to slip it under the net.

Oh, right, so if I ironically refer to her as my concubine. Yeah, people get away with all kinds of shit with irony. Yeah. You just shimmy-singotry under the irony dance. Just a little bit of plated misogyny for you, my darling, but it's all ironic. It's ironic. I'm joking. That's what my mum does.

It says something really quite offensive. And then when you retaliate, she goes, I'm joking. Isn't that everybody in the 70s, 80s, 90s? And naughty's. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. That is British humour.

Cruel, but ironic. Yeah. It's banter, you prick. Yeah. I feel like sometimes... Look at you, you can't with your stupid head. I'm joking. Joking!

Isn't that what a lot of stand-up comedy is? Hello, mate, where are you from? What's your name? You look like a right fucking cunt. Jokes. I'm a comedian. Oh, this bloke has got sensitive to the comedy side. Comedy.

It's comedy. Yeah. I'll try it. It's a licence to be a cunt. I'll try it with Chloe. I'll let you know how I get on. Yeah. If you call, say Kerry,

like throw me under a bus page. Say Kerry said, Maybe you should call you the obedient concubine. 100%. I'll leave with that. Kerry had this idea. Lovely. Not me.

Not me. It's called a shit sandwich in training. You come at something, you come with, hey, Kerry had a lovely idea about you. She was saying some lovely things about you about how kind you are. There you go, kind. Kind. That's a very broad term. That is broad.

She was saying how kind you are and then she'll be like, oh, that's nice. Then you soften her up and then go, she was saying you were like an obedient concubine. Right. how far back should I stand when I say that? I feel like as far back as me in London. Yeah, I was going to say, maybe we should do this on Zoom. She's a very good aim. Listen, joking aside, please don't do that.

Oh, okay, Gary. Now, I'll take, I've ignored the first bit of your advice, but I'm very much leaning into the second bit. Yeah, yeah. Ben went to a party at the weekend, right? He got invited to a little local garden party. And why didn't you go? I noticed, well, here we go.

Oh. I noticed he kind of didn't invite me. And then I went, and I was sort of okay with it, because I don't know if I would have wanted to go. But then I went, am I invited? And he went, well, you are, yeah, but I just didn't think you'd want to come, which is fair, because I sort of don't really,

I didn't know anyone. It was to do with that reading group he does. So I was like, fair, okay. And then he went, to be honest, Kerry, when I'm with you, it all gets, people just want to talk to you, and it's boring. It's boring. He said it's boring for him.

That's not very nice, is it? What? Saying that my presence creates boring. He's not saying that your presence creates boring. Well, yeah, but when you unpack it. But that's not what you unpack it. That's not what he said. When you unpack it, you've unpacked it in a different way to the way I've unpacked it.

You've unpacked it back to front. No, I thought I know what he's getting at. Because at the moment, around here, now I think there's a massive poster campaign for Wittable Pearl. So my face is all over this area. I think they might be only doing it in this area because I know I live it. So like on the train station There's an enormous poster of me Of you? Amazing

Yeah But all it's done is make my husband Really want to avoid me Because he's like, it's so boring But he's like you It is boring It is boring I don't

I don't He did come back from that party I said was it good He went I had a really nice time Because you weren't there And he went Everything He said we talked about literature

Yeah Politics Politics Did anyone Really interesting things With interesting people No one mentioned your career No one mentioned

my career. There you go. No one mentioned the massive poster on the platform. No one mentions your poster or your face, Ricky Javais or anything. No, none of it.

He was like, it was absolutely brilliant. Taskmaster. No, no. Didn't come up. Oh, like, oh, where do I know you from? No, nobody did that. No. No.

He really liked it. Can you see a life for him without me? I think it feels quite positive. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast.

What did you do yesterday? It's a show that asks, The best's the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday?

Every single word this time I'm going to try and make a, like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.