Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E26: Susie McCabe

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

"I told my parents I was gay and I left the house 20 minutes and I went to a phone box at the bottom of the street because I was homeless..." This week we have the wonderful and brilliant Susie McCabe on the show talking about coming out, meeting Jarvis Cocker, her amazing nan, bucket hats, her wedding... It was just such a joy to have her on. PHOTO 1: My Nan PHOTO 2: Coming out PHOTO 3: Getting married PHOTO 4: Bucket hats PHOTO 5: Jarvis Cocker PHOTO 6: Billy Connolly PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Is it the matcha, or am I this energized from scoring three Sephora holiday gift sets? Definitely the sets. Full size and minis bundled together? What a steal. And that packaging? So cute. It practically wraps itself. And I know I should be giving them away, but I'm keeping the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. I don't blame you. The best holiday beauty sets are only at Sephora. Gift sets from Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way, and more are going fast.

Get full-size favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Kerry. Yeah. On the 12th of September, yeah. 2024, what will we be doing? We're doing a live podcast,

our first live podcast. For the London podcast festival at King's Place, and we couldn't be more excited. I only started a podcast to do live ones. Okay. Well, that's the end of this advert. Well, that was short. Hello, and welcome to Memory Lane.

I'm Jen Bristair, and I'm Kerry Goddlyman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page.

So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Do you play banana grams? No, but you've told me about banana grams. I went to buy banana grams, but we were in a shop. in London, you know the one, the big age. And it was like fucking 30 quits.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'll give you. It's just like a little bag of banana. No, banana grams shouldn't cost you more than 15 quid. That's the rate for it. And it is a bag of letters and you will not regret it. You will not regret it. You've said this to me before. You said this to me for.

Exactly for holidays. For holidays, so much pleasure to be had. Honestly, get it for your holiday this year in Greece, Turkey. Okay, I'm going to, I will do that. I will find it online and I shall purchase it. Get it off, Jeff. Get it off, Jeff. I'm trying not to get it off Jeff. I know we all try and boycott Jeff.

I'm boycotting Jeff. I know. We always try and boycott Bezos. If I can get it somewhere else. I need it tomorrow. Click, click, click. There it is. On your doorstep.

If I wait. No, but that's why I've got to get it today. If I wait, then obviously Jeff's the one I go to. If you haven't got time. Yeah, but if I've got time, I'm going to avoid Jeff. Yeah, but then you go down the other road because I bought something the other day for Ben, a suitcase for our holiday and we're going in less than a week. I can't believe it.

I thought, where is that suit. And then I just looked up delivery date after we've left. And I thought I should have just got it off, Jeff. Oh, flipping neck. That's a pain. I tried to boycott Jeff. Backfired. Yeah.

I would never buy a suitcase online, I don't think. I need to see it. Yeah, but it's a nice one. It was in Eastpack. I mean, I'm happy to take their sponsorship. It was an East pack one. It was fancy. And it was in the sale.

And I thought, that's a lovely suitcase. So I ordered it. Now I've got to wait forever for it. Now you've got to wait for it. After we've gone on holiday. After you've gone on holiday. But East Pack works everywhere. Even after you've been on holiday.

That could be their tagline. I know, but it was a fancy one for our holiday because our holiday is a fancy holiday and I want a fancy. It is a fancy holiday. You want some fancy freaking luggage. I want to be, if I go somewhere fancy, I want to feel fancy, look fancy, have fancy. And I think you're completely, yeah.

I don't want to be like, oh, look, this is the same bag. I've had for nine years. Look at the hole in it. Totally. I've had to tie a ribbon around. because it's the same kind of a seven-other-ups I want to be one of those people that's got four-wheels. Not some chump lumbering around an airport with two wheels.

I want to be a four-wheel winner. Four-wheel. Oh my God, four-wheels is a game-changer. It's another level. It's a game-changer. Why aren't we all doing, why are they still selling bags that've got two wheels? You just might as well be using a mango.

I almost want to come up to people and go, you do know you can get a bag with four wheels. Four wheels. You watch those people gliding around that airport. Gliding. With a smug look on their face. Rightly so. Yeah, living their life like it's golden.

Sometimes people are sitting on them. Well, basically these are tronkeys. They're adult trunkeys. Adult trunkeys. So trunkeys have been around for ages and then some bright spot went, why are the kids having the four wheels? Four wheels. We could all have four wheels.

I feel like the day that I got a bag with four wheels was one of the happiest days of my life. Yeah. That was a real love language to yourself. I just couldn't believe it walking up going through Gatwick Airport which is my airport You didn't even have a flight book

Did you? You just went as a day trip No No I went for a day trip to Gatwick With your whole wheel You just took your lunch in it You took a pack lunch Yeah

Took the little Toy train to the North terminal Yeah Glided about all day with your four wheel Glide in about Came back Came back Yeah

And everyone Everyone was like She looks like she's having the time of her life. And I felt, I sent to him, this suitcase is empty. I'm not even going on holiday. I'm not going on holiday. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just here for the four wheels.

Yeah. I know. For the wheels and giggles. Oh, it's so lovely. Anyway, I've, I bought Ben this lovely case and it's not going to arrive in time. Well, I feel sad for you. So you've gone to Bezos. I might have to go to Bezos or TK Max, both are heinous. Oh, yeah, but TK Max, I don't know what's in there.

You're like, you could go in there, it could go in there. You're like, it's every fucking thing that I don't want in there. Yeah. And then the one thing I do want, not there. That's why I hate about TK. I have to have a real comfort. Like, I have to have a mantra when I'm in TK. Max of like, it's okay, it's going to be okay.

It's going to be okay. Just keep focus. Keep focus. Don't look at the rails. Don't look at the rails. Get in. Get out. Get out.

Get out. Get out. Get out. And the minute you're like drifting into the kind of other areas, you're like, get out. Yeah, I can appreciate that. It is like the most... It's the Hunger Games jungle... It's consumer hunger games. Yeah, yeah.

So the only thing that I ever think, if I ever really... And I know it's going to be in there is one of those massive size of a tree trunk, vanilla candles. And I've never wanted one of those. But they're always there. If you want one, they're there.

Get one. Just while we are on this subject, They are really good for suitcases. They've got fucking loads of them in every colour and they've all got four wheels. Okay, that is good to know then. That is good to know. Suitcases, four wheels, TK.K. Max.

Adult trunkeys, mate, all day long. Adult trunkeys mate, yeah. Kerry, who are we talking to? Oh, today we are talking to the fabulous Susie McCabe. Oh, I love this conversation. I enjoyed you two meeting each other for the first time on this one. It was delightful. It was really weird because we've known of each other

for such a long time. Yeah, you clearly really admired each other, but you'd never met. So it was really nice to witness you meeting each other. It's just like sit back, relax and listening to a great storyteller. Yeah, I really enjoyed this episode. Yeah, so this is me and Jane chatting to the wonderful Susie McCabe. You've never met Jen.

No, I was just saying that's Kate. Joel's like, how do you know Susie? Jane, Susie. Oh, thanks, Kerry. Fucking love God, boom in there. What a fucking, what an intro. Yeah, just shut it down. I mean, I do know Susie's name, Kerry, thank you.

No, but it's like a cocktail party, isn't it? Jen, do you know Susie? Susie, do you know Jen? No, but I know. I'm like a hostess. Fucking hell. It's because I've known of Susie for years. And also, like, through word of mouth, of everyone going,

have you met Susan McCabe? She's really fucking funny. You've really love her. Dada, da, da. I'm like, we've just literally never met. Never met. And there's absolutely no reason why. It's just...

I know, and you know, last year, you were in Belfast doing a gig, I was in Belfast doing a solo show. You were doing a solo show. Why didn't you? I didn't know until the next day until I went to socials. I was like, what are the chances? You should admit.

What was I doing in Belfast? And also, who's not looking at what's on in Belfast to go, let's just put the lesbians in Belfast at that? Let's split the lesbian audience. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. It's a testament. It is. It's a testament.

to how fucking good we are. We split the lesbians in Belfast. Yeah. Otherwise, you'd have had a lot of disappointed lesbians, the ones that didn't get into one or another. Do you know what? There would have been lesbians going, why are they both on on the same fucking night?

Imagine if we ended the Good Friday Agreement by just both in the same something at the same time. I've got that power. I know the lesbian influence is strong. I've got that power. I can just put on up one of the football tops that I've got. from half the size of Glasgow. I'll divide those lesbians like that.

No bother. It's not even the sectarianism we have to worry about in Belfast. It's the lesbians. Fact. Don't fucking split the lesbians. Huh? Why doesn't that ever make the news?

What lesbians in Belfast? What about you? I think you'll find them right into the cock now. Thanks very much for that accent. Yeah, my gag reflex has been. brought down to zero. Susie, it's really lovely to meet you, albeit we

still haven't properly met. Yes. I think one day we'll be allowed on the same bill together. It probably would be a lesgig. It would be, do you know what? It would need to be a fundraiser. It's a lesbian fundraiser 100%. For dental dams.

That's what it would be. We're raising money for dental dams for women all around the world. Hashtag HV awareness. Can we get that gig organised? Oh shit. everything's falling apart can we get that gig in the diary guys

I'm so open to booking this it's so funny imagine didn't I meet you at one of your first sort of early or your first London gig that gig at the Albert Hall my first London gig I shared a green room with Kerry Godleman

who you like that is when the second series of afterlife I think had just finished wait a second so your first gig in London was the Royal I feel like that was... That's a funny way it started, you started quite...

The next one was Kings Cross, which is where my parents always said I would have ended up, so, you know, you know what I mean? It was funny, because when you just casually said to me, this is the first gig I've ever done in London, I was like, oh my God, but then it actually transpired you had been gigging very successfully all over the place

that just happened to be your first London gig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't do that thing that a lot of Scottish comedians do when they kind of, right, that's me three months, going to go to London as if it's this kind of Dick Whittington paradise for comedy. It very much isn't. Absolutely not. And I was still working.

You know, I was in my first marriage and I was still working and I had a good job. I had a really good job. And I was like, I'm not going to chase the London thing. And I kind of made a decision to build myself up in Scotland. I'm incredibly fortunate that Glasgow punters back their own. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And we do. We do. And Scottish people generally do that as well. So I think I made a good decision trying to not go to London and just kind of build myself up and get a reputation in Scotland.

I mean, you say that Scottish audiences support their own and I guess they do, but also not a few shit. Oh, no. I mean, like they support people that they love and that are really good and that they're worth celebrating. And, you know, you are also exceptional. comedian. So you have this, you know, it comes with a sense of pride, I think, for Scottish people that they're like, she's ours. Yes. We own, we own a bit of her. She belongs to us. Whatever happens, you can't have her. She's ours. Aye. It's the Conley, Bridges, Boyo, Andy Murray thing. You know what I mean? No, they're yours. No, no, no, no. Listen, there's only six million of us. We gave you them. Do you what I mean? Yeah. Never. mind tarmacaddle, never mind penicillin. We gave you comedians and a tennis player, so just relax.

You have to remind English people about penicillin because they do forget and the telephone. It's incredible. A tarmac. I mean, the list is endless, but we'll only remember Billy Connolly. Yeah, that'll probably be the biggest. Billy Connoe. That'll be it. John Logan Bird and Billy Connolly. So let's go back. Let's go back, Susie, before. before we go forward any further,

and let's go to your first photograph. Which picture would you like us to go to first? Anyone you want. Anyone you want. Well, there's some lovely pictures of you. Are these with your nan? Yeah. Oh, this one of you, when you're little,

with your nan wearing a tabard? Yeah. Oh, I love a lady in a tabard. Tell us about that picture. So, my nana, who I'm actually sitting in front of her picture just now, I lost my nana in 2016. My nana actually died the night before the breaks. vote before we went to voting Brexit

I used to have a joke on my nana just went on you know what I live through Hitler and I live through Thatcher I'm no living through Boris Johnson very Very wise I'm out, I'm out Completely bad

Man checking out A lot of people checked out in 2016 Yeah for a lot of exits Yeah I haven't I haven't checked back in if I'm honest No fuck it no What's the point

Exactly So my nana and I were really close and I was named after other we were 30 years difference and I was 36 when I lost her so I was incredibly lucky to have her for that length of time. Yeah. And I would spend

every weekend with my Nana we would build Lego, we would talk and she was the least judgmental person in the world and my Nana lost them. She lost six kids and then she had Charles and my mother and Charles was killed by a coal lorry. The guy

was dropping off coal to the pub and had four or five pints as you did back in the 50s. Oh my God. And he was killed and my grandfather was a wonderful grandfather but he was a terrible husband and father as most men were at that point in time. And she

had a battle axe of a mother. She was the only woman or the only daughter of a family. Our parents divorced in 1936. She was 16. Yeah. That was rare. And Catholic. Oh my God. God.

That's unheard of. So the only time my grandmother ever went to Edinburgh was the day that she had to go to the court of session in Edinburgh to bear witness to the divorce. That's the only thing. She never went back to Edinburgh. And they were poor, right? They were poor.

But she was always, you know, didn't matter how poor you are, you can always afford soap, right? That's cleanliness is next to godliness, right? You know that? Yeah. That kind of thing. And she was never,

bitter and she was never angry and she was the most placid, kind woman and I done her eulogy at her funeral and one of my last lines was everything that's good in us is because of you because she took the time

and she nurtured and she cherished and you know she wasn't one for affection she wasn't openly affectionate until her much older years but you knew you were loved. Does that make sense? Totally. She didn't need to tell you that she loved you, but you knew you were loved. And when I was 17 and when I came out, I told my parents I was gay

and I left the house 20 minutes later. And I went to a phone box at the bottom of the street because I was homeless. Oh, C-D. Yeah, I was standing with a bag and the clothes I was standing in a 60 pence. and at the bottom of our road was a phone box, my pure retro, and I put some coins in, I phone my Nana and I went,

Nana, I've been kicked out of the house, and my Nana went, right, well, just jump a taxi and come here. Now, that would have been back then, 1997, 20, 25 quid on a black hack. Wow. Yeah. And I got, she was just, just up you come. So I pitch up and a taxi and she's standing at the tenement close,

you know a Glasgow tournament and she went over paid the driver took me almost sitting upstairs and then I've realised that I now need to come out to her right and I'm like oh shit so she had no idea

why you've been kicked out of home why I've been kicked out of the house oh god because it was literally so stressful I sat my parents down and I went listen I'm gay and they were like

oh right and they're like well you can stay in the house or you can be gay like that was the option. So I was like, oh, right, okay, so obviously I didn't he stay in the house. And it was weird because you think about all my mates from school and stuff like that. We were all pals and they'd be phoned in the house.

They'd be like, do you want to go to the pub for a pint of? They're like, Susan doesn't live here anymore. And he didn't have a mobile phone. So they didn't know where I was. They didn't know anything. And I arrive at my grands and we go upstairs and she's sitting in her seat and I mean, where I would always sit. And I was like, she went right, what's happened? And I was like, oh, geez, man.

It's like, I think it's, Nana, I'm gay. And she went, right, so what is it that they've put you out the house for? Now, my Nana's 77. More statues than the Vatican, right? All the wee Virgin Mary's that you can spin the head off of, right? Yeah, yeah. Jen, you will be familiar with this stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your mom and all that, right? Very Catholic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. and I say well it's because I'm gay and she went right so hold on if they put you out because you're gay and I was like yeah and she was like right

and honestly she was quiet for about 30 seconds and she just went does this being gay mean you can't put a kettle on oh what a brilliant Nana what a wonderful woman so she was always there for me we had quite a terse kind of upbringing. My dad worked away from home a lot

because there was no real jobs in Scotland and it was the 80s you know, it was the kind of industrial heart was stripped out of Scotland so my dad was a spark and he had to go down to London mainly and do shop fitting. So we lived in a nice house and we lived in a decent area of a kind of

poor area if you know what I mean but we lived in a nice bit, a nice kind of suburb and then it was that thing where you go oh this is this is about keeping up with the Joneses and it was a house that was really quite unhappy and it was quite an unhappy childhood and then obviously I knew I was gafy in early age

and subsequently I think Nana did as well but I think it's that thing where the bond I have with that woman will be forever more and I've actually got that is some of her ashes and she got it in that colour because that's the colour of mine and my mamma's eyes

I've got the same eyes Oh that's gorgeous And that was like I got that three months after she had passed away And my wife said Look I'm going to give you this And it really helps my grief And now it's funny because she's on my Edinburgh poster

She's been on television She's been to Australia Do you know what I mean So it's like Yeah she's with you where you go totally and Nicola got it engraved in the inside and it says forever holding my hand which is just that's beautiful beautiful thing that is gorgeous yeah and it really helped with the grief and now it's like you know before you walk out of the kings or before you're going to

do a TV record or you're live at the Apollo you're like nah nah nah this is amazing you know this is amazing so it's a kind of with you yeah totally totally maybe it's maybe it's Mabelene is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup

and it became really personal for us. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes.

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Or your teacher mentions that thing I'm above. Need to pick me up. Snack back to reality with Tim's new cravable raps, available in Chipotle or ranch. Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Is there a photo to move on to next? No, do you know, I don't... So there's a photo there that you'll see me with the worst Bob in the world, right?

But that's when I worked in Delmonicas. Is it this one in the pub? Yeah, yeah. So I would say... Is that... Wait. Susie, hang on a second. That is not you.

That is. How old were you in this picture? 18. How old? 18. 18. Oh, you're still a baby. I know.

And what were you up to when you were a teenager then? So, pre-leaving the house, I was a stora. I was an indie music. I don't like see if you said to me, Susan, never ever smoke, never ever drink. I was like that. Oh, you said, no, I'm a way to smoke and drink, right? That was me. But I think we were a similar age.

I think everyone was getting on it. This is like the 90s, isn't it? You couldn't go for a point. You couldn't go out. The catchphrase of that time for me was what you do in here, the pubs are open. I mean, like that everyone was drinking and smoking. Totally, totally.

It's just that, you know, in Glasgow it starts when you're about 13, right? But, you know what I mean? Like, we train, we train our kids, you know? You start early, get the skills up early. We bottle of Mary down for your Christmas, pal. right. But yeah, I mean, so I think, you know, pre-leaving the house, I was very much an indie kid,

still an indie kid, but I would, I mean, I used to smoke loads, ah, hash and stuff like that. And then I got to 17, and I packed it in. As soon as I was living with my anana. When you moved in with your nan, yeah. Ah, yeah, I just packed it in. What, the smoking weed? Smoking wheat. Smoking wheat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, you know, I mean, it was in the 90s you could dabble in anything you wanted. and then I went and I got a job in a clothing shop called bankrupt clothing when I was living with Manana and a couple of the guys in it were gay and they were like, are you gay? I was like, well yes, but I don't really know what to do about it

and they were like, in you come. And one of their friends and one of their cousins worked behind the bar of Delmonicas in Glasgow and I turned 18 in the January and at the start of the February I got a job as a weekend glass collector because I was living with my gran and I needed two jobs. Yeah, yeah

And I went out into the gay scene The gay scene, being the gay scene And you know, like When you're in it And when you're older You can kind of go Oh, it's about this and it's about that But at that time when you don't know

Any other gay people Yeah That infrastructure And you know There's no internet You can't find your community Through the internet No

No, no Literally go to a woman's library People reading poetry I'm like Oh this can't just be lesbians this can he just be it? And I used to have a joke. So I talked about the perception

of how gay men were always killed off by AIDS, right? And in 1980s television. And then oranges are not the only fruit came on and I'm like, fucking here comes the boobs, right? No, it was not the boobs. It comes the boobs. Here come the boobs. There were no boobs.

And I'm like, oh, boobs and bush, boobs and bush. And then I get to the end of oranges is not the only fruit. And I'm like, fuck sake, I think I'd rather go up the disco and get the AIDS, man. This is terrible. Because you're just like, they're having a fucking wheel of that time, man. I'm going out with the boys. I can really hard relate to this. Like when I was trying to find women to sort of like be with that were lesbians,

it took me years to find my tribe. It really did. I think I was in my 30s before I did. And it was because you'd. People either looked livid. Like you'd walk into a bar and women would just look angry. You'd be like, Jesus Christ, I shouldn't be in here. You know, or it was like really intense and serious

and let's talk about our feelings. And I was like, can't we just like... Can't we just like get pissed and have a laugh? And then maybe I can get to fond of your tits at midnight. Is that too much to ask? Do you want to share a bag of chips? Yeah, exactly. It's always like...

And then if you get together with a girl by the end of the night, she's already talking about wanting to have kids and you're like, and she's kissing your eyelids and you're like, I don't know you. I don't know you well enough for this intensity. We've gone from first to fifth gear too fast. Honestly, it was like your second date, there used to be a running joke that your first date

you'd meet in a pub and the second date, you'd be the cat and dog home, right, adopting a fucking pet. I mean, it's not, it, that is like a trope, but it is so true. It's so true. Let's move on to your next photo, Susie, because we've, we've, I think we've only done two. So let's, what's the next one?

I want to, I want to kind of go to, and I don't know if this is the next picture, but you in front of the Celtic football club. That's a brilliant photo. Yeah, so there's, it's me and my wife that was on the 3rd of September last year. So we got married in the 3rd of September and our venue was actually around the corner from where my Nana was brought up and about a mile from where. where Nicola was brought up and it was called St Luke's and it's kind of bar and it's a, it's a venue and they do weddings in it and it was great.

But in the June I'd done stuff for pride for Celtic, my beloved Celtic football club, right? Oh my God, I adore them. I don't care if you're the Rangers fan, right? I don't care. Look at Celtic and that's it. And Celtic could see, though, when you're getting married and I told them and they went, listen, if you're only down the road, you two and your photographer, for jump up will give you access to the stadium for some pictures just the two of you.

And I was like that. Oh, wow. You joke. What? I stay a male and a half from Celtic Park right, so I can hear Celtic Park if it's like big, big game or whatever. And I was like, no way, this is amazing. And we sneaked away from our wedding for about half an hour, 45 minutes. But on that day, our wedding had been booked 18 months in advance.

The fixtures just came out in the end of the June. Rangers played Celtic at Ibrooks, right? I was like everybody's messaging going, mate, what time's the kickoff for your wedding

and I'm like, you're fine, you need to arrive at four weddings at five, they're like, I no bother and I'm like,

oh, Jesus, man. And I'll arrange your Celtic game in the day your wedding's no ideal because you need to stay sober for a start,

right? And then, and we went there. It was a test. You'd manifest it a test. 100%. That's love. 100%.

I'm all right. And Celtic 1. Celtic 101 now. And it's a quite funny. In Nicholas speech, Nicola was like, she's done this beautiful speech

and then she just turned and she went, she looked me straight at the eye and she just went, and this day really just belongs to one special person in my life and that's Kyle will go through a hashie because he had scored to go my house.

But that must have made you love her even more. I was that, fair, fair. Because people are like, oh, you know, you've got two great loves of your life, you know, Nicola and Celtic and I'm like no I was in that order so yeah we get access to Celtic Park with a kiss in the tunnel I was just it was it was

we were so fortunate so lucky nobody really gets to do that you know and it was just we're both big Celtic fans I'm a bit more fundamentalist but you know can you talk as so because there's another picture of your wedding here why is everyone wearing a bucket hat so we made our wedding and wear what you want wedding right Oh yeah, I didn't notice that. Yeah, that's great.

Everybody's in bucket hats. So we made our wedding a wear what you want wedding. And so some people, obviously, Scottish weddings, most guys wear kilts, right? Right. The full stuff. Yeah. If guys have got kilts, they'll put them on for their corporates or whatever.

We said, where would you want? It was the 3rd of September. The schools had been back three weeks. People had been in holiday. We were like, do not be spending money in an outfit. I won't. You haunt my wedding. rather than you wear

a nice dress, right? Just wear what you want. So it was a wear what you want but the exception was a bucket hat. So everybody came in bucket hats. It was genuinely, I mean, there was a few dodgy Celtic ones and a few dodgy Rangers ones, right?

But it was amazing. And Nicola was like, why don't we get everyone to wear a bucket hat? Because that's so you. That's so you. And I was like... That's so 90s. I've never left.

So 90s. I'm just steaming in 96. 97 man it was peak McCabe It was a great time It was So we We done that

And you know what Everyone absolutely embraced it And there was people with dresses And like all done up With her hair and everything like that And then a bucket hat Because a bucket hat Makes everything ridiculous right

It is a very humbling garment A bucket hat 100% And it was that kind of This is the vibe for our wedding So we didn't do a sit down meal we'd done a big massive buffet in the venue

the venue is beautiful because it's an old church we had got them to I was like how much is a pint and they were like four quid and I was like

that's fine because I don't want people come to a wedding and paying a fortune I just want you to come and have a party with us because we're fun we're a fun couple

so because it was the old kind of church that's had the balcony upstairs and then we had 10 tables of 10 downstairs and then it was just a big massive stage with the old kind of organ backdrop

and the DJ was in the pool pit the DJ was in the pool pit he had his bucket hat on our first song was the Fratellis version of a yes sir I can boogie which is a you can boogie all night long that's it right which is always like a big anthem

for the Scotland national team right that's the yes sir I can boogie so we went for the Fratellis version which is incredible. And then our second dance was you got the love by Florence and the machine. And then it just, and then it was, everyone was like,

that music you're waiting because we literally said to the DJ, that's it. So it was like Bob Seeger, old time rock and roll, was the sixth song after that, you know? Yeah, just keep that floor full all night. Just keep it going. And it was absolutely dynamite. It was amazing.

When did you two meet? So we actually met at a gig, so we knew the same people. So she was, like nothing happened she was with someone she was sitting in the front row and it was actually a fundraiser

for my mate who had died which was the whole reason I get into comedy it was a fundraiser for Maggie's cancer care and she was front row with her girlfriend and I was the host

and that was fine and then every now and then she'd send me a wee message on Twitter or something we talk about the football blah blah blah and then a year and a half later

I bumped into her and I was like, oh, how's your, who's your my season? She was like, oh, yeah, we split up. And I was like, all right, she's like, how's your wife? And I was like, oh, yeah, me yeah, split up. And she was like, oh. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And then we just kind of like, we'd meet for a dog walk

and we do stuff like that. And then we just kind of spent time together and mentioned what, but we kind of really like each other. I was like, I really like you. And I really like you, but I don't want to ruin a friendship and, you know, you're out of marriage and a very long. long-term relationship and blah blah blah and I was like I you know but how are you going to go and feel

because if I see you going a date I don't know how happy I'll be about that that's the barometer yeah I was like I don't know I don't want you to be with anyone else don't want you talking to me about somebody that you're chatting to you online no it's not that type of friendship I'm putting in the groundwork yet and she was like well to be fair you know because I've been doing like a see a French preview in the stand or something like that.

And she came down and a girl who gave me her number after it and she was like, I was ready to punch her on the face. I feel like that's a good barometer. Yeah, exactly. Those are the feelings that are the clues. Susie, what two last photos I'd really love to talk to you about. The first one you've got is you and Jarvis. Great picture.

Firstly, I fucking love this photograph. What's going on? Was this at a gig? Yeah, so actually on my wall, I'll send you a picture of it, right? I'll send you a picture. On my wall, there is a signed pulp lp, a wristband, a pass, and a plectrum. Jarvis's plaque. Right.

And I was hosting Edinburgh Hugminne in Princess Street Gardens. So I'm doing like gigs in the 27th or like 28th, and we were off the 30th and Nicola came through, we were staying in a hotel and 31st. So you go down and do your sound check and all that and that's amazing. And you're in your week and a compound and Jarvis is just right across from me. And that day we had been up Princess Street and out of HMV and I'd got

the different class album now. I've got the album on CD, I've got it to my phone Mike so one of my mates for school bought me for my 16th birthday and I've still get that CD and I was like, I can't, I can't believe it's pulp I can I believe it's pulp, I cannot believe it's pulp right, like oh my God, like a soundtrack so you've got 10,000 people in the gardens

and then on Princess Street you've got about 45,000 people the full length of the street and there's TV screens every 500 yards, massive screens and then down at Waverly Station just along from the gardens they had another stage there

and stuff going on. Now, what normally happens is only the people in the gardens get to see the headliner, right? Because the headliner goes, oh no, it's only people in the gardens because they've paid the money. Pulp went,

hey, get it to everybody. Don't care. As long as everybody's a good time. So they get blasted through the TV screens because normally what would happen is they're there for. Everybody sees everything. up to the headliner and then

everyone sees a new year and then the headliner comes back on and then people kind of disperse but no not this year Jarvis and that were like yeah no I just let everybody watch it obviously oh wow couldn't love that man anymore what legends and they done calming people and at one

point during common people they brought out two pipers two pipers came out of the stage with pipes to common people right their place went bananas like absolute full-blowing bananas

and after it we were in the compound and Alan one of the organisers who used to work at assembly Alan was like give me an album and then shouted me out

and Nicola was like she absolutely loves you and I promise you she won't sell this this will be framed and put in our house and he signed it and made a chat and he was just

everything you wanted and needed him to be just honestly honestly what a guy, but what an ex- like if you had told 14-year-old little closeted lesbian stoner, you're going to do a job one day when you get to talk and meet Jarvis Cocker. I'd have been like, I'm guessing it was rubbish, do you know what I mean? Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay.

Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit BestWestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Okay, well we've got a video. We've got a video here from Billy Connolly. Talk to us about this video. So at the Glasgow Comedy Festival, they give out an award, and it's called the Spirit of Glasgow Award.

And what happens is there's a panel of kind of great and the good of Scottish comedy, not really suck it like people like Elaine C. Smith and all that. And people that have written iconic Scottish sitcoms, people like Greg Hemphill, write, stuff like that. and you get a nomination out of six and they do a massive gala at the end of the Comedy Festival and the six people who are nominated, they're all there and they get announced

that it was me, which meant the world to me. And then they turn you around and Billy had done a video. There was a couple of things he said and he went, this is a message for Susie McCabe so first of all Billy Conley said your name right so I'm a I'm a wreck he's like I watched your stuff

in the television and I actually laughed out loud and then tells you your joke that you laughed at like it oh wow and then you know he goes you do that wonderful Glasgow thing you've got that Glasgow humour thing where you just lecture your audience right

and I was like aye aye yeah that's fucking funny me. And now, bear in mind the king, steeros packed to the rafters for this afternoon gala, right?

Packed. And he's like, ah, and you made me laugh and you made me this and he's a wee dog jumps up. Oh, the wee dog wants a bit of attention, right? And he was just Billy. And at the end of it, he said,

Susie, you're brilliant. He went, keep doing it for women and keep doing it for the lesbians. And I was like, this man this man is the hippie socialist lefty that he's always been

do you know what I mean and I was just my heart was like jumping out my chest Billy Conley they let me use that video as well I've got a quote from him on my fringe poster and I'm just like

he said oh Susie you blew me sideways with your comedy and that is someone who listened to the records who can recite the crucifixion who can recite the incontinence pants who can still watch an audience with Billy and still have tears running down my face for the comedy

is just and I've read all these books and my heart swells and listen and see like I swear to God controversial as this may sound see when Billy Conley dies Scotland will go into mourning more than what they did when a monarch died right I swear to God oh for sure

yeah that's proper national national mourning for Scotland and he is he's an incredible ambassador for this city and I I love Glasgow I know it's good it's false and I know that there's wops and all but I love Glasgow

and I love Scotland and I love the people and he really epitomises everything that's great in this city and I just what an honour so I've got his award up there actually we can go a wee I got the tattoo

oh wow oh Susie you've got a Billy Connolly tattoo You right, that is it. So that's Billy's own self-portrait that he done and gave it to the award that you get, the Glass Award. So it's a real eye. And as I showed you as earlier before we came on, although I've got a wee mural of all the different Billy Connoes

through the years. Yeah, I just absolutely adore the man. So the fact that he saved my name, he knew my name. And of course, what team does Billy support? The class goes Celtics, right? As does Kevin Frankie meet. It's almost like we're funnier. We made it a little bit easier to love them, wouldn't it?

Tell us when your show is? When is your show? So it's Studio 3 up at George Square Gardens at Assembly, and it's 745. We've put on extra daytime shows on the Saturdays. And also that venue has got an accessibility lift. so if you have got access issues because the fringe is not really the place.

And then you're going to tour it? I'll do it in the autumn. I'm just going to do a wee small kind of Scottish one, kind of bigger rooms in Scotland because I'll be writing a show for Glasgow again next year, you know. So if people want to see you, have you got a website, they can find that way of your place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Susie McCabe.com, you can just jump on there.

I'm on Insta, Susie McCabe comedy. I'm not on the X or the Twitter. No, me neither. Fuck that. It's a bit fire, man. in Facebook if you're like over 40. And you can listen to Susie with Christopher MacArthur Boyd and Frankie Boyle. Here comes the guillotine.

And you can get that wherever you. It's a riot. Listen, don't expect structure. It's really good. Don't expect it's really good. I have to say, it's actually one of my favorites. Oh, thanks, me. And I really, really enjoy it.

And also, don't, don't listen to it if you're easily offended or can't take a joke. Susie, it's so lovely to meet you properly. Thanks so much for... Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, bye-bye. Bye-bye.

I'm going to play tennis now with Frank. I'm going. I've got that. You play tennis? Yeah. Well, not, I mean, not to any standard, but, you know, it's a school holiday. But you can hit it. I know what I'm doing.

I've got a racket. But it's just cool holidays, isn't it? So we find ourselves, this is the love language of parenting. I'm now playing tennis. Yeah. So. Yep, yep. We're going camping today and you know how much I love camping. So that's my love language.

Talk me through what gear, what gear have you got? What do you mean? Camping gear, camping gear, babe. You know I've got all the gear. Have I got any of your gear? Because oftentimes I end up picking up a bit of it. Chloe is insistent that you've got some of our gear. I don't know.

Some of those blue plates. Because we haven't got any. I've got four. I've always had four. I've never not had four. Well, then I don't know. I don't know. I haven't got my van anymore.

My brother's got my van. So I can't even. Have you given your van away? I've given it to my brother for the summer, so we'll see. Oh, you've given it away. I kind of have, yeah, for now. You have. You look pleased.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. You've offloaded in a burden. I'm torn about the van because I was like going to sell it and then we went to Glastonbury and I was like, I do like it. I do like it. I loved all the noises it makes. I love it.

Yeah, it's loud. It's lots of different noises. Yeah, it's loud. Really loud. Some noises that I didn't expect to come out of a van. But anyway, we're going. Okay, you're going camping. Where are you going?

Could have been me. Sussex, we're just going to Sussex Way. How long four? Three nights. We're going with a bunch of us. There's a gang of us. Oh, you're going in one of your gangs, aren't you? You've got so many gangs.

It's the same gang, Kerry. It's not a different gang. It's always the same gang. You always go, oh, really. I'm quite jealous of this gang. It's just the same gang. And all our kids are the same age, they go. We've got bicycles on the back.

There's a huge amount of space for the kids to cycle. Sounds idyllic. And have their own space and not be near us. And they feel like they've got their own freedom. Sounds idyllic, Jen. It is idyllic for them. It is very, it's very idyllic for them. It's a practical logistical nightmare that actually I don't know why I'm taking any responsibility for.

Because as we all know, Chloe has done the entire 100%. of the mental and physical and logistical load. You haven't done anything. All you have to turn up is sit in a camping chair and not break anyone's glasses. That's your brief. I've got to stick the stuff in the car. I've got to sit. That's Tetris.

And then I've got to unpack the car and put the tent up and all of that. I can be practical. Not very often, admittedly. Not my strong suit. But I will be there. And this we're putting up a 10. What a low bar. I will be there.

I will be there. I will be there standing next to my partner. You'll bring the lulls. Yeah. I'll bring the good times. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast.

What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do? Yeah. Yesterday. I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word.

What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts, every Sunday. Monday.