Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E39: Rachel Fairburn

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

"The day my grandad died...I was like I've got a really weird feeling... I think during that day had I picked up on something?" This week we have the brilliant and hilarious @rachelfairburn on the pod!  So much fun having Rachel on, talking about her grandparents, the afterlife, watching scary movies as a kid and so much more! Rachel is on tour next year and tickets are on sale now and you can follow the link in her bio - @rachelfairburn We also have @kerryagodliman announcing her new tour (next year), the nosedive of a Trump election win and Kerry's upcoming merch... TABARDS! PHOTO 1: Little Witch PHOTO 2: Grandma PHOTO 3: The bight lights of Camden PHOTO 4: Friends PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Gift sets from Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way and more are going fast. Get full-sized favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together.

Ben said to me the other day, when you talk about, because I talk a lot about, about it. the next chapter and I'm like going up the Andes I'm going to go to Machu Picchu when I talk about these things he's like can I come like maybe oh we'll see we'll see mate you're so when you're talking about it you're talking about it in a singular way it would appear I will be I will be I can't wait until I it's obviously the next chapter of my life yeah it's obviously some kind of kind of protection mechanism for what is coming for me, which is empty nest. Like the kids are sort of, you know, getting ready to leave home and stuff, especially else.

Yeah. So I'm like, right, well, by then, I've got plans. I'm going up matcha pichu. You've got matcha pichu. You don't need your kids anymore. I don't need this anymore, mate. I'm going out matcha pichu. And then Ben's like, when you say you're going up matcha pichu, you always do talk in the singular.

Yeah. Maybe you're also protecting yourself as well. Maybe it's like, what if? I don't need you, lot. Bet, yeah. What if Ben decides he's going to, you know, just play the bass and read books and not speak to me? And write books. That's all he wants to do now.

And write books. You, doesn't matter. You've got plans. Yeah, I'm like, whatever. Whatever. You've got, you've got yaks and altitude sickness. You don't need. Yes.

I'm pretty sure there's no yaks up in the Machu Picchu. But I'm going to places where there's yaks. Llamas. Yeah. Oh, well, then you've got to go to the Himalayas, actually. Okay, I'm going there. Yeah, you've got to go there. Yeah.

So that would be Everest Base Camp for you. you. I could totally, you would so enjoy just walking uphill for a week. You'd love it. There would be no point where you'd question your life choices doing that. You would be right up your street. I'd love it. My friend's doing it now. She's doing a charity hike in the Himalayas. She's posting about it online. I'm like obsessing. I'm like, that looks great. I want to do that. Do you? She got a train from Delhi up to I don't know, Catmandu or whatever. Not Catmandu. From Delhi? Why wouldn't you fly into No, where do I mean? You don't fly to the pool.

You get the train up there, I think. I think you can fly. But I think... She got the train from Delhi. She got the train. Actually, to be fair, I got the train through to... What the fuck are you talking about?

Because I just feel like things have moved on. So Catmandu's got an airport now in my head. But I imagine it can't have an airport because it's in the mountains. So that would be mental. No, you've got to get a train. You're absolutely right. You've got to get a train.

Anyway, why? What? Anyway, you went to Australia and back in under a week. My carbon footprint. I actually think that, yeah, that's not good, is it? That's really, after everything that we know about the environment, I flew to Australia to do a gig, like an absolute asshole. I mean, Cole Play wouldn't have done that.

Yeah, I mean, Colplay would have totally done that. No, they wouldn't. How are they getting around? Are they going, what, do you think Chris Martin's flying by, Is he going by boat? He made a massive statement about their carbon footprint. They're not gigging in the same way. They travel in different ways.

They've urged other bands to make similar choices. That's why I said I didn't randomly pull it out my ass. There was a reason. I didn't think he pulled it out of your ass, but I do think Chris Martin, he doesn't get on an airplane anymore. Well, he does, but they make different choices. Oh, he's making different choices, what, like food?

What, he just doesn't have, it doesn't drink on the flight or something? I'm just I'm just I'm being willfully facetious about what I just love to know whilst you're on an aeroplane you're thinking well I've made different choices so that's well you've made the choice now you've defecated on the planet no I've had to plant 50 trees that's what I've done that's expensive yeah you've got to go and pay you've got to you've got to figure out what your mileage is and then there's a a website where you go to and then you go and plant I said I'll plant it's a plant as a lot as many trees as it is as it is, where did you do that? Fuck me is expensive. I'll send you the link. I don't know.

I don't know. Oh man. You really have to shape shift shift when you woke, don't you? There's so much to take on. Oh my God. And also I thought a couple of trees, what's that, 20 quid?

When I saw the price, I was like, fuck me. That's almost the cost of the flight. Maybe don't go, babe. Yeah, I think what I've learned is don't, I mean, basically, even as I was doing it, I realized what this whole endeavor was for me.

was like a massive ego. Somebody had said to me, Jen, we want you to come to Australia. And I was like, what, me? And they were like, yeah. And I went, oh, okay. And then halfway through, I was like, oh, I shouldn't have done this.

I think I allowed someone to blow smoke up my pipe and now. I'm a stand-up comedian. I mean, are we really, I can't believe that you like having smoke blown up your ass, Jen Bristair. Of course I do. I'm that bell end. Okay, so what have we learned, Jen?

What have we learned? What about my personality? Yeah. Let's say this is a growth project. Okay. Well, what have I learned? What would we change? What would we change?

I would probably, firstly, I ought to say, and I don't want to poo-poo the event that I did, which was beautiful, by the way. It was comedy in the vines, absolutely outstanding. just if you can imagine. There might be any vines less though when the planet's fucked. But go on, of course not. What did we learn? We learned that, listen,

sometimes things that sound good for you are bad for the planet and maybe say no to them. Yeah, that's what we learned. There we go. That's lovely. But, but, and there's no but, so that's at full stop.

End of point. So we've ended on that point and now we're creating a new point. Okay, so this is separate to that point, okay? have you ever flown business class? Okay, talk us through. I don't know what. I just can't.

Firstly, I didn't really understand business class. So I spent the whole time doing everything wrong and people go, no, you don't have to do that, your business class. I was like, oh, okay, like queuing in the wrong place. Didn't realize about the fast track to get through security. Didn't realize there was a lounge. Didn't realize, yeah, all of that stuff. Anyway, by the time I get on the airport, I just think I didn't know people were traveling

like this. You've been corrupted. You've been corrupt. I don't know who you are anymore. It's like you've become a different part. You're like, that's it now. What do you mean? I mean, you've gone through the magic.

I've gone through the looking glass. You've gone through the looking glass. You've seen at the, I've seen what's through the looking. You're not going back. Well, I am going back. I don't know if you've seen because of a business class. Sure, you never go on it unless someone else is paying.

And they feed you. They're constantly coming over going, would you like a thing? you what's it and you're like oh I'd love a Badoo do Badoo. Yeah. And they're all right thing you bought me thank you. I don't need your stuff. I did not stop eating. Did not stop eating. I had breakfast and then I had breakfast again. I said I've had breakfast. They were like, would you like another breakfast? I thought yeah, sure, I'll have another breakfast.

Because I had a breakfast. You went into peasant mode. You went into peasant mode. I went for peasant. This is what happens when you let peasants in the elite areas. They're like, oh, I should have worn the coat with the big pockets. The flight, totally. The flight attendant was like, you're really enjoying your yourself on this flight, aren't you? And I went, yeah, yeah. This is what happens when they let peasants on. And also you get picked up and taken home. So when I got to Heathrow, there was a bloke there going, all right, I'll drive you home. And I was like, oh my God, this is out of this world. This is out of this world. Yeah, you'd think if it, if I wasn't so excited, I'd probably sleep.

I did. I mean, at first, the excitement was, was, was, was, was too much for me. Yeah. I couldn't believe. Looking around my seat going, trying to get eye contact. Can you believe we're doing this? Can you believe we're doing this? Is this guy? stretched out and we're in the sky mate mate mate wake up my blankets fur lined what what sort of thing what are you drinking i'm having a i'm having a i'm having a glass of champagne you're not having champagne why aren't you having champagne people in business class don't get eye contact with you there were people with kids on the business class fight i was like those kids who are those kids couldn't believe it i was like you've you've actually this is a really bad thing to do

for your children you should never ever know and fly no they shouldn't ever turn left they've got to turn right every single time and they get only turn left when they're 49 years of age and they've been offered a job that they should say no to but they said yes to that's the point yeah yeah you can't give a nine-year-old business class what the fuck what a waste that shit no and anyway they can sleep standing up those guys yeah just prop them up I would say to the kids it's unfortunate that you're in economy but mommy and mama have to be in business we'll pop in and see you later. Yes.

Here's your iPad. Here's your cheerio. Yeah. See you in 22 hours. Bye. See you in 22 hours. What have you been doing? What have I been doing?

I have been doing a bit of crafting. I have been. I'm wintering now. I'm wintering. Yeah. Are you in the winter season? So I'm going on tour and it's all going on sale today, actually, this week. It's all going on sale.

So, yeah, I'm going on tour. It's all in. You can go on my website or you can go on the internet. internet and you can buy tickets. The show is called Bandwit and I'm touring next spring. I can't believe it, Jen. I can't believe I'm so excited for you. I know how much you like touring.

Kerry, this is so exciting. I feel very grounded. Look, I tell you what you're doing because in the summer, you're gardening. Yeah. Yeah? I like this time. It's my birthday time week. Birthday extravaganza.

No, not like, don't go bananas, but it's a week of like that sort. vibe. Because last year was the big one, as you know, because it's coming up for you. Yeah. Coming up for me. Big Vivo.

Wow. Which I'm absolutely fine with. It's going to be fine. There's no regrets. Honestly, it's, you'll have a nice time. I will. And what it gives you... Oh yeah.

It's an extra... It just gives you a bit of a sense of like a reflection and then you see the people that want to be there and you feel kind of like, oh, I'm glad we did this because it's like a review. view of things. It's nice. Okay, who are we talking to today, Jen? Kerry, we are speaking to the fantastically wonderful

Rachel Fairburn of all-killer-fame. She came along to talk to us about spooky stuff. She loves spooky stuff. I was going to say, her love of all things creepy and spooky, which I can kind of relate to. Yeah. I don't go quite as dark as Rachel. She likes dark. But in the sweetest, so sweet. about dark shit.

Oh, she can sell it. I'm like it, I'm in. She's brilliant, go and see her. She's going on tour in February. And fabulous on the podcast. She told us some very funny stories. She was an absolute delight. So here she is the wonderful Rachel Fairburn.

Do we put these on? I was like I'm landing a plane. Do you know what I mean? On the headphones. We haven't been bothering with those, haven't we? Oh, that's all right. No, but I like the idea of Rachel landing a phone. Or, who is it, Ramesh said he always like he's doing a charity.

record. Oh yeah. Feed the world. I wish I could do like a charity record. Do you? Yeah, just not to actual singing but to be in the video.

Like when I was a kid and they had those videos for like charity records and you'd see loads of celebrities singing en masse. I thought, wow, I want to be that. I can't sing but I just want to be in the video. Not that we do videos.

Have you seen that documentary about the American one? No. Oh, it's meant to be really good. I haven't seen it. Oh, right. Anyway, I just only don't. I thought you might have.

What's the American one? Not feed the world. No, it goes, we are the world. We are the children. We are the ones to make a better word to let's not give. It's not as good as the British one. I like it. I don't know.

The documentary has been, I can't speak. Oh my. The documentary. The documentary is meant to be brilliant. Okay. Because that's like proper famous people. Yeah, megastars. Why is it?

Oh, that's got a richie vibe, isn't it? Is your All-Killer and No, that's about music, isn't it? No, it's about serial killers, you absolutely nut job? Oh my God. Is it about music? That's what we were saying about albums. There is a Sun-Forty-1 album called All-Kill and O'Filler. And there was a while where Sun-Forty-1 fans were like, you've stolen that.

It's like, it's a saying, isn't it? I thought he was saying about albums. They say that about albums? I initially worked to call it Killer Queen. which I think was a better name and now there is a podcast called Killer Queens but you were the pioneers

because there's other ones about investigations and murders and things like that but your podcast with Kiri Kri Pritchard McCleman which you've been doing what for about 10 years? 10 years 10 years that's been

very weary But you've toured America with it Are we recorded Is this for the pod now? Yeah we're in it Yeah we've been in it for ages That was seamless We do a flaccid entry

That's what we're not I'm calling it that. I loved that. Do you know that? That was like covert podcasting I enjoyed that. It's like we liken it to those specials where people are like having a poo and then they just start. Yeah, yeah. And they're doing that.

Well, you know what I mean. They just walk on. Yeah, like dead. Like I know exactly what you mean when they just like they finish eating. They have a pizza and then they just walk on and go turn their house lights. I think I'm thinking of that Louis CK. Yeah, you're thinking of Louis CK. So, yeah, 10 and a bit years and it's, we did tour America.

We had a good time. You've just been. She's just been. Yeah, it's just been, yeah. But it isn't easy, is it? I mean, you're... I was going to say, did you feel this when you were there? How nicely were treated by the clubs and places.

Oh my God, they want you there. You know, sometimes you go to... You know, sometimes you go to gig here. It's like, oh, right, there's the cupboard that she greenroof. Yeah. Oh, right, well, we're going to leave it 15 minutes for the audience to get here. Yeah, well, you're going to miss your train now. You know that, and you're just like, all right, sorry.

Sorry, I'm born. You're like, I'm the entertainment. America, my God, they cannot do it. They are so thrilled to have you there. They are so thrilled. What are all doing here? We are so miserable. We're wasted.

We're wasted here. Anything, like, do you need anything? Do you want anything? Can we get you some food? Can we get a drink? Yeah, have you eaten? Enjoy the show. How was the show?

How you, everything, like, incredible. Sounds great. Because what we get is, oh, you fucking prick. What are you doing here? And like, I'm booked here to do this. Yeah. Sometimes you're sitting in a green room, you're like, I love a little glass of water.

I'd just love something to hydrate. Yeah. You know, just something to... It's a bit much. Yeah, but there's nothing. There's no... My rider is water. Just water, yeah.

I'd love a drink water. That might be on you, though, because sometimes when people say, do you want anything in your rider, and you go, no, I'm happy with a slice. No, I'll have a rider. I'll have a crust and I'll have a little bit of... I'll have toilet water.

Get it out of the system. I don't even need it out of the tap. I have whatever's left over from yesterday. Yeah. And then you get there and go and go and fucking stop. They go, well, we did ask if you wanted anything. And then everyone else is like, why didn't you ask for a sandwich and a banana? This champ is picking up speed.

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Conditions and exclusions apply. I assume this is your first photograph. Oh, it can be. Oh, no, are you younger in another one? No, I think that's the youngest. I didn't really put them in any way. I just, well, I just went for chronology. Let's go for that.

And you're a little witch. I'm a little witch, still am. Rachel, you're so cute. And also you so look like you. Oh, yeah, I still pretty much look the same as I do. You can see a picture of me as a kid and I still look the same. And were you a witch? As a child.

Yeah. I was very shy. But I was very naughty at home. I was a naughty child at home because I was a shy kid at school so when I got home I was naughty yeah but the witch is

because I loved Halloween I still do and I love anything spooky anything creepy anything supernatural I've always been into it really do you know why or where that comes from

I think it's so I spent a lot of time my grandparents growing up and my granddad was I'd say a bit morbid he loved anything creepy same as me you know I'm like him

but he had this book and it was the Illustrated Police News. So you know, you see like the old Victorian, like, trashy newspaper with like Jack the Ripper and these sensational crime stories. Yeah. So we had this book called Aorable Murder, which I've still got the original copy of it. And it was yellow.

And on the front it had one of the drawings from the Illustrated Police News and it was a woman sort of kneeling down and a man putting a sword through her head. It's all very dramatic. And how were you when I was probably about five or six? That's quite disturbing, isn't it? Well, but inside there was all like, These, obviously it was too young to read it, but I just used to look at the pictures. So it would be things like a child stolen by a gorilla and, you know,

bride found, a skeleton bride found after something. You know, you know, these mad, and half of them were made up and some of them were true, you know, child thrown into a fire or children found down well. Yes, by being a jaw. They'd have all these mad sort of drawings. And I was obsessed with it. And I just used to sit there and look at it and just go through it and carry it around with it. And my grandma was like, but you'd take that book off her.

And he's like, you know, she's enjoying it. She's really interested in it. She's happy. And then I was completely engrossed in it. And throughout me, I still look at it now because I've still got the original copy that was my granddad's. But then it was everything. I'd be interested in like ghosts and ghost stories and anything.

But I'm scared to death of everything. Right. So I didn't sort of protect you. No, no, no, no, no. It made me worse. I frightened. I remember being like... Do you like to scare yourself?

Yeah, I love it. I can't do anything lighthearted. I can't. watching. Like if there's a nice film, I can't sit down. I'm like, oh, let's watch this romantic.

I'm like, I'm not interested. I have to have, I want blood. I want gore. I want. And even though I'm so squeamish as well, I sit there going, like, I want blood and guts.

I want terror. And you've always, and that's right from when you were a kid. Yeah. And you think it might because of your granddad. I think it might be because of granddad. Now imagine if someone just turned into this now, thinking, oh my God, what happened?

It was a lovely manmy granddad. May I stress that. But the other thing was. My dad, when I was about, probably about four or five, he'd got a video from the video shop. I mean, this is going back now, in it. And Porky's video, that's what it was called. And it rented Poltergeist. Yeah.

So he had rented it. And I remember, I was, my cousin lived with us as well. So we were both off school. I think she was ill, like with measles, but I had to be off as well. You know, that kind of thing. And you were how old? About, I reckon four. What?

Maybe four or five, something like that. Oh my God, that's so young to be watching Poltergeist. Yeah, but well, well, so he was always thinking, like, oh, we've got to get this back to the video shop, but I've got to wash these two. So I close the curtains and watch the fall asleep, you know. We didn't. We were like, it was the afternoon. We were like, and my mum came home from work. She went, well, the bloody, how are you doing?

I can't believe you letting him watch that film. I was traumatised. Yes. I'm not surprised. But my dad was like, oh, I just thought, I thought they'd go to sleep. So, which we didn't. And you didn't sleep again. And then I should have brought the other picture because for months afterwards,

I kept mentioning it. And I did a drawing and it's like this horrific drawing of this creature with eyes coming out of its head. And I said to my mum, I said, oh, my mum went, oh, what's that your drawing? I went, it's Paltsegeist. You were traumatised, mate. Yeah, and then I wouldn't go to bed on my own for years.

And I did, eventually. And then what happened? Bloody Ghost Watch was showing. Do you remember Ghost Watch, the Halloween thing? That went on and I watched that and I remember being so frightened. I was like, well, back to square one now. And I was too old really at that point to have been that frightened by it, but you scared the living daylights out of me.

But you'd already been traumatised at four, twice. Twice, yeah. Oh, man. So that's always led you to the spooky? Oh, yeah. But I love it. I get that. Yeah, and it's funny because none of my family are interested in anything.

My mum is just like, oh, God, here she is right. But it's good to have a hobby, isn't it? She finds it hilarious because I'm scared to death of everything, whereas my mummy's like 10 men, she's not frightened of anything. Right. Because I'll go out and I will be more frightened of, you know, instead of going out onto the street and thinking, oh, what if a bad man kidnapped me or something?

I'm like, oh God, what if there's a ghost? Like that's... So is it ghosts for you? It's ghosts. And even when I know that everything's fine, I'm still frightened. Have you ever seen a ghost? No. But do you...

I don't know if they exist. I've had a spooky experience, but I... What was that? Well, When, because I'll get on to my grandparents a bit, because I lived with my, sorry. I lived from my grandparents sort of growing up. Not for any sort of, you know, dramatic reason.

I think it's quite common in working class families to spend a lot of time with your grandparents if they're still knocking about, you know. And I just thought they were great. And you lived local anyway. Yeah, yeah. They lived around the corner from us. So I used to spend all my time with grandparents.

But when my grandma, so the day my granddad died, I had a really, the first thing, had a really weird sort of feeling. and like he was like he was old like he was 90 odd and he wasn't at his best but he was like you know still with it and anyway it was like he was the best of

on his last day that he was alive it was like he was giving the best you know he's doing all these little jokes he's got a bloody second window you know kind of thing and I went out in the afternoon and my mum picked me up and I was like I've got a really weird feeling

I can't express what it is I feel like something's going to happen I feel like someone's going to get married or there's going to be big event and I just don't know what it is. It's like, I can't, and mum's like, oh, right, okay. Anyway, my granddad, I got, oh, my granddad had died. But quite suddenly, like, you know.

Yeah. But you had an instinct for it. But I just felt, so I don't know. They say there's a touch of the psychic in everyone. You probably just had a connection. Well, that's what I think. I think during that day, had I picked up on something that we don't really pick up on anymore.

Yeah. And, like, you know, and then when my grandma died, this, see, this was a weird experience. So the day before a funeral, and this, the, This is a bit, Macal. The funeral parlour that she was in was across the road from the house. It was right opposite our house. And she'd gone in about two years before and paid for her own funeral. She wasn't ill.

She was just like... But that sort of thing, my friend's mum, had all the food frozen up and ready to go in the freezer. Yeah, for a good two years, batched up. And she was like, Mom, what's all this? Sausage rolls and volvant. She's like, that's for my funeral. Oh, my God. Save you the bother.

See, that's what my grandma was like. She was like, I'm going to pay for it. I look just leave me a bit I want it done dust it I'm not having a purpose funeral I'm like what you want about you anyway I didn't go and sit because I have no interest in going to see people in funeral piles or anything like that yeah not for me

and the night before her funeral we were sat in the living room me and my mum watching EastEnders and the washing machine just started going and I was like this is mum did you put a washing machine on she's like no I said well you know I didn't and there's only us two in here

but this is the time that my grandma was usually done the washing and the doorbell went and there was nobody there so it's creepy right and my mum who believes in nothing to do with supernatural she went well i will admit it was a bit weird but you know who knows what it was maybe we both hallucinated it i was like well but then i think maybe we did maybe we were so upset and so stressed for the next day maybe i don't know it manifests in a weird way so they're the only spooky things that i've experienced but doesn't mean say i believe in ghosts necessarily But then on the other side of it, my grandma, again, who used to laugh at me for being scared of everything, she said, if there is an afterlife, when I die, I'm going to come back and put the washing machine on.

Well, but what she threatened to. Is this your grand? That's my grander. What she threatened to do was, because she used to have really long, glamorous nails. She'd say, what I'll do is I'll come back. And when your feet are just poking out of the bed, I'll grab them. Because she knows that would scare the crap out of you. I have to have my feet covered all the time in bed out.

But I know, and Pammy thinks if there is enough, if she could do that, she would come back and she would do that. She would, because she'd find it hilarious. Absolutely. So I'm always like, that's why I kind of don't believe in it. Because she would have. Because she would have, yeah. Where are you with your grand in that?

I think we've got the same grand. Do you reckon? Yeah, my grand. She really looks like my grand. She's got such a lovely face. So lovely. She was so lovely. It was, that's in Cornwall.

Yeah. It's a priest's cove in, in, home wall and it's we used to go every year and my grandma uh used to come with there'd be me my mum my dad my sister my grandma my granddad never went on holiday why well i put this down now i think back because he was a soul it was in the army in world war too because my mum's the youngest to six right so they when they had my mum they were in i think they're early 40s so they were old for parents and they were old for grandparents as well you know what But I think when my granddad, with hindsight, when I think back, I think it was obviously, you know, these men that were in World War II, they probably had PTSD that was never sort of.

My granddad, we took my granddad once camping to France and he spent the whole holiday in his pyjamas digging up trenches around the tent. Really? Oh, no, that's so sad. I mean, he was a POW and, I mean, definitely. Towards the end of his life, he'd watched the world at war. I just don't think a lot of that generation left. No, well, this is what I mean? So he wouldn't, I'd never seen him outside of sort of the local area.

Like he never really went outside of Manchester. The furthest he'd go was to the city centre. It just made him Manxas. Yeah, I think there was definitely something there. I think maybe, because he'd been away from home and away from sort of his two children. But I remember him saying that he'd come back and my auntie and my uncle. the older two, were scared of him because they didn't know him.

They didn't know him. Those are just such sad stories, aren't they? Yeah, but he just wouldn't go anywhere. And like, he wouldn't go to Carmore with us. He just was like, no, obviously, you go on your holiday. What did he do when you were all away? Well, he did, because he loved my grandma so much. He'd do, he'd attempt to decorate the house, but he was such a lovely guy,

but he had no sort of talent for decorating. So he'd come back and often the house, the living room had been decorated, but badly. But she'd be like, oh, that God. in the bloody wall, so he'd do all that kind of. And, you know, we'd ring him every day and he'd be asking what have you been up to.

We'd send him to a postcard, and then we'd be really excited to see him. And every time we came back, he'd be like, oh, what time you were back? And he'd always have, like, a roast dinner ready. Oh. Didn't matter what time. That's lovely.

He'd have the roast dinner ready. It didn't matter what... It could have been a Wednesday that we came back. That's what we had when we came back. And I still try and go, I mean, I've not been for a couple of years, but I used to go every year to Cornwall. It's just nice... It's gorgeous, cool.

It's so beautiful. It really is. And I just know on that picture that I'm hating every second of being in the sea. Whereas my grand... She looks like she's ever in a lot of time. Oh my God, she'd be like, right, come on, we're doing this. She's such a dress. My grand used to wear dresses like that.

I think she made that dress, actually. I love her dress. Yeah. When my granddad died, I was sort of in my early 20s. I sort of, and I love spending time with my grand as well, you know, so when he died, I was with her all the time, you know, living with her and stuff. And there'd be days where I'd just, she'd be like, oh, go on, go out and have Fun, will you? Yeah, go on.

Okay. And then I'd worry about it so much. And then some nights when I just couldn't be bothered going out, she'd go, oh, tell him I'm not well, stay in. You know, that kind of thing? So you've got a bit codependent with each other. Yeah, but she, I could, sometimes I'm like, because I'm quite, I'm not as sort of tolerant as they were, certainly my grandma for people and company.

And sometimes I'm saying, oh, my boyfriend's talking. Or someone's, I'm like, you shut my hook. and I just think how did my grandma cope with people in the house all the time coming out, you know, chatting away all the rest of it. But yeah, it must have,

it would have driven me insane. Your next picture, I think, is you at Camden Tube Station, you look like a little, you got your Noasis T-shirt. I look like Jimmy Carr, that's what I look like. Let's be really, I look like Jimmy Carr, and I'm aware of that fact. How are you?

A little string bean, Rachel. I know. But also, I look about, I think I must have been about 12 there. 12.30. Came down for an Oasis gig? No, I was just obsessed with, I'd never been to London. So, and I was obsessed with sort of the Brit pop kind of thing. So our little sort of break wasn't Cornwall that year, I think.

Oh, we went to Cornwall later in the year. It was the summer. It was boiling up, but I still had my little jacket on. We went, there was me, mum, dad, my grandma and my sister. We went to London for the weekend. Oh my God, it was so hot. I just remember it being so warm. But because I was obsessed with Brit Pop,

and Camden at the time was so cool, you know. And I was like, oh, great, we get to get to Camden Market. And also, it's mad. There's graffiti on the underground there. You don't really have that anymore. No. That's weird. You don't, do you?

No, you don't. I think it's the cameras. And there's, I don't know, it was just such a good holiday. I enjoyed it so much. but that is when I mean a huge oasis fan still got that t-shirt what did you think of London when you came down as a Manchester girl I thought it was brilliant and I want to live in London

I think it's great and because I've not been to college or university so I've never moved away from Manchester it took me until just seven years ago to move to London and what I've realised now is as much as I do like London what I wanted to do is live in London in the way that people who live in Hampstead live in London Yeah, you wanted a Richard Curtis landing. Yeah, I didn't.

I was like, because I went for a wander around Hampstead a few months ago. And I was like, I went to visit a Graveyard actually, one of my hobbies. And I... There's a famous one there. Is it a highgate? It's a highgate. That's a highgate. But there was another one in Hampstead that I'd never been to, I thought.

Is it one of the big seven? It's not. You just reminded me there. Do you know who I saw? So in the houses of parliament, my friend works there. He works for Hansard, you know, taking the notes for the... Oh, right. when they're chatting.

You know what I mean. He took me on a tour around Parliament and there's a crypt in... In the House of Commons? The House of Commons. Yes. Like in the... Look, I can't remember which a bit.

But the point was, right? He took me on this tour and we went all around and he said, oh, there's this... You know, go through this door, there's a crypt. And we went in and... Dave Courtney, the gangster was in there. What? What?

What was he doing there? Well, I don't know. It was just... It was a few years ago. He's just mooching about And I was with some people And I went all right And he went outside

And we went for a drink in the bar In the houses of Parliament And he goes Was that Dave Courtney, the gangster? I went, yeah, it was so weird What? That must have been very bizarre So weird

Yeah So weird I mean the last person you're at best That's kind of thing that happens in London Yeah That's true actually Yeah You could run into anyone

I saw Pierce Brosnan in a pub There you go Yeah I lived in London my entire life. I don't think I've ever. I've seen the Queen. What?

Did you? Yeah, outside National Gallery. Her car, do you remember before it was pedestrianised? The cars could drive past the National Gallery. I was coming outside of the National Gallery. There was a crossing there. And the car stopped in front of me waiting. No, just in the queue of little traffic.

The bloody Queen inside the car. I was looking at her like that. That's the Queen. I think I said that out loud and she went, she's pretended to not to see me. But I mean, you have a queen. It was. I did that. Hey, look, there's the queen.

Look, there's the queen. It's like when I met Paloma Faith. I went, you're Paloma Faith. She went, I know. Is that what she said? I know. I mean, yeah, I mean, like, imagine going up to someone and telling them who they are. I didn't know what else to say, you're a Paloma Faith.

She was like, yeah, I do know that. Yeah, that's who I am. I remember when I was about 17 or 18 and me and my friend, you know when you drink in your local area, that's where you, me and my mate Lee Travers, we were like, let's go up Camden. When you say Lee Travers, I thought of daily travel. Not Dave Lee Travis. We were like, let's go up Camden and I borrowed my mum's leopard skin. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Because I was going up in Camden. Nice. I was like, I know where I'm going, mate. I'm going to all them punk pubs. You know, all the, like the Dublin Castle and all those parts of there. Oh, I just thought I was the dog's bollocks. I remember walking up the road in my leopard skin coat to meet my mate Lee Travis. And as I approached her, she went, who have you come as?

Crushed. Oh, no. Totally crushed. Oh no. But we did have a good time. You do feel, and I grew up in West London, so I was like, I was in London, but there was still a sense of like, I'm going up Camden. No, Camden's different. It was special.

Yeah, I thought it was really cool. And it's interesting because Manchester people, Mancunians, are very proud of where they're from. So you're quite a rare creature to be like, I want to go down there for London. Oh, yeah. I mean, I love Manchester, but there was just always something about London that I really, because I love history and all. I mean, I'm not in the Manchester, not got history, but there's just something about it that I always, you know. You just wanted. I just wanted to be part of it.

Like Paddington Bear? Well, absolutely like Paddington Bear. And also, maybe it's reading all those illustrated police news things when I was a kid. Yeah, like, this is where all the people got called. Look at these tunnels. Day two, Jack the Ripper Tour. Yeah, come on. London is spooky.

It is spooky. Yeah. I did a ghost tour of London. That was fun. I went to go on the ghost tour on Halloween a couple of years ago in Edinburgh, on a bus. Is that spooky? Broke down. Emotionally?

Mechanically. Mechanically. So we're waiting to get on the bus to go on this ghost tour. We're excited all day. It's like 10 o'clock out. We're like, oh, can't wait for this. Should have been a walking one.

A lot of them are walking ones. In Edinburgh, yeah. But the actor that was, you know, the... The actor. He was like, we're ever so sorry. The bus has broken down. It's really hard to be those guys. He was going, you will get an email.

Have a refund. Like, all right, fair play for saying. As if this wasn't undignified enough, now you've got to do a refund. and procedure going. And he started like doing this, but dragging his leg behind him as well. I did really commit.

Shut it down, mate. Just come out of character. Just tell us down. Really sorry, everybody. Yeah, just do it like that. But I kind of admired him for doing that. Did you do the one, the tour with the city underneath Edinburgh?

Yes, do you know, I went this show. That was, I loved it. Have you done it? No. Oh my God. Next time you go to Edinburgh, because, you know, Edinburgh is built on another town. They built on top of it after the plague.

rather than... So that's old town and new town? But not old town, new town, but as in underground town and overground town. What? Like Atlantis? Okay, sure. It's just a city underneath a city but you can go... Like Atlantic. Yeah, but there's an entity. It's under the scene. Like Pompeii, like Pompeii.

Sure, okay. Like all of them. Like all of them, but none of those. Anyway, you can do a tour and then there's a room, isn't there, where a ghost lives? Yes. With all the toys in it. Oh my God. It sounds great.

It's haunted by a little kid And so many people have seen this little kid And so they go down And they leave a little cuddly toy for the little kid And there's the... I've done loads of Edinburgh I don't know anything about this one There was a witch's coffin in there as well

But like a modern one A modern coven A modern coven Modern coven Modern coven It's horrible as well Because you think like... Stinks.

Oh the cow gate's bad enough There's something under that Yeah under Yeah under there Well probably about the same level Because you think cowgate's underneath It's under Think about the old days when they all used to live in it.

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Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. out for details. Where are we up soon? We're up to your last photograph, which is you. She's been a romp.

Tell us who's in this photo. This is my friend Caroline. But what it represents to me is friends. Yeah. But your friends outside of comedy to a degree. Real people. Yeah. Like your proper mates.

Do you know what I mean? Like, of course I've got friends in comedy. Yeah, sure. And of course, some of my best friends are in comedy. And, you know, I love lots of comedians. But it's good to keep your feet on the ground with real people. Just real, mates. Oh, my God, yeah.

Oh, my God, yeah. We met when we were 18 and we worked in a shoe shop. Which one? In a shoe shop. Revelle. Revelle. Oh, Revelle. I worked in office, yeah.

Oh, I love. Rivelle's gone? I mean, a while ago. I think it's still online, though, I think. Is it? Like, top shop. But Revelle, do you know, the sales they used to have were insane. So, like, you'd get like.

The shoes were awful, though. They fell apart. And they were made a plastic. I used to lie as well. I worked in Revelle in Ealing Broadway and they go, have a lot of this call to you in a size 5 and I go, just go and have a look because the women's stop was upstairs. And I'd be like, and I'd just like hide behind the curtain.

And then come back out and go, no, we haven't got those. We haven't got them in a four or a six either. It was horrible because like on a Saturday, it gets so horribly busy. And it was about as big as in here. Oh, Saturday working in retail. It's awful. Naina Cherry, Buffalo stance, triggers me up bad.

because they used to play Healing Broadway This is exactly DJ Who's there Buffalo on the show I'm like Fuck fuck fuck

We haven't got a size 4 or 5 or 6 This is exactly what I was going to say Like For some reason The soundtrack to the Destiny's Child film That was one piece of music But this one Saturday

It was so busy And it was dead art And it was dead busy And for some reason It must have been on for about 25 minutes What I'd got stuck Was it the Charlie's Angels

soundtrack? No it was the beginning to wire up MCA just like do, do, do, do, and no one thought to stop it.

Nobody thought to stop. For how long? It's 25, 30 minutes. Oh no, no. 25, 30 minutes and it was just going. And you couldn't do anything because you're serving customers. And I was serving customers.

And I was Caroline. It was there and I was like, mate, this has been on for Twitter. And I've never seen anyone laugh so hard. I can get almost killed her. But we've stayed friends for all that time. But also, what I love about her is,

she is, that friend who has seen all your shit gigs, Yeah. She's come to the shit gigs and she still is enthusiastic. I love that picture as well because she'd come to like some gig that I was doing at, you know, in the Bill Murray book they had the upstairs room and you could only, I think I was doing a preview and there's about five people in and she was one of them. But she walked in and she had a baby on board badge on.

Oh, yeah. And I went, and she went, oh, I was going to tell you in a bit. No way, that's brilliant. That is classic. Yeah. And she's like just those mates that you have that are funnier than any comedian, you know, like my mate,

I call him Brill Phil, who is, I worked with him in the library. He's one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. He will have me crying, laughing within like 30 seconds of seeing him. And he just, he makes me laugh so much and he's just so,

and I don't know, there's just something about those mates that you've had for years that, you know, you might not see each other for a couple of years. Yeah. But as soon as you meet back up, be like, yeah, just start when you left off.

Yeah, let's have a good old laugh, you know. Thank you for your pictures. Thanks, mate. Do you know, I've enjoyed it? It's really good funness. Of course, he's nice, isn't it? Yeah. It's just, because we don't see each other at gigs.

We just come here and have a catch-up. Have a nice chat. Chat and look at people's photographs. Yeah. I was listening to the Marcus Bird one, Birdman one before. That's a nice episode. Oh, yeah, it was lovely having Marcus. He's a lovely chat.

He is lovely. He is lovely with him. Years ago. We had to explain Jim. Saville to a woman who didn't know who he was. And if anyone's going to explain who Jimmy Saville was, you're the best person. But then we showed her a picture and she was like, yeah, of course. I mean, how we didn't know.

Rachel, before you go, we have to ask you about your tour. Oh, okay. And all things promo. So podcast, tour and anything else you want to talk to us about? Podcast. All killer, no filler. That's available wherever you listen to your podcast. There's many episodes to listen to.

don't listen to the first 10 because I think they crap. But there's a hundred and odd to listen to. There's loads. Yeah. I've got another podcast coming out with Paul McCaffrey called Gladrags. I don't know if it will be out by the time. What's it about?

It's about your perfect night out. Because Paul doesn't drink anymore. No, doesn't it? And I, on and off I do, but we both love a night out. So we like to live through other people now. Right. To find out what their perfect night out would be.

So that should be. be coming out soon, I hope. But I imagine if that is available, it's available wherever you get your podcast. What else? The tour, tour. Next February 2, April, I'll be on tour with my Edinburgh show from last year, Side Eye. Tickets are available from rachel fairburn.com.

Go see Rachel. She's brilliant. Thanks, you'll enjoy it. You'll have a great night out. Rachel Fairburn, thank you so much for joining us on Memory Lane. It's been really fun. We haven't we? Yeah, I hope so.

We've enjoyed it. We're a good crack, aren't we, Kerry? I think we are. Yeah. I think you are. Joel's like, yeah. I went for lunch to the House of Lords with Ian and Aisha. That was delightful.

You've got to do that next time. We've got to. I want to. It's just I was flying out to Australia the next day. The stress of it all was too much. Oh, way too much. Oh, my God. As venues go, what a venue.

I mean, beautiful. Can we do it again? Oh, I really hope so. Come on the group and say, can we do this again in the new year? January is good for me, by the way. Okay, well, let's do it. I'm around January. When they serve Aeusha, they call her My Lady.

What would you like, my lady? Oh, would you like some water, my lady? Fuck me. What did they call you? They didn't even give me eye contact. They're no eye contact. That's fair of pay. I mean, I'm not anyone.

She's my lady. Did they mistake you for the help? Because that's sometimes happens. No, I had a chair. Sorry, could you go into the kitchen? But there was etiquette of like, because I declined to put my coat. When I arrived, it's all quite formal,

and I didn't put my coat on the proper peg, which is like nursery school pegs. I was like, oh, I should have ladybirds and camel pictures and stuff on the pegs. And I said, oh, no, thank you, because I had a blazer and I thought I was going to keep it on. Anyway, when we got sat down for food, I took my coat off and thought,

I'll put it on my chair and they were like, absolutely not. I'll take your coat. You absolutely can't do that. Yeah, yeah. What do they do? Just put it up on a ladybird peg for you? Yeah, they took it off and put it on a ladybird. But it's just such an amazing building.

And like the architecture and the windows and the arts. And the history and everything. It's just like extraordinary. And then walking around with Aisha and people pass her and they're like, hello my lady. Hello my lady. She's like, oh, hi, Gary. I mean, I can't remember.

Yeah. But it was, it was, there weren't any Gary's there, let's face it. But it was. There might have been. There was no Gary's in the house. of Lords. In the House of Parliament. Yeah.

Oh, specifically, you didn't go into the House of Commons. Well, where the green carpets are the Commons and the red carpets, the Lord. So it's all kind of mingle, mangled. But we didn't go into the chambers. We just had lunch. But it was really... They're tiny in the chamber. It's absolutely tiny.

When you go and you're like, oh, I thought it was massive. It's like really small, which is probably why most people can't get a seat. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's very nice. Very grand. Very grand. Really, really beautiful. Like, when I...

When I look back on my life, and I write my memoirs, that would be a key moment for me. I'd be like, I was in the chambers of top decision making. Power, power, power. Power, power. Yeah, and I had a lovely beetroot and mushroom pie. Well, that was actually the information that was missing from everything that you'd said. It's really good.

In a week where the politics, global politics has taken, let's call it a nosedive, it was quite nice. I mean, let's drill it. What can we say about that? The divers, literally, they're fracking. That's how bad the dive is. It doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel real.

And you go, I can't actually absorb this information. And it's only really now, and I don't know how it's been like, whatever, 10 days later or two weeks later, that I'm beginning to, I can see, oh, my days. Holy. Because now he's appointing all the people that he wants to be in his cabinet. You're like, what, that guy? What that, some of them, licks offender? Yeah. That conspiracy theory is not job.

That literally looks like he got him from like a casting catalogue of pantomime villains. Oh, the guy with the tattoos all over his chest. No, the one with the like eyebrow. Oh, the triangular head. The triangular head. The one that literally looks like if you were casting a science fiction film and you said, who should we put in the part of that terrifying arch villain, let's get him. Right.

Yeah. Let's get him. I feel like there's going to be points where we. I'm going to have to unplug completely from social media. Oh, 100 cent. I can't get this. I can't have a 24-hour news cycle of these fucking nut jobs. You will never be able to plant enough trees to make you calm down.

I can't. There's not enough trees in the world I can plant to offset whatever the hell is going to happen in the next four years. The panic attack. Yeah, yeah. It's very, very bad. On the bright side, Kerry. And I think it's always important because we've done the negative. We've done the yang.

Now it's time to turn to the. Oh, mate, this is why I've been sewing. This is why I've been sewing. Yeah, this is what we've got to do. Embroidery. Embroider your way out of existential despair. I don't, you know how I feel about sewing. I'm not good at it.

Yeah, I know, but if you... It creates a great deal of tension for me. But if you find that you can't cope, do you want to see what I've been doing? Do you want to do something that I find incredibly frustrating and makes me absolutely livid? This is what happens when you can't deal with the US election result. Wow. That is... Oh, my days.

Kerry, that's very impressive. That's very impressive. Who are you? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who I am. It would appear that I'm Jane Asher now. I like it. I like it. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with it. I'm just going to sew myself into it. I'm going to sew myself. So yourself into it. Literally stitch myself into it into it like a cocoon. Sew it like a have like a, what's it called? What dinner ladies used to wear? Tabard. That's it.

Put it onto a tabard. I love a tabard, mate. I wore a tabard on Taskmaster Champion of Champions. I rock a tabard. I'm the tabard on Derek. I'm the, I am the ambassador of tabard. Have you still got it? Yeah.

Well, whip that out on the tour. I might wear that on the tour. I might let that my tour outfit. You know, everyone's got a tour outfit. I'm a work, mate. There's a lot of sea queens out there. I've noticed there's a lot of female comedians. ingredients in sequins. You and I have not embraced a sequence. We have never embraced that.

But you have always embraced a bit of animal print and I think the tabard and the animal print together really brings something that's very unique to you and your brand, Kerry. You're right. Your brand. And then here's next up. Wait for it. Okay. You weren't expecting this. You weren't expecting this, but here it is. I can't wait. You are going to have merch. You're going to have merch. What? And it's going to be tabard merch. Tabard. Get yourself a tabard. You can have an online shop. you're going to have an online shop with a tabard or some sort of apron or gardening equipment

and it's going to have all of this stuff on it and they can shop for it online you can bring a bit of it on tour with you people you can sign it you can make a little bit of extra income if you're feeling like you wanted to donate that income to a charity carry you could do that if you felt guilty about merch as I do

we're bringing the tabard back you brought it back you've brought it's brung it's brang bring brong brung bring brung bring it I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday?

I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just. asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What Did You Do Yesterday?

Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.