Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S03 E42: Virginia Gay

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

"Colin From Accounts might go down as some of the best work I've ever done... Play that scene on a loop at my funeral" This week we have the brilliant actress Virginia Gay on the pod! What an absolute blast chatting to her about her childhood, her adaptation of Cats (aged 5) and learning to love her adult body. Virginia's adaptation of Cyrano starts this week at Park Theatre London with tickets on sale now. Tickets - https://purchase.parktheatre.co.uk/EventAvailability?WebEventId=cyrano We also have Kerry and Jeny talking about staying in an Ibis, giving feedback, pilates and trying not to sound sarcastic. Kerry's tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728 PHOTO 1: Covered in mud PHOTO 2: Cats (age 5) PHOTO 3: Living in England PHOTO 4: Rueben Kaye PHOTO 5: Adelaide Cabaret Festival artistic director PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a run! This champ is picking up speed. But they found a lane. Monumental into the air! Absolutely incredible! Air Transat! Fly the seven-time world's best leisure airline champions, Air Transat. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track!

Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, work. around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. And welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about.

To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. I don't open my window. I'm stuck in a really farty smelling room in an ibis in Leeds. Well, stop farting. I know, but I mean, I can't. I can't.

You can't stop farting in your own. Well, then don't complain about it. It's your farts. What's the matter with you? Yeah, I know, but there is a lot. Like, I am a bunch of cells and gas trapped in a room that I can't let the window out. I can't open the window. So I just feel like I'm in a spaceship.

Open the door. Go on. Do it out. Because then if I open the door, I just, that's the door open onto a hotel corridor. Anyone can walk in. Anyone, Jen.

Yeah, but just a little bit of air. Just let it out. Just get the towel and start washing it out of the door. It's not just about the fart. I don't want it to just seem about farts. It's about air. I just feel like I'm in a tupperware box. And the lid,

I feel like I'm in a massive ibis tupelware box. I've moved on. moved on in my life. I don't stay in ibises. I've gone back. Well, you say you don't. And now here I am. And now I know why. I feel like this is a nice little opportunity to me reflect, to reflect on life and choices. Yeah. Yeah. And here I am in an ibis. And I'm like, oh, you can I remember ibis? I don't, I mean, I don't feel like I'm passed out ibis. I still find myself in an ibis. I mean, I'm deluded. I think, I think at any time someone goes, will pay for the hotel, you're in an ibis.

Yeah, 100%. If they say to you, we'll pay for a hotel, part of me goes, I should just go, can I ask, is it the travel lodge off the M62? Because if it is, I don't want to be there. Yeah. You have to, you have to... Yeah, you need to express yourself.

We're all a step away from an ibis travel lodge. And by the way... Well, I'm not a step away, babe. I'm in an ibis. I'm not a step away. I'm a step in. I actually think an ibis is all right. It's actually all right.

Do you know what? It is completely fine. I actually prefer it to a premiere. because it knows what it is and it isn't deluded. It isn't deluded. Premier Inn thinks it's something else. It isn't. Premiering is like, oh, maybe I'm a Redmond,

Maybe I'm a Redis and Blue. No, you're fucking not. All I'm saying is I just wish I could open the window. That's it. That's my only pushback. Feedback as you leave. Just a bit of feedback before I go. We know that's not happening.

Well, it's important. You've got always feedback. They're going to ask you. There's going to be an email going to give us some feedback. I've got to a point in my life now where I think feedback, I might as well dig a hole and speak into the ground. I sign petitions every other week, and it seems that the world is still collapsing.

So did they not get my emails? Yeah, I feel like the petitions aren't working. I wish you'd stop doing this. I think the petitions are definitely not working. In fact, I think they might be fueling the collapse of democracy. I feel like they're like, oh, if enough people sign this petition, we will talk about it in the House of Commons, will you? And then I'm like, oh, they're going to chat about it in the House of Comments

as if that is going to make the slightest fucking difference to anything. But I don't want, in saying this, want to discourage people from democracy. Yes, exactly, from being involved in your, from taking part in democracy. It's not just voting. It's not just voting once every four years. But just be realistic about the petitions. Yes, but also if you do feed back hotels. M-P windows.

Things can change in the future. Maybe not for you. This is too late for you, Kerry. You are sealed in a Tupperware box filled with your own farts. Yeah, but future generations don't need to put up with this. No, future generations don't because thanks to you and your feedback form. No, you're right. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to tell someone. I'll tell that woman downstairs in that tabard. Yeah, maybe not the... I mean, I don't know how much... She looks like she's got power. She's got power. Now, who are we talking to today, Jen? Kerry, this week we are talking to the theatre extraordinaire actor all the way from Australia.

We're talking to Virginia Gay. This was fabulous. This was a whole new world of cabaret and Australian theatre. You were very excited because you know a lot about Australia. I tell you what I really enjoyed about this particular episode is that I feel like this is the episode I would have really, I really needed to hear in my 20s. Hopefully there'll be another gen in her 20s that will get the benefit of this conversation with Virginia Gray. So is the Etima your background? Is it mostly the area you work in?

Yeah. I started in television to my astonishment. Again, like to my real, like straight out of drums. Yes, because I only, I know you from Colin from Account. So I came across you from telly. Holy moly. What fun. Colin from Accounts, I reckon might go down as some of the best work I've ever done.

Like truly play that, play that scene at a dinner party on a loop at my funeral. You know, like just go round and round and around. Your wedding. Exactly. Yeah, play my wedding at my funeral. Really screw with people. Also, am I allowed to swear on this podcast? As much as you like.

Fantastic. Because I got a filthy mouth, so I was holding it out. Great. Oh my God, it's too late for us. I mean, like there's literally, yeah, no holes barred in this podcast. Great. So, Virginia, you started, so you started in telly. Well, acting, because we've spoken to a few people who started in telly and then we were like,

oh, so you were acting? And they're like, oh, no, I was a runner. So how did you, what did you do? When we were at the end of drama school, it's called Wopper. Well, the one that I went to is called Wopper. That's so Australian. I assume that's an acronym, but it can't just be called Wopper. It is.

But imagine if I was just like, you know, I went to the Wopper for, I was a Wopper for a school for acting. It's very much not an acronym. Exactly, exactly. It's just a whopping. about. It's the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts. And so at the end of that time, as we were graduating, we were doing this film, this screen acting class. And they said, we're just going to, we're going to do a trial audition. All Saints is looking for a new character, which is our like one hour television medical drama. And so we sent off all of these audition

tapes as like a trial, like to see like what it was to do an audition. Like it was literally was set up as a mock audition. They sent them off and they said, of us, you will never hear of this ever again. Like, just put it off into the ether and never heard. And I got a call three days before Christmas. I went back in and I did. It was something like six rounds of auditions because I was complete unknown, complete unknown, different actors, different directors.

And then the, the, the, I got, then I got a three-year contract with Channel 7, which is like unheard of. And for me, like this thing about, like, my, my face, my body, like I'm nearly six foot tall. I've got these really strong features. And I was like, I'm made for theatre. I'm made for the gods. And that's what you wanted. That's what you were set on. That's what I, that's what I thought this was for. You know, that's what I thought this instrument was for. And so to go onto television was an incredible opportunity, absolutely, you know, set my career off in an extraordinary way. But I had some pretty extraordinary survivor guilt and imposter syndrome. I reckon for the first

18 months, I turned up every day. And I was like, today is the day. they will find me. Today is the day. That's such a thing. I feel like for women in particular, that whole imposter syndrome is so prevalent. Exactly that. I didn't have any internal sense of self-worth for, I would say actually until like my mid-30s. I didn't have any sense that actually I was good at this or I, even more important than that, that I had value separate from my work. that I had anything that was worthwhile in the world or that was worthy of love, all of that stuff. Like, it's just, I absolutely agree. I think those gremlins get in, they stay in, and even in work and even in a, like, an inverted commas version of fame. And we see it all the time with famous people

and with how prevalent addiction is and how prevalent numbing and, you know, self-sabotagey behavior is. The feeling that that gremlin is still in there, still driving the truck of your, life, but you've got even more and more armor and more external versions of yourself on top of it going like, yep, no, absolutely fine, everything's fine, everything's fine, everything's fine, why am I going into this pit again? Oh, God. Also, to get it straight out of college and you'd been with probably your mates in that cohort for that duration of that course and then you suddenly went solo. Gwen Solo. So, and your kind of like your struggle to them is going to fall, yeah, they're going to be like, oh, fucking hell.

Primer river, mate. You're on telly. This is exactly right. Exactly right. And I do, I absolutely also recognize the luck and the privilege of this star. I know, I know. We all know the gratitude. We've all got a meditation practice. You're all grateful.

Right. But you're still allowed to have feelings. Exactly. Exactly that. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for Breiton.

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Yes. So this picture is absolutely adorable. So cute. And also is reminiscent of my... When I look at this, I'm actually seeing my own children. Yes. At any given moment, I literally... Covered in shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Their own shit, their other shit. Oh, just some shit. Cat shit on the ground. Yeah, Tyler. And there's so much joy in this picture. Talk to me about who this little girl is.

I would love to. I would love to. Also, I would like to clarify that that is mud. I am not covered in my own shit. I mean, metaphorically, we all are, sure. But, like, literally, that is mud. Where did you grow? Western Australia, I'm assuming.

No, no, no. So I grew up in Sydney. Grew up in Sydney. I'm a Sydney girl born and bred. And I went to Western Australia for the school. Right. Yeah. I grew up in Sydney.

I grew up in, in Sydney. Summer Hill in Sydney, which is a beautiful little suburb. It was super super, super, like, there was one milk bar when my parents moved in with me in utero, and it has now become the kind of place where every single shop in a street is cafes or bougie home stores. And we've watched it gentrify around us. You wrote the gentrification way. What the fuck is this? Yeah, which is very lucky for my parents who bought, you know, a deceased estate for $12. And now, yeah, yeah. but it's a lovely place you know very warm very sunny um and yes super happy kid super joyful wanted to be loved wanted to be held one older sister who's 10 years older than me so

she was sort of big gap big gap um and so she was also kind of like a sort of like a parental figure rather than a sister sort of as it was um and also moved out when i was very young so it's sort of like an only child in a way essentially essentially we were not a beach family. They're like, it's, it was just a bit of travel to get to the beach. We were in the sort of suburbs and we were, both my parents are teachers. So I was a bookish kid. Like I loved, loved, loved reading.

I loved that world. And my parents loved to talk about writing and storytelling. And we went to the theatre a lot. Like that was a big part of my, my parents met doing student theatre at Sydney. At university. Yeah. And like they, you know, it was like student productions they put on like five or six, but it was like really important to them.

But they loved watching it. And so they took me a lot. So it just got into me really early. And did you express that quite early? Like you were like, I think acting is the thing. Yeah, I did. I also like I loved acting. I went to acting classes sort of, you know, sort of casual Saturday morning acting

classes. And then I got, I got into a like sort of performing arts high school, which was very exciting for me and very overwhelming. And it was there, I reckon that I started to learn body horror and I started to go, oh, this isn't, this isn't love interest. I was constantly the maiden aunt, the wacky best friend or the poorly adapted male role. That was like I was never, exactly, right? I only had a mop cap on at drama school.

You're just stuck me in a mop cap. Yes. I'm like, can't I play the lady? No, no, no. Get the apron on and shut up. The 50 year old publican and I'm like, I'm 12. All right. Come, I'm always.

Pick up the bucket, Kerry. Get the bucket. Pick up. All right. Always carrying a bucket. Casting's harsh. Always, isn't it? Cursing is harsh.

Well, for women, for girls, it's a lot of like, there's just, there's like two camps for girls. And if you're not one and there's hardly any room for any of us. So if you're not in one, you're in the other. Yeah. And if you're not the pretty posh. girl, then you're the character actor, let's say. Can I just go to this next picture? I don't know if this is the next picture, but this one here.

Yes. So this is a performance at a play. What's going on here? Yeah, actually what happened there was that I would say that it was one of my very first performances and also one of my very first, I'm going to say it, adaptations. I went to see cats at the age of five. What a weird play. Isn't it psycho?

It's absolutely. I took my mom to it. Halfway through, she was like, I don't know what's happening. Why are they all dancing around these cats? I went, Mom, it's cold cats. It's called cats. They are cats.

I got a friend who's in a production that toured, you know, from many, many months, and he calls it the Scratch and Sniff. And if you are ever on stage in cats and you don't know what to do, scratch, sniff. That's it. And that's how you do it.

Scratch and sniff. Good tip. So you're the adaptation. How old are you? Well, no, here's the thing. Okay. So I went to see cats. Five years old.

I went back to preschool the next day and I was like, listen to me. I have seen something that is going to, I mean, I was transformed, but I have seen something that is going to change all of our lives. And what we're going to do is put on the soundtrack and everybody's going to make a costume. Like it was a full, it was an instruction to go out to parents to make the cats costumes. And we are going to put on a version of cats. I also think you can see in that photo. I don't think I've remembered cats very well.

I mean, the iconic handing out cake scene in cats is not something that people remember. I mean, you were doing your thing. You were doing your touch. I was. I was using cats as a jumping off point, you know? I love the little ones behind you. How absolutely cute is all hell are these two behind you. They're so gorgeous.

They're talking. They look like they're having a ball. I hope they were. So weird, do you reckon this is? I mean, this is a real. It looks like the 1940s. It's not a retro vibe. I mean, I've had a lot of work done, but thank you for saying that it looks convincing.

It's got a sepia vibe and those kids, you know in those old like, Meet Me and St. Louis films where the kids show up, he's got that kind of energy. I would say, I would say it's 1986 or 1987. But you look like you're ready for a life in the theatre, hand on hip, ready, ready to go. You don't look five. You look 11. Here's the thing. And you look like I'm in charge.

Well, this is it. This is it. I was tall early, very tall. I went into, I reckon by the time I hit 12, 13, I was 5-8, 5-9. Again, with these features and with this voice too, which kind of, I know. 5-8 at that age. I know. Hand me the bucket, am I right?

Hand me the fucking bucket. Yeah, totally. Totally. that's tough because you're not being treated like an 11, 10 or 11 year old of that if you're 5'8 they're going to be treating you're like your 15, 16 or 18 or

Totally, totally But I think what I love about that photo too is again like she just She wanted it and she Made it happen Awesome, beautiful Again, what we do to get back to that person

I love that person I love that little girl covered in shit You know Yeah and also just the wonder of the exit like you were saying earlier. Just the escapism in storytelling. And if the world can be a bit tricky, let's all dress up as cats.

Let's all dress up as cats. Yeah. Like, why wouldn't we? I think that's the pool quote for this episode. Yeah, the real world is hard. Let's dress up as cats. Let's dress a cover and do the iconic cake scene. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, I think the feeling of like, you know how when you see cats and you go, this is an insane musical? It is insane. And you think, oh, I couldn't get more. more insane than that. Well, then the movie came out.

Rebel Wilson unzipped her cat skin, pulled it off. And also none of the cats had assholes. Remember when that was all just a big thing? We thought it couldn't get weirder. Do you remember their assholes were C-G-Ied out? Like the assholes were a part of the cat costumes. I remember hearing about that. Was that in the lockdown?

It got buried in the trauma. I think it did. Judy Dench was that. Everything just felt like a cheese dream and you're like, did I dream that? Or was there like a news story? about cats' arces. Cats, CGIs, assholes.

Everything got lost in vaccines and swabs. Yeah, yeah. I think we'll bring that back out again soon and relive that cheese dream. Let's move on to the next picture. Now, I've got a few here, so I'm going to ask you to lead us. So we've got this picture of you here. You've got a little hat on. Yes.

Yes, a little sweetheart, yeah. How old are you in that picture? I would say seven, eight, maybe. Seven and eight. Maybe. I was adorable. You look, look at those. Didn't we all have those sandals?

Oh, we absolutely did. Yes, I've still got those sandals. I was going to say now, now I'm very oldren. They're looking for a new pair of them. Yeah, saltwater, I think. Salt water, I think. Salt water, yes. And your hat and your posy.

My little hat. My little hat. And you're in a meadow. Where are you? I actually think I might be in England. We lived in England. When I was eight, we lived here for a year. My mother, both my parents are teachers.

My mother lectures in English literature. So she got a placement to do some research here in England. So we lived in Oxford for a year when I was eight. And we lived again in Cambridge for a year when I was 18 on my gap year. Okay. Yeah. So just. Do you remember any of that time of living in the UK?

Or is that quite a blur? No, pretty like pretty seminal, obviously. Because eight and then 18 are pretty. Yeah. So when you were eight, what did you do? Just go to the local school. Yeah. Yeah.

I went to a school in Oxford, made local British friends, went and picked apples in orchards. It does look. It just looks like you walked into a kind of English picture book. I'll tell you the real strong feeling I had from being there when I was eight, which is it is the sportiest I've ever felt in my entire life. Because we got into these, specifically into these little 25 metre British pools, hot, basically hot barbs. and I've like I'm not a sporty person but these shoulders are not just ornamental you know what I mean like they know what they are doing and pushing off from that wall and reaching the end of the 25 metre pool in like six strokes and being like oh my god I'm seeing with the greatest of love or British people all the undernourish bit or British kids doing doggy paddle essentially and sort of drowning yeah I'm going is it my job to save it? them it was the it was an extraordinary feeling yeah totally yeah i also think i included that because that i think was one of the sort of turning points i can feel in that photo i'm just starting to learn how

much i distrust my face and my body i can see i can feel the bigness of my nose i can feel this the the the fullness of my jaw and even though i um i i i i see myself in that field and i'm like oh, I love that little girl. I know that on the inside is growing this sense of like, not this body. I can't do it in this body. I can't do the whole world in this body. Oh, no.

And I think it really, in that, I will tell you, my friends, I was going to bring you some photos of me as a teenager. And I just couldn't. You couldn't. I couldn't, my friends. I just couldn't. Virginia, why?

Because when you? Because when you give something to the internet, Jen, it lives forever. And I have been in this world long enough to know, you know what? If they just don't exist in the internet, that's fine with me. You know, it's fine. So was adolescence tough? Because also, you know, as a queer woman, young woman, were you, when did you, were you out? teenager? Because I know I wasn't. No, I wasn't. I didn't really know. I didn't, I didn't have any

real connection with my body really and what my body wanted until my mid-20s. Like it was just a kind of null and void space. And I feel like, and actually I think the feeling, the strongest feeling, it wasn't even that I thought myself repulsive. I knew myself to be repulsive. I knew it. And I just wanted to save everybody from that. It was like, for me it was like an act of, I'll keep myself separate so you don't have to deal with this. Virginia, that's so sad. It's so awful.

Isn't it dreadful what we tell ourselves? Awful. In order to, in our mind, I suppose, protect yourself from rejection. Yeah, protect yourself from, or from any form of vulnerability, which is what you would need to make yourself in order to have a relationship. Exactly. Exactly. But I can kind of empathise a bit.

But I think, you know, when I was, that sort of self-loathing that comes from also being in the closet and having particular feelings about people that you go, God, if they even knew, they would be so disgusted. They'd run and they'd push me and they'd make it public. All of that, absolutely. What about like a mate? Like, did you have a sort of intimate close friend that you were sort of, that you shared this stuff with or you were totally alone with it?

Oh, well, I might. might throw to Jen here and say what I had was an intimate, I had a series of intimate close friends who I was of course like deeply in love with of all genders. I'm pan. I sleep with all of the genders. Like I think the feeling of going, oh, I'll get as close. I'll be everything for you as your best friend.

And I'll talk through all the crushes you have on other people. Absolutely great. Yeah, no, that's my role in life. Excellent. Yeah, cool. and I'll make you laugh and I'll make you feel really safe and well and happy. And I'll survive on that. That'll be the scraps that I live on.

Yeah. So a series of female best friends, a series of male best friends where I just was like, yeah, this is it. I can survive on this much air. The water's up to here. I can survive on this much air. And as long as I stay very, very still and I don't make the water. rapid or move it all. I won't choke to death. I won't drown. I'll just stay here breathing this tiny bit of air. But when did you find the language to express it and to understand it?

Until I reckon the unlearning of the self-hate started in my mid-20s. And then it has been my life's work to unlearn it. And I am so grateful for it. And I am so proud of myself. and I can't even tell you the sense of love and ease and joy and pride I have in my body and myself now. Because you've worked on that and learned to love yourself. It was a conscious thing. It was like I learnt shame and then I had to unlearn it. Do you remember what initiated that? Like when did you kind of make that shift?

What a good question. I mean, it came gradually through my 20s. there was something about, there was something about, God, it wasn't, it wasn't one thing. It was a feeling of being in the world, maybe of, of, of, maybe of not, you know, like, of not being fired, of not actually being rejected by people. I'm going, maybe the things that I've told myself are true this whole time are not true. Maybe, if I look at the data, if I look at actually what I'm doing now, if I'm, And the crazy thing is, if I look back at the data from my teenage years and from my 20s now, from the world and from the place that I live in now, I go, oh, fuck. Oh, my God, there was that time at the door.

Oh, that person. They were trying to lean in and they were trying to kiss me. And I went, good night. Oh, and cried in the bedroom. You know, like, I just didn't, my, I wasn't in connection with my body and therefore I couldn't be in connection with anybody else. You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly.

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Product availability varies by region. See app for details. This is such a gorgeous picture, by the way. This is... I'm so glad that this popped up. I'm so pleased. Yeah, well, apart from the thing else, I love the symmetry of both of you. This is such a beautiful picture of you and Ruben Kaye.

Yes. And I'd love to know... Yeah, icon, who I actually met for the first time at Just For Lafs. We worked together at Best of British. Oh, fantastic. Oh, he had a really good time there. He told me. Yeah, yeah.

So that's how I met, Reuben. But talk to me about your... your friendship. Yes, I absolutely well. So I have another job, another full-time job, which exists entirely in the different time zone while I'm doing Serena, which is as the artistic director of the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. I love Cabaret. Cabaret is a big part of my life too. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. So I did not know that you were the artistic director. So how long has that been for? So that's two years. And the Cabaret Festival is very small. It's got a tiny little footprint, but it is filled with heart. And this year, we awarded Ruben Kay, the Cabaret icon, because I think

what Ruben Kay is doing in the world is what cabaret is. It's what modern cabaret is. It also links back to its political roots. You know, the way he's incredible polemic, his incredible invective, his way of scuring society while also making you laugh, while also seeing the tits of things, while also turning you on and making you a bit confused

about how turned on you are. I'm like, that's cabaret. That's what I love. He's so beautiful. He's so beautiful. He's radiant, isn't it? I think what I would say about Rubin is like, I've never seen charisma.

like it. I agree. He's a charisma factory. Absolutely that. What you think you're going to get from Rubin is why it's probably more powerful because your expectations are completely shattered. Exactly. It's not going in the direction you think. Exactly. You think, oh, it might be, you know, like camp drag. It's not. And it's like, and, you know, and Cabaret has its roots in protest. It has its roots in oppression, in otherness, finding a way to flourish and to hold people to account. So it was very exciting to be able to give my friends that award.

Was this a time? Yeah, so this is, this is twin, this is earlier this year. This is 2024. What a great picture, by the way. I love it. I'm so glad that you love it. You look incredible. I mean, like, to loop back to some of the stuff you've been talking about.

I mean, you look absolutely stunning. Most of you look like athletes as well, may I say. Oh my God, thank you so much. Again, shoulders, not just ornamental. This is why I brought this photo in because I actually, I feel like in the last 18 months, actually, I've been going through a process of even more transformation, even more like a sense of like, yeah, this is it. We're on the right path and it's a various path and this is the best body and the best face to be doing it in. And that night was a night where I went,

holy shit, I feel, I feel the power of the meanness of me in this body. And it is connected to the androgyny of me. It's connected to the shoulders and the big jaw. Rubin and I always joke that we are played by the same actor and one incredible wig. And we'll never tell you which one is the wig. We will never tell you. So the feeling that we're constantly like moving in and out. Where's Virginia?

She's just left, but Ruben's here. Fantastic. The feeling of being there that night, it was the closing night of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. the room was electric. It was filled with like luminaries and also some of my dearest friends. And the feeling of going, I feel incredible in this body.

And it's connected to the broad shouldersness of it. And we've just turned on the whole journey. The whole journey. And I feel like attractive and desired was what I felt in that room too in a way where I was like, fucking great. Holy shit.

And it's not me pretending to be anybody else. And it's not me femming myself up for some idea of what is, in inverted commas, attractive. It's this fucking thing. And Ruben walked in and he was wearing like the same cut of singlet but in a different color. And we were like, Ruben, it's time for the photo. And it's both of us being totally who we are and being radiant in who we are. And I loved it. Virginia, it's been so lovely to talk to you.

really has. Thank you so much. Thanks for having you. This production of Serrano, can you tell us where it's playing and how long for? So we have our first preview on December the 11th, which is terrifyingly soon at the park. Oh, wow. At the Park Theatre in London in Finsbury Park. So this version of Serrano is flipped, isn't it?

So is Serrano played by presumably your lovely South Virginia? Yes, please. This one right here. Okay. With the strong. features, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Strong features and the broad shoulders. Yeah, I saw a production of Surin-Irano.

I saw the James McAvoy, Jamie Lloyd production. Okay. And I got a scene and a half in, and I was like, I have to play this role, which is not a sentence. I've only seen the Steve Martin one. That's the one I'm familiar with. Yes, and so we play December 11th to January the 11th. It's us and the Pantos over Christmas.

I know where I'm going. I can't stand Panto. I agree. 90 minutes long, it is funny and it's hot and it's weird. Those are the three words that we... I'm going to... I'm going to take Chloe. I've decided that was going to be.

We've got a date night that we're supposed to be organising for January. Fantastic. There you go. I will get us tickets for that. I think I'm going to go and I think you would love it. Yes. Hop into Eminet and then... Give a knickers.

Go and get a packet of knickers and a prawn sandwich. Go and see Sirona. Can I skip the prawn sandwich? No? No. No, that's a part. That's a part of zero-no. In fact, we give them out at the beginning.

Oh, God, I must talk to production. Oh, good luck with the run. I hope it's a huge success. Thank you so much, my friends. I've got those out, Virginia. I know it's going to be an absolute smasher. Well done. Bless your heart.

I can't wait to see it. Thank you so much. Oh, it's been a joy, Virginia. Thanks so much. Why are you in a cupboard? This isn't a cupboard. But you're not in your usual office. Yes, well, I'll tell you why, because of the internet.

And I think you'll be glad that I'm here because I'm closer to the router. So I said to Chloe, I'm coming into the room, which, by the way, was the room that I always did. That's not a room. That's a cupboard. It just is different to the, you know me, I don't like change. And you don't look like you're in the room that you're normally. I'm still in my own house.

Anyway, look, try and adjust to me being in a different room in my own home. You've got a lot, you need to clear out. This is what happens when we talk to people in Zooms because I'm distracted now by how much clutter there is. You need to Marie Kondo that room. Ah, ha, ha. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, go on. No, no, no, no.

This isn't my clutter. All of this, can I just say... Blaming. I don't... Look, this isn't a visual medium, but I'm going to do it anyway. That, all of that, apart from the... Kef here, is... That is all...

That's Chloe, actually. And you wouldn't believe it, would you? You wouldn't believe it, but that's Chloe. That's all her artwork. It's at her art room. That's her art room. That's her art room. What happened is, I needed to clear some space for me to put my laptop.

So I just kind of went... And just shoved it. So she hasn't seen that, to be fair. I don't want to be around when she sees that. I don't want that to happen while we're on this Zoom because that triggers me up. She's at reformer Pilates at the moment, too. I'm safe for another 45 minutes. Okay.

Do you think I need to move this stuff back before she? Yeah, I tidy that mess up before she comes back with a very organized core strength. Organised core strength is Yeah that's what I assume happens in their Pilates class Right but also organised core strength is like her That's her spirit animal Yeah that's why she goes to Pilates Anyone that goes to Pilates

Because have you ever done Pilates do it Oh I don't want to have to keep talking about this I've done Pilates for a long time Oh you see I did it once I just don't do reformer Pilates I do one-on-one Pilates where I'm looking at my body and trying to mitigate certain pains that I have and I do certain exercises to do that.

I'm not trying to, I don't do it for an aerobic exercise for me. It's actually to help my body. And then when I finish my Pilates, just to let you know, Kerry, when I walk out of Pilates, I feel like I've been on like, I'm an inch taller. Right, look at me. And you have good core strength, core strength. I mean.

It's very micro, isn't it, Pilates? It's like, right, let's go in on this muscle. And I did it white. So micro. And I wore a baggy t-shirt. And within 10 minutes, I thought, no one can tell whether I'm doing this. No, if you do it, I did one and one. One and one.

I hid in a class. I was at the back thinking, I'm not doing any of this. If you go in a bag of t-shirt, they make you tuck it into your trousers. I can't see your body. So I need you to tuck your t-shirt. You can't see my pelvic floor anyway, whether I've got a t-shirt on or not. You don't know if I'm strengthening my pelvic floor. No one knows.

No one. Yes, but the idea being if you're going to spend 50 quid an hour that you're invested in your pelvic floor, right? Oh, you're going to do that. Whose time are we wasting thing? Yes. I am.

I'm literally paying you 50 quid. Oh, it's like being in PE. Whose time are we wasting, Kerry? I mean, this is unbelievable. Why are you even going then? You plonker. I did it once and I thought this isn't for me. They're obsessed with pelvic floors.

those pilates. I'm just to say, I wasn't talking about my pelvic floor, just my pelvis. You said your pelvis. It's all about the pelvis. What my mother would call the lower chakras. Oh, they're very much in their lower chakras. I don't say chakra, by the way. I say chakra.

Is that wrong? I pronounce all kinds of things the way my mum did and does because like pitterbread and taramu salata. There are things. Taramu salata. There are things I still say the way I learned them off my mother. Oh dear. Humus. Who miss?

That's not right. No, because I learned it off my mother. Tahini. It's just tahini. Tahini. It's like when Chloe calls Musley, Moosley. And now the children call... You just said the same thing.

No. Right, okay. Just listen to what I'm saying, okay. Moosely and... No, no. Musley. Musley. Yes, but I'm not saying...

Like, how do you call... I don't call it Moosely. Musley. Yeah, you say musely, right? Right. Right. Right. Okay.

So she calls it Moosley. Oh, no, no. No. So now the children call Musley, Moosley. And now one of them calls music, music. I'm like, it's not music. It's music. Oh, no, no, no.

You need to knit that in the bud before they go out into the world. I've tried to, but he's still calling it music and mooseley. And I said to Chloe, you've got to adjust the way you speak. This is unacceptable. Although, as I say, all families and offspring have their funny little little. quirks about they say things the way their parents say things and then you find yourself in your 50s saying taramousalata because that's the way my mum said it in the 80s. Tara Musilata is bad. Yeah, but also quite funny so I'll allow it. I'm going to allow it.

Tara Musilata. Now you're going to have to allow Moosley. Okay. I mean, it might help if I don't let these things bother me quite as much as they do. Yeah, but then what would be that, I mean, you're a comedian. you have to be bothered by things to find the funny in the thing. That's the burden of comedies that you've got to be constantly fucked off. Do I mean, when I do yoga and chill out. Yeah.

When I chill out, I'm like, well, this is all good and well, but nothing's funny now. Everything's too earnest. So I need to be irritated to do my comedy. I feel like there's something about being a stupe. up comedian, which makes anything earnest really just teethchingly revolting. Yeah. And I, and that's not to say that I don't think being honest is a bad thing. No, that's a thing.

It's brilliant for comedy, but it's awful for humanity. For real life. Yes. Yeah, it's real life. I gave somebody a compliment recently. Oh, and they thought you were sarcastic. And they were like, oh, very funny, Jen. Ha-ha.

And I meant that. They were like, yeah, right. They were like, gosh, you always take it. in the piss and I'm like, oh my God. I said I meant that that was that was sincere. That was sincere. I didn't sound sincere. I'm like, I don't know how to sound sincere anymore. You're a Gen X comedian. You literally don't know

how to not sound sarcastic. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to parent. I'm like, morning, what do you want for breakfast? I'm like, wow. I think I'm mothering and they're like, all right, you're not doing a type five at the store, mum. I literally said goodbye to my kids today. Get out now.

And they were like, bye, Mom, I love you. Yes, yes, okay. Love you too. Bye. Oh, yeah, I need to soften up a bit. This is too much. It's too much. You're very abrasive in WhatsApp groups.

You don't soften it with a kiss or an emoji. There's nothing. It's just monosyllabics. You're very, I set up another WhatsApp group, which I thought you'd be happy with. Oh, my God. Why would you think? She just came on and went, I can't do that. Everyone else is like, ooh, yeah, yeah.

There's too much chat. Too much chat. There isn't. There isn't. There isn't. People started having a conversation with each other. This WhatsApp group is just to say yes or no. Can I do this date?

Well, you didn't do either. You didn't do either. Right. Okay, you're saying I haven't worked through my communication problem. Yeah, all of us have worked out that we are abrasive. We're all Gen X comedians. We're very abrasive in the world. But we put a little kiss or a smile emoji.

It's a tiny little thing that doesn't sound like you've come on a WhatsApp group and giving everyone a dead arm and fucked off. Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I'll live that with you. Smiley face.

Cat. No, no, no, no. No one wants the cat. No. I even put a gif. I've got quite a lot of time on my hands, so I put a gif on. You put a gif? Yeah, I put a gif.

That's how I don't engaged you are with that. I very much tapped out of that almost immediately. I put a running man giff, mate. Running man, that is funny. Okay, I haven't seen it, but I appreciate a running man gif. Nothing not to like about a running man gif. Well, I think. think the running man is never not funny even when you're trying to be sincere and serious.

That's why we're friends because fundamentally we both know that the running man is the funniest thing. If I'm going to, if I'm on the dance floor and I run out of moves, straight into the running man. Straight into the running man. If robot doesn't do it, running man will surely do. That's what I want to do. That's going to be my new, for this decade of my life, dance. Yep. I think so.

I think 50s, you know what you've got to go to? an afternoon sober rave what? Five rhythms Yeah I did a bit of that

at a yoga retreat I did a bit of five rhythms and I went with my friend Rosie we went away to Spain for a week long yoga retreat and there was a bit of five rhythms one of the days and both of us were like

okay okay we're just going to commit to this let's just do the shaking and the dancing and the drumming no judgment no judgment I'm just like feeling a bit of judgment I know I closed my eyes through all of it I thought don't peep

Don't judge. Commit to this. Afterwards, Rosie said to me, I was watching you. So what do you mean? She went, I couldn't help myself. I just had to look. It's like, you fuck her. I didn't look at you. She was like, I just couldn't control myself.

I had to have a look. Yeah. And I was really going for it, Jen. Well, that's probably why Rosie had to have a look because she was like, this is unusual. And also, what the fuck is she doing? Yeah. But that's not the point.

It wasn't. No, and actually you stuck to the contract that you made with Rosie and she broke the contract. She broke the contract. It's your right to be upset. Yeah. I probably look like a right prick. Yeah, but you look like a right prick lost in music.

Shaking it out to the drumming. Yeah. And I bet. Did you feel good at the end of it? I did actually. Yeah, well, there you go. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Dardy. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast.

What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday?

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