Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E09: Listener Episode

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

"There were slow dances..." "You're 10! You're 10 Kerry!!!" It's our very first listener episode!!! Featuring our wonderful listeners - The brilliant Alex Grundy, the fabulous Fern Miller, the amazing Sarah Hinds and wonderful Vicki Scott. In the episode @kerryagodliman and @jenbristercomedy discuss their first jobs, their school discos, haircuts and school photos. Plus Jen tells a harrowing story about a cake and Kerry couldn't find a giant rabbit... If you'd like a photo to appear on Memory lane just DM us on instagram and we'll see what we can do. PLUS... Kerry is currently on tour - ticket link in her bio - @kerryagodliman Jen is going to be on tour later in the year - ticket link in her bio - @jenbristercomedy PHOTOS PHOTO 1: Alex Grundy PHOTO 2: Fern Miller PHOTO 3: Sarah Hinds PHOTO 4: Vicki Scott PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel Porter Hosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light Media Sales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Book direct and save at bestwestern.com. Maybe It's Mabelene is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us.

And welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Carrie Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly

on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. We've got our listener photos that have come in. Some of these are absolutely great. And I love that they're all about our age. Of course they are. This was me.

I mean, there's a reference to Ilder Ogden in this first one and Joel, our producer, was like, I don't know who that is. I can't believe you don't. Joel, the fact that you don't know who Hilda Ogden is is absolutely, I mean, I never even watched Coronation Street. I did, so I'm really familiar with Hilda. Well, this is from Alex. No one's called Hilda anymore.

Have you ever met Hilda? No, we're not doing Hilda at the moment. It'll come back, a bit like Clive. I've never met another Hilda. Met loads of Clives. Maybe if you go to Germany. Oh, is it a German name? She wasn't German the character, though, was she?

No. She was from Lancaster. Yeah. I'm just saying, like, Hilda, that's old school. Yeah. It's just I've never known another, old or new. I've never known a Hilda, except Hilder Ogden. That is true.

Never met a Hilda, never heard of a Hilda. What, even like a grandparent as Hilda? I can't believe that with that, this is the thing that we're zoning in on. Okay, no, let's go in. No, forget it. I've been distracted. Right, let's talk about this. picture. Okay. So this is from Alex Grundy and he has dressed up as the iconic Hilda Ogden.

This picture was taken in the early 80s in Corfu on holiday. Yes. I mean, we can. He said, hello, Kerry and Jen. I've listened to your last step. So I thought I'd send you this picture. I love fancy dress. Started when I was about seven on holiday in Corfu. My mum thought she'd enter me into the hotel's fancy dress competition as Hilda Ogden, who no one. had heard of. So she renamed me Little Scrubber. Well, it was the early 80s.

Enough said, enough said Alex. A different time, true indeed. My brother was the hunchback of Notre Dame and he came second. Maybe because the Europeans knew who that was. Loving the show, Alex. No disrespects, Alex. I'm uncertain if you were a little boy

or a little girl in this picture. I don't know. I think he's a boy. But looks so good with. I mean the... He's a brilliant Hilda Ogton. I love the bog brush, the fag in his mouth, the rollers, the hairnet. It's the rollers for me.

His mum's really committed to it. Do you remember they were like, I mean, I don't really... I mean, kids, my... Our kids do fancy dress, but it was always like at home, like they're like dress up. But I don't remember... Because I never took my kids now to like one of those camps where there's, you know, you can get dress up and there's a competition. for children to do stuff.

And I remember to dress? No, not. Well, Book Day is the classic, isn't it? Well, book day, yeah. But I mean, like, when you go to a family thing, like, or you go to a campsite and they have got like a big, I haven't done that with my kids and I think they've missed out. Yeah, maybe.

You know, like butlins, pontins or... I think, though, in the eight... When I was a kid, I had fancy dress parties. And I told you my fancy dress, my Cowboys and Indians one. I don't think you might say that. I mean, that's not a phrase you use anymore. But again, as Alex pointed out in the 80s. It was you could say anything, yeah.

So I had a cowboy, cow girls. everyone was meant to come as a cowgirl. My friend Zoe Cook came as a cat. And I was not happy. I was like, why have you come as a cat? And she looked, this is sort of pre-puberty, but I think she was a bit more cuspy. She was older.

And I was like, a bit like a sexy cat. And I just, you, that, she was detracting from your, yeah, I felt deeply troubled and couldn't put my finger on why. Were you a cowgirl or were you? I was a cowgirl. Okay. I had plaids and a cowgirl hat and a holster and a little.

little waistcoat and yeah I went for it and all my mates went for it but Zoe Cook oh no mate she went as a cat in a leotard Did she get the memo? Maybe She got that memo

She knew what she was doing Well maybe she was at home And the mum said you don't have to go as a cowgirl You could go as a cat And she went I'd rather go as a cat mom You know that's the kind of thing my mum would have done You don't have to do that You could do this and I'm like

Oh okay If the invitation says We're going as cowgirls How old were you at this point? I reckon I was about nine Okay And she was about About 15.

Maybe. Hi, Kerry. I think she was a year or two. Yeah. Like, what's going on here? Well, Alex got the memo and he did, he's dressed up. And I like the person next to. The commitment.

The commitment is incredible. I like the hunchback. Yeah, they've really gone for that humpback. The hunchback of Notre Dame. What's going on with the legs? What do you mean? Well, what's going on with the legs? I mean, the main feature of a humpback is the hump, isn't it?

But why have you got all those humps on your legs as well? You only need the back. Oh, those are boils. What? That's, you know, the hunchback had boils in his legs. Just making shit up. I don't know what the lumpy legs are about, but it does add something. It definitely does.

They've really committed to the posture. Again, you know, we probably wouldn't do the hunchback either. No, there's a lot of things we wouldn't do that we did in the 80s. I mean, it was a different time, as Alex has pointed out. I had my dress-up outfit was a gypsy. I don't think you can do that either. I had a little ball, Kristen ball. Wow.

Yeah, what else? I had a little scarf around my head. Yeah, a little kerchief. Yeah, bandana. And what I wanted was the most important thing. The only reason I was a gypsy was because I wanted to wear an earring. Okay. And my brother was a pirate, so I wasn't allowed to be a pirate.

So I was like, well, I want to wear an earring because my mum had this clip on earring. Right, right. She was like, okay, well, you can be a gypsy. and so I was a gypsy. I've got lots of pictures of me of various different things. I'd like to see those pictures. Yeah.

Can we get those? I've got one at the Queen Silver Jubilee Street party. As a gypsy? As a gypsy. So you really went with it as, it was your basic go-to, like, yeah, I was like,

what are you going to get dressed up as, Jen? Gypsy. I've got to go with gypsy. It works for me. Yeah. I mean, actually, I think it probably, I wouldn't now. I wouldn't actually.

No, I'm glad to hear it, actually. Can you imagine if you just rocked up to a party in your full gypsy out of it? I'd be like, what's happening? What is happening? I don't know, but there was a different time. It was a different time. And also, now we're really going for it.

I've just remembered, I went to a school fate as Nail Gwynn. And my mum dressed me up as Nell Gwynn and I had a basket of oranges. And no one knew who Nell Gwynn was. And my friend, my friend went as like, Debbie Harry. And I'm like, again, you look sexy. Nell Gwyn was a monarchs like mistress She was like a sex worker of a king And she sold oranges and did a bit more

Yeah she did a bit of extra on the side She did a bit of extra And I was about like eight And I went as Nail Gwynne to the school I know you mean you basically And my friend Tari Higgs went as a bag of Oranges Fruit drops

And it was brilliant She had all these multicoloured balloons Inside a see-through plastic bag She looked great Wow that is an incredibly innovative costume. Environmentally, nightmare. A nightmare, but it was a different time.

Yeah, different time. But everyone was all day. Who are you? Like Nell Gwynne and that. Who are you going to explain? Your mind probably went, she's a feminist icon. Because she made her way in society.

She did what she could and she sold. I wish I had gone with gondy. Yeah, Debbie Harry would have been better. Yeah. My friend Emma had a lovely little sparkly dress on. What were you wearing? Like a sort of smock? I used to dress up a lot.

Me and my mate, Sally, we used to do a lot of dressing up. Well, well after we were too old to do it, we used to get, like, sheets out and put doilies on our heads. Why? Fun. But what? I really love dressing up. Love being Victorian ladies. Oh, is that what the doily was?

Yeah, doily on the head, Victorian lady. And then, like, loads of sheets and then sat. My mum had loads of fabrics. She had drawers of fabric. Yeah, because of portabella market. Yeah, so I had loads of clothes. I was always dressing up. Lressing up is fun.

Yeah, so much fun. I had a, what are they called? Those, the guards at Guard Bucking Palace have got the big hats. Befiters. Are they not? No, soldiers. Yeah, soldiers. Yeah, that's what they're called.

They're called soldiers. But you know the ones that pass out when it's hot? Yeah, the ones that pass out when it's hot and they have those big hats. I had that outfit. What? Oh my God, it wasn't it. Where did you get that? This is pre-Bezos.

Where are you getting that shit? I don't know. From Argos probably. You made it. You made it. Did not make it. No. It was very synthetic and also the hat would collapse.

All right. So it was sort of like. like fall in front of my face like that. And in fact, often would just cover my entire face. You had to prop it up and just hope that the wind wouldn't blow and sort of into your face. Got any pictures of that? Yeah, I got pictures of that.

Okay. And my favourite outfit, clown. Oh, you can't beat clown. And very, you know, a premonition of your future. Very, yes, exactly. Because you are a clown. But if you look at the pictures, I creep myself up. There's something weird about clowns.

I don't care if it's you. It's like, what? You went for clown? Full clown, yeah. With the rough. Rough. Wre on the neck? Hats, no wig.

Makeup. Loads. Yeah, but my mum's makeup. So I always had that kind of weird sort of 80s sheen, you know, like her blusher, her, eye shadow. Piro. Piro. Do you remember that was massive in the 80? Piro, that was like a clown, wasn't it, with the teardrop.

Yes. That was huge. Yes. That was everywhere. Yes. I haven't even thought about that since the 80s. No, that pictures everywhere. What was it?

Piro. Piro. Poirot? No, Poirot with the Agatha Rossi Person, that's Poirot. Peirot. I'm going to Google it. I know exactly it's got the triangular hat. White face and the teardrop.

Kind of like a clown. Kind of. Anyway, go on. Sorry, finish your clown. No, that's it. That's the end of that. You didn't have big shoes? Dungrees? Big trousers. No, big, yeah, the whole outfit like a jumpsuit. Yeah. I have yellow, yellow leg, red leg, green arms, blue arms.

As a look. What do you mean? Because you're a clown level? I'm not going to be walking on stage dressed up. Why don't you? Because I don't have a backstory with clown. But you have a backstory with clown. I do it's something I should explore on stage.

For my next show. Why don't we go to Paris and do the clowning Lecoq workshop? Why don't we do some clowning with Lecoq? No thanks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, well done, Alex. You really do look amazing.

I love that photograph. And also, there is a fact in the mouth as well. There's a commitment and there's a joy there. But it's, you know, it was in Corfu No one knew who Hilda Ogden was So it's unfortunate It had that been in Butlin's in mine head Alex would have won

Yeah, yeah Alex, you would have won, my lovely Because you look A stunner, I'm going to say Absolutely Is it's a real cigarette or just a sweet one It's the 80s, could well have been a real cigarette actually Yeah

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not look a little further to Dubai, a city that everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers, and epic desert adventures, to museums that showcase the future, not just the past. Choose from 14 flights per week between Canada and Dubai. Book on emirates.ca. Today. Right, Fern Miller's picture, This is of me and my handsome dad in petticoat Lane in 1988 when I was 14, I think, and I visited him and we were accosted by a man with parrots. I remember him asking if I was my dad's girlfriend. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, please.

Which was probably a joke, but a perilous one, given his social life, to be honest. Yes, I know that people, I've heard of that, people being asked if they're their dads. That's gross. Yeah. That is absolutely disgusting. But that, again, it was a different time, Kerry. It was a different time. Yeah.

Do you remember when, like, it was really normal to sexualise school girls? Yeah, that was, that was okay. I don't think Britney Spears helped. I don't think Benny Hill helped, to be honest. I wasn't allowed to watch Benny Hill. We've covered that? Yeah, I wasn't either. St Trinians as well.

My mum was like, no watching one. Or carry-on. I wasn't allowed to watch Carrie-on films. You never watched a carry-on film? Well, I have now. Oh, my God. That was a quintessential time of our lives. watching carry on?

I wasn't allowed. Wow, Zers. Your mum was proper. She was hardcore, man. She was like, why were all these sex pestaments to be funny? She was right. Yeah. She was right.

Yeah. But I like Fern's parrots. I mean, that was also a different time where people would have a parrot that they probably shouldn't have. Oh, yeah. And they're big. And that one on the dad's shoulder. I mean, it's massive. And then you would have a picture with that said.

But I do remember that a little bit at markets. We went to Brick Lane the other week. and Ben went, do you remember when we came here a while back? Not that long ago, just maybe pre-COVID. And there was a bloke selling puppies out of a bike. What? Yeah. Markets have always like, shifting animals. That doesn't feel right.

No. I remember the time we were like, oh, look at the puppies. Some of them were not puppies. They were just small dogs. I've got a picture of me with a monkey. Would you buy a puppy of a bloke at a market? No, I wouldn't. I don't think you'd get your kennel club certificate with it.

I don't think so. Don't you have to have a license or something? Was I, did I make that up? Have you bought animals from a market? Sorry, was you going to say that then? No. I've never bought an animal from a market. I mean, I think a friend of mine at school bought a tortoise from a market.

Kingston market, she bought tortoise years ago. And then her dad ran over it with the lawnmower. Someone came on Iowa Street. What's that group today said, if you found what? I've lost my tortoise. If anyone sees my tortoise. They don't move fast? No, but they just turn up, won't they?

They go for a little walk. Where? You just let it out in the street and go Be back at five, that's your curfew. But maybe it goes a few gardens along So the street WhatsApp was like If you see my daughters, can you let me know? They weren't worried then

You know, I think they were a bit worried. Yeah. Sad. I had a torquoise when I was a kid. Gertie. Did you? Anyway, Marrott. Yeah, I loved Gertie.

Loved her. Did she do? Not much. She just sort of. No, I mean that's not what they're for What are they for then? Hmm What are they for?

They're just little creatures, aren't they? Yeah. She hang out with a little creature They're amazing looking. Earwigs as well. They're dinosaurs. No, I didn't ever have one of those. I think if I had wanted a pet at that age

it would have been a hedgehog. I remember bringing a sort of mangy hedgehog home one day that I found by the side of the road. They always had ticks. And my mum was like, get it out! Get it out! Get it out of the house! I was like, it's half dead.

Please give it your home, mummy. We were always bringing half dead animals into the house. Because all the books we were reading were talking animals. So we were like, right, got connection with animals now. Yeah. And this house called Harry, the hedgehog, let's let him move in. That's so true. All the animals were talking about then.

The animals of Farthingwood. The Wind in the Willows. Charlotte's Webb. Charlotte's Webb, Wind in the Willows. Fantastic, Mr. Fox. Peter Rabbit. loads of talking animals. Yeah.

So I'm like, what's wrong with this hedgehog? Yeah. Let's help this hedgehog out. Did you ever go to Petticoat Lane Market? Yes, I did go to Petticoat Lane Market. But we didn't go often because I didn't live that way. That way. I didn't even live anywhere near that way.

But we went to Petticoat Lane. We went to Portobella Market. We went to... Petticoat Lane was more like, I seem to remember people got leather jackets there. Yeah, it was cloth. It was like material. Yeah. I mean, I went there more when I was older.

Right. But, yeah. I think... I love a market. Yeah, you do love a market. I do love a market. You love a market and you love a lane full of little shops. Yeah.

You say to me I don't like shopping. I don't think you do. I don't like sort of chain shopping, high street shopping. I like little... Rummaging. Yeah. Like places just one-offs. Yeah.

I went to Brick Lane Market, as I just said, the other day. They are full on, though, aren't they markets? London market. I don't actually enjoy a market particularly. Really? Did you ever work on one? I used to work on a market. No.

I used to work in Covent Garden on a leather stall. Do you know what? I might have seen you there because I was at Covent Garden almost every weekend. Every Saturday? Yeah. I hated it. Hated it. So boring.

Cold, really, really, really cold. Used to get there really early in the morning when they were setting up the stalls. And just, it was hard work. and he was sitting outdoors all day in the bitter cold. But one day I was sitting on this stall and there was his bloke dressed as a massive rabbit and he was kind of giving out leaflets or street performing or something. And then he had like huge big gauze black eyes.

And then he caught my eye through his big gauze black eyes. It would be hard to miss him. And I caught his and we sort of like looked at each other and I cocked my head and was like, all right? And I thought, well, I'm floating with a massive rabbit. Anyway, then he kind of started walking towards me. I was like, uh-oh. And he came right up close.

But I couldn't see who was inside. And he went, hello Kerry Godleman. Who is? Why? Who is that? And he then walked off. Who was it? Well, for a long time. I chased after him, I couldn't leave the stall.

Hello, Kerry Godleman? Yeah. And I was like, who are you? Come back. No, don't do that. No, it's not funny. Come back. And he went, and waved and went off.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is mad. Then I got my lunch break. My boss came back to give me my lunch break. And I was like, I've got to go and find this rabbit. And he's like, okay, she's lost her mind. And I was row. running round Coven Garden trying to find this rabbit.

Obviously, you know, getting a little bit. I'm like, I'll find him. He's worn a, never found him. You never found him? No, and for weeks and weeks afterwards, I was sort of selling everyone about, oh my God, you don't know anyone that was doing simple like, dressed as a rabbit, Coven Garden Saturday, last Saturday,

just giving out leaflets, anyone, anyone, anyone, took ages and ages, ages, months. And then one day I was at my youth theater group. Yes. And I was sitting on the wall outside of youth. and one of the kids in my youth here, Sean, he came over and he went, hello, Kerry God, Le Mans. I say, you bastard!

That's not funny. Oh my God, that would have really, really kissed me off, yeah. What a horrible joke? Yeah, I'm not on his side. No. No, I'm team Kerry for this one. He thought it was hilarious. Well, he probably still does.

Even to this day, that's probably one of his favourite anecdotes. And then, you can believe this, months later, I got up to where I go, I like, I remember me, she loses her mind, I'll have a laugh. Anyway, that's one of my standout market anecdotes. That's actually, that is, that's top draw. Yeah. I don't have any such anecdote because I used to work in things like kitchens and factories. Right.

And there weren't rabbits. They weren't rabbits. Yeah, a cop-garden had a lot going on. I worked in a patissary. I was just going to tell you that. Mm-hmm. And I had to make things like, I had to give people cakes and stuff. You should be on bake off.

No. I didn't make the cakes. You just sold them. I sold them. But you've got, like, experience with cakes. I've got experience with cakes. Right, you should be able to make up 100%. I've looked at a cake.

I've sold a cake. I've been near cakes. I spent... Did you eat quite a lot of cakes? I probably ate quite a few cakes. Although you didn't get any cakes free, you had to buy them. But you got a discount. My point is, every now and again, they would get an order for a really big cake.

Yes. Like it'd be like so and there's a party. Like a birthday cake. Yeah. And then and so they would, you know, go to. So this place, although it was a patissary, they didn't make anything there. They ordered everything in. Right, right.

So on this occasion, there was a 22 inch or 26 inch, like fucking huge. Like, I'm holding it like this. Like my arms are far apart, by the way. It's massive. Yeah. Okay. So they're like, this cake. Can you take it upstairs?

And then when they come to get it, well, you can go get it. Right. So anyway, long story short, the cake is upstairs. And at one point my boss goes, Jen, can you go, I'm going to go and deliver the cake now, this humongous cake for this big event that's happening. Today, I said no problem. I went upstairs to get the cake. I grabbed the cake. I'm holding it.

I'm coming down the stairs. And then I sort of hit the step in the wrong place. And I managed to get my balance back. But what's happened is, is I've lent quite far forward. My hands have dropped. And the cake, as I'm trying to rebalance it. I've rebalance myself. I've actually given it momentum,

and the cake has slid off the cake thing and landed the entirety of the cake onto the stairs. And then I'm staring at this cake. And this is a big cake, a big cake. This is very big cake. Oh, Jesus. This is as big as a cake as a big cake. So you're going to have to quit that job.

That's over now. They didn't fire me. What? I fired you. Would you fire me? Yeah, 100%. I just can't bear it when you've got incompetent Saturday staff. Be like, oh, fuck off, I'll get another one.

There's loads of them. I'd been there for about two years at this point. Oh, right, so you were quite key and they had a relationship with you. Okay, I take it back. But honestly. How did you get out of that? I didn't. How do you get out of that?

You don't get out of it. You just have to say that cake. Take out of your wages? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it out of my wages. And then they took that one out of my wages. and then I had to pay for the next one as well. Oh my God, Jen.

Yeah. Do you find cakes quite triggering now? So now I don't like to be near cakes. In fact, I don't like... There was a cake at your 50th recently? Yeah. Now I know your backstory with cake. I didn't have a slice of it.

Did you notice that? I noticed you didn't go near it. I didn't look at it. No, I didn't even see it. What was it? It was just a little cake with 50 on it. I still think about that. That is awful.

My cortisol's gone up just telling you that story. That's awful. It's one of those things that happens to you when you're, when you're, I must have been about 18, 17, 18. Oh, Jen, that's mortifying. And just knowing, and just knowing that it was like, how are they going to, but we, they managed to drum up another cake in time for this, this event. Right.

But it was wild. Yeah, that's really unfortunate. And also, my boss, she was quite highly strong anyway. Right. So she wasn't one of those people that goes, okay, Jen. Okay, Jen, that's all right. Well, I can see what's happened there. She just went, ah, ah!

Yeah. People that run businesses. I mean, it's a small business. business. Yeah, they often are quite stressed. Anyway, good times. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus,

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created by Ryan Murphy, and starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Nisi Nash Betts, Tiana Taylor, Matthew Nosska, with Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close. All's Fair premieres on Hulu, on Disney Plus, November 4th. What's happening with Vicky? All right, let's go.

My photos from the day I had my school photo age six. Oh my God, school photos. They're not much better now. I'm going to say my kids' photos from when they go, oh, the kids are going to have a school photo. They're still horrendous. But do you remember the way the photographer

would make you sit if you had to have your solar? And the lighting's often awful. The backdrop. Your hand on top of another hand. Oh, I've got to. got ones with one hand on the table and another hand with my chin resting on my hand. Yeah. Looking like, I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing.

Like you're a published author. Yeah, like, hello and welcome to panorama. Jen lives in London with her partner and two children. This is her fourth novel. Yeah. Except I'm seven. These are the things that I think now in the world of why do we still do this? Because we've all got a smartphone so we don't need a photographer to come into the school and take pictures of our children anymore.

I don't need, I don't need any more. of my children. No. Like, I don't need the travel on the radio because I've got a sat-nav. So I don't need the radio to tell me. Now over to the travel. I don't need that now.

I've got something. Don't need you to do the weather either. Got a smartphone. Yeah. Everyone has. I've got a window. But this picture that Vicky's got is especially... What's she saying?

What's the word? Well, basically she's... She looks ecstatic. Well, she's had nits. So her mum cut her hair short. or rather hacked it off with a knife. It's not from a pair of scissors. It's from a knife that mom cut a hair with a knife.

And the smile is because I was back at my wonderful primary school. That is, well, knits was and still is. I don't think you can cut nits out with a knife. I mean, you've got to treat it with proper chemicals. You can't go with your kids' head with a knife just to deal with nits. Yeah, you're still going to have nits. You're still going to have nits because they're right. The eggs are in the roots.

Yeah. I mean, you've got less hair to coat. it out from, which I totally get. I think it looks quite cute. I think she looks cute. A little burke look. She's got like a little pixie hair cut. In fact, if her mum did do it with a knife, I'm going to say she did a good job.

She did a good job. She looks so cute and happy. She does. Well, she liked primary school. Actually, I think I liked primary school. Did you like primary school? Yeah. I don't remember liking secondary school.

I like bits of it. Some of it I liked. Some of it I didn't like. It's choppy waters, isn't it? It's secondary. But primary, great times. Great times in primary. Best time was the disco.

I love the discos. What discos? We had school discos. What did you mean? Yeah. We'd have like slow dances. And then the boys would break dance. Yeah.

Then the boys would break dance. Oh my God. And Darren Lord would do the caterpillar and we'd all stand around him. I cannot imagine something I'd rather have not done at that age. It goes for disco. Oh, Jen, you'd have loved it. I wouldn't. And then there were slow dances.

So I wouldn't want to do that. Move closer. Move your body real close. Your tent! You're 10, Kerry. Can we jump one and go straight to Sarah Hines? Right. Because I've never seen anything like it.

And I can't take my eyes off it. This particular photograph is quite... I wouldn't say obsessing, but it's the stuff of nightmares. It's a little disturbing. She says this is her age five. I'm modelling a... Paper-mache mask I made at kindergarten. Other kids made animals like koalas,

and I chose to create a fashionable woman with cool hair and fab accessories. I think it's especially creepy if you zoom in and see my little eyes peeping through the holes. I had an eye for style even back then. No, you didn't, Sarah. No, you didn't. Sarah, I love that you wanted to create a fashionable woman. And what I want to know is who you've modelled yourself on, a woman with not quite enough hair. It's the creepiest thing.

Well, it's the smile, I think. The smile, and she's right, there's something haunting about the child's eyes in the mask. Masks are creepy anyway, but this one, I'd say in creepiness is a solid ten. What was the... Oh, God. Okay, right. The hair, the earrings, the buck. Have you seen the substance?

No, I haven't. Right. Well, at the end when it all goes utterly to shit for Demi Moore, she looks a bit like that. Oh my God. It's just... But she's got earrings. Yeah, well, she's got earrings in the substance.

She pops a little earring on. She's got a lovely pair of earrings. A coquettish smile, two little blue bows. What was that? Paper measure. Frank. Yeah, Frank. Frank side bottom.

Frank Sidebottom. She looks like Frank Sidebottom. She looks like... You don't like that, Linda. You had a Manchester accent. He never took his mask off. You never know who's inside. Oh, you don't know who's inside.

I love that picture. I think it is... Isn't it like when my kids... I don't know if your kids have ever done a portrait of you. Has that ever happened and they go... Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, holy...

Wow. Okay. But you have to say how it's beautiful. Yeah, because they're children, Jen. The children. Exactly. What were you expecting? I wasn't expecting much, but I was expecting to look like a human being.

Yeah. Have you done much, papio-mache? I did. I did. Why do we ever use the English word for papio-mache? Which is what? Papi-a-mache. We do use it, we call it paper-mashet, don't we?

But that's French. No, paper isn't? But mashay, 100%. Paper-mashet. What is that mashed-up paper? I mean, I don't, I've never really thought about it. Now, I'm... Have you ever been...

made paper mashay. Yes, I made a little character when I did a puppetry course. What? What? I can remember what his name was. You did a puppetry course. Yeah, and it was basically a head. You won't come to Paris and do Lecoq with me and you did a puppetry course. I did. And actually, his voice was like that, hello. Like Frank's sidebottom.

Yeah, the front sideboard, except a lot higher. And he was basically two fingers and then a head attached to my wrist. And it was, and then he would and that's how he would walk around like that. So, you can't see that this is not a visual medium, but There we go.

Brilliant. I mean, I wish I still had that, and he was very popular. I wish you still had that. Then you wouldn't need anyone to warm up for you. You could just warm up for yourself as your little character. Kerry, I want you to know there was quite a long period of time where I thought I was going to go into puppetry. Are you joking?

I'm not even joking. I genuinely thought, I've got... Aged grown up? 19. Ooh. Yeah. Fully-fledged adult? Yeah, I was like, I'm going to go into puppetry, yeah.

I thought that was... I knew a puppeteer once. It's a job. I know it's a job. I'd see War Horse. They're doing it. Look. Do I want to do it now?

No. I don't want to do it now. Really? You surprised me? No. I don't see a future in it. It's never come up, has it? You've never mentioned it. It's ever like I've thought, she should really scratch that age.

No one's ever asked me about paper mash and puppy, my face. You know, you've never asked me now that you've asked me, it's all, it can come out. And I can, I can tell you about my past as a potential puppeteer and what I would have done. Let's imagine that, Jen. Yeah, you'd have toured the world. I'd have toured the world with this character, his name of forgot now, but let's call him Georgie.

And we would have gone around the world. Just two fingers in the head. And who knows where that would have taken me? Who knows? Paris. Milan. New York. Manhattan, Broadway.

Oh, Broadway. That would have been next. And I do think about, it's a sliding door actually. Yeah. I mean, I really, really, really wish I could meet that, Jen. Do you know what? I would be open to creation. This little character.

Do you know who will know? My friend Jude will know the name of this character because we did puppetry together. And this is whilst you were at uni? Yeah. Right. It was like a unit. Like, it was a course.

Yeah, yeah. You could pick it. We're doing puppetry. Yeah, for this semester, I'm doing puppetry. And then you were like, this is going to be doing me. This is going to be me. Oh, yeah. But then I did comedy the next.

And then you were like that. And then I was like, no, I'm ditching puppetry. I'm doing comedy. Fair enough. But sliding doors, had I never done the comedy course, I could have been wedged into puppetry. And I, you know, like I said, I could have been a world, an internationally renowned puppeteer that is travelled the world that is, you know. Well, that's what international means, isn't it?

It involves the world. Yeah, that's true. Lorded and applauded. Yeah. I just can't imagine it. Well, you haven't got an imagination then. You need to dig deeper. there's a lot of people listen to this

are going, I can totally see that. Carrie, did you enjoy looking at those photos? I tell you what it's reassured me of is that everyone has got some pretty good this is what I like about this podcast is it sort of, you know, they're little portals, aren't they, to funny little memories.

And I love that everyone's pictures are basically sepia. Yeah, a lot of our listeners are our age of the pictures. The colour is literally drained out of every photograph and that for me That warms my heart. I'm Max Rushden.

I'm David O'Darady. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it, what did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy. asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? Like that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What Did You Do Yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.