Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E13: Fatiha El-Ghorri

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

"It was very racist... People used to get their dog to shit on our door every day for like 10 years... There were streets we couldn't go down..." We have the AMAZING Fatiha El-Ghorri on the podcast this week!Not sure where to start with Fatiha... She is just brilliant. We spoke about growing up with 13 siblings, her dad, staying in a women's refuge, getting into comedy and now making amazing TV shows. What a life.Fatiha is starring in Silence is Golden on Dave & U - A brilliant new show presented by Dermot O’Leary where a studio audience is given £250,000... but every single noise they make loses them all money.Plus... Kerry and Jen chat about Mach Comedy Festival, Kerry's social media posts and gearing up for Glasto... and so much more.JEN & KERRY STAND-UP TOURS Kerry's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728Jen's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.jenbrister.co.uk/tour/PHOTOSPHOTO 1: ME & DADPHOTO 2: DANCINGPHOTO 3: ME & SISPHOTO 4: ON A BUSPHOTO 5: CHRISTMAS HEADWEARPICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel PorterHosted by Jen Brister & Kerry GodlimanDistributed by Keep It Light MediaSales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get full-size favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page.

So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. How's your bank holiday being? Well Kerry, I'm so glad you asked. it's really important for us to touch base. Okay? I have been in wheels. Did you go to MacFest?

Of course. I was there at the Fest of Mac where I did. You go every year, don't you? I don't go every year. I didn't go last year because I didn't have a show last year. You know what I think? I think you're one of the cool people. The cool people go to MacFest.

I've never been. I don't think anyone thinks that. I think that. Or indeed has ever said that. I tell you who I saw. I'm saying it. at Mahmachn Festival. Yeah.

I saw who I saw. Zoe Lyons. There you go. Another cool one. Another cool dude. Her very first time that she's ever been. So there's hope for me.

There's always hope for you, Kelly. Part of the reason you don't do any of these things. I'm going to put this out there is you don't want to do any of these things. I do. I do want to. You don't want to. I want to go to West Wales to do a show. So how many shows there are?

did you do? Tell me about your shows. I did two shows. One on the Saturday, one on the Sunday, and then I did like a showcase thing and I don't know why I did that. What am I showcasing? What do you mean? Oh, a kind of best off thing? Well, they said do you want to, and I said yes. I don't know why I said yes. Because you're a yes person, Jen. That's how I see you. I see you as a yes person. Do you? Yeah. Yes. I do see. Yeah, but that's when you have a go at me of saying, why don't you say no? Oh yeah, yeah. But you do say yes. You say yes. I do say yes. And on this occasion, I said, Yes, there was a lot of regrets after I said yes. Because I was like, I could be in bed.

Why am I staying up till like half past 10 to do it? I finished my show at 7 and I've got to hang around to half past 10. What kind of moron says yes? For an unpaid slot to advertise a show. Because you're trying to be groovy with the young people. I don't know what I was trying to be. Groovy. I tell you what happened.

Did you have like spank flashbacks to like the early noughties when you used to agree to do spank? And they go, right, you're on it. 2.30 a.m. Oh my God. Yeah, that's what you were trying to get that back. And the troop of like, you know, sketch group from like, I don't know, Cambridge had just come off naked.

Yeah, yeah. That's what you were trying to get back. That's why you agreed to that cabaret. Why is everyone taking their clothes off? Somebody's making that me. Because there's big money in exposing yourself. There's no money in Spank. There's no money.

Anyway, I digress. So you did three shows. and BBC Radio Wales, Kering Pritchard McClein's comedy comedy comedy comedy. Who are all over that, first of all. On Sunday morning. That was another regret. Why?

Wake up. Because it's Sunday morning. I could have stayed in bed. I had to get up. I was staying with Angela Barnes. Why did you go to this thing? No, there's too many questions and I don't want to answer all of them right now. But what I'm going to say is, past me is a penis.

I was in a beautiful cottage. Angela Barnes stays. in this cottage every year. Oh my God. Can I come next year? I wasn't with Angela. She here wasn't arrived. She was in Lyme Regis. I was in the place. She went, you'll be in the place and I'll see you on Sunday. And I was like, great, but then I agree to do this

radio thing, but then the cottage is not anywhere near the festival. It's like three miles out. I didn't have a car. All of the logistics of it were a nightmare. So one of the reasons I did the showcase was so I could get a lift back. Right. One of the reasons I did the Kimmy Pritchin-McClean so I could get a lift there.

So these are the reasons. Right. Okay. is very important intel. Yeah, so this is the... This doesn't come up in a post. No, it won't. It won't. And also, this is the backstory of all of the logistics that I made to go to a festival in West Wales without a car. Why did you do that?

Why? Why don't you take a car? Chloe has the car. Why don't you just rent a car? I'm not renting a car. Honestly, Jen, it changes your life when you rent a car. I'm not renting a car. It's not as expensive as you think.

I don't... I don't want to have... this conversation. I'm not renting a car. Okay. I've, I've, you've made your point. You've made your point. Yes, I'm not doing it. It's just that the actual faff and then I've got to drop it off. I tell you what, if this happens again, message me, I'll rent you a car. You live in London? Yeah, I know, but I could just rent you a car. I'm really good at renting cars. Are you good at renting cars? Yeah. Where is this renting car thing? I don't think I've ever seen you in a rental car in my entire life. Oh man, I just, I rent cars. Are you always, you're just renting cars? Yeah. Like you're always at groovy young people festivals.

I'm renting cars. Oh yeah, me and the groovy young people festivals. I'm there every week. You should see where I am next week. Where are you? I can't even tell you. It's a collection of groovy people. The problems you've just explained to me were easily resolvable with a very inexpensive car rental.

That's all I'm saying. Anyway. I mean, with hindsight, some of what you're saying makes sense. Yeah. Anyway, then, so I get a lift to McCunleth with Jess Foster Q. Do you want to know all the logistics? Yeah. So I have to get up really early on Saturday morning, 6 a.m.

To pick up a train from Victoria Station. I get pick up, Jess picks me up at 8 a.m. And then we drive to McCona the festival on Saturday. Then we do the shows, blah, blah, bit. Sunday night, after everything that's happened, done on my shows, everything's done Sunday nights. Yeah. I've been in McCona the Festival all day,

just wandering around like a loser with no friends until I see Zoe. Then drive back all the way to be right on with Zoe lines. Guess how many breaks we had? None, I bet you flawed it. She floored it. She doesn't fuck about it. She's a petrol head. I said to her, do you want to have a break?

She won't have a little break. She went, breaks are for losers. She went, do you need a break? Do you want to have a wee or something? I think I'm fine. She went, let's keep going. Let's just do it. Oh, this is like Selma and Louise on acid.

Yeah. And then I had to keep her awake with all the gossip. Oh, now I'm really jealous. Now I'm really jealous. Loads of gossip. I bought you got everything sorted. No, he didn't really have any gossip, but I really wanted to. I know, those kind of things.

Do you remember when you had gossip? Yeah, there's no gossip now. That's when I knew who people were and what they were doing. Or when you gave a shit. Like now, even if someone told me a scoop, I'd be like, Pff. Yeah. Don't care.

Don't care. Do you know flim flam seeing wah-wah? No, I don't give a shit. Although I have got a bit of flimflam wah-wai for you. Oh, go on. I can't do it on here, obviously. Do it in signs. Oh yeah, Joel, Joel, or cut it.

Hit me. Anyway, we had about two and a half hours on her. And, uh, yeah. Right, Joel, you've got stuff that could take us right down to Chinatown. We, we dug deep. Um, anyway, we, we could get cancelled. I hope, I hope. I hope if we get cancelled, it's for that bit of information that I've just told it.

I love it that you actually want to get cancelled just, just so you could have a little break. Some point it will happen. and if it's going to happen, I want it to be for that. That's what I want. I want that for me. I want people to go, oh, she seemed all right. And then I found out that she was talking about this

and now she's cancelled. Yeah. No, there is something, there is something to be said for being cancelled because it's an enforced break. People don't want to see you anymore. Yeah. Bye-bye. And you can go, oh, okay, that takes a lot of pressure off.

And there's a bit of me that's like, okay, I was going to happen eventually, fine. Let's do this. Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. I hope you don't get cancelled. I'd miss you.

What, are you counselling me? No, I'm not cancelling you, but I think as a... So you would still see you as a friend, but I mean, as a public figure, I'd miss you. As a public figure. I'd miss your contribution to cultural... To the cultural storyboard. The cultural smorgasbord.

Yeah, I'd be like, ah, it's a shame she got cancelled. It's a shame she's not there in the corner moaning about absolutely fucking everything. We've really missed that. Wow. Who? Who? Harry Godleman, who are we speaking to, or who did we speak to this week in this episode? This is a corker. We spoke to Fatia Al Gorey and oh my God, she delivered all the gold.

I absolutely adore this woman from top to bottom. She's so funny. She's genuinely, in her company, outside of comedy, offstage, all of that is one of the funniest people you ever spend time with. She's just absolute bones of the funny kind. And I really love this chat. Oh man. Great story. It was so, you know, there's so much going on. Her story is so unique. Her life has been crazy, intense. She's had to overcome so many obstacles and she's done it.

I don't even know what to say. You know what? With a plough. She did it with a plumb. Yeah. And she's currently on Taskmaster. She's all over the telly at the moment. She's got a pilot.

Short out, a pilot out. Is it donkey? Yeah. She's on a Dave thing that I. I don't fully understand, but my social media throws it up all the time. She's on a Dave thing. She's on bloody everything. She's absolutely brilliant.

We love her. Sit back, relax and listen to this episode with the wonderful Fatihar El Gori. I'm looking at your pictures. Okay, wait a second. Don't start yet. We are. I mean, this is how we start. No, hang on.

I don't want to start yet because I want to look at the pictures first. Okay. Firstly, I'm very excited. You're here, Fatia. Thank you, bra. No, I'm serious. I was like, yes. She's doing it.

I wanted to do it last time. Do you know what I did? Because I'm an idiot, yeah. Yeah. I don't know where my family albums are. Like I took them from my mum's house. I think I thrown them in the bin. What?

Oh my God, you're the first person that said they chuck photos in the bin. I think so. You could run workshops and doing that because people would be like, just free me from these fucking things. Just chuck them in the bin. Yeah, but in a way, maybe there's life

on the other side of chucking them. Oh, I don't. Now I'm not because people want, you know. But you don't want them, do you? I do. But I don't know where I've put them. I haven't told my mum if I find out. Why would you have chucked them in the bin?

Because I do dumb shit like that. You know, you know, when you put your phone in the fridge and shit like that, put your keys in the bin and put the... Yes, I do know that. Like Mr. Sheen deodorant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of shit. So it wasn't done like in a peak of like, fuck this!

It wasn't thrown out. Yeah, no. Because I declutter and then I think, oh God, when the important things have gone. Do you know what that? Yeah, no, it wasn't that. Why is your mum let you have access to chucking... pictures in the bin.

She had them all at our house and then I needed them for something. And then I took them and then and now they, I don't know where they are. So it was a struggle because you asked me to do this like last year. And I couldn't because I didn't have any pictures. But I was so looking forward to seeing baby Fatia. I know. You haven't got anything like that? No.

I do have one on my phone. Do you want it? Yeah, one is. I quite like the problem solving of I've got no pictures. So I'm just going to say. I like the fact that there's like three, like there's about three. Three or four pictures of you, just like there are a poster of you. Yeah.

And actually you? You went, oh. That'll do. I'll cover, I'll cover key stages one to three. I was really impressed to see you on a bus. I mean, it must be quite thrilling to be on a bus. There's a lot of comedians at them. I've never been on a bus.

Have you never been on a bus? No, I've never been on a bus. You've been on a bus. It must be. How many times have you been on a bus? Just once. That's enough, though, isn't it? Yeah.

I used to dream, you know, at the Edinburgh Festival where you would see comedians on the side of a bus and I just thought, how lucky for them? They paid a fortune. Yeah, I didn't know that. I was like, how lucky for them to be on a bus? I found out how much it cost to be on a bus. And I thought, I don't want to get it.

In that context, it's costing them. But in this, you did a good deed and got on a bus. I'll show you this one and I can send it to you. It's just really blurred. Oh, I don't, sorry, let me. Yeah, but it's a start, it's a start because you can talk about when you were a kid. Oh, shit.

sexy pictures came up, hold on. Whoa! That's the first! Wait! Has not had any sexy pictures. Boom. This is cute. Do you think?

Yeah. Look at my dad with a cigarette in his hand. Yeah, but a lot of us, pictures of our childhood, our parents are smoking. That's just... Between the 70s and 90s, everyone was smoking directly into babies' face. I'm amazed you're not smoking. How old are you in that picture? Oh, maybe like...

I don't know. I don't know. In a little walking device. What a hell? Look at you. You look about two. You're two in that. So where did you grow up?

Where are you in that picture? So, yeah. So how many, where are you in your list of siblings? I'm the 12th one. I've got, there's 13 of us and I'm the 12th. So what is it like growing up in a big family in Hackley? Yeah. It was really fun.

Like there was nine of us in the house, including my parents and siblings and you like, you share bedrooms and some bedrooms had bunk beds. Some bedrooms had like, what is it called? Double beds. Yeah. And so you're either like three of you in a double bed or, you know, sharing a bunk bed or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And it was just fun.

The house was always full. We had meal times together and it wasn't just about eating. It was about catching up on your day. Yeah. And stuff like that. It was proper like family. Yeah, sounds great. It was great.

And you all got on. Yeah, exactly. And we used to tear my dad up because there's three of us born in April. Right. And for you to be born in eight, three siblings born in April. And for you to be born in April, that means you was conceived in summer. So we were like, oh, you were feeling it, well. And my dad's like, I will send you Morocco tomorrow.

You dirty girls. And stuff like that. Did he always find you funny? I was a bit younger. I was younger because he died when I was sick. So we used to always like tease him. I didn't know your dad died when you're so young. When I was young.

So like, but there was always jokes in the house. My sister, my older sister, she'd be like, Fettya, you go and chat to him, disrupt him, like distract him. Yeah. And I'll paint his toenails and she'll go under the table. Oh, brilliant. Do you remember the pools? Did your parents have used to do the football?

Yeah, football. Yeah. And so he'd be doing that and I'd be chatting like shit to him. And he's like, go away. Actually, give me a number. You know, like before you go. I'm like that. And then she'd go under the table and paint his nose.

And we, oh my God, we'd have to run because he would be like, everyone was getting slapped up. Even my brother just walked in and he'd be like, everybody! Like and stuff. So he's a big personality? Yeah, definitely. Big personality. Well, known like in the area and stuff like that. Well, how did he end up in Hackney?

So he came from Morocco. I don't know where they lived when he first came. Right. He came from Morocco and then he brought my mum over. Uh-huh. What sort of year are we saying? I was 79, 78, something like that. And then they came over and then I was, they had me in 81 and we was always in that house.

Like, so yeah. And my mum, like, I was born in the Royal London. Yeah. And that's like, so me and my sister were born there and he died there. And my sister had her two kids there. So it's like a sight. Always like call the big vibe here. You'd think we live in a bloody village or saying.

Yeah. Well, this London has got that vibe. There is a side to East London that is quite a village. Yeah, I think. So I think that about every part of London is like a separate little village. Not Greenford, babe. No. Norway right grew up, mate.

No, suburbs don't count. I feel for your mum. So... Your mum must have been knackered. So my mum was knackered, but then she didn't have all those kids. All at the same time? No, she didn't, they're not all hers. Oh, right, okay.

So this is something I don't, one stage, I just, because I see them as all my siblings. Because we grew up together. Yeah. So my dad was married before my mum and he had eight with that lady. And then she passed away. God, rest her soul. Yes. And then my mum was married before my dad and she had three.

And then they got divorced. Then they met in Morocco. Fell in love. How was that like your mom being divorced? Like, was that, is that? Because in, in, I grew up as Catholic. And even like Catholic's like, you're not allowed to get divorced. Yeah, yeah.

And you can't. accept communion and all of that stuff. What's it like for being, because you're a devout Muslim, aren't you? Yeah. So what's it like being a Muslim and then having a divorce? Was that difficult for your, for your mum? When I got divorced or her or.

We're going to come to that later. You've jumped divorced. You're going to go to that later. But your mum is a different time. Yeah, I think it was, I don't, so like in our faith, so this, so this comes back to faith, we have the prophet right and the prophet you're supposed to follow his example he set a lot of

examples and he married loads of different women like women that were older than him more successful women that were divorced so that is supposed to remove that taboo right so there isn't the same stigma as there is in the catholic there no but people have that stigma but the faith doesn't have that stigma right do you see what i'm saying yeah yeah totally so it's a cultural thing rather than a religious that's right and there is again you've got that misogyny and the patriarchy, like used goods kind of. Right. You know, that exists in all.

That's in everywhere. In every community. So you do get some men that will be like, no, I don't want. I've had men on dating ups going, I want to marry a virgin or writing on their profile, virgin under 21. I'm like, good luck with that. And then, honestly, I'm like, 62 with no teeth. This is it.

I want a virgin, babe. I want a virgin. I can clip. my toe knows like fuck off like you know what I mean just like yeah so you get you do get um there is that that I don't know it's I know I think it's like misogyny and patriarchy which yeah which is which is everywhere yeah this is it's societal exactly but there is that example of there's nothing you know and then also in Islam we have that God created you in pairs so everyone has their pair is that right yeah so everyone has their pair you mean like a partner like a soulmate yeah yeah

Everyone, you're created like that. So with another pair, there will be, everyone's got someone. Right. You know. And then you could divorce them and get another one. Well, maybe you marry someone and they're not the one. So you have to find them. And did it feel like your mother and dad, when they found each other, they were so many?

Yes. Really? Yeah, they were. Like, my mom and dad, they wake each other up to pray in the night. They pray together. At the time, I remember being young, we didn't have like landlines. And my dad would be like, I'm going to go to work. and he was a hospital porter and he'd go,

I'm going to come back and I'm finishing. Not the Royal Free. No. The Royal London. It's a lot of going to London. No. And then so he would be like to my mum, he'd be like, I'm coming. I'm finishing work at 2.30.

Be ready at 3.30. I'm going to take you on a date. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Stuff like that. They've got pictures of like, do you remember in like Trafalgar Square where you used to be able to feed the pigeons?

Yeah. And my mom's screaming her nut off and him going, stop, like trying to give her like the bird seed. and things like that. So they used to do that. And then my siblings would look after us while they went out. It was so romantic. Yeah, she used to, I remember being young and she used to go,

Daddy's coming and we go to the window and we'll watch my dad walk across the estate. And we'd be like waving and stuff like that. And she's all like, mm. So serious. Yeah, it's nice. And I like, I don't really talk about this kind of stuff, but I like to because people think like Muslims are like so strict and, you know. Also, you'd imagine it's hard work with so many kids.

Yes. To make time for each other as a couple. Yes. You all seem to really dig each other and make each other laugh and love each other and enjoy each other. So you don't describe it in a like stressful way. Yeah, no. It was probably stressful for my mum, but we had a great time. Who were you as a young teenager growing up in Hackney as a young adolescent in the 90s?

Oh, what was that like? Oh, it was great. We had like, growing up in Hackney was so nice. Like the estate we lived on was so mixed. we had like a massive mix of like people in terms like I remember there was this guy he was Nigerian and he was married to a Greek lady and a Jewish lady right and they both had kids with him and they all lived in one house I was like yeah so I was like see my family they ain't got shit on my family like you know what I mean and you could tell whose kids were who

and then we had like Malaysian family Bangladeshi yeah Afro-Caribbean all and everyone played together English Irish everything we all played together one One boy had a bike. There was a Colombian family. Everyone rode the bike. All shared our suites. It was a great time. And then we moved from Hackney into Bethnal Green and then everything changed. Why? Because it was very racist. Very, very racist. Just from Hackney to Bethelne Green. For people who don't know London. That's just up the road. That's literally like up the road. And that's what we did. We literally crossed over Hackney Road. We lived on one side of Hackney Road and we just went over the other side. Because I mean, Mayor Street is one end and then Bethel Green Road up the other end. Yes. Why was there such a difference? I don't know. It was still, it was really racist. Like, we used to shit, they used to get their dogs to like shit on our door every day for like 10 years.

And you could have, like racist. Set their dogs on you, certain streets you couldn't go down and stuff because you'd get attacked. It was very BMP and National Front. Was it? And all that. I mean, I know that, I know that Bethel Green has, the way, the way I remember Bethel Green is having quite a big Irish community, having a big Asian and Afro-Caribbean community. I don't really remember there being like a plethora of like.

But then I suppose I lived there much later. But when it was more mixed than like. But yeah, that was tough. And then like. Used to be the, that's where there was that boxing gym. That's where the craze used to go. Yes. Back in the 60s.

That's mad though to move from like, one end of an area to another and then just have such contrasting experiences. Because your first description of a really happy, you know, totally multicultural mixed estate. And then what you just said about the racism just up the road, it's like that's the side of London that sometimes blows my mind. Yes. But you can just have that kind of cheat by Jow and it can be an amazing thing.

I did this. See, I really like to hear about stories about. estate life that is positive that's not just, because it can get a lot of shit estates and people can be like, oh, don't go through that estate or blah blah, blah. And it's bollocks because I have known what you've just said about people saying,

hang on what, it's a real tight community and kids play out and sometimes around where I live kids don't play out anywhere other than on the estates. And you're like, why are kids not playing out anywhere? I think because also with the estate, the kids are like They're looking after each other. Yeah, well, they're looking up for each other but also within a certain confines of an area.

It's not just like a street. You know, they've got like, often it's like, you know. Yeah, safe from traffic. By like the actual flats and, you know, parents can see them and the kids can all hang out together in a gang. And it's sort of. But that was a little bit more. That's what I just wish sometimes was celebrated or said more about

because there is a bit of a crappy sort of version of things where people can be a bit anti-estates or they think they're rough or they think they're there. And it's like, that's not the case. But also, I think even when I was a kid, we used to go and play out on the street. Yes. We'd say to my mum, we're just going to go and play out on the street.

And we just, oh, and there was a bundle of kids around and we'd just, and we'd go knock on whoever's door. Yeah. And then we'd all play out on the street. And then now, I don't know what there is. It seems to be like stranger danger. Like kids are not safe at all. They're on devices.

Yeah. Yeah, they are on devices as well. But I also think parents are really reluctant to let their children out. Yeah. It's scary. And yet they'll let them be online and get on the dark web. Yeah, that's a... Yeah, I know.

So it is a different world. What were you, what did you want to do? Did you know that you wanted to be a performer? Yeah. Did you do any drama or anything? Yeah. When I was young, I used to do ballet in school. Yeah.

Not, I didn't, it wasn't ballet. It was like, um, tap dancing. All the dancing. Chats, were there ribbons? Well, I did, yeah. Yeah. But I didn't used to do it. I used to do it.

I used to watch the kids. because you had to buy the shoes and they were expensive and we couldn't afford it because we was like working class poor. So I just used to watch them through the glass. That's a lot. What? I just said that little baby. Yeah.

So yeah, so that was that. And then I did just to go to like homework, not homework club. You know, like after school club. But it was different now. And now it's like, what's that, what's it called? Like before, it was just an extension of the school if you wanted to go to it. Yeah. But now people send their kids there if they're working and that.

Yeah. It's that homework club. Yeah. And it's called wrap around care. That's the phrase is it. Wrap around. That's the new term. Oh yeah.

It's breakfast club. Yeah. Yeah. That's another one. But we know it is after school club. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

That's it. And then you would go and just doing like performance. performances there and stuff like that. And art, I was very arty as well. I used to love doing, one time I drew this picture. It was awful. And my brother came, like, we did a little display. And my brother came and he brought it.

And I was like, I'm sorry. What was it all? It was like Adams, you know the, what's it called Adam's Apple? What am I talking about? It's not Adam's Apple. The giant, the big giant. Big green giant from the corn adverts. Like, you know, the Jack and the Bean store?

Yeah, that's it. Oh, Jack of the Beast. Yeah, that's what, I don't know why I can't. Am I having a stroke? Are you having a stroke? I think you very much entered the Perry. You need to get to the Royal London. You've got to get on the HRT.

That's what's going to help you out, mate. But you always knew you wanted to do creative stuff. Yes. So what did you do after you left school? So when I left school, I went to college and I did English literature, performing arts and design technology. Right. And then I did a half A level in dance.

Right. I didn't finish that. I love that you did a half A level and a half a level. Yeah. Was that calls an AS level? Yeah. I don't do those anymore. So you were just feeling out what area of sort of creating fields you wanted.

I always felt like I wanted to be like an actress, something on stage. But I always felt I couldn't as a Muslim because I felt they always wanted like even nudity or for you to kiss someone. Right. Or something like that. And you weren't seeing anything where that was represented in any. way to give you a sense that... Not at all. I don't think it was, was it? Not at all. And do you know what? I wanted to...

So I have a short that I've done with the BBC and it's coming out on the 1st of May. And it's about my life and like... Short doesn't feel long enough. I need to see a feature. Well, let's hope... Let's get that to it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, commission it. Short is part one. Yes. Exactly.

It's that... What's it called? Apertief. Aperative. Aperative. And it's about you as a kid? No, not as a kid as like me being like this divorced woman, trying to find love, working in her family's restaurant, trying to run it. Is that? So, no, that's not true.

Okay. I didn't, this is what I mean, it's like semi, I mean, being divorced is true. So when was your first marriage where we're in your story now? I was 23. So you'd left college. No, no. I, sorry, yeah. So I did, well, the reason why I brought that up, the short is because I'm representing myself.

And someone that looks like, you know, I mean, I'm wearing my hijab. Yeah, yeah. Like this ain't a costume. You know, I don't take it off as soon as I leave this room, guys. Sorry. I'm sorry. I wear it all the time. Actually, when I leave this room, my name's Jessica.

She's blonde. Exactly. Yeah, she takes it off this mane of curly blonde hair. This is it. I'm going to, what's it called confession after this, actually. So, and you know, you can't be something if you don't see it. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying?

So I always knew, I was like, oh, I can't, I'm not going to be able to do this because as a Muslim, they're going to want me to do this, this and this and I can't do it from my faith. I can't do it. And so, yeah, anyway, so that's that. You got a right at yourself. Got a right in myself, fight to for now to get somewhere and stuff. So, yeah. So anyway, I left and then started like working and stuff like that.

And then when I was 23, I got married. Who's this guy? Miss that asshole. I know him I feel like to make me asshole he've all men so yeah

I got married 23's young very young it was an arranged marriage but not a forced one so when I say arranged I mean like when people here arrange marriage

they start to I'm like oh my God oh my God they made her do it I'm like no nobody nobody can make me do anything you fuckers don't know me

if you did you'd know that was not possible right right right yeah right yeah kick off in green rooms and

um And so, yeah, so it was like, you know, like, for example, if I, if you were single and I was like, oh, I've got a friend that I think, it was that kind of thing. But it didn't work. Yeah, no, it did. How long were you married for? Five years. Oh, that's a long time. Oh, I thought you were going to say, like, five minutes.

No, no. And then it ended really badly. Like, I had to leave the situation like that. And then I left with just the clothes on my back. And then I ended up in a women's shelter for like four years. Oh, wow. That's a lot. Yeah, it was a lot.

And then got back on my feet slowly and then... Where was the shelter? In Whitechapel. Right. So you were still in this sort of area. Could you... I mean, obviously your family knew where you were but... Yeah.

I mean, that's a really difficult time where you have to like almost be in hiding. Yeah. Haven't you? Yeah. How did you get by during that whole period? Because four years is a really long time to be in hiding. Yeah. It was tough.

Like, I think a lot of it. I saw some things there that you, like I'll never forget and like, and I still, I don't think I've still processed it or anything even to this day and I'm 44, like, so I think like, I don't know, it was, I leaned a lot on faith, a lot on faith. And there was a few good people in there, but it was tough, man. You end up seeing a totally different side of life and you're just like, you know, the way people get treated, the, like, the disrespect, like, they get treated like shit because they're homeless or because they've got.

addictions and anyone can be homeless you know it can start oh yeah just from missing your rent and then bang you're in this place and bang you start drinking bang you're doing drugs bang some girls taking some man's house for him to fuck you so she can get drugs all this that that's how quickly it can spiral so quickly so i think yeah faith and also like just remembering where i came from like i was going to say that must have been a comfort to know that you to have that experience after you've grown up in such a happy home and like community. And then to find yourself in this really starkly different home situation, really tough. And you see like I said, people using each other and all that kind.

It was tough. But I got through it. I don't know by the grace of God. Honestly, I really leaned into my faith a lot. Yeah. And then like I said, I found a few like good people there who I'm still in contact with and stuff like. And sometimes there's girls I remember being there that were in.

there for the same reason that I was or for, you know, just different stuff, but not addiction. And then I see them in my local Sainsbury's like begging because now they're on drugs. Like it can spiral very quickly. Yeah. Well, there's no system to catch. No,

there isn't. And there's no support and it's tough, you know. And people don't look at you as human. You become like it's like, oh well if you really wanted it, you would do it. It's like, no, these girls are on drugs because there's a reason. Like they're running from a load of shit. Like they're not and they're like people take advantage of them particularly like men and stuff like that so it's

tough i saw some really stuff that you makes you see life and the world completely different like proper and how vulnerable people can be and how exploited they can yeah yeah so that was tough then but we also had good times like we had we used to do stuff like um international women's day and then we're like we all everybody cooked different foods and we all came together and we used to have like institutions and organizations that would come in and like do like um makeover days and they would do like your nails and cut your hair whatever you wanted and all that kind of stuff so we did there was like a sisterhood but you always had to keep your eye out always be careful always and stuff like that just watch watch yourself and that but um i do feel bonded to them even all the girls even

the girls that i still see that are still on drugs and stuff like that i still feel like because they'll only will know what happens there yeah yeah what i mean you know what i mean So there's that bond. I know obviously with regard to safety, there has to be a certain amount of protection. But there also needs to be an acknowledgement that those spaces are so needed. And they're so undervalued and funded. And underfunded because the funding got taken away. Yeah.

I mean it is, you know, and like you say, the community, again, it's back to community. And it's back to talking about how people need each other. People really need each other. and I don't understand why our society is just so bizarrely. Individualist. Individualist. It's capitalism, babe. Yes.

It's neoliberalism. Yes. It's what we've been living with our entire lives. But I think it's really important to be able to, like you said, just even talk about it. I mean, Fatya, I did not know all of that. I sort of knew a bit of it, but I did not know that. Do you keep that side of it off stage? You don't talk about that on stage.

Yeah, I don't really talk about that. Because there's, I can't find a joke in it. I haven't 100%. processed it. But maybe through script writing as well, it might not come out in the stand-up context, but it definitely would come out in a storytelling. For sure. It's still a bit raw.

I've written stuff about it. Yes. And also, you probably don't want to be sort of glib or like too light-hearted about things that you feel very strongly about. And also, like you said, if you haven't processed it yet, although I do think even in the writing, even if no one sees it and it's never seen by anyone, I do feel like writing is a really great way to help you process stuff. But anyway, I would love to read it if you wrote it.

Okay, girl, I'll send it to you. I'll send it to you. Don't cry. Don't call me blaming me for making you cry. But that's the best stuff. It's the stuff that makes me cry and the stuff that winds me up and the stuff that makes me laugh. I need some feeling something.

Totally. Do you what I mean? This is quite the journey for you and you're still a young woman. You're still in your 20s. Shut up. At this point. No, in the story. Oh, sorry.

Just the like the tiny little stand-up vibes, is this now not, there's no stand-up going on. No, there's none. So how the hell do you get from coming out of a women's shelter, you've gone through a really traumatic time. You're rebuilding your life. You're like late 20s. What's your next step? What'd you do next? So then I got back on my feet and then I've done something so dumb.

Like I met a guy and got married again. I know I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb that didn't last long that lasted like three years but I went into it too quickly like I shouldn't have

but he wasn't like he was just the idiot like he was just the dickhead you know what I mean but not benevolent like no not like the other guy no he was just a fool and I was just like bye brother

I ain't got time for this shit so it could have been a nice thing if he hadn't involved getting married yeah could have been a fun fling with an idiot and then you went on I've gone out with an idiot. There's not much going on between.

Yeah, this is it. This is it. So then, and then that was it. And then when I got divorced, I was like, oh, I wanted to, because I feel like sometimes when you're in a relationship, you do end up obviously giving a lot to the relationship because you want to cultivate it. And sometimes like you're, you're the stuff that you want ends up going on the back burner because you're focusing on trying to build this thing and stuff like that.

And that's what I was doing, I felt. And then when he left and then, sorry, when I, when I ended. it, not when he left, when I ended it, okay. Just make sure who does it. We have that in big letters, please, when she ended it. So you ended this second marriage. Yes. And then, so how old are we?

So we're back on the story. And then none of this has got anything to do with these pictures. At what point did that camera turn up? We're not even going to bother with the pictures. I want to know, when did you do your first stand-up comedy game? And how the hell did you get to that? So I was on this meet-up thing, right? And I was looking for walking groups.

Oh, yeah. And then you know you get those pop-up adverts. I haven't been on meet-up, and I will be after this conversation. It pops up on the side. It'll be like, what about this course? What about that course? What a do-da-da-da-da, and all this. Yeah, and one popped up and said, why don't you try to stand up?

And I was like, why don't I try to stand up? Yeah. And then I done it. And then it was like a 12-week course. And like, this is the thing with these courses. They don't, nobody can teach you how to be funny. You either got to the way. I did a course.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, because it gives you a safe space to play. Yeah. That's what it's for. networking and techniques. Totally. And it builds your confidence. But you're funny already.

You've got funny bones. Thank you. You have got funny bones. You're a funny bone. That's what my, what's it? Orthopaedic surgeon says. Sorry, I was just being a man there, and that's what meant. It's a good bone joke.

Solid bone joke. What was I going to say? You're the only person now from the modern world of algorithms that said the inspiration to become a comedian was from literally a pop-up on a social media like you're the only person like it just pops up on my

algorithm why don't you try to be a stand-up we get, why don't you pack in stand-up why don't you drop stand? That's amazing. That's brilliant. So yeah and then Matt was it and then I did it and then like

Where did you do the course? It was I can't, I think it was somewhere in North London I cannot remember Right. And as soon as you did it? Very. As soon as you did it, you were like, this is it, this is me. Yeah, I was like, I want to do more.

And then I started like, so I was working full time. What year was this? Patia. Do you remember? I can't remember. It was like 10 years ago. Okay, so like 2014. Something like that, yeah.

Wow, that's really not that long ago. No, super recent. And you just started going on the open mic? Yeah, I started going on the open mic, because it was hard to get on, but I persevered. And got representation pretty quick. No. No. No.

I've only had representation for maybe like three years. Right. Since then it has been pretty meteoric. Yeah. Because suddenly you've just been on buses. Boom. There she is. Can I just get it back on these pictures?

What the fuck is going on it? Okay. So when I used to work in office, yeah. Yeah. We had a competition. every Christmas for the best costume. Right. You went as a Christmas tree.

I went as a Christmas tree. And you won? No, I came second. Have you wrapped AstroTurf around you? No. It's like green light brown. He's got AstroTurf vibes because I was like, don't you've smashed that?

Do you know what? I've actually had lights underneath my hijab. Like, not in that one. Oh, wow. I'm telling you, I sent you two pictures and one of them's got the lights on it. Yeah. And I was actually turning them on and off. How you give me second place?

Are you fucking mad? I should have won. You really thoughtly gone for it. I wanted to do my nut man. I was like, you people are going to die tonight. Who came first then? What fucker came back? I don't know who it was.

It was the chief executive's office. And you know what their thing was? They all wore a face, his face. That is so fucking lame. No, that's rubbish. That's what I'm saying. No, that's really committed to that. This is it.

And you're on brand and you're on theme. Exactly. Color, cut everything. And I wore, I did the Great British Bake-O, no, I did not do that.

I did the Great British Sowing Bee and I wore that. Oh! Yeah, and Patrick loved it, guys. So it was a Christmas special? You did the Sowing Bee as well. Yes, I did this years before, this Christmas tree,

but when they told me to come to do, and I was like, I know what I'm going to do. I've got previous. Exactly. I've got some Christmas previous. I wish I'd gone through the two barriers when you were all over the game. Oh, my mum.

Did you? Oh, I would have loved to. I never saw that. I didn't see that. So your mum was like, saidu? This was in like 2018 or something. 2018? Yeah.

And you were all over. Yeah, all over the first. Is this through Ramadan? Yes. It was a Ramadan appeal. It was for charity. For Zaka? Yes.

Because one of the pillars of Islam is... charity. Yeah. And so that was a poster to promote people to give charity and stuff like that. And which is called Zacat. And they put me on this billboard near my mom's house. You know the bow round, a bow flyover. My mom lives near there.

And they put me on the billboard. And my mom was like, Fertih. She was going past the car. She was like, Fertih. She was crying. And then I went in a family WhatsApp group because one of my brothers works for Formula One. And I was like, you work for Formula One. My sister's a nurse.

But do you have a billboard though? No. And mic drop. That is quite special, isn't it? Especially if you, Mom could see it from her flat. Yeah, she was so happy. She was like, oh, Fertih, I'm so proud of you. And then people were sending me going, oh, look, I've just walked through your face.

I'm like, shut up, bro. Who's this camel? Us this camel. Well, I have an affinity with camels. I love camels. Oh, do you? I do, because I went to drama school and I was a camel for a term. So I feel like I connected with camels.

That's how we connect. because I was a camel for a term. You've both been camels. I think Macy Adams might have been a camel as well. I think I've met other people. It's a thing at drama school where you have to be an animal. And I've met more than one person that was a camel. Why did we choose camels?

I think because their tempo is quite slow. They're very pleasing creatures. They're quite grumpy. Yeah. Bingo. You and me are quite grumpy. Eye lashes, though. Eyelashes.

Yeah. Lots of chewing. Yes. Just physically quite, I don't know. Anyway, who's this camel? So that camel, so I'm Morocco. Yeah. And in Morocco, we are from a town, a fishing town.

It's called Larachch. Probably about, if you go to Ladbrook Grove, nearly everyone from there is from La Ratch. So we go there and I love it. I love the beach. I love it. We live like 10 minutes. Then it's Aware that kind of, our total other end. It's in the north.

It's just at the Tangier. It's a small town. It's not touristic. You'll only know it if you're like from there or if you've got friends from there and that and they take you. And it's small. You can walk around it in a day.

And I love the difference between being London which is like insanely busy and then the nice, quiet, quality pace, slow pace. Yeah. Like time there. Yeah. And we've been going there since we were young so I know all the places.

And I remember like, yeah, it's just when you, I remember there's these two lions. We always used to, it's called Chardil Sboa. Chardil means garden. That might be Spanish. I'm not sure. I don't think it is Arabic.

But like, Chardil means an in Svua. Hardin is Spanish. It's Spanish. Yeah. Because we were colonised by them. So we have Spanish and French. Well,

there's a lot of Spanish and Arabic words that are similar. Yes. Or the same. Yeah. Yes. And then when I remember going as a child and be like, oh, it's so big. And now I go, I'm like, what?

You know, and stuff. So we always go to the beach. The beach is my favorite. I go there. When I go Morocco, I'm always there. I have to. to get a tan. Right.

And they have these camels walking along, which I never get on them. I love it that you say it's your favourite and yet your face that's like utterly pissed on. Like you're waiting for us. What's the deal with the camels? I love camels. I love camels.

I love camels. Don't trust my face as an indicator of whether I'm having a good time. Well, my cousin's daughter's on there. So like she's on the camel. Oh, yes, I see. Just a leg. Yeah. Oh.

I'm just taking it. But I'm all about the water. I need to be in the water. I'm swimming and stuff. Yeah, it's so lovely. She swims every day in the sea. You're so lucky. Not every day.

Well, every other day then. Well, she swims in the sea a lot. I want to live near, I want to live near the sea. But, you know, sometimes I remember once we went and I was swimming out, I was like a good swimmer and I was going out and there was a current and I didn't feel it. Oh, like a riptide? Yeah. Rips, you can't feel them.

Until you're out. This is what happens. That terrifies me. I just went one, two, three and I turned around to look at my family. and they were this big. Oh shit. And I shits myself. They pull you right out.

You've got to swim across. That's what I did. I swam across and I ended up all the way across the other side on the beach and then I had to walk back. And then you must have been scary. Scary. But I went with it. I went like you said going that way. Because you knew to do that.

Yes. Because my friend had an episode where she didn't know what to do and she... That's how you drown. Yes. You just got to let it either let it take you out and then eventually it'll take you out and you'll swim back or you just go across it and just keep swimming. until you eventually come out the other one of it. But if you go against it, you can't. No, you'll die.

That's how you end up. The reason why you end up drowning is because you get tired. And they can happen anywhere? They can happen anywhere. And they're really hard. Like Jen said, you won't feel it. You don't feel it at all. I got caught in one in Australia.

Oh, really? Yeah. And it was really, really. It took me right out. But there was a guy on the beach and he led me back in. He told me which way to swim and he led me back in. And then gave me such a bollicking when I got out. What are you doing out there?

Wow. Why don't you sweep between the flags? Get him home? I was like, I'm very traumatised. Give me his number. I love that shit. I love aggressive. Don't do that.

You don't need any more of that shit. You've had two divorces. And what was it going to say to you? You've never had it in Brighton? No, you don't tend to get them in Brighton because you've got it because it's sort of quite enclosed. It's usually when the beaches are quite long. and sandy and then the currents create these kind of like furrows in the sand and that's where the rips will be then then the water will channel through this funnel

and that will be the thing that you get caught out so on wide sandy beaches like camber sands you're going to get loads of rips around there oh god they're really scary so you know like Western super mayor places like that that's where you're going to get lots of rips or in like that's why they always tell you in places like Cornwall and Dev and swim between these flags because we know there aren't any you're not going to get caught in a of it. Thank you for all those things. Thank you.

Sharing all that with us. It's amazing. What an amazing life. Oh, thank you. Tell us what you're up to. What can we expect to see you on the television? Are you on tour? What are you doing?

Tell us everything. So I'm doing, I've got my short coming out, which is called Donkey, which is coming out on the 1st of May as well. Right. On BBC Free, you can get that on I player. and then I've got, there's a show that I did called Silence is Golden and it's a bit like it's, the audience have like 250 grand and then we have all these variety acts that come out and try to make them laugh.

This isn't a thing with Dermot-Ollery, is it? Yes. Oh, yes, that's come up on my do-Dar. Does that come up as a pop-up? Yes, it's a come up with a pop-up because I follow you, so I've seen the bits and pieces. Oh, wow, that sounds exciting. Yeah, there's a lot going on. There's a lot.

It's all coming out at the same time. It's all coming out on the 5th of May. On you and Dave. And then you can, on the date comes out, you can also stream it as well. So you don't have to wait. For you impatient fuckers out there. Yeah. So yeah.

And so yeah, there's a lot coming out. There's a lot. That is exciting. Fatia, thank you so much. As always, I adore you. It's a pleasure to have you on in Memory Lane. I love you. I love you.

Thank you for having me. And this is a great podcast. Thank you for having me. Oh, well. Sorry I was late. Guys, I went to Lever Lane. Lever Lane. This is Lever Street or some shit.

Why are there all these streets? it's called leather. Are we in the fucking farm or something? Like, what's going on? No, you're right. But it's so annoying when you go to the wrong place. I know. Forest Hill, Forest Gate.

Oh, Fortford, Hereford. These are all Sean Walsh were saying. I was just about to say, Sean Walsh. Maidenhead, Maidstone. Yes. Yes. You've all done, Maidenhead, Made Stone. Jen.

I mean, you know shit. You know tech shit. I think if you're going to say, I know shit. You're absolutely right. I know shit all about most things. Yeah. But I do. I do know shit. You're right. You're right to acknowledge that and recognise that and highlight that. Platform it. Exactly. It's kind of intimidating and inspiring in equal measure. I feel the same when I see your social media content. I feel the same. I feel intimidated. I feel overwhelmed. I mean, it's dazzling. It's disdling. It's dazzling the high-tech approach I'm doing. Yeah, what I like is the latest reel to advertise your, well, just to talk about your tour.

In fact that you're going to be at the Clapham Grand in London, going to buy a ticket to see Kerry. She's brilliant. Thank you. Okay. But it's a lot to unpack. What I want to, okay. Can I just ask a question straight out the gate?

Did you like my compost bin? I didn't really feel like Frank gave it enough. No, I agree. It got a little bit of screen time, didn't it? It did get a little bit of screen time, and I appreciated it, but something about you. I built this, and then it was gone. I look at what I built, it's gone.

But what I did like was the proximity of the camera... Right in my face. To your face. I thought that was an interesting director. And you can really see my age in that I haven't had work done. I feel like it was the kind of camera angle that only a son or daughter. can bring to a real of one of their parents. Yep, actually.

And I am now, I've booked into a clinic. And I did not posting it because I thought, come on, Kerry, have some measure of vanity. Have some regard for your public, you know, persona. Yeah. And then I thought, oh, fuck it. I need to shift those tickets. I mean, I think.

I would buy a ticket off the back of that. Great. And I think that's what it's for. I thought the existential questions were a bit much. Why do you want people to care? Why would anyone leave their house to watch comedy? Why? Why, Kerry?

These are the questions we ask ourselves every day as comedians. I've got to be honest. As I was watching it, I was having a crisis. I don't know. I don't know, France. Why? I don't know. He has got a point.

Does he know why? Because I don't know why. No. But he's at that age now. I can sort of vaguely remember being that age where you've discovered philosophy, where you've got a sense of, you know, the literal, like, meaning of, or you don't really understand it, but you're asking a lot of questions. He said, if joy ends, why start it?

I don't want to talk about this. I mean, look. I think this is useful for you because your boys. How? Because your kids are going to be like it. You know how they're little now and young and hopeful and magical and joyful. The magical, joyful. Yeah.

Well, it ends. It ends. When they hear puberty, it's just, it's really abrupt. And then you, and then they start asking you questions like, what is joyful? Why do you want people to care about happiness? And you're like, fucking hell. Yeah. Why can't we just play Monopoly or like have a laugh?

I know, where's the support group for this? Who are you talking to? I just sit in his room reading old Julia Donaldson books crying. I just sit and remember when he was little and he was just a lovely happy child. Yeah, whilst reading that one about the little fish that goes missing. Oh, I love that one. What's it called? Oh, what's that one?

Tiddler was a fish with a big imagination. Tiddler. Did you get the tune from? Because we got the CD. We had it on a lot of car journeys. It's Amelda Staunton singing the songs. Is it? Yeah, a lot of Julia Donaldson's come in musical form because they're like written the songs.

Tiddler. It's Tidler. Tidler. Tidler's the one. Absolute Banger, that one. We had a lot of time with Tiddler, but I made up the tune and it was, I'll be honest with you, had a lot less, well, I'll say tune, actually. There was no real tune to it.

Don't do yourself down. You play the guitar. You've got a really musical. Oh, yeah. I haven't touched it since. Hey, listen, it's over there somewhere. Look, in that mess. Under that pile of shit.

Oh, yeah, there is. There it is. Yeah, it's not tuned. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast. What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question.

Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean?

What did you do? do yesterday. I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Every single word this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? Like, that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.