Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E14: Chloe Radcliffe

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

"I was so full (of $300 of sushi)... I pulled over on the bridge and tried to make myself sick..." We have the brilliant Chloe Radcliffe on the pod this week chatting about the state of America, debate club, moving to NYC, prepping and so much more... You can catch Chloe (if you are quick) at the Soho Theatre this weekend - https://sohotheatre.com/events/chloe-radcliffe-cheat/ - Her show is absolutely brilliant!  Also on the pod - Kerry and Jen chat about the pros and cons of childbirth... soooooo funny.... JEN & KERRY STAND-UP TOURSKerry's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728Jen's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.jenbrister.co.uk/tour/ PHOTOSPHOTO 1: DEBATE CLUBPHOTO 2: HOME (MINNESOTA) PHOTO 3: NYC AND MEPHOTO 4: SUSHI DATEPHOTO 5: MELTED ICE-CREAM CAKE PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel PorterHosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light MediaSales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. My mum came to see me do my show on Friday. Oh, how was that? She was fine, she was great. Was it okay?

Well, it can be tense when your parents come. And she was lovely and she said that was great and she was very proud of me or whatever. But then she, but I think, but then, I think the anger in my show, and my show this time is quite, it's quite cross. It's a lot of anger in this one. Yeah, but like faux anger.

Yeah, I think it's faux anger. But my mum, you're like, oh, you seem really angry. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. He's angry. It's an angry show. I've just, I just want you to switch on the TV. look at the news because there's quite a lot to be angry about it.

It's so much anger. And also, I've always found anger. This is why I love you as a comedian. Yeah. I find anger really funny. I think anger's hilarious. The more angry someone is, the funnier. I think also as women of a certain age,

we should celebrate our connection with our anger. Do you know what I mean? I agree. Because we've got to the point now where I used to try to hide it. Yeah, no good thing. The only problem with expressing it and really expressing it is you do tend to lose your voice a bit

I've really found it, it's wallop my vocal. Well, look, that's on you. I do warm up. Because you're an actor. Yeah, no, I warm up. Or you're not doing vocal warm-ups. What are you doing? Red lorry, yellow-lory.

What else are you doing? And then like, oh, what else am I doing? No, that's not going to help you. Yes, it is. It's not going to help this. Jen. That's not going to help. That's a vocal warm up.

Yeah, but that's going to help. That isn't going to help you lose your voice. And then I'm doing it supported. Golden thread. What's that? Your breast support. Using your breath. Extending the breath.

Didn't you do this with childbirth, with Chloe, golden thread? A golden thread. No. Blowing golden thread through the mouth, extending the breast. Anything like that, I switched off. Wow. I was a great partner you are. What was I.

supposed to do? I wasn't going to be the one bringing in and out. You know. You switched off while your partner was giving birth. Kerry. Let me know when it's over. You know how present I am. I'm only ever present. That's something that I can offer everyone.

You can't claim to be present just because your memory's shit and you can't remember the past. I'm very much in here and now. I'm very much not in the future or in the past. What are we doing now? Okay. Giving birth! That's what we're doing now. And we're breathing golden thread.

Do you know what? It didn't matter. She had a C-section. Oh, yes. So actually, it just as well I didn't waste all my energy breathing in and out with a golden thread. I did all the meditations, all the, what they called hypnotherapy. Yeah. All that stuff.

I took, me and Ben went to hypno birthing rehearsals. He trod on the doll. He trod on the baby. I was like, that's not a good sign, is it? That's not like. We were walking around the room in a group being like, you know, expectant parents. Well, you're walking around a baby. Because when you're in labour, you've got to keep moving.

haven't you? But why is there a baby on the floor? Because the teacher, whatever the proper word, midwife. Dooler? The woman teacher taking the group. I don't know. To demonstrate some of the sort of positioning of the baby and so on, she used a doll.

Like a baby. I wasn't expecting her to use an actual baby. No, Ben Trod on it. So thank Christ it wasn't a real baby. Okay. Because we were walking around doing the birth rehearsing thing. And then he trod on it. And he trod on the baby.

Like, wow. Wow. This isn't good. What was the feedback? Don't do that. I gave. I was like, you get on the fucking. Now you're going to make us to look really shit.

They're going to think you're going to tread on every real baby. Yeah, it's not a good sign. No. But you learn. We learn. Yeah, there's a good lesson. Don't tread on the baby. Yeah, that's one of the lessons I didn't think anyone would need to learn.

There's a lot of like emotions, isn't there in that kind of first pregnancy thing? Look, there was, Chloe did get, was given. This is when we had a CD player. So this will tell you, this was ages ago. But she had like a hypno CD woman. I tell you what we did. We used to play it in the car. She was like, I don't think you're meant to play hypnotherapy in the car.

I think they often say at the beginning, don't do this driving a car. Well, I wasn't really, that woman's voice was never going to make me go to sleep. I was livid. She was so annoying. I was like, please. That's the reverse effect. I'm fucking shit. Oh, no, I loved it.

You loved it? Oh, I love doing hypnotherapy. You are on the beach and your baby is on across the sea. And you need to cross the lake. the labor sea, I'm paraphrasing, you need to cross the sea of labor and there will be a storm. Yeah, I'm out. And you will ride the waves, the contractions are waves. The way you're doing it, you don't have an American accent. So this woman was like, Oh, no, you should have got a British one. So she was like that, hi. No. And now your baby is making

its way across the water. You are making your way across the water. No. Breathe in, breathe out. Everybody, I'm like, fuck you. Yeah, that's. You are annoying. You should have had me doing it. I'd have done it. I could have just sent you a voice note. Absolutely no. You're breathing.

You're breathing. You're breathing. I'm a believer in the hipno. I know. I know. I liked it. Good for you. Yeah.

It was a, I wouldn't call it a laugh. What? You mean pushing out a humor out of the whole size of a five-pence piece? I would say it was a tight 20. It was tight. But I didn't freak out. I didn't freak out. Right.

And that's because of the hypnosis. Are there a therapist? Oh really? Yes, I didn't have like, I didn't get overly anxious. How long was the labour? Really long. For Elsie? Yeah, really long.

How long? Like 20 hours. Jesus Christ. I ended up, like, I ended up in an ambulance going to Lewisham Hospital because I tried to have her at home. Right. And I was quite calm. Yeah.

And then the midwife went, this baby's not coming out. We're going to have to get an ambulance. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Did you have to have like, four-seps suction? Von Toes, Vontuz, which sounds like, kind of cool. I'm going on holiday. We're two, vantus.

Yeah, vantus. Two weeks in fantoos. It was the hoover. They hoover the baby out when they come out with the cone head. With the cone head. And have you, I mean, my friend's baby had the cone, but I didn't know about the vontuz. Oh, and you made a joke. No, I just went, why is that child got a triangle head?

And they said. I didn't say it to the parents. I said, it's Chloe. She explained to me. Well, that could have been worse. It could have been worse. I could have said, why is your kid looked like? Got a cone head?

Yeah. That's no way to say, welcome to the world, little friend. I, sometimes I know that women feel like if they haven't given birth naturally or if they don't give birth to their children and they feel like they're not quite mums or it doesn't feel like they're, I'm so glad that I'm not one of those. You didn't have to do it? No, I didn't. Yeah.

Glad you didn't have to do it. Oh, 100th. And when I was watching Chloe and people like, how does it make you feel? I was like, I just feel delighted. Right. As I was, you know, eating an oyster and drinking glass of wine, I was like, Well, that's great. Absolutely.

This is brilliant. That's good. That it worked out like that. It did really work out well for me. Yeah. I feel, sometimes I have moments of guilt where I go, oh, I'm not, I didn't go through all of that, you know, stuff that Chloe went through. And she went through a lot, like, in pregnancy. So, like, in her first trimester, she used to faint all the time because she had two babies.

And so it was really, her lungs contracted so much that she was, like, just pass out. And, you know, her feet swelled up. And, I mean, there's all kinds of stuff that, you know, and I felt like, oh, maybe I'm not really. really haven't worked hard enough for this children. And then they arrived and didn't sleep for three years. And I thought, no, it's fine. I've really put a shift in now. Yeah, exactly.

It leveled out. It leveled out very quickly. And she's dad, she did it. She wanted to do it. Oh, she would have been so upset if she hadn't done it. That's great. That's great. I mean, that's a conversation that doesn't come up between Ben and I.

It's a different dilemma, isn't it? No. So Ben, you know. I think Ben would have loved to have been pregnant. Ben would have been great at it. He would have loved it. Yeah, he definitely would have been better. He'd been like, this is exactly what I want.

Yeah, although treading on the baby wasn't a good... Harder to tread on the baby when it's inside you. Yeah, true. But he was good birth partner, is that the phrase? Yeah. Dad, bloke. Yeah. Because they don't have much to do.

They don't have much to do, do they. You don't have much to do. And they feel a bit like, redundant. Redundant. Yeah. Fill up the birthing pool. That's a solid 45 minutes. That is a solid 45 minutes.

I didn't even have that. I just had to like pick. I did the playlist. Oh, so you DJed. I DJed. You DJed Cholper. And so what was a classic was in the operating room because it was a C-section. Yeah.

And they were about to start the C-section. I went, I said, are we going to play the music? And the doctor went, what? I mean, just I've made a playlist. And she said, what do you mean? you've read a playlist. I just, I'm wondering if we get the room.

And then the middlewife went, yes, we'll, we'll do that. We'll play that. And she went, have you got the CD? I went, yeah, I've got the CD. Oh, God. So I'll pull out the CD and the doctor's like, oh, this is going on.

Then, uh, and then the middle life goes, yeah, we haven't got a, has anyone got a CD player? Oh my God. And it all became you and I, and I went, do you know what? Don't worry about it. She goes, no, no, no, we've got CD play it.

No shit, don't worry about it. Chloe's having babies. Twins. then the midwife goes Right, I'll just pop out and see if we can find one I went, oh, oh, oh, we could just wait We've got two anaesthetists We've got two, what are the, doctor people

We've got two midwives Yes, we've got two other people I don't know who they are, they're sort of randomly moving around And then just a woman coming in and out going I think we've got one in the oncology We'll be back in a minute, just wandering around I think it's coming up in the lift And then we'll bring the, and I'm standing there with a CD player going

Or, or don't worry, No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It came on and then, to be honest with you, Chloe was on the best drugs of her life, so she didn't hear it. But when Tracy Chapman came on.

When Tracy Chapman came on, then we knew it was worth it. Yeah, must have been. And then everybody said, what a great playlist, Jen. And you felt good about that. I felt really good about it. I never got that CD back.

So that's just a little. Hell. Just to say to the Royal Sussex, I don't think. You probably still got that. And I wouldn't blame you for being. Maybe they're playing it for every... They might. It's actually the perfect playlist to give birth to.

And Chloe couldn't really... She was just off her nut. She was absolutely off her nut. She didn't hear a single song. Have you told that story on stage? I think at one point Pearl Jam came on because I know Chloe likes Pearl Jam and that was inappropriate. I don't think anything is particular...

I don't really know. I don't think I did have music. You're just in it if you're in a weird. different place. You don't want music. Nobody wants music. No, it's difficult for the partner to know what to do. I remember at one point in one of my two labours, Ben went, good girl. He said, good girl. I went, don't ever fucking say that to me again. I will punch you in the neck.

You'll punch you in the nuts. Good girl. I think he patted my bum after one contraction. Good girl. And that's not Ben, is it? That's not his vibe. But he just didn't know what to do. He panicked. He didn't know what to do. And he's seeing your partner in that amount of pain. And he knew the second he said it. Oh, he knew he was in trouble. That was a narrow.

Once this contraction's over, I'm going to fuck you up bad. Don't know what was wrong with me then. Well, it's all a bit giddy, isn't it? Close, baby. I bumped into a friend recently because we both went to see a mutual friend's short film. And I said, God, brother, I haven't seen you for ages. I said, last time I saw you, I seemed to remember I was very heavily pregnant. And you'd had...

Jesus? Yeah, I hadn't seen her for years. And she was telling me how awful child. birth was and then when she got to her stop and she went oh it's my stop anyway you're it's awful you wish you were dead bye I thought she'd counter it with something like yeah it's amazing blah blah blah but no it's horrific you'll wish you were dead that's my stop bye it's a lovely thing to leave you yeah so I reminded her of it when I saw her recently was she wrong uh no because I'd done hypnotherapy oh that's right until you were actually always in and you were transcendentally meditating

Yeah, it was, one hondo. Yeah. Did you just say one hondo? Yeah. Okay. Right, Jen, who are we talking to today? Today, we are talking to the wondrous Chloe Radcliffe. This was great.

This was great. I really, really enjoyed this chat with Chloe. I first met her in Brooklyn last year. Yeah. And she's got her own podcast where she's on a tandem bike and she has people. It sounds good. I mean, like, it is literally the most original podcast out there. Yeah.

She takes a comedian out on a side. ride. They're on the back. She has a GoPro attached to her back. I really can't wait to get it. Look, it's on YouTube. Check out. Check out Chloe Radcliffe's podcast. This was a great chat. She's on at the Soho Theatre this weekend. If you haven't seen her before, you should bloody well go and see her. She's brilliant. I said, well, I think we just started. I don't think there's any. Have you worked together before? No. We haven't worked together, but we met in Brooklyn. Yes. In New York. Yeah, because Chloe and Stu came, I think you had a gig. I have no idea.

I can't remember. But anyway, I did, you know, I was in the States and I was doing my tour, and I did a couple of shows at Union Hall, and Stu came to one. And then Chloe came, and we had a beer after. Yes. And that's when I met Chloe. Yes. And he directs your stuff or your mates with Stuart or what's the good? I'm dating him.

You're a couple. Yes. Yes. We are romantically involved. Okay. See, I didn't know that. That's information. Disclosure. Yeah.

There we are. Intimacy. Yes. Yeah. Perfect. So Chloe, you're over here in the UK for a month. And I'm always really interested to know what people from the United States make of our little island. Yes.

Because we are always very vocal about what we think about Americans. I'm sure you have heard. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, and I would say for the most part, rightly so. I mean, my country is deeply fucked. That is pretty fast Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yours is very fun.

We have different PR departments working for it. Yeah. And you have, the UK has like, values intellectualism and education and government in like its core DNA in a way that the US does not. And I know that you're making that face. And what I'm saying is that the bar, which may feel low for you.

It is pretty low. It is so much lower for us that I come here. And I'm like, oh, a culture. that understands that a government is fundamentally supposed to make life better for a lot of people. Yeah, that's its function. Like we do not. Yeah, you don't kind of get behind that.

No, we do not get behind that. We sort of reject that idea. It's a really interesting idea in the States that the most important thing isn't free healthcare, isn't education, isn't great infrastructure, isn't, you know, pulling people out of poverty. But it's actually freedom. I don't actually know what freedom is. I don't know what freedom is. What do they mean?

What is freedom? Yeah, sort of freedom from to get away. for people. I mean, I think, yeah, that's the problem. That's what it turns into. Buy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freedom to just buy stuff.

And we're not free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are free to carry guns. Yeah. We can do that. Before we go on to your photographs, I just want to know. So like, in terms of performing, because I want to talk about when I went to the States, so I did that tour, I found U.S. audiences to be utterly delightful.

I mean, like, ridiculously warm, really like. Listening. No, but. Being attention. Yeah. Pay attention. But also just like, oh my God, we're so glad that you're here and we're ready to have fun. And I'm not saying you don't get heckled and I'm sure there's some really tough crowds and all of that when you're on the club circuit.

But certainly when you're touring, they are like ridiculously friendly. I mean, like getting on stage and then like somebody gave me a stunning evasion. I haven't spoken yet. You need to rein a inmate. I don't know what you think it's happening here, but it's literally a lesbian talking. And then I know, and then I came back here. Which does not deserve a stand notification. Five minutes, six.

It's what we do a lot. I tell you what, they love it. They're like, lesbians. They're really pleased to see anybody that's not a white man. But when I came back, I think the first gay guy I did, no offense to Peterborough, was in Peterborough. And there was a little bit of me that was like, guys, you're going to love this. And they were very much like, yeah, we're really enjoying it. And I thought, I thought, oh, this is.

This is how we enjoy ourselves. Sedentary, quite hostile, borderline, indifferent to anything that you're saying. Have you encountered that? I have very much encountered a crossed arms impress us. I would say for the most part, because everybody sort of prepped me, they were like, Brits don't laugh.

It's not that, you know, like, you just have to know that. Did they? So other American acts have a little pep talk before you come. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brits don't laugh. We do laugh. We just laugh. like, yes. I told, I came out to a room a couple nights ago, uh, and this shirt, so I,

I, like, spilled something badly on a different shirt that I was supposed to be performing in. Uh, it was eight at night. Here's a problem with London. Everything fucking closes at four 45 every afternoon. You can't get anything out. I mean, it was like six. And then, and then things open up again. It wasn't even, I mean, I'm exaggerating. It was that, it was that everything closes at like seven for real, like for the night. Like, everything is actually gone. And so I was like, food wise or just generally. Clothes, everything. Oh, close.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I was like, oh, I need a shirt. Oh, no, you forget it. And I, and I was at Finchley Road and I went, this is a big station. There must be stuff around here. Everything is closed. There's nothing.

There's the O2 mall. Right. And so I went, a mall. Great. That will have anything for me. It has an Aldi. It has a Sainsbury's. It has a movie theater.

And no clothes. No clothes. And, but the Sainsbury's has something. And so that's why I'm wearing, now I've actually come to really, I really like this. You really like that's a Fischererner. Bizarre, yeah, like a 66 year old woman

from Nebraska going on a cruise is sort of the vibe that this shirt gives and I have really come to have a lot of affection for it. But I told that story like the night, so it was like that's the only thing that's open at 845.

I got to the gig at 9. Right. This is the shirt that I had bought. Yeah. I got on stage. I told that story and they, and I was sort of telling it as this like a little bit shitting on Britain,

a little bit like triumph. I triumphed in the face of adversity. And the audience. was like, do not talk about our country like that. And we are not impressed with this fucking shirt. And it was so, I mean, I just spent the entire set being like, I have created a weird energy. And I can't get my head above water anymore.

We need to get to your photos. We could talk about stand up, the music of stand up, the nerdery of standup. I could talk about it all day. This episode is brought to you by Pelotter. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress.

Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. It's the matcha or the three ensemble Cicephora of the FACC that I just Dnichie that I'm energize O'T? Mm, it's the ensemble. The format standard and mini

regrouped, whatabend? And the embellage, too beau, who is practically to give to them. And I know that I should be they

summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. I'm, I'm just the best ensemble, the Cado of the Feds CFOA, Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty,

way, Cifora collection, and other, part of the VIT. Procurring you forma standard and mini, regrouped for a better

that it's been pre. On link on C4a.com or in We'll go to your photos, Chloe. And then we will go back in time to how you started stand up. So I haven't got my glasses, which is absolutely classic me. Oh my God, you're so cute.

How old are you in this picture? 15 or 16. You look younger, Chloe. Really? You look like the 13, 12, 13. No, that's definitely... You do not like 15, 16. Yeah.

Are you kidding me? Is this a selfie? Yes. So that gives... I think that's a selfie. on a disposable camera. Where is this? Where was this taking?

That is at. A high school speech and debate camp that I went to for two years. And that's why I know that it was either, I was either 15 or 16 because I know how old I was at that. Right. I competed in speech and debate for 10 years. And that I went to high school speech camp and like got better. This sounds great.

Wait, what? You loved it, I guess. I love it. It made me who I am. I think, I think speech. You just found your speech. self in that way. I think it should be mandatory for every kid. Well, it's to listen, isn't it? It's listening and the building. And what's funny, I never debated. I was,

debaters were the nerds. Speech kids were the cool kids. Oh, oh wait. It's good to have that definition. Yeah. So wait a second. Look at that picture. Tell me that's not a cool kid. Bit nerdy, big lady. Yeah, yeah. Tell me. She made your own selfie out of a digital. What's the, what's the difference? So you've got the debate. Speech is individual. You're standing up your orating. Debate is debating. Oh, you're debating with someone about a . Were you? You're assigned your speech topics?

No. Okay, so it's kind of like stand-up. You could talk about what you like. Speech is such a direct conduit into stand-up that I am shocked that not every single kid in America who did speech just doesn't go straight to stand-up. And frankly, I'm thrilled because it would make the competitive pool much. It's already too many of us.

Yeah, much more difficult. But, yeah, no, so I was only ever solo where it's like you write your own. And how long were the speeches traditionally? Ten minutes-ish. And what sort of talk? topics give us a little. It's more, it's probably helpful to do categories. So basically there's like a group of categories that are where you write your own. It's performative or it's in for, sorry, persuasive, informative, analytical, whatever. You, you, and it can be anything

from like policy. Like I know somebody did a, this is not mine, but somebody did a speech on how helmet laws or bike lanes, one of those two actually make bikers less safe because drivers think they're safe and then stop paying attention to them. Right. And so the persuade was the persuasive speech was we should not have bike lanes. And in retrospect, an insane... You know, but any hypothesis, just to practice the skill of persuasion. Exactly, exactly. And then there's a category that is all like impromptu, uh, extemporaneous. Uh, there's a couple categories like that, where it's where you get, uh, the topic somewhere between 90 seconds to 30 minutes before you're giving the speech and then you have anywhere between 90 seconds and 30 minutes

depending on the category. To craft a response. To craft a response. Yeah. Brilliant. And then there's categories that are like monologue contests. After you were doing that, did you think, well, what are my options? How can I use these skills to go and, you know, forge my own career? I mean, my whole life has just sort of been like blindly saying yes to whatever the next step is, whatever the thing that it seems to be open immediately in front of me. I wound up, I worked a corporate job. I studied math in university, but then also did theater.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like a whole, yeah, I studied math, did theater. competed in speech all through university, wound up at a corporate job, uh, doing like analytics stuff because of math. That's not really what I wanted to do. Then I wheezzled my way over to executive speech writing because of the speech background. It got laid off from that job.

Yada yada yada. Wound up doing. I was like, I'm going to move to Chicago. I'm going to do second city, which is improv and sketch. Yes. I grew up in Minnesota. And, uh, I tried one. I, I, my mom was like, just fucking stay in Minnesota for a couple months.

don't go to Chicago right away. Right. You're, I was, I had just been laid off. I was in this sort of like, bubble and froth. Right.

And she was like, you just have a, just try starting comedy here. Try starting whatever the thing is that you think, that you want to do to perform that stuff. 100%. Because she just saw you kind of running around and she said, just stay in,

or just like, try to, try to change the fewest things at the time, like try to change one thing at a time, which is, and so then I was like, I'm going to take, one sketch class, I'm going to take one improv class, and I'm going to do one stand-up open mic,

thinking I would check, honestly thinking I would check stand-up off the list. Yeah. And then- Which is weird, given everything that you've been doing up until that point, right. Right. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

In retrospect, it's so easy to see. Yeah, yeah, of course. But you'd made your mind up that you wanted to do sketch and improv. I knew that I wanted to perform and I knew that I found theater people deeply annoying and that I couldn't be around them. In fact, I dropped, I was for a little bit of a little bit of, little while I was a theater, I was a double major math in theater and for a week and then was like, oh, I can't, I can't do the theater department. So what, so growing up as a young girl,

that 15, 16 year old, were you, were you quite outgoing? Were you sort of, because you're like, I, you know, we've only met a few times, but I've always thought, you know, like, you're very confident and you, you, you, you, you communicate really well and you seem really happy in your own skin. That's quite unusual for a woman at any age. So were you confident as a young person? Yes, very much so. And the like big abyss was never feeling conventionally attractive romantically, partially because of my birthmark, partially I used to be heavier, partially just like generally feeling like a weirdo. So other than male attention, I was always very confident. And then, but I felt like, yeah, but I'm not the popular girl. I was, I ran a 5K

this weekend with Stewart and somehow in that 5K. And like now Stewart runs all the time and I hate running, but I now run with him. Right. And I was remembering a girl who I went to high school with named Michelle, don't remember her last name. And I remember somebody talking about, oh, the way Michelle runs, you can see that she's a, like, she's like a, they were talking about her running technique. And literally all they were talking about was athletics. Yeah. But I, for me, that like directly, there was no gap. That meant she is like the direct implication is she is worth more because she is attractive.

Like even though in retrospect, they were talking about running technique. But it was like if you are athletic in high school, that means that you are probably thin. and you are probably desirable. Right. And you are probably popular. And that means you are like the boys want to take you to a dance. Right. And that you are worth more.

And it's like it's crazy that what the lessons that we learn when we are young is that you do not separate. There was, I'm trying to figure out how this was a thought that I had on a 5K and like didn't have. You're hearing me try to process this out loud for the first time. But that I heard somebody talking about what should not be a. a like romantic value statement. Right. And it translates directly into a romantic value statement. And also that romantic value should not be your self-worth.

But I don't know if it is for everybody your self-worth at that age or if it just was for me because that was the thing that I felt insecure about. And that like maybe somebody else who feels fine in romance but bad at academics would think that academics is where the self-worth should be derived. I don't know. I think I think all young women have a, uh, I would say there is a currency, isn't there with beauty and there is a currency with being thin. Oh, our value in society is attached to are you fuckable? Are you fuckable? Absolutely. And when, as a young woman, when did you sort of come out of that fog and go, actually, I'm fucking great?

The, I think I was like a slow transition. I think I like really started to find myself in university. And then I mean, it's probably like if you could take a snapshot, speaking of memory lane photos. you could take a snapshot of like every two or three years. Yeah. From 18 to 27, 28, I think I like made sort of like regular steady progress. And then moving to New York. Yeah, it really was like, yeah.

I remember. Well, positive or negative? Positive, so positive. Yeah, yeah. You just blossomed. Yeah. First of all, my birthmark isn't weird in New York. Right.

Or it is weird in New York, but like it's number 50 on the list of 300 weird things you've seen today. Yeah. And and I can walk into a bar, speaking of male attention, which was how I measured my self-worth for so long. Yeah. I could walk into a bar and have like normie finance guys, clock my birthmark and be like, that's different. But again, because everything is different in New York, still have these people who like back in the Midwest would never would be like weird, different. No, no, no, not for me. not like unkind.

They wouldn't be cruel to me, but just I am not on the list of desirables. Right. And suddenly I was on the list of desirables for these normy, normie guys because the environment that we're in is so much more comfortable with something that's different.

And I have now lost a significant amount of weight, but I remember a week into moving to New York when my body looked exactly the same as it did a week before when I lived in the Midwest. I was like, oh, I am 50 times sexier in this city. And I was sort of prepared to be, feel less sexy that like New York is full of you know like it's a very sexual city and that it and that it's full of I'm thinking Lena done and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just like I'm here I'm gonna wear everybody

wants to fuck everybody. I'm sorry yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm really sorry yeah it's good it's good say it again I can't I just do it I don't feel like I don't don't ever edit any of those out actually Joel we want to keep all the whoop-wops in that's but that's how I think of it that girls and it like I would say that is a pretty accurate representation. Yes, and I remember watching that and being like, I want to be 27 living in Brooklyn. Yeah. The only place more sexual that I've ever been is Italy. Italy is. Oh, that's just because the men don't leave you alone. But I'm saying like New York is right under there. Right. Let's get on to your next because we've, can you believe it? We've just done one photo and we've got loads to get through, which is the next picture that we should go to

from we're looking here. So this is my, and now we've actually even gone a little bit out of order. It doesn't matter. We can do anything we want with Mavericks. So this is the backyard of the house that I grew up in. And you can see that that's a swing set. Wow, that is a lot. That's a loss of land.

Yeah. And there's more, it's not huge. It's not enormous. But yes, for British backyards, it's enormous. Yeah. And so that little stand of trees used to have a very, a primitive tree house that a roofer who like fixed our roof when I was eight um stayed for an extra day and built me a tree house oh no no that was my aunt and uncle whatever somebody built the tree house

but the roofer built this swing set um these two little rope swings and then there used to be this huge branch that came out from one of these big trees and he and he did a big rope swing with like just a log and you had to pull the rope swing back and then like swing and it was and it was fantastic I mean this. Unfortunately, that branch had to come down. But, and in retrospect, my parents split up when I was a baby. They were never married. We're together for a long time and are still very close and never dated anybody seriously after splitting up. Oh, wow. So I have, yes. So I grew up with just like, it's me and my mom and my dad. And my dad just lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Minnesota. Like we live in different states. Right. But it's still the three of us. Yeah. Yeah. In retrospect, I bet that my mom was like lightly dating. that roofer, which I'm thrilled for it. Like, I remember loving that guy. You go to the tree house and your mom had to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

And I wish, I remember loving that guy. He stayed for dinner. Oh, man, of course she was. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I just was like, I like Chris is Chris, you know, like, yeah. And so this is, it's just like an affectionate, the all that's left of the whole set up, the tree house and the swing sets and the, and the big rope swing is just the,

this one swing set with the two flat panel swings. So your mom's still in the same? She's still in the same house in Minnesota. That's great. Yeah. So it sounds like you had quite a... Would you describe your childhood as idyllic? How would you describe your childhood?

Yes, I think so. It felt... My parents are both hippies and, like, met at a Transcendental Meditation teacher training course. Hippies. Like, far, far, far. Carrie's mom's a hippie, so she can... Yeah, but like...

Not full-blown, yes. T-A meditation, like I'm going. Yeah. I'm doing some astral holidays in my head. Yes. You won't see me move.

Yes. But I'm going. I'm going somewhere else. Yeah, that's, that's the vibe they're wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds great. So they were pretty chilled.

They were, yeah, yeah, yeah. Surely if you're going to do loads of transcendent, I can't even say it. Transcendental meditation. If you're going to do all that, surely the outcome should be your chilled. The outcome is, Uh, emotionally present and aware.

Yes. That's useful for children. I feel like that's a butt. I just don't know that I would use the word chill. But I think, I think my mom, my mom was a, uh, very much a, she is a worst case scenario prepper. Right. In a way that was very annoying and could and can still be very annoying, but she and I have

talked about it a bunch and she, and now the fact that like she and I can have these like incredibly open conversations is because of the emotional present. I'm interested in the prepping vibe because if someone he's planning for some sort of appalling situation and has been for decades, at what point do they go, okay, I might have over prepped. I got in too much bog roll and tins of beans because we haven't needed them. Right. Well, and her argument. Or do you keep the option open?

Her argument is, and she's not a prepper like Apocalypse prepper, but she's like a disaster planner. Yes, disaster plan. Well, and like, if I leave the house in the winter, if I, if I get into my car, still to this day, I'm 34. And my mom would be like, do you have, do you have a spare pair of boots in the car? Do you have a spare blanket? Do you have flares? Do you have whatever? It's that kind of shit.

And her argument. Les, geez. You're like, I do. In my mom, I've got one of these. Yeah, yeah. Right. I don't need all of a shit. Is your phone charge?

Is your whatever, all this kind of stuff? And she, her argument is, and she will, anytime this comes up, she is, you is, immediately in tears and understandably so. She's like, I was a single mom. Something happened to her to make her like that. And the thing was, if, and I'm speaking as her now, if something goes wrong, it's only me. Yeah. I do not have a partner.

If you and I, if I break my ankle, I can't take time off of, I can't take a week off work. Yeah. And stay at home while I've broken my ankle. Right. And then have somebody else make the money and have somebody else take care. care of the kid and have whatever, I can't do that. If the kid gets sick, I can't, I can't take time on.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot to put on a kid. And so, right. And so it's the- So kids carry their mom's anxiety. That's quite a traditional thing that mothers and daughters pass on to each other. Oh, you're in a state.

I'll be in a state, so we're both in a state. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And now we match. Look at us. Yes. And you couldn't laugh about it now.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And it's, I'm actually really just thinking now like, oh, is that why I, worst-case scenario? No, no, no. The reason that I worst case scenario plan, I think, is because this is a dad thing where it's a, if nothing outside can hurt me if I prepare for how bad it could hurt me. Right. Like, then it's the ideal situation is then you get a pleasant surprise, but sometimes I don't even allow myself to experience the pleasant surprise. Right, right. I'm just so preparing for the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is a very, this looks a very fancy bar. A very fancy bar. Is it in New York?

Are we in New York? And I am not dressed. It's a little hard to tell in that I'm wearing just like a biking. Like I'm wearing athletic clothes in that. Okay. You can't really tell. Yes. I happen to be not wearing the most hideous biking outfit.

I bike every around New York. Right. What did your mom think of you living in New York if she's got that personality that we, that kind of slight worrying? She is so sad that I am very far from her. Yes. But she's very happy that I am in a good, that I love. She would never leave where she is.

She would absolutely would. And she has said, uh, would she not to New York though, surely. She would, uh, it would, I mean, we would have to like find a place like outside of the center city. But yeah, I think she. But to the state. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh, New York state.

Or like Jersey or something. But her take has basically been, we don't know. I still don't know whether I'm permanently in New York or would wind up being in LA, perhaps, whatever. And she's just like, I'm not going to move multiple times. but wherever you settle, I will then move to be there. Yeah. That's lovely. Yes.

Yeah. Tell us about what's going on in this photo because you're not in your, what is it? Biking clothes. Because you do a podcast on your bike. I do, yes, an interview series where I put a comedian on the back of a Tanna bike. And then, oh, and then, yes, I sometimes will do like front-jacking goes to my bike. So there's a camera. Like Jeremy Vaugh and a GoPro.

Yeah, that's like a GoPro. I think it must be. Is it a GoPro? I have a GoPro on my back. that shoots like up the person's nose behind me. So Ramesh, he looked really calm. Yes, yes. Cycling behind you.

All around New York. I take people around Central Park. Every once in a while we'll leave Central Park. But for the most part, it's like I can't, I can't ask a person who's not really a biker to ride a tandem bike with me in the streets of here. I ride everywhere and I'm a very aggressive rider when I'm on my own bike.

Okay. This photo, so this was, this is at a very fancy sushi restaurant in Soho, in our Soho. And the person who used to be the head chef there, he has now left, had a, had, I think still has, a big crush on me. Oh, I love it. And to a, like, insane degree that I would say this to his face. And I'm, I am sure that I am one of roughly 45 women who gets this treatment. Like, I don't think that it makes me special necessarily. I want to be 46. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, if you want to be. I wanted to, you actually could be 46.

Okay, okay. But he's, I know him through this group, a comedian, a different guy, whatever. A group of comedians sort of overlaps with the world of New York nightlife. Right. That a few comedians used to work as like door guys at clubs. And that got them into this like service world

of the nightlife world. Yeah. An interesting side note, what being friends with that world has taught me is that even when you're in the night life world, the service, like even, we can get into any club, we can get into any bar, we can, like, sidestep any line when I'm with this crew. And it feels so fun and so special to go up and be like, well, I'm with, you know, like, we texted the door guy ahead of time because they all know each other, but you are on the service side. You are not on the customer side. And,

and, like, it doesn't matter that you can get into that bar and feel very cool. You are not one of the customers. And it's so fascinating. What do you mean? What does that mean? Like, you just are, I mean, we, we sort of, we like it because it's like, well, then we get to laugh at all of the, like, rich. Yeah, you're on the cooler side, I suppose. I think it's the cooler side, but, like, you just don't get the same treatment as the people who are. Paying the big bucks. Paying the big bucks.

But then you're not paying the big bucks. Who's the loser now? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But, like, even that there, like, there are, the people who are paying the big bucks, the customers who are there, still sort of can smell that you are not one of them. Right. Well, and smell literally if you're wearing your cycling gear.

So I was with, I was with this big larger crew. We were out one night and we were going to go to one of these fancy clubs. And I had ridden my bike that night. I had like had a couple shows and then met up with them after. And they, and I was like, well, they were all taking a cab to this club that was a mile away. Yeah. And I said, I'll just ride and I'll meet you there. Yeah.

And everybody was like, you are not allowed to ride your bike to this club because then you'll be associated with us as you are up. You can't show up on your loser fucking dork bicycle and take off your helmet and what, lock it outside of this club and then join the queue. And you were like, yes, I am. And that was my plan. But so this head chef said, um, put your bike in the little like basement room where the delivery cyclists keep their bikes.

Yeah. For this restaurant and come pick your bike up later and just like change in the restaurant. Put on some, because I had cuter clothes in my bag. Right. And so then a day or two later, I had to go back and pick up my bike after having this big night out at the club. And when I showed up, I just like said to the major dee, I was like, hey, I'm, I'm here to pick up my bike. I think it's in that whatever is the chef here. And the major two said, let me check and came back and said right this way and brought me to the sushi bar. Didn't like, didn't go to my bike, brought me to the sushi bar, sat me down in front of alone at the sushi bar. And I just had proceeded to have. dish after dish after dish champagne after dessert after sushi everything after thing after thing because the chef was... Because he fancies her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And was just because I had stopped by to pick up my bike and the chef was like well, here we go. Have the little trick. Carrie, is that ever happened to you? And it was incredible. You kidding? No. Has it ever happened to you, Kerry? Of course it hasn't. Never happened to me. No. I can't imagine. I mean

I tell you what I took away from that, apart from it sounds delightful, is how did they know you had time? Right. You're like, I came to get my bike. I've got to get my bike. And you know what's unfortunate? I had already eaten.

I was not hungry at all. Yeah. And you'd fit it in. I got so full. Just stick to sashimi. Yes. Stick to the protein. No carbs.

I just like kept going. I kept eating. And on the ride home when I finally, an hour later, also all the sushi chef. Did you have to flirt through this as well? No. So the chef came out like once. Because that's exhausting. Flirting is exhausting.

It is, but it sort of feeds. If you're doing it to get food. It's just hard work. He's a chef so he can't be talking for long. He can be like, hey, how are you? You'd be like, oh, great, this is delicious. And then he fucks off. Another glass of champagne.

That's exactly what it was. Back over. I hope you're enjoying the dishes. I am. Thanks so much. That's right. They're giggling. Actually, don't do the wink, winking. You don't have to do the giggling.

Okay. That's, no one giggled anymore. No, no one's giggling. I did. I giggled with him. Giggling is key. Yeah, I did. That's where I fall down.

Yeah, that's why you've never gotten this room. You've got to giggle more. Hey, you get more free stuff. I think there needs to be like some sort of workshop for women who want free sushi. Yeah, that would be information I could do with. On the ride home, speaking of getting too full, I pulled over, I have to cross a bridge from Manhattan into Brooklyn. And I pulled over at the top of the bridge because I was so full and so uncomfortable. And I tried to make myself throw up into the garbage at the top.

No, this is full like the Romans. They used to do all this stuff. Vomaterium. You went full of vomiting. I tried. I couldn't make myself puke. And another biker. And I'm full of $300 of sushi and champagne or whatever the fuck.

What have we learned, Chloe? What did we learn? We learned show up hungry when you go to this restaurant. Or don't eat all the freestyle. And another biker. To flirt with someone you don't even particularly want that kind of. Tree with at all. Yeah, you didn't need the food.

You didn't need the flirt. Another biker pulled over to be like, are you okay? And I realized that he thought I was drunk. He was like, are you okay to ride? And I had to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. How much something had you? I'm stone cold sober, one glass. Okay.

I'm stone cold sober. I just ate so much sushi that I need to throw it up. And you know what? In any other town, people would be like, what the fuck is that? But you're in New York, they're like, oh, that seems true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, I got it. Sure, sure. By the seven-time world's best leisure airline champions, Air Transat.

Let's go to your next picture. So we've got two left. We've got this one. So let's do the selfie. Okay. Speaking of a selfie. You've done some height there. Like you've gone.

Oh, stick? Got a stick? No, no, no, no, that was just a phone? Long arms. Long arms. That were too short arms for good selfies. Well, you gotta extend them. Yeah, extend your arm.

Get a stick? Yeah, you gotta get a stick. Where are you look very glamorous? You do. Great photo of you. So this night was, I've never posted this photo anywhere. It's never lived anywhere. Why?

You've got to stick this kind of shit on your Instagram. I know, I usually do. Believe me, I, I am. This is for? I look hot. Stick it up on Instagram. Yes, I am pretty loose. Yes, pretty loosey-goosey with the I look hot, put it up on

Yeah. Somehow this has never gone up. Not until today. The night before I flew to Edinburgh in 23. And I feel like my life, so first of all, my life changed when I went to Edinburgh. I met the person who I am now with and now I come to the UK a lot. Let's mention who that is because we've mentioned him a couple times

because we haven't said who Stewart is. Stuart. Stuart Laws. Who we've had on the podcast, go and listen to that episode if you haven't already. Yes. Brilliant comedian director. Yes. Incredible.

And we just like, I, look, I have a solo show about how I've cheated in all of my relationships. And I was this Edinburgh, I was going to do to like start this solo show. This is the solo show that I'm doing this coming week at Soho Theater. And you'd never been to Edinburgh prior. Had never been to Edinburgh. Had been to the UK before. But had never been to the festival. Had never been to Scotland.

And I, so certainly like going to that Edinburgh seemed like a turning point in my life. But also I would say more broadly, and before, before that Edinburgh, you know, a year or two prior, I feel like the like locus of my life in my 20s was socializing, including male attention, including and, and that like dating, I associate as socializing and. Yeah. And cheating and yada, yada, yada, all of that. Just having a good time. Exactly.

And that in my 30s, the locus of my life has been work. And I have not done as much of the going out with that. crew i have not done as much i mean this is what you're 20s are for in the night life right and 20s are for that good stuff that night i was trying to link up with this same crew that i've been talking about and i like got all dressed up and i thought that i could i had a show and then i brought this cute outfit to change into and i changed into this cute outfit and i was trying to find them and they were all busy and i was about to go to edinburgh and leave for what i thought would be a month and it turned into two months because i stayed for an extra month i met zuret and he said live with me for

for in London for a month and it turns out that what he met by London was Rice Lipp and that doesn't count as London. Oh, mate. Oh my God. What a letter. I'm from near Rice Lip and it is not cool. I got bamboozled. No, no. Whoa.

Did you think you'd got back in time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the 50s. Yeah, he hoodwinked me. Wow, but you must have liked him to stick it out for a month. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Right at the end of the central line.

Oh, so far. So far from everything. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's a measure of love. Yes. So anyone must dig someone if you put up with rice slip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, it's, I look, it's, I now find it very charming.

It's nice. It's quiet. There's nobody there. Nobody lives there at all. And so you sort of feel alone. Yeah, yeah. And that's kind of refreshing. Right. It's suburbia. It's, yeah. To come from Edinburgh Festival to a rice area. It's not, we are below suburb. We are in. Yeah, it's right out.

Yeah. Yeah. Because where I grew up, Greenford kind of Northolt area. That's suburbia. That's suburbia and it's even further out than that. Oh, blind. Yeah, yeah. It's proper metro land. It's like right out.

But to go from Edinburgh Festival, have this whirlwind romance and loads of fun, no doubt. And obviously, the festival is excited. I picked him, let's go to Portugal and hang out together. And he said, let's not go to Portugal. Let's go to Rice. Wow. You must very much like. Stewart, actually.

I'm really, yeah. But, I mean, if you got to that point with Stu where he went, can I interest you in rice slip? and you said yes, then you must have, that's a big romance. That's a big romance. Because we've had your, we've had his version of the romance when he came on the show and he talked about you. And now I like that we're getting your version because he was very much like, and I'm not

sure how she felt, but it was quite difficult. Maybe she felt this. I don't know. Anyway, she stuck around. And it was a bit more like that where you're like, yeah, I like the guy. It's cute. Yeah. Yeah.

And that was an easy thing to arrange to just say, I'm going to stay another month. Yes. the writer's strike was happening in the US, so it didn't feel like I was missing a huge amount of writing work. I definitely felt like I was missing a shit ton of stand-up work, but had already been missing that to prep for Edinburgh because it's like the US club system is not set up to prep a solo show. So I'd been doing domestic fringes, which had sort of taken me off the map. And could you just jump on the London circuit? And so then I did jump on the London circuit a little bit. So that felt like I could like stand in a little bit there. And yeah, I definitely felt like,

I felt discombobulated very much so. But it was. was possible. It was like well within the realm of possibility for me to do. Yeah, yeah. Who's this guy? Um, this guy is an ice cream cake that melted. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you put that together yet. No, I, I absolutely did not. I thought it was like some sort of patchwork quilt. No, that is an ice cream cake. Believe it or not. We don't have ice cream cakes here. Okay. I mean, I assume it's a cake made of ice cream. cake where it's layers of ice cream. Yeah.

I love the sound of that. Yes. Why don't we have... We have vionettas. Oh yeah, we do have vionettes. That must be that. I don't know what the word you think. It's kind of like a shopboard.

No. You've got to get yourself a vionetta. What the... Have you not had to? They have ice cream cake. Forget that. It's kind of just shot bought. It's a shop bought one.

Yeah, but you've got to go vionetta. Get one. We'll get one. Okay. On the way out. It's layers. Let's talk about it. So it's layers of ice cream and then you have like this like paper thin,

sort of dark chocolate and then more layers of ice cream and paper thin. And then in the 80s, your mom would get it out. It would be a special occasion. Maybe there was a christening or something is Italian pudding. And then you'd, you'd have it in slices. And honestly, it was like the poshest thing. Yeah, you thought you were so posh. Oh my God. You were like, you were living like kings. I mean, I had one recently and it's like, well. Or have wine in Italy that tastes proper. Yeah. Yeah. And then you go, oh, this is the pop-tart. No one's eating vionettes in Italy. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. But, for it's, it's, but. It's, for you. But, it's, it's, it's, but. us, that's the closest we get to an ice cream cake. But you, I mean, what was the, what, okay,

talk us through this. Whose cake is this? This was at a friend's birthday party, um, and it was just that, I can't remember, I can see what the cone is now. Yes, that's the nose cone. It was supposed to be the nose. Yes, I can't remember why, what, whether, I can't remember how the melting happened. I can't remember whether it was, didn't put it in the freezer. Yeah, I mean, it was, I'm quite obviously. Yes. Somehow it did not get in the freezer. Wow, she's good. Not like that. That is because I'm very present. Did you put it in the freezer? Guys, I think I sold the problem.

No, I think it hasn't been cold enough. I brought this photo to represent how I feel most of the time. Okay, I can relate to this. This is sort of representative. I use the words. When people say, how are you or how have you been? My most commonly used word now is sloshy or slushy. Right. And that that is sort of what this is sort of like,

deflated. What, and why? Why? Um, I think I am mean to myself, uh, with my expectations for myself. I think I don't give. And I, and I'm, I'm, I, even saying this feels like I'm coming off arrogant being like, I don't give myself enough credit for all of the work I do. But the, like, I think that is the reality. I think I'm like, I feel lazy all the time. I feel behind all the time. I feel like I waste time all the time. I feel like I, I am not working hard enough. But there's a lot to celebrate. That's funny.

Yes. And your job is to be funny. Yes. So it's a win. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. You've got a kind of melted ice cream vibe.

Yes. Certainly inside. Yes, I have a melted ice cream vibe. But I think comedians have to. Yeah. Also, I think a lot of the time this whole idea of productivity is a myth and a lie because one of the things that I feel like I realize was comedy, particularly Stan up is if you don't have any space, you don't have any free time, you don't have any gaps, you can't do it.

You don't, you're not able to like come up with new material, but also you don't leave space for opportunities to happen. Yes. Space for things to come into you. From starting, I started comedy in 2015 and until for the first five years of doing comedy, I was much more chewed to use a But playful and open. Playful and open. But I was not, like, I look back at those first five years and I'm mad at myself for not working hard enough in those first five years. And it's not that I wasn't working hard, but I wasn't doing a million different projects.

I wasn't doing. I look back and I'm like, oh, there's so. I could have just been writing more sketches. I could have just been making more things. I could have just been writing more stand-up jokes. I could have just been trying harder. But you're hard on your past self. I'm hard on my past.

and I'm hard on myself now and that I think really what it is is that I had a couple opportunities in a row that I think opened my eyes to how hard I could try. And each step, then I go, oh, I can try harder. Oh, I can try actually even harder than that. And every time I try harder, more things happen and more good things come in. Right, right. You're beating yourself up, but in the context of a melted cake. Yes. And that's a good balance. That is how I feel. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. It's not like too intense. It's playful as well. Now, Stuart would say it's too intense. And that's why he loves you.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. Chloe, this has been brilliant. Tell us about your Soho show. It is the 15th, 16th and 17th of May, which is like the next day after I think this podcast comes out. So this podcast comes out on the Wednesday and then you can go see it Thursday, Friday, Saturday at Soho Theatre. It's, what time was it again? 915. 915. The show is called cheat.

Cheat. Yes. You're going to have a good time there. You're going to have a great time. I'm really, really, really. Yeah, it's going to be fun. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Dardy.

And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast. What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question. Quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress?

Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger?

What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is over the top. What did you do yesterday? available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.