Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E20: Toussaint Douglass

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

"I look like I'm hosting a crabs game... It's quite simple... I was clearly on the spectrum"We have the wonderful and delightful @toussaint_gram on the show this week! Such a great chat talking about fierce women, sartorial elegance, New Labour and of course PIGEONS.Toussaint is up in Edinburgh for the comedy festival so make sure you go see him if you are up there. His show is fantastic! PLUS... @kerryagodliman and @jenbristercomedy chat about Australia, Imagine Dragons and Semen Dave. JEN & KERRY STAND-UP TOURSKerry's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728Jen's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.jenbrister.co.uk/tour/PHOTOSPHOTO 1: RizzPHOTO 2: New LabourPHOTO 3: The CatPHOTO 4: Giving BirthPHOTO 5: PIGEONS PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel PorterHosted by Jen Brister & Kerry GodlimanDistributed by Keep It Light MediaSales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together.

You look hot, you look really hot. Well, it's hot, in it? I just went to the gym, then I had a really cold shower. I'm darting around. Then I'm doing trigger points. I've got to talk about bombs. And it's season four now. So, yeah.

You've got a lot. That's all I'm saying. You can't put that out. That's a spoiler. But we're on to B. Ben did it. You can't. Well, you have to beat that out, child.

You can't, stop saying that word for a start. But you can't go in and say that and then go, oh, we can't use that. And then don't say it. No, I know. But it's just funny because we did a line run the other day. Ben was helping me with a line run. And he went, fuck. Right.

I'm like, yeah, that's where we are now. That's where you are. It's go big or go home in Triggerville. It's bombs, bombs, more bombs, what bombs, bigger bombs? How big can we go with the bombs? Yeah. You can go big bombs. We're going really big.

We're going to the big bombs. The big guys. You have been in Australia. I have been Australia and I'm back now. And I was in New Zealand. Let's not forget. We must have forget New Zealand. People keep forgetting New Zealand.

I don't forget New Zealand. Don't forget New Zealand. How long were you in New Zealand? How long were you in Australia? I was in New Zealand. in for about five days. New Solund. And then I was in Australia for two and a whatever the week.

I mean, I felt like I was there for half of my life. You moved there. You moved there. I did. Once I got there, I was like, I guess I live in New Zealand. You're here now. And was it winter? Was it winter there?

Yes, it was, Kerry. It was winter. Was there snow? No, there wasn't snow. I'm sure I saw a comedian that you've been knocking about with, with snow on her car. Who was I knocking about with? Christine.

Oh, she lives in Canberra, she would have been chipping off some frost. Yeah, it's frosty there. Frosty, yeah. Wow. It's frosty, it's winter, it gets dark by 4pm. All of the things that I, when you go to Australia, I'll be honest with you, you don't want. That's not, that is not why a British person goes to Australia is to experience Australian winter. I'm going to say that that isn't what we want.

No, uh-uh-uh. Did you not think of that before you planned the trip or it just wasn't on the radar? I mean, I need to be clear that it wasn't so much me planning the trip. It was, this is when we can do this. Do you want to do it? And I said, I do want to do it. And so I shall come over. And there was always, there's always a bit of you that goes, how cold is it in Australia, really, in winter?

And it's cold. Like our cold? No, not like our cold. But certainly grey, Melbourne was grey and it rained a lot. and there was no sun. And you like the sunshine, don't you? I quite like it. I'm into it.

And also dark by 4pm, which was the thing that I really struggled with it. Yeah, because here, I mean. Yeah. I've just done that dark at 4pm. And then I had to do it. One of my favourite things lately being on tour is coming out of my show, still light. Still light, James. That is glorious, isn't it?

Yes, I love that. We're coming up to the midsummer vibes. Yeah. Excited. Look, look, look. Are you got your Glastonbury tickets? I've got mine. When are you doing the thing that we're meant to be doing, which is stand up?

When are you doing that? Well, I'm doing it at the time that, I mean, I'm doing it at 4.30pm on Sunday afternoon. Right, nice. Which actually, everyone's like, oh, that sounds awful. But actually, I'm really happy about that. I think that's a great slot. It's a really good slot. 4.30 p.m.

It's just before the, what's his act, you know, the legend spot, which will be Rod Stewart. and wake up Maggie I think I got something to say to you yep is it something like it's late September and a should be back at school I think PRS is going to have something to say about this it's one of the few vocal qualities that I can do is old Rod do you know what's the old 40 Rossman's in it I actually think

You can smash a Rod Stewart song. Can you sing the other one? We are sick. That's it. We are sick. No. No, you struggle with that one. That's fair.

That's fair. To be honest, I think your vocal quality that you've just delivered here, which is, by the way, thank you. I enjoyed it. Thank you. We'll be probably what we will be in receipt of from Rod. At Lassonbury. I think there might be a point where I go,

Kerry, can you tell her. Kerry, can you, lip-cing this guy. Yeah, this isn't working out for me. I'm looking forward to listening to Rod Stewart on a rug. Yeah. With a sort of tepid beer, because it's always tepid, in the sunshine. That's what I'm imagining. Yeah, see you there.

See you there, mate. Yeah. I'm absolutely thrilled to be doing stand-up comedy at 4.30pm in the cabaret tent. I'm doing it at 12 o'clock. On Sunday. Saturday, on the Saturday. Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. That's a great time. Are you kidding? Perfect time. Because it'll be busy. Oh, really busy.

Busy. It'll be busy. It'll be busy. It'll be busy. Pre-band. Because it's pre-all the bands and everyone's like, oh, what are we going to do? I've got a cup of coffee and a crepe. Oh, I'll go and watch Carrie Godleman. Yeah, great. Yeah, yeah. I'll watch. I'll be there. I'm going to be there front and center. I can't wait. Don't be ridiculous. I'm so excited for this. Don't be ridiculous. What do you mean? What do you mean you're going to be there front and center? That would just be weird.

I always watch. I always watch. watch your gigs. You forget that. I like to watch them and I like to as you're doing them, I like to break down exactly what you're thinking as you do it because I can see what's happening according to the rhythm and the cadence of your voice, all of that. And I like that you will probably get to about 15 minutes and go, I'm done in your head psychologically. Psychologically, no, no, no, no. You really invest in the first 15 minutes you give it, everything you've got. And then I can just see go, I think we can tap out of this now. No, I do have a kind of an existential crisis around 17 minutes.

That does happen. Yeah, you're right. But then I get through it and then I find more stuff. At the end. Yeah, in the last push. It's interesting, isn't it, the mental journey that a comedy set can hold. Well, a comedy set in a cavernous tent with about 100 people in it. Everyone on a come down.

Everyone or sort of gurning, sort of gently. It's sort of gentle gurning at that time. Yeah, no, it can be a bit much. Are you going to latitude? I'm going to be at latitude for Sunday afternoon. You're not going for the weekend? No. I thought you might go with the kids this time.

No, they told me too late and we're taking the kids to see Imagine Dragons, which I absolutely cannot believe I'm going to. What is that? It's their favourite band. We have to listen to Imagine Dragons in the car. We have to listen to Imagine Dragons. in the house we have to listen to Imagine Dragons. We're listening to Imagine Dragons.

I'd love you to listen to Imagine Dragons. I've never heard of Imagine Dragons. I'm going to say it's not your band. Why? Why? What's the vibe? It's kind of for me got 10 year old boy vibes, but that's because my boys are 10. So I can't imagine an adult listening to Imagine Dragons. I imagine there are adults that like them. But for me, the United States.

Right. Are they like a rock band? They do sort of rocky, rapy. Pibody Pippity Pippity Imagine dragons I've never heard of them

You've never heard of them Where are you going to see them? We're going to see them at the O2 Oh that weekend Is that right So then Latitude is a little pop down That's why we Like when I got offered Latitude

I went too late We bought Imagine Dragon tickets And the boys will much prefer Imagine Dragons to Latitude I just thought you might be like Oh I'll ease them into a festival now Latitude's quite a nice little festival To do with the kids

Well we took them to camp festival They've been to that. And we're going to wilderness. We're going to wilderness. Are you performing at that? No! What is wilderness? That's the groovy middle-aged one, is it?

It's the groovy white middle-class middle-aged one. Well, that sounds like all of them, doesn't it? Let's face it. Yeah, it's actually right. It's just full of middle-aged white people. Middle-class, middle-aged white people going, isn't, yeah, just Halu-i. Spirit.

Yeah, Hulumi, Hulumi. Well, I'll be at latitude, so maybe I can, we could have a meal. We could have some lunch on that Sunday. You'll post your set. Yeah, let's have some doll. Let's have some Hulumi. Yeah, great.

Let's have some Hulumi doll chickpeam mix. Yeah. I can't probably a little, little non-alcoholic beer. A zero beer. I've so into my zero beers. Australia was just full-time zero beer. Really? I zero beard my way around there.

They had zero pale ales, which were delish. So you didn't drink? That's the end of that anecdote. I did a couple of times, yeah, like a glass of wine or something. Because the wine is good. You can't turn down. Well, you flew all the way there to go to a vineyard for one day and came back. That's how much you like Australian wine.

That's how much I like wine. Yeah, that is true. Let's not forget that. Let's never forget that. That blew my mind that whole trip. I tell you what, I've got to say, I nearly died from Jetlag. I think it nearly, I nearly died. Why?

Why was it worse? It was the worst, it was the worst it has ever been. Going out there. Oh, horrendous. I couldn't. On the way back, absolutely fine. I've been fine since I got back. On the way there, I thought, can Jetla, kill you?

Why was it so bad? Because I'm 50. Right. Maybe just knock on the head all this traveling around the world shit. I mean, it's a lovely idea. It's a lovely, isn't it? But why do you need to do that? Because there's the internet now, isn't it?

You can see all of this on the internet. I mean, I saw you in Australia and I was like, she's in Australia, but you could have been in Brighton. Who would have known? Nobody would have known. And actually, apart from the people in Australia who paid to get tickets, to see me. Sure.

Anyone would have cared. Yeah, sure. I appreciate that you did do some shows. Look, how did they go? The shows were great. So you've got a show now? I think I've got a show now, Kerry. That's really exciting.

It was quite the thing. Apologies to anyone in New Zealand that came to that show. But when I arrived, I was like, do I have a show? And then it was fine. And now the show has blossomed and groaned. Grondid. Right. And I believe that I have a show.

That's really exciting. I'm saving five minutes off and it's still over by five minutes. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, no, that's a lovely place to be though, isn't it? Oh, keep, I've got to stop talking at some point. Why? Can't you just do it longer? Like, just do a one hour of 15?

It's not an hour of 15, it's an hour of five. Right. But we all know you get to 50 and you've had enough and then imagine there's another 15 minutes of me. People are like, why is she still talking? I have to get to the end. But I keep shaving five off, Kerry. And five keeps creeping back. I don't know what to tell you.

I think it's something to do with me really enjoying the sound of my own voice, which I do. I absolutely love it. Do you? Do you like it? Your voice, your voice. Mine.

Not my voice, your voice. Do I like my voice? You're talking and you think, God, I don't mind it from... I'm very interesting. I don't mind talking and performing and whatever. When I listen back to my voice. Oh, I don't listen to it.

Oh, absolutely horrendous. Shut up the fuck up. Yeah. But while I'm talking. Yes. Yes, while I'm talking, I'm like, oh, lovely tones. Wow, listen to me. And then listening back, I'm like, ah, how could anyone put up with that irritating woman?

Don't say this. This isn't good PR, babe. I'm really glad you've got, when can I see it? When can I see your show? You've seen it? No, because I saw it ages ago and it sounds like you've done loads of work on it. I'm going to do it always be in September. You can come to that. When does your tour start here?

October. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm not worried now about my tour in October, which was a huge anxiety for me. And now I'm like, oh, I've got a show. It's going to be fine. Everyone's going to really have such a lovely time for it for the most of it. You try to self-promote. What a fucking mess you got yourself into that. Yeah, it's going to be fine. You're going to have a really nice time. Fucking hell. I'm really shit at self-promotion. Somebody said to me, if you were going to do an elevator pitch for your show what would you say and I went oh it's it's about well what it is I know I said you didn't see my last show okay well it's really just a and they were like never mind never fucking mind just leave it leave it I know it's hard isn't it's hard to do the self-promotion

thing because the thing is the thing the thing is the thing come and see the thing if you like me you'll enjoy the thing and this thing I'm I'm actually pleased with the thing so I you know sometimes like oh don't come yet it's not ready I don't for Christ's sake no no no but now like, yeah, come. It's good. It's ready. I find if you just do a bullet-pointed odysy of things that come up in your show, like this is what I would say about your show. Uh-oh. Okay, here we go.

We've got misunderstandings, tiny eyes. We've got, remind me of some of the other shit that comes up. Okay, we've got, yeah, tiny eyes, we've got aging, you've got menopause, you've got... I know, but don't use those words. Use the kooky words to the side of those words. Oh. So I say, my show's got knickers, it's got pygmy hippos. He's got tomatoes

He's got Do I mean? Just make it like a shopping list Of the shit that's in your show Oh, it's got tiny eyes It's got Hangovers It's got Seam and Dave

It's got Seaman Dave I love Seaman Dave Seam and Dave Seam and Dave's great He's really the highlight It's got laser zone It's got Laser Zone, there we go

So if you said What's it about Right, it's about tiny eyes Laser Zone And Seam and Dave I'm in Oh my God That is brilliant

that is how I should bullet point. Yeah, you don't say... Seaman Dave and Laser Zone. And you'll have to... If you want to know more about all of that, come. But don't say it's about the menopause and hangovers. They're like, oh, I've heard about all that shit. You're like, you haven't heard about it from Seaman Dave's perspective.

No. And he's got a good perspective, Seaman Dave. Seaman Dave, it's my favourite character who anyone talks about ever in stand-up ever. Seaman Dave. Have you resolved... Have you put to bed your demons with Seam and Dave? The thing is... I know this.

I know what's coming. It's not consensual. It's not consensual. But Seaman Dave is genuinely a really nice bloke. And what I've done... I don't give a shit, mate. I just want to hear about him in a comedic capacity. But what I've done is I've conflated two people.

And then, but it all comes under the banner of Seaman Dave. And if Seaman Dave watches it, he'll know it's about him because he'll remember the fact that I said Seaman to him about 28 times in my kitchen. So, Seaman Dave, I wouldn't want to upset him. Really? At the expense of a really good bit. Everyone's disposable when it comes to a joke. Ask Chloe.

Chloe is in it a lot. She said to me, am I in this? I went, you're in it quite a lot. I mean, there's a good 15 minutes dedicated to my relationship with Chloe. You've always done that, though. But I'll be honest with you, she comes off great. I don't. I don't come off great.

No. I come off quite badly. And I think that's as it should be. It's a bit like when you talk about Ben, Ben is always the hero. Yeah, Ben comes over great. And you are always the villain. And as is this.

I said to Chloe, basically, everyone's going to walk away from just going, Chloe's absolutely what an incredible human being she is. I'm stuck with this moron. So it's fine. Seam and Dave, on the other hand, that's tougher. That's a tough one.

Yeah, he's got less of an investment in your relationship, hasn't he? He's not as invested in. Yeah, we haven't had kids together. We don't have mortgage, so it's a bit hard. Okay, Jen, enough of this chit-chat, mate. Who are we talking to? We are talking to the wonderful Tucson Douglas.

I love his kooky ways. I love the way he sees the world. If people are wondering where my obsession with pigeons started. It started in this conversation with Tucson. By the way, I learned a lot. I didn't know anything about this about pigeons, and now I have become slightly obsessed with them. It's because he lives in Lewisham.

He just spends a lot of time with pigeons. Anyway, we had a lovely chat with Tucson. Sit back, relax and here he is. We're not a sentimental family. You mean you and your partner or extended? No, like my family. Right. Like when I was digging for like,

and my nan was just the keeper. She was really the heartbeat. You know, she was the keeper of photos. Yeah, the, like, so it would have been a, if she was still alive, she's dead. But if she was still alive, it would have been easy. But then it moved to my mums and she's just a hoarder. God bless her.

She's like, you know, like her trying to find anything in her flat is like, you know, those Thai divers you had to find those kids. It's just like an operation. It's quite complicated. It takes time. You need oxygen. Yeah, there's no guarantee it will work. Like, you know, sometimes it comes back.

Like, we couldn't find it. We couldn't find them. I'm sorry. I find that really reassurance. It's a bit like that. Yeah. If you want like a new guardian from like the 90s, she's got loads of though. They're just on the table.

They're just piles of guardians from the night. It's mad. And I just, when you grow up in that, you just think, it was only when you go to other people's houses. You're like, where are your guardians from the nighties? They're like, what I fuck you want about me? Where's your piles and par? Where do you keep them? It's like, oh, fuck. But do you think it makes you as an adult, someone that is like,

I'm just really not going to go that way? It's good to, we got an extension recently. a couple years ago. And it's now, yeah, I know I really am within the dream. And it's just full of shit. This is what happens. You make a house a bit bigger

by making... You've got to fill the space. You've got to fill the space. Yeah. And I am actually quite pro-space. Like, she wanted to... My partner wanted... No, it's true.

Because I didn't have any space to get. I'm pro-space. But I like having the space as space. Like, I did not feel it. Oh, don't feel it. Yeah, yeah. Because when we first moved in, she wanted, we wanted to get a three piece,

then she wanted another two piece in living room. I'm like, how many people do you think is coming? Also, I just don't want that many people in the space. So we have a three piece, okay, and then it's like that. So that's three friends. That's three people, yeah. Not friends even. Well, I could, I mean, that's not good.

Friends are friends. I mean, there's no, there's no, yeah, people. When I was younger, my mom had a mate who was really minimalist, like properly, walk the walk. She was Marie Kondo up to 11, so she had nothing in her house. As it turned out, her walls were cupboard, so you'd only press it and it would open it. But anyway, when you went into it, it was beautiful and very calm. But cold.

Did she have chairs? No chairs. No chairs. No books. No, no knick-knacks. That's a prison cell. It was like, honestly, it was like a temple. It was like a temple.

I don't want that for my home. I want to be able to sit down. You want to be able to sit down. You want to sit down. There was something about it. I think she's hiding it there. I think it's in her head. I think it's the things are all in her head.

Well, yeah, but it was interesting. And it was a... Her head's full of things. Yeah. Well, we've got things. It's in her head. She needs to know where everything is. I've got things in my house and in my head.

No, but she needs to know where all the things are behind the wall. So the things are permanently in a... I don't know. I like it. You know, when people are like, oh, they seem very, you know, together. And it's all on the inside. That can't be good. I want to know what's on the...

outside. I'm like, oh, I know who you are. I'm like, I don't know who this woman is. I walk into a house. There's nothing there. I've got to like, it's like... We know who they are. They're the psychopath.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't have to crystal make it to find the fucking kettle. No, sure. She was a kind of artist and she was extremely serene. Yeah. She spent a lot of time meditating.

Or her partner was behind one of the walls as well. No partner. No, no, no one was behind those walls. I checked on the, you know of. Family of four behind you. Tim's new Cravable Raps are made for the times your boss said the what now or your teacher mentions that thing I'm a bob. Need to pick me up.

Snack back to reality with Tim's new craveable wraps available in Chipotle or ranch. Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Let's go to your photos and I can see that this must be the first one. Which one? Is this it? Yes, that's it. Yeah, yeah. Me and year two.

Oh, seven? Yeah, yeah. I'm about six, seven there, yeah. Oh my gosh, you are too cute. And the bow tie? With the bow tie waistcoat. That's crushed velvet. If you can't see it,

crushed velvet, deep purple. I always rocked a way. I didn't go to primary without a waistcoat. What's going on here? That's like a class photo. So wait a second.

Everyone's wearing, everyone's just wearing whatever they want to wear. No one's come. It's not fancy dress. You've just come. That's a bit of a dick. No, I just mean you've come.

If you buy fancy dress you mean you're dressing rather well and dapper and fancy. You were a dandy by the age of six. This is the vibe. I was obsessed with, I didn't go to, there wasn't a day I didn't go to school without a waistcoat. I was obsessed with waistcoat.

Not always the bow tie, but the waistcoat. I had a nice, I had a nice blue one as well. In Las Vegas in the mid-60s. Yeah. What's it? Crupier.

Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Crabs game. Yeah, I was in the rap act. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the junior and Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah. What, talk to us about, because you do rock a salt or a real.

I mean, it's quite easy, Kerry. I was clearly on the spectrum, aren't it? I can sum that up with one word, spectrum. But why did clothes come into the looks? Yeah, yeah. My granddad was dressed very depth. So he was like, they were like Windrush generation. My nan and my granddad, like, they came.

in the 50s and they if you look at all any of the kind of you know the the images the footage from there yeah they're stepping off the boat they've got the hats the boat are hats they've got the suit you know they're on the boat for like three weeks but they were just they're just in that like straight on a catwalk yeah straight just walking down the boat ramp as if they're on a catwalk yeah so close sharp clothes yeah he was just a very impressive person in terms of that kind of he just had like I guess what the kids call now, like aura. I don't know. Yeah, they do.

Yeah, Riz, all this guy. But they had natural Riz, these, these old West Indians, these old Caribbean stuff. So I, I, he was kind of like this person. And in my family, people thought I kind of resembled him. So I wanted to, like, be like, I wanted to kind of almost be him. Where's this little boy? So that's Lewisham. So the reason why I remember this photo is because they wouldn't let me wear my badge.

That was the other thing. I'd always, for the class photos, they'd, they must. made me take my badge. So I'm not smiling. What do you mean, what badge? So I had a, I always used to wear a, it was a shiny natural history museum badge. So, because I love, I was obsessed with natural history. I love, I still do.

I love natural history. I love, natural history music. I do, but I've never been given a badge. Didn't even know badges were available. This is like gift shop, which is a gift shop badge. Gift shop badge. I've got, my favorite, because I sort of collect inverted commas, Christmas tree decorations.

I remember, yeah. And my favorite one is my natural history music. Really. Is it like a dinosaur? Oh, the whale. Oh, the whale. It's so impressive when you go in that. I was a bit, I think it's quite controversial losing Dippy.

You know, seeing the whale carcass. I mean, it's not, I don't think it's as good, but it is, is a rust. The building is still, yeah. Literally. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah. And people use that word too much, but it is awesome.

It was kind of the thing I'd do with my dad. I didn't live with my dad, so we do that kind of, yeah. And if you go to museums, if you go to that's, it's just, full of dads. It's such a dad. It's such a dad, you know, you just see like these

I think they're all going to McDonald's. It's such, it's just full of its backpack on there like one, you know, one shoulder kind of thing. They've got to like

jump around there like waist shorts. Some of my favorite photographs of my dad with my son in there. Just in the, where all the dolphins and whales are all on the ceiling. I think dads love,

I think dads love museums because it's just, museums are very factual, aren't they? Because they can mansplained in every, It's just dad pointing. It's just pointing. It's just pointing at things and just like a useless fact.

Used to be of information. My dad and my son. Just talking about what those curly fossils. The mollusks. Yes, those guys. Oh, Ammonites. Ammonite. Ammonite.

My dad loves an Ammonite. Got a pro here. Yeah, maybe. That's because I've got kids. Yeah. No, I've got to take my kids and they're obsessed with fossils and aminites. So when you were a kid, you had the badge. I had the badge.

I had the badge. So I would go in every day. to school with the badge and the waistcoat, which I think we can all agree is a great combo for getting bullied. It's the perfect you're going to get bullied if everyone else is wearing a attractive. Yeah, yeah. And you're the one wearing a crushed velvet purple waistcoat. I don't know, there's that young lad with the flat top who's wearing his cardie and he's got a shirt on. He looks pretty smart. He's right. No, he was smart. He was bringing it. And there's a sailor suit there. I mean, me and him were the ones getting bullied. It was me and the sailor.

me and Donald Duck were getting getting out of being taken out. The village people were in the back. Let's go for those guys. I didn't help myself for it. Because I would, I thought the museum was really cool. And I didn't understand why the other kids didn't think it was as cool as I thought it was.

I would go in saying, I love the naturalist. So I would be talking about all the time. That is so sweet and lovely. And that's the part of children. being cruel that I still can't bear, partly from my memory of being a child and partly from being a parent and witnessing it with my children is that things that we dig is like a source of derision to the meaner kids. So you know that like that being cool. Yeah, yeah. And how we define being cool and you think at that age being cool is just stuff you love. Yeah, yeah. But the horrible

mean kids are like, oh, you love it. Well, we're going to shit on you. Yeah. And we're going to tease you for it and I can't bear that element of child. And it's that bit where your kids, because you've like protected your children from all of that, so everything that they're into, you've gone, yeah, it's wicked that you're into that. Oh, I love that you're into that. Yeah, and then they go to school and then it's like the rug is ripped out from under them.

Or even worse, they start to realise that maybe some of the things that they were into is really weird. Like my son used to love wearing a tutu and pink leggings. And then when he went to school, he was like, Mom, you know that picture, you've got to delete it. And I was like, I said, babe, we're not going to delete it. It's such a beautiful picture. He was like, you've got to delete the.

Anyway, we haven't deleted it. But he, we've told him we have. Yeah. We had to because he was so upset about it. No, of course. He was like, if anyone sees me in a tutu, I'm dead. Fair enough, and you've got to do what you've got to do to survive school. But to be into museums and fossils and stuff, it's so cute.

Yeah, it's cute. But, I mean, the kids were right. I mean, they're absolutely 100% right to move. You were. No. This is Lewish. did dialing down. It was Lewisham in the 90s. Like they were doing me a favour.

Do you know what I mean? If I had carried on that way, I wouldn't be here today. There's so much you want to unpack with this picture. You thought the museums were bad. It got worse in the teenage years. Firstly, that's like 14 something. I love the duvet. But I love the poster. I remember that poster. I remember that poster.

So I got it completely. I thought I was really into new labour at that time I thought it was the bad I thought that poster was so badass because I was like Tony Blair's were demonised and it doesn't get cooler than that so I was like

You got the wrong end of the stick I got completely the wrong end of the stick because it was a now no it was a Tory it was a conservative attack poster but they did they it made me what about yeah be part of Labor

because in my head as a kid I was like I want to be you know I want to be popular I want to be kind of And like new labour was really popular. So this is 97? This was like early 2000. That's when they got in.

No, this is later than that. Oh, really? So they'd already been in? Yeah, this was like early 2000s. I was just really into,

I wanted a red tie, basically. I wanted a red tie. My woman wouldn't get me a red tie. Why not? Because she probably thought, what the hell are you doing, you weirdo?

This can't go any further. Like, what are you going to do? Join the, like, Lewisham Labor Association. Like, it had to stop at some point. But a lot of 14-year-old

were into bands. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I can't defend it. It was weird. It was weird.

I'm on the spectrum. It was weird. I mean, I should have got tested. But there is always a lot of. I think there was a logic to me. In my head, I thought there was a logic in that.

This felt the most mainstream thing there was. The most popular. They'd ridden this populous wave. They'd got elected like if I'm part of this. I'm kind of tapping into something. Yeah. I like my favorite of all of the neighbor was John Prescott. Yeah.

I thought, I genuinely thought actually John Prescott was cool. He was the education secretary? No, he was the deputy prime minister. He was like, he was like their enforcer. Didn't he punch someone? Didn't he punched someone? Yeah, they egged him? Yeah, they egged him and then he, yeah, he lamped him.

For me, there was like no difference between like John Prescott and a rapper. Yeah, he's those vibes. Yeah. I mean, he hid those vibes very well. No, no, no. I'm back, rappers had cool names. John Prescott had a cool name. Two Jags?

Two Jags? He had two jaggs. I don't remember that. Did you know what? Was John Prescott's nickname, Two Jags? Yeah, it was two Jags. Yeah, because there was like a thing where you had like used two Jags for like ministerial stuff. Wow.

I was in, I was, I can't tell you how in deep I was. It was just, it was just a good thing. There was no social media. I'd literally be an in-self. I would have been an insult. 100% I would have been an insult. Look at that photo and tell me I wouldn't have been an insult. What? What? Did you have an idea as like as a young as a young kid like okay so I'm going to go to university this is what I want to do this is where I want to be this is who I want to be.

I mean I knew I was going to uni because that was the plan that I didn't have anything. I did politics in American history yeah. I knew I was going my parents were like you're going to you that wasn't like education was always really important and you know I think in immigrant families it just is like my mom was like yeah I said I think I once said mom. I might have a year off and she went, no. And that was that. Yeah, yeah. It was like, you're going to university. Yeah. They were the bot. I mean, that's why, like, you can't fake it almost.

Like, they were just, you could just see, like, you just wouldn't mess with my, like, my nan was, yeah, we're soft. We're soft. My nan, there was a core of steel running through her. Yeah. To leave your home country and village. It wasn't, it was a strength. It was like, it wasn't like this kind of, we get now, this like, matro posturing and, you know, it was like, it was just, it was just, yeah, it was. It was unshoey, un-fussy, but you wouldn't mess with her.

Like, and she was five foot nothing, but you just wouldn't. She just had natural. You know those women. She had aura, yeah. They can go up to a group of guys with their hoods up fighting and they would just go, what are you doing? And all of them would go, I don't know. Like if I went up to a group of young lads, went, come on, lads, stop that.

They were like, go fuck yourself. But it's these women that can do it. I remember my mum doing that. I remember there was like a group of lads and they were in this big fight. And my mum just stepped up and she just went, what are you doing? And they all stopped and went, oh, oh. And I thought, how on earth are you doing that? Where did that come from?

Natural authority. Natural. But my whole family is women, so all my aunts. And so it's a very matriarchal family. My nan was head of the family. So for me, like they did everything and stuff like that. So like, you know, strength, Vooder, leadership, whatever. You know, they just got on with it, like, basically.

So what's the next? Well, we're going to look at the next picture, which is a view of the cat. But I wanted to try and just wanted to chart your journey from this kind of clueless 21-year-old to the person that went, oh, I'm going to do stand-up. Yeah, I know. That's a bit mad. Yeah, so what happened? I mean, yeah, I'd, so I tried to be to like idealistic kind of stuff like that. Like what?

Like I worked for a think tank for a bit. I worked for like political campaign organization. I ended up being a teacher for a bit and stuff of that. Did you, you trained as a teacher? I mean, trained is very loose. I was very loose, but I was a teacher. And like, it was like local in Lewisham and stuff like that. And so like it felt really good.

You know, I was like from the area. I think it felt like, you know, them seeing, you know, because I never saw a teacher that. I never had a teacher that looked like. me, you know, like came from where I came from and stuff like. So I felt like, okay, cool. Like, you know, I'm coming, I'm walking into school. You know, they're walking in. I'm from the same area and stuff like that. And then it, I bet what led me from that to going on stage? I can't tell you. I can't, I don't know what was in my head that maybe think as a very

introverted awkward. Still I am person that I should, I should go. I don't know what possessed me to do. I don't know. I've always loved comedy. I've loved comedy. I've loved. did since I was a kid like Mr. Bean is like my favorite. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what made me do it. But when I when I got on stage, it was like, oh, everything just made sense. It just made sense. But so you, you're, you made the decision that you were going to try stand up. Yeah. When was this? It's like 2016. 2016. Okay. So right. Quite recent. The job you and I did. That was quite early on. That was, I mean, I honestly, sometimes. Sometimes I think about it's like a fever dream.

I was like... It's mad, wasn't it? Because he was still a bit COVID-y as well, so we were all a bit like... Was that the camping one? Yeah. At one point, I don't know if I make this up, but I swear I was like buried alive. And I just, like, Dave Mitchell was just like, find Tussant. Where's Tussent?

Oh, yes. Where is it? Under Leaves. Yeah, I think this is the last thing I'm going to hear before I die. It's just David Mitchell just butchering my name. Where's Tossent? He said, no vowels. I've never heard anyone say it like that.

Or since I've seen David Mitchell's it. you can say what we want. Tussant. Where is he? Find him. But I do remember that that was a very, like, you hadn't been going that long when we did that. I mean, my theory, working theory,

and I'm almost saying this case, was that it was like a clerical error. Because if you look at everyone else, it was like, former task once successful, task once a champion of champions, task once, task,

me. It was just, open mic, it was. You know, like, it was. Yeah, that you're right. That was kind of mad. It was absolutely mad.

It was no wish. I think by the time, it was like, who's that CIA guy who put the journalist in the WhatsApp chat? Oh, no. At the time they noticed I was on, it's like, oh, it's too late. We're filming it now. I'm going to have to do it. You're just, I was just the new kid. You know what I mean?

And I think it's always a bit hard being the new kid in that kind of respect. You were brilliant. And we won. We won, yeah. I can't believe you won. We won it. Every time you do one of these shows, you win. They're the only two things I've ever won in my.

life taskmaster in there it's too much i can't bear it this episode is brought to you by peloton a new era of fitness is here introducing the new peloton cross-training tread plus powered by peloton iq built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans real-time insights and endless ways to move lift with confidence while peloton IQ counts reps corrects form and tracks your progress let yourself run live Flow and Go. Explore the new Peloton Cross-Draining Treadplus at OnePeloton.ca. It's the matchat or the three ensemble

Ciceroa of Cephora of FET that I just niche who energize o'clock? Mm, it's all over. The form of standard and mini-regruped, what abem. And the embellage,

too beau, who is practically to give to them offer. But I guard the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez.

I'm don't know. The most ensemble, the Cadeo of Cato de Fett is at Ceporea. Summer Fridays,

Rare Beauty, Way, SIFara Collection and other part of Vite-Vit. Procurre you see fourmer and small for a better quality price, on line on SIFARA or in magazine. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points

on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Let's go to this photo. Yeah. Me and Sam. You're in that hoodie.

Is it a different hoodie or the same hoodie? Eddie, yeah. It's me and Sam, that's not my cat, but that's my girlfriend, that's my partner's cat. But you seem like you've bonded. Yeah, we, that's very deceptive. Because in my experience with almost any ginger cat is they like cuddle up to you and then they like go for your face while sleeping, yeah. That's a, not very nice ginger cats. That was a piece, that was a moment of like, d'eton, you know, like we're kind of, yeah, we'd bet, for a, for quite a while. So like, this was like three years into being with her, she got a cat and I didn't realize she was a cat person. She'd kept it quite low key. She'd kept it quite under the

wraps, to be honest, that she was actually a massive cat person. So, and obviously, like, being, I quite like space. Space. Yeah, I'm quite awkward. I like, you know, just routine. Yeah. And so she's introducing this, you know, this cat into the equation. I found it really on set. It's weird. I'm not like, I felt threatened to be fair. Because she really loved. that cat. Really? Honestly, if a guy had come in, to the room,

goes, it's your boyfriend or the cat like with a gun, which one, she's gone, him to shoot him. I'm keeping Sam. You must have played it right

because now you've got a kid. No, no, the cat died. We wouldn't have had a kid if this cat was still alive. That was her first kid. That cat was her kid.

She loved that. She loved that cat. Did you kill the cat? I didn't kill the cat. How old is the cat? The cat, he was like 20. Oh, that's well old. He was old when she got him from rescue.

Rescue, yeah. And the lady said, like, no, no, well, I think she knocked a few years off like, you know, bit dodgy, like motors and O-O-T. But he was even old when she knocked the years off. She was like, he was like 16 or something. So he's like, he's not going to last much longer. And that was part of the incentive. So don't worry, he's not going to, he's only going to be around for a couple of years.

This cat had other ideas. This cat had other, this cat looked around. So how Christy was, I'll be around for a bit longer. So what's going on in this photo? So this is like we were, this was cut like a few years in and we'd. Bonded? Not bonded, but it was an, it was a. He didn't like you even.

He didn't like me at all. But it was a, it was a mutual respect that neither of us were going anywhere. And you must have loved her. There's a lot of love. There's a lot. You must have loved her. Yeah, I did. Yeah.

To love that cat that's chat. It's like a kid's book. The cat that's chat. On the mat. The boy that loves the woman that has the cat that's chat on the mat. I want to buy that kid's book. What's your next photo? That's Dorset.

You should probably know from the gorse. Nice bit of scrub. A lot of gorse in Dorset. So is this, I'd like to think that this is now post-ar camping experience. You're now. country person? That is post camping but it's not because of that but yeah I'm into bird watching

Are you? Yeah. Is that a new thing or have you always been? I've always loved watching birds Right. I've never would have called it bird watching. You didn't get the gear and go on trips. No, I would just look at I was just a kid just looking at birds And is that the little boy that used to go to the natural

history museum? Yeah. That's the kind of natural world enthusiast. I just birds are just I just think they're fascinating. They are They are. And like me and Nan, we'd always feed the pigeons. That was her favourite bird was the pigeons. That's never, anyone's favourite bird is the pigeons. Look, pigeons need a lot more respect on their name.

Pigeons are awesome. Okay, this is your moment to platform pigeons. Okay, 100%. So, one, every pigeon you see out there is not wild. They're not wild pigeons. What do you mean? They're not wild. So they're not wild because every single pigeon.

They're not domesticated. They were domesticated. They're not domesticated anymore, but they were domestic. We domesticated. pigeons. So every single bird out there is a descendant of a domesticated pigeon. As in a homing pigeon? Yes, as in we kept those

pigeons. And so that's why now it's this, they're in this wonderfully like weird place where they're not domesticated but they're not wild. They're just socialised. They're not socialised. They are not socialised. They can fly but

they walk. They walk on pavements just with us. They just walking. And you're right. No other bird does that. No other bird. Except a chicken. Why would they walk where they can fly? They walk and they walk like they know where they're going. What about the parakeets situation? What are your feelings on that?

Parakeets are cool because they're really recent. They're so south London, you know. My mum and dad are in West London. There's no parakeets. Yeah, we've got them in Lewisham. Yeah, I've got them in West Norwood. Yeah, but they start, I think they started in South West London. People don't know.

There's so many urban myths. Some people say Jimmy Hendricks bought them. I heard that one. Then there's another one. What's the others that the Tudors bought them? No. They've been around not... Because I remember when they arrived.

I remember when they arrived in Richmond and Kingston. I remember when I was a kid and we were like, what the fuck are these things? And they're thugs. They're totally. But they are so pretty. But I remember in Richmond Park and seeing a parakeet. We were like, what? And now they're everywhere.

Because I feed my birds and I put all the different feeders to attract all the different friends. And they're in Paris now. Oh, right. They've gone over there. They're over there. There's loads of them. Yeah. They are funny.

And I don't like it when... They look like they should sound better than they do. They sound bad. And they're so aggressive and they do dominate the bird feeders. So the wood pigeons, what's it between a wood pigeon and a... Wood pigeons are separate. Yeah, they are like wild. I love their sound like.

So what are the pigeons that you were just talking about? They would be called feral pigeons. Yeah. And they're the homing pigeon descendants. Yeah, they're the descendants of domesticated pigeons. Well, anyway, those guys, all the pigeons and the parakeets, fuck up my bird feeding systems because I want the pretty ones to come. Yeah, but that's bird discrimination.

Yeah, it is 100%. And also, like, pigeons are low-key, quite beautiful. Share nicely. Because the parakeets are aggressive. Yeah, but they, the parakeets, some of the birds like the fat balls and some of the birds like the nuts. And some of the birds like the seeds. So I put tapas out for all the guys.

You put the tapas out. Bird tapas. Yes, bird tapas. And then the parakeets are like, we want all of it. Oh, they go for all of it? No, no. And then the squirrels. The squirrels. Oh, those pricks.

Yeah. They have everything. Yeah, they're assholes. This next photograph, are you giving birth? This is my favourite photograph, FYI. Is it? Yeah, love it. This was during when we were in hospital before.

Yeah, she loved that. When your partner is, you know, burying down. Hello, hello, hello, both. Let me have a go. Yeah. We just lost our minds. I definitely lost my mind. She had more of her mind. But because we, it was, it was quite a protracted kind of thing.

We had to. Yeah, it's very much a protracted thing. Yeah. It goes on and on and on and on and on. So it's in nourishing my hospital? No, we didn't, we didn't end up. We had to go to, um, kings. Guys. Because, um, my partner has a preexisting genetic condition. So basically they wanted us to have a C section.

Oh, right. It's not, it's, you know. The whole thing they build up to you before and it's like, you want to be calm and relaxing. And you want the oxytocin to flow because that's going to help. And it's like anti-oxytocin. And you're arguing with a parking machine.

It's like anti, you know, the bright, you know, it's just mad. It's like the night time. Bright light is brighter than this on. It's the opposite of the environment you want. It's like trying to keep you up. It's like psychological torture. Yeah.

It's the opposite. So she weighed the pros and cons of going through that. Yeah. So she, yeah, we wanted to give it. She wanted to give it a shot. But then the compromise was we had to. we had to go in earlier. They wanted to induce her

to control it as much. So we were in hospital for like a week. You know, it was just a mad. Hence the time for comedy. Yeah. Time for role.

I didn't know what to do. I'm got, I'm trying to like, I just like, let me try and entertain. Yeah. You know, frick knows.

It's just mad. Everything, everything has changed. Yeah. And I was never a, have a kid person. Really? Why are you not?

No. I love kids. I'm always like, I love my little. little cousins and my nieces, like, I think kids, they're just wonderful little people. They're so full of, like, imagination and creativity. But I was never myself, like, I want to have a kid kind of thing. But here we are.

But here we are. No, but it's brilliant. It's just, he's just, he's just brilliant. He's a brilliant little person. Well, and you're going to raise him in Lewisham? Yeah. Yeah. Born and bread.

He's already got the bow tie picked out. He's got the waistcoat. Thank you so much. Thanks so much for having me. It's so much fun. Tell us what you're up to. What are you doing? Are you touring?

What's happening? So I'm going to Edinburgh. Yeah. Yeah. Debut show. Oh, is it your debut? Is it your debut? It's your debut.

Holy moly. This is very exciting. Have you been out before? I did. I dipped in. a couple years ago for like 10 days see what the vibe was. Are you all going to go as a family?

Yeah. What's your venue? Where are you? What time? I don't know the time yet but Pleasant's Courtyard. Great. What's the show called? This is an exclusive. I haven't actually revealed this yet. It's called accessible pigeon material. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks so much.

Calling all book lovers. The Toronto International Festival of Authors brings you a world of stories all in one place. Discover five days of readings, talks, workshops and more, with over 100 authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketourou Isaku and Kieran Desai. The Toronto International Festival of Authors, October 29th to November 2nd. Details and Tickets at Festival of Authors.ca. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Darid.

And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.