Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E22: Esther Manito

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

"If you love me Neil, you'll sleep with that very old man with his balls hanging out... As he brushed his teeth and went in crying..." The brilliant @esthermanito joins us on the pod this week! Such a great chat, talking about her (hilarious) dad, how her parents got together (which was absolutely crazy) and so much more...  Esther is off on tour with SLAG BOMB this September - tickets in her bio - @esthermanito PLUS... @kerryagodliman and @jenbristercomedy chat about Substance, 'hi guys'-ing, and being an estate agent in the 70s... JEN & KERRY STAND-UP TOURSKerry's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728Jen's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.jenbrister.co.uk/tour/ PHOTOSPHOTO 1: Awful photoPHOTO 2: Meeting NeilPHOTO 3: My father and son ApolloPHOTO 5: Children meeting PICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/ A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel PorterHosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Distributed by Keep It Light MediaSales and advertising enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page.

So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. That photo, but you were very aggressive when I went. What was that? I didn't mean to be aggressive. That was meant to be jovial play. I said, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. As in, that's a cute picture. And you went, what? I'm a cute picture. Oh, you see, that's not how I interpreted that exchange. You used capitals. So you went, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, that's why funny. And I went, do you see the difference between? Nobody's thought that. Nobody read that.

I know you're speaking for. No, I'm speaking for everyone that hears your voice in their head and goes, how would Kerry. Oh, because that's how I feel about your voice in my head. No, my, the ha ha ha ha was to, it. It was basically... Capital ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, the capital ha ha ha ha was to say, and this is very funny. Ah ha ha ha.

Oh, I would have gone with lowercase if you went... No, because that would have been a titter. And what I was trying to say was it? Ha ha ha ha. Hearty laugh. Very funny. It's a hearty laugh. I don't think me and you should communicate through the medium of Instagram. I think there's too much inference.

Yeah. And you're inferring aggression from me when I was showing... And you're inferring aggression from me when I was just, what? Nobody... Nobody. If I meant it aggressively, I was... I would have gone with capitals and I probably would have spelt it WOT. What?

I'd have gone down that road. Oh, okay. So if I see WOT in capital letters, that's aggression. That's aggression. But WHAT without capital. All lowercase. All lower case with a question mark. It's just.

What? What? Right. Okay. I'm going to say, we'll leave it to the listeners. Okay. To go and have a look at that. It's just a way.

And reinterpret. Just to interpret that how they feel. Yeah. They can make their own interpretation. No, sure. Yeah. But I mean, I'm not. I don't want to.

Um. But I now that we have unpacked that, I'm glad that it made you ha ha ha ha. I didn't know, I got told by my agent to remind that the Ipswich audience. Yeah. And I didn't know how to do that. Because as we've discussed before, I'm not comfortable with the high guys. Can't do the high guys. So I didn't know how to say.

What, you've got to get into the high guys? I can't do high guys. You can. I'll work on it. I'll find my way of doing high guys. But I couldn't find a way to do it. So I just thought, I'll just post a picture of me in a TM, Loon Ty, when I was. It was really cute.

Three or four. Yeah. It's quite something. So cute. I do look like I've got a side hustle as an estate agent. Okay. Yeah. What?

Because of the tie? Tye. Wide tie. Yeah. You look like you probably... I look really little. Yeah, but you probably drive a mini-couper. Yeah.

You drive a mini-couper. Yeah. I did drive a mini-couper. I did. Yeah. I was an estate agent and I drove a mini-couper pre-school. You do look like you... Your feet wouldn't have touched the pedals, but you went,

Fast. Yeah. I love a school photo. Mine, all of them, and I think I've said this before on here, just Imbitigo. Have Inbitigo in every single picture. Were you a Victorian urchin? I don't know what the fuck was going on with me, but I permanently had some sort of face fungal infection. Seventies were brutal though, weren't they for fungal?

It was the 80s. Yeah. I think that picture of me was 70s. Because I think I look really young in it. You are ickle. Yeah, and I was born in 73, so it's 70. Yeah, 77. Yeah, you would have been, wow, you're old.

So old, baby, because we're a year apart. You're old. But we're a year apart. So you're like, oh, your child was in the 80s, but mine was in the 70s. Yeah, I actually, I was born in 75, but I really wasn't a child until the 80s. Right. Oh, right. That's when I hit childhood.

Okay, so you're doing your maths. Yeah. It's interpretive, is it, maths? Okay, so, but when I was 4, it was 79, which was practically 80. Right, okay. Okay, sure. Yeah, I am old. I'm really old. Much older than you.

Much older than me. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed that photograph. I did. I actually really made my day. But it was quite a good way of communicating with Ipswich. I got their attention. I mean, you got everyone's attention. Yes.

Well, it's win-win then, isn't it? Who the fuck is this? Yeah. Oh, it's Kerry. Is Kerry talking to its Twitch? Why is Kerry posted this? Hello, Em Switch. Yeah.

No, you're right, actually. It was really good. Yeah, it's just a way of getting it's attention. I think we're going to have to start doing some videos. What do you mean videos? I think we're going to need to. to work you up towards the real. What are some high guys?

Oh, I think you've got to start doing some high guys. I've noticed that a few other comedians are upping their game in that department. You've got to do it. Why? Because everyone's high guising and you need to join him. I don't think I've got anything to say. You did, you had something to say, which was, by the way,

Ipswich, the dates moved. Here we go. Da-da-da-da. Boom. Out. Out. Outro. And then you have a son who would love to edit it. No, he's not interested in me now. Oh.

I had to beg him to do those films with me. He doesn't want to do it. it now. I'm like, Frank, please, can we make a film? No. It's very easy. I could teach, actually, no, I can't. You just offered. You just offered. You just offered. You just offered. You just said, oh, bye, bye, bye. You just offered. So that's, I'll take you up on that. Thanks, mate. You can teach me how to work the interweb. Yeah. And then, because also then you got to add captions. I mean, subtitles. You're going to stick with that and expect me to, you just gone for Eric Morecam and I'm just going to talk to you.

I think we're just going to leave it there. And because they're very focal. I don't know which part of the eye on looking at. You don't even if I can't see. You can't see a thing. Also, I'm really sad about chat GPT because I've been calling it chat GBT for ages. I get acronyms wrong all the time. I can't believe it's chat GPT and I've been calling it chat GBT.

I used to call HMV HIV. So I mean, fuck. Fuck me. That's a big one. It's always been a mess for me. You can't pop into HIV for some trousers. I'm going to go get some new records from. HIV. Oh my God. HIV. I was thinking of H&M. I was thinking of H&M. Jesus Christ. You've got to

cut all of this. We can't have this in here. Oh my God. It's like two middle age women just having a breakdown on a podcast. I sound like a very old Jed Exa with LGBQT. Your Malap... Fuck me. Your Malapropso so getting worse. They're out of control. They're out of control. Yeah. Yeah. It's the menopause though, but also... Is it? Because I was a bit of a twat before. I think your Miloprop started before you were... I've always melapropped. Yeah. But you just called it melapropped when it's actually meloproped.

It's Malaprop. Yeah. Do you know the origin? No, tell me. Okay, it's from a Sheridan play. Yeah. A regency play and a character called Mrs. Malaprop. Okay.

And she got words wrong. So she'd say, I can't remember where any of them. Something about a pineapple is one of them. But she got words wrong. Right. And that's where the words... Oh, you've done a malaprop. You've malapropped.

That's the origin. Yeah, mate. I never learn anything. I fucking never teach anything. So this has been a new experience for both of us. I wonder if I've retained this information when I see you in two days. Ask me in 48 hours what Malapop is. Okay.

I want to talk to you. I don't know if you've got time. But I want to talk to you about substance. Oh, have you just watched it? No, I haven't watched it. But a woman on the plane was watching it. Why didn't you watch it? Because I was seeing it on the plane.

Oh, you should watch it, Jen. It's brilliant. Fucking hell. I felt nauseous watching it. Oh, it's brilliant. It looks... It's body horror. It's repulsive.

It's body horror. Yeah. I didn't know that was your thing. It's not my thing, but that film is brilliant. I can't watch that. It's worth the discomfort. It looks so disgusting. I know it is disgusting, but it's so good.

It's brilliant. Oh, God. I mean, some of the bits were like unzipping her skin. I know. And sticking the needle in sort of already a pump. I bet, I mean, we can't do spoilers, but the end is... I didn't see the end. Fucking hell.

The girl that I watched it, she went, I went, I'm so sorry, but you're not watching the end? Because I'd been watching over her shoulder. She went, she looked to me and was like, no, I've seen it before, so I don't need to watch the end. And I went, but you've gone this far. You don't want to know what happens at the end. You know you had your own telly that you could have watched the end. That's what I mean, I'm not even watching my movie. I'm watching her movie.

What was your movie? I can't fucking remember because I was watching substance. In silence, with my... whatever I was watching. And she said, well, I know what happened in the end. She went, to be honest with you, I couldn't cope at the end this time. Yeah, the ends. I decided.

I decided to skip it. And I went, oh, God. And then there was a bit of me that was like, I can't know what happens. You do have to watch it. Yeah. You are going to have to watch it with the sound off, obviously. And it looked absolutely bananas. It's great, though.

It's great bananas. I mean, when Demi Moore got that script, she must have been... All your Christmases. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great. part. Anyway, sorry, I interrupted you, but I'm beginning to realize that your capacity for dark is quite big. No, no, not at all. I don't have a big capacity for dark. Give me a roncom all day long.

I don't like dark and my kids like dark and I'm like, why are you watching human sentiments? But I, if it's good enough, you know when a thing is so good, it sort of jumps it genre? Yeah. It's that. It's got that sort of vibe. Okay. Let's do this. So who are we meeting today? Who are we chatting to? Who are we chatting to on this podcast? Kerry, today we are chatting to the wonderful Esther Minito. Oh, Esther.

The Lebanese queen. With her main. What's her main? The second she stepped out, we were like, Esther Minito's hair is glorious. What I think to behold. She did bring some lovely photographs. The one that stayed with me was the eyebrows.

Yeah, the difference in eyebrows. Before and after eyebrow situation. Yeah, but you know what? You just need to train them. Train your eyes. I've discovered that you had another life as a hair trainer. Yeah. Something that you'll find out about and so much more when we talk to the marvelous, the wonderful, the hilarious Estaminito.

Did you know that there is actual mythical creature, porn sex? What? Mythical preacher for porn and centals are really big. That's a portal to a world. that I don't want. Yeah. What they're born about... Mr. Tumnus sex?

Yeah, Mr. Tumna's. Hang on, who's Mr. Tumnus? I thought you meant Mr. Tumnus. I thought you've been Missed Tumna. Narnia! Oh, I hate, no, I hate all that. What? I hate all that.

Right. All the magic. This is Junk. The mythical. Oh, I hate anything mythical, fantasy, fucking, no. I hate it. My husband wants to make me watch, like, Lord of the Rings. Oh, my husband's mad about it.

Oh, God. Yeah, Ben and I can bond on Lord of the Rings. He's reading it now. For comfort. Oh, God. I'm not reading it. Frillimbly buff, we need to get across the fumbly fields. Yeah.

Boards of Finglefuff and you're like, oh, fuck off. Fucking grow up, mate. I just, no, I can't be doing with it. That Harry Flutter all of it. Ben was thinking of getting a dragon tattoo from Tolkien. It's a marriage rattler, in it? Oh my God, he's well deep in the midlife crisis. Tell him to go small.

Yeah, his dad just died. He's a lot going on, and it's like, he's reading. My mum died and I got two tattoos. Yeah, it's big. And that's when you get... Has he got any other tattoos? None. No, that can't be his first.

It can't be his first. He's got to wake his way up. If that's his first, leave him. I can't leave him. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You've got to be practical. You got to be practical.

You can't have photos in your 80s of YouTube with him with a fucking Lord of the Rings tattoos on his forearm. Do you know what? That sounds great. Your kids will be getting married and they're like, oh, well, we're going to have to get a long-sleeve jacket for Granddad because he's a fucking billin in the two-theliefs and joining. You're 80. Yeah, that's true.

You don't want to get those albums out. No, men are always in short sleeves. Aren't they shuffling about? Oh, he can't do that. Listen, I need to, we need to have a chat with Ben. I need to have a long conversation. Any other people are too. He sends his love.

He said, when can I see Jen? I was like, I don't know. Thursday. I'm literally going to come around your house on Thursday. Oh, are you? What's happening Thursday? Well, we're doing this and then I've got four hours to kill, five hours to. Oh, yeah, come around.

Is that all right? Yeah. Can I sit in your garden? Come for dinner. We'll be lunch, won't it? lunch just eat yeah at our age lunches dinner we just do one big meal in the middle of the day and then go to bed and go to bed wake up one big meal back to bed again

can't sleep no I can't do that right I'm going to find your photos I know that we do I'm going to find a home last night and that was depressing me oh prawn sandwiches are always depressing I met a friend of mine she's from the United States of America and she was like lived in the UK for five years and then she went back to the States and she said We're about in this day.

Los Angeles. I said one thing I won't, I love this country, but one thing I'll never miss is your shitty, shitty sandwiches. Fair. They are shit. Why are you putting crayfish in a sandwich? What are they doing? Not doing that. They're doing like they've got Swiss, they've got like.

Oh yeah, they really rock a sandwich. Turkey, then they've got red peppers and they've got jalapinos. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? They're not fucking about. She's like, why have you got like some wilted bit of rocket and some fish that's gone off? And I was like, because this is what we do. It's what we do.

Yeah, we don't like to enjoy ourselves. No, not in a food capacity. They don't overdo it. Really in any capacity. I'm just trying to think of things that we do enjoy. It's like my mother-in-law, she's the most quintessential British person I've ever met. And if anything's ever fun, she's like, well, just put a stop to that.

Yeah, lit that in the bud. I don't think so. She's like, I used to come home every day, have a little drink. The moment I thought, put a stop to that. Because it was too much fun. You can't just have fun time. Can't just have a good time. I'm not doing that.

Should we go out for a mill? Why go out for a meal? and you go, Tesco's, get the same thing for three pounds. My mother-in-law, she had this friend, Linda, who live around the corner, and she'd go, Linda came around the house. And I said, Linda, do you need to Jack Daniels? She said, she helped me to Jack Murals. And I said, oh, what's wrong with Linda?

Since George retired, he keeps following around the house and she don't like it. That is literally every couple. That's not having a toddler, in it? Like, he'd come in when she has a poo. Yeah. Like, George, get out. Yeah, George, stop it. But my dad did that.

He got divorced and then came to live with us, and he was just following around the house going, so what's a plan? I'm like, I've got on. I was already married. And also, if I was going to marry an elderly Arab, it would be a fucking rich one. It would be some pov-y-scape one that I've got to look after. I love it when you talk about your dad. It always sort of like, I just feel like whenever you've got like an immigrant parent and they're talking, I can totally relate.

They just have a completely different, like, I don't know, like framework in which everything is sat on. Yeah. To the way that we think about stuff. You know. Because, yeah. And also your parents will say, well, we didn't do it when we were younger like that. But then your parents can also say, well, we didn't do it like that where I come from. So then they've got this double-edged sword.

My dad would just make shit up. I'm like, that never fucking happened. He'd be like, in Lebanon, we dance on the toothpaste to make sure we get every last drop. And I'm like, who one does that? That just never fucking happened. Is he talking in metaphors? He doesn't mean literally. No, he would.

No, he means literally. He'd be like, and if we had like, we'd be like, oh, it's too late to like study or whatever. And he'd be like, in Lebanon, we used to go and sit under the street. He'd lamps and you're like, well, you didn't. That just didn't happen. You're just a fucking liar because that just never happened. But it's entertaining. Yeah, it is.

It's insaneing. When he's following you around your own house, critiquing, going in my country, I'm like, well, go. Honestly, I've got trawl. He's made me the biggest racist because I got trolled really badly and they're like, oh, your dad's probably an illegal immigrant. We're going to investigate him so we can get him deported. I'm like, good, get him out.

It's doing my fucking head in You can get it done before Sunday And he's just like Who wants to deport me I'm like Shelly 49 She seems like a lovely girl She said she came here on a boat

No I didn't come by boat Why is she saying this Fucking hell I remember someone said that to my mum I've lived here longer than you have When are you going home? I love that you go home. You go home.

Someone said to my mom, I can't understand what you're saying. She went, I can understand what you're saying, so it's your problem. Fair. It's fair, isn't it? Yeah. I love that. It's very easy to rebuke a... A racist.

Yeah. It's on very thin ground, isn't it? They're not the brightest sparks. Tim's new Cravable Raps are made for the times your boss said the what now? Or your teacher mentions that thing I'm a bob. Need a pick me up? Snack back to reality. with Tim's new cravable raps available in Chipotle or ranch.

Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Listen, your first, shall we... Let's start with this photo. This photo. Oh, fuck off. That is the worst photo. Why is it so... Can I say you provided the photo?

I know. I didn't find this. No, I know. I provided the photo and that is the most harrowing photo. Why is it so sepia? Right. What the fuck's happened to this picture? I tell you what it is.

That is the photo my father carries in his wallet and has... done for the last, that I was 14 there, I'm 42 now. And he's carried that. What's 42 minus 14? Yeah. Look at the tits on that. Oh. Massive. Not only massive. Put a fucking bra on it. Well, you don't have to wear a bar if you don't want to. But if you're going to wear a crop top like that, you're taking a big risk. Because you're going to get one of those underbooboog situations. I was a kid. Like, why are my parents? And I said to my dad, I said, why the hell didn't you put me in a bra? And he was like, well, Leon, be free your child. I was like, be free. There's being free and then there's being free.

Something's going to hang out the bottom. And also I'm the youngest of my siblings. I'm like Shrek on the end. No, I'm not. Then he put, so he carries that in his wallet. So it's your sisters? Yeah. And then he shows it to people.

These are my three lovely daughters. And then I swear to God, every time somebody meets me who's only seen that picture, they'll go, oh. Oh. Oh, all right. All right, yeah. Because we assume from that there was a lot of. What was going on in your life?

You're 14. Yeah, I mean 14? Yeah. All munters at 14. No, but that is Monty and then there's mantis. I can show you worse. I've got 14 year old pictures and you would be like, wait, what? Why am I 12 foot taller than my siblings?

I'm just like, you know when cuckus have like that random, like they leave their eggs in random bird's nest and there's just one massive bird? That is me. I'm just the cuckoo kid. You do all. Where are you awkward at that age? You remember being that age? 14. Yeah, I was pretty awkward.

So that look was like not thought out. You were like, this is the best I can do. No, yeah, that was, what I'll do is I won't wear a bra. I probably was wearing a bra even. But back then it was all, you didn't have like normal bras really. No, it was no underway. We were wearing a sports bra that didn't quite fit. Or you went the other way, which is you had no tits and you went to Tammy girl for a full underwear.

And it was like, what's that for? Yeah. Or you put in those chicken fillets. No, I never got involved in those. No, I never got involved in those. Well, I didn't have to. At 14. Where would I be putting them into the tops of my socks?

So, yeah, 14. Monobrow. Just, that was a kid. I was so badly bullied at school. I had a monobrow, yeah. Did you? I had really, but yeah, well, look. Like literally in, I mean, I've trained my eyebrows now,

but I literally just had one eyebrow that much. It doesn't mean you've trained them. It would go, it would go just go in here. So it just went in. You've plucked them. You haven't trained them? I don't pluck them in the middle anymore. I don't need to.

You mean you've trained them? Well, I used to have to pluck all the time. And then they adhere. Now I don't. Now I don't. Pavlovian. eyebrow. They go, oh, I see what we're doing. That's how much of a formidable force this woman is. She can actually

train her eyebrows. She's the only woman on the planet. Listen, I mean, just saying, I used to have to put out the middle. And she's like, you want to fucking grow on my forehead? I don't think so. Not on this face, mate. And it's like, well, I might train my pubs then. Yeah, try. I had to, I went to got my eyebrows threaded though. Just so I've done that once. Okay, just to let you know.

Oh, I always get them threaded. All right. Yeah. Okay. So get my eyebrows threaded. They went from here to the top of my forehead. What? What were they threading? Oh, no. They do do that. What do you mean they do do that? It's so funny when you're getting your eyebrows threading and they start just shredding up your chin and stuff.

They're like up here, up here. Why? They barely touch the middle. They just get rid of it. They're just so used to doing it all. They got rid of everything and they were literally, I was halfway up my forehead going, I'd pretty sure I don't have an eyebrow up there.

But she was going for it. Yeah. And then she did my cheeks. Yeah. Bum cheeks. Yeah. I just got my, just one. Slip down.

Just slip your knickers down, love. You're like, I don't have hairy bum cheeks. I don't have hairy brown cheeks. Trust me. There's hair on there. I went for a, when I went for a bikini wax, and she started waxing me actual cheeks, and I said, have I got hair there?

And she went, what does that mean? Oh, wow. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I've got hairy hair. Someone would have mentioned it. I know.

Sure, I would have noticed that. Somewhat. I mean, you've got kids. They've gone, mom, we've got hairy ass. Yeah. They're just quite. Oh, kids will point out anything. Yeah, they'll say anything.

I got my, uh, waxed. And basically halfway through, she went, and what we're going to do about your mustache? And I went. Wow. I said, oh, she goes, we are going to do something about that. I went, no, we're not going to do anything about it.

She went, okay. And then just carried on waxing and we never spoke of it again. And I left thinking, do I have a moustache? But that was her intended outcome. Yeah. And then I went home and I looked. And do you have one? Yeah, I absolutely had a moustache.

So do you get rid of your moustache now? No, it's just sort of trained it. I've trained it. You really have trained, yeah. No, I lazered it. That's what I do with my moustache. Oh, you lazered it? I lazered it.

Oh, you need to get that done. Well, no, I'm not. pointing it. No, I plucked the odd, the witchy ones. I pluck, yeah, I should get it lazy. No, I lasered it. In the eight 90s, I used to bleach it. Do you remember, Jolene? I love the way you did that, like you used to have a soup strainer. Like you stood on a railway train. You used to be joling. We all bleached it. We all bleached it. We all that's not a thing now anymore, is it? No one. Because it went orange. So you just had an orange mustache. Yeah. There was like a bunch of us girls, we were all sort of Mediterranean

and we all had, we all looked like Colonel Sanders. I don't know what we were doing. That really annoys me that you had Mediterranean mates because I was the And you're only Mediterranean kids. So all the kids were like, you are so disgusting and gross. And the boys used to just pick on me. And everyone was like, why are you so fucking gross? And so that's what that end up.

That's how you express yourself. That's why. Safran Molden and Essex. Oh, well, that's why. I went to school in London. Oh, no. So we used to go to London every Saturday. Just my dad would be like,

because we used to spend every Saturday at Edgeware Road. Every Saturday we used to have to do a full shop at Edgeware Road at Green Valley Supermarkets. Lebanese Town. Yeah, Lebanese town and they go for lunch there. And my dad was like, this is the only way to get you to experience being like, well, even, yeah, just being around Lebanese people because I grew up in the whitest of white town. Really? Yeah.

How did your folks end up there? Why did they pick there? Fucking hell. So the way my parents met is the most mental story ever. Excellent. Oh. There's loads of mental stories. Yeah.

Well, go on anyway. So my dad basically, he was being kicked out of schools continuously for being a shit. In Lebanon. Yeah. And so it got to a point where they were like, right, well, now we're going to have to send you to Egypt. So he got sent to Egypt when he was like 13. And they were like, because he had his sister lived there and he was and they went to school there. And he got kicked out for being a shit there.

So they were like, right, well, now we're going to have to send you to the UK. So they sent him to the UK when he was like 14. and he ended up in Birmingham. And he then did his A-levels in Birmingham and then came back to Lebanon and then went, no, I want to go back to go uni. So he went to uni in Gateshead. So coming to the UK made him go to school.

He did like school here. Well, he did like college. So he could fuck around and be independent. Right, right. Yeah. So then he went to uni and then he met my mum as part of the Communist Party at uni. Where was the uni?

Brilliant. I love this. Newcastle. Newcastle, yeah. Yeah, my mum's from Gateshead, so it was Newcastle uni. And they met doing a sit-in for Vietnam, against Vietnam. And then, but my dad was supposed to marry his cousin. Right. So he went back to Lebanon because he was engaged to his cousin.

And my mum said to her friend, she went, oh, but I love him. I love him, Pam. I love him. So they decided, and my mother's parents didn't approve of it, either. And so her and my mum was already married. She got married at 16. Wow. Yeah, to get out of the house because she came from a very strict working class house. So she got married at 16 and then she left him and went to uni. It was a nice guy apparently, but she was like, I want to go uni. So she met my dad,

fell in love with my dad. And then she went to her friend. She said, I'm going to go and find him. So she hitchhiked from Newcastle to Lebanon with a mate. They hitchhiked across Europe. What is this? I know. It would have been, well... Early 70s? Early 70s? Yeah.

Early 70s. Oh my God. So she's got loads of stories about her and her mate, who she still mates with now, actually. She's gone to meet her in town for Lodge today. That was not... That was quite a dangerous time to be hitchhiking. Yeah. Oh, she's got loads of stories.

She's got so many stories. Her and her mate. Iraq, Iran and all the stuff that was happening around. So really, you go across Europe and then you go through Cyprus, and then you get a boat from... Cyprus, a... Cyprus. into Sider, which is the town that my dad's from. And she was the mate, Lynn.

And he didn't know she was coming. No. She's like, I'm going for him. Yeah. I mean, I think this is what we call the old school Facebook stalking, but in virtual, like in reality. Or the best film I haven't seen. I mean, I want that to be a movie. That's a great story.

But she rocked up. She rocked up inside her. And she went to the, she just walked, they walked straight into the local. because Lebanon's tiny. It's smaller than Wales. And the town's really small. And she rocked up and she went into this little shop, which was a shop that sold toilets, bathroom toilets. And she said to the guy behind the counter, she went, do you know this guy? Do you know where his family is? And he was like, yeah, he's a really good mate of mine. And so he called up my dad and my dad was like, and so my dad just turned around to the family and went, look, this woman's rocked up and

I'm in love with her and she's just come here to declare her love. So I'm not going to marry my cousin. I'm going to marry her and the whole family were like, what the fuck. And no, I know. No. No. No. My grandfather actually was very, very, he was a very, very tolerant person. And so he just said, well, you know, so be it. And so my mom. But even though your mom wasn't Muslim or there wasn't that that big deal? No, because my grandparents, even though they were, I mean, my grandfather was a judge in the high court, in the high Islamic court. And my grandmother, you know, wahab and prayed, but they never, ever, ever said their kids had to be religious. That is a story, isn't it?

That is a love story. A guy from the toilet shop is my godfather. That is such a great. I mean, I can't. How old was your mum at the time when she hitchhiked? She kind of, what, 21 or? Yeah, she was like 21, yeah. 21, 22.

I mean, that's amazing. She must have been well into your dad to, like, hitchhike across Europe. Yeah, you wouldn't fucking know it now. No, cool stuff. Well, so then. Not together now. Yes, so I did a show about it. I did a show called hashtag Not All Men and I did this story in it.

And my mum's watching it like, I fucking can't. Look at me. I fucking trekked across the world for him. So, yeah, but yeah. But romantic at the time. Oh, yes. Very romantic. Very intense.

How are your parents together? They got divorced when I was pregnant with my daughter. So they got divorced 11 years ago. Oh, right. So they were together a long time. Oh, but they didn't. Yeah, I mean, like bitterly. They didn't like each other for ages.

But I think that. That's what happens. When you get together with somebody under such a romantic guy, you can't sustain that because once you're married with kids, then it's all the normal boring shit. And it's like, where's all the protesting? Where's all the politics? You know, she married my dad. They moved back to Lebanon. My, my elder sister was born under, you know, Israeli bombardment. Everything was just drama, drama, drama. And then they moved to- - That's very stressful. Yeah. And then you moved to Essex. And what was three?

So my dad, they had to leave Lebanon because of the war. So they'd be. moved to Athens and that's where my middle sister was born and then my dad got a job he was applying for jobs and he just happened to get a job that was in a sound company audio engineering company that was in this little town in Essex so they moved there wow that's where you grew up and that's where I grew up and you could have grown up in Athens or Newcastle yeah and both my sisters used to say to me because I used to be like no no like I'm not the shit one they're like where were you born mate you were born in really cool places you got to ship plays.

Let's go to your next photo, Esther, and this is you. So this again is the eyebrow situation. Eyebrows. Now listen, you've really embraced the big brow. You've browed it up and it suits you. But this was a point where you were like, I'm going to thin it out, babe. That was the, do you remember though? Were you training them?

I was, yeah, I trained really hard. You didn't train them hard enough. Fucking how. It really changes your face. Do you know what Carl Donnelly said? He just looked at it and he went, God, you look different without eyebrows, don't you? It really changes your face. It's like the McDonald's arches.

Don't you remember though? Yeah. In the early 2000s you weren't like no one had eyebrows. I mean I've always had to. By the way, trip down memory lane. I used to work in this building. This building? Yeah, leather market.

I did you what were you doing? Hello, BT Helpline. Esther speaking. Oh my God. That is when I was a student and I used to have to pluck my eyebrows for three hours. Continuously. So I used to sit on BT Helpline in this building just continuously plucking. Just continuously plucking.

Because you've got a strong brow. I've got a strong brow. And literally I would pluck them and by the next day the stubble was there. So I had to pluck every single day. I cannot believe how thin they were. I can't believe you did that. You must have like your eyebrows must have been like on fire every day. I just plucked continuously.

Because when I plucked my eyebrows. It's good to have a hobby though. They swell though. I was so bored on that helpline. I was so shit at that job. I don't telly sales. I mean it's you've got to have something to do. I literally said my mates who because we were all at uni and we all worked here

and I've just sent them a message on the group chat of me outside this building and they were like, oh, yeah, PCSD. Yeah. Who's that with you? My husband. No, so that's when I met him. And you're just, right, so you're a brand new. Brand new.

Oh, literally you've just met him? Well, I think I'd met him like that weekend. Wow. How old are you in that picture? Oh, babies. Oh, you met young. Yeah. Like old fashioned times.

Old fashioned times. Like your mum and dad. Yeah. Oh my God, it is like your mum and dad. Well, and he weirdly, he does, he doesn't not look dissimilar to my dad when he was young. That's really creepy, isn't it? Ben and my dad look a bit like. Yeah, in that weird?

It just happens. But he looks the same now. That's he? And everyone just goes, look at you. You've got no eyebrows. But then men didn't have the pressure to get rid of their eyebrows. No, they've got a whole different set of pressures. Where did you meet?

Lester Square. What was that nightclub called? Hyperdrome. No. Oh. Was it Hippodrome? Lester Square. No, capital.

Do you remember capital nightclub? No. I literally never went out. I never went club into Leicester Square. No way. I went capital nightclub. Met Neil. Really?

Yeah. What sort of club was it? What sort of music? Like R and B. R&B. Bit of hip-hop. Okay. Met in there.

And then add a snog on the number 43 bus. Oh, yeah. Great bus. Yeah. And then married him. And then I married him. And then I married him, yeah. How long between meeting and marrying?

How many years were you guys? I got married at 25. That's quite young for modern times. For modern times. I mean, in oldie, worldly times, normal. I mean, for the Tudors, you would have been married. I mean, I've been parents generation. For your parents' generation.

But a lot of like... Tudors, you'd be on your last legs. You'd be literally that far from the Grey Factory. You've had five kids. I know, I can't say that to my daughter. She's like, oh my God, I don't have to do that. And I'm like, you know what? In the Tudor time, she's like, I hate the fact you're already...

always reading that Alison Weir. And the Chudas, this, the Chudest. I love a Chudor. This was Chudor's time. You'd be married with three kids. That's all your own shit out. You'd have wooden teeth, pipe down. She's like, stop reading it.

Makes you so aggy. My kids are quite great nowadays. You know what I mean? We're all harking back to her time. We were never alive. She goes, my... In other times you'd be dead. We were alive.

My kids go, I hate her when she's reading one of her Henry the 8th books because she starts slamming around going, God, he was a bastard. When he was a bastard. Fucking men. He's going to her Summit's channel You don't need

Henry the 8th to be doing that to be fairest so we could have just done a gig with three comedians and were like oh fucking men

I ran about Henry the 8 in my show and it's such a you turn everyone's like where are we going now

and I'm like yes I will run about him because it still gets on my nose we all need a bit of a little section

on Henry the 8 oh good don't what a wanker what a wanker so you two have been together for a

land's time We're together since we were kids, really, so kind of grown up together. That's really nice, though. Yeah. Well, he was older. He was 26, 25 and I was 21 when we got together. Did it feel like early on you were like, I think this is the real thing? No.

Really? No. But you were 25 when you got married, so you were committing young. Yeah. I'm literally at 25. I didn't know my ass for my elbow. There is no way. I was going to ask green earth I could have committed.

No way in marriage. at 25? When I first met him, I just thought, no, I can't go out with this guy. Right. Because he's, you know, he was a rugby player and a lad and a twat. What did he make of your... And I was just like, I don't think so. What did he make of your family, your dad?

And what did your dad make of him? Oh. So I didn't tell my dad for a little while that I was going out with him. And my sisters were like, you can't, you can't go out of him. can't go out with some fucking rugby player lad and all the rest of it and it was all very tumultuous and then he met my dad and my dad said to him we met and then my dad said to him if you ever want to have rugby rehearsal in the garden that's okay and I said to Neil I love the idea of you just in the garden back by yourself with a rugby ball. Just like, look at him.

There goes. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that was your dad trying to connect. He's just having a little rugby rehearsal in the garden. But your dad's like, I've got nothing to say to this guy. Yeah. We've got nothing in common. Rehears rugby in the garden. But also, my mum said, let's play a trick on Neil. So I brought Neil to meet the family and my mum said to Neil, look, in Lebanon, it's, it's culturally tradition that when the daughter brings the man into the house and he's staying the night, he has to spend the first night sharing a bed with the father. Oh my God. And my dad at this point then burst into the living room wearing nothing but t-shirt and

boxes and the boxes was so short that there was a bit of ball bag hanging out. And Neil just went, he just turned to me and went, I don't, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can do it. Oh my God. This is brilliant. I was like, why, nice, nice. I'm asleep with him. I love that he thought, that was.

in Lebanese tradition to sleep with your father-in-law. Because my dad's so deaf and oblivious, we were just carrying it on and he's like, oh, what? And we're like, no, it's right, dad. You know what we have to do, yes. And Neil was just going, I don't, I think,

no, because I can just go home. I don't need to, no, I don't need to stay. And I was going, well, that's, do you love me? If you love me, Neil, you'll sleep with that very old man with his balls hanging out. And I don't know what your problem is. God, I bet he must be.

When did you break it to him? As he went into bed with your dad I think it was my sister They just went oh leave him alone And yeah As he brushed his teeth And went in crying This is your kids

Did you start having family straight away Um Oh that's when I introduced my girl To my boy The day he was born Oh they're so cute And she just looked at him And I went that's your brother

Look at your daughter She's so gorgeous in this photo And your son is what all babies look like, just like a little squidge. Well, so my son when he's born, my son is my dad, but we didn't realize that. And my son, because he's got these giant eyes and they're really downturned, so he looks constantly like a Labrador puppy. So we've always called him puppy.

But my dad, he looked at him and he just went, he looks like he's given up. I was like, this is only his first day here. He was like, first day he's already given up. He has no. Wow. Because everyone was like, now you've got a boy. This is going to be the boy and the family. Because when we got married, all my aunts were like, and you have, we wear shoes sons.

And then I've got this boy. What is the obsession with sons? What is the obsession? If only you have a boy. You have a boy. Hey, girls are great. And then we had this boy. And my dad, because my dad was so disappointed when I found out I was having a boy.

I said, we're having a boy. And he was like, I don't know what to do with boys. Oh, yeah, because he had three daughters. Yeah, he had three daughters. And he had three daughters. And he was like, I don't know, what do I do with boy? And I was like, well, he's coming. So deal with it, actually.

And then when he was born, he was just like, and everyone was like, you've got a boy, you've got a boy now. And he was like, look at this boy. He's already given that up because my son was just like, oh, looking all depressed. Are they bonded now? Oh, my God. It is, he is a very small version of my dad. Is he? And they both do my fucking head in.

They are both there just like, yeah, they do my head in. I said to them, you're lucky you're both so fucking cute because I would seriously slap the shit out the pair of you. So they hang out together? Yeah. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, they hang out together. Yeah. But that was the doubt.

But I still remember when my daughter when she met him. What? And she just went, I went, that's your, that's your baby brother. And she went, oh, there's biscuits outside on a trolley. Yeah. Yes. I mean, the age gap looks similar to my two, older sister, younger boy. Not really bothered.

This is. Are they close? I imagine they get each other's kids. But their relationship where they fight and they laugh a lot. They're psychos kids, aren't they? Because like one minute they're literally beating seven bells of shit out of each other. And the next minute they're like, and you're like, I can't keep on the table of siblings.

Yeah. You know, they've got that to do all that with. Yeah. Yeah. Have you got two? Yeah. Your two will probably get closer as they get older. Yeah, they're getting closer now.

They're really enjoying Twin Peaks together. Yeah, there you go. How old are they? David Lynch is the bonding. They are 18 and 15. Oh. When they can go to the pub together? Well, Elsie's leaving home in September.

She's going off to college, isn't she? So now they're going to bond in. Where's she going? Liverpool. Can't handle it. No, I'd go with her. I've got a lot of emotions. Yeah.

Just do what my dad does. Turn up every Saturday. Yeah, maybe I should do that. I did say to her, I'll come up to Liverpool quite a lot. She was like, no, don't. I'm going to Liverpool. We didn't have that option. Just say, I'm coming every Saturday.

I'll pick you up. Oh, God. We're going to go out every Saturday. Your dad is classic Mediterranean. Yeah, we go every Saturday and we have lunch. You can even do it in that accent. Oh, okay. Yeah.

We should be like, who are you? Do a scalp sentence. I am Esther's dad. I love, the thing is, but my mum was never asking me anything. She would just tell me, and I'll be doing this. And you're like, okay, but don't do that. I am doing it. Yeah.

There was no. Such a different way of parenting. No way. There was never, I was never consulted. Right. How do you feel if I arrived here and I did this? I would feel like it was very intrusive mom. She'd be like, I am coming to and then you can do this and then we will do this.

But my dad thinks if he says it in a really sweet way that there's no way you should say no. So he'll just come in and go, would it be all right if we go to B and Q and look at light bulbs? And I'm like, I don't want to do that. Would it be all right? I want to hang out with your dad. You're great. I'll go to being Q with him. He drives, he drives Neil fucking nuts because Neil go, but I already said, I'm not doing that.

And he's like, Neil, I'm asking you to do this with me. Okay, and it really, and Neil's just like, your dad will not take no for an answer. No, no. Before we get to like the Apollo, because you... The journey of stand up. Yeah, I don't, like, how did you get into it? I don't think, because I remember doing a gig with you. It was quite early on, whose gig was it?

It was above a pub somewhere. Yeah, I remember that. I was terrified of you. Why? Come on. I think we were nice. I was nice. No, you were nice, but you were Jim Brister.

And I just started and everyone was like, Jen's like quite amazing and she's Yeah amazing Yeah She can train her and eye

This was years ago Jen Can What do you mean What do you mean You're scared of me What do you mean you're scared of me? Why are you scared of me?

I've got really nice energy I've got lovely energy No you're I get this People are like Elsie said to me My daughter She was like my friends are quite scared of you

Why? Okay This conversation is over I only seen you on telly. No, because they met me. I am quite impressive. But done with warmth. I don't, yeah, I hope with some warmth.

I mean, a lot of aggression, I know, but with warmth. Yeah. And when I came away and I said, oh, I met Jen Bristair, and then everyone was like, oh, that's the comic that everyone fancies. And everyone does. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's...

Look how embarrassed she is now. It's really good fun. Men, women. Fatia. I remember when being Fatia once, and like, this is a woman in a hijab. And she was just like, oh, fucking hell, Jen. Oh, yeah. So Fattia and my husband, because my husband's also got a crush on her and he's like,

oh, Jen, she's well fit. And Fattias, like, yeah. Smash the shit out of that. That's a bend diagram I never thought that I'd be like, yeah, in the middle of our portal. Do you want to throw some, Neil and Fatia? Let's go. Him and his England shirt, O'Noo shirt. England rugby shirt and Fatty and a hijab.

Oh, my, sandwiches. This is a sick of all. Don't mind me. Just happen to be here, guys. Can I'm crayfish and rocket, please. So is the sandwich I'm demanding. Anyway, let's change the subject. So you were at that point, at that point, when you started doing stand-up, how did you get into it?

Did you do one of those comedy courses? Yes, yes. And why did you want to do it? Because I think now, looking back on it, I turned a breakdown into a career. Excellent. Oh, well, that's literally all that's. So I had the two babies. He was four months, four or five months.

She was two. and I sat at home and going, I forgot, I don't know how to talk anymore. Because I had really bad. Did you have a career in inverted commas before? I was a teacher. Oh, right. So I very much had a career. Yeah.

I was on maternity leave. I was working part time. And but I just sat home and I think where other people go, oh, no, I'm really unhappy. I'm having, like, post-nout depression. What I did when, because I genuinely felt happy with the kids. I was like, I love the kids and I love being with the kids. But there was just something in me that went, I can't talk. anymore because I've suffered horrifically in my 20s with like anxiety to the point where I

couldn't even leave the house and stuff and then I'd got over that and I'd had the children and then I just suddenly felt this I can't talk anymore I've got nothing to say to anyone so I was going to like parent groups and I was just sat there going I don't have anything to say and I had nothing to say at those groups no no one does but you know when you're like I couldn't even make small talk I was just scuttling I was just scuttling around and then my friend went to me do want to come and do this comedy course and I thought well I won't do the stand up. But by going out and doing something creative, it will just kick me up the ass a bit and shake me a bit and it will stop me from falling back into an old habit of having crippling

anxiety. So I went and did the course and when they made us stand up and talk in front of the group, even though as a teacher, but when they may just tell a joke in front of the group, I did it, came off throughout, throughout outside the thing. Like the adrenaline was like, it's a lot. The adrenaline is a lot. Because when people say, but teachers, they must be really, it's like, Yeah, but you don't have to make kids laugh. Yeah. What saying, something can,

expecting people to give a positive reaction is very different. Yeah, yeah. Shut up and sit down. Well, you know if it's working or if it doesn't because in that moment. Yeah. And what did you, did you enjoy,

did you know about comedy before? Is it something you privately always liked? Yeah, yeah, I did like comedy. And did you have a secret, secret, tiny little hope to do it one day, or was it totally like, no, I never thought, I never thought I do stand-up comedy. Right. But weirdly, it's only once I started,

my dad said to me, do you know I would have always loved to have been a stand-up? Right. But I never knew that about him. But it was somewhere in your bones. So, yeah. So he, but he's very funny. He's really, really funny. And so he was like, yeah, that was something I'd always wished I could have done.

Right. I mean to comedy. But my dad always watched comedy. So you did have comedy in your growing up? Yeah. Yeah. And did you have an intention to go back to teaching once you were over maternity leave? Yeah, no, I did.

So I started. went back to teaching. What did you take primary or secondary? I taught, well, when I went back, I was teaching foundation degree at University of East London. Oh right. So further education. I was teaching sociology. So I was lecturing a couple of days a week and then I was doing stand-up. Wow, that's quite, that's quite fun on. And two little kids. And you had kids under two. And having two kids as well. Yeah. Jesus, how did you do that? How did you do that? I look back on it and I do think I do think it nearly broke my marriage. It sent everyone completely loopy.

They're like, what the fuck are you doing? Stop it. And I wouldn't have done it unless it was my dad. Because my dad literally went, I will take on the babies. I will do whatever you need. But you are doing this. Oh, that's so great. Yeah.

Let's go to your last photo, which is gorgeous, which is a picture of your lovely dad and your son there. hands. Isn't that a cute picture? It is a really cute picture. Adorable. The falling leaves representing the moving of time, the cycle of life. It's just such a sweet picture. It is. It's because that's just a little, little, little, little, little bit of my dad as well. Where is it? Where are you? Just walking down an alleyway near my house. It's lovely. I know. It's really cute and you can see how close they are, you know. Well, because he spent, when I was lecturing, he spent a lot of time with my dad.

Oh, actually, he also went into the crush at the uni, which was run entirely by these lovely Bengali women. But my son then used to start saying stuff in a Bengali accent. It was so cute. Oh, my gosh, that is cute. He'd be like, I mean, it's cute until he gets older and it's like, you're not like to do that. But he'd be in his cot going, I want to get out. That's so cute. I recently gigged with an Aussie comedian Chris Ryan.

She supported me on a tour in Australia and New Zealand. And she spent her first seven years living in India. Right. And she had an Indian accent. Oh, really? So she was like, I had a fool. I said, oh, so you lived since then what was that like? She was it was great.

I follow her on social media. I love her. And she has basically, like, she was like, and so she can do this incredible accent. She goes, I obviously can never do this in public. Yeah. But she goes when I was like up until I was like seven, eight until I moved to wherever they moved to somewhere else. Right. How come she grew up there?

Her dad worked his, worked. Yeah, it was one of those. I used to live in India. Did you? Yeah. We all lived in India. We lived in Chennai. Fucking out.

India's a mental place to live. Yeah. How come you do? What does he do? I too. But it was doing, you remember when there was a real like offloading of outsourcing to India? Yeah. All the offices.

So he went to set up. Bangalore was a key place, wasn't this? Yes, we travelled to Bangalore quite a lot. And so we moved over to Chennai. How were you there? Just over a year. That's a lot of time. And then we had to move from there to Dubai and we had to live there.

But I liked India. This is pre-children? Yeah. India. That must have been amazing. Pre kids. You could just hang out and do what you like. Yeah, it was great.

Yeah, it's very full-on India. If you're around on you, I've never been sexually assaulted as much as I was in India. Where were you though? North India. Yeah. See, South India, Tamil's are really chill. I was in Tamil Nadu I went to Tamil Nadu

Yeah It's like the sort of The temples are like amazing Yeah You do get like people constantly Wanting to chat to you and stuff Of course But I'd never felt

I think You never got I got groped once But no I travelled a lot Around Tamil Nadu But I never got groped in India I had a man It must have been about 80

You could barely stand Came up behind me Put his hand up my sarong And grab my I went mental and everyone laughed. I thought it was hilarious. And then when I spun around, it was like an elderly man. Oh, that's not okay.

Just went, that's awful. It wasn't a saddo. It wasn't a saddo. And I don't think that would have helped. The old bloke's. Yeah, I don't think the holiness would have helped me. Oh, God, I'm sorry that you had all that in India.

Yeah, you've had a lot of that. Yeah. Thank you for your pictures. Thank you so much for your pictures. Are you taught to us? What are you, what are you promoting? I'm off on tour in September. What's the show called Estaminito?

It's called Slagbomb. Slagbom, brilliant. Love it. Yes. Where can people get tickets? They, where, uh, your website is what I mean about things being different now because people now tour sooner. Like I wouldn't have toured, like now comics are touring.

They get touring sooner to build up a touring. Yeah, that's true. It feels like I waited a long time before I toured. And now more people from your year at school get touring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's true. And this is my second tour.

Yeah, you're right. That's a bit mental, isn't it? They can get tickets through my Instagram link, Facebook, I think. And, yeah, on my website as well. Estabonito. Dot. Go dot. Google or sort that out.

Google or sort it out. Esther, thank you very much for coming on. We love having you. Thank you for having me. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday?

That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday?

I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it?

That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.