Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E28: Kate Bradbury

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

"I was a weird 24yr old that started writing for gardening mags when my mates were out getting drunk..."The brilliant @kategbradbury joins us on the pod this week! What a treat.Kate is a multi-award winning author and all round wonderful human.- We spoke about coming out, allotments, bees, gardens, Manchester, Brighton and so much more.Kate's latest award winning book is out now - One Garden Against The World - BUY IT NOW!You can also find her SUBSTACK - https://substack.com/@katebradbury?r=1lda72&utm_medium=iosAnd Follow Follow Follow her insta - @kategbradburyPLUS... @kerryagodliman and @jenbristercomedy chat about arachnophobia, agoraphobia, childrens books and the suitability of 1980s films for kids.JEN & KERRY STAND-UP TOURSKerry's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728Jen's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.jenbrister.co.uk/tour/PHOTOSPHOTO 1: Me and my sisPHOTO 2: Mum's gardenPHOTO 3: Me and AndyPHOTO 4: Joan's weddingPHOTO 5: ToscaPICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel PorterHosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. Hello and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair and I'm Kerry Godleyman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page.

So have a little look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Look, I need to take you on a training workshop where if you are, ask a certain type of open question, you get things from people. That's how... Okay, all right, all right. I can do an open question. Um, so Kerry... Look at the agony. Wait, I haven't started yet. Right, okay. So Kerry, when did you buy that kettle? That's ridiculous. That's a closed question. Why is it closed? It's closed because there'll be one answer. It's probably quite boring and it won't elicit a conversation. All right, well,

Let's talk about that soup. That was a great soup. Thank you. Let's talk about that soup. Okay. And it's the second soup that you made for me. I have made you two soups, which is a comedy sketch with Julie Walters in T-shirts.

Yeah. It didn't elicit quite the response. In fact, if anything, the opposite, because I actually ate all the soup. And can I just say this? No. And can I just say this about the soup? Not the one I made you last time,

but the one I made you today. Yeah. For extra cockiness and smuggery, okay. I grew the courgettes that were in the soup. Oh, you grew those courgettes. So a homegrown courgettes in a homemade soup. It tasted homegrown.

Did it? Yeah. There's a different. There's a different. There's a like a nim, in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't get that with supermarket courgettes.

I knew it instantaneously. And also I knew that you'd roasted them and not shried them. It shried them. You haven't tried them. I'm so glad you didn't shri them. No, I've tried shriving. And I've stopped striving. He's striving them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I strive to shrive, but I've stopped striving. Keep going with that. I, yeah, I'm glad you liked it because it is a cookbook I use a lot by a bloke called Gilmella. If he's listening, I don't think it will be. I don't think he's listening. But if he's listening, very welcome on the podcast. No blokes are listening.

What, two women talking? No, thanks you. I think I'll pass. About shriving shooop. You've got to listen to this new podcast. It's two middle-aged women talking about soup. It's so edgy. And you'll never guess.

In both soups there was hazelnuts. Both soups had hazelnuts. Yeah, we're not talking about that. No. Why are we not talking about that? Well, well, we are now. It was delicious and I'm really glad you liked it. I did.

And as I said to you before, I think, without even realizing it, you've done some great advertising for this guy's, recipe book. Yeah, for you. You need to get it. Yeah. I'm now committed to it. I'd like it.

It's very autumnal. It's awesome now, isn't it? It's autumn. Yes, we're in the spider season. When you're walking to spider web. He's spent a lot of your day. Yeah, huge. They're like that.

Yeah. Do you like them? Do you have any strong feelings about them? I don't mind them. I don't mind them. I've got friends who are literally terrified of them. There's a proper word for it, acro.

Arachro. Not aquaphicic. That's the people don't go out. I am trying to say it and it is an acrophobia. Aquaphobia. No, it's not an acrophobia. What? What is it?

What is it? Arakna. Arakophobia. Arachnophobia. What did I say? I spent way too much time with you. I used to be able to say words and I said them correctly. Don't blame me because you can't fucking speak.

Don't blame me. You're wronging off of me. You macrophobia. And that's the ones who don't go out? Agrophobic. Agrophobic. Yeah, yeah. They're not hyperphobic.

Is the spider one. Yeah. And you've got mates that of that. Arachnophobic. Right. Yeah. They're not agoraphobic as well. They go out.

They do go out. Yeah. But and they're pro phobia. That's the clue. Like heart. The heart rate. Like actual fear. You're right.

Like can't panic. Panic. You know. Yeah. That was a really good act out. Did you like that? Right. It was really good.

In the new up and coming. Strangerephobic. Agrophobic, acrophobic, agnostic. Agnostics. What was I going to say? Yes, I don't have... Have strong feelings. I don't have strong feelings about spiders.

I wouldn't want one crawling on my face at night. No. I mean, that would be ridiculous. I have a strong feeling about that. Yeah, fair. Because if they're getting on with their business and you're getting on with my business, I don't care what they're doing.

And if one comes to you, like, by a window or maybe in the bath, you don't go, ah, he's just like, oh, you're there, I'm here, it's okay. Yeah, absolutely, I don't. And actually, sometimes when I see them in there, I'm like, I hope you're all right up there, you're okay? Yeah, hope you're all right. I hope you're all right.

They are, they're always all right, just FYI. They don't ever seem to have any problems. Did you, listen, did you read Charlotte's Web as a child? Because that can change your whole relationship with a spider. Yeah. Oh, my God. A traumatic, traumatic story. Yeah, I still got PTSD from Charlotte.

Really, really. I read that book three times, I think, just because I wanted to cry. No, I've never read it to my kids. I bought it, and I wanted to read it to my kids. And every time I produced it and gone, there was two books I bought. One was Animals of Fatherswood and one was Charlotte's Web, and I was like, these books, I love these when I was child. I love it. I love it.

When parents bring things to their kids like, no, thanks. Would you like to? Oh, yeah, what was the other one? I'm reading Dogman. The Box of Delight. Yeah. Nice like it. I'm reading Captain Munderbantz.

I turned up with Box of Delights because I used to love that. I don't know that one. Anyway, I started reading it to them and they went, why are they speaking funny? I said, well, it's just because this was written in the like 1950s or whatever, just after the war. I said so. It's not really funny.

This is how English people spoke back then. They went, no, I don't want any olden days books. And so we had to, that was shut down very quickly. Right. And so when I produced Charlotte's Web, no thank you. No, thank you. And what's the fathering wood. It's a really, I'm already halfway through,

not even midway through my speech. No, thank you. It's horrible. It breaks your heart when your kids don't want. I mean, sometimes you have to be careful because some of the things that we're very nostalgia. This has come up quite a few times with film, less so books. But with film, you can be like, let's watch this as a family. It was one of my favourites for when I was little, and it's just riddled with problems. And actually, the things that they offer us are brilliant.

Like, I watched, I would I watch the other day with Frank, stop animation, the doll with the buttons. Oh, what's that? Oh, it's good for this Halloween times. Oh, um, girl's name beginning to see. It's not Tim Burton. Oh. It's really. It's really. Riddle. What's his name? Oh, this is good. Oh, can you cut this? Can I look it up and then you can... Oh, no, no, keep all of this. No, don't. No, no. What's his name? Where's it? How are you? What's the shape? Chris riddle. Chris? Uh, Chris, is it Chris? Just wait. No, I'm here. I'm totally committed to this. Chris. Riddle books. I'm on the tenter hooks. Famous. It's a famous one. Is it? So famous. Not Otterline. That's another famous one with the button. Bees

Clear I'm here I'm back Beginning with C Fucking hell Are you seriously I can't remember Coraline

Oh Caroline Yeah yeah yeah yeah I watched that the other day Never seen it before It's really good Brilliant yeah So Frank in a way He will bring more modern films to me

And I'm like team wolf And he's like No thanks No thanks Hasn't aged well Not John Hughes Hasn't aged well No John Hughes

probably was inappropriate at the time. Yeah, that's what I said. I made my kids watch space balls. Ooh. It was really funny. Did it hold up? I mean, bits of it were like really inappropriate, but they didn't get it, so it's fine.

Right. But I mean, there was a few, they were like, why is he, why is Darth Vader called dark helmet? And I was like, oh, well, a helmet is, dark helmet is, never mind. Anyway, Charlotte's whip. But going back to Charlotte's whip.

web, I do think that made me, maybe that's the function of these kids' books with creatures in, is it makes you a little bit less, you know, I wasn't scared of spiders probably because of Charlotte's web. Oh, right. I suppose. Like I had a bit of a bond with spiders because of Charlotte's web. Yeah. Yeah.

And pigs. And pigs. Yeah. Well, they're not in it. I still eat bacon. But you've stopped. So well done. Yeah, I guess the messaging of those things is don't eat animals.

And don't be scared of. spiders, spiders, yeah. And don't eat spiders either. Don't eat spiders. Do anyone eat them? Is there any vibe? There's people out there that they're doing. There's protein in them.

Is there? Probably. My dad ate baby bees when he went to Japan. Okay. Were they like sweet? He said that. He said they were honey. Yeah.

Tasted of honey. I mean, who might to say don't eat bees? You're Gembrista. You can say what you like. Well, I actually think, don't eat bees. Okay. I'm going to say it. Say it.

So when I said, who might to say don't eat bees, I realize it. I am. I'm saying Don't E B. I think we've got a shortage of bees. We're talking of a shortage of bees. This is a really good link. Jesus Christ, we never do good links. No, never. And I would love to say that I engineered that, but I totally didn't. No, no.

It was an accident. We were talking about bees. And it just so happened that our guests. Yes. In this episode, yes, Kerry. It's Kate Bradbury who has written a book. She did write a book about the bumblebee. Okay, let's look that one up.

The bumble bee flies anyway. Yeah. I think it was called. Which is a memoir. Yeah, she's a nature writer. She writes books about, and this one is called One Garden Against the World. And yes, she's a brilliant, she writes memoir and about her nature and a garden and the development of her relationship with nature and all things. And she tells these stories about a bee that she made friends with.

I mean, I'm slightly over anthropomorphising the bee. They've completely overly anthropomorphized it. Agraphic. Agnophon. Agnostic. Arachnophanopanos. But yes, Kate Bradbury. Kate Bradbury was, this was such a lovely chat. I really enjoyed you. I feel like she's she inspired you. I hate the very thought of anyone inspiring me, but I think she might have. Anti-inspiration. Jesus Christ. Why would you say, I hate the thought of being inspired? Yeah, it's too much. It's a lot to take on. It's a lot to take on.

It's a lot to take on and also, then what do I do with this inspiration? Well, you have to get, I'm sorry that I shamed you in the pod, but you've got to get the Astro Turf up. Carrie, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Anyway, this is us talking to Kate Bradbury. Holy shit, that is exactly. Oh my God, I totally remember getting a pen, a blue felt tip pen. Look, we should be saying this on the thing. And drawing around that and my mum, and that blue felt tip never came off.

and even until we got rid of that sofa it must have because we had it until it literally was like bare like there was still blue felt tip around that I don't think my mum ever recovered from that Yeah because this is why we can't have nice things Sanderson isn't it It's probably a knockoff, won't it?

Yeah Like everyone had it Everyone had it Wherever we got ours it would have been the equivalent of DFS There's no way we went to like flipping it No because like Laura Ashley was massive then wasn't it Yeah I remember I used to go with one

My mum would like go to Laura Ashley to calm down Right. She'd go because the music was so calming. It was like classical music. It didn't it? It was smelt funny, didn't it? Laughanery. It's not the old, isn't it? No. It is. It just smelled of loveliness. Oh, my mum used to put me in Laura Ashley dresses and I hated it. I hated it. I think it was a bit too floral, but there was... Yeah, a bit busy. But when I was about 10, I was really into Law Ashley. I thought everyone was... But there we are. And then I was allowed to go and choose my new wallpaper. And it was Law Rashley. And I chose... Emma. Remember that was called Emma. Okay. What did that involve? Flowers. Okay.

Heavy floral. Everything, Laura Ashley. This is pre-Cath Kiddsen, who is now the new floral queen. I know, but Liberty's different. No, Liberty's classy. That's another. That's what I mean, Liberty, that's what I mean. Laura Ashley. Not Liberty, Laura Ashley. But Laura Ashley, for me, felt like a little bit,

I don't know. I always associated it with old ladies. Yeah. I'm not saying it's not, I'm not saying it is. Kerry, I'm not... I know, I'm not saying... I'm just... I just thought it was the vibe at the time. That kind of kits, retro vibe.

I think I've been stuck in a kits retro vibe my whole life. I don't think I understood retro when I was 10. Yeah, but I was brought up with all that, wasn't it? Yeah, you were, that's true. You are retro. I am now, but not when I was 10. I mean, that's bleak, isn't it, being retro at 10. How would you know what retro isn't 10?

You haven't even got... You haven't even had a life yet. What's the future equivalent of retro? Futro. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice?

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that's like a retro bummer you have to put me in the crack I'm not gonna move my sister was really ginger and it was 1983 so everyone said she looked like Neil Kinnock oh she does look like Neil Kinnock she does have a bit of a Kinnick vibe to her but the reason I sent you that photo was because they sort of put us on the sofa together to have some pictures taken and I was just more interested in my shoes.

Well, they're great shoes. And you're looking at them just with such pride. And I'm just like, with such pride and not at my new sister. These are your Clark's 1980s. Red. Red. Peyton? Yeah.

Oh, what's? These are spesh. Mm-hmm. I can remember looking at shoes with the face like that. Just pure, I can't stop gazing at them. Yeah. And did it, do they have like the little, because I can see this. They were like sandal things, weren't they?

So you could see your socks through it. You could see your socks through. I had a pair like that. And they're special because they're red. It's wide toe. Really wide. Great is special because they're definitely not for school if they're red. No, well, it was too young for school.

So I was two and a half and she was just, I don't know, I don't know, how, are three months? Yeah, she looks about three months. You were rocking a knee high sock. A kid's still doing knee highs? Yeah. 100%. Okay. That's not going anyway.

Okay, that's good to know. No frills though, because I used to, when they put me in frilly socks, I used to take the frills off and throw them out in the window. Do you remember the socks? And I think you're wearing them. Oh, like knitting ones. This kind of, yeah. Like you, because we used to have blankets like that. Like you've just been to hospital or something.

They're like a bandit. I love them. Yeah, they're like those. I love them. I had loads of those and then eventually the hole would get bigger and bigger and you'd have one massive hole in your bandage socks. And I like the way that it leaves a dent on your skin. A little dotted flesh.

I am having such a real... This is a very evocative photograph. It's really like I'm really zoning in on the detail. But also in a way, weirdly it the colour of it looks almost like it was taken recently but made to look like it was retro well everything's back now

isn't it so yes that would be like you could replicate that I like the way that it's slightly out of focus as well oh it always what we had this you're out of focus but your sister is like I'm obviously that's probably the only one where it was that way round my dad

had this like SLR camera but then it broke sort of when she was about six months or so there's No photos of her, there's very few photos of her when she was a kid. So for her 30th birthday, I went around to all the relatives and got photos of her. Oh, did you? Oh, really? What a lovely sister.

But I was making up for last time. Okay, you're an absolute cowback. I was making up for you. I'm preferring the shoes. Sisters is a whole world. Sisters is a whole world. I wish I had a sister. We've got a sister.

We've got brothers. Yeah, brothers. She's got loads. She's got a fleet of brothers. I've got one. But I feel like a sister would be. And then, so I always. had like a sort of fantasy about what would my sister be like and how close we would we share

stuff and then I meet people with sisters and I like oh no we fucking know we get that too we didn't really have a conversation so we're in our sort of mid-20s really so what's your age gap two years I've got another two I've got another sister who's 15 years younger as well okay and where should you grow up Kate Solihull oh right yeah it's been to middle yeah she's all Brummy way yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah bit yeah oh is it really boring did you just get out young Yeah, when I was 18 and I never went back. Never went back.

And all your folks are still there? No, my dad lives in Suffolk. But my mom and my sister, they moved out to a little village and they lived for like two-minute walk away from each other. It's very... Oh, that's nice. Yeah, for them. You're just glad to not be a part of that. I put the M-25 in between me and my lovely family.

You've got quite a lot of space between you. It's a big end road between you and then. When I went to uni, Mom was like, why are you going to Brighton? It's so far away. And I was like, mm-hmm. So what was it like growing up in Solly Hall? Is it suburban? It's suburban.

It's all I remember is of being a child in Solly Hall was there was loads of punks on the streets. I was very excited by them. That is something I don't really remember punks, but I remember where I grew up, skinheads. Ah. Skinheads and mods. Skinheads and mods.

So everyone had a maheican, like a bright pink maheican. Cropo puns. Yeah, oh, that's proper. We'd go around in Solly Hall and they'd just be mahic and snogging each other. very exciting. That was literally the most exciting thing. That's pretty exciting. Yeah, it was quite exciting.

I don't think I saw Mahook until I was a teenager and I thought it was the most exciting thing I'd ever seen. Just somebody with all their hair spiked up and shaved at the sides was like committed. I was like, did your mum let you do that? I mean, to be fair, most of them are probably like 35. I don't know. The mom was involved here. So we know each other because we've met at Chelsea. We met at Chelsea. And you were and you read Bumblebee, didn't you? Yes, I did. And then we did. And then we did. And then we talked about that on the old interweb and now I've got your new one here and I just you're writing so beautiful. Oh thanks. It's just very very moving and especially this one because that kind of just

just that notion of one garden against the world and the conversation around climate change and how overwhelming that can be and then just to make it a manageable concept in your own and you do that so beautifully. Oh thank you and how's the book been going? Yeah, all right I think um I've been the people's book prize in summer which was very nice. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Huge. Thank you everyone for voting for me. And then I got long listed for the Wainwright and the Wainwright's like the Booker of the nature books. The Booker. Yeah, the Booker Prize equivalent of nature. Wow, that's amazing. That's pretty. So that was really nice. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, yeah, it's good. It's nice. Do you like writing? Do you enjoy writing? I like

writing. Yes. I like sitting at home writing. Yeah. Talking to anyone, yes. That's my thing. That's my thing. So did you, when you, When did you start writing? Oh, like when I was about four? Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, I just used to write little, it sounds really silly, but it was just like write little stories.

I was one of those kids where like you just knew what I was going to end up doing from like the minute I could, I don't know, I was out of nappies really. Really? So if it was sunny, I was in the garden and if it was raining, I'd be writing a story. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. I mean, I'm not though. Every mother's dream.

No, what did you know when she's in the garden? The gardener when it's raining. She's got to arrive and bring her back. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, you know, I just ended up writing about gardening. Did you? Straight away, that was what you wrote about, nature writing. I had a little, I was a music journalist for about 10 minutes,

and then that was really hard to get into, and I realized that it would just take years and years and years to actually get paid to do anything. Right. And the thing about, and then I started, I was just, I mean, I was that weird 24-year-old who just started writing for gardening magazines when all my friends were just drunk but how did you so when you were you I was also drunk but you know but also right for gardening magazines and just getting the piss ripped out of me but how really

how are you doing that because like I don't know like when I was in my 20s wherever I lived there was no gardens you know an allotment at 20s see that is unusual because I've come to now love gardening but I've got a bit in my new show where I say I've had an allotment as well I had an as well but I have recognised it it's a chapter of middle age that I'm leaning into and my mum was into gardening when I was young and I used to think get up off the floor old woman and now I am on the floor yeah and I like it but I didn't know any other 20s no and this is the thing is that my friends now what I do is acceptable to them and they come to me and they ask me for advice but before they were like okay what you're doing well so we used to go clubbing and then sometimes I'd just go

straight from the club to the elopment really and I'd just chill out on the elitment Come down up there with the pulse. Have a nice time. And then I, and then this is again another very sad thing. You know, I was subscribing to gardening magazines when I was sort of 22. And, you know, hiding them. Were you hiding them from your mates? I just think that's so delightful.

Better that than subscribing to some shitty women's magazine. Oh my God. And then watching God is, I know, I just remember my girlfriend at the time. And, you know, I was living in this sort of high-rose flat in Manchester and, you know, going to these wild parties with this really hot gal, And she just, it was fight. She came around on Friday night and I was watching Garden as well. And then I watched her the gardening problem.

And she just left. There's nothing I can say. I'm not here to watch World War Gardening. Oh. Oh. She wasn't right for you, Kate. Let her go. She's gone.

Who's this? Who's in this next picture? So this is me and my best friend, Andy. So we've just celebrated our 30 year coming out anniversary. Oh, really? Which is very cute. Where did you meet Andy? Uh, through friends, he was a couple of years older.

Down in Brighton? No, in 30 years ago, I was 14. Oh, okay. We were, we were at a friend's party, and there was rumors that he was gay, and there was rumours that I was gay. Right. And then, and then he was... You came out of 14, yeah?

And then he went to get, he went back to his house to get some CDs, and he said, does anyone want to come? And they were all nudging me, saying, go, go, go, go ask Andy if he's gay. And so I did... And these days were going, go and go and ask Kate your shoescape, right? Is that because your mates knew you were a lesbian? So they were like, go and see if you've got a mate. Yeah.

Go see if he's a pender as well. Because he was out. And I didn't, I hadn't got a clue because obviously it was 14. And so, yeah, he sort of, we had a little chat and then he took me to a gay youth group. Not on my mate fancies you, but my mate might be gay. You should go and check it. I mean, it was solid hole in the 90s. I mean, I literally, you know, nobody was out.

So then you went to this youth group. What was this? It was just a weird youth group in, but. Birmingham on a Wednesday night and we went on the school holidays but then we ended up in a gay bar afterwards which was obviously very naughty because I was underage but um you could drink under age then it's not a thing now no but it was then what do you mean it's not a thing now well kids can't get served they have to like be 18 they have to have a ID or really good fake ID but you kind of had to have ID no everyone was under I was drinking in pubs at so I was but you just showed like an

NUS card that was clearly fake yeah then don't allow it now really yeah um Anyway, so yes. So we just, we went back to Birmingham. What you mean, so last week, we went back to Birmingham, we went to all the gay bars that we started our little. That was your anniversary celebration. Go back to the exact same gay bars. Are they still there?

Some of them are there. I mean, none of the gay bars I went to who's still around, they've all gone. But by the mind you, there's that little strip in Birmingham, isn't it, in the centre? Yeah, her street, yeah. And so we went to, we went to Missing Bar where we used to practice our Spice Girls routines. It was very cute. Oh, this is so cute. Very cute.

So he was like your best mate from me. He was my best mate from teens. Yeah, and he's like my brother, really. And also he lives around the corner, which is very straight. And what does he make of your gardening enthusiasm? I mean, he's very proud of me, but he doesn't get me. It's great having a mate, though, like, that you have such a kind of... Connection.

Well, yeah, it's a connection, but also it's such a... I don't know if... Because I don't think it is a big deal now, but when we, you know, when we were young, you had to, like, calm out. Because I think kids now, there isn't this whole coming out thing. It's just like, oh, I'm fluid and this and that. Yeah, I'm coming out. Back in, half in, half out.

Doing the hokey-cokey. Whereas before, you're out. And then you had to, it was like a real big song and dance, wasn't it? Yeah. And it was quite, it could be quite traumatic. It was really traumatic. What was the reaction? What, from you two coming out?

Yeah, parents, mate. Parents sort of disowned us both, which I think was why we were able to go out into gay bars when we were 14. Because we were sort of, you know, abandoned emotionally. Okay, that's fine now. Don't worry. and friends I don't know I mean yeah it was horrible being at school picked on

yeah I mean you know I was quite strong but I didn't go to PE after I came out ever for about two years Really? Yeah Because the girls didn't want to be in a changing room with you They didn't want to be in changing room with you And then one day on Valentine's Day They all

saved up to buy a dozen red races for another girl in the class And they said they were from me Oh, that's so cruel. So mean. Oh, that's so mean. So mean. They would do that in a hetero capacity, but in your story, they did it in a lesbian capacity. That trick, that trick of pretending flim flam is into wah-wah, but don't.

That is a fucking horrible teen Valentine's trick. And it's like, and then with the extra twist of the, you know, a little dash of homophobia as well. Yeah. It's just, yeah, it's quite bleak, you know. Shitty. But, and then, yeah. And then, you know. Oh, I don't know.

Just being in the gay bar sometimes. There was one that we got locked into a gay bar because the National Front were outside wanted to beat everyone up. It was a lot to deal with when you were a teenager. Yeah. But, you know, I had Andy. And it was great. We had each other in it.

That was really beautiful. We've had this really beautiful, strong friendship for 30 years. Yeah, and it's quite, and that sort of, I'm not saying this is positive, but there's almost like a bit of trauma bonding. Do you know what I mean? Which I actually think comedians get as well. the same but you know we all kind of like we can be quite close just because we're it we put ourselves in these quite sort of like often traumatic spaces but um I think that having a pal

like somebody that is sharing that experience with you that understands you that is also facing the same kind of um prejudice and it's so important and like the fact that you guys I kind have had that but we're not with a friend of mine kell but we're not close anymore we kind of drifted apart but he was really formative and really important to me when i came out and really sort of held my hand when did you come out i came out much later i came out when i was 22 but i mean i went to an all girls conference school in the early in the early no oh my god it was the most homophobic place you could be like literally the biggest insult was that you were a leza yeah it would be genuinely dangerous if you'd come out girls used to go there used to be a girl that would go around checking

everyone's nails and if your nails were short she's like lesbian and if you there was another weird thing that if you touched your earlobe because that's what lesbians do they touch their earloat yeah it's true though it's true we do actually you're doing now yeah did you not see it's like the freemasons Kate and I touched each other's earlobes just early on I'm on to you guys oh yeah it's a different I can't remember anyone you couldn't be in at how when I was at school no way that's one so impressed that you came out. Yeah, I had these three kids

used to walk to school with me and I never really understood why they were walking to school with me and we would just walk to school together and they'd always join me in but have a nice time and I felt very popular and then about five years later I realized they were all gay.

They just weren't out at the time they just wanted to hang out with a gay person but weren't, you know, and I was, oh thanks. No, we could have hang out at school together and that would have been... Actually better? Better to have some out of solidarity.

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Now streaming on Paramount Plus is the epic return of Mayor of Kingstown. Warden? You know who I am. Starring Academy Award nominee Jeremy Runner. I swear in these walls. Emmy Award winner Edie Falco. You're an ex-con who ran this place for years. And now, now you can't do that. And BAFTA award winner Lenny James.

You're about to have a plague of outsiders descend on your town. Let me tell you this. It's going to be consequences. Mayor of Kingstown, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus. That photo is So my mom Had a brain hemorrhage a few years ago Which ended up being in the book

My first book, Bumblebee Flies Anyway And that was a photo When she was in hospital So the day after she went into hospital I sort of went up to Birmingham And I took photos of her garden To show her in the hospital Because she was missing out in spring

Oh she was missing all the blooms coming through But actually I wasn't able to show her Those photos for two months really? Yeah, she was so poorly Oh wow How is your mum now? She's all right

Oh good Happy ending She's all right Yeah, mad as I had her But she's all right So is your mum really into gardening as well Did you get tips from her? Is that something?

No, we've got family No No I'm off mum See you later Is it like when If you and your mum both like music But you like different music

Yeah Yeah She does things to fill in And actually one of my first sort of memories as a kid was she'd go around all the daffodils and she'd tie them up into knots which is what you did in the 80s. But that was very generation, I was sort of explaining this to someone

the other day that my grandparents' gardens were so neat. Yeah. And we just don't have that. That's not in fashion now, is it regarding? But my mum still does that and she's got a little bit of an influence. She lives in this sort of estate now where, you know, they have a sort of communal gardener and but he's off sick at the moment and I went around the other week

and her lawn was quite high and I said, oh look at your lawn, isn't it? Lovelland she said, well. It's amazing. It's amazing. No. Because such a different way of like, it was like that English country garden but then was like really pruned hedges and like plants like in a row and yeah. You put certain colours together but you wouldn't put certain. But as now it's like I think we appreciate how important nature is and so you have to give it a little bit of wildness and let it do its own thing to encourage insects and birds and she'd come on board with that. A bit.

A bit. I think, you know, it helps having me. They're constantly sort of talking about it. But yeah, and she's got a little courtyard garden. What's very cute is that over the years, she sort of widened the borders and made it less paved, which I obviously appreciate. And, you know, there's 30 million gardens,

what I say in this book. There's 30 million gardens in the UK. So yes, I wrote about my one garden against the world. But if we all put our gardens to good use. Yes, that's a lot of land. That's like the area about, I think it's half the size of whales or something. You know, it's a huge...

Yes, a lot. It's a huge opportunity. for just for corridors so that hedgehogs can get around. Headogs need to travel two kilometres a night in search of food and a mate. How would you create a corridor for a? You just cut holes in offences. Because they're all trapped in.

Right. And they can't get about. And then they starve when they're trapped in. I mean, this is the thing. It's not like they're bored. It's that they starve. And then frogs as well, frogs and toads and nukes all need those passage rays as well. Birds need food.

Bees, particularly with, by. diversity loss now, habitat change and all of these things, a lot of bee populations are becoming isolated and actually our gardens can help form corridors between different bee populations so that existing populations don't become inbred. And you can actually do something. You can plant a flower and a bee will come to it and you're providing food for that bee. Yeah. And that's like, you know, you get a reward from that from doing something. You and bees. You won't describe. There's a bit, I can't remember if it's this book or the other one, but just use stroking bees, giving bees drinks. It's like a sort of Disney animation of getting to bees, hanging out with bees, saving bees.

Keeping them in overnight, yeah. There's, I think when I wrote Bump, it was in Bumblebee, and I called it Adrian. And every year, if we have a mild, but it's true, if we have a mild winter, a mild winter and early spring, then the bees will come out, bumblebees in particular, will come out of hibernation early. And then they get cold and wet, and they become grounded. So you'll just find them on the pavement. and they're just like, oh, I see, I've seen that before. Yeah.

What are we supposed to do with them? Take them up. Give them a name. Give them a home. Yeah. Stroke them. So either put them on a flower. Yeah.

Give them some sugar. And if there's no flowers, then what I do is if I'm near home, I'll take them home and I'll give them some sugar water. Yes. And sometimes if they don't take the sugar water, you can just stroke the little back of their abdomen and they all to take it. It's the most pleasing finger. With your little finger. I mean, you don't have to do that. I mean, it's a lot, actually.

But why has she got on? I'm quite busy. This is the micro moments, the planet saving me. Listen, the next time I see a bee, and I have seen Bumble's bees. Start scrolling, start stroking bees. I will, I will put, I'll take on that responsibility of adopting a Bumblebee. Oh, they'd love it. This is the other thing as well, getting children, because that, even just putting a bird feeder out,

and then all the guys come, and then you can stand and look at them from the window, and kids love it. And that's like two hours of entertainment. Two hours of entertainment. Especially around here, the parakeets get involved. And they're like the punks. Yeah. They're like, they're very aggressive.

They're very aggressive. Very aggressive, Kerry. But there's a whole kingdom of birds that now come, and it's really easy to attract them. And you get frogs and you've got life a little. You get frogs. You get toads here. That's nice. Maybe I made that up.

I don't know. I don't know the difference. Maybe it's frogs. I've got newts. Kate, don't look at me like that. I don't know the difference between a frog and a toad. She's got Astro Toe. I'm just saying.

You haven't. Have you? Yeah, but look, in my defence, we've got... She's got a yard, it's a bright and yard. It's not a garden. It's like the tiniest patch of grass. It's not even, like, all ends up... I just outed you as having Astroa.

Okay, so, so originally... She looked really embarrassed. Okay, I am embarrassed, but you can talk about how's tiny my garden is. Yeah, it's tiny. You can hoover it. Yeah, I bet you have to as well, don't you? No, we don't hoover it. Anyway, when our boys were really small, it was like,

There's no way, because I've twins, there's no way we're going to be able to mow that, you know what I mean? Like they're going to pay. It's a yard. It's a tiny yard. It's like you couldn't mow it. Do you know what I mean?

Because you'd better get a mow, a lawn, thing out there. Yeah, yeah. So originally, um, I wanted to put turf down there and then Chloe was like, well, then you have to take care of it and you have to look after it. And I was like, yeah, I can do that. Anyway, yeah, it turns out I can't. So, um, we, we turned, so we astroed it.

And I, I still, I do feel guilty about that, but I'm not sure what to do about it. Do I pull up the AstroTurf and, but then what? Then it's just mud under there. Yeah, but then you could put in like some little planting areas. What Coim is done with the front? Does it get sunny? Um, well, it's, uh, is it east facing.

I think it's east facing garden. What does that mean? Try time lawn. It gets morning sun if it's east facing. But what she's done with the front is beautiful. You can just do that with the back. No one's judging you, Jane. No, we're not judging you too.

I feel like Kate's looking at me with an extreme amount of judgment and... We should move on to the next picture. I'm not, I'm not. Talk about Joe. Talk about Joe. So that's my other best friend Joe and this was on her wedding day and I love her very much. I love her suit. Her suit is incredible.

She looks amazing. Beautiful velvet suit and an orange dicky bow. Tell us about this wedding day. So it was in November just gone and it was beautiful. She's married this wonderful American called Elizabeth. And I was a little. really lovely I'm just I just really love going to my friend's weddings and I love friends weddings it's just nice isn't it do you I don't like another dig to you can you get

could you have a wedding sorry I appears that's two dicks on the belt I am so where did your friend get married Bristol so they live in Bristol and I'm seeing them this weekend actually which is very nice I did it a big wedding I do like Bristol I do it was a it was a proper DIY wedding so um I think after the wedding they was it before, no, it was before the wedding they were up until sort of midnight the night before just getting the village hall ready. They'd sort of hide out this village hall

and it was all and like their granddad had got loads of vegetables, just random vegetables that had grown, random prize vegetables and made little decorations around the village hall with his prized vegetables. So we all got pissed, didn't we? And we're just dancing with massive onions.

Why wouldn't you? Of course you were. I remember your, you had a, what was it? You had a massive marrow. Was it a marrow? Corset. You did something big one. You did something big.

I had a huge photo. Yes, it's a photo of me with my massive marrow. Would you have it at your wedding now? I would now. I wouldn't when I got married. I wasn't as into gardening then. But now I'd happily have marrows all over my wedding.

I just think the Grandad just really wanted to display his price. It's just really bizarre, isn't it? That's a real alternative to flowers. It's just like to add my vegetable arrangements all over my wedding. Do you know what? I actually appreciate that in a wedding now. I don't want, like, you know when you go to a real trad wedding? It's too chinty.

You just think, guys, we've all moved on we've done from this. Yeah, we're not doing this. They had drag ads as well, which was really fun. It was a really raucous wedding. It was great. I think if you're going to have a wedding, go bigger, go home. That's how I imagine a Bristol gay wedding. I want it to be raucous.

I want a velvet green suit. I want Marrows. Yeah. And drag. And big onions. Big onions. Big onions. Big onions.

And massive onions, please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. It was good for fun. And how do you know her? we met in Manchester actually

so when I was living in Manchester and I had my first allotment and everybody was laughing at me she was one of the few people who didn't She's a keeper Why did you move to Manchester Kate? Just out of curiosity Because my friends lived there

Okay so I was at uni in Brighton And then I went travelling on my own for a year And when I got home Andy who I've spoken about And then my other friend Humee were just living in Manchester So I thought oh fuck out I was going to live in Manchester And then we're having a good time

And then went a good time. So you were like, I'm going to go and do that. Manchester's a great bloody season. Where about Stampton? Got a job in a call centre. Didn't we? And then, yeah, and then did a post-grad in journalism. Where did I live?

So I lived in Rush Home. Oh, my best friend lived in Rush Home for her degree in Manchester, so I knew it well. I remember the first time I went to Rush Home, I was like, okay, we're not in Kansas anymore, are we? Because there was a man, a Sikh guy standing in the street, swinging a belt, buckle out. and it was wild There was a wildest And then we went to the offie And it was the first time

I lived in Peckham at the time It was the first time I'd ever seen an off licence With those bulletproof windows Around the booth And I was like What the fuck is going on? It's very, my next door neighbours

Got arrested And then about a week later Or maybe less than a week later I heard a commotion outside And they'd obviously told the police Some intel about something and so this sort of gang of lads sort of just emptied out of this car with baseball bats and just completely just did in the windows of my next door neighbor's saying oh my god

that scars is in the room just singing ooh yeah but um i don't i think i only lived there for about six months it was spicy well it's rush home it's where all the indian restaurants like that's i mean they're good they're brilliant that i mean that i didn't get a good but that road in rush home what's it called in manchester where all the curry houses are it's so good um it's so good it's like just back to back great. But it was a bit rough and I remember I've probably told this story before on the pod so if I have to take it out but Rosie tells this story that she came home one day and her house was being robbed and the burglar was just caught like mid carrying the telling she's like what the fuck are you doing and he's like all right all right and left and it's just

always become a bit of a catchphrase between us if you get caught doing anything she's all right all right just very devastating man scullies I'm just looking your telly okay i'm just thinking the jelly it was really aggressive let's go to your last picture kate all right the dog is toska uh she was a lockdown doggy um she had a very very very difficult start in life she was sort of rescued in a unconventional way um a woman responded to an advert for collies um in the in the sort of paper i think and then sort of turned up and realized it was a really dodgy puppy farm oh and there was one doggy left that was just this emaciated little thing was trying to suckle from its mom and the mom

kept kicking it away. Oh God. And so she decided she had to just buy the dog because she didn't want to leave it there. Yeah. She bought the dog and then called the RISPC. Yeah, I was going to say they needed to be reported. And and then for one reason, I think, oh, I know what happened because she was so poorly. So she was basically covered in urine burns. She had a, oh my goodness. She had Jardia, which I've had, it's like a horrible parasitic. Yeah, but you normally get that from like India or somewhere when you go to Asia. It's quite common in dogs actually

and she had an urinary infection and she had all of these problems and so what she had to do or she had fleas and mites. Oh God. So she had to be isolated and so this woman who sort of rescued her kept her in the bathroom for three weeks

and slept with her in the bathroom. They made a little dent together and went together but when it was time when it was time for her to be released when it was time for her to let her out. One of her other dogs got jealous and tried to eat her. Oh no. So she had to re-home her.

Well, she did sleep with that dog. I mean, what do you expect? Who's your new favourite? Oh, show you. It's your favourite. But she's absolute darling. So when we got her, so we picked her up, she was 16 weeks old. But she's so clever.

You can almost have a conversation with her. I was going to say, you look in her eyes, and she's cleverer than a lot of humans that I can think of. Yeah. For a while she was cleverer than my nephews. Yes. She's still got her blue eyes, her baby blue eyes there. Lovely coat as well.

That line down her face is beautiful. Did you have a dog growing up? No. She's your first dog. Yeah. So it's quite a lot to take on. I remember the first night we got her, so that night, she got into bed with us and started like spooning me.

And I was like, this is so weird. This is the best day of my life. Also, why are you in my bed? My friend's dogs like that. got a whip it and they spoon she spoons with the whip it. I don't think I want that. No, I mean, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I think, you know.

Fair enough. Mostly I don't. I don't. I imagine me spooning Molly? Oh, fuck off. Molly's not that kind. It's got to be a bit of a skinny dog. No, she wouldn't let me.

She would be living to do with me. Yeah. Don't touch me. Yeah. It's a very different relationship. In many ways, you're very similar. We are. We mirror each other.

Thank you for all your pictures. Yes, all right. Have we done all of your pictures? Yeah, I think we have, thank you so much for coming down as well. Thanks for having me. Loves pleasure. And I'm going to read your book. Oh, you will enjoy it.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful writing. I actually really, especially now more than ever, maybe it's middle age as well, but I really need a book like that, a bit of escape. Look, I'll tell you what Chris Packham said. He said, the greatest existential crisis we face distilled into the crucible. of a tiny piece of paradise. Oh my God.

That's a lovely quote, isn't it? I'm so on board. Good old Chris. Yeah. It's a good egg. A cure for eco anxiety. These are things people need. It is needed.

Yeah. This is really essential. Yeah, exactly. And I think now, like you said, more than ever. So go out and get yourself. One golden against the world. Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm Max Rushden. I'm David O'Darney. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast. What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it.

Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really down playing it. Like, what did you do yesterday?

Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.