Memory Lane with Kerry Godliman and Jen Brister - S04 E31: Rob Rouse

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

"You could open a bin bag and start crying... It's terrifying... You've learnt what your achilles heel are but they drag you back..."The absolutely brilliant comedian and friend @robrousecomedian joins us on the pod this week!He is a man of many skills and a master of comedy and fun.We chatted about... nostalgia, freedom, fancy dress and chemical toilets... to name a few.PLUS... @kerryagodliman and @jenbristercomedy chat about co-ords, abbreviations and being told to pipe down.Rob is on tour next year - Get a ticket before they are gone - https://robrouse.com/JEN & KERRY STAND-UP TOURSKerry's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/kerry-godliman-tickets/artist/1866728Jen's 2025 tour is on sale now - https://www.jenbrister.co.uk/tour/PHOTOSPHOTO 1: BabyPHOTO 2: ColicPHOTO 3: SiblingsPHOTO 4: Cycling daysPHOTO 5: Burning stuffPHOTO 6: Fancy dressPHOTO 7: Tess & ClaudiaPICS & MORE - https://www.instagram.com/memory_lane_podcast/A Dot Dot Dot Production produced by Joel PorterHosted by Jen Brister & Kerry Godliman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's got to be consequences. Mayor of Kingstown, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus. Hello, and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen Bristair, and I'm Kerry Godleman. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guest as they bring in four photos from their lives to talk. about. To check out the photos we'd be having a natter with them about, they're on the episode image and you can also see them a little bit more clearly on our Instagram page. So have a little

look at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can all be nosy together. You just said that woman's trousers are pyjamas. No, I just was confused. Sometimes you can't tell if people are wearing their pyjamas. And I said to you, I used to have a really nice pair of trousers, but everyone thought they were pajamas and then I had to stop wearing them and you were like, sure, that's, you have to. You have to, once people go, are those pyjamas? You've got to start wearing them. Or you push through and go, who cares? There's that, isn't there?

There's the other side of worrying about what people think and then going, I don't give a fuck what people think. I'm going to wear my pyjamas. Because then I said to you, what's the difference between a pyjama and a co-wad? And I said, what the fuck is a co-award? And then we talked about what a co-ord is. It's a coordinated outfit and looks like a suit but isn't. Arguably, pyjamas.

Arguably, pajamas, which means I've bought, I've got two cohorts. Have you? What are they? I've got a black linen one and then I've got a sort of kind of denim. Denim co-ord? Yeah, well it's, I mean, it's double denim. It's double denim, yeah. I haven't seen you wear either of these things. You have seen me wear both of these things.

I've worn both of them while we've recorded. You have. Well, as a co-word, because you said you, the great thing about a co-ord is you can wear it as a top with some other things or bottoms with another top. But you've worn them together as a cohort with me. Yes. I've worn the black linen. normally notice what you wear? I've worn black linen trousers with the black shirt, okay.

I don't think I did it up, so I had a vest underneath. And the denim co-word I wore with these jeans, and it was a denim shirt, short sleeve, and I corded, I called, co-orded, I've been co-ord in a long time. You're struggling with that phrase. I am actually, because I said it again. Co-ordin. No, you're really struggling. What are you saying?

Co-word. All right, okay. That's why you abbreviate it. That's the joy of abrieving. You can abrieve abbreviate. You can abrieve what you fucking like. Do you know what? You can do whatever the fuck you like.

I went through a phase in my late teens, early 20s where I abe everything. Like an Australian. Oh, of course that's what they do. Fucking how they abe everything. Oh, well, I must be a bit Australian. They would abe, they would abe. Oh, they'd go ebb. Ebb.

Are you ebbing? That's too much. Yeah, abreeve. Because there's no misunderstanding about what I mean by abbreviate. No, I understand that you mean abbreviate. Yes. But I remember being around my friend's house, and it was at the peak of my abbreviating phase. What were you abbreviating?

Everything. Like an Australian, probably. And I remember her mum saying, you need to stop that now. Okay. In a real mum way. I thought I was being funny, and she was like, you need to stop it. You know when a mum would shut something down? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This mum had a lot of feedback for me generally. She used to say to her, my friend, her daughter. Yeah. You tell your friend Kerry. Oh, my God. She's too loud. Oh, right. I mean, I get that feedback and have all my life.

Too loud. You're loud to the point of being foreign. Oh, really? Or a bit deaf, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Because sometimes people are a bit deaf and they're loud. Yeah, maybe. They shout and they don't know that they're shouting.

Were you bit deaf when you were in your teens? No, it was quite hung over a lot of the time. Well, how old are we talking here? Like late teens, early 20s. Oh, fine. Okay. So everything's a bit like, just got to be a bit,

just be a bit louder. Yeah. And I would be quite loud. Well, I mean, I don't think, I mean, as you know, I've, you're quite loud. I'm very loud. And I have been told them very loud,

by literally everybody. Apart from you, actually. Well, that's because we're both shouting. Yeah, we're always shouting. But Chloe often, when we're out, if I, she does, she just, the hand, the hand comes out.

Or sometimes when we're chatting in the kitchen, Ben, I'll go, Kel, I'm only here, babe. And I'm like, am I shouting? He'll go, yeah, you're shouting. Yeah. Yeah. I think Chloe once said to me inside voice and I went, never say that to me again. I love it when partners say something. They think they're being funny.

She thought it's being funny. And I was like, you never ever say that to me again. But did she think she was being a little bit funny? Yeah, she thought she's being hilarious. She is being funny. But I was like, you don't ever say that to me again. Has she? No.

I wish she would because it's hilarious Inside voice It's really funny I say it to you I can't because it's kettle pot If you sit inside voice I can't

I really want Chloe to say to you regularly Inside voice please Yeah she does Inside voice I'm like Yeah That's great I mean I don't mind someone going Can you turn it down

But inside voice No Yeah but if you're doing it consciously Ironically That's hilarious It's teachery It's a teacher vibe Yeah

It's like the mum The friend mum going, you need to stop doing... There's a tonal thing that happens. It's like being told off. Yeah. I tell you what it is. I love people telling people off.

It's funny. Yeah, but do you like being told off? No, I don't, but I find things funny that are like uncomfortable. You don't like being told off either. I hate being told off and I hate being instructed. Look at what I'm doing with my finger. I hate being instructed, Kerry. And don't you ever fucking instruct me?

So, give me some examples of people instructing you. God, I mean, I don't know how I did my driving test. Oh, right, yeah. Take left. You take a fucking left. You fucking tell me where to go. My sat an have had to be a woman. I couldn't have a man.

Oh, you wouldn't be mansplained by a satan. And now turn right. Fuck you. I can so relate to that. I just find anything where anyone is going, you want to do it like this. I'm like, well, I'm going to fucking do it the opposite way. Yeah, no, no, I totally, I'm, I'm bored with that. So when Chloe went inside voice, I was like, I'm not going to.

Fuck, inside voice. Oh, I'm going to say inside voice, Jesus, to get that reaction. I know what? I really wish I hadn't told you that because now inside voice is going to happen a lot. Yeah, I'm definitely going to run with that. And then you'll be like, it's ironic as you receive a fist to the jungle life. It's quite funny. I'll wear full armour and go, inside voice.

Throat punch, boom. I find there's gradients of female rage. Yeah. But childbirth. Childbirth is next level. Oh, childbirth. Yeah. I'm glad I never had to go through it because I think I would have taken someone out.

But how was Chloe? Was she angry? No, she was on a lot of drugs. So it was, it was, she was on the best drugs of her life. She was very calm. She was giggling. And, you know, as, you know, basically I could see inside her. Yeah, I suppose there's Zazarian and it's a different sort of situation.

Oh, it's very different, very different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no contractions. Do you remember when it came out that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, she wasn't allowed to make sounds in childbirth? What? Yeah. No.

Yeah. Get out. I know. It was a thing. And he was like, it's a Scientology thing. I don't want there to be stress or trauma for the kid. And the woman... Fuck!

Yeah. And it was all in the papers that. Katie Holmes had silently. No. It's not possible. Silently given birth. I would have silently channeled it in a vocal way, indirectly into his face.

Yeah, yeah. Honestly. You're appalled, aren't you? Look it up. I'm angry. Yeah. I'm angry. So angry.

How controlling. Yeah, yeah. And fuck you. Listen, I tell you what. I bet he's made noises when he's had a difficult shit. I bet he's had a shit where it's really hurt. And he's gone, you got to push it like vocally moo it out

moo it out I'd have fucking moot it out I'd have moot it out right in his face men tell him women what's doing they're giving birth do one oh well they didn't used to be allowed in did they no and in that instance get out no quite don't be coming in here with notes fucking

who are we talking to today oh today I'm a over the moon, my lovely friend, Rob Rouse. What a joy. This was really fun. His baby picture really cracked you up. Oh my God, that was so fun. If we had to have our favourite baby pictures, I think Rob's is out there.

By far my favourite baby picture of any baby picture I've ever seen. It was like a 55-year-old dance player. It's the absence of vanity in Rob that I find so unbelievable. I couldn't believe. I couldn't believe that that baby turned into Rob. I know. I mean even when you see the pictures of Rob as he gets older as a child and then as a teenager you're like oh he's so cute

but that I know and he had to make sure he bought it he had to bring it so yeah he's he's brilliant he's been supporting me on tour and he's doing his own tour next spring and he's such a joyful comic and if you haven't seen Rob Rouse both of us can highly recommend this comedy genius he is he is genuinely oh Mr Rob Rouse I love it. These are great.

That first picture might be my favourite picture of all time on this. That's cold from a dozen. Rob, I thought Carl Donnelly's photograph of him with that suit was possibly the funniest photograph I've ever seen. But this one is an absolute fucking cracker. It's an absolute, it's a devastating. thing to look at, isn't it?

I mean, you always want to be with a baby and go, you know, you always want to find something in a baby, don't you? You go, but yes. Yes, yes, the baby, but you know, that was just that photo. It's very, it's really cute. It's just awful.

I mean, it's, look, I'm just going to say it. You look like John Candy taking a shit. We're rolling. We're rolling already, aren't we? We're rolling. We're rolling. Yeah, this is, it's just called. the soft start in the podcast game, isn't it?

I think so, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're already rolling. We've already gone straight to the photo, Rob, we don't normally do this. We normally do a little bit of interim chat. We do a little bit of, hi, how are you, tell me, blah, da, did I've just gone straight into John Candy having a shit. And how old are you? I would say, some age there between, I'd say about four months and about 57. It's really hard to tell, isn't it?

With some of these baby pictures. Wow. That is the worst baby picture I've ever seen. Thank you, Jenny. What's going on? Where are you? What's the context of this awful photograph? Well, I mean, obviously.

Because you're a good looking guy. Well, that's very kind. But as a baby, I would always, I'm aware that hopefully this is proved to anyone listening and looking at the Instagram feed that from an ugly duckling, from a very, very ugly duckling can come an average goose. So that, I mean, obviously. See, this is in the time when we didn't shoot pictures from above. We weren't social media. We didn't know about that. I mean, it's not even in focus, Rob.

I'm not even sure. It's a shit photo for many reasons. Not just your face, not just the jowls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just the quality, you cut off your head off. Yeah. What angle would have made that a better photo? Well, I think, I mean, I think I'm also kind of folded into a parent's lap.

Right. You have been folded. But I'm also, I'm acutely aware that none of. I thought you were going to say you're cute because. You're not. No, I was, let's just say it, ladies, I was a very, very ugly baby. Is that true, though? Is that just a flattering picture?

No, there's another dozen I could show you like a horrible flickbook. No. I sent a lot to Joel and he, some of them were rejected by his firewall. I never knew this about you, that you were an ugly baby. There's one of me on the sofa. Have you got it, Joel, where I look like I've got permanent colic. I've got purple cheeks. I need to see that picture

I have to have another photograph of you as a baby I can't just be given this one there needs to be I need to create context I mean it's a horror I look like almost like a baby version of Boris Johnson yes I was going to say there's a lot of Boris Johnson and a lot of babies do look like old people

that is that's true not necessarily such ugly old people yeah I look like I drank a lot of port at that point in my life as well you look like you got gout I love it you've offered it as a this is me as a cute kid

is it Rob how much hair have you got you've got a much hair as Boris Johnson has more more I think someone that was farmed for him further down the line Oh no there is another one There's another baby one

Now this one See I would argue that is cute Okay do you think Yeah I can accept that as cute Wow I think that's quite cute You've just purposely said that other one because I think you might be saying that out of

No, I'm not saying it out of guilt. I don't know. You've got to zoom in. Guil free zone. Yeah, zoom in, Zoom in, Jam. What do you find? I find a baby. A chunky baby.

A chunky baby. A chunky baby. But you know what? I have never seen thick hair like that. I'm a baby. It's insane. And the cheeks are pretty, um, bloody. Like, it looks like you have had a bottle of port.

Yeah. And I can't get over the hair. neither of my boys had much hair but yeah my son was born quite a bit like Jack Nicholson hair yeah so it was a wispy on the top quite long at the back but absolutely nothing on the top of their head

but this is this is quite the real batch as well before any family pictures were taken I had to have a full facial and body shave did your mum and dad did your mum like because there is a thing about I remember when I went back to the NCT, you know, after you've had the kid, and then you all wheel

the babies out, and there was one that was, it was difficult to know what to do with your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those, oh, ooh, yeah. You're one that knocks the wind out of you. I mean, your mum, I mean, your mum, how did she approach feedback? Well, fortunately, my mum has got very, very poor eyesight. Right.

She hasn't, no, she, I think, she doesn't, no, she, I think she's just put on a brave face and muscled through it. I mean. I was a very, very. very, very pudgy old man looking baby. I think I was left outside quite a lot. Right, yeah.

That was the times though. They never collected on Binday. But that was the times. Leaving babies outside. It was weird where you would see a baby and a pram outside a shop and you'd be like, surely this can't be a good idea. It can't be legal.

Well, back then they just thought, oh, mum's probably in there buying fags. Yeah, yeah, simple as that, yeah. Or a baby outside of a leisure centre. They're probably inside playing squash. They'll be out any time. within the next two hours of the bag of crisps and some dandelion and burdock he'll be fine

we used to get locked in the car like when parents wouldn't have different yeah yeah exactly was a different time come back with a packet of crisps so where is this when is this I think that's sometime in the 1600s this really does look like it

I mean you in this picture if we took away the brown sofa which is clearly from the 70s you could be a baby from like the air I think that might be at my granny's house in Sheffield and I'm sat on her sofa there. That would explain why I'm wearing tights and a belt. A jumper and a bib.

That kind of stuff. I feel like the great thing about the 70s was there was a lot of elastic waists. Elasticated waste. Women were wearing elastic waist. There was a lot of denim with elastic. Also, elastic. What about that game that girls would play?

you'd get a string of elastic and then two of them would stand Oh my God Yes so two would stand with them around their legs Legs You were in the playground games And then two girls would stand with the elastic Around their legs and then far apart

So there'd be two sort of area And then one girl would hop scotch around it Around the twas And then they'd do some crazy shit It was like skipping And then they'd like Cats cradle the elastic I completely forgot about the elastic

around our ankle Oh, my God, that was so fun. Yes. I don't know if it made it up north. It might have been too expensive. I don't know. Back then, because we had, in the 70s, 80s, we had the big elastic crisis, didn't we? Or you couldn't get elastic.

Tell us more. Any of the haberdashery shops. Yeah. That was a... Sheffield really struggled through that time. Elastic drought, yeah. The elastic famine. It caught to the very bone of the city.

I must say thank you, A, for having me on this wonderful podcast. It's a dream to be here. and what an experience going through old pictures is. Yeah, well, you're one of the small community of people that just couldn't pick four or five. You just sent us millions. I've rounded it down to the nearest 20. But it's, but what a mad experience of kind of emotional, joyous and an absolute existential crisis? No, nostalgia is dangerous.

It's really odd, isn't it? You can't. You can't stay there too long. Although I think so as well. Wow. And especially, do you find, like, since you turned 50, that you approach all nostalgia a bit more? Cautiously. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like you're feeding a dog at arm's length. It's terrifying, isn't it? Yes. Like, going in an attic is dangerous. But what is that? Yeah, like, reading old journals. It's like, I could lose a week.

Yeah, you could open a bin bag, just start crying. It's terrifying, isn't it? It's wild. Because you spend a lot of your life, maybe at this point in life, you've sort of learned what your Achilles heels are. Yeah. And you worked out what the work. You know yourself. Yeah, the work you've got to do on a daily basis to keep on top of things. Yeah. And then you're trying to live your life as much as you can in the moment.

Yeah. And then nostalgia, you're going back through old pictures. It yanks you back. Yeah, it drags you back. Also, you look at yourself. I don't know if you do this, but I look at pictures of myself, particularly as a teenager. And I'm like, I feel so sorry for you. Yeah.

You didn't have a clue. No, no idea. And no one told you. Yeah. My kids are both teenagers now. school and sometimes, bless him, they both go to, you know, nice, comprehensive schools, but sometimes when they

come back, you go, it's fucking mental in school. You forget like the soup of humanity and madness and the hormones. Aggression, hormones, violence. I mean, I got bullied quite relentlessly at school and I ended up having to challenge this

girl to go, right, well, let's, you're obviously going to kick the shit out of me, let's just do this. Yeah, same. And, um, but I think with boys, it felt like, because my brothers would come back with like a black eye or something I feel like there was a violence with boys that with girls the bullying was sort of different. There was nastiness though

girls could make your life hell but there wasn't that threat of physical violence that I think hung over a lot of teenage boys at school even now it's just wild and my boys I think I worry about them I got beat up a few times when I was at secondary school I remember got beaten up by a lad who he shared lifts giving lifts to school in the morning

he clumped me on the bus on the way home. He'd thrown this boy used to get bullied mercilessly on the bus. I remember this lad he threw a full thing of yogget

and it hit him on the back of the head and it kind of coated around his face and I kind of told him it was out of order and then he twatted me and then he had to turn up the next day to get his left to school.

It was just weird but it all happened and it was over But it's weird Yes And trying to wrap your emotions And responses The problem with having too many pictures

Rob Rouse Is that it's just scattergun Which is you All over This is your whole nature This is like watching your shows Right Okay

It's just like A powerhouse of energy And comedy It's like Right Let's get this in order This episode is brought to you by Peloton.

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sponsored by ballot Conditions apply See AirCanada.com. Right, okay. Well, let's go to baby. We've done baby. Baby. I'm born in the countryside.

Born in the countryside. Seventies. Looks like I lived in a puddle of mud. But a very rural, bucolic. Rural place outside climbing trees, playing in the stream. Siblings? Really? Siblings, one elder sister, two years older than me.

Did you get on? We do. Yeah, we do. Great. Yeah, we do now, yeah. And this kid on a bike? Is this, how old are you there? Hey, so watch out, ladies.

that's me when I was 15, I'd say. So a bit of a catch there. Lock up your daughters. And so yeah, so obviously, yeah, I had a pretty wild side to me there. So that's... You look like you're about 11. Well, that's thank you. That's my first ever new bike.

So we used to get our bikes from a fellow called Mr. Farish who used to refur random bikes and then get them from him. But that was the first time. I think maybe I'd saved up pocket. pocket money, been washing cars. Got a rally. Got a perjo racing bike there and a blues on jacket. Twin that with a pair of spy jeans and some puma trainers.

You, this is quite a look. Yeah, it's pretty much... Did you feel super cool? It felt incredible on that bike. That's a great bike. Yeah, and I was, you know, I was a rebellious teenager, so at 15, I'd be out on that, I don't know, until 830, 9, 30 at night sometimes. You know in summer

Yeah You can't rope the wind And then Or if I had a new dynamo I could be out till 945 This does feed the you I know now Because you do

You do like cars and bikes Well I do You're a petrol head as well Well I'm not a petrol head I've had a series of very cheap Random cars But they're not random They're not just any old cars

Are there They're nice cars Nice bikes Most bikes Well, I've got a nice bike now but car-wise I've never spent more than five grand on a car in my entire professional career

because we leave them everywhere, don't we? Yeah. So I drive a cheap car till it goes bang and then get another one. They're always interesting your cars. They're not just... I'll give you that, they've been interesting. What do you mean? What do you mean interesting? Well, like, not vintage so much

but like... Ford Capri, what we're talking about? This feels like a much more accessible version of Top Gear now. This is only the show that Top Gear could be. But this podcast ends up where it ends up. It's just it made me feel like seeing you on that bike and you telling the stories of the thrill that that 15-year-old lad.

And I still see you like that kid on your bike. Well, it's freedom, isn't it a bike? Yeah. And for me, grew up in a village, that meant I could get into Macclesfield or Congleton, which were only six miles away in either direction. Right. But on foot, that's really far. Impossible, yeah.

It was like one bus a day, I think there was. And did all your mates have bikes? Yeah, so we just, and you'd just go and call for each other around the village, knock on. That sounds great. It was great. It was brilliant, yeah. A friend told me the other day that the trick when you're young and we didn't have the phones and you want to find where your mates are when they're out. And you don't know where they are.

He said, I knew where they were because that's where all the bikes were. So if all the bikes were outside, pile of bikes outside a house, oh, they're in there. Yeah. And you go find them. We're having a fire at the stream. Oh, street fires. Yeah. Oh, that was a.

Oh, lovely. little street fire. He used to burn stuff all the time. That was the whole weekend we'd burn things. Yes. That kind of pyromaniac phase. My brother went through it. Get a lighter and a bit of aerosol. My brothers were obsessed with magnifying glasses. Like, there was sun

and then trying to start a fire with a magnifying glass. And if they did, oh my God. We had a local lad, Danny Nasko used to pour petrol fluid on his hand and light it. Sure. That's a big thing at school. Pre-in-net. You had to make your own fun. Exactly. Yeah, he's a boundary pusher, isn't he? I was chatting to my good friend Tom Riggles with. And

Oh, yeah, Tom's up there now, isn't me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great. We do a podcast together called The Unlightly Weight Lifters, where we meet up once a week. Which is a very funny podcast. Well, we're both, we do weightlifting, and then we, the podcast is what we talk about in the rest period. So there's often severe oxygen depletion going on in our hands.

We either do it in my garage. Yeah. Or Tom's rack, which he built on a one-in-one hill, Jeffield. Because in the lockdown, everything got really expensive. Yeah, yeah. So we built weight. out of concrete, bags of postcrete in building buckets.

What do you mean you built? So we couldn't buy like a 25 kilo weight would be like 100 quid in lockdown. So we built our own because we decided we wanted to get fit to sort our backs out or at least we have glass backs. And I had to build an annex for my mother-in-law, Jean, who now lives in the garden, in the annex,

not free range. Although she's free to roam as of when she sees fit and express her natural behaviours. But we want, so I would have this. building project coming on. So I wanted to start my back out. Tom had just had toddlers and every time he got out of bed

because when he started, before we started, he was literally like an extra from Tenco. He was really, really thin. He'd put his back out blowing his nose. That's such a specific description. Also, Tenco is,

wasn't that a women's camp? Yeah. It might well have been. Prison of War Camp in Japan. Some of these some of these references will need Googling. Yeah. But you have to be Gen X.

I don't know what. What a great show that was. So we did this thing and we couldn't get weight. So we poured concrete postcrete into these big buckets which we'd lined with olive oil and put a little bit of two inch

plumbing pipe in the middle and then pop them out. You're sticking one on a way and scale. You're such a why don't you generation man who are like, make it! I'll make what are you doing today Rob? I'm making weight. Well that's my mum then, isn't it?

That's all the fancy dress that she used to build all a fancy dress costume. She's a maker, she's amazed. Sent some to Joel. Don't know how many pass a firewall. I remember we went to one fancy dress at primary school. I went as E.T. Oh.

With an E.T. Yeah. Yeah. Stuffed out on a stick, sheet, little feet coming out of the bottom, made out of cardboard. My sister went as boy George, who at the time was massive. Yeah. That's a commitment to them here. I'd say at least 50% of the other kids at primary school actually believe boy George was at the disco.

She had to keep saying to people I'm not actually boy George I'm not boy George I'm not boy George is 4 foot 4 Yeah it's amazing Right I want to go back Go on So we were talking about you as a child

On that bike Yeah but also just I want to know a little bit more about Rob Because I know you said you didn't have a great time at school You found it a bit tricky But who were you as it Because you're a very bombastic Funny

your, as we've said, as Kerry has said, quite chaotic, anarchic presence on stage. So who were you growing up? Well, I mean, probably, I mean, I probably was a version of that. But in my head, I could, what my memory of childhood is more kind of, kind of just trying to almost kind of get, get through it without being seen, if that made sense. Consciously you felt like that.

You think so, in hindsight. Because I remember when I first, uh, I can remember being at school and I had to come in early one morning, primary school this was, because I'd been a bit naughty the day before and I had to come tied up the classroom. I remember we were doing like a play in front of the school in the morning and it was something to do with Ramesses. Right.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Ramesses, get down on your knees or something like that. I can't know what it was. And we all had to wear like sugar, we should make costumes out of sugar paper. We had to wear kind of like, Egyptian hair and robes that we'd made out of sugar paper. And I remember feeling intensely uncomfortable about it.

Coupled with the fact that I had to come in early because I'd been bollocked the day before. Yeah. And while I was tidying up the classroom, I accidentally put my foot in an ice cream tub, which had pens in it. And fell over. I was quite a clumsy child. Fell over and cracked my head open on the corner of one of those half octagonal tables we had in primary school. Yes. And I had to go to hospital have stitches.

Oh, Rob. But I remember as my mum was driving me to hospital, thinking, yes, didn't have to do the play. That's so unusual. Which is a really weird feeling, yeah, looking back at it now. When you think about how comfortable you are on stage now. Yeah, I love it. And it's almost like, it's my, like after a gig, I don't, especially, you know, you've had a really nice show. I don't come off.

I'm not pumped up. I'm not kind of like bouncing off the walls. Just feel steady. I feel really calm. I can really. and connected to the world life. And it might even, it might be an illusion or you've told, you know, it might not be real, I don't know, but I just feel afterwards I could sit there

and talk to anyone and I feel calm. I don't feel any, because I feel I've really communicated. Yes. And by the audience's response, they've communicated back and we've all understood each other however long we've been together. It's something reassuring about it. It feels like it's reset everything. Take us to a picture.

Let's go to the next picture then, come on. Is that the one of a fire? Yes. Is that what it is? A fire? It looks like some sort of weird Lord of the Flies. Yeah, it's a horrible little bonfire going on in the back of our student house in Sheffield there. What are you burning?

That's me and my mate, Steve. That's me and Steve burning our finals revision notes. straight after the last exam. This is great because it's so you. It's not just like, we should do that. You did do that. You thought of it and you did it. Yeah, because I'm holding a can of swan lighter fluid there.

Look at the joy. The joy, yeah. We're dancing round our burning notes. Yeah, because you were so happy that that chapter was done. That geography degree was finished. I can't imagine you doing a geography degree. I can't imagine a degree less suited to you. I can't imagine it.

Because I mean, you're quite, like, everything that you do is like practical or sort of creative. And geographies just, doesn't. Well, it's, I mean, physical geographies essentially, how's that hill going to slip into the sea eventually? And when you think about everything from that and it factor in weather and everything, you're sorted. It's quite a practical thing. Yes. And then the human geography, I revised, but the physical bit was quite. Came naturally to you.

I mean, the more I'm talking out loud, the more I realize I'm saving myself a great. and a half on a diagnosis for the popular disorder. Now, aren't I? Which I'm sure I've probably got, but I'm... Back to the phone now. Yeah, so we burnt then. It's the commitment to ritual and... Yeah, to fire.

And to fire. And to pleasure. Yes. It's like... And to an anarchic thing to do, isn't it? That is the burning of our geography notes from our final exam. And then the following year, I trained to be a geography teacher. Oh, no.

Did you teach? Oh my God, Rob, why can I know this about you? Trade as a teacher. Yeah. No, I did know this. And then you realised you'd made a terrible mistake. Yeah, it was part way through that geography teacher training. I did a one-off gig in the Fox and Duck pub.

Stand up. Yeah. Right. With some mates from the old theatre group. So it's worth pointing out, Ben was at uni with Rob. Ben was at Sheffield University. I didn't know. You're older, yeah.

Yes, there's a lot of connections with us. Like some of chemical toilet might come to that. But that's why the anecdote about reconnecting because the backstory is that Rob and Ben were at Sheffield University together. Right. So when did you reconnect with Ben then after that? So we're going to jump in jumping, we're jumping, sorry. He would have been involved in those plays, wouldn't we?

Because he was part of that theatre society at Sheffield Uni. First one I saw was Ben and Billy Lyre and it was amazing. I remember thinking this is brilliant. Yeah. and but through some friends from that I got roped into doing a stand-up gig like a charity thing in a pub and we all

wrote something like all in about in a week and what was your relationship to stand up prior to that did you know what it was? I'd loved watching comedy as a kid so living in the village I was in Blackadder, Fryen Lorry Vic and Bob was the big one though for me

I remember sitting there Vic and Bob is just you I remember sitting there watching tell And I remember the trailer And Vic in a white suit saying Watch me, Vic leaves Friday night, big night out And I went, I'm there I'm just in

That's been made for me Yeah, it was incredible And then latterly shooting stars Me and a friend of mine Debs from Sheffield when I lived with her for a while And she just lost a sister I remember she was grieving at this point I moved in that I didn't know her

And we'd sit around in the morning I was unemployed and we'd drink and tonic and watch shooting stars and I taught her out to light her own farts that's what we would do that is just sounds like a great way to deal with deep grief

yeah yeah burn it to the ground burn it burn it burn it I feel like the link is arson it could well be it could well be You know what's better than the one big thing?

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available in Chipotle or Ranch. Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. What we got next? Is it me with a chemical toilet? It's got to be the chemical toilet. You got two here. Where are? Is this a caravan?

I mean. So, how do you remember that story, Kerry? I just remember. Let's just paint a visual picture actually for your lovely audience. I've never laughed so much. Oh my. God, I can see an actual turn. Yeah, there's shit in that picture.

Well, congratulations. You're the first person that has offered human feces. Thank you. Absolute pleasure. Can you describe what you can see, Jen? Who's in the picture and what items you can witness? I'm going to say what I can see. Well, in the first picture...

For the purposes of the court, Jenny. It's Kerry with a black bin bag on her hand. Trying to open a chemical toilet and there's... I can see a toilet paper with shit on it. We don't know whose poo it is. Why are I cleaning your caravan toilet? It's because it's one of my children's. Tards.

I think the responsibility fell on me. I think you said the rule is when we're in the caravan, we can have ways, but not number two's. Frank didn't fully get the rule book, and he went for a number two. How old was Frank at the time? Little. There's so many mitigated circumstances to create this funny picture.

But why did I end up cleaning? You said it's your kids. I think it was, it was, it was, um, you, you demanded to clean it. It just doesn't sound like me. She did demand it to clean it. It doesn't sound like me. And why did the camera come out? Well, there's so much about the, uh, about the picture to unbox, isn't it?

Because I remember, I can't remember what year it is, but if you can, ah, it's, oh, God, looks a while ago. I reckon it was about 10, 12 years ago, maybe. We'd maybe not seen each other for quite a few years. No. Where is it? Well, you'd moved up north. So you used to live near me. Yeah.

Yeah, in Crystal Palace. And then we moved up north in 2010 to be near a grandparents and Alan's mom. And we sort of lost touch a bit. Like, because we didn't gig together. No, exactly. You and Ben were like old uni mates, but you weren't like, you didn't hang out loads. And so we'd sort of lost touch. And it was a great kind of, it's the cycles of life, isn't it?

And the joy of life and surprises and friendship. That we were down in Dorset just randomly. We towed the caravan all the way down there with the kids for this camp site by the beach. and I remember it was it was really foggy where we pitched the caravan I remember in the distance in the fog of Frank Frank get here now

Frank Frank Stupid that's not how I remember It was either Barbara Windsor on holiday I remember saying to Helen I think that sounds like Kerry No it was me and Elsie coming back from the toilet block There we go Me and Elsie coming back from the toilet block

Talking what I would say was just quite Sotto I don't do Soto You don't have that setting So we were just chatting, coming back with a torch And then through the darkness and the fog Through the fog I heard Kel

Is that you? And it was you and Helen And we couldn't literally believe it It was like we bumped into each other on a campsite down in Dorset We'd lost touch for a few years Totally randomly And just completely randomly And then when I got back to the tent

I said to Ben I've just bumped into Rob and Helen and the kids stand And he was like no So I think he legged it down and was like, Ro, because they can see each other for age. Then we proceeded to just spend the rest of that holiday hanging out. The kids got on really well. You know, had a great time.

Straight away, like Elsie and Lenny. They were both about six or seven. Yeah. Immediately clicked. They were in a caravan and we were in a tent. So we're like, we're definitely going to hang out of your place. I love a camp hang. I love a camp hang. Yeah, yeah. And it was just, it just felt so right.

It was organic, wasn't it? Yeah. The kettle went on in the caravan and obviously, eventually, you know, caffeine. People need the loo. People need the loo. Now, we had had a chat about the Thetford, seeing as you ask, a chemical toilet that was on board in the caravan. Yeah.

It wasn't fully functioning for some reason. Oh, my God. It was either full. Because of your retro enthusiasm. he was an old caravan He wasn't top ends No no it's an old caravan I'm looking at this caravan

Because it looks like From the picture I thought it was a static caravan But it's not It's your caravan They towed it all the way From the peak district The bit you can see

That's the little door That you take What's called a cassette Genet Which has all the fecal matter And urine in it And so like paper Does anyone ever shit in a

In a chemical toilet In a caravan? Well when you've got kids They do that's the you know but I think it was either full as in the needle was on red or it stopped working

or so we couldn't put but why am I cleaning it well I don't know which of your children snuck in there and did a stealth poo I think a stealth poo occurred while we took her eye off the ball basically between rounds of top trumps and so it wouldn't go down

so we had to remove the the cassette out from the door of horror and when we got it out there was just covered in and Todd's all over the top and I think we weren't quite sure

how to deal with it and I think at that point you went right get a bin bag and because I think Helen you've got to get practical stood behind you in a pair of marigold but you've got marigolds on haven't you

I've got a bin bag I've just got a dog poo bag let's have a look it's got a dog poo bag I look mortified. Oh, and Helen's behind you with a bottle of bleach. And you're already with a camera. Helen looks very supportive.

I'm not missing that one, girl. Oh, my God. I just remember, you know when you're laughing so hard that you just... It was just ludicrous, wasn't it? You're not mentally well. I'm glad you put that hand on your face and not the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, I mean, that looks revolt.

How did you... Anyone have think she'd done it before, Jen. Put a form on it. Don't worry, I'll get that one off in a second. You've got a dog shit bag. But there was a lot of pleasure on that. I'd also remember, like, fishing. You were fishing for mackerel.

Yeah, we caught mackerel on the beach, didn't you? Your dad was down there and your mom were in static. My dad was down there. They were fishing, like down on the beach. It's a really beautiful little part of the country near Eap in Dorset. And you can walk down to this lovely pebble beach and just people just fish mackerel. And then you barbecued them straight away and eat fresh. From the beach.

You have to go on a boat or anything. No. From the beach. Spin her out because we saw people doing it and then got the bits and then. But this is Rob. He's like, oh, we saw people doing it. You didn't have, like, you didn't come down with the fishing set. And then I just built a fishing rod.

Yes, that's what he's right. We just went into town and got a fishing rod and the bits we need. And because my dad is into fishing. Yeah, your dad's really into fishing. So he told me what I needed to get. Right, okay. So always ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And my dad, like, is a very practical. Again, it's that generation. My dad makes things. That's his job. So that practicality is. I've never been afraid to ask people how he do things. That's how I ended up building jeans thing. I asked the best.

build it, Pete, who'd built some bits in our house for us, done some building. I said, Pete, I think we're building this thing for Helen's mum in the garden. And he just said, oh, I'll come over on that, sit down with you, and go through it, step by step. And he sat there for about four hours and drew out all the plans, step by step what I needed to do. So it was up to building regs and everything. And by the end of it, I had like a full plan of how to build this thing. He literally built a house. I mean, you know how everyone had a hobby in lockdown? or they needed to kind of, you know.

He built a house. Good on you. That's all I do. He built a house. That's incredible. Wait a second, there's all the things that you have to, they have to dig in to create foundations. He did it on his own. That was terrifying.

I remember, because then you're engaging with building inspectors. And structural engineers. Yeah, they can be bastards. Fortunately, Pete had written everything I needed. So I was always on a new, I could tell them what they needed to hear. It's big Lego, isn't it? But yeah, big Lego. But it was a horrible moment when I was digging the foundation.

And I hired a digger, that was great fun. Ended up hiring him. It turned out to leave money for a guy in a... I don't know how Helen... Is Helen all right with this? And it turned out they weren't his diggers. What? Anyway, it don't matter.

Move on. So I dug the foundations out and then to finish it by hand. And then this building inspector, I'd never met one before. Well, would you? How would you? He turned up and I saw him when he came through the gate. He put a pair of mirror shades on. And he walked up with his fingers in the loops. of his belt jeans.

It was awful, like he was John Wayne. And I was stood waist deep in a hole and he stood over me. I could see my reflection in his glasses appealing to have I dug them deep enough, sir?

And he told me I had to dig him even deeper. No. It cost me another like 500 quid in digger higher. Oh no. I'm getting on the cheap, leaving it in a tupper wearing a hedge. But I remember it was a real power move.

That was terrifying. But thanks to Pete, I had everything I needed. And then he started to back away because he thought, I think he knows what he's doing. I mean, I am genuinely impressed that you built, what, like a bungalow? Well, yeah, it's like a, it's a wooden, single story. Yeah.

It's like a great big shed and it's insulated. Cabin, like a cabin. I wouldn't say shed cabin. Yeah, big cabin. I mean, I think that's so impressive. When I've been round to jeans, it's so cozy, kitchen, bedroom. She's very happy in there. It's great.

And also you saying does Helen, I mean, I mean, he, I would love it. He built Helen's mom at my house. I know. Let's look at some of the, because there's loads of dressing up, fancy dress. Can we do?

Oh, God. Because we could do the fancy. I mean, there's a lot going on. That's me and Helen is test daily and Claudia Winkelman. I mean, I was there when this. It's just, because we often spend Christmas,

the week, the betwixtmas, the perennium of the year, it's called. That week between Christmas and New Year, we often go. We go and hang out up at Robin Helens. And they always have a fancy dress party every New Year's. And often we're there for the germination of conversation.

Yeah. Maybe a costume build. This is quite an outfit. And previous years you've been the... I haven't got my readers. Is that Tess and Claudia? Yeah, Tess and Claudia. I think it is.

When you came up with that idea when we were with you, I was like, that is ridiculous. They're not going to do that. Helen, we're going to go down the charity shops. and get it together. That's what she came back with from the charity shops. I said, send me a picture when you've done it. Well, to be fair, Helen already had, I think, the gold jumpsuit.

But what about this yellow dress for you? That was a series of throws that were just kind of attached and pinned to me. It's the making, isn't it? That was a very simple bit of that one. What about when you were the angel of the north? Went to the angel of the north. He made an angel of a north outfit. That a cardboard, yeah, which meant I had to stand.

How did you get through doors? Sideways What about Sideways We went We once went as There was an animal's theme It's my cousin's party

We had an animal's theme We once went as We built fish heads Like a pubble machet That and yeah That's the mackerel's yeah We went as John mackerel unrow

And sardine and I've rattled over And our bottom halves You can't see We were in tennis clothes I mean when you dress up You really dress up up. You go for it, don't you?

You go large. You really do. I mean, that is so impressive, those fishers. Those fishes are great. Often it gets termed at that time of year, the build is happening, isn't it? The costume build. Yes. Yeah, so last year's actually was lightning fast.

Yeah, because I remember, because you were leaving that day and you went, I've got to get this outfit to go. I was like, you're not going to make it, babe, because I know you set the bar very high. And then he sent me that picture of him and Helen has tested and Claudia. That is such a great picture. So good. We got there. We got there.

But it was frantic. But also, there's nothing better than having a bloke and a dress. I'm sorry, but you can't beat it. Yeah. And look at that hairy chest over the top. You have got boobs though, then. What did you stuff in there? Socks, walking socks.

But I hope that picture doesn't come back to haunt me and I get cancelled from it. But it was all done with love. Yeah. I think we've got a tradition of it in this country, men dressed in as well. The only thing is a strong tradition, isn't it? A very strong tradition. One of my favourite ones, we went once, there was a Prince and Porpers party.

Helen was pregnant at the time with Len. So this is like 18, 19 years ago. No, it would have been 18 years ago because she was really pregnant. And she went as a prince, like in a prince kind of jacket. Yeah. And tied to like a kind of glamorous pregnant prince. Oh, right, not prince, artist formerly known her. Yeah, she went to, yeah, like a prince, like a French prince.

And I went as a porpoise. Right. The Prince of the Porpoise. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I misheard it. That was the joke that I did all night. Yeah.

Yeah. But that was a big build of building a whole out of foam and then materials. A whole Porpoise costume. Yep. Which, and part of the fun of for me at the party is arriving in the thing. Yeah. And you're always, I mean, not everyone's got the skills you've got. So yours must be quite a talking point.

It was quite a big. one. Yeah. What did you do do with these outfits after? Do you hang on to them? Yeah.

The fish heads are great. They actually beat for. Still got them. Yeah, the Porpoise made a comeback one year when there was a fallow year and Jules and Gaz came up to us and then

suddenly about 11 o'clock we went, we're not even in fancy dress so Gaz put the poor poise on we found a wig for Jules and me and Helen put some old clothes on and we took some pictures like we're in the 70s. I think Joel might have that as well. There we go.

So, Angel of the North. Oh, yes, we've got that here. Angel of the North, it's worth saying you wore that on stage after. Yeah, that, then. So you've got a show out of that. I've now performed as the Angel of the North. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's just so visually funny, seeing him in that outfit. Oh, yeah. It's fun arriving on stage to, that's living all right. Waddling on with your arms by your sides and then raising them up at the sides and then everyone suddenly gets it. It's worth doing just for that. It's just, it's so much.

It's worth it though That sums you up Rob He's like It's worth it Build it It's worth it You get love Yeah build it

They will come Yeah Bill it they will come Exactly Rob are you on tour at the moment I'm doing a tour in the spring of next year So March and April

2026 We've been doing a lot of support Tour support for me And we've been having a lot of fun Which I've really enjoyed Thanks you for me It's so lovely, having you. It's been grateful, isn't it?

Anyone needs some big tour warm-ups, ladies? I'm always up for it. But the point being also that you're going on to do your own tour. And do my own tour. Go see Rob Rouse for heaven saying. Oh, my God. March and April, 26, all the dates are at Rob Rouse.com. I highly recommend people go and see you.

Honestly, you won't regret it. But I've not done one for a while, so I'm really looking forward to it. How long has it been since you've done one? Last time I did one on my own was probably about 2017. Go see Rob Rouse. I'll go get yourself a ticket now. It's happening. It is a part of the movement. And also, you'll laugh like a drain for an hour.

What the hell? What more do you want? Well, I think, I mean, the scale of it, it's me for 90 minutes. There's no, I can't, I can't afford support, so I'm going out to you. Even better. 2.45. 2.45s at this guy. With props.

That's the plan. Thank you.