Mick Unplugged - Bonus Episode 9 | Italia Tornabene - Decoding Men and Financial Empowerment - Mick Unplugged

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

In this enlightening episode, Mick Hunt talks with Italia Tornabene about her multifaceted approach to understanding men and securing financial independence. Italia discusses how her background informed her unique perspectives on interpersonal relationships and investment. She offers actionable advice for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and stabilize their financial future.Italia Tornabene's Background: Former exotic dancer turned author and financial expert, known for her keen insights into male behavior and innovative investment strategies.Defining Moments: Italia shares transformative experiences that shifted her from surviving to thriving financially and personally.Discussion Topics:Insights from her book "Decoding Men" explore male behaviors and traits based on extensive personal observations.Italia's journey from financial struggles to success highlights her unique investment approaches, including real estate and domain investing.Practical advice for both men and women to understand each other better for healthier relationships and personal growth.Key Quotes:"Men are simple creatures; understanding them can significantly improve communication.""Invest in tangible assets like gold, land, and domain names to secure financial growth."Next Steps:Explore: Check out Italia Tornabene's books for deeper insights into human behavior and smart investing.Reflect: Consider how understanding the simplicity of relationships can improve your interpersonal connections.Engage: Share how Italia's strategies can influence your financial and personal life using #MickUnplugged. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you ready to change your habits, sculpt your destiny, and light up your path to greatness? Welcome to the epicenter of transformation. This is Mic Unplugged. We'll help you identify your because, so you can create a routine that's not just productive, but powerful. You'll embrace the art of evolution, adapt strategies to stay ahead of the game, and take a step toward the extraordinary. So let's unleash your potential. Now, here's Mick. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Mick Unplugged, where we dive into the stories of remarkable people who inspire us to go further. And today's guest is a powerhouse in the field of personal

development. She's a speaker, she's a coach, and she's an author known for her transformative insights. She brings passion, energy, and a deep commitment to helping others reach their fullest potential. Please welcome to the show, none other than Ms. Italia Tornabeni. Italia, how are you doing, lady? Good. How are you? I am awesome. I am awesome. So I got to let you know, I'm scared. You have this powerful book. You have this book about decoding men, and I'm scared. Oh, yeah.

I'm scared. You might have decoded me a little bit. But we're going to go right into it. It's a It is. And so I will tell all the men that are listening, the book is actually amazing. Not worried that it wasn't going to be. The book is actually amazing. And you're going to learn some things about yourself in this book. So I tell you, going into it, Decoding Men, right? It delves into your understanding of men based on 19 years of experience, studying our characteristics, our behaviors. Again, I'm a little scared. Can you share what initially sparked your interest in this area of study?

Yeah, I actually was an exotic pole dancer for many, many years. And I would have to decode men within the first five minutes of meeting them. Because as an exotic dancer, you can either mold your personality to match that person and to get them into the IP room, right? That's the whole point. It's the selling point. I've heard stories. I've heard stories. But we all have our specific clientele. And for me, at the time, I owned two businesses, I had 65 employees. And for me, it was the workaholics and the businessmen that I would get along with the most, I'd be able to have actual conversation with them. And I really, if men walked in, like in a group, I was in Vegas. So there was a lot of bachelor parties there. With five minutes, I would have to scan them and see

like, which one is my client? How? Because if I know which one is my client, I know I would have to scan them and see which one is my client. Because if I know which one is my client, I know I'm going to be making money. I know I'm going to have a connection with that person. And I think it took me about 10 years to really hone that into the point where I was kind of, it was a game with me. Am I right? Am I wrong? And I would actually take notes. Like, this one's a workaholic. These are their characteristics. This one's a nurturer. This one is a caregiver. You know, this one's

the party animal. This one's the long-term guy. You know, you have that one guy that, you know, wants everything long-term. So anyways, it took me probably about 10 years to master it to the point where I was making money, a lot of money. And people were asking me why and how I was making so much money. of money, and people were asking me why and how I was making so much money. But I think it was just because I really, really learned how to decode men. And you guys are the simplest creatures, you really, really are. I think, you know, as women with social media, we have such high expectations of men. And it's getting ridiculous. I think social media has really, really heightened that. But I think you guys are really, really simple creatures.

And if we understood each other more, communication would be better. And with better communication, you can actually hold on to that person long term. You know, I'm not even offended that you called me simple because I would actually agree. I would actually agree. It's the simple things that I'm going to say the simple things that matter. And I think that's that's true for men and women. Simple things matter. But I do think for men, for us, the simplicity of life. Right. Totally makes sense. So you talked about a couple of insights. So I've read the book. I don't want to say it. I would love to hear from Natalia. What are some key insights that readers can expect to gain from Decoding Men regarding understanding guys and men's mannerisms and behaviors? Right. So I broke it down to about 12 different personalities. And in those personalities, and you know, and this is women and men can read this, but you can figure out your partner

by the characteristics of each one of those codes, I say, that I've broken down into. And let's say, you know, your husband's a workaholic, and you're taking it personal. You know, it's just that he has a personality that's very driven. And don't take it personal. You know, and a woman needs to be his rock and be his powerhouse in a situation like that so I've broken it down to almost bullet points like if he does this this that and that or if his traits are this this that and that he is this and then it goes into love language too and I think it's important for all of us to understand our own love language for me it's gifts I mean my friends my family I'll always buy them gifts you know know, that's just my love language.

But everybody has a different love language. And that too, I break down so people can understand that. So you can decode your man by looking at the characteristics of each category and say, okay, he's this. And sometimes there's a mix, you know, sometimes there's a mix, but at least I break it down to where if he is this or this or a mix, this is how you address them. This is the best way to deal with your relationship and the best way to address that person. And, you know, it's great for people in the sex work industry, but it's also great for relationships.

Because like I said, you guys are very simple. And with so much understanding, you know, relationships hopefully can last a little bit longer. So it sounds like this is the cheat code for men. So like, I'm going to have to write a counter to this book called Breaking the Cheat Code or something. I love that. So can you discuss some of the common misconceptions or stereotypes about men that your book aims to dispel?

So we'll go to communication. And I learned this from from dancing and talking to men, they would tell me stuff like, you know, my wife, you know, she hasn't slept with me in months, right. And I'm listening to them. And I'm like, okay, and being a dancer, you hear everything. You're a psychologist, you're a therapist, you know, you're there for entertainment, you're there for emotional support. But I would hear they say and then i'd break it down and i'm like okay that's not why she's not sleeping with you she's not sleeping with you because you just said she gained 50 pounds she doesn't feel comfortable about herself you know it has nothing to do with you women and

men communicate differently a woman may say something and expect a man to understand what she's saying because she means something completely different than what came out of her mouth. And a man is literal. Like, okay, well, you said this, this, that, and that. And that happens a lot. So the breakdown of communication happens a lot. But like I said, if you understand your partner or you understand the man that you're with by decoding him, then that communication should go a long way. And yeah. I love it. I love it. So you said earlier that the book is for both men and women. So why do you feel it's important for both men and women to have a deeper understanding of the male behavior? And again, guys, I got us coming back. Don't worry. I'm writing the sequel to this book. Don't worry.

Actually, you know, it paints you guys in a great light. It's not a bad book at all. It's not. It's not. Yeah, it's not. I think for women, like I just said, you know, if you're in the sex work industry, you can pretty much decode a man in five, 10 minutes by talking to him, you know, just a little bit, or even seeing what he's wearing, those little things. And for a man, you might want to understand your circle of friends better. Maybe you have a communication barrier with one of your friends, and you're just like, man, I can't understand this guy, right? So it's a good book for you to read. And also, men have male partners too. So it's a great book for them. There it is. All audiences. I love it. So you said that dancing provided you a great means of life from a financial side, right? You were homeless. Oh, talk to us about that. I was homeless multiple

times. I have a 19 year old son and he was about five years old. His father decided to come back into his life. And it was literally a 10 year battle, custody battle of going back and forth and back and forth. And it got to the point where all of my money was going towards fighting for my son. And at the time, I was working for the government. And you would think with degrees and working for the government, you would have enough money to sustain yourself and survive. But it was impossible. I think towards the end of my career, I had three degrees, I was working full time. And my studio that my son and I lived in a studio was 3800 a month, and my paycheck was 4300 a month. And that was with three degrees and working for the government for 10 years. And I was so sick of maxing out my credit cards every month.

I was so sick of living check to check to the point where it was like, if we didn't have groceries, I had a couple of noodles under my desk, you know, for the next couple of days until I was able to get paid again. It got to the point where I started dancing probably like two or three times a month just to fight the custody battles and be able to pay for the attorney. And then when I moved to San Diego and I was working and I mean, yeah, and I was living in that studio, I found a club down there in San Diego and it was so lucrative. Just the few days that I worked, I realized like maybe it would be best for me to do this part-time and keep this a part-time job so I could start building more of my savings.

And I was making anywhere from five to 10 grand a weekend. And I was still working for the government and working two jobs like that. I was probably working like 60 hours a week, maybe more. After 10 years, I did my tenure. They call it a tenure when you work for the government for a certain amount of time where you're fully invested. And I quit. And I decided to go on this journey of dancing full time instead of part time and just stack my chips. And that's what I did. And it's done very, very well for me. I like it. You stack chips. And I'm going to let everyone that's listening know and understand Talia is one of the sharpest financial minds that are out there, right? I tell people, don't let the pretty face fool you. She has a very sharp financial mind. So not only does she have the book Decoding Men, she also has a book, Easy Investing. And this book, I have actually picked

up quite a few tips. So Talia, what inspired you to write a guide specifically aimed at simplifying the investment process? Because I thought that was so key of just understanding investment. I'm going to say in everyday terminology and everyday strategies. So what was your inspiration behind? A few things. So it started because I'm writing my autobiography. This is actually a big part in it because it's a rags to riches story. But my investment strategies had a lot to do with it. And, you know, my sister's my assistant, and she's reading it with me. And

she's like, she's proofreading the book. She's like, I've never even thought about this stuff. I didn't know that you did this stuff. And I was like, yeah. And I realized like we grew up in a very, very poor household and savings to my family was a 401k and pulling out of that 401k as many times as they can a year to make money. And we were never taught about savings and investing wasn't even in their vocabulary, you know, like there's no such thing. And we don't learn that stuff in school, which we should, we should definitely learn it in school. Absolutely. That stuff in school.

So here I am homeless, living check to check. And, you know, everybody tells you open a savings account, save. But anybody who's lived check to check will understand this. Once you have a savings account, you know, you may put $500 in there or $1,000 in there. When you're living check to check, that's a big deal, you know? But as soon as an emergency hits, you're pulling out that money. And you really never get a chance to save because you're truly living check to check, like I was working for the government.

But I started investing when I was homeless. And I invested in tangible things. And the reason why is because I knew if I had that money in the bank, I would spend it. If I got a flat tire, instead of figuring out and getting a used $50 tire, I would get the $300 tire, you know? So what I started buying was gold and silver bars. And I know people think, how do you buy, you know, gold and silver bars, but you can buy them on J.M. Boyan from anywhere from $50 to $100. Whatever I had left over that I could invest, I started off with $50 a month, $50, $50. And then you see these little gold bars, little silver bars stacking up in a safe. It's exciting. And when you do reach an emergency,

it's like by the time you cash that in or sell it, you've already dealt with what you needed to deal with. And you learn other ways to deal with it. Like I said about the flat tire, you know, if I get a flat tire, I could buy a $50 used tire rather than a $300 one. So I started stacking, you know, gold and silver. And then I really don't know where this came from. I just know I did some research, but domain names. So domain names are very interesting. Like you have your own website, right? Correct. Your podcast with as much traffic as you drive to it. I'm not sure how like you have your own website right correct for your podcast with as much traffic as you drive to it i'm not sure how much you bought your domain name for but back in the day i bought mine on go daddy for as little as a penny wow this was you know like 10 years ago right so i bought mine for as little as a penny um i started a couple paralegal

businesses in my early 20s. And those domain names, like I said, I don't know where it came from. I must have gone on a rabbit hole and did some research. But those names that I bought for a penny, you know, or a dollar ended up going for 1000s of dollars because the traffic that's driven to them. So then I went down a rabbit hole wondering what domain names do people want the most? And at this point in time, it's health and fitness. So if you buy some domain names, you can make up a name. It could be McUnplugged Health and Fitness.

It could be that. And you're just holding on to it, and it could be attached to your website. So that domain name will go up in value. Now I have 10 pages on GoDaddy of domain names that are worth thousands of dollars. So that was another investment that I did. And I have held on to all of them. I haven't sold any of them. Another one is land. So I think I had $5,000 and I bought three parcel lands in Tennessee with that amount.

And some were, you know, one was 500, the other one was 1000. The other one might have been like two grand. But to this day, the land hasn't gone down in value, it's only gone up. And I get offers on it constantly by attorneys or people that are buying land. And I learned a lot when I bought land. So you want to get like agriculture is a big one. That one's going to always increase in value. Absolutely. Yeah. Residential land is great, but it has to be like in a track already with water, sewer, all that stuff hooked up. And now I own land in Arizona, Tennessee, Kentucky, and in New York. That's amazing. And I just keep buying up land, cheap, cheap land, but it's there.

If I have an emergency, I can cash it out real quick. You know, I'm planning on holding onto it for my son because I figured 20, 30, 40 years from now, it's going to be worth a whole lot more than I bought it for. And these little things that I've done to invest that I just started, that was just the very start. You start. The little things that I did, next thing you knew, I had a portfolio worth a couple hundred thousand dollars. Where do you see a return like that where you could buy a domain for a dollar or a penny and it's worth two, $3,000 a couple of years later? Let me tell you something on that. I've got a friend. You remember late 90s when the internet really became a thing, right?

Because when the internet first started, it was news cycles was essentially what you found on the internet, right? News cycles and silliness. But I had a friend who we were in college in the late nineties, bought several domain names off of companies that he knew were big brands that hadn't thought about the internet yet. Yes. This 20 year old bought seven,

and I can't say the names of these companies, but he bought seven domains and in a year made $500,000. Smart. Yeah. And you know, like literally, and the crazy thing is if he would have held out, or if we both were just smart and thought about it, that could have been like $500 million because the internet is your lifeline, right? Like your domain is your lifeline for major corporations. And even if you're not a major corporation, even for individuals out there, I tell people go buy your domain name, your name at a minimum, because you don't know where you're going to go. You don't know who you're going to become. Your name is important. It's the one asset that you're always going to go. You don't know who you're going to become. Your name is important.

It's the one asset that you're always going to have. And think about that as a brand. Exactly. Exactly. You're a hundred percent right. And these are things that people don't teach you. Everybody pushes the stock market on you. I remember 2008. And like I said, I was living check to check my whole life. And 2008 hit and the markets dropped and everybody was like, oh, it's going to go back up, you know, buying into the stock market now. And I put everything I had into it. Had there been like a thousand dollars, you know, but to me that was a lot of money. I lost it all.

I lost it all. And it's like everybody pushes the stock market on you, but it's like there's so many other ways to invest money, especially if you're looking check to check and you can't afford to lose a dollar. You can't afford to lose it, Then gold, tangible gold. I know people will invest in gold online. I want to hold mine. I want to know that I have it. I cashed it in. I don't want to lose. I'm not sending my money on the internet anymore for that. There you go. Yeah. So I talk about that stuff in here. I also talk about something that really helped me out too was custom whole life insurance. And that's way too much for me to talk about on here. helped me out too was custom whole life insurance. And that's way too much for me to talk about on here.

I do suggest people talk to- I have an insurance background like that. That was my gram for 25 years. Absolutely. And it's great. Even if I don't ever have to use it, I know that my son's going to be set for life. There you go. What are a couple other, like one or two key concepts or strategies that you introduce in easy investing that most people don't think about? I would say the domain and the physical goal and land. I mean, those are the three things that really have done well for me.

And I never would have thought about it had I not, you know, done my own research and went down rabbit holes. What can people expect to get out of the book, Easy Investing? What are some benefits that the readers are going to get from that book? Start saving. It's really not for your avid investor. It's not for somebody that has a huge portfolio. This is for somebody that is living check to check, doesn't have a savings account because they can't hold on to it.

This is going to be your golden ticket to start investing. This is going to be the beginning of a beautiful future for you. You can hold on to it for years. Yeah. And I'll be honest and very transparent. I feel like I'm really good at financial strategies. Your book even taught me things, again, in a simplified version, so much so that I gave that to my kids. and I was like, forget everything dad told you. Just read this and follow this because it truly is to your point. If you're new at saving or investing, or if you have financial struggles, because all of us, I don't care where you are today. All of us have been there. And I don't want people to think that

you're too big to have been there because we all have been there. This book reinforces concepts. It reinforces strategies. And for that person that's like, where do I go? How do I start? This book is the key. I promise you. I promise you. Atalia, what are some misconceptions or fears that people have about investing? And then how would your book break those down? Because again, I want you to say it because even my kids saw a couple of eye-opening things and I'd love for you to address that. I'm actually writing a children's book right now. It's done, but it's actually for kids and it's barnyard animals saving, like a squirrel saving nuts and stuff like that. Just teach kids about saving. It's important, you know, but back to

your question, it's losing money. It's the same fear I have the same fear you have. I'm the same fear people have that are dumping money into crypto right now. It's the fear of losing it forever that once that money is gone, it's gone, right? Put it in the stock market, stock market crashes tomorrow. And I feel like everybody's been living in fear the past four years since COVID happened. It's just this nonstop fear of what's happened to the economy, what's happening with inflation. And in my book, you're actually purchasing physical, tangible things that do not decrease in value. And even if it's gold, gold right now is at the highest it's ever been. But let's just say the economy does flop, that gold is going to go for even more. There's only a few lands that you can purchase, right?

They don't keep rebuilding land, right? You only have a few plots that you could purchase. And then gold is a rare commodity as well. So these are rare things that you're holding onto. A domain name, there's only one,.com. There's all these.net and stuff like that. But the.coms are the main ones. You can't just um

just purchase it again nobody can come along and just take it yeah so these are actual tangible things so you know that's why it's important for people that are living check the check and that want to invest and save this is so important because you're not going to lose your money this way this way you're going to hold on to it. I love it. It'll take some process, but it's there for you to cash in at any time. J.M. Boyan buys back their gold and silver, copper, whatever you want to buy. So if you had an actual emergency and let's say you stacked up a few grand and you're like, I need this. It's dire. Just go back to J.M. Boyan and they'd buy it for you. Absolutely. All right. You've been so gracious with your time and I appreciate you more than you know.

So a couple of questions. I'm going to get you out of here. Okay. One. So make them plug. We talk about going deeper than your why and being fueled by your because, right? Like I think everyone's why I'm not saying it's superficial, but your because is your reason that you do the things that you do.

Right. So today, what's Italia's because? I have lived the craziest life. I'm sure we all have a story, but I think that our journey is, especially if we've had a tough journey, it's because we can handle it. And I think that my purpose on this earth is to help others and to learn through my hardships. I remember, you know, I used to curse the heavens and say, why me? Why me? Like, how could this happen to me? You know, and I realized because I was strong enough to get through it. But there's so many people that I talked to that feel like they've

lost hope. And they may be 10 years older than me. But I'm like, hey, no, I've been there, you know, you're going to get through it. And I just want to help other people. I want to help other people succeed. I want to help other people get through horrible times. So that kind of hope to do with my autobiography and little books like this, you know, help people have a better future and some more hope and faith in this life. Love it. Freaking love it. All right. Last question. You mentioned the books and the autobiography coming up. So where can people find, obtain, get the books? Where can people follow Italia? Like where do we follow Italia? I would go to my Instagram. It does have all my links on it.

And it also has my website on it. So you could purchase the books on Amazon or through my website or on TikTok. So if you go to TikTok and you purchase it, then you get a signed copy. I would follow my Instagram because it has all the websites on there that you need. All right. At Italia Tornabeni. Italia Tornabeni. Absolutely. Well, Italia, I appreciate you.

This was amazing. A ton of great tips. Everyone, come back and listen. Write down all the tips that Italia gave you because I promise you, you will not be disappointed. And as always, remember, your because is your superpower. Thanks for listening to Mick Unplugged. We hope this episode helps you take the next step toward the extraordinary and launches a revolution in your life. Don't forget to rate and review the podcast and be sure to check us out on YouTube at Mick Unplugged.

Remember, stay empowered, stay inspired, and stay unplugged.