Mick Unplugged - Dr Jody Carrington: Breaking the Loneliness Epidemic-The Power of Being Seen & Heard

Starting point is 00:00:00 whoever made us said, I'm going to make you neurobiologically wired for connection. Okay, you disconnect from an infant, they die. We will never automate relationship. No matter how good we get at the AI, if you understand in your business, in your organization, in your family system, that the only AI that's going to matter in the next generation, more than anything, is authentic interaction, you will be wildly successful. Welcome to Mick Unplugged, the number one podcast. podcast for self-improvement, leadership, and relentless growth.

Starting point is 00:00:33 No fluff, no filters, just heart-hitting truths, unstoppable strategies, and the mindset shifts that separate the best from the rest. Ready to break limits? Let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged, and today we've got something very special. She is the psychologist shaking up boardrooms, classrooms, and living rooms, reminding us that connection isn't soft, it's your freaking superpower. From trauma expert to best-selling author and global speaker, she's redefining how we lead, how we heal, and how we rise. Please join me in welcoming the fearless, the grounded, the electric Alberta Canada's finest.

Starting point is 00:01:22 Dr. Jody Carrington. Dr. Jody, how are you doing today, dear? Oh my gosh. better now. That was the best intro in the history of intros. I think we need to go in the road. Let's go. I'm ready. I'm ready if you're ready. I'm ready. I know. I'm so excited. Tell me more about this amazing place. So this amazing place is in the room right now with Dr. Jody. One of the most inspiring people that I know, one of the smartest people that I know. I'm a huge fan of your podcast, by the way, as well. I'm a huge fan of your books. It's hard to be a bestseller, but after reading

Starting point is 00:02:00 them, I know why. So congratulations and kudos to you. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's been a wild ride, but I'm just loving it. And I feel like we're just getting started. Do you know that feeling? Absolutely. That is literally how I feel like every day. It's like some days I wake up and it's like, how'd I get here? And a lot of days, it's like, holy crap, we're going places, right? Yeah. Yeah. So Dr. Jody, Again, a huge fan of what you do. I love how, you know, as someone who was very well educated, you have this unique ability to break things down in, like, simple terms. And that's why I think your books are easy read, your conversations, your communities are as large as they are, because you are very relatable.

Starting point is 00:02:43 And I always like to ask my guest, like, what's your because? What's that purpose that you have that's deeper than your why? Like, what drives Dr. Carrington every day? Hmm. That is such a good question. So I'll tell you this. Like, I don't know if this video recorded, but I'll tell you my story. So I grew up in a little town called Viking Alberta, Canada. White, straight, able-bodied, and deeply racist. I didn't see a person of color until I was in grade three. In this country, there was an attempted cultural genocide of indigenous peoples that I did not know about because, mostly because of my privilege. I got a Ph.D. in this country, and not one time did I learn about the residential school system. I didn't understand the true meaning of starting on third base until I started to serve. I became a civilian member of our National Police Force. And then I took, my first job was on a locked psychiatric inpatient unit for kids.

Starting point is 00:03:48 And so hitters, kickers, biters, many of the kids were in care. and in my privilege not one time did I pause and say what happened here how come there is such racial disparity how come there's such financial disparity how come right what why in my particular country right now are there certain people indigenous peoples relegated to unfurtile plots of land what we call reservations who made that decision when we all start start in exactly the same place, when we all end in exactly the same place, when our DNA as human beings in this human race is 99.98% the same. Race is a social construct. And we did not ever talk about that. So I feel like I was so lucky to be in a place where I would be exposed to

Starting point is 00:04:50 things and be in a position to treat people who have experienced things that I cannot even fathom. And as my career evolved, it became very clear to me that the only purpose, the only reason I'm here is to understand what this privilege is given me and that I better use it. And that my kids will not be better than me. And they need, I mean, they've got so much room if I think about all the ways that I needed to grow. But I can't tell them how to be inclusive or kind or anti-racist. I need to show them. And it has been the greatest motivator of all time.

Starting point is 00:05:36 You know, when we, at the top of the show, we said, you know, I can't, I feel like I'm just getting started. Mostly, I feel like I've never been more grateful to be alive. We're in the center of what people would often say to me as a mental health crisis. it's a loneliness epidemic like you cannot imagine one in four you know adolescents in this moment have a plan to end their lives um the loneliness epidemic is massive high straight of suicide uh in your country and mine as middle aged men and i think that the capacity the ability to to make significant shifts right now in this world is so easy because the bar is so low

Starting point is 00:06:15 correct it's never been this easy And so I feel so lucky to be able to have that insight and then to be able to be in a very privileged body that I better use. And so I think that that is that is the greatest motivation. And it just feels like such an honor, such a privilege to to do what I do every day, which is really talk to people about how much they matter. I freaking love that. I freaking love that. You know, again, being such a huge fan of yours and taking this conversation a little bit deeper, you often say that connection is why we're here, right? Like, I think that's one of your principles is connection. What was your moment that made that more than just theory, but an actual pillar of who you are? Oh my gosh. Do you want it in rank or alphabetical order? Like I feel like I feel like I'll just tell you this. I mean, this is the newest revelation for me when I think about the human race. Okay. So there's two rules of the human race. Whoever created us. And I kind of like made this up in my head. But this is after being a psychologist for 20 years, I think that there's two rules. So number one, whoever created us. And it doesn't matter to me what you believe in Jesus or Buddha or Yahweh, the great big bang, however we got here. As humans, we're way more like than we are different. And there's sort of two rules. Number one, whoever made us said, I'm going to make you neurobiologically wired for connection.

Starting point is 00:07:48 Okay? You disconnect from an infant. They die. We will never automate relationship. No matter how good we get at the AI, if you understand in your business, in your organization, in your family system, that the only AI that's going to matter in the next generation, more than anything, is authentic interaction. You will be wildly successful, okay?

Starting point is 00:08:09 Because you will never automate relationship. The fact that if we could do this podcast in person, our neurochemistry would be remarkably different than it is right now. Now, because of technological advances, we can be in two different countries and do this beautifully, which I'm very grateful for you. The idea is that we will very quickly underestimate the importance of being in the same room of showing up when somebody loses their dad, of being at our kids' dance recitals. Those are the things that we will never.

Starting point is 00:08:41 automate in this loneliness epidemic. So that's the number one. That's the number one rule, we're neurobiologically wired for connection. The second rule, whoever made us, threw a curveball. And they were like, um, despite the fact that I'm going to make you neurobiologically wired for connection, the hardest thing you will ever do is look at each other. Wow. Isn't that ridiculous? And I think that that is, and people say this to me all the time. Oh, what do you mean? I'm very good at connection. I look at people. No, you don't. You, I mean, if we were in the same room. I mean, I often do this when I give a keynote. I get people, I say them to them, you know, make eye contact right now with somebody in the room. And it is remarkably

Starting point is 00:09:19 difficult because if I'm a room, it doesn't matter. I mean, with police officers or teachers or CEOs or Fortune 500 execs or I'm at the United Nations. I gave a talk at the United Nations and I said to the people in the room, I want you to make eye contact with, look at each other. And there's a lot of like, like arms are crossed and, you know, and sometimes there's cultural differences in eye contact, but I got to tell you, we all use our eyes to judge safety. We all use our eyes if we are able-bodied or we're visually able to make, and kids on the spectrum, people say this to me all the time, what about kids on the spectrum or people on the spectrum and on the autism spectrum?

Starting point is 00:09:57 Still, we use this. And what's fascinating to me is we've never had so many exit ramps. We've never had so many opportunities to look away. And it is estimated that our great-grandparents looked at their children, 72%. more of the time than we look at our babies today. And why that becomes critically important to know is that, you know, as you said, connection for me is one of the pillars because we're neurobiologically wired for it. And the only way you learn empathy, kindness, how to speak, how to emotionally regulate is somebody has to show you.

Starting point is 00:10:35 Nobody can tell you. Nobody can text an infant and be like, hey, calm down. right right the physical presence of another human being is what we need when we are in our most dire straits and we don't need somebody to tell us what to do like it's okay it's okay let's plant a tree um you're gonna be you know what we need is the physical presence of another human being to do this mm-hmm and for me to your question the epitome for me i mean the thing that comes to mind the most is the story and feeling scene that i talk about that you mentioned uh about i wondered you know why connection and human connection was like such a big thing for me. Why did it become the thing

Starting point is 00:11:14 I write about and talk about and, you know, went to school for? So I grew up in this little town biking upward Canada with a mom and a dad and a brother, a younger brother. And my mom and dad were like, you know, in this small farming community, they were very involved in the community, very connected. We, I thought, had everything together. My mom and dad end up getting divorced. And it was like a shocker. Like I didn't see coming because I never felt like there was any disruptions that I can recall. And now I really think about an underlying sadness that was there quite a bit. My dad was very disconnected from us. And it's, I mean, they go on to get new partners. Curtis and I become, you know, successful and married and, you know, all this things. And then

Starting point is 00:11:58 at one point, I think I was 35. I was pregnant with our first baby. And my mom said, you know, I'd love you to come home to the farm for the weekend. You're, you know, my Aaron, My husband was away, and she's like, why don't you come home to the farm for the weekend? I was like, that's amazing. Of course I will. So I come home, and my mom and dad at that point had been divorced for 20 years. And so I'm sitting at the kitchen table where I grew up. And in the door, walks my dad and my brother, which is not uncommon.

Starting point is 00:12:22 My mom and dad are still, you know, were still reasonably good friends, but they just sort of walked in. And then we all ended up sitting at the kitchen table where, you know, we had sat, our respective seats when we were kids. And I was like, what the heck is going on here? And my mom brought out the lemon loaf, which. is like the universal sign of death, you know, like obviously somebody's going down. And so I'm looking at my brother like, what is happening right now? And my mom starts to cry, my dad starts to cry. And in my head, I'm like, okay, so somebody's dying. Right. And then my father says to me,

Starting point is 00:12:53 um, your mother and I need to tell you to something that we haven't told anybody in 40 years. And I was like, what? I know, I mean, I talk to my mom every day. I talk to my dad every few days. Like I don't understand. What do you mean? And so then I'm like, obviously dad's gay. Like, what is the other thing that you cannot tell you know this is in my head you know and right at this point i'm i'm i am excited because nobody's dying i'm like right that's amazing let's talk about and then he said um he said you have a sister and everything went quiet and i remember again even there being relief in that because nobody was dying but i we just looked at each other and he he was like you have a full biological sister your mother and i got pregnant um when you know we

Starting point is 00:13:42 were in our teens and our late teens and um we decided that uh we couldn't tell anybody and they didn't they were like high school sweethearts okay so they they grew up on farms like three miles from each other both very staunch catholic families and they didn't want to disappoint their parents so they bound my mom's belly she even stood in my aunt's wedding party at six months pregnant and nobody knew and and then they found a home for unwed mothers um i don't know how they would have done this you know back in the day when they were whatever they were 17 18 years old and he took her to a city called calgary which is probably about three or four hours from where they were and dropped her off they made this big story that she was taking a job for the summer for the

Starting point is 00:14:26 winter or wherever it was and um she had my sister and she was alone uh in that process my dad just dropped her off, wasn't allowed to stay. My mom had to make the decisions about, you know, signing the forms and, you know, she did have some say in who could adopt her. But her story is horrific in terms of, you know, like they, she wanted to see my sister. And so she got to hold her for 20 minutes and then never saw her again. And my dad picked her up a few weeks later. And she said she remembers that, you know, while she was there, there was very lovely social workers and, but people that were very clear with her that like you will never look for her you this is the decision you made you will never look for her and so um when my dad picked her up she said she remembered she'd crocheted

Starting point is 00:15:15 a skirt and a vest and that that he picked her up and they never talked about it and she said sometimes like on her birthday or things like that they would sort of like you know mom would be crying and you know dad would sort of comfort her but they would just be like okay so they decided to get married or they got married um four years later and then had me a year after that so i look a lot like my sister um and so when they um you know i just cannot imagine what that would have been like you know holding a baby girl five years later you know all of the things in your body and nobody knows they had to go to a city to have me um because they couldn't use our local physician because he would have seen the scar and so they made the story you know that i she had complications

Starting point is 00:16:01 and her pregnancy with me so that, you know, they could deliver somewhere where nobody would know. Yeah. And, and so it's just, it's taken, we've, she's now been in our life for, for 15 years. And my gosh, she looks exactly like my mother. She, if we're in the same room, you can't tell us apart, like we sound the same. Our mannerisms are the same. She got a degree. We were at the same university. We live six blocks away from each other. And we never knew. And she married a firefighter, and they have a little guy who is in between our three children and he looks more like me than my boys do. And it's just lovely. We now, you know, it's not like I don't, I feel closer to my brother for sure. We just lost our dad a couple of months ago. And I, I feel so much more connected to my

Starting point is 00:16:47 brother, obviously because we have the history that's deeper. But it's so fascinating to watch the nature versus nurture play out in front of your eyeball. and navigating grief together and, you know, what she's allowed to feel and I'm not allowed, like, the resentment and the, you know, the sadness and like all those things. So I'm so grateful before my dad died that, you know, we had 15 years to kind of navigate those things and I asked those hard questions. Like, you know, did you marry mom because you loved her? Did you feel guilty? You know, how often did you think about Val? And, you know, they named her Kimberly at birth. And then, yeah, and then her parents, her adoptive parents, who lovely human,

Starting point is 00:17:28 named your Valerie. Dr. Jody, like, so many questions in hearing that story, right? One, condolences on the passing of your father, so my heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you. The story is so unique in the sense of there wasn't a child that was born from infidelity, right? this is a full biological older sister that you have, right? So for 30 plus years, you're the oldest, right? Like, you're in charge.

Starting point is 00:18:05 You make all the decisions. You get in trouble. You get the blame for things. But you're also the oldest, right? So I'm the oldest that I know of. I'm the oldest. Just watch yourself because when you least expect it, boom. That one has questions, right?

Starting point is 00:18:20 But talk us through for the listeners and viewers just of what it's like to sit there is Dr. Jody Carrington. Hearing from your parents, this bombshell news, right? Like, yeah, you have another sibling. And oh, by the way, the sibling lives up the road, right? There are probably times that you were in the same room, the same building, the same, we call them grocery stores here, the same market, right? Like, probably hundreds, no exaggeration, probably hundreds of times you were in the same vicinity. Yeah. And then you get that news.

Starting point is 00:19:06 So walk us through the emotions that you had that moment. it's similar to what you just said i mean i was like you know dad said to us you know would you like to meet her and in my head i was like yeah like maybe you know next christmas or something like we just need some time and you know my brother he's crying he's nicer than i am and and you know he's like of course dad like i'd love to we'd love to meet her and he's like good well she's she's in the garage and i was like are you freaking kidding me right now and she always hates when i tell the story because she said i'm actually wasn't in the garage She was on her way in her car like 20 minutes away.

Starting point is 00:19:48 But I was like basically you were like a puppy. Like they were just waiting for you. And so I was like, you know, to your point, I was like just, whoa. 30 seconds ago, I was the oldest and the only daughter. Now I'm the middle kid. Like I am not. No, thank you. No.

Starting point is 00:20:05 Thank you. So it was. You go from being in charge to now you got to fight for attention in 30 seconds. I am not a fan. I am not a fan. And she's got a very big personality too, which is sad and lovely. But I like, we often say now, like if we grew up together, we'd kill each other. Like I, yeah, it's something.

Starting point is 00:20:26 It's something. So it's, you know what? I was most surprised actually, like as a adult. And I think I know this to be true. But like as an adult woman, how many childlike emotions came when I knew that she and mom were having lunch or that, you know, she knew something I didn't know, or, you know, does she get to come to Christmas now? And like, what do we do? Like, you know, all of those things. Like, I, I felt so often like it was such a juvenile response. Like, I would be crying and, like, hanging up on my mom.

Starting point is 00:21:00 I remember my aunt had to get on the phone one time where it was like, K, Joe, like, you, it's okay that your mom is spending time with her. I'm like, no, it's not. How come they went for lunch and nobody told me? You know, and I was like, Jesus. Lord, because I think that, you know, there's so much about it. And, you know, I know this to be true. You have to name it to tame it. And I think the secretiveness. And, you know, you say this is so unique. It's so funny. Once I wrote about it or talk about it, so many people say, I have a sibling I didn't know about. Oh my gosh, this happened to us. Or I know, you know, so many times, you know, just one generation ago, it was just so blasphemous to have a baby out of wedlock. And it happened so

Starting point is 00:21:42 often, right? And so the secrecy, the shame, the guilt, the things that, you know, so many people carried. And, you know, we had some time. I don't know that we ever addressed it fully, you know, never with my dad, I think as much as we needed to, but certainly with my mom. Like I said to them sometimes, I was like, do you ever think that carrying that secret for so long contributed to the breakdown in your marriage? And my mom was like, no. Hmm, okay, cool. There's something more, Jody. Do you want to know the real reason? I'm like, oh, okay, sure.

Starting point is 00:22:18 You know, like, so I think that sometimes, you know, and I said to her, and I think I asked my dad this too, like if she had never found us because she came to them. Because the rule in their 17-year-old bodies were, was that you never tell anybody and you never look for her. And so I said to mom, like, would you have told me? Like, let's say, like, on your deathbed or let's say, you know, I mean, at the birth of my child, would you have, no, never? And I could just see her be 17 in that moment being like, no, that was the rule. We did not. We were not. And I was like, wow.

Starting point is 00:22:58 Like, so all of their parents, both of my, you know, my dad's mom and dad and my mom's mom and dad both went to their grave not knowing. And we had a lot of time, like my mom and her mom were very close. And so she, they had a lot of time. the end of her life. They, you know, she was in the hospital and we had lots of time to sort of walk her home. And I just, I said to her, like, was there any moment where you just wanted to say to her, hey, mom, here's the thing, you know, that I want you to know about. And, you know, we don't, I don't know where she is because she hadn't found us yet. Um, but, you know, here's the, and she's like, never, never, never, I would have never considered it. And I'm like, okay,

Starting point is 00:23:33 well, that's, that's very clear. Got it. Wow. You know, it's just, it's so interesting to me about how, so sort of our, some of our beliefs live in the time in our bodies when it was embedded. And I know that as a psychologist, you know, oftentimes the question is, does it come back to your childhood? Does it always come back to your childhood? And the answer is yes, every time. It's where we're imprinted in terms of, you know, how we love and how we feel like we deserve to be loved and, you know, what that looks like.

Starting point is 00:24:04 And can you overcome those things? Oh, my goodness. Yes, I wouldn't do what I do if I didn't believe that to be true. but it often does take a reflective look at how those rules were set within our systems that then dictate how we show up in in our roles as parents or as partners. Yeah, it's wild. And, you know, as I sit here and I listen to this story, and for those that know me in the leadership space, you know, like Forbes and Fortune have kind of branded me as like the

Starting point is 00:24:33 voice and face of modern leadership. And one of my things is emotional intelligence, right? So EQ. And as I'm sitting there, I'm like, wow, Jody had to go through all five of the EQ values in like 20 minutes, right? So self-awareness, how do you make this not about you in that moment, right? Like how does Jody evolve or respond to this moment? The second one, self-regulation, how do you just not snap, right? And maybe you did, but you still had to explain.

Starting point is 00:25:07 experience it, then empathy, right? So now your sister arrives, how are you empathetic for what she may be going through as well, too, in this situation, right? Then you've got social skills. You've got to interact with someone, right, that is probably going to be just like you, right? Have the same feelings that you have, right? Have the same traits and habits that you have, but you don't know that. And then motivation, understanding what's the motivation now, right? I'm sure in my mind, that's going to be probably the first emotion that I'm having with my parents. Like, what's the motivation now? Right. Like, is there something that's about to happen when this person walks in the door from the garage? Right. Like, what's the motivation of this moment now? So,

Starting point is 00:25:55 I applaud you for probably at the time, or maybe you did because, you know, you went to school for this. You studied this. But being able to to have true. emotional intelligence around this moment. Hearing you tell the story, I hear, yeah, she's coming from an emotionally intelligent spot right now. I applaud you for that because you had to experience it all in a very short period of time. Well, I love that conceptualization. What I think is interesting in this world of leadership is, you know, even then, it's 15 years ago

Starting point is 00:26:31 that I had the capacity to sink into that. What I think is really underestimated in this world of leadership, or reconnecting in human relationship that is really getting in the way right now is we've never been this overwhelmed. So in order to do all the five things that are a part of EQQ, you need to be emotionally grounded.

Starting point is 00:26:54 Correct. You can't give away something you've never received, which is why EQ is a privilege. Yep. You can't give away something you never received. And so in this time of leadership, what I often hear people talk about. I mean,

Starting point is 00:27:08 you talk about this all the time, but people always want me to talk about burnout. And now they want me to use different words, like resilience. And like, it's all the same thing, okay? But we should be burnt out right now. My ability to lean into my sister

Starting point is 00:27:26 would have been so much harder today than it was 15 years ago for a few simple reasons, okay? In order to access empathy, emotional regulation, anything that requires me to be grounded in my own body means I need some stillness. I need some noiselessness. And if you think about what happens to those of us responsible for leading other people right now,

Starting point is 00:27:53 A, they've never had this much access to us. We're the first generation of leaders where we don't get a break. So when I get up in the morning, my phone is attached to me. Because, I mean, I'm a big deal. I mean, just like you. You know, you never know. There might be somebody wants to talk to you, okay? And it's so easily accessible, okay?

Starting point is 00:28:13 When my dad would come home from work, just imagine that. When my dad would come home from work one generation ago, nobody could get him. Can you imagine that? He was one of the most successful businessmen I've ever seen. At his funeral, the vast amount of people in all of the businesses that he built came. Do you know what else? I got to tell you the story, which is. is really interesting. Every, every girlfriend he had, one of the children came. So he built relationships

Starting point is 00:28:43 so beautifully in relationships that even he left. I was like, hey, who are you? Are you, do you? Wanda's daughter from 1983? Yeah. I just wanted to. I was like, I said to Curtis, check that. Look at that. There's another one. Now, I tell you that story because relationships, is the undermining thing of any piece in leadership. The idea is when I don't have access to my own self, because so many people have access to me, I lose access to the best parts of me. Not my capacity to be a great later.

Starting point is 00:29:21 I lose access to it. And that's the definition of burnout. You don't lose your ability to be great. You lose access to it. Let's never underestimate our ability to continue to serve and to show up for people. if we don't look after ourselves and this feels selfish we are not built for this rest is for us synonymous with lazy yeah it's what our dad's taught us many of us um which made sense to us

Starting point is 00:29:47 because we only we only had eight hours a day then to push through now um everybody has access to us all the time so our ability to sink in and be emotionally intelligent is the thing that I think we're going to have to work the hardest in this next generation. Totally agree. Totally agree. Dr. Jody, I could literally talk to you all day. This is amazing. Listen, any time.

Starting point is 00:30:12 You are amazing. You're the amazing one. I promise you that. But I don't want to end the conversation without you giving a couple of tips to our viewers and listeners directly to the person that's listening or watching right now that feels unseen. because if there is one and I don't everybody that knows me knows I don't throw the the term expert guru or legend around but if there is one of those if there is an unseen guru if there is someone that is an expert at understanding and helping people be seen it is you so for that viewer listener right now that's like I feel a little unseen whether that's in the work environment in their personal life in a relationship like what's a couple of words of wisdom that

Starting point is 00:31:06 you want to give that person all right there's three things that i think matter the most in order to show up for the people we love and it all starts with us so you have to go in first i need to get back to the best parts of you first and how you do that really easy is you do this with me real quick drop your shoulders drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth wiggle your toes and let your gut up that's a relaxed body that is indicating to your neurophysiology that you are safe and we spend very little time here we are worried about our babies and our parents and our jobs and our podcasts and all the things are we making an impact are we too much are we not enough and that causes our body to slam our tongue to the roof of our mouth and puts

Starting point is 00:31:55 our shoulders up which would indicate historically that we're in danger okay when you live in a marginalized body this happens anyway because the truth is it is more dangerous than it is for many people so being able to do this on purpose is going to be one of the greatest interventions and gifts you can give yourself if you are indeed safe you need to remind your body of that because there's so much information that would suggest our beeping of our eye watch or our apple watches the notifications on our computer indicate to our and our tongues are at the roof of our mouth for the vast majority of the day okay So drop it. When you get to that place, then you give it away like it's free because it is. So I want you to wave at your neighbor. I want you to wink at the kid at the 7-Eleven. I want you to give somebody a compliment and watch the magic unfold. Then you put it on repeat because just when you think you're relaxed,

Starting point is 00:32:56 you're going to check in with your shoulders again and they'll be like hanging around your ears. So you go in, then you go out, and you put it on repeat. I'm borrowing that. It's all yours. I am totally borrowing that. I have a keynote in a couple of days. And I think that's how I'm going to open the keynote. And you know, my favorite I need everybody relax when I come on stage. Yes. And again, right? Like I think It's like, you know, you know this as a speaker, right? Like, you know, humor is important. This, it is the most vulnerable emotion on the planet is joy.

Starting point is 00:33:38 And so when I can get people laughing, I am funny. And so are you. And it is, that is the greatest trick of being a good speaker because you need to get people back in a place where they can, their prefrontal cortex is on so they can take in the information. Okay. Yeah. Funny, joy is a place to do that.

Starting point is 00:33:55 And often, I get them to drop their shoulders at the end because what will happen is they'll get tired. When you tell your body it's safe, it just wants to sleep because we're all over tired. Right. We lay in bed at night like this. And so when you tell them to drop their shoulders, they start to yawn. And so I often open with humor and be silly and like try to get them engaged and, you know, do these things about like, you know, you're not that good. Like give it up.

Starting point is 00:34:23 And it's not a criticism. It's a liberation. We are here. You're not that good. You're not going to undo multiple generations of abuse, neglect, and trauma. You're not that good. Okay? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:34 Give it up. You our only job is to do the next best, right kind thing. Dr. Jody, I love you. I love you. You got to tell you that. Thank you. You were freaking amazing. I didn't need to tell you're amazing.

Starting point is 00:34:48 You knew that. But just the human that you are, the way that you embody connection, the way that you embody being. present. I think that is your superpower. You are, I know a lot of people. I know a lot of famous people. You are probably top three of the most present people, the most present spirit. This is, this is the best interview of my life. I want to be back every week. We can probably make that happen. We can probably make that happen. I needed those words today. Thank you for those. No, no. And I mean that from the bottom of my soul and the bottom of my spirit.

Starting point is 00:35:33 And what's crazy for the viewers and listeners is there's 10 other conversations that I need to have with Dr. Jody. But I wanted everyone to not know her story because she's more than a story, but to see and hear her brilliance on air or on video is truly remarkable. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And for all the viewers and listeners, remember your because is your superpower.

Starting point is 00:36:05 Go unleash it. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mick Unplugged. If today hits you hard, then imagine what's next. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and share this with someone who needs it. And most of all, make a plan and take action. Because the next level is already waiting for you. Have a question or insight to share? Send us an email to hello at mickunplugged.com.

Starting point is 00:36:34 Until next time, ask yourself how you can step up.

Mick Unplugged - Dr Jody Carrington: Breaking the Loneliness Epidemic-The Power of Being Seen & Heard

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