Mick Unplugged - Pasha Palanker: Facing Fear, Building Strength, and Leaving a Legacy of Impact

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, everybody, really excited for this very special episode with my dear friend Pasha Pallonker. If you want to know the mindset that's needed post-military, post-service, this is the episode for you. Pasha's going to go through his story, the moment where he had to make a split-second decision to save combat life. You're going to want to hear that story. We're also going to talk about some misconceptions. We're going to go through the things that he's doing now. And then in the quick five, we're going to understand where does he feel the most alive? This episode, I promise, it's going to change your life.

Starting point is 00:00:39 Please join me and welcoming one of my closest friends, Mr. Pasha, Palanka, Pasha. How are you doing today, brother? I'm doing great, brother. Thanks for that amazing intro. I'm honored and grateful to be here with you. Dude, like, you know us. We talk all the time, but it all goes back to, what, November of last year. we meet at one of the Robert Irvine Foundation's events,

Starting point is 00:01:01 their year in Beats and Eats. I think our bond became bourbon, right? Aside from Robert from the team, we were sitting there, having a bourbon together, talking about life. And then I found out all the crazy, cool things that you have done, not only just in life, but what you do for others and what your life history has been.

Starting point is 00:01:24 And that bond will never be broken. man. So, so one, just thank you for that moment. Thank you for the moments that you've continued to share with me. And we'll talk about some of those later. But, man, just, just thank you for who you are, Pasha. I appreciate it. That means a lot to me coming from you. I think that the bond was Bourbon and it's also authentic human-to-human connection with a similar passion and purpose. I think that's really what, bourbon was an easy conversation Tucker. Absolutely. Absolutely. Pasha, I mean, we know each other. But one thing I've always waited to ask you, although we've kind of handed on it a little bit, is your because, right? Like,

Starting point is 00:02:08 you know, that moment, those moments that keep you driven, those things that keep you doing the things that you do for others. What's your because, bro? Well, you know, the, simple answer is my family right my my wife and in my four boys that's that's that's what everybody's going to come up with but uh but going down deeper level it's it's i found that i found my because through struggling having been haven't been in very deep dark moments all along by myself and finding way out and then being able to help guide others out of that place i found a lot of mean in my life and that has become my because

Starting point is 00:02:58 I love that and speaking of your family I got to meet them in April right so a very special moment was had in April at another Robert Irrown Foundation event you received

Starting point is 00:03:14 finally your Bronze Star Valor and I never seen a room of 500 people so emotionally connected at one time. Walk us through that moment, and then we're going to talk about what you did to accomplish that star, to receive that start. Okay. Well, you know, that room and that, in that award, one does not exist without the other. It took 20 years for that award upgrade

Starting point is 00:03:47 to happen, because I never looked for it. But as part of my, that moment where I earned that bronze star for valor has been a huge part of my journey and when I go and I speak to to audiences I share that story and people would ask me about about if I received it in a work right now tell them and they're like really that's that's all you got and and that's what led to people asking me to look into upgrading and then somebody started the paperwork process and there was a lot of People in that room were involved in that. And I think that's why everyone, a lot of people there were connected because they, either they've heard my story or they've been a part of that process.

Starting point is 00:04:33 And there were some amazing people in that room to include yourself. And then, you know, the power that Robert has, the influence that he has and to bring people together. Man, I'm telling you, that moment, man. Like, one, there wasn't a dry eye in the room, but to hear Robert and to, hear CZ talk about you the way that they did, man. Like, it, it was so heartfelt that I think the viewers and listeners need to understand that journey a little bit deeper. So, so walk us through special ops and special missions and some of the things that

Starting point is 00:05:07 you've done for our country, brother. Well, you know, I'll just share, I'll just share that moment in why I received that award. So I was a gunner in my, in my vehicle. when a vehicle driven by a suicide bomber was attempting to ram into us. And at a closest point, he was just two, three feet away from me. And I had this moment where the only option I had was pick up my rifle, lean over the protective plates that are around me,

Starting point is 00:05:43 and engage in that way. And in that moment, the rational part of my brain, Oh, that's a terrible idea because I knew what was about to happen. And I was like, I should just drop down and then if we survive, we survive. But then I felt this anger like anything I've ever experienced, like something like primordial, like something shifted inside of me. And that anger drove me to pick up my rifle, lean over and engage him straight into the vehicle. I was able to hit him a few times, which bought us just, just a few extra seconds.

Starting point is 00:06:17 we were able to pass him and then he was remotely detonated that vehicle was remotely detonated by there was another group of terrorists that was recorded that recorded the whole incident on video and you know that was it that was 30 seconds but the other part of that journey is that that anger that saved my life that day it's slowly destroyed my life started to destroy my life a decade later I could not turn it off. I could not, I could not control it. And while it was young and single, it was not a big deal. There's a couple of cool stories, road rage or, you know, altercations. But once I got married and I started to have kids, you know, the kids will do kid stuff and, you know, break a glass

Starting point is 00:07:08 or spill milk. And I would react like I was right back there with a suicide bomber. And that was the cause of my downward spiral to where, you know, I ended up in a very dark place. And we can talk about that more if you want to. But I'll stop. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, you and I've had these conversations, but I do think for the viewers and listeners to understand, not necessarily the spiral, because you fight every day to overcome that. And that's one of the things that I applaud you for. But I do think it's important for the viewers and listeners to understand. how to recognize that in people and the support

Starting point is 00:07:48 that they need, man. Like, when you were going through it at the deepest and darkest times, what were the things that you needed, that you know now that you were needing that? Love. You know, love.

Starting point is 00:08:06 When you're in that place, when I was in that place, I'll just talk about myself. I felt like I could not be the father. to my kids that I wanted to be. I could not be the husband to my wife. I was so angry.

Starting point is 00:08:23 And also, I felt a ton of guilt. The anger kept me away from my family. I was at home, but I was in this room while they were out and doing, you know, family stuff. And I didn't want to be around them because I was afraid of these angry outbursts. But I felt guilty that I wasn't around them. and and I started to feel a ton of like the suffocating pressure. It felt like 245 pound plates on my chest. And, you know, the only thing that would relieve that pressure is numbing that pain through

Starting point is 00:08:58 alcohol or through some some other distracting things. And every day my life got just a little bit worse. And then on top of that, I was told that I have to medically retire out of the Army. So I was losing my identity as a soldier and that, you know, put more weight on me. And I was slowly being crushed by that weight and by the world. And eventually my mind started to go numb and I just stopped caring about consequences. And I arrived at a place where suicide was just, it was just logical. I felt like they're better off without me.

Starting point is 00:09:34 I'll find peace and relief. And that's a place. That's a place that a lot of us don't come out of. And, but the one thing that would make me or anybody else feel better is, you know, a hand on the shoulder, a hug. Because some words of love, not somebody telling me you should do this and this and this. That's terrible. Right. Right.

Starting point is 00:10:01 That makes it worse. If you're wrong on what you're suggesting to me, that makes me feel like you have no idea what I'm dealing with. And it pushes me even further into isolation. but it's just somebody just being present there with me that that's that's the best way to help somebody who's struggling like like i did wow and for the person that's listening or watching that feels like they're in that moment right now right what's some advice you have for them um to to go seek that love or to to know that there is something coming on the other side that's better Well, I'll tell you what happened with me is, as same thing as it was, I found enough strength to drive myself to an emergency room at Walter Reed, where I got admitted to the psych word, and I spent time in the psychiatric word, which was not pleasant, but it took away all of the stimulation that was crushing me, and I got a little bit of clarity.

Starting point is 00:11:07 And while I was there, I realized that I was a victim. You know, I got terrible care through the military channels. I got terrible care from the VA. And it's very easy to feel like as a soldier that they should take care of me, right? When it wasn't happening, I became a victim. And when you're a victim, you don't see the solutions. You just see the problems. and you have no control over the situation.

Starting point is 00:11:39 So while I was at the psych word, I decided that I was responsible. I raised my hand to volunteer, to serve in the military. I raised my hands to join the special operations community. And I decided that it's my responsibility and I need to figure it out. And this is when, once that happened,

Starting point is 00:11:59 I stopped blaming people and I started to look for answers. I started to listen to podcasts just like yours. I started to read books and I started to learn about what's going on inside of me. And then I, in Jordan Peterson's book, 12 Rules for Life, was very helpful to me. There was two books, Ryan Hollidays, The Obstacle is the Way, made me look at my situation like, this is my opportunity for growth. And then Jordan Peterson's book just helped me figure out how to start the process, which I started with one simple thing that I would show up for myself. And it was, it was, I would write in the journal, you know, it was like, this is, I didn't even know what the purpose was. It was today's the day and I did it. And it was just the small act. And then it just made me feel a little better. And then it led to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And five years later, I'm a different person.

Starting point is 00:12:56 I love that, my man. I love that. And what I heard from you, Pasha, and again, you and I've talked about this, but it's okay. to seek help right actually that's what we should be doing and it doesn't matter your age your gender anything right you don't have to be superman superwoman 24-7 it's okay to to not be okay and seek help for yeah yeah especially if you've been if you've been through trauma it doesn't have to be combat trauma we all deal with something it's it's it's more than okay to seek but help but boy it's hard it's one of the most difficult things that i had to do and uh it takes it takes a ton of strength it takes a ton of strength and and that's how you should see it seeking help is is you're showing the world that you have strength to to to show up for yourself to to it's like

Starting point is 00:13:58 i need you to help me that that takes strength and that's that's what i received back once i started speaking out about this stuff the thousands of people have have told me is like have have expressed to me how much courage and strength this shows where you think it's the opposite when you're in uh in that lonely place and afraid to ask for help yeah yeah man i again i admire you for for all that you do and you've turned this into now you're your your help people all over the world, right? Like you're a huge advocate of mental health. You're a huge advocate of just having special missions in life. When did that become a thing for you? When did you say, okay, I'm overcoming. Now it's my purpose to help others. Well, it happened very naturally.

Starting point is 00:14:55 I never thought I would be speaking publicly about my struggles. That was the last thing that I thought I would be in this world. The way it happened for me is, once I started to feel better, having been in that dark place, I noticed I could sense when somebody else is struggling. And I would help a teammate. And then another guy. And then one of the guys invited me to speak to in front of a veteran nonprofit where I helped a group of people. And that caused that chain reaction that opened this whole new world to me to where I meet amazing people like yourself. And it happened naturally over the past five years. And I'm really excited to see where it goes next. I love that, dude. I love that. So let's take a moment and talk about

Starting point is 00:15:48 the relationship with Robert Irvine and the foundation. So how did that occur? And we'll go through like some of the things that you're continuing to do with the foundation. But what was the first moment? When was the first contact? My first contact with them. Obviously, I knew, he was, but my first contact with him was in Scotland doing the Kettering Yump, which is a 54-mile race through the Scottish Highlands. And I was just, I was supposed to be there with CZ. And last minute, CZ had to cancel, so I went by myself. I didn't really know anybody. So I was just running the yump by myself when I ran into Robert and his scene. And I just introduced myself and you know how easy Robert is to talk to and you don't be anybody special and when you're walking for for 50 something

Starting point is 00:16:39 miles running there's plenty of time to talk so we just had a natural conversation and uh you know I shared a little bit about my journey and my desire to help and impact others which obviously that's all that he does we talked about CZ and then you know that was kind of it and and I haven't I didn't think I would run into him again until CZ's retirement. I didn't even know that they were friends. And then when CZ was retiring, I came to his retirement and Robert was there and we had a great conversation about the Yump. And then as if it was meant to be, I was like, hey, what do you?

Starting point is 00:17:17 I'm just curious, what's next for you. He's like, oh, I'm hosting this Veterans Day parade in Philadelphia live on TV. And I was like, that's funny because I'm jumping in into Independence Hall with a huge American flag to kick off that parade. So naturally, our world just became intertwined and I kept running into Robert and kept meeting amazing people around him. Yeah, great dude, great story. I tell him all the time. Roberts never met a stranger. For someone with such celebrity status, he literally is the everyday man. And I think that's one of the things I appreciate. you know he's going to call you by your first name he's going to make you and embrace you

Starting point is 00:18:04 like you're the greatest person on earth that day and he genuinely means it and fills that and then he'll also call you out the bond you about and you I know absolutely in a very in a very encouraging way that will make you better that yeah oh absolutely absolutely he's definitely he's definitely the accountability partner that you want because he's going to give it to you straight, but then also, like you said, encourage you, push, you, motivate you, and believe in you. And I think, you know, that's a great trait of robber. And it's also something that you have, man, because you motivate and hold me accountable as well. And I think that's why we are as close as we are, man. And I was so honored earlier this year at one of my events to have you. You talked

Starting point is 00:18:50 about parachuting in with the flag. To have you do that at one of my events was literally the highlight of that event. If anyone talks about anything at my June lead loud event, it is the moment that Pasha came in. And I was so honored. And, you know, the technical difficulties we had with weather from a timing perspective, you know, you had an award for Robert coming in. But that moment was so beautiful in the videos that we have of that, like I'm always going to remember. I'm so grateful you invited me to do that. That was special. I know I think those difficulties made it extra special. But man, there's something powerful seeing a star-spangled banner that large.

Starting point is 00:19:36 I can't land at your event. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So when did that become something that you became passionate about doing? Not just the parachute jumping, but again, I think when people see it, especially the first time you see it, and you see the flash. and the patriotism that's going along with it.

Starting point is 00:19:59 Like, when did you know that that was something you wanted to do for others? Well, this is also something that happened naturally. I attended this Warrior Weekend to remember, which was hosted by the parachute team. I was not on the team. And that's when I learned about what the team does, what Fast Tracks does. And it was a very natural fit. I was a free fall instructor in the Army. And I loved Jump.

Starting point is 00:20:25 Jumping was one of my co-operations. mechanisms because when you're when you're falling out of a plane you forget about your struggles you know you're just there and uh once i got retired from the army i found out about the team i tried out for the team and the team is just filled with amazing people that love this nation and we get to jump in into some some some high profile events honoring our nation honoring our heroes it it was it it was an instant instant moment What I was missing is the skill to be able to fly a flag that big into a stadium or into a small space like Independence Hall.

Starting point is 00:21:05 So it took some time for me to get up on that level. But it's been a few years and I find a ton of meaning in those jumps. Wow. And they're so special. I mean, they're heartfelt. They have purpose. And like I said, the patriotism that you just feel. immediately, right? It's second to none. I mean, so much so that all of my friends that were there,

Starting point is 00:21:32 I think half of them reached out because they also do events or special deals. And they're like, we need Pasha to come do that for us. And I'm like, dude, it's going to change your life when you see it for sure. For sure. So I want to go into, you know, some of the things you're doing now, you know, another friend that we have, very close friend to you, accountable. partner to me, Chef Andre Rush, right? I remember when I had him on the podcast or he was coming on and you were like,

Starting point is 00:22:05 dude, that's like, that's my buddy right there. That's my brother. And so I messaged him and he's like, how come the three of us have never talked together for the like ever as much as much as we talk. But you have that special thing,

Starting point is 00:22:18 Pasha, about connecting with people and making it genuine, right? Like how do you, not how do you do it, but why is that important? You know, I think in a way I've been blessed to there's something that I was born with to where I'm genuinely curious about people, just the human-to-human connection.

Starting point is 00:22:41 But I also think the struggles that I went through, I had to go so deep inside of myself and I had to learn about myself in order to come out of that. that now I'm genuinely curious about other people and how to how to connect to people at that level. And Chef Rush, he's another guy that's so, he's so a big personality, big in general, but almost no ego. So easy to talk to.

Starting point is 00:23:16 And with him being a retired Army Master Sergeant like myself, just attending veteran events, working together to influence, empower veterans, that was natural. So it's, in ways it's also, it's easy to be authentic with authentic people. Yeah, totally agree. Totally agree. Pasha, you know, again, knowing you, having conversations, one of the traits that I love about you and that I actually study from you, and you don't even know this, but I study from you, is your mindset.

Starting point is 00:23:51 you have not just a sharp mind, but one of the most mentally tough clarity and decision making, you have such a strong mindset that I want the viewers and listeners to take away a few things from you. So I'll ask you a couple of questions, right? So in your missions, you know,

Starting point is 00:24:12 in the military and the things that you're doing now, you know, you've told me decisions are made in seconds, right? Like you just told us the story of 20 years ago, like you had to make a decision in seconds. How do you train your mind for clarity when you're under pressure? Man, that's a tough question. It comes down to, it comes down to knowing yourself. You know, one, there's, you got to be really good at what you're doing.

Starting point is 00:24:42 So a ton of just like in sports, you know, or in war, you know, it's better to bleed in training so you don't bleed in war. so it's a ton of training beforehand and then a ton of time with yourself so that when that moment comes and you have a split decision to make it's your instincts combined with a trust in yourself and sometimes you make a wrong decision you know it just happens the worst thing you can do is though is freeze and and not do anything uh i think that applies to every aspect of life Mm, that's deep, bro. And then the second question on mindset is what role does fear?

Starting point is 00:25:29 And people like to talk about fear like it doesn't exist, but like fear does exist, right? It might not be a comment. It might not be every day, but there are moments, right? Like, I don't know anyone in the world that I've talked to that hasn't had a moment of fear, right? What role does fear play in building like an elite mind? Well, fear is a great motivator. Fear is, it's fear of letting other people down when you're in the military. If I don't carry my weight, if I make a mistake, it can cost my teammate his life.

Starting point is 00:26:05 Fear of letting your family down. Well, it depends on what's important to you, but fear is a motivator. Either letting somebody else down, letting yourself down. You know, for us, failure is. is sometimes it leads to a life or death situation. So that's where fear is intramental. But it's also as simple as if I'm late to information, then there's 30 other guys that are going to be doing push-ups until I show up.

Starting point is 00:26:35 So there's just fear of everybody, 30 guys hating you. And then you're being on the wrong end of that. Fear is a motivator. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And then for veterans, specifically to veterans that are struggling with identity like after service, what's the first mindset shift that you've realized with yourself that they need to make in order to have a successful transition post service? you have to you have to almost give up your life of service that uniform once it's off it's off that military moves on pretty quickly it's still nobody will ever take that away from you but you have to start finding something new new hobbies new mission new focus they can be connected

Starting point is 00:27:41 for me for example the fact that i still jump it it's a connection to my military service. I started training Jiu-Jitsu when I was 41 years old. But that physical challenge, that adrenaline that comes with Jiu-Jitsu matches, that's still a connection to the military, but it's not the military anymore. So you have to find it's your job to find something new and meaningful and challenging in your life. You can't hold on to the

Starting point is 00:28:11 life that's behind you. And I'm going to let all the viewers and listeners know. You don't want to mess with Pasha and Jiu-Jitsu. This dude is a trained assassin. So do you take it easy on your coach, man? Well, my coach is one of the best in the nation. So I definitely, I hold my own. Of course.

Starting point is 00:28:33 I hold my own. But, I mean, I've only been doing it for a few years. But I like giving higher belts a run for their money. just personally, you know. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah. And it helps them.

Starting point is 00:28:48 I know your mindset, though. Yeah. You like to give them a run for their buddy all right. Yeah. For those that don't know Pasha, Pasha is that guy that's like the quiet guy that you don't want to mess with, right? And you just know by looking at Pasha that that too he is, right?

Starting point is 00:29:07 He's just the quiet guy. but it's like push a button old posture will return every once in a while right like you don't you don't want them to come out but every once in a while it's like you got to prove that he's still there man i love that brother i love that i love yeah well when it's play it's play right when it's play it's play but if it if it's a real life situation you know that's a that's a different conversation but i think that's how most guys are like the the louder you are the less people should be afraid of you. It's just like a chihuahua barking. My friends say that about me all the time in the business world. They're like, you know, Mick, you don't talk about the things you're

Starting point is 00:29:48 doing. And I'm like, nah, I was taught to move in silence, right? Like, when you let everybody know what's going on, you're never going to get there because they're going to put obstacles in. Even the people that you think are on your side are the ones that start to put obstacles in or the ones that don't believe in you like you think that they should. So I learned at a very young age, move in silence, never be the loudest person in the room and always observe what's going on because things will just naturally reveal themselves to you. And I know that you and I are like that. That's why we share the bourbon. Everybody else was being loud in the corner or out front. You and I were sitting in the back corner sipping bourbon. Yeah. And that's so true about you because

Starting point is 00:30:29 when we talked, we connected, I didn't know anything about you. I didn't know you have, depending on the day, sometimes the number one podcast in the world. I didn't know any of this about you. You're not just saying this for the camera. This is until I showed up at your event for the jump and then seeing the people that were there. I was like, man, this guy's unbelievable. And you let your actions speak louder,

Starting point is 00:30:53 louder than your words. And I love that. I think that's also another reason why we have so strong connection. Amen to that, brother. Amen to that. But we're so much alike. We're so much alike. and I know how busy your days are

Starting point is 00:31:09 and how time is so important to you. So I just feel honored that you spent some time with us today. But I've got to get you out of here on my quick five. Rapid Fire five questions. You ready? Let's do it. All right. So I've seen you eat, Pasha, but we're going to tell the world.

Starting point is 00:31:26 What's your go-to cheat meal? Cheat meal. Probably a tomahawk. steak. I knew you were going to say that. Yeah. Yeah. Especially with my kids

Starting point is 00:31:42 are around. And you don't share either, just throwing that hot picture. Yeah. I have this great picture with Chef Rush when each of us holding a tomahawk state and eating it,

Starting point is 00:31:52 taking a bite out of it. Yeah. Yeah. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. All right. Mountains, beach, or battlefield?

Starting point is 00:32:01 Where do you feel the most alive? I probably feel most alive and present on the beach and to me it's more it's it's it's it's the beach and the sunset at the end of the day it's that's when I'm the most present I love it I love it what's one book that every aspiring leader must read I especially if you're starting out as 12 rules for life by Jordan Peterson you can't lead others if you can't lead others if you can't yourself. That's been my journey. I figured how to lead myself and then slowly that influence started to spread outside and that's how I'm talking here to you. Love it. I love it. Do you have one phrase or mantra that you repeat to yourself on a daily or weekly basis? Not daily. It depends on what I'm going through. If I'm going through something challenging, it's one step at a time. one step at a time has been and then it's it's you don't have to solve everything in one day but you just make yourself just a little bit better today than you were yesterday that's it it's about

Starting point is 00:33:12 the journey not the destination i love that brother i love that and then last one when the legacy of pasha is being written what are some of the words you want to be said in that legacy My life was meaningful that I made a positive impact on people around me and people that I don't even know. And that through my journey, people know that even the biggest and darkest, the worst moments can be overcome. Wow. Dude, we have to end on that one, man. Like, that was, that's you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:57 That literally is you. Like I can tell you personally that that story has already been fulfilled, bro, because, you know, I tell you, I told you before we started recording, like, every one of my family talks about Pasha, like, coming downstairs to record. My wife is like, tell Pasha, I said hello. That's the impact that you've had on my family and in my close circle of friends. So that legacy is already living. Yeah, appreciate it. That means a lot to me coming from you. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well, Pasha, where can people find and follow you, my man?

Starting point is 00:34:32 LinkedIn, LinkedIn, and Instagram, Pasha Palinger, there's only one of me on there. And then, you know, I don't have any books to sell or coaching programs or anything, but I love talking to people. And, you know, I'm part of this amazing speaker agency called Liberty Speaks. I'll send you the link. And that's where people can find me on there. And I will tell you, one, we're going to have. the link in the descriptions and show notes. But I also want people reach out to Pasha. If you want someone at your event that's going to be authentic,

Starting point is 00:35:09 that's going to be real, and that's going to touch your audience, Pasha is that person. So definitely make sure you're reaching out to him for engagements. His schedule's busy, so you probably want to reach out now to get him booked because he's every day, he's in a different place. So Pasha, again, brother, appreciate you so much. Thank you for the time and to the viewers and listeners. Remember, your because is your superpower.

Starting point is 00:35:33 Go Unleason. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mick Unplugged. If today hits you hard, then imagine what's next. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and share this with someone who needs it. And most of all, make a plan and take action. Because the next level is already waiting for you. Have a question or insight to share? share send us an email to hello at mickunplugged.com until next time ask yourself how you can step up

Mick Unplugged - Pasha Palanker: Facing Fear, Building Strength, and Leaving a Legacy of Impact

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