Mick Unplugged - Sergeant Major Gretchen Evans: A Veteran's Story of Resilience and Hope

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Welcome back to another compelling episode of Mick Unplugged. Today, we have the honor and privilege of hosting an exceptional guest, Sergeant Major Gretchen Evans, a decorated U.S. veteran with over ...27 years of service. Known for her incredible resilience and inspiring journey, Sergeant Major Evans has transformed the trauma and challenges she faced in combat into a powerful mission of hope and advocacy for veterans. In this episode, we dive deep into her story of overcoming life-altering injuries, finding purpose beyond adversity, and her unwavering commitment to giving back. From her military career to her work as a motivational speaker and leader of Team Unbroken, Sergeant Major Evans' insights on resilience, grit, and living a life in service of others will leave you inspired and motivated. So sit back, relax, and get ready to be moved by the extraordinary tale of Sergeant Major Gretchen Evans.TakeawaysAcknowledge and process pain and trauma before moving forwardEmbrace failure as a stepping stone to successForm a supportive community and help othersLive a life without regrets and pursue your purposeSound Bites"I had a couple of days of the whimy and a little bit of a pity party""I'm not gonna let what happened to me define who I am""Failure is not the end of the story. Failure is just another chapter in the book"Connect and Discover: ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I think there's this big misconception that when you go through challenges, when you face adversity, your immediate response should be to attack it. I would love for you to go a little bit deeper into that. Doing what's happened to your heart and to your soul, that takes real courage and that takes real work and that's where the challenges come in, I believe. What's some advice that you have for those people? Feel like I'm stuck in a job or I feel like all I have are consecutive bad days. Failure is not the end of the story. Failure is just another chapter in the book. We're all going to fail at something, right?
Starting point is 00:00:34 There's another chapter there. And so I always tell everybody, if you can just embrace that fear of failure and say that doesn't define you, that's a moment in time and move forward and try to live your best life. It's scary to be out there. It's easy to sit back and get up and do, you know, the status quo. What gets you through the day? Welcome to McUnplugged, where we ignite potential and fuel purpose. Get ready for raw insights, bold moves, and game-changing conversations. Buckle up. Here's Mick.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged. And today, we have an extraordinary guest. We're talking about a decorated U.S. veteran with a career spanning over 27 years. Known for her incredible resilience and dedication, she's served in various leadership roles and experiences challenges of combat with remarkable strength and courage. Despite facing life-changing injuries, she's contributed to inspire and empower others through her work as a motivational speaker and advocate for veterans. Please join me in welcoming the brave, the resilient, the inspiring, the amazing Sergeant Major Gretchen Evans. Sergeant Major Evans, how are you? Just so delighted and happy to be here. Thank you for the wonderful introduction. You know,
Starting point is 00:02:04 life has been good to me in spite of some trauma and tragedy and loss along the way. So I'm just delighted to share my story about overcoming obstacles and resilience and grit and gumption, and most importantly, about hope and about giving back. That's amazing. And that's one of the things that I admire about you. And we're going to let the listeners and viewers hear and see your story. You know, at Make, it's amazing, it's inspiring, but it's because you had a because, you had a purpose, you had a reason, and you had that resiliency. So Sergeant Major, the floor is yours, the air is yours to come in and let's hear that journey and those obstacles that you've had to overcome. So for me, you know, like most people who endure a life altering, you know, injury or
Starting point is 00:03:07 illness or some sort of trauma, you know, initially the rug's been pulled out from underneath you. And, you know, especially if it's totally unexpected, like for me, you know, 27 years, it was living the life that I wanted to live. I was serving my country. I loved being with my soldiers. I had been a soldier my whole adult life. I went in the military at 19. I was wounded at 46. So I basically grew up in the military environment. And on that day when I was injured and once I was woken up from the coma that they had me into evaluate my injuries and was notified immediately that my career was over. And so, you know, I'd like to be able to say, well, I rebound and rally immediately, but that's not a true story. You know, I had a couple of days of the why me and
Starting point is 00:03:59 a little bit of a, you know, certainly a pity party and had to reevaluate who I was because I was no longer a soldier and what I was going to do with my life with these injuries that seemed overwhelming to me. And so even it was not pretty in the beginning. And I think that's okay because I think when you're down on your knees and once you can allow yourself to look up and look out for those hands that are reaching out for you and accept the help that you not only need, but that also gives other people the opportunity to share their gifts and their wine because they're in the business of helping others, then that's when the tide begins to turn. And so, you know, I was brought up off my knees by other people.
Starting point is 00:04:55 And so when I got to the point in my life where I could give back and pay it forward, that's the role I wanted to be in. I wanted to be the one reaching down to help the people who've been kicked to the curve somehow in life. And I think, you know, we all get kicked to the curb. I don't think anybody dodges that bullet. And so I worked hard to figure out where I needed to be, how I needed to be, and how I could be the most help to the most people who are in this situation. That's amazing. And I want to unpack a couple of things, starting with, you know, you said that you did go through the pity party and the why me. And I think it's
Starting point is 00:05:31 important that people understand that because I think there's this big misconception that when you go through challenges, when you face adversity, your immediate response should be to attack it. It's okay to have self-reflection. It's okay to say, I'm beat up right now. It's okay to say, I need to cry. Like, I would love for you to go a little bit deeper into that. And also, if you agree, that's what's needed, right? Like, you do need to have that moment of, let me get it out. Yes, you have to acknowledge the loss and the pain and the trauma and the tragedy. Otherwise, you know, you really can't help others because that's where your strength comes from is the being able to be empathetic
Starting point is 00:06:13 and sympathetic with people who've had similar things happen to them. If you act like it wasn't a big deal, then I don't think that you learn those skills that you need to be able to help people to really deal with the trauma. It's more about just getting well. Okay. It's, you know, physically, it's really the hardest part is putting your emotion and your mental, you know, psyche back together. The physical part is challenging it as it is. You know, there's, you know, cast and there's stitches and there's all kinds of things
Starting point is 00:06:45 to kind of put you back together physically. But doing what's happened to your heart and to your soul, that takes real courage and that takes real work. And that's where the challenges come in, I believe. No, wholeheartedly agree. And so you had that moment where it was why me? And what was it that know, trying to find this new normal and, you know, and almost feeling unworthy. And I was had survivor's guilt, all those things that come with having a trauma. And then I was out running one day. I'm always been a big runner. And because I'm deaf, I was running against traffic. And a guy on a bicycle was behind me on the sidewalk. And he yelled out to me passing you on your left, but I never heard that because I'm deaf. You know, it's an invisible injury. He didn't know that I
Starting point is 00:07:50 was deaf, but as he was approaching, getting really close to me and he was kind of speeding up to go around me, I kind of felt him back there. And so I stepped to the left because traffic was on my right. He hit me and threw me into traffic. And a man in a black Mercedes and think, you know, thank God he wasn't texting or he was paying attention because, you know, he could have killed me, slams on his brake. And I remember smelling the burned rubber and looking up and being able to read the license plate. I was almost under his car. And so when the ambulance came to pick me up, because I had a broken clavicle and road rash and all kinds of things, and took me to the VA hospital. And the doctor came in after they patched me all up and he got my face and he
Starting point is 00:08:35 pointed his finger at me and he says, Gretchen, you can't do the things that you used to do, the things that you love because you've changed. And that was the, the illumination round that went off in my head and my heart. And it says, no, I want my life back. And so then I said, I'm not going to let what happened to me define who I am or what I can accomplish. And that was the big turning point. And I walked out of that hospital, you know, all beat up and whatever with a whole different view of saying, I'm not going to let that rocket blast take anything else from me. It took my hearing, you know, caused a brain injury, caused some PTSD and lots of physical things, that rocket blast. But what it didn't take for me was my
Starting point is 00:09:25 grit and my gumption and my, you know, resilience and my hope. And so that was the day that I decided I'm turning the ship around and I'm going to figure this out. That's awesome. And I know that there are listeners and viewers right now that are in that place, right? Whether it's, you know, I feel like I'm stuck in a job or I feel like I'm not worthy in a relationship or, you know, I feel like all I have are consecutive bad days. What's some advice that you have for those people today? Yeah, I think you're exactly right. You know, people, you get stuck, okay, and you learn to kind of think this is as good as it's going to get. And, you know, you're almost afraid to take that step.
Starting point is 00:10:14 And, you know, because everybody's always afraid of failure. And, you know, there's all these statistics out there about all the shots that Michael Jordan took and didn't hit and all the these elite athletes and these incredibly smart people, you know, all these failures, and yet they didn't let that stop them from living their dream. And so I always say, I try not to live my life with a fear of failure. What I try to do is live my life with a fear of regret that I would, I don't want to regret that I wished I had done something different simply because I was afraid. And you know, failure is not the end of the story. Failure is just as just another chapter in the book. You're all going to fail at something, right? There's another chapter there. And so I always tell everybody, if you can just embrace that fear of failure and say
Starting point is 00:11:06 that doesn't define you, that's a moment in time and move forward and try to live your best life. It's scary to be out there. It's easy to sit back and get up and do, you know, the status quo, what gets you through the day. And I understand people got to put bread on the table. And I know people got families to support and living your dream can be scary for you and for them. But I can tell you one day of being miserable because you're afraid to do what your heart is really wanting you to do is not worth it. You know, go ahead and try it. You know, always say, you know, they say, well, what if I fail? And you know, the cliche is what if you fly? You don't know until you until you step off the branch. Okay, what's going to fail? And the cliche is, what if you fly? You don't know until you step off the
Starting point is 00:11:46 branch, okay, what's going to happen. And what's the worst thing that's going to happen is, yes, you may have a failure, but you're going to learn something in that that can propel you to your success. Love it. I freaking love that because I tell people that same thing. You have to embrace failure, but then you also have to know to learn and move forward from it, right? Because a lot of times we just hold on to the failure. And to your point, we let that define us, whether we do it purposely or not. And then we become afraid to be the person or people that we're supposed to be. And, you know, so I appreciate you saying that. And it's why, you know, I follow you on social and I've seen a lot of your videos. And I'm going to say this. You're one of the best motivational speakers on the planet. And so. The motivational speaking business, like what was that thing that said, OK, this is my story. Now I'm going to help others because you do it very selflessly.
Starting point is 00:12:45 And I love that. So what really did it was that it was part of my military training. So in the military, you do really hard and difficult and dangerous things. Like for example, if you're traversing a steep ridge on a mountain, we literally tie ourselves together on a rope. And the reason for that is, is as you're going up the mountain, if someone slips and falls, they don't fall to their death because the rest of you pick in until they can stand back up and continue on the mission. Same thing for fording a really swift river. We tie ourselves to each other in case someone slips so they don't get washed down the river and get hurt or captured by the enemy or drown. And then we stand firm until they can get back up. It's a great metaphor
Starting point is 00:13:38 for life to have what I call a rope team. And that is people who are figuratively tied to you as you're navigating life. And what I love about the concept of a rope team is that it's reciprocal. Sometimes you're the person who slipped on the rock or off the ledge, and you're waiting for people to help you get back up to continue on, on your mission in life and your why and living your best purpose and passion. And sometimes you're the person that's picking in for somebody else. And I really think that if I were to say the most wonderful healing balm I've ever experienced is when I'm helping someone else. And I know that feeling because I had to ask for help And I knew what it felt like to get help from people. And so I wanted
Starting point is 00:14:26 to be on a rope team in my civilian life. And so that propelled me to form Team Unbroken, which is an adaptive athletic team. Everybody in my team has a life-altering injury, illness, or trauma that's happened to them. And our whole purpose in life is to get out there and to do things to show people like us that something's happened to you that you don't that doesn't have to own you that's not who you are that's something that's happened to you and so you build your rope team of people that are going to be for there for you and then you got to be there for them so that you can navigate life so everybody gets to the top of the summit everybody gets to go up of the summit. Everybody gets to go
Starting point is 00:15:05 up there and there's a safety net that people are going to pick in for you. And if you stumble and fall, they're going to be there for you. So that sense of, you know, not a failure is dissipated a little bit because you've got a team that's connected to you. So that's kind of where I'm headed now. Now, Team Unbroken, we're doing all kinds of wonderful things and trying to meet and engage as many people as we can through all walks of life. And then with my speaking, I try to tell my story because, you know, and I don't leave anything out. I tell about the bad stuff, okay? So there were days when I wanted to die. I mean, I really did. Like I was struggling with
Starting point is 00:15:46 this ideal of suicide that I'd be better off dead than I was alive. That, you know, my career that I love so much was ripped from me and I couldn't find it wasn't good at anything else. And there was nobody who was going to hire a deaf person. And there's all these things were going through my head. And, you know, I know how it feels to be that low. And it's scary. It's very scary to be there. And so I don't want anybody to feel alone during those times. I can't stop those feelings.
Starting point is 00:16:14 But what I can do is journey with you to help you and acknowledge those feelings and to tell you that's not really the answer. The answer is to figure out what you want your life to be now, to play the new hand you've been dealt and play it to the best of your ability and really to take the focus off of yourself and put it on others, because that is really the whole purpose. And I was walking on the face of the earth. I, my personal opinion is for me to interact and be helpful to as many people as I can. That's awesome. You know, hearing that, and again, seeing a lot of the things that you've done and you've been working on, without naming any names, do you
Starting point is 00:16:58 have a success story that you could tell the audience? Because I'm sure people are like, I'm sure that she's worked with someone that's like me. And I think hearing a success story will help tie that together. Well, you know, I'm not a celebrity. Okay. I'm not a professional athlete. I'm just Gretchen. Okay. I grew up in a small town in West Texas, you know, joined the army at 19 to try to put food on the table and get a job and get some educational benefits. There's nothing special about me. Absolutely not. I'm five foot two and 110 pounds on a good day. I mean, you know, I'm not this. So I always say to everybody else, look, you know, it's just the engaging your very soul
Starting point is 00:17:41 and your grit. And I always tell everybody, everybody knows the first time you really engage your grit because it's a different type of feeling. You've reached really deep down into the very essence of yourself and said, I am not going to be defeated by what has happened or by what someone has done to me. And like I said, you know, it's hard.
Starting point is 00:18:02 It's hard. You can't just say, okay, let it be like water off a dog's back. That's easier said than done because words can be very hurtful. Okay. And other people's expectations can be very limiting or very scary. And so always say, you know, what is it that you want and how are you going to contribute to society to make the world just a little bit better, wherever you're planning, wherever, whatever it is that you're doing. I don't care what your job is, if you're cutting grass or you're mopping the floor or whatever, you know, do it with a happy heart and do it to
Starting point is 00:18:35 the best of your ability because you know what? It matters. Everything matters. And there's no like hierarchy on importance. In my opinion, we're all equal in all ways. And, you know, what people pick different professions and have different skill levels, but it doesn't make them more than or less than on what your vocation is. But I think really what measures the person is, you know, their character on is what is it you're doing it to make the life a little bit better for somebody else? That's awesome. Did that answer your question? You sure did.
Starting point is 00:19:11 You sure did. And I know you're very busy. You always have a lot of things going on. And you're also very humble. So you're not going to brag about the awards that you win. But I'm going to have a list of all of those under the show notes for everyone. But how do you balance the work that you're doing, the servant heart that you have for others with maintaining your own well-being too? How do you balance that? Yeah, it is a balance. I had a really, to be honest with you, right before we left to go climb Kilimanjaro, I had like three months of almost nonstop travel and speaking.
Starting point is 00:19:51 And I will say this, when I speak, because my story is a hard story, okay, it comes at a cost to me. Okay. And, you know, to share the depth of that, it causes me to remember exactly what happened and those feelings. And, you know, I don't just share it to be sharing it. I share it to people who want to hear it and who want to gain from it. But as we were getting ready to do Kilimanjaro, I showed up in Tanzania exhausted. And, you know, that was not a smart move on my part because I needed to be at my best to climb Kilimanjaro.
Starting point is 00:20:21 And, you know, as a result, I didn't get to summit because I got, you know, sick and worn down and the rest of the team was able to get up, you know, and that wasn't anybody's fault, probably, but mine, because I showed up not totally prepared. And that reminded me, okay, in a very real way that I have to take care of myself if I'm going to be the best for other people. And so, you know, now with a little bit more intention than I did before, it's, you know, sometimes you have to pick and choose and that sounds awful, but you really do. Otherwise I'd be gone every day. And I hate to say no, I do. It hurts my heart to say no, because, you know, that that's kind of the way I'm wired. I want to
Starting point is 00:21:01 say yes. Yes is a powerful world, you word. It opens up doors and it's collaboration. But I'm no spring chicken. Just on Monday, I turned 64. And that's a reality. Happy birthday. So I have incorporated a little bit of self-care and I recommend it to everybody else. It's hard. And there's times when, you know, you have to bite the bullet a little bit, but I cannot get my arm down like that again. It was an eye opener for me. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:21:35 So what do you want folks to know? What's new coming up? What are you working on? What do you have out there? What do we need to know about Sergeant Major Gretchen Evans? Okay, so about me, so all my speaking engagements, and I love to do speaking engagements and help people, you know, in this world. I have several of those coming up and all the proceeds that come from that, all my honorariums go straight to Team Unbroken and we're a non-profit.
Starting point is 00:22:03 And so Team Unbroken, we have a couple of big races coming up. We're doing some half marathons throughout the United States. Our big race for 2025 so far is a 50K in Antelope Canyon. We're going to do that. But we're also taking,
Starting point is 00:22:20 well, I'm going back up a little. In August, this is kind of a funny story. We have two civilians who have donated their sailboats that they actually live on. And their give back to the world is to take wounded warriors on sailing trips through the Bahamas. And so they've invited Team Unbroken, and we're going to dress up like pirates, we really are. And we're going to sail these boats through the Bahamas and have a little bit of downtime just for the team because everybody just came off of Kilimanjaro. And that was a tough one for all
Starting point is 00:22:51 of us. And then we just had a big event on Monday, which was exhausting for all of us. And we might be riding the East Coast Greenway, which is 3,000 miles of trail up the East Coast. We're trying to figure that out yet. But 2025 is not totally locked in yet, but we are doing the New York City Marathon on the 3rd of November. If anybody wants to run with us, just look for us. We're easy to find. We're a team on broken shirts.
Starting point is 00:23:19 So we have lots of things coming up. That's awesome. That's awesome. And I would be remiss if I didn't ask you about the Purple Heart Ceremony. I'd love to have the listeners and audience know about that. And if I'm not mistaken, it was at Ross Perot's ranch, right? Yes. And first, let me get a shout out to Mr. Perot because his ranch is beautiful and he offered it, you know, certainly to me as a gift
Starting point is 00:23:49 for that day. And so that was, that was meaningful. You know, I had mixed feelings about the Purple Heart ceremony, you know, Ray, it was wonderful to have my friends and family there. And it was wonderful that I was being recognized for the wounds that happened to me almost 18 years ago. But there's also the feeling of, you know, we all have this, what they call the imposter syndrome. You know, yes, was I deserving of a Purple Heart? Yes. But it's still hard. And then the Purple Heart is not an award anybody really wants because it means you got hurt, right, in combat. And also when I got hurt that day, there were people who
Starting point is 00:24:26 didn't survive. And so I had to remember, wanted to remember that those that weren't standing there with me that I wish that were. It was a beautiful ceremony. And I'll never forget the people who came from all over the United States to spend that day with me in the moment that General Rampey pinned that Purple Heart on me was a moment I'll never forget. But I think also with awards like that come responsibility. And so I hope to that I, you know, I live up to the honor of receiving something like that, that I think that there's, like I said, a responsibility that goes with that. You don't just get an award like that and not acknowledge that it's something special. That's honorable. That's amazing. But most importantly, that's you.
Starting point is 00:25:17 That's you. And so I have such tremendous respect for the human being that you are. And that's why I'm one of your biggest fans, because this is who you are every day. And I so thank you and appreciate you for that. Oh, thank you. And live my best life in the service of others. That's one thing I learned in the military, that term in service. You know, back in the day, like World War II, when you asked someone what they did, they would say, well, I'm in the service.
Starting point is 00:25:53 And what that means is you're doing something other than taking care of yourself. You're in the service of others. And so that's kind of my mantra. As long as I'm in the service of others, I'm a happy camper. And that's what fuels my smile and my hope and the fact that I love people and I want, you know, the best for them. And so that's what keeps me going every day. That's awesome. Well, Sergeant Major Evans, I appreciate you taking some time to spend with me today and with the audience today. This was a tremendous honor for all the listeners. I'm going to have every platform that you can connect with Gretchen and her team on.
Starting point is 00:26:35 We want to make sure that we're following and supporting her. She's a part of the Players for Good family, so we want to make sure that we're supporting that as well, too. Just truly honored that you were here. Thank you so much for having me and blessings to you and yours. And I hope to see you down the road somewhere in person and go live your best life. And if I can ever be of help, let me know, but consider yourself on my rope team. I am there and same for you. And for all the listeners, remember, your because is your superpower. Go unleash it. Thank you for tuning in to Mic Unplugged. Keep pushing your limits,
Starting point is 00:27:17 embracing your purpose, and chasing greatness. Until next time, stay unstoppable.

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