Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 1415: 7 Ways to Find Purpose

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

In this episode, Sal, Adam & Justin Cover 7 Ways to Find Purpose.  Why is it that we have so MUCH more, yet we are less happy than ever? (3:19) Why having a strong sense of purpose is a LARGE contributor to your overall health. (7:47) Mind Pump reminisces on moments of realization. (12:35) 7 Ways to Find Purpose. #1 – Practice gratitude. (16:32) #2 – Learn to serve others. (25:01) #3 – Practice spirituality. (30:52) #4 – Seek vulnerability. (36:42) #5 – What would you do for free? (47:10) #6 – How do you want to be remembered? (52:57) #7 – Surround yourself with driven people. (57:31) Related Links/Products Mentioned Visit Paleo Valley for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Code “Mindpump15” at checkout for 15% discount** November Promotion: MAPS Ultimate At-Home Workout Bundle for Only $99.99 American Life Has Gotten More Comfortable, but Less Happy Mind Pump #1165: Bishop Robert Barron On Physical Fitness, Satan, Evolution, Psychedelics & Much More Mind Pump #1410: How To Be A Great Dad Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources People Mentioned Arthur Brooks (@arthurcbrooks)  Instagram Justin "ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢ ᴘʏɢᴍʏ" Wren (@thebigpygmy)  Instagram Bishop Robert Barron (@bishopbarron) Instagram Gary Vay-Ner-Chuk (@garyvee) Instagram

That's why you have so many books that are written around like the last 15 minutes before bed sitting down and riding your 5 or 7 or 10 things you're grateful for in the day. It's not like there's something magical about doing that one time. It's your training yourself to think that way so that when you get hit with adversity, you get hit with these challenging moments. You don't dwell in them for weeks and months and spiral into depression. You have the ability right away to reframe and be grateful for the situation. If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.

Mind up, mind up with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. You're listening to Mind Pump the World's Top Fitness Health and Entertainment podcast. Now in this episode we talk all about purpose. Now I remember when I was younger, I used to think purpose was overrated. So what's the big deal?

If I'm having fun and enjoying myself, why does everybody always talk about purpose? Well, as we got older, we all realized that the key to success in life fulfillment is in finding purpose. But boy, that's a lot easier said than done. So in this episode, we talk all about finding purpose and what that looks like and why it's important to find purpose in your life.

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That's maps, M-A-P-S, november.com. You know, I was reading an article by Arthur Brooks. He wrote, he writes for the Atlantic and I love reading his stuff, great writer. Always has such a good pragmatic, positive view on things. But there was something really interesting in that article. So number one, obviously he's very well-versed in economics. It's part of what he does.

But he cited, he was a study where it's an economist take numbers, crunch them to see how much more or less wealthy we were today versus in the past, the adjusted for inflation. And what they found, and these are just hard numbers, was that today, in all categories, from the lower middle to upper class. Everybody in America today, adjusted for inflation, is far wealthier and has more purchasing power and just generally materially speaking, much better off, here's the crazy part.

Depressions on their eyes, people claim to be a more unhappy. So this is the weird part, since 1988, happiness, joy, purpose, meaning, like all those positive things have been on a slow decline since 1988. And since the Reagan years. Yeah. And you know what's crazy about this is that we have more stuff, more entertainment, bigger houses. The average American today lives in a thousand square feet bigger living space than they did

You know 60 or 70 years ago There are we live longer There's lower crime crime is much lower than it was in 1988 across the country. This is a fact So for all intents and purposes you would would not expect to see that people are less happy and yet that's what they're finding. Well, I think it's because we are a consumer-based society now. Everything's based around that. And we've been advertised to that since the 30s, right?

That this is what makes you happy. All the commercials and ads and we continue to buy all these things. I think why it's worked for so long is a lot of those things do give a temporary excitement and joy. I think when you initially buy something, whether it be a new car or a pair of tennis shoes, whatever it is, the first purchase and then when you get them, there is a little bit of excitement

and joy, but it's fleeting after that. And then I think it just feeds into this vicious cycle of trying to fill this empty hole because you haven't found purpose in your life. And so you're trying to fill it with all these goods. And when you add in that with the marketing and the advertising and the way this whole machine works, it's tough to break out of that. And I think what we're finding today is that we can have so much more, you know, we've talked about this before in the podcast that, you know, we're not far away from everybody being able to have most things, which is so different than what it was just 100 years ago. Well, today somebody who's poor has access to things

that the wealthiest people of all time 200 years ago didn't have because they didn't exist. Well, you're gonna go that far. You can just say something like a television. Correct. Somebody who could be on welfare, right, and struggling to get by living paycheck to paycheck or not having a paycheck at all, I think average household has one and a half TVs or two

and a half TVs in their house. And just 50, 60 years ago, that was a big deal. If you had one, it was a big deal. Right. I mean, hunger, hunger has largely been solved in modern societies. The point where in America, you're far more likely to die of too much food than too little food. Well, and it makes me think too. I remember we were talking with Justin Ren, and he was out there trying to help people

that have dirty water still, but his experience was that they were some of the most happy people that he's ever been around. We are searching for the answers in places where the answers don't exist. What Arthur Brooks talks about and what psychologists and scientists are talking about, a sense of purpose and meaning cannot be found with the ways that I think people are trying to find them. That doesn't mean it's not good that we're innovating and creating new products and making life easier. That's all good.

It's not bad, but it's not going to solve this problem. Studies show that having a strong sense of purpose are very protective to your health, it's you're less likely to have Alzheimer's disease. You live longer if you get cancer or get very ill. People with a higher, with a good sense of purpose have greater, far greater emotional recovery when terrible things happen to them. It's a very important overall measure of your health or factor that contributes to, you know, generally speaking, just your total health. I've personally seen this too with people who are retiring and they don't really have anything

lined up after that. The slow decline, it turns into a rapid decline, like right in front of my eyes. And this happened to a few of my dad's friends. Unfortunately, they have passed. And really it was once one of the partners passed and they passed and they just didn't recreate that purpose to carry them on from then on out.

Well, again, I think that's another narrative that we're playing out that was told to us, right? We're supposed to go to these jobs. We're supposed to work really hard by the house that we live in, spend most of your life trying to pay it off, put a bunch of money away in savings and retirement, and then finally retirement happens, and now life is just supposed to be so good. Now we're supposed to enjoy it. Yeah, and then what you find is,

and I've seen the same thing too myself. I'd love to see some actually research on this. I'm sure there is some studies to support what we're talking about. Oh yeah, and there is a market spike in death and illness right after retirement, and they know that that's one of the reasons why, is that they think it's because people lose that drive and purpose that they maybe had

from the work or career that they had. Their identity was all wrapped up in that. Yes, the reason why it's so important for first off, it makes life bearable, even easy life. What we're seeing now, studies are showing that you have kids or people in their 20s and 30s who they have a job, they have everything, they're at home or in their apartment and they're just depressed, they're or flat or anxious

and they can't figure out what the hell is going on. But on the other end, this is why it's really important. A sense of purpose makes the hard parts of life bearable. This is the most important thing because I don't care who you are, I don't care how much money you have or whatever. There is something hard is going to happen to you in your life at some point or several things are going to happen to you that are really hard. A sense of purpose is what makes those things bearable without Without a sense of purpose, when you get hit in the face with something very difficult, you just want to die.

This reminds me of my very first client when I had my own personal training studio. So years ago, when I left the big box gyms, I did a little stint in investments and then I opened up a personal training studio. And I remember my first studio was in the back of a tanning salon and there was a lady that was walking around and I introduced myself and she ended up becoming my very first client. I started training her for a little while and anyway, long story short she became a trainer

and fitness became her life. I remember when I was training her about, it was about six months in, and personal trainings, you know, relatively expensive, it's not inexpensive. I think at the time, I was charging $70 or $80 an hour a session. And I remember her husband, and they were straight middle class, right? And I remember her husband calling me and saying, hey, Sal, when, you know, I don't want to use her name, but he said, when her sessions are done, tell me. Cause this is really making a big difference. And then he proceeded to tell me that, I think it was something like five years prior,

their son had been hit by a drunk driver. He was a 18 year old kid, 19 year old kid, and he got hit and was killed. And I can't even imagine what that must have been like. So I was training her and that helped her quite a bit. And a couple of years later, she opened up and talked about it, and I would ask her questions. And I said, how did you get through that? By that point, I had my son.

And so once you have kids, if you ever hear about someone losing a kid, you think, wow, I don't know how you could possibly survive that. And she said, my daughter is what kept me alive. And I said, what do you mean? And she goes, well, I have the older sister. If I didn't have her, I would have had no purpose to continue going. It was that right there that pulled me through

that incredibly difficult time, because I had to stay strong and sane and healthy to raise her. So that sense of purpose made the most, for me, something that sounds absolutely unbearable, possible or bearable because of that sense of purpose. I can remember when I first figured out that what I had been driving towards most of my life was not fulfilling, not the way I thought

it was. And I think there's got to be, you know, a percentage of people that are listening that have something somewhere, they maybe they think that they have found their purpose and they're driving towards it and then they reach it and they get there and they realize, like, maybe that's not what it was all supposed to be, right? You know, for me, I was so driven by money and reaching a place financially where I thought, okay, I would never have to worry about money. I'd have my house, I'd never have to worry about money. Again, I'd put enough in the bank or invest enough

or have enough of my savings that I will have made it. And at that point, I'll be happy. You know, this have made it. And at that point, I'll be happy. This will be it. And I guess a lot of that internal conversation didn't happen exactly like that. I think I'm put into certain circumstances as a child when we're younger. We don't have a lot of things like that.

So internally, I'm driven to change that. And that's all that I'm focused. So I have this tunnel vision for you know 20 years in my life and I remember waking up you know in my mid to late 20s is around 27 28 and I had more money in the bank account. I had a place where I literally didn't have to work for a while. I had my house and felt that I had reached this number that I had decided that this was it. Like, if I once I make this much, you know, and what I thought was that was gonna be like,

kind of a lifelong pursuit for me to get there, so it seemed like this was a good purpose. And I remember really sitting back and kind of evaluating my life and going, like, what my health was in the worst I had been in at that point, had some relate, the girl that I was dating at the time had just recently cheated on me. So I was in the middle of a breakup. I had just lost a best friend of mine and not to death, but to us no longer being friends anymore.

So we were on the outs, my two closest friends, and I weren't spending as much time together. And when I started to look at all the other things in my life, I was like, wow, this is crazy. This thing that I thought was so important that I was driving towards that I thought was my purpose. I'd kind of reached it. And when I really evaluated all the other aspects of my life, I was actually at some of the unhappiest times of my life. And it must have been a hard realization.

It was. It was hard, but then there was actually for me, there was a moment of a little bit of like depressed feeling, like, oh shit, this isn't what it supposed to be. But then there was also for me a weight that was lifted off. Like, I got to that place because of out of fear, right? I was driven towards the money thing because I was afraid of being poor.

That was the story that I was telling myself in my head for so long. And then once I had reached that and realized, okay, I'm not gonna be poor, I'm gonna be okay. But this isn't what makes me happy. There was kind of this relief that of this weight coming off my shoulders of, oh wow, now I can actually focus on maybe what truly drives me and makes me happy

and not driving myself out of fear. And so my point of sharing that is, sometimes we're driven towards what we think is our purpose because we're still running from something that is rooted in our childhood or that we're fearful of. And because that gave me purpose, I thought it was the right purpose. And it wasn't until I obtained that, that I realized that this isn't my purpose. This is not why I was put here.

And this doesn't actually make me happy. So a little bit of depression at first, but then it was this weight off my shoulders. Okay, now let's begin seeking what is really going to give me true purpose. Yeah, and I think that brings us to the first probably one of the more important points which is to practice gratitude and I think that's probably what took you at it at a little depressed feeling, right? You start feeling grateful for figuring that out. I know I've told I haven't told the story in a long time on the podcast, but in my early 30s, up into that point,

working in fitness, training clients, body obsessed myself, obviously I was driven by same insecurities about being a skinny kid or whatever, so I kind of identified with being this muscular, strong, you know, fit trainer, and my health took a turn and rebelled on me essentially. And I remember I could, no matter what I ate, I had severe digestion on the issues. I was losing weight, I lost almost 15 pounds in a couple months,

which to somebody who's identified with their body, works in fitness, and thinks they know it all. You wanna talk about an ego check. I can't even stop my body from getting skinny and feeling weak. People, you know, clients commenting, my family asking me what's going on. Doctors couldn't figure it out.

And I went on this journey of focusing on health rather than focusing on what I looked like. So I did the whole thing, right? The elimination diet and I figured out, I had a treat in my gut issues and I stopped focusing so much on what I looked like. And at the end of it, really what ended up happening is I ended up really developing the voice

that I have now on the podcast, like how I talk about health and fitness came from that moment. And it was the gratitude that I had because during that period of time was hard. Believe it, not easy, right? It's not easy eating food and it not work, no matter what you do,

and counter to all the things that you think are right. I mean, I'm eating all the stuff I think is healthy. It's just not working. And I remember there was a point where I had, I became grateful and I said, you know what, this is gonna force me to look at things a little different. This is gonna force me to face things that I haven't faced in terms of my relationship

to exercise and to nutrition. And it was that that got me out of it. And that's really important. It's that practicing gratitude. But it's not practicing gratitude when it's obvious. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you win the lottery or you hit a home run. I'm so grateful.

This really only works when you're, and you gotta be grateful for that stuff too. That's the thing of it. That's it. Be grateful when shit's hard. I can remember that too. And it, you know, from coming back from going to school across the country and trying to figure out what I was going to do for a career and

Trying to please everybody around me I was very reactionary to life and this was a thing that I realized I was I hadn't found my purpose yet and I was unhappy and I was I was pretty much like just facing whatever adversity or whatever obstacle was in front of me and I was pretty much like just facing whatever adversity or whatever obstacles in front of me, just based off of the odds, what I was gonna face for that day. And it was really until I started to focus specifically

on things that I was very grateful for that were in my life at the time. And then things that I was very grateful for that were in my life at the time. And then things that I really enjoyed a part of my day from my job or from the activities I was doing, I started to really focus my efforts around those things that it started to reveal itself for me. And so it wasn't even until I could corral my thoughts and sort of gain the steering wheel and take myself to where I wanted to go. But I had to, I had to practice gratitude. I had to, I had to be able to see those things that were right in front of me that were otherwise just invisible.

Oh, it's a great practice. It's like think of a challenging, difficult thing that's happening to you now, or maybe happened to you in the past, something that you're struggling with. And it can be, and it can. And it can be a lot of, it can be something that's really terrible. You could have lost a loved one or have a spouse that cheated on you or you came down with an illness that maybe

to this day affects you. And think about something you'd be grateful about, about that moment. And that's a really hard thing to do. You know, especially if you're thinking about someone that you lost be grateful about, about that moment. And that's a really hard thing to do. You know, especially if you're thinking about someone that you lost, that you loved, like what am I grateful about? What are you talking about?

I lost my best friend. Something came out of that that you can look back at and say, you know what though? I'm grateful for this. It forced me to be a better person or forced me to value my relationships differently or forced me to change this thing about myself.

Because that gives purpose and meaning to the difficult parts of your life, that type of gratitude. That's what practicing gratitude literally means. Well, I think too, you have to practice gratitude first before you can become fully present. Because it's interesting creatures we are, right? We set these goals and we're constantly focused on this destination that we want to get to. Meanwhile, our life is like full of all these little hidden gems and moments and things for us to be happy and grateful for. But

many times we don't stop. I don't even acknowledge them. Yeah, we don't. Because we're not present. We're focused on the next thing. We're focused on a goal or a place that we want to get and we fail to be grateful and become present with what's right in front of us. And so I think in order to be present and which we talk about on this show, at Nazim, in this time that it's so important with all the distraction we have, in order to get there, you must first learn to be grateful for the things that you do have. When you are grateful for the things that you do have, then you start to slow down those moments

and slow down those days. I work so hard to provide for my family because I want to be a good father, but not to trade off of not being present as a dad, right? So you have to remember those things. And we always use, we talk about how someone's deathbed, they never stopped and they'll never said, like, oh, I wish I would have worked 10 more hours and made X amount more money.

Yeah, so think about that. I was thinking too about, you know how you buy a car and then you see cars that are the same everywhere, like immediately. And that's how I look at too, how I was looking at all my problems. At one point, I was seeing problems, I could see all kinds of problems, all of a sudden spurring, like every day I was like, oh my God,

all this stuff is happening to me, it's all happening to me, versus when I started to start really looking at positive things that were happening and things that I was enjoying and man, all of a sudden now those are starting to pop up there. Well, and will we start to, you know, the more you practice this, and it's hard, right?

You guys are talking about, you know, desing the family and these really challenging things, but the greater the challenge, the greater the reward is on the other side of it, right? So when you become really present and you practice this gratitude, then you start to look at these difficult times in your life and you recognize this gratitude, then you start to look at these difficult times in your life and you recognize them as oh wow, this may present actually the most opportunity for growth and I'm grateful for this situation. It completely reframes the situation that you're going through instead of it being something that is oh my god poor me. This is terrible this sucks It, of course, there's nothing wrong with grieving over somebody who died in your family or going through hardship and knowing like,

oh man, this sucks, it's hard. But then also recognizing like, oh wow, this is also gonna present one hell of an opportunity for me to grow and become a better version myself. Practicing gratitude helps you when you're in those moments training for when you're in those moments. If you're constantly training yourself like that, and that's why you have so many books that are written around, you know, things like this,

like the last 15 minutes before bed, is sitting down and riding your five or seven or 10 things you're grateful for in the day. All that is, it's not like there's something magical about doing that one time. It's your training yourself to think that way. So that when you get hit with adversity, you get hit with these challenging moments, you don't dwell in them for weeks and months and spiral into depression. You have the ability right away to reframe and be grateful for this situation. That's the most important point. That's why it's practice.

It's not, you know, remind yourself or try to be, you practice it, so it becomes automatic. Then it becomes your go-to when things get difficult, but it does take consistent practice, just like if you wanna get good at a squat, you have to practice the squat constantly to get really good at the same thing with gratitude. Now, the next one, this one's interesting because studies will show that people who volunteer,

okay, volunteer workers, people who work for charities don't get paid anything. They work the hardest, they tend to work the most hours, oftentimes, and simultaneously they have some of the highest work satisfaction, yet they're not getting paid. So that brings us to the second one, which is learn to serve others. And I've experienced this myself many, many times, doing things for other people, not for money, not for, not even to get recognized, but just for the sake of it.

Like I'm doing this for this other person, even if they don't recognize it, even if other people don't see it, that gives you a really, really good, strong sense of purpose and meaning. This is something that I've learned from friends of mine that have done this with their kids. I have some friends that are very successful and wealthy, and we talk sometimes about how to make sure your kids grow up and realize how lucky they are to grow up with such nice things and to be so privileged.

And they tell me that one of the best things they did is have their children go, unlike these six-month missions or whatever, where they go, and they build houses for people or feed people or work for other people for free. And he says they came back totally different. I remember when I trained, when I was a personal trainer,

I had a lot of clients that were doctors and there were a couple of them that did that. I think it's called Doctors Without Borders, where they travel and they'll do work and stuff. And it's totally on their time. They're not getting, these are high paid, very busy surgeons and they're busy anyway. They already work tons of hours anyway.

And they'll take a month or two months and go fly somewhere and live in some, you know, hut or you know, share a room with a bunch of beds with other doctors, do their services for free. And when they'll come back, they're tired, exhausted, but they all say by far, that is so much more meaningful than what I do at work. Anyway, because they're serving other people.

Yeah, provides perspective. It allows you to peer into somebody else's life that, you know, and their struggles are no different. I mean, they're different, but everybody, everybody's going through life, through adversity, and, you know, finding their way through. And if you can help somebody, it's very rewarding back, you know,

to you being involved and helping somebody through that. And I think a lot of times, this is just good to break that sort of loop that we get in about thinking about our own problems, our own things that are happening to us constantly. It helps you to now be able to kind of release yourself from that constant thought process and really just pour yourself into somebody else and lift them up. I also think that it's a very powerful tool. So even though this isn't the intent that I think you go into this, but it's something

that I've recognized over years of being in business and then also helping other entrepreneurs that want to scale or be better at what they do is leading with a service mind first. And some of the best and most successful people that I've ever met understand this really well. They look for things that they can do for you. And if you do that without thinking like, Oh, what am I going to get in return? Like you truly do it to help others and be of service to other people, it does come back tenfold. It's the most amazing thing ever. When you spend a life of being that person where you're truly trying to give and help others, there's a percentage of those people

that will also return that favor. And it's a compounding thing that you do over years and years and years. Exactly. Yeah, it's absolutely, it's equity. I'll never forget the first time that I went to a funeral of a man that I think really understood this. And I'll never forget seeing just like hundreds

and hundreds of people that were lining up to speak to the wife afterwards because of the life that he led of giving to others. And it's like, it gets me emotional just thinking about it how powerful that is. It's like you can become the richest man in the world by working really hard and saving your money and investing well. And then you die and nobody gives a shit

You know, maybe the those that are closest to you care a little bit But then nobody ever talks about you nobody ever thinks about you ever again You're now gone from the surf We take that same person that dedicated their life to serving others versus trying to serve themselves all the time And those people will speak volumes of that person for an eternity They'll be talked about all the time about the type of life that they led. It was a very powerful moment for me when I saw that it completely reframed the way how I look at success and I've never thinking to myself like, man, and I've said this before in my interviews

and it always comes off terrible because it sounds like I have a massive ego or narcissistic over it. Like when I say that when I die You know what I would love to fill a stadium full of people and not because I'm famous But because I've impacted so many lives. I've done so much for other people that they feel that they want to come there to pay their respects And when I say it it comes off as this narcissistic guy who wants to have thousands of people, you know, going to his funeral. Guns and roses playing. Yeah. But it's really not about that.

What it's really about is that, you know, have I let a life like that that I've truly tried to serve and help other people so much and to so many that that many people think about me when I pass, pass away. And I just think that finding your purpose, part of that, that work is going in to serve others and is extremely rewarding when you piece it together. Absolutely. Now the next one, this one, you know, study show is actually quite important, but we're going to break it down a little bit because it can mean a few different things. And that's to practice spirituality. Now, that can mean religion.

It can mean connecting with nature for some people, meditation, and working on awareness for other people. But the reason why this is important is because it helps you realize things that are bigger than you and bigger than life. And I know some people think like, oh, I don't want to worship anything or I don't worship anything. That's actually false. Okay. We all worship something.

Whatever your top value is is what you end up worshiping. So whether that be, you know, God or money or power or honor, it's your actions reflect what you actually worship. It's what drives all your decisions, ends up being what you worship. And if what you worship is something that is bigger than you, something that is perfect, something that is maybe even esoteric, that can really give things a lot of purpose and meaning versus something material. Spirituality is immaterial. If spirituality is not something, it's not something that is material.

Like worshiping money or power or sex, you get those things and you realize now what? Spirituality is bigger than you. Lots and lots of studies show that people, and the studies are done on religious people, mainly because that's the more classic example of spirituality. So when we have lots of examples of people who are deeply religious, live longer,

get sick less, are healthier, and have much more joyful lives. They report more joyful lives, a report more joyful lives, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that they have the spiritual practice that gives good things meaning, but even more importantly, gives bad things meaning. Yeah, it's interesting if you think about it logically

and you're not a religious person, but you think of the idea of the perfect version, the perfect being that you could try to be like, but you never really can achieve that, but your whole goal of life is to sharpen what you're doing, get better, and constantly grow. If you look at it like that, I mean, it makes a lot of sense even to somebody

who may be not be that religious, you know, have that kind of background. Well, this follows the last one really well, right? You saw you alluded to everybody worships something based off of what you do. So even if you're not religious, you're either chasing honor, power, money, all these things, right? But all those things are very selfish. They're all self-centered, right? Honor, power, money. These are all things that... Pleasure, I think you know, right? Honor, power, money. These are all things that are... Pleasure, I think.

And they're... And they're... And they all serve me versus serving others. And so the reason why I think that there's such strong cases for why this is so good and religion is a good example, that is because I think it lays the blueprint out for most people that don't understand how to pursue this. So if you're a non-religious person, I believe that the key to this is selflessness. It's a lot of that, is recognizing that there's other things

other than yourself or serving yourself that is greater than you. And why now, and that's a great point because you think yourself, well, okay, well, what's spiritual about that? Well, it's not because objectively speaking, it doesn't make sense. And so what I mean by that is,

if I were to sit here without a spiritual practice and say, what makes the most sense? What should I do in my life? Well, I should do everything that makes me for me. It doesn't make sense to do things for other people. Like a pleasure monkey. Yeah, exactly. It's gotta be all for me, that's objectively true, right?

And I could make a case for it objectively. I could make a case. Why are you helping those people over there, giving them your money, or why are you devoting your time and getting tired when you could be going and having fun doing stuff for you? Life becomes very self-centered when you don't have a spiritual practice. When you have a spiritual practice, it's not about you anymore. And now it's about other. It's about whether it be God or other people.

It's about serving other people. And religious leaders, I don't wish a baron calls it spiritual physics, that the more you serve, the more energy you get back, the more you put out love, the more love you get back, it's totally true. I've never felt more, I've never felt better

than exhausting myself serving others. You know what I mean? It feels much better from a spiritual sense than doing things just for me. And so in order to overcome your natural objective, that natural desire to always serve yourself, spirituality helps you overcome that. Well, why am I doing things for other people? Well, because I'm connected to everybody. That might be a form of spirituality.

You know, everybody's connected. You hear people say that or I worship God and God says that this is what we do so I serve others. So this is very, very important to helping people find purpose in studies. If you're just a science driven person, by the way, studies prove this. That spiritual practice has really helped lead to this. But again, just like the others, it is a practice. So just like if you want strong muscles, it doesn't happen from one workout, it doesn't happen from two workouts. It doesn't happen from inconsistent workouts.

It happens from consistency,. It happens from consistency, and it happens from consistency over a long period of time. Like you don't work out for a month and then stop every year or whatever. You do it all the time. Spirituality is like that as well. You practice it on a daily basis, on a weekly basis,

and you do it consistently. Part of that I think goes to our next point, which is seeking vulnerability. Things that make you feel uncomfortable or that are challenging. Anything that comes easy is never rewarding. And even if it feels good for a minute, it's a moment and then it's gone.

It's the things that took a long time or that were challenging or challenged you. You were scared, you were nervous, it was hard, this is out of your comfort zone. Those are the things that are going to give you the greatest purpose. Some people get this really early on and then they become, they're fear seekers. That's, face your fears, right? I feel like when you figure this, you unlock this, like, oh, wow, the worst that happens is

failure, the worst that happens is I fall down. I can always get back up again. You begin to become somebody who starts to seek out all of these situations where you're very vulnerable because you realize how fulfilling it is and how rewarding it is to be chasing it. Well, can you remember a time when you opened yourself up and were very vulnerable to your partner where you said something that maybe you revealed something that you really don't open yourself up and we're very vulnerable to your partner, where you said something that maybe you revealed something

that you really don't like to reveal to anybody else because you're either shamed or embarrassed or because it makes you feel weak or not strong. And then they hear it and they accept it and then they love you and you never feel closer than you do in that moment because Being vulnerable allows now. Now here's why it's vulnerable you open yourself up to ridicule You open yourself up to shame you it's like swinging. It's like playing a sport versus not playing the sport if you play it

You you you're in the risk of losing if you don't then you'll never win or lose you never have any risk right when you make yourself vulnerable You run the risk of getting crushed, but if you don't, you, that's how you get very close. It's also what makes you grow. What's that self-growing? That's what drives growth. In fact,

almost the definition of love, right? I mean, you're not really gonna love somebody unless you're vulnerable and you give them all of yourself versus just a portion of it, so you don't get hurt because of the rejection or whatever it is that you're withholding. And so it really is, it's an all-in kind of an approach

and to be all-in and to find your purpose, you really do need to put those uncomfortable parts out and allow what's to unfold to unfold. Yeah, and you can't grow when you're comfortable. Nothing on the body changes, nothing in the mind, or the spirit changes from being comfortable. First of all, change is scary. Change takes energy. Growth takes all those things, and it doesn't happen unless you are so uncomfortable that it has to happen, right?

And so this is where self-growth comes from. You never grow from doing things relaxed and whatever growth comes from doing the hard stuff And even more importantly if you want to be able to do this repeatedly It's to do the hard things and love the fact that they're hard Which is you know makes things, which makes it a practice. Yeah, I was gonna ask you guys, if you guys subscribe to find what you love or love what you do. There's different camps, right? People that believe that seeking out something

that you follow, what's the quote goes, if you love what you do, you never have to work another day in your life, right? So trying to find something that you're in love with or trying to find love within what you do. Yeah, I mean, Lennie holds versus Gen Z Yeah, I mean, I mean, you know what? I think if you're always seeking what you love, you're going to be seeking a lot and you'll be bouncing from thing to thing. I think the key really is to learn to love what you're doing. Because that's really the trick, that's the skill,

because no matter what you're doing, I think we confuse love with the feeling of love, Because that's really the trick, that's the skill, because no matter what, I think we confuse love with the feeling of love, right? Like, oh, it's the feel good feeling. Love is an action, and it requires diligence, and you have to be conscious about it. Although, oftentimes does a company of feeling or come with this feeling.

If you're always seeking that feeling of love, it's gonna be very hard to be consistent, It's going to be very, very hard to do to you'll always be on this path of looking. Well, I think I think one guarantees that you find purpose and the other one doesn't. So if you are trying to find love, right, and trying to find something that you love, you may end up seeking your entire life and never finding. If you learn to love what you do, there's a very good chance that you'll fall into something that was your purpose. So, it's a dangerous path, I think, that's some, and you know, Justin's jab at

the millennials, you know, I don't know if it's so much an age thing as much as it is, there is definitely a group of our population that is chasing and trying to trend. Right, trying to find purpose. And I love what Gary Vee always says to that. You're too young to find purpose right now. You need to eat shit for seven years and then it'll find you, right? And that's how I feel about it. Ironically, you'll find purpose like that way.

Yeah, no, it's true. It's just, and you love what you do. You've decided, I've committed, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna be the best at whatever it is I am. Even if it's not the thing I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, and eventually that you'll find something that you love versus I'm going to hold out and not do this and not do that because I'm pretty sure I don't love that. I'm pretty sure I don't love that. And then you end up finding yourself.

And if you're going to train yourself to keep putting things off. And really you just need to get in and get invested in it. And even though it's gonna suck, you know that there's ways for you to reframe what's in front of you and start really looking at what it's teaching you, what you're learning from. I have a great example of this, right? So I hate housework. I hate yard work.

Both things I can't stand, right? I used to hate them, I should say. And so on I would do them, it's like, oh, I got a, you know, a wash in the dishes, I got a fold the laundry, I got a mow the lawn, this really sucks. And then I had a bit of an epiphany. It was exactly what we're talking about.

I said, why don't I find a way to love doing this? What if I could do that? I mean, I feel like I could work on that. I'm a growth oriented person. This is what I thought about myself at least. So let me see I could work on that. I'm a growth-oriented person. This is what I thought about myself at least. So let me see if I can do that. And so I found that switch happened, and I found myself actually,

it was quite meditative to wash dishes and to do laundry and to mow the lawn. All of a sudden I found myself looking forward to being able to put my headphones on, turn on the lawn more, mow the lawn, pay attention to the detail, rather than getting it done because I hate it so much. I actually did a better job as a result of it,

and I actually found myself enjoying what I was doing. It was really a mental switch more than anything. I didn't change anything else other than, then I said to myself, I might as well choose to learn how to like to do this, since I have to do this. Yeah, you gotta do it anyway. Yeah, you just hit a very, very important key to that,

I think, which is you started to do a better job. When you go into, and I think of like that with the workforce, because one of the things I think most people as a young kid coming up is struggling to find purpose is the job, right? That you love to do. And one of the great things about that is when you go into a job, and I think about like,

when I used to, you know, milk cows, like milking cows and shoveling shit Like there's nothing fun about that right this But finding a way to love what I'm doing and be good at what I'm doing Inza attracting other people. I remember I got another job after that because somebody saw my work ethic And saw the the success that I was having for them that had nothing to do with me loving what I was doing But then I ended up transitioning into another job that ended up liking more.

And so a lot of times when you go into these situations that maybe you're not in love with it, but you find a way to love it and be good at it, it ends up leading to another opportunity. Oh yeah, it's, I mean, you become good at everything that you do. Think about that. Think about the things that you're good at,

that you're really, really good at. It's usually things that you enjoy. Think about that. Think about the things that you're good at, that you're really, really good at. It's usually things that you enjoy. So imagine that switch. If you could make that mental switch for what you're doing at the moment, find a way to enjoy it. And then what you'll find is you do better at it. And then like anything, it turns into a skill.

Boy, do you become, I mean, dangerous in the workforce. Do you become someone that attracts other people who want to work for you? It opens up doors. I'm pretty sure it opened up doors for you, Adam. Well, I think. Yeah, no, not so great. An example, I think of that as like, again,

this is me thinking about video games, but what you learn in the hard levels, like to get to the next level, you have to do all of the hard work, to get to the one that's going to be harder even still. And so you might not even be ready for that one yet. So if you're, if you're trying to get to what you think is going to be your purpose, so I see something out there on the horizon. I'm like, oh, I want that so bad. And that's all I want. I'm just going to like

throw all these other opportunities away when all those other opportunities may have been the stepping stones you needed to learn to get to that place. Dude, I remember it, it's made me think of a story. When I was 12, I went to Sicily with my family and I had gone before, but I was really young, thinking I was like two or three. So 12 was when I really remember, I was my first trip when I met my dad's family that I really remembered. And there would tell me stories of my great-grandfather,

my other grandfather and uncles, and they definitely were compared to our standards. They were poor, but especially when you go into my grandfather's generation, and my great-grandfather's generation, and Sicily were extremely poor. And they were telling me stories about my great-grandfather and how much people loved to work with him.

So in those days in Sicily, you either worked the land or you owned the land. Very few people owned the land. So most people worked the land. And my great grandfather, one of the things he did was help tend to these lemon orchards, Sicily's known for their lemons. And they would pick lemons and put them in boxes and carry the boxes and move them out. And workers would pull straws in order to see you could work with my great-grandfather. Everybody wanted to work with my great-grandfather. And the reason they wanted to work with them,

and this is the stories that they told me, was because he told incredible stories and jokes. So while you're working in the hot sun, pick in the lemons all they want. They were enjoyable. Yeah, he would tell these great stories and these great jokes. And so everybody fought to work with him. Now here's the other side of it. He also was known as being one of the most productive workers. In fact, whoever worked with them produced more, were able to pick more lemons or whatever.

Then they would, have they not? Why? Because they were enjoying themselves. Because they found a way to love what they were doing. So, remind me of that story. Now, the next one, this one, I've heard before, but it kinda does make sense, and I have a personal story for this. So, years ago, and I even said it earlier in this episode, years ago, I worked in big gyms,

and then I transitioned and owned my own personal training studio. But there's actually a period of time in between that, about eight months long, that I didn't work in the fitness space. I had thought when I left big box gyms, which here's what it was like working in the big box gym for me, when I was a general manager, I would get in at eight or nine a.m. and I would come home nine or 10 p.m.

and it was six days a week. It was a lot of work. I made good money, but it was a lot of work. Now I enjoyed the hell out of it, but at this point, I was thinking about starting a family. I'm like, this is a lot of hours. This is really crazy. I know I'm good with my words and I'm good in sales.

Let me see if I can do something else that's less hours and maybe gets me more money. My aunt worked in the banking industry and she said, you know, maybe I'll get you an interview so you can talk to my boss and see if you can get in on the investment side and you can make good money in your hour, you know, your work bankers hours, right? So nine to five or really you work nine to three or four, by the way, when I was the bank everybody was out of there by that time. So I said, let me give it a shot.

So I went in, got interviewed, they hired me and I did the, I got my, when I was in the bank, everybody was out of there by that time. So I said, let me give it a shot. So I went in, got interviewed, they hired me, and I got my series six and 63 license, and eventually I was gonna get a series seven license and all that stuff. And so I'm taking the test and doing the whole thing, and I'm working in the bank, and I found myself, half the time I was in the bank, talking to people about fitness, talking to people about fitness,

talking to people about nutrition, giving people workouts. My coworkers, the people coming into the bank, like this is what I was talking about all the time. And when I wasn't talking about that, I was looking up at the clock waiting for lunch time, so I could take my break, waiting for four o'clock so I could go home.

And I realized that what I would do for free, and this is the next one, is talk about fitness. Think about that. If you wanna work in a way that serves your purpose, think to yourself, what would I do for free? For me, talking about fitness and health and self-improvement is something that I did in a job that had almost nothing to do with it

because I enjoyed doing it so much. It's something that I would do for free. I would do this podcast for free. Oh, we did. Yeah, I was just gonna get in. Yeah, we did. I was gonna say, we all did that. Well, not only did we do that, but even so, you know,

we recently have, you know, we set and did our, you know, set up by sell agreements. And I think that's a responsible thing for us to do. You know, Doug's getting old. We want to make sure in case he dies. He'll out with all of them. Yeah, no, that's the truth there. It's the rest of us are worried we're going to go sooner, right?

No, it's a responsible thing for us to do at this point is like, you know, what all the what ifs? You know, what if somebody laughs? What if someone passes away? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've had to do that, right? And part of that, getting to that place, we had to do a valuation on the businesses. You know, it was pretty interesting to see like, oh, if we were to actually sell off

what it would look like. And one of the things that everybody said is, even if we got paid 10 acts of what the even the valuation is, like, what would you guys do? And we all agreed, like, I'd still want a podcast. I still wouldn't want to not do that. So all the money in the world being paid out to us wouldn't make a difference on we still doing this or not.

That to me is a real good sign that you're aligned with what you should be doing. Whatever amount of money that someone could pay you for, it doesn't even matter you would still do it, whether you're not getting paid or you got paid all in the money of the world and you don't necessarily need to work anymore, would you still get up and go to work?

People don't realize like when we started the podcast, we were all working. Okay, I had my personal training studio. Justin was training. Adam was doing his own business and we're building a social media business on the side at that time. All of us had full-time Doug was selling insurance. We were all working full-time. And what we used to do is we would meet first in Doug's living room and then in a tiny little cramped studio. And we would meet there at like six o'clock at night

or whatever after we worked, so after our full days of work. And we would sit there and record till 10 o'clock at night. And we got paid nothing. And we got paid nothing. We got paid nothing for a full year of just sitting in, we had no podcast experience, no media experience.

I mean, you asked us then, we thought we would have been great, but the reality is the odds were way against us. But one thing I remember about that was we would come in and end of the day, I'm tired. As soon as I walk in, we start talking on the mics. We're talking about health. We're talking about fitness.

We'll talk about, you know, self-improvement and lifting weights and all the stuff that we love talking about and talking to each other. And four hours, five hours, we felt like 10 minutes. It was like 10 minutes. It was gone. And that was crazy to me. It's like, you know. Definitely figure out how to monetize it.

It's like, you know. I think we figure out how to monetize it. Yeah. It's like, you know what though, that we led with one of the other important points that we met or pointed out though. Like the desired outcome was really to provide as much free valuable information. It was serving others. Yeah, definitely.

It really was. And it wasn't like, okay, how are we gonna turn this into a cash cow and how are we gonna make a bunch of money? It's like, hey, listen, there is a lot of bad information out there, we've got a ton of experience, and we want to shed light on that and give to all these people. We'll figure out if it's meant to be a business late.

I'd looked at it as super valuable just for my clients. I mean, I was still training all these clients, and I would have these conversations with them after we were done with our sessions. It was an extension of that. It felt like to me, I always like to be available if I know something to pass it on to somebody, and that's really rewarding. And I felt like, this is what we were doing

in the beginning, so it didn't feel like we were working. Right, right. Now the next one, this one kind of goes back to what you were talking about earlier, Adam, when you said, if you pass and you want a stadium full of people, it's asking yourself, what is going to be your legacy? How do you want to be remembered? I think this can kind of shed light a little bit

in terms of what your purpose may be. What are the things you want to be remembered for if you were to pass away in a year? Is it because do you want to be remembered for having the biggest biceps, being the most shredded for being the most fit, having the most money? Probably not.

It's probably something like, I'd like to be remembered by people, if I think off the top of my head, I'd like to be remembered as being someone who's kind. I'd like to be remembered as somebody that was in afraid to stand up for other people. I would like to be remembered by my children and my grandchildren as being somebody that led the way.

The legacy, I think is important. That legacy question, I think it helps us take things off that we think maybe we're driven towards and we think, wait a minute, maybe that isn't my purpose. I really care if I'm, by that thing right there. Yeah, it's stuff with more substance, you know, that's what lasts. And that's, I think to, like, to me, it speaks like integrity. And that's a big one for me.

I want to be remembered, you know, for sort of following the values that I hold dear and being consistent with that, and also being kind and being fair. And, you know, those types of things that I wanna be a better model and example for my kids to look at, you know, like where I got to, so that way, that to me has way more meaning and more legacy.

And then if anybody else looks at that as an example and can benefit, then I'm even more happy. And then if anybody else looks at that as an example and can benefit, then I'm even more happy. I feel like mine summed up in one word. I want to be remembered as a great leader. And a lot of the things that we're talking about in order to be a great leader, you need to encompass all these things.

We had a recent episode too about being a great dad. The same thing, the attributes that it takes, I think to be a great father, I think thing. The attributes that it takes, I think, to be a great father, I think the ways to find purpose, all these attributes, I think, are all encompassing in being a great leader. If you've got this all kind of figured out, I think you'll lead a life like that, and others will look to you like that.

And I think that that's where this comes from with the whole narcissistic sounding stadium thing, right? It's like, it's not that I want to be famous at all. I just, I want to have let a life where others had looked up to what I had provided or given to them, like a life of service that everybody goes, oh my God, he was kind, oh my God, he was humble, oh, he was strong, he was confident, he gave me this,

I have all, I want people to have received a ton from me and feel that way that I'd never asked for anything in return. And then that's their way of coming there and showing us. Oh, you end up leaving people better often had you not been around. That's the legacy. I'm talking to my grandfather a couple of weeks ago, you know, my grandfather now is, you know, he's up there in age, he's 89 and he's now has stage four prostate cancer and it's in his bones and he's doing okay right now, but,

you know, it's obviously we're being faced with the fact that my grandfather is probably not going to be around much longer and he's being faced with that. And I was sitting with him at the dinner table and I'd never had him tell me like really, you know, from beginning to end, how he came to America, what that whole process looked like. And I mean, what a tough situation. I mean, he first had to go to,

he was very, very poor, had to go to Venezuelan, and his wife was behind in Italy and he'd send her back money, and then she came on a boat to meet him there, and they both went back to Sicily. Then he came to America, and he came through, you he came through Chicago and then eventually made it to California. So he's telling me this whole story of how we worked and he cleaned movie theaters.

He was a custodian at schools. He worked in factories and he's telling me this whole story and then he gets a little teary-eyed and he says, you know, Sally goes, well, right now, because, you know, we all, my whole family was there. He goes, I look at my house and it's full with all my kids, all my grandkids, and even some of my great-grandkids. And he goes, I could die right now and I'll be very happy.

He goes, this is the legacy that I left that I started. I mean, incredible, right? And I thought to myself, yeah, that I started, and I mean, incredible, right? And I thought to myself, yeah, that sounds, that sounds like a pretty damn good purpose. Now this next one I think helps you find your purpose because I know this is a challenge for some people. I think sometimes people sit around and, what's my purpose, what am I doing, what's the deal?

You know what can help a lot is to surround yourself with people who seem to be driven by a sense of purpose. It really does help. It helps a lot. Contagious. It is totally contagious. I mean, if you surround yourself with people who don't seem to have any direction or sense of purpose, you know, you're probably going to fall in the same situation, or at least if you don't have a sense of purpose, yeah, it'll be hard to find one one Especially if you're around other people who don't have one themselves

You are the sum of the five people Yeah, you're an average of the people the five people you spend the most time with and I believe in that I believe that in that from everything from financially spiritually all the things that you could Talk about that those people what they make up you are an average of all of that for sure. And I wish I understood that better, even younger. It took me a while, probably my mid-20s before this started to come together for me, and it probably took me into my 30s

before I really, really figured it out and evaluated it more often, because it's hard. You know, a lot of us are attached to certain people for whatever reason. And many times, by the way, the things that draw us together are shit that has to do with insecurities and stuff, stuff that you are dealing with. And so you're drawn to that person

because you guys find that in common, right? So you guys can both bitch about it. Yeah, it's true. And even if you don't intentionally do that, subconsciously, it's natural for us to gravitate to others that we are a lot alike. And so if you're still young, and you attach yourself to the circle of people that are all struggling with the same shit you are, it's a quick easy way for you to get stuck in that place for a very long time. You want to be reaching for people that are reaching for,

to be a better person and to be do better in their life. And so evaluating that circle five all the time I think is extremely important. Well, what it is, is if you're hanging around a bunch of people who are not purpose driven, who don't challenge you, you're comfortable, you're definitely comfortable, it's easy, you know, you might feel like you're the best. You're sitting in a room full of...

I'm not growing. You're sitting around in a room full of guys and girls that aren't doing much with their life, and you think, hey, it's not so bad, I'm not doing so bad, and you know, I'm not, I know I haven't gone very far, I don't have much drive, but whatever, so these people all around me,

it's definitely uncomfortable to constantly be surrounded by people who are driven by purpose, because it'll challenge you to look on yourself. And it's hard when you are not feeling driven, not feeling a sense of purpose, not doing the things that we just said in this podcast, and then you're surrounded by people who do, you know, you're surrounded by people

who have all your similar circumstances and yet they continue to do these other things. That'll make you uncomfortable. So it's not necessarily easy, but it is extremely valuable. So this is why it's good to surround yourself with purpose-driven people, because it'll constantly challenge you to be that person yourself. Look, Mind Pump is recorded on video as well as audio, so you can come check us out on YouTube, Mind Pump Podcast.

You can also find all of us on Instagram, including Doug, the producer. You can find Doug at Mind Pump, Doug, Justin at Mind Pump, Justin, me at Mind Pump, Sal, and Adam at Mind Pump, Adam. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy, and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbundle at MindPumpMedia.com. The RGB Superbundle includes maps and a ballad, maps performance, and maps aesthetic.

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