Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 1820: How to Choose the Perfect Workout Partner

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

In this episode Sal, Adam & Justin talk about workout partners, whether you need one and how to pick the correct one for you. Should you have a workout partner, and why the guys don’t have them (1:38) Working out with your significant other (9;00) How to pick the perfect workout partner (11:02) Are you a leader or a follower (13:55) When the workout becomes all about correction (18:03) Do you have similar goals? (24:04) When it’s time to break up with your workout partner ( 26:04) The No drama partner (32:24) Why it might be a good idea to workout alone ( 35:04) Are you getting a  meditative workout (39:16) Layout your expectations before you start ( 42:03)  Related Links/Products Mentioned Ask a question to Mind Pump, live! Email: [e-mail] May Promotion: MAPS Starter Bundle and MAPS Spilt 50% off! **Promo code MAYSPECIAL at checkout** Visit Legion Athletics for the exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Code MINDPUMP at checkout**

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mind, hop, mind, hop, with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. You just found the world's number one fitness health and entertainment podcast. This is Mind Pump, right? Today's episode we talk about workout partners. How do you find the perfect workout partner? How do you break up with your workout

partner? And maybe you should just work out alone. Now this episode was brought to you by one of our sponsors, Legion. Legion makes some of the best high performing supplements you'll find anywhere. Supplements that will help you build muscle recover faster, help you with your appetite. This is for hardcore athletes, people body sculpting, really, really good product line. It's lots of integrity. So what the label says, it's what's in the bottle. There's no mysterious proprietary blends.

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Let's talk about whether or not you should have a workout partner. Well, let's start with you because you have set on the show that I did. I know you hate training partners. I never like to work out with training partners. Why do you hate them so much? Okay, well, first of all, let me be clear and honest. The first probably five to eight years,

I would say eight years tops. I had a workout partner and all kinds of different workout partners. But I was also at a very different phase in my training career and also my level of knowledge and understanding how to train and how to program was minimal, still even at year five, I would say. Once that came full circle and I realized like, oh, what do I, what does my body need? And what should I be doing? I started to realize quickly like,

oh, the advantages of having a workout partner actually feed into what I shouldn't be doing more than they feed into the things I should be doing. Let me guess, you're talking about, I used to think the same thing. Well, I needed training partners. How am I going to do force reps? Yeah, how am I push myself? Yeah, yeah. And I needed same thing. Well, I needed training partners. How am I going to do force reps? Yeah, how am I going to push myself?

Yeah. And I needed for safety because I need a spotter there. I mean, I'm doing so much weight. It was centered around pushing yourself, spotting, and motivation. The three things I probably talked the most shit about now. Yeah. So when you hear me say that, because I know I always get people

that like, because there's, I know there's people. Because there's lots of people that have great, have great experience. There's lots of people that have incredible workouts with their partner and they've got they've created a consistency around it and that that statement is not for you and if that's whatever it's this my own experience and What where I've come full circle in my training regimen and I at one point was very attached to having workout partners and would say the same things. Like, oh, I'm so consistent because I know someone else got to be there and I'm a type person where we say we're gonna meet at six,

I'm not the type of guy who just, I'm not flaky. Like, and even if I don't wanna go because I know I'm committed to seeing him, I'm gonna go. Right, so I could make the case why it was so great early on, but later on, I realized that these forced reps and training to failure and this intense training or following just what the other guy was doing were all the wrong things for me.

Yeah, I've had training partners. I'd say 90% of my workout career is on my own. 10% have had workout partners. And I've had good and bad experiences. Some of the worst I can think of, there was one guy I worked, I won't say his name, but there was one guy I worked out with where it was a constant ego fest.

And really what it was was, I was way more advanced and I was way stronger than he was. So I had to watch the sky constantly add weight to his bar, shorten his reps to crappy form, because he wanted so bad to lift the weight that I would lift. And then being a trainer, it was like, it just ruined my workout.

He also had a chalkboard for you. So I'm like, come on dude, and I would say to him, you should probably go lighter, no, I could do it. And I'm watching him do this shitty form. And then we're in a gym and people are watching. And I'm like, dude, I wanna wear a shirt this

as I'm not working out with this guy. And I'm like, I don't know him. So he was terrible. And then I've had great workout partners. And you know what's funny, the few workout partners that have had that were good, were all women. And it's interesting.

And it's because it's about your strength level. No, yeah. Hey, dude, I tell you. No, stupid. What it was was that there was no ego involved because it was understood that the weights were gonna be much different. I'm not trying to lift as much as them in vice versa

and it kept me smooth with my workout. Versus when I work out with a guy, now I just told you about the worst one, but let versus when I work out with a guy, now I just told you about the worst one, but let's say I work out with one of you guys, and you guys are smart, you know what you're doing. Inevitably, if I worked out with you guys in week and week out, I'm probably gonna push myself harder than I should,

more often than not, because we're closer in strength and we're more likely to subconsciously the competitiveness is still there. You can't really think, deny it. You know, the competitiveness is still there. You can't really deny it. That's the part about it. It's so subconscious that you don't, I don't even feel like I realize

until after the workout. And I feel like I was not playing. I beat myself up. Yeah, like your friends, like you know, if I worked out with Justin and we're doing a thing and we're both smart, we know what we're doing. And I'm like, yeah, I'm think I'm done.

And Justin's like, I'm gonna do three more sets. There's something inside of me. Or you can do more. Yeah, something inside of me's like, oh, well, I'll do some too, or whatever. Yeah, it's a plate to the bar. And I'm gonna be like, well, all right, I'll try a couple reps with, you know, that ends up having,

but when I worked out with women, first off, women are less likely to do the ego lifting. That's just the fact, okay, it's just my experience. Yeah. And second, the strength differential was so big that they weren't trying to catch up to me because it was, it was futile. And I wasn't trying to catch up with them, so we would do appropriate weight and it was just a much better, more effective workout.

So yeah, I've had a few workout partners in my day, but it really never aligned. It just, it would last for maybe like a month, and it was the inconsistency factor or it was the just discrepancies between the, the amount of weight we're lifting. And it just, and then the whole time I just felt like I was leading directing the entire workouts every single time. And they just got exhausting. Like you're trained to do this to myself. Like why am I, exactly, why am I just training? And again, a lot of times I'd want to kind of pull my friends in because I felt like, you know, this is also a way that I can help kind of get them in shape while I'm working

on myself, but you just get burned out. And it totally kind of changes the dynamic of what workout means to me. Well, you just said something to that reminds me of like the transition I made later on in my lifting career of my training being this like beating myself up versus something almost more meditative. So as I got later in my career,

it became like my sanctuary like to go and workout. And so having a partner that I had to talk to or plan the workout for like it would disrupt that. So, and I know you talk a lot about that now. Like that's you of all of us, you know, swear by I have to have my hour because it is your place to center yourself. It's your no distractions.

Right there. Yeah, and I can totally relate to that because later on in my lifting career, that's what my workouts tend to be now. They're more therapeutic, I would say, than they are chasing goals or PRs. I don't want somebody in my, I definitely don't want a friend who's telling me about the drama with his girlfriend or the bull shit he's dealing with at work when I'm trying to be in this like, you know, meditative

state where I'm like working inward on myself or I'm just being relaxed or I'm just thinking about the way being present. Yeah. So what we're all doing right now, believe it or not, is we're actually making the case for why you should, if you do have a workout partner, you should pick the perfect workout partner

because everything we listed, really what we're pointing to is the fact that we've worked out with a workout partner that didn't, that weren't perfect for us. Like you just said, I don't want to talk about drama. I'm not there to talk to somebody. Well, imagine if you had a workout partner that understood that.

They showed up, fist bump, headphones on, we do our thing. Like, picking the perfect workout partner is, to me, like it goes like this. This is gonna sound funny, but it's like, you pick your spouse. That's very important. Your business partner, workout partner. Like it's, it's up there. Like, of how important it is that you pick your spouse, that's very important. Your business partner, workout partner. Like it's up there, like of how important it is

that you pick the right person because it could make or break your workout, it could cause injury or help you prevent injury, it could get you better results or worse results. I'll tell you one that almost never works. Now, for me, this worked out well because I did work out for a while with my wife and we were great workout partners out partners was a good time, but usually, usually as a trainer and a gym manager, whenever I'd see

couples work out together or a husband and a wife or a boyfriend or girlfriend, they're like, yeah, we're gonna work out together. I remember I would always think, oh boy, this is not gonna work out for it. And it almost never did. It never did for me. It almost never did. Katrina was the first ever. So for 30 years of my life, no girlfriend training at all, never worked out. Because for me, it was, and this is my experience, right? So I take training very seriously

and everything down to the mechanics, to the flow of the workout, to the rest periods, and things like that. And that's like, I've learned to internalize that. I don't have to verbalize it when I'm working out myself, but when I have another person who, and with a partner, a girlfriend, or spouse, that tends to get disrupted a lot.

And then when I would try and like get us on track, like they would giggle, or I think it's funny that I would be so serious about it. And then it would just be, it would never ended well. So early on, I figured that out. I was like, no, I won't do that. Well, I've seen just managing gyms. I've signed up couples before and they're like, yeah, we're gonna work out together. And I, you know, I'd sign them up, of course. And that, but I think they're back in my head like, all right, we'll see how this works out.

Yeah. And I've seen them, you know, like arguments on the workout floor or whatever happened the day before carries over into the workout or one of them is more serious. The person takes a personal. It always starts with like the pushup, claps together. Stupid, the crunching kisses, and then the fight. It just doesn't work. Yeah, it just usually doesn't work,

but if it does, it works out great. So I think what we should do is talk about how to pick the perfect workout partner because we're really making the case that picking the wrong person can really ruin your fitness and your workout. Just like picking the wrong spouse can ruin your life, you want to pick a good workout partner.

So, one thing to consider is this, and you have to, by the way, all the things that we're going to go through here, you have to be very honest with yourself, because I'm about to say something, and I know most people are gonna think one thing but the truth is half are in one place and half are the other place. So you need to ask yourself honestly, should I work out with someone that's gonna push me or should I work out with someone

that's gonna pull me back a little bit? Now, being honest with myself, the last workout partner I should work out with would be someone who pushes me. Somebody who pushes me, who I already have a tendency to push myself too hard, is going to result in over training, injury, lifting too much weight.

I do not wanna work out with a hype, motivation extreme person. For me, as awesome as that may sound, sometimes it's not gonna work out very well. And I know most people watching this are thinking, yeah, I need someone to push me. Be honest with yourself, because a lot of people actually need someone

to pull them back. That's why I found working out. Yeah, the client that I think needs the push are the client that like has a hard time even finishing a 30 minute workout because they wanna just stop. Like, oh, I'm bored or I'm over it or I don't like this. Like, that person maybe,, but I don't have

the mental discipline yet. Yeah, if you're already like a pretty consistent hardcore training person, like thinking that you need it. I mean, now you're falling into the trap that I fell on when I was in my 20s. I loved it train. I was already trained seven days a week and then I wanted to work out partner

who was going to push me harder in my workout. Like, which is not what that person needs. I probably need someone to pull me back. Right. So pull back would be someone who's like, hey, you're going too heavy or let's slow down a little bit, or let's take a longer rest, or hey, let's try this exercise instead of that. Pushed is like, I think you could do more one more rep.

Or last time you did 10, let's try 11 more. You max out today, bro. Yeah, maybe not that. But you gotta be honest with yourself because they're gonna compliment you or they're gonna be a detriment to you. And I identified, and it took me a long time to figure out that I need someone

that's gonna pull me back more. Someone's gonna keep me, my ego more in check versus push me, because when I work out with the push me type workout partner, it would just not end up for me. Yeah, I totally agree. I'm in the same position where I'd rather have somebody kind of slow me down and you know really focus on the the technical aspects of everything. And I did have

a friend of mine who is a trainer who is really good at that and who would also had a completely different skill set. And so his focus was, you know, he had a lot of martial arts experience and he had a lot of like interesting, unconventional, like lifts he knew and so every now and then he would teach me things, which I thought was very helpful for me to incorporate in the workouts. Yes. Here's another one you should ask yourself, like, do you like to lead the workout or do you want to follow?

Some people, they want to work out with a workout partner and they're going to be like, hey, I want to follow your workout. Like I'll follow your workout. I'll do whatever you say, whatever you do. This is what I enjoy. I don't have to think about it. I feel like that works in the relationship when you've got the friend who's the experienced trainer and you're the software engineer. Well, that's true. That's how it's like, I got my buddy who's like, this is his wheelhouse. So I'm going to let him rock.

That's totally true. And it could work, right? Because if you're both trying to lead, it's not going to, this is why we don't work out together. So, you know, Justin, Adam and myself, we've now had mine pump for seven years. We've worked out, like, what I mean, worked out together, who's we've worked out together, but not together, like, we're all in different parts of the gym. But we've all actually worked out together together, I think two times, if I'm not mistaken. Less than five, for sure. Yeah, definitely less than five for that reason right there there because all of us like to lead, I don't want to work out with someone

who's gonna lead the workout. I want to do my workout. If you want to follow me cool, if not, then go do your own thing. But someone may be the opposite. Someone may be like, hey, I want to show up and do someone else's workout. And that's totally fine.

And you also want to ask yourself, like, do I want to follow because I need more of this particular thing in my workouts? Like mobility, for example, or flexibility, or power lifting, maybe those are things that you, you know, you should incorporate, and you work out with someone's good at those things. So you're just like, I'm just going to follow your workout. Yeah. Have you guys, can you think of times where you act? Because I, obviously, you guys naturally want to lead the workout. So how often have you found yourself wanting to follow someone's workout?

I've worked with people who helped me with flexibility, but it was a flexibility workout. So it wasn't a strength training. So we'd show up and then I'd let them lead me through yoga or flexibility and it worked out really well for me because I'm not going to lead that and I'm probably not going to do it. Yeah, when I was first learning kettlebells, I worked with some of my friends who were very proficient in them and so I would let them sort of take me through what a workout would consist of if I just used that one tool and really worked on the technique of everything.

But honestly, once I got one session, I was like, okay, I'm going to go work on all this myself. That's just how I am, but I definitely appreciate when somebody has a really good skill set that I could learn something from. I look at that as an opportunity, but in terms of having to have somebody lead me and guide me through the whole process of getting better at it, no thanks. Yeah, no, those are the only times I can think about where I didn't want to lead the workout,

where it's just purely, I actually am curious and I want to learn from this first. So I mean, I've had the opportunity to work out with Ben Pukolsky, Paul Czech, like we've had some people like that that I've had the opportunity to lift with. And when I'm with someone like that, who I have a lot of respect

For their knowledge their experience. That's about the only time Robick Oh, you know, I'll think it back so you know what I think I want to do today Let's just see where he takes me and see what he's into because I might pick something up that I like Yeah, and every time I've done that with someone like that I feel like I get something Yeah, like Mike's lemme like I did a few like Uncommercial stuff with him with Bulgarian bags or with kettlebells and it was enlightening, you know, to see like at that high level of technique

what you could, you know, incorporate the workout. Yeah, when I was younger, I had a few, not workout partners, but workouts with people that I follow. There was a story I've told about the power lifters. That was great. I was a young kid. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. And I was just so happy that these guys were allowing me to follow their workout.

I worked out with a body builder one time. Again, as a kid, I think it was 18 or 19. And that was super awesome because I just followed his, where I was way inappropriate from his way too much volume. But I learned things. I learned some stuff. I learned certain exercises. I learned how to connect to certain muscles and squeeze, and so that was really fun.

So I can see the value in it, just that this is my profession, same thing with you guys. So we're definitely biased towards the lead side than we would be towards the fall. Well, I also think this matters where you're at in your journey, too. And like, the next point that you bring up is talking about the connection, right,

in the workout, or the potential workout partner. Like, there could be a time in my life and there's definitely been this where I'm working out, like, no, we just came out of this not that long ago where I was working out quite a bit with Katrina. And it was really more about the experience with her and my son and lifting. Like, I really, I actually had no routine at all.

It was like, you know, whatever she was doing, I would what I actually had no routine at all. It was like, you know, whatever she was doing, I would I would move the bar, whatever, like if it was a way movement, yeah, yeah, if she was squatting, maybe I could overhead press that weight. And so I would be overhead pressing. And then she get the suspension trainer out. Okay. Now, I'm doing suspension trainer stuff. And then taking breaks playing with Max at his table and his play dough. And like, so, you so you know there's there I think it's important that I know that I rail on the I don't want to work out partner. Yeah when I'm on my specific kick and I'm trying to hit goals and I'm saying but then there's times when the connection when or

a bond with a friend where I just good point more about that communication and meeting with someone do choosing to do something healthy and growth-minded and good for us for an hour and a half with a friend, who gives a shit what we're doing for the day. Every year after Thanksgiving, I do this with all my good friends. That's where we get together, that's where we get together. And it's not about the workout.

Yeah, we're not trying to progress, sir. No, but it's about connecting with them. And you gotta ask yourself, do I want to work out with this partner? Because I want to spend time with them and we're doing something that, ask yourself, I do what, do I wanna work out with this partner? Because I wanna spend time with them and we're doing something that's pretty healthy. This is where I think, this work couples get mixed up because usually one person in the relationship wants that

and the other person wants to work out. So it's like, you know, the wife or the husband's like, yeah, I get to hang out with my, my significant other and the other person's like, yeah, we get to work out. And then you kinda get that, but I'm gonna get that. So you have to ask yourself, I might hear for the workout or is it the connection with the partner?

There's no wrong answer here. There isn't, but it's important to distinguish the difference because if one of the things that you're frustrated with or challenged with is you're not progressing and you're not seeing results, well, it could be because you're so focused on the connection, you're going to the workout and catching up with your girlfriend or your friend and talking, which there's nothing wrong with that if that's your desired outcome. But if you're also struggling with progressing because maybe you're programming sucks because you guys go there with just like, I know I'm not making major gains in those workouts

with my son and my wife. But it's not about that for that time. So I'm not allowing those to compile three weeks in a row and then go and like, well, am I not seeing results? Why is my bench down or why am I not leaner? I'm not even thinking about that right now, but if you are thinking about that,

and then you're also working out for the connection's purpose, it's important that you understand the difference there because that could be a problem. Now, I'll tell you what, managing gyms, I saw lots and lots of consistent, consistent meaning like three, four days a week, same time every week for years of workout partners that were there for the connection.

And it was wonderful because they would show up, they'd meet each other, you could tell they'd have a good time, and then they'd always have like a scheduled lunch or something afterwards. And you could tell, I talked to them, and you could see in the workouts, like it wasn't super hardcore, but they were still exercising, but they'd meet up, and it's could tell, I talked to them, and you could see in the workouts, like it wasn't super hardcore, but they were still exercising, but they'd meet up, and it's, oh, I get to see my friend, and afterwards we grab coffee.

And it's great, I think this is wonderful for the average person. Like the average person is not a fitness fanatic, right? That's just, you know, so in love with fitness that it's all about the workout. Like for me, that's what workouts are all about, but a lot of people are just, they struggle with being consistent. The workout is good because it improves the quality

of life, not necessarily because they love the workout itself. So then they find that this workout partner that's a good friend of theirs, they like to meet up three days a week at whatever time, 6am, they do their workout to get coffee together, then they go to work or whatever, or they work out, you know, they put the kids to bed and they meet up. And I knew a few women like this, they would meet up, and they were friends and they'd hang out, and it kept them super consistent.

And sure, the workouts weren't like all super hard core, but they maintained good health because... The playing the long game, right? It's a lifestyle at that point. That's it. So there's totally nothing wrong with it. No, I mean, and there's all kinds of different ways you can construct this.

But I've seen the same thing in the gym where it just became a thing. Like it's an activity that's a consistent thing that they go see their friend instead of them meeting up at a bar or doing these other extracurricular things that maybe are not as healthy of an option. They've decided to meet up at the gym and then make an experience around that. So, you know, there's no knocking it in terms of having a partner and a workout partner. It's just really like sometimes you do need to dial it in. And so what that looks like, you know, you got to kind of assess if it's moving the needle for you. Yeah, I'm never working out, almost never working out for the connection with the workout partner. For me, it's always about the workout.

My dad, the longest, most consistent he ever was with working out was because never working out for the connection with the workout partner. For me, it's always about the workout. My dad, the longest, most consistent he ever was with working out was because he worked out with his friend. His friend had that moving, and then he stopped working out. But for years, I managed a club up in Sunnyvale. My dad, and he would drive all the way up to Sunnyvale because that's where I work, so we got to see me. So my dad would drive all the way up with this friend, they'd come in, and I'd watch some workout,

and they did some exercises workout and they did some exercises And they did some stuff But you could tell it was because they were hanging out with each other They were childhood friends and then they'd go afterwards and grab some food at the restaurant, you know Next door or whatever and it was great because it kept them super consistent for me never because I'm here for the workout If I want to hang out with someone to connect it's not gonna be in the gym I'm gonna go out with you somewhere else. Go for a walk. Yeah, we'll do something else, but you have to be honest with yourself, in other words,

because what you don't want to do is find a workout partner that's there to hang out with you while you're there to work out. Now you're going to have a crappy, so you're going to have to eat your yolks. You're there to make change, right? That's what, I think that's the important thing to note is that I think there's nothing wrong with it.

If you're completely content and happy and this just helps you stay consistent with quote unquote working out, but if you're trying to make progress or change and that you're lagging or you're not seeing the change you want, well, you have to evaluate. It'll feel frustrating. If you're there and you're real serious and your friend just wants to hang out, very, very frustrating, right? The next one, here's another one, is, do you have similar goals or different goals? By the way, there is no right answer here.

Some people would say, you have to have the same goals. Not necessarily. Sometimes it's good to work out with someone whose goals compliment yours. Like, if I worked out, for example, with, you know, Justin, it would be very complimentary in some ways because he does stuff that I don't do and I do stuff that he doesn't do And if we worked out together and let's just say everything else matched then it would work out really well

On the flip side maybe you You don't have no desire to try different things. You have no desire to work on weaknesses or imbalances or whatever You're there to do your workout and you want to work out with someone who's also there to do the same thing as you, in which case that's the person that you want to pick, but you have to figure this out for yourself. Yeah, this one's a challenge because I can see pros and cons to both. I can see pros and cons to similar goals. I can see pros and cons to different goals. The obvious right with similar goals, you're training the same type of probably frequency and muscle group split or body part, like whatever with similar goals, you're training the same type of probably frequency and muscle group split or body part, like whatever you're doing, like probably can align

pretty well. Problem with similar goals is when you have similar goals, and it's easier to get into that competitive mindset when you're lifting. Yes. And maybe, you know, Sal and I are workout partners. We are on this body sculpting goal or following maps of aesthetics, so we're doing the exact same thing. I got terrible sleep last night, and he got phenomenal sleep last night and feels completely rejuvenated and ready to smash the weight. So real easily, we have the same goals, we're falling the same

program, real easily for me to fall in the trap of like, I'm just gonna stick with what you're doing today because of that, because we have everything so somewhere, but me knowing, like, okay, this is a day when I should scale back a little bit on the intensity because I got terrible sleep last night, I'm not well fed, whatever the case may be. So yeah, I can see the pros and cons to both.

And I think it's important to know the difference. Totally. Now let's talk about when you know, or how to know when it's time to break up with the workout partner. You know, it's time to break up with the workout part. You know, it's funny about this. I've got DMs on me. You should have to do the wrong one.

Yeah, I laugh at this one too, because I somewhat was behind the influence of my wife actually breaking up with her workout part. Oh, I remember when you went through this. Yeah, and it was awkward. And actually, I mean, there was a lot more there, like in terms of their friendship, that sort of it exposed.

And so it just sort of, they just naturally kind of broke off. But yeah, it was really hard for her to do that. Because there was a lot of time vested and they both were consistent together, but it just was not doing anything well for her body. It's stressful. I've gotten messages from people. How do I tell my work out, and not to work out with them?

I've had people tell me that they changed gyms because they didn't work out with a workout partner, but they wanted to work out at the same time. So they didn't want to show up, see their workout partner and then, huh, I'll be over here and over there. Yeah, she's on them. That's the easiest path.

Yeah, yeah. And I've also had people say that. Show up with a different workout partner. Yeah. You've been getting a pump without me. Yeah. Totally. But here's some signs that you want to look out for that'll tell you that it's probably

time to break up with your workout partner. Number one, your workouts are unproductive. You know, this is why all the workout partners I've worked out with, even the ones that were good eventually ended. And I'm very blunt by the way, I'll tell a workout partner. partners I've worked out with, even the ones that were good eventually ended. And I'm very blunt, by the way. I'll tell a workout partner, and I've done this. I've said this to people and I've said, hey, you're weak.

This is not working for me. I'll tell them, it's not working for me anymore. I want to work out on my own. Yeah. And it's because eventually what happened is the workout started to deteriorate and it just started to become mad as productive. And for me, it's a very serious thing.

And when that starts to happen, I'm like, out of here. So if you're doing your workouts and you're finding they're just not productive, you're just showing up. And it's like, why am I even doing this? Like, that's time. And sometimes your goal is doing a line. And sometimes you start noticing like nagging pains

and achiness. That's another one now. That I think you start kind of evaluating these things and you start seeing the patterns of what you keep doing and what that's leading towards. And so I think that was where it was obvious, just speaking on behalf of my wife, like this is not benefiting my body, like it should be.

Yeah, the next one is you just started, you said nagging pains and stuff is, you start getting injured a lot. I had a workout partner break up with me over this. It was the same person I told you about earlier with the shitty form. He eventually, and it was like, when he said this to me on my head.

A guy with shitty form broke up with you. Yeah, I know. You're like, I tried to warn you. I had a tough one for you that day. Oh, the irony was, the irony was, you're breaking up with me. You went to your shitty form. Yeah.

I'll break up with you first. I could just suck you down on that. No, actually, I was like, you're breaking up with me? You were in your shitty form? Yeah. I'll break up with you first. I can just see suck you down in that. No, actually, I was like, you don't break up with me. I break up with you. The irony of it was so hilarious because I remember, he comes in, he's like, hey, this will be our last workout. He goes, you know, I just keep hurting myself and stuff. And I remember like, look at him, like, with shock.

Like, yeah, bro, how many times I gotta tell you you're using too much weight and you have shitty form. But he's like, yeah, I keep getting hurt. So I got to change my workouts and my workout. I remember being like so happy. Like cool. You said it before. I do it easy. Yeah. But I mean, if you find yourself getting hurt quite a bit, because you're following a workout or you're working out with a workout partner that's just not smart or pushing you when you shouldn't. Like, have you ever done this? I hate this, this annoys me shit out of me. You're doing a set and you've got your work out

with a workout partner and you want to stop the set because you know, this is about as hard as I want to go. No man, you got two more, come on, you got two, shut your mouth, dude. I'm not doing two more, I'm done with my set. The workouts I'm productive and they're getting injured. Both, I think, happen a lot to people that measure their workouts by how much they enjoy them or like them.

So I think of people that love class settings with their friends that like they love it. They go there, it's fun, they sweat, they feel like they got a hard workout, but it's the same shit every single every single time they come in over and over and over and over. They're and the results stall and or chronic pain. Sing sim. Yeah. And it's hard to get them to see past the, but I love it. I meet my girlfriend there every week or every day and we go there

and we have such a great workout. And then we go have, you know, lunch afterwards and they're so attached to the connection part and the consistency and the fun part. But then at the same time, then they're expressing, I'm so frustrated though because this last 15 pounds, I can't seem to lose it. And my knees are bothering me and my hips are bothering me and it's just like, yeah, it's because you've attached so much value to the connection fun part of the workout. Yet you're saying that you want these results and part of the problem is you're doing

the same repetitive shit over. Yeah, the last two, sort of the ones that's like the inconsistency, the showing up late, part like all that, that's what actually led to some of the breakups I had with Jim Partners because it's like, I'm here, I'm like, I don't wanna sit here and like, you know, wait for you when I can be productive and do my own thing, like, I'm here, I'm like, I don't wanna sit here and like, you know, wait for you when I can be productive and do my own thing, like, where are you?

Like, it's just, I don't need to be your generation of motivation, you know, like, I don't need to be that guy for you. Yeah, no, being late or not showing up, you get, this is what I've always been like, this was workout partners, you get one shot. I don't, not like one strike, like one time. You don't show up or one time you're late,

and I'm not working out with you. And I was notorious for this. I would have a workout partner show up 10 minutes late. I'm already on the second exercise. Oh, you don't wait for me. No, man, go do your workout. I'm in this right now. So that's just me.

So, and if you're a consistent person and you're very serious about your workouts, having a workout partner that shows up late or is inconsistent or no shows you, So, and if you're a consistent person and you're very serious about your workouts, having a workout partner that shows up late or is inconsistent or no shows you, that's not good. You got to cut that off. I think that's a big deal. And everybody's different in their tolerance. For me, it was zero.

You get zero opportunities. The second you're late or the second you don't show up, we're not going to work. Yeah, I'm trying to remember if I had anybody like that. I don't know if I had somebody that was showing up late. And if I did, I'm sure I don't remember. You probably just started. Did that's exactly what I would do. No.

Another type of guy would sit around and be like, Oh, give him five more minutes. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead. We said we started 12. I'm starting to 12. You don't say it'd say he can find me. So yeah, I don't remember that one. I do remember the last point that you have is the drama one.

And that was what I said earlier and And I didn't I really didn't make this I just assumed this is just part of it like you have rest breaks You have conversation Whatever's on your guys is mine you talk about and a lot of people like to talk about drama and other people and shit And it's just like that was pretty bad ruins of work. It does now today, because I see it, and I really, and I think I treat my workouts different, but I probably allowed that to creep in a lot more, which didn't, I didn't realize the compounding effects of that of just being distracted like that, the negativity to forget just the workout and the results, just the positive mindset and the framework of your day and the way

you go about things, taking in a bunch of negative energy like that, I believe that's a terrible way to kick off a day or at finish a work. Yeah, and this is, again, this is an individual thing because I can't remember, there were two, there's two of these two women I remember specifically when we talked earlier about connection. There's these two women that used to work out

and it was every morning, and they would drop their kids off at school, then they come work out, then they'd get breakfast together. And it was like a four or five day week thing, I think. And I would say hi to them, hey, what's up ladies? And they do their thing. And for them, because it was a connection thing, they would spend five minutes in between sets

talking about their lives. And it wasn't drama to them. They loved it because they were there to connect. So this you have to kind of determine for yourself. For me, any conversation, you know, longer than 15 seconds in between sets is too much drama. Like I don't care. I don't want to hear about anything right now.

I just want to just be in my zone, right? So you have to kind of determine this for yourself with your workouts is, you know, is this drama? Like am I getting stressed out or angry or upset or off focus? And that's different from person to person. For you drama may be that you're there to connect with someone and they're just quiet

and you might be like, hey, I want to work out with someone that's more talkative and fun, this person is boring. Like someone who's there to connect would find me very boring. They would not like to work out, I'm not going to talk. Well, you know what's interesting about this. It doesn't need to work out, and meekestown I'm not gonna talk. So well, you know what's interesting about this. It doesn't need to work out. Yeah. It reminds me of like the different types of clients you would get as a coach, right?

And like what they're looking for from the workout and like you try to kind of be a chameleon in terms of like, I need to ramp up my energy for this person because they obviously need a push and they need like, you know, some added bit of energy in this. And then some of them you've got to like really, like kind of calm it down, calm down,

and you know, get them to, to really like focus on the rest periods. And, you know, so it's interesting to kind of, all of these apply basically, even when you're going to look for a coach. Oh, 100%. So true. All right, so here's some reasons why

it may be good to not have a workout partner. Why it might be a good idea to work out on your own. One is you get to follow your own workout and your own schedule. It's as individualized as it gets when you're by yourself. You don't have to consider anyone else. You don't have to consider anybody's feelings or form or technique. You don't have to adjust the seat on the exercise machine. You don't have to add the weight or take weight off.

You're not spotting anybody. You are 100% individualized workout. For me, this is why I've worked out 90% of time on my own. I think this is a pretty good value. Now some people, this is well worth the trade to work out with their favorite person and I totally get that. But for other people, this can be a huge plus. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna take it even further. to work out with their favorite person and I totally get that. But for other people, this can be a huge plus. Yeah, I'm gonna take it even further. I believe this is the ultimate place to reach. I know you just defended somebody who would willing

to trade those things off because they really, really, and I'm not by no means judging someone who likes to work out with their workout partner and that works for them. But I really believe the ultimate place to get is to a play, like we talk about intuitive eating and intuitive training. How that's like kind of the pinnacle of eating,

that's the pinnacle of training to where you just know what, when you go to that gym, you know what's best for your body at that time and you do a really good job of addressing it. I just don't think that's possible with another person. I think you can get really good job of addressing it, I just don't think that's possible with another person. I think you can get really good at it

and you can have the partner, you have fist bump and you do your headphones and this and that, but I think you'll never reach the same level as you would learning to do this on your own and learning your body and not having any distractions of any workout partner. So that's just my opinion that I think that that. I agree with that, the only problem with that,

but I do agree, but I think the only problem with that is that we have to be careful because, I mean, look, we've all worked in the space for a long time. We can't, we know this, not everybody's gonna be a fitness fanatic. Most people are not. Most people do it. And that's fine because,

and you may be your entire life, you do rely on having a partner, and I'm not judging that person that does that. What I'm saying is that I think the pinnacle, and that person, there's a lot of people that will work out and never reach the pinnacle of. And they have no desire.

Yeah, right, exactly. So, and they don't have a desire too, and I'm not judging that person, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I truly believe if you're somebody who is seeking like the ultimate like level of being able to train and die It's with that it is being able to do this Intuitively on your own without anybody external motivation or discipline to get you there just you and yourself The ability to listen to your body to know what's best for you, to be able to complete sets when you need to,

to pull back, when you know you need to pull back, like to push it. Yeah, and I think that's what happens when somebody does it long enough, and then they reach the level of, I really have a passion for fitness. That's usually where they end up, right? But a lot of people,

what I don't wanna do is discourage people because they're like, oh well, I don't care about of people, what I don't wanna do is discourage people because they're like, oh well, I don't care about that. No, no, no, there's different faces, man. And if you're at that phase of more power to you and utilize that, it's a tool, right? Yeah, I just want people to be consistent, you know? Yeah, and a workout partner can absolutely be a tool and be tremendously helpful for you.

I just, my point is that I think if you're continuing to progress beyond that, the ultimate place to reach is to be able to intuitively do it by yourself. Another reason is you don't have to wait for anybody or depend on anybody, but this also could be a positive for working out with a training partner because maybe the fact that somebody depends on you is what keeps you more consistent. Maybe you like that. Maybe you like the fact that there's, you have somebody that's doing this with you. For me, I don't like that because again, I'm a fitness fanatic.

Like, all three of us are. I don't want, I don't want it to be wait for anybody. I don't want to sit and know we're going to meet at this time and here's what's going to happen. It's just me. It's just me. I'm going to do my thing. But again, it's for some people, it's the opposite and it's actually to happen. It's just me. It's just me. I'm going to do my thing. But again, it's for some people, it's the opposite. And it's actually a detriment. And for them,

it makes them more consistent knowing, oh, John's, you know, he needs me. He needs me today to show up to work out. And this is what we're going to do together. Here's another one. And this for me is a big deal. And we mentioned earlier, if you want a meditative workout, you can't do that with someone else. It's, I can't be be, like again, and we're all like this. We've all worked out at the same time, probably 50 times. We've only worked out together, like, less than five times. When we work out at the same time, we're all meditative in our own space.

We're in different corners of the gym. Different corners of the gym. No one's talking to each other. You may as well. We don't say a single word to each other, right? If anything, it's like, I may talk shit to you for two seconds across the gym. And that's, I have to catch you with your headphones off

and my inner off, and that almost never happens. Well, does that count? I mean, if you get to that level where you know yourself so well and you're working out with, like, when you're friends, but you guys split off, but you just you just like make it a scheduled appointment where you both come in. Sure, I mean, and so I mean, I think there's a way that you could probably evolve into that, but you really do need to put in a lot of work on yourself and knowing your body signals and knowing like how you feel for that day.

I actually think that's, I thought that was the kind of final progression before it ended up being just myself. Was I did that for quite some time? You just showed up together. Yeah, I actually did that when I was competing. I had other competitors that were competing in shows that I was in and so like that. Cause I like being around other people and doing for sure. And it was like accountability piece.

Hey, what time you go to the gym tomorrow? Like I'll be there noon. Cool. I'll be there noon all day. Would you guys meet up and eat or something afterwards? Yeah, we eat afterwards, but we would not train together. Or maybe we'd be walking on the treadmill afterwards. That's not bad. So having an appointment after the workout together, right?

That might be a good account. Right, so I did, I did like utilizing that as like an accountability piece to go there and a motivational piece. I know somebody else who's pushing for a same show as I'm going to is there, but I'd already breached a place in my life or in training where I knew that I knew what's best

for my body. He doesn't know that. We're to have different bodies. We shouldn't be working out together, especially at this level, what we're doing. So we would just meet there for accountability, train, walk treadmills afterwards, and then we'd go eat at this place

that was right across the street. So that I see, I think, and I really think that that's like you're right there. You're pretty much training by yourself. You're not really you know you're meeting someone at the gym but you guys aren't getting distracted. You're not spotting each other. You're gonna do it on that. Yeah, and now that again that being said I've known quite a few people not not a majority the majority of the people that I know that have worked out very consistently and up working out alone. But a good, there's a sizable minority, let's say 15% of the people, 20%, that I know who worked out consistently,

who've worked out with a workout partner consistently for a long period of time. But it's really hard to find someone that matches all those things. So here's some advice. When you're agreeing to work out with someone, don't do it haphazardly. In other words, don't be like, yeah, let's meet up.

One day's and one's days don't work out together. And because then you'll end up in the situation where it's like, okay, now I gotta break up with this person. And it could be awkward. What do you say to them? What if they still show up at the same time? Do you guys just like do your own thing? Like it's really weird, we gotta change gyms.

So what, here's a piece of advice. Lay out your expectations before you start. Hey, I was thinking about working out with a workout partner. Is this something you'd be up for? Yeah, well, here's the times. Here's what I'm looking for. And here's what I'll do, and I'll stop.

If these things aren't meant, don't take a personal. This is just how I work out. This is how I've, the last few training partners how I started those workouts. I say, hey, you wanna work out to you? Yes. Here's a deal. If you show up late once, I workouts. I say, hey, you wanna work out together? Yes. Here's a deal. If you show up late once, I'm getting started

and I probably won't work out with you anymore after that. I'm very quiet in my zone on a workout. I'm not following it. And it sound like an asshole, but I would set the expectations so that if one of those things didn't happen afterwards, it wasn't this awkward like. Okay, well, this is the main reason why

we don't work out with Sal, because he came with this long old, this non-negotiable that we had to sign. I was just like, this is way too much commitment for me, bro. I just wanted to get a lift with you this morning. Fuck it. I want to work out with myself.

Yeah. That's totally not true. Look, if you like our information, head over to mindpumpfree.com and check out our guides. We have guides that can help you with almost honey, health, or fitness goal. You can also find us all on social media. So Justin is on Instagram at Mind Pump Justin.

Adam is on Instagram at Mind Pump Adam and you can find me on Twitter at Mind Pump Cell. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbundle at MindPumpMedia.com. The RGB Superbundle includes maps and a ballad, maps for performance, and maps aesthetic.

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