Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 2181: The Dangers of Aggressive Dieting, the Truth About Orange Theory Fitness, How to Strength Train for Jiu Jitsu & More (Listener Live Coaching)

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

In this episode of Quah (Q & A), Sal, Adam & Justin coach three Pump Heads via Zoom. Mind Pump Fit Tip: When all things are equal, a high-protein diet is SUPERIOR. (2:09) How to repair ANY relationship. (27:33) Sal’s NOT a grill guy. (35:28) Who is teaching kids how to be tough anymore? (37:20) Resurrecting childhood videos and reframing things. (48:29) Things you can take with creatine to enhance absorption and make it more effective. (56:13) Shout out to Dr. Becky Kennedy. (59:26) #ListenerLive question #1 - Do you have any recommendations or tips on how to get my metabolism back to normal? I’ve struggled immensely with weight gain post-prep, and I’m having a hard time getting my body back to normal. (1:00:42) #ListenerLive question #2 - How do I take the skills that I have learned from the good coaches I’ve had at Orangetheory and transition that into weight training? (1:14:48) #ListenerLive question #3 - What is the best way to train to support jiu-jitsu? (1:33:29) Related Links/Products Mentioned Ask a question to Mind Pump, live! Email: [e-mail] Visit Butcher Box for this month’s exclusive Mind Pump offer! Visit Legion Athletics for the exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Code MINDPUMP at checkout for 20% off** October Promotion: MAPS Bands | The Skinny Guy ‘hardgainer’ Bundle 50% off! **Code OCTOBER50 at checkout** Visit Magic Spoon for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! How to Use Fasting to Build Muscle, Lose Fat and Improve Health Visit Kreatures of Habit: Meal One for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Code MP25 at checkout** The Single Most Important Parenting Strategy | Becky Kennedy Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be – Book by Dr. Becky Kennedy Visit Organifi for the exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code MINDPUMP at checkout** Mind Pump #1720: The 8 Worst People To Take Diet Advice From Mind Pump #603: Build The Perfect Bikini Body With Melissa Wolf Bikini Competition – Mind Pump Dexa/AI Mind Pump #1237: Why Most Group Exercise Classes Suck ‎Bar Path on the App Store Mind Pump #2165: How To Address Your Food Sensitivities With Dr. Stephen Cabral Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources People Mentioned Shawn Stevenson (@shawnmodel) Instagram   Dr. Becky Kennedy | Parenting (@drbeckyatgoodinside) Instagram Vicki Reynolds (@vicki__reynolds) Instagram Kris Gethin (@krisgethin) Instagram Mike Matthews (@muscleforlifefitness) Instagram Rochelle Lynn Dee (@rochellelynndeephoto) Instagram Grace Barga (@gracebarga) Instagram Dr. Stephen Cabral (@stephencabral) Instagram  

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but this was after an intro portion. Today it was 57 minutes long. That's what we talk about current events, fitness, scientific studies, and much more. By the way, you could check the show notes for timestamps if you just wanna skip around to your favorite parts. Also, you wanna be on an episode like this one, email us your question at live at mimepumpmedia.com. This episode is brought to you by some sponsors.

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maps-fitness-products.com, but you have to use the code October 50 for that discount. All right, back to the show. T-shirt time! And it's T-shirt time! Ah, shit, Doug. You know it's my favorite time of the week.

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Same calorie diet, everything else being equal, training, sleep, all of it. A high protein diet is superior. Check this out, studies show. You'll have better glucose control. In other words, better insulin sensitivity. More muscle, less body fat, and then here's my favorite one. More satiety, meaning less hunger and cravings.

Across the board, a high protein diet is superior. So don't let those media headlines fool you or confuse you. When all things are equal, healthy diet versus healthy diet, a high protein version is better across the board. What's your thoughts on this one today? Just, it's, I think we need to continue to communicate this because protein containing foods continue to get demonized and I think I don't think people quite realize the health

benefits. In fact, I didn't even mention this. Longevity is better with a high protein diet and studies were in the best well-made studies. So I don't think the average person knows that protein is a healthy macronutrient to aim for. I think they know we have bodybuilders like protein, yeah, maybe it builds more muscle. They probably don't know, it'll help them lose body fat. They probably don't know at a control, they're hunger better. They definitely don't know that it'll control

the blood sugar better or it's better for longevity. Those things are just not known. And so- Isn't that interesting how like it's been promoted to us so long vegetables are a health food? Like that's like if you think of, I'm eating healthy now. It's like it's always like the amount of consumption

of vegetables that you're including your diet, which is important. There's a need from a lot of those nutrients, a micronutrients and fiber, and they serve a purpose, but nobody says like meat as a health food. Do you think, Sal, there's a correlation with a lot of the research and studies that support what you're saying

with if you target a high protein diet, most likely you eat a diet that is predominantly meat in there in order to do that. And most meat is whole food and that you naturally are eliminating processed food. You think that there is so that less of it has to do with like, oh, it's just because you're hitting your, which we know, obviously the values of that, right? We, and there is, I know there's research to obviously to support that,

but do you think that there might be a high correlation with just the simple fact that if you eat a high protein diet, most likely you're having to eat more whole foods than you are processed foods, and so then you have this kind of carryover to satiety, fat loss, healthier, longevity, all the above. No, no. So for a while, we weren't sure what the correlations were or if they were actual like

legit correlations. For example, old studies showed that eating a lot of protein was connected to worse health, but really what they did is they didn't control for calories and so people eat the most calories eight more protein in those in those particular studies. I'm talking about the studies where they control everything literally same calories same calories whole foods whole foods you eat Less protein you eat more protein. So all things being equal, the same calorie diet that's high protein results in more muscle and less body fat, okay?

So even though they're both eating, let's say, 2000 calories, more protein equaled more muscle and less body fat, but we also know that protein produces satiety. So you'll probably eat less calories if you really do chase protein. That's number one. Number two, like you said Adam,

protein containing foods, or should we, I guess speculate or say that the average person who eats a mostly processed food diet, the proteins that they get are often are from whole foods. There's not a whole lot of processed food foods that are really high in protein. There's a high protein process food market, but that's usually sought out by consumers

who tend to be either health conscious or muscle building conscious. Like go in the high protein process food segment of any health food store or grocery store and what you'll find is protein bars and protein pancakes and they're all like kind of pointing to or attracting like the health conscious individual. For the most part, people who aren't health conscious so we heavily process foods do so because convenience and taste and protein isn't taste good or not as good as fats and

carbs do. We know that, right? So if you're going to choose processed foods because of flavor and convenience, I'm not going to go with the, you know, whatever low carb high protein chip if that exists. I'm going to go with the regular chip, right? I'm not going to go with the high protein candy. I'm going to go with the regular candy or whatever or pizza or, you know, pancakes. You ever have high protein pancakes? Like, yeah, they're okay, but the regular, high, you know, non-protein ones always taste a little palatable. Pork rinds would be sort of the equivalent to chips. Yeah, there's not a whole lot of options there for regular. Doug was actually eating chicken chips today.

Yeah, I've had those. Yeah, I've had those. They're actually pretty good. I just tried one. They're made with chicken and I think they add cassava flour to them So there's some carbs, but it's all it's a lot of protein. I think these are a hundred percent chicken. Just chicken I think are you sure cuz I had some Chicken you have the wrapper right you just had them. I threw the

Yeah, he was just eating a whole bag like 40 grams of protein and it's like low-calorie 100 calories, right? Yeah, 100 calories 14 grams protein 14 grams of protein 100 14 grams of protein and 100 calories. That's a really good one. But it did okay, but hold on. But like think of the average person, forget us, because we're like, oh cool, I'll try, right? Oh, they won't, oh, they think it's his terrible.

The average person, I like, you hear the people let him eat. Hey, you want some chips? These are chicken chips. Did you see our forum backlash on your chocolate donuts, comments, and so on that? There was only like a couple of people, a lot of people agreed though, so good.

Yeah, I mean, I agree. But there's always somebody like, when you say things, I can always tell when someone comments on when we recommend like a- Oh, with true chocolate donut, I can't tell. No, what? What?

You can always tell how fucked up their diet is. Yeah, exactly. That's how like, because if you eat, you choose the whole foods, 90% of the time, or you've been, you know, you're That's how like, because if you eat, you choose the whole foods, you know, 90% of time or you've been, you know, you're really good at eating, you know, quote unquote, clean. And then you get introduced to some of these, you know, treats as I would think of them as like, you know, a chocolate donut flavored type of protein powder. You're like, oh, wow, this tastes so good.

If you're the opposite, like you're the people to that hate on like magic spooge, oh my god, this is terrible. He's like, oh, god, this is terrible. He's like, oh, of course it is, cause you eat fucking regular cereal and chocolate donuts all the time. So to you, it's like, it's like, it's nothing like. How it's a little skewed.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, and by the way, this is- Context matters. By the way, this is coming from a place, like, and the reason why I can speak to that, is like, I was the same way. Like, I remember feeling that way about fruit and vegetables and people talking about, oh, make this recipe.

And I'm like, oh, this is terrible. Yeah, well, my diet was full of like, yeah, you're not gonna fool me with a protein shake and actual milkshake or ice cream shake or something. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, I'm gonna know. So I had the same conversation with my kids about when we were trying to just drink some of those mineral waters

that have like a little bit of like a fart of flavor on it. Oh yeah. And I'm just like, I like it, you know? And they're like, ugh, ugh. Cause they're drinking like, they're quating it to sprite. And I'm like, it's not even the same universe as that. Like you have to first do like scale yourself down,

go like Zavia, I get some like, you know, Stavia, and then like kind of work your way towards like, not having all of this sugar that you're drinking now Here's what's cool though. I believe the opposite is true and trainable Meaning like once you have like my son is a perfect example of what we're watching unfold right now of being so Consistent with not allowing these things that if you give him him a taste of a soda or something that's like sugar, like high... You werewhelming, right?

It's overwhelming, and he prefers the things that, as other people would be bland and dry, but that's a massive treat for him, so he would prefer us. We've done all the healthier choices his whole life, even a treat that we would do would be our protein peanut butter ball or things like that. And so he's been his palette has been trained for that. What someone else would call it a dull, boring, like magic spoon, like that's the only cereal my son has had is magic spoon.

So if you were to give him like a bowl of lucky charms or one of the, you know, frosted flake is too much, you don't like it. Have him have him eat it though a bunch of times in a row. He'll then his pal will change. That's what I mean, and I've watched his firsthand when I've been on a diet for a long time. I introduce something that is processed or not very good. And then I keep doing it. And then before long, it changes. And then also, and I crave it.

It's wild to watch that. You guys remember that duck was a, it was like a documentary. Super size me. Yeah. Where the guy just ate McDonald's every day. Every day, that's all he ate, just to, and remember he said like at first he was like, oh, it's kind of like whatever,

but then he started to crave it. Yeah. And he's like, oh my God, I feel terrible, but I want more of it. I still want more of it. I mean, that's what'll happen. Because they're so well designed, they're literally hitting your brain with drug-like effects.

Didn't he do that experiment again? I feel like he did another dog commit a follow-up. He did do another one, but I don't remember what it is. I feel so bad from a gone out there. What was the second? You know what? You know what? I do, you know why they get picked on because they're on the top, right?

They're the biggest food chain. Yeah, that's what... But the reality is they're all like that. They're not though anymore. Well, they used to be. They're like, they're like, I con. I haven't been for a long time, though. But they're iconic, you know what I mean? Yeah, they're all like that. Well, they used to be. They're like, they're like I con. I haven't been for a long time though. But they're iconic, you know what I mean?

Yeah, they're iconic. Like I always say. Could some of your king just kind of skates underneath them? You know, yeah. Yeah. You take all the heat, dude. Workable. Yeah, like somebody could literally do that

documentary again with Burger King or even in and out. Taco Bell, dude. Oh, it was part two. Super size me too. What did he do on the second one? With chicken? With chicken. Oh, fried chicken.

Yeah, yeah, he could be that with fried chicken. I mean, he's got any fast food. What was his desired outcome in the second one? He just the same thing, right? I'd say how much weight I gained, how should he? It was exact same concept. Probably, I don't know. No, it's gotta be some different.

No, I bet it's called Pay Attention to Me Too. Read the, read what it says about it, Doug? What was what was the floor? It says explores what? Yeah, so it's a sequel to his first one, obviously explores the ways in which the fast food industry has rebranded itself as healthier since his original film. Oh, so he's just like, I remember that. I'll never forget the first time. They stopped when I was a trainer. I used to get KFC like early on, like thinking that like it was a good choice

because the high protein, if you actually looked it like, there's more fat than protein. Yes, it's and it's it's worse for you than like a big Mac. Totally. And I remember that like, remember, we didn't have any of these like great calorie things. Like I got I got I remember I'll never forget getting in my calorie king book. And then looking at KFC. I'm saying. I'm going like what am I doing?

Yeah, I should get a big Mac then and how many is that that's the logic? That's how even as a trainer, yeah, that's how my brain, I was eating KFC for a period of time thinking that I was making a better choice. Open the book, recognize it. This highlights your point that you make about how calorie showing people their calories don't make sense. You know what it does to me? It doesn't make me go, oh, I shouldn't have KFC. It makes me go, oh, I may as well have the big Mac. It's only a couple hundred calories.

It's actually a couple hundred calories less and I get as much protein that was literally the logic behind it. I told you guys why I can't eat KFC, right? I ruined it for myself. So you know the club we all managed, that was next to that KFC. Yeah, I don't know where that's can't eat KFC, right? I ruined it for myself. So, you know, the club, we all managed, that was next to that KFC. Yeah, I don't know, that's the like, yeah. Me and so my fitness manager, myself and another trainer.

So DJ, Ryan, you guys know both of them and then myself went on this like, we made it back. Let's see you could bulk the most over the next 60 days. And we all worked out together too. Now, you know, they, I think underestimated just how powerful my insecurity is Because I didn't just want to win this contest. There was also that driving right so I went nuts I got up to 240 pounds and at one. Oh, that's what that started that broke I was so like right now I wait about two 12. Okay, so imagine me 240 walking bloat

I was a literal meatball. Yeah, Strongest hell, body fat was way high though. And I'll never forget there was one meal where I was like, oh crap, I lost, you know, cause you lose a pound cause you lose water or something. I'm like, I gotta win this contest. I got a family size bucket of KFC. And I ate the whole thing. And then this gross, but I smelled like chicken for like two days.

Oh, gross. Like, yeah, people were like, I didn't leave it. People were like, you smell like, did you just eat, I'm like like chicken for like two days. Oh, gross. Like, yeah, people are like, I believe it, dude. People are like, you smell like, did you just see, I'm like, I ate a two days ago. So what do you have your food? Oh, I can't eat it anymore. I believe in my roommate at college, like he ate,

they literally had like chicken wings for an entire party of like 50 people. And nobody ate all the chicken wings. I mean, there was just way too many. And so I went to pick them up, because like he was there bouncing and him and my other friend were up there just eating, eating, eating.

And there was a stack of chicken bones like this high. And literally like smelled like chicken for three days. So what's so good? What is it that butcher box is doing with the chicken nuggets for it? Not to be in that KFC category, then is it because they're just breading it and they're not deep frying it? Why is it way less on the on the fat? It's the oil. It's what they use in the batter Because I tell you what that's a whole run. They're yeah, they're

Now to be clear the macros on the nuggets are not gonna be as good as like a chicken thigh or bread No, of course not. But I have yet to find a nugget, whatever nugget is that I was like, where's the nugget? It's like gizzard. I have yet to find a nugget. No, you know how they make that. That tastes that good.

So I'm taking all the meat and chicken vegetables and bones and cartilage, everything. And they blend it up. It's a neutral collagen protein. But I don't know, like so what would be interesting is to know if butcher box doesn't do that, because it doesn't taste like that. It does not taste like that gummy, like McDonald's, chicken nuggets, how they make it. I mean, everything they do is health conscious,

which is why I'm so surprised with how good like those nuggets taste. Actually, the best I've never had a fron. No, they're phenomenal. And the past is the kid taste test, too, man. Oh, Mike, if I keep them, if I keep keep them and my son sees them, he gets mad. Yeah, you're eating them again. Oh, because the little run out, you know, did you see that?

You're seeing that Chokey posted? No, you didn't see it. Oh, it's on the main IG. Yeah, it's kind of me. No, no, it's just it's little. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, she posted that because of all the parents that now we've got that are eating their kids chicken nuggets right now. Yeah, she posted that because of all the parents that we've now we've got that are eating their kids chicken nuggets right now.

Yeah, that's insane. Yeah. But these, you know, protein has been at first it was kind of demonized. Not, it's not explicitly demonized. By the way, although there are some people who do explicitly try to demonize protein through really bad science, but that hasn't got any steam. But what has happened is they've sideways demonized protein by attaching it to animal foods are bad for you. It used to be saturated fat. Now it's bad for the climate. Don't eat animals, type of deal plants are better for you. And

so it's kind of like attached to demonization of other things. and so people are not prioritizing. The bottom line is if you eat, if you aim for your target body weight in protein, you will eat less calories and you'll be leaner and you'll have more muscle and you'll feel better. That's just the fact. And most of the ways that you'll get the protein will be through whole foods.

You can definitely do through protein powders that doesn't really count the same. It does count, but it's not the same thing in terms of like the satiety. You're not gonna get the same satiety fun. It's funny how much easier it makes, yeah, like cutting and restricting calories. Like it's just like so much easier once you like fill up and you get that out of the city.

It's so easy that people actually run the risk of not being able to eat enough. It's fact. Try it. Most people like, I can't eat my calories when I also eat my food. Well, we just, for the audience, it won't be out yet, but I know it's coming soon. We just had a great conversation with Sean Stevenson. Oh, yeah. And, you know, the classic example of somebody who's been doing this as long as we have or

longer and train and been in the trenches with every day people forever What were the two things that that like he distilled down like talking to his clients about was hitting the protein and taking sleep sleep Yeah, though like literally and I made the cause of all the other things in a fact I mean, I've made that comment in the in the interview. You'll hear it when it comes out. Spoiler alert. It literally, if you're listening to this right now and you've got family or friends or you yourself are struggling on where to start with you,

like two things. Focus on getting good sleep. So put together a sleep routine. Some good habits and behaviors. Going to bed earlier, shutting TV up, whatever that is, okay. Eating two hours before beds that are right before bed or in bed, like make an effort to significantly improve

your quality of sleep, getting better sleep, and hit your protein intake. Don't do anything else. Literally just honing on those two things, and I bet you you will. It's because of all the other dominoes. You will, exactly. You will, and then the very next thing

after that add a little bit of resistance training. dominoes. You will. Exactly. Yeah. And then the very next thing after that, add a little bit of resistance training. Just a little, don't go crazy. Add a couple days in. Don't go like wipes your sleep clean. So you can actually start like painting. Dude, it is if it took most people, I know me too. If most people just focused on that, hit your protein intake, get better sleep than what

you're used to. And then when you're ready, the third step, add some resistance training in there, two to three times a week full body, it'll, it would radically change your life. 100%. So crazy. Doug brought up the ingredients, but as you scroll up, Doug, so we can see the ingredients to the, it's all organic. It's all stiff stuff, you know what it is. Like chicken breast with rid meat, water, organic rice flour, organic yellow corn flour,

organic corn meal, and then like cornstarch. That's basically that stuff, that's that. That's it, everything else is less than 1%. So it's pretty straightforward. You know the thing that really people need to pay, the thing that people need to pay attention to when they're aiming for protein, if they are, if they do have one of those polymorphisms

that respond poorly to certain types of fats, or if you just eat a lot of red meat, it's just eat grass-fed meat, that handles it. Like grass-fed meat, the fatty acid profile is really good. And if you, I eat at least a pound of red meat a day, and it's grass-fed meat, it makes a difference. That's pretty much it. I mean, get your protein and if you're, like I said,

if you've got one of those polymorphisms or saturated fats, affect your cholesterol in ways that are not so great, go grass fed and you're gonna be okay. I mean, that's just the bottom line. It's crazy. It's crazy. I just made it a habit of like trying to make,

when I make my food at home, although I will admit lately, I've been going down to the butcher and getting some really corn fed, grass grain fed type of. Isn't that funny? How much more palatable is? Oh God, it's like,

it's not weird. It is. It's radically different for sure. I mean, butcher box really nailed it with like being able to make grass fed tasty meat because I think they do it better than anybody else by far. But again, there's another classic example of something we talk about,

like we tell people, oh, they do a great job. So people go buy it and they think they're gonna, it's gonna taste like a grain fed cow that's like, you know, marbled fat like crazy. It's like, no, it's gonna taste leaners. It's just not gonna taste the same. Like that's what we're expecting. You know, it's interesting,

our cravings were really the result of thousands and thousands of years of evolution. And they drove us to seek out certain flavors and textures because they came with important nutrients. And our drive to get them is also influenced by the difficulty of getting them. Okay, so if we did not have this strong drive for let's say fat and meat,

we probably wouldn't hunt as much because it's dangerous. It's dangerous, it's hard. You got to chase an animal, you might get killed, type of deal, plants that deposit their seeds through our digestive system. You know, they evolve producing fruit that tastes really good. We also craved sugar because it was rare. Sugar is actually quite rare in nature.

You'll find tribes will go to be hives and go through crazy extents to get honey because sugar is hard to come by. And why did you crave it? Why do we like sugar so much? It's super energy in the real world, not this world that we've designed for ourselves with agriculture and all that stuff.

In the real world, when you're out in the woods and you're living that way and you encounter a little bit of sugar, it's, yeah, you're gonna want it, of course. Of course you are. But it's rare. You're ain't gonna find pounds of sugar. The point you're making right now,

the point you're making want it, of course. But it's rare. You're gonna find pounds of sugar. The point you're making right now, the point you're making right now, I think is the best case or the best argument for why there's value in more small meals throughout the day. I think that when we have these longer periods of time where you don't eat something, those alarms and natural signals get louder. And I think that that's part of the chin,

and that makes it more challenging for someone to make a healthier bedroids than just going to the craving. Whereas if I constantly am letting myself get a small meal every two, three hours, I don't feel like those alarms are as loud. I know a lot of people are like that. Some people are the opposite.

Really? Yeah, if I fast, my appetite starts to go away, actually. I can, if I fast long, okay. So yes, yes and no, okay, intentionally fasting different point. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how most people live, which is, you know, they have these, you know, just wait. Yeah, they just wore in unintentionally. Most people life happens is what happens. Most of us have trained ourselves that you have breakfast in the morning, you have a lunch, then probably have a snack in the dinner. If all things go well, but then what happens to a lot of people is they get busy at work or something. And then that three hour,

when they four hour point, when they normally would have something, it gets beyond that. And then when they finally get to a meal, all those cravings have been kicking up, and then they over and doled, versus having small meals planned out to where they're kind of like grazing all day. You know what's hard about that? As you intentionally fast and you have the mindset of, I'm not eating till three or four in the afternoon, totally different, because you know why?

I was at like 10, 11, you go to those same things too, but you've already told yourself, I'm not eating all the way to then it passes. You know what's tough about that? What you're saying, that's so hard to control because when people eat small meals, let's say they eat four or five times a day instead of two or three, they're probably gonna eat more processed food meals because they're convenient.

Yeah. I mean, protein's hard to get to kind of like... They would have to really meal back on. You know what I mean? Because otherwise you're like, just why I was always such a fan of it, for my clients. Yeah, because otherwise what are you going to do right? You know, I want you five mills a day. This is what people will do. Okay, cool.

I'll eat, I'll eat lunch and dinner breakfast is this package thing and then my snacks are these bars or package things and those are my snacks. I mean, I always found there nobody's going to always found getting my clients to have to prep meals in the middle of the day, done easy. If you're pretty disciplined, you could have, and you can do either one heating up, like I've recommended on the podcast before, you could do things like creatures that have an oatmeal or a magic food cereal, so those are quick and easy,

like protein sources. So you have your breakfast, like easy like that. And then it's midday. So it's either whenever you eat around 11 or noon time and then again around, you know, two to four range or like that, that where people I feel like either one, they skip unintentionally and then dinner, they've over and doled because they are they got so they feel so hungry in that that time period or they could go eat, but they use something drive-through fast

because they don't have a lot of time that it had everything prepped. So having two meals a day, either prepped, or this is where I think there's, I mean, we've had it. Just a planning alone, right? Just because you're planning. Yeah, rather than like the day,

the day is running you, you're running the day, that alone makes a huge difference. You know why too? When you're planning for the next day or two days later, you're typically more in this like conscious, self-aware state versus like in the moment. I know, I probably should be healthy, but I'm hungry right now.

I mean, there's an argument for that too, Sal, that it's a lot of it, maybe half of it has to do, not just that you simply have it, but that you're constantly, that you're just aware. Totally. Because you are making the effort to prep it and do that, you're more aware, more likely.

You know there's studies on that, right? Where you're better at how your future self should be, the further away it is. In other words, when people set goals, the further the goal is, the more ambitious, and like, yeah, I could totally do that. Like, do you think you could write this, would you be able to do this project,

but I want you to do it down the line. Yeah. So if you tell someone, can you eat healthy on Thursday and prep your meals now? They're like, yeah, I know what healthy is. And they'll put it together and like, oh yeah, this will be good. But if you're like, hey, can you eat healthy right now? Oh, that's gonna be, that's really hard.

Oh, yeah. Hey, did you ever watch that video I sent you about repairing after arguments and stuff. It was that woman doctor. I sent to every family member. How amazing. Amazing. I sent it to everybody in my family to listen to, because not only it's what's wrong with it is it's titled like for parents, but it's like 101 on how to repair any relationship.

I think every married couple or anybody in a relationship with another person should watch it because it's incredibly powerful. The repair is everything. In other words, the story you tell yourself about what happened can be radically altered with the repair. So she uses the example where she says,

you know, think of your parents and maybe you have a better relationship with them. Imagine now if your mom called you and said, hey, I know I wasn't the best mom when you were a kid. I had a really tough time. I was young and experienced. I know it was really rough for you. I'm really sorry.

Like, how that would change, it would have fixed everything, right? But it would change quite a bit about how you, the whole thing, it's not even a question perspective. The reason why I said to my sister is because that is the greatest challenge that we have with our mother. would change quite a bit about how you the whole thing. It's not even a question for me. The reason why I said to my sister is because that is the greatest challenge that we have with our mother was not it's less about what happened. I mean, 40 years old. The thing I'm and I've talked about how I'm grateful for the someone went through. The hardest part that we've had as adults in our relationship with her is that that's

the part where she's struggled with. It's just saying, I'm sorry, I fucked up. I did a bad job. It's just, there's always an excuse. There's always a reason, or there's always somebody else who had it worse than us. As the, she's always had this reasoning behind it. It's like, I know all my sister and I,

I think I ever wanted as a kid was our mom to go like, man, I did a bad job. That was hard. Versus, yeah, versus always justifying why or saying that it could be worse or all these other things like that. And so of course that hit home for me like on how much as I know what it's like to be the kid and to feel that. And so very, very mindful of that with my son and how we're and then also even with Katrina. Like I think that's why I think it's so valuable not just for parenting. I think that's why I think it's so valuable not just for parenting

I think that we're all humans we all get emotional and irrational in the moment and say things that we regret or do things that we regret Totally and one of the most powerful things that you can do in that situation is to own it right afterwards and be like man I fucked up so shoot. Yeah, so she has whole course, and I've been on it for a while, and she talks about how powerful this is for kids. So like, look, as a parent, you're gonna snap. You're not gonna be perfect, just fact, okay? It's just what happens. But when afterwards, when you've calmed down,

you know what happened, oh, I yelled at my kid, oh, I did that thing, they saw me, whatever. You go up to them, and you bring it up, you talk about it, and not like this. This was cool because she says this too. It's like, you don't go up to you, you can't be like, hey, look, hey buddy, I'm really sorry, I yelled at you,

but you know, you did that thing that made me yell. She's like, no, no, that's not the same thing. Yeah. You go up to me, like, hey, I yelled, I lost control. I really upset, and I lost control. And that was probably scary for you, I'm sorry. Boy, so I've tried some of this, and Jessica's really good at this with the kids.

And man, does it make the kids emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and it changes everything? Especially if you argue with your spouse or whatever in front of your kids, and then afterwards you tell the kids, that was probably little scary for you. Mom and dad, sometimes we lose control. It's really hard, I then afterwards you tell the kids, that was probably little scary for you, mom and dad. Sometimes we lose control, it's really hard,

I'm sorry that you had to see that. Then the kid all of a sudden was like, it's okay, like I know, things can be hard. And then when they do something, I'll see this with my son. He'll do something, and afterwards he'll come, and he'll bring the repair and the apology, like the self-awareness. It's really remarkable.

It's a really good video, you have to watch it. If I got you to be the shout out today, because I think that you should go check out that YouTube video for sure. The hardest part and the part that, and I've seen this play out, and I'm so glad in the video she does the example, is people have the right intentions

that I need to go repair that, but they still are emotionally broken over it, or they still have their issue. I really feel like it invalidates how they fell. That's right. That's right. So then when they communicate it, they still pull that bullshit where they go like, you know, I'm sorry that, you know, but I wouldn't have had you. There's this, but, you know, you yelled at me or, you know, you did do this thing. Like you still circle back around and justify your behaviors and feelings, even though you think you're apologizing and reconciling, you're really not.

And that is the, that's where the, the goal is, the goal is, can you in a situation like that no matter how wrong the other person is, can you take full ownership of your own emotions, reactions and how you handle the situation, no matter how wrong they were and own that and apologize. Yeah, I said, own that and apologize. Yeah, it's hard to apologize. That's hard to apologize. If here is, I'm gonna give them this thing,

and then they're not gonna apologize back. Well, that might not happen. I actually had this conversation with my oldest son, and he's in college right now, and he's having some challenges with certain people, and I said, and he has these assumptions, right? And I'm like, you gotta give people the chance to be assholes, or good, but you gotta give them the chance.

You can't assume that they're gonna be an asshole. And then if they are, you know what your boundaries are, you know what the game is. So if you go up to somebody, like you said out of me, you say, hey, look, I totally lost control. I'm really sorry, I probably suck to be around. And the person doesn't own their side, that's okay. You just know where things stand, you understand the boundaries,

but you gotta give them the chance to be like Maybe they apologize back maybe they don't but you're not gonna give it to that you can't force them I can't go up to him be like hey look. I'm sorry, but you're sorry too, right? You know that's essentially what people are saying so you know that I think I told I don't think I talked about this on air But I told you guys that I had like this in my Hampton group right the the group that I'm a part of like I had my super power. Like so each of us have been like nominated for like our super powers and what you do.

And mine was relationship building. One of the things, one of the key hacks when people are asking me like how have developed a lot of these relationships is that I've trained myself to actually always default to giving people the benefit of the doubt. Meaning that they did something wrong. They're a relationship trying to build.

And I in my head, instead of right away thinking of all the like, oh my god, the deceit they're probably doing this night. I spin it to like, well, you know, maybe they meant for it to come this way. And like I always think of that they had the best intentions until you prove me completely wrong, right? And that has served me because we're all human. We all get emotion, we all react. We all tell our own story in our head.

And if you take a first impression, which not everybody's great at first impressions, and you automatically judge that person, their whole character, based off of an isolated scenario or interaction they've had with you or another person, very difficult to build all these relationships with people because that happens all the time.

And so that's a hack that I've had to train myself to do. It doesn't mean you don't have boundaries either. And it doesn't mean I'd be like, oh, well then you're gonna let people walk all over you. No. And you know that about me. I'm definitely not that person. No, no, no, no, definitely cut someone's throat.

I'm definitely that person who, but that's part of what makes me that way, is because of that, because I've given you already the benefit of that doubt, and then you've still come back and you've proven me that this is who you are. This is your character, and so then now we're done. Now, because I know I didn't judge you at the gates.

In fact, I gave you a lot of grace, but you've now proven me that that is who you are, and so then we're not gonna have relationships. So just needless to say, but you've now proven me that that is who you are. And so then no, we're not going to have relationships. So this is so just needless to say this is good stuff for me to watch because you know, we're moving right now and that's stressful. I thought that was stressful. It's a wild, even though you guys have you've basically contracted out all the labor and work. You still got to put it still.

It's still stressful. It's still a thing. You know, things are all over the place and my clothes are here and that's over there. And you know, you got to figure things out. It's a new neighborhood. It's a new area. It's stressful. It's still a thing. And you know, things are all over the place and my clothes are here and that's over there. And you know, you got to figure things out. It's a new neighborhood. It's a new area. It's all unnerving. I think would be the right word.

I hate it. Oh, I hate it. But yeah, I did. I had people move stuff too. I still hate it. Still, still, not fun. I know. Dude, yesterday I went to go use

the have an outside grill. You know, and I went to go, so I'm not a good, I'm not like you and you and Doug and even Justin, you guys are great at grilling. I'm not a good, I'm not like you and you and Doug and even Justin, you guys are great at grilling, I am not. So I bought these nice steaks, I'm like, I'm gonna do a good job. I'm gonna do a good job, it's time,

I gotta get a nice outdoor grill, have my parents over. I've flamed the shit out of a man, charcoal, it's just made little charcoal pieces of meat. So mad, just gonna try and be nice to me. Oh no, they're good, it does, you know, oh no, it's still good. I'm like, babe, no, it's trying to be nice to me. Oh, no, they're good. You know, no, it's still good. I'm like, babe, no, it's not. It's not good.

You could write on the sidewalk with that. What are they saying about that? What are they saying about how you just said that? How you frame it so important, right? You said, I'm terrible at that. You gotta get rid of the first thing saying, it's like, I could be much better at grilling if I practice more.

Versus saying, I'm not in grilling. I'm working on grilling. I could identify it as a terrible griller. Or I should say, this is why you should grill, honey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the worst.

I mean, you ultimately like husband. I eat bread. I don't care how long you've been doing it. So I mean, I screwed my steak up yesterday. I was so mad. I got them always, how do you stop the, you know what I got, you know what it is? I didn't do a good job.

I didn't clean it first, right? Cause otherwise it'll flare. Yeah. I mean, Katrina likes that, right? Yeah, she's easy to make a stay for. Yeah, she is. Yeah, she is. You know what, so what I screw up always is my steak

trying to make her her perfect birth steak. So I'm always trying to time dinner. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like a medium rare to medium guy and she's a well done ruined beef jerky person. And so I'm always like the time difference. The bottom and years like way up. Yeah. And I like to slow cook. So imagine if you slow cook and you have that much discrepancy, her steak is an hour and a half later. So you just, so I'm always trying to figure out like how to time hers because I won't her to have the best experience for her steak all the. And I mean, while I ruined my stake all the time, just try to figure

us out. I think you guys all have a good weekend. Did you do anything? Yeah. I mean, I was just watching basically flag football all weekend. Who's playing flag football? Ethan. Oh, cool. Yeah. So he, I mean, they had their first game and they did well like they have a good team

And I got roped in the coaching a bit too One of those things it's just like I just me standing I can't just sit and watch like everybody knows Me and the Valley and like we you know, I grew up there. You're like a local celebrity I don't know I don't think so I mean That's weird to think about but it's like yeah We we had like that team was like the the team where everybody talks about so it's kind of like it's kind of like that It's just the super hero Yeah, I never he's like I never sign more than a periodic raft set of

So I would say that Obviously Tom Cruise was there to be a lot more. Oh, they got my jersey in every gas station That's Andrews 24. Oh, that pun really turned you did. What was it? 36. Yeah, 36. Yeah. No, so I'm like, there, and I'm helping out and I can't help it. I get involved. But he'd eagre. It's interesting to watch him now kind of doing conventional sports, you know, from that transition. Yeah. And to see like his movement, because he's definitely, man, he's progressed like crazy with the week

and throw the ball, like a movie and catch and all that. He's just, you know, still got to work on the running and stuff and I'm trying to kind of, so I got in a little bit of like, I was getting frustrated because this kind of brought back a lot of things I'm seeing from the whole landscape out there in terms of kids and just their overall resilience. And it's one little thing. We had a couple kids just like, oh, my knee and my wrist and even even kind of caught that.

I was like, oh my ankles. And so I'm like, I had to like bust out the old story. You know, as we're walking, and I'm like uphill both ways. I'm telling him, I'm telling him about, when this, when you had the flesh hitting back through your neck. Yes. I brought this up in the podcast a long time ago. But I just, I was laughing about it because like me and Courtney, Courtney has a pretty great story too about like, like, listen,

you, we have to like teach these kids how to be fucking tough. Like who is out there teaching kids how to be tough anymore? Nobody, it's embarrassing. That's my little rant. Um, so here's my story, okay. I stepped on a nail and- My holder, you paid the picture here.

Okay, so I was like, I was 12. No, I was 11. I was 11. Yeah, little guy. Little guy. I step on the nail, I do the whole thing where you go do the Epson Salt bath and this is supposed to cure everything in the 80s, right? You just Epson Salt bath everything.

Robotusses. Yeah, Robotusses in it. Epson Salt. Simpsons salt. Soak it out. That's the 80s right there. Simpsusses. Yeah, Robotussin it. And that's the salt. And that's the salt. So get out. That's the 80s. Right. Right. So some of the little seven of some soda crackers. Fine. Just get on the bus.

Yeah. Stop being a little bitch. Am I okay? So it healed the next day. Like the wound itself was kind of healing. And I I put my shoe on and I go to school. I'm walking on it all day. It's not feeling good.

It's irritated. it's inflamed. I believe I, to that point, I'm telling my parents, I don't know, it doesn't feel any better. It hurts a lot. And they're like, ah, just walking off, walking off. What does that mean anyway? It was something else. And I don't know, my head hurts.

It's just gonna go away. And it's like, you'll be fine. There's some science that blood oxygen that reads circulating. Yeah, and so I'm like, okay, I didn't know, I'm only know is what my parents tell me. Like, I'm like, okay, I guess this pain's gonna go away. And so I'm walking to school, it really hurts.

I'm trying to do recess. I can't, like I was real big into kickball, couldn't even like stand up. I started sitting down, my friends were like, what's wrong real big into kickball, couldn't even like stand up. I started sitting down. My friends were like, what's wrong? You're like, my, my foot's killing me. Got to the point where my foot just blew up like a beach ball.

Like I couldn't, I had to take my shoe off. Basically, I'm almost to the point where I was gonna have to cut my shoe off because it was expanding so fast. And my foot was just like this. These are all terrible. These are all terrible. Puss filled beach ball.

These are terrible signs by the way. Yeah, you need to go hospital. And I'm still walking on it. No, but I'm just like thinking back and I'm laughing with Courtney talk and I'm telling the story in front of Ethan and you know, and like, and he's, you know, rubbing his little ankle, whatever.

And I'm like, listen, so I basically had, I got back on the bus and I'm like, and no adult, like I'm like, no adult having good advice for me. And I'm just like, they're like, oh, yeah, you know, hopefully that works it so far. You know, okay, you know, I'm on the bus. And I have my shoe off and I have my huge like inflamed, like bus filled foot.

And to the point where I get off the bus, I get to the bus stop, and my friends just, like, because I was so slow, they just disperseed and went to the left, went to their houses. You're all sad, why not? I'm just like, just, like, quasi-moto, you know, like, just limp in my way back to home. I had a half a mile I had to get to my house

and it was all uphill and it was this really steep hill. I got to the point where it hurt so bad, I just broke down and I started crawling and I crawled like, here's me, I don't remember this part of the, you grow. Is this like the storm? I'm just building a ground. No, that's what hilarious is.

It's like a dangerous thing. That's why it's hilarious to me. I was thinking about, I was crawling. I just did what I could to get home. Like I wasn't like thinking like this is ridiculous or anything. He's like I still wasn't crying to his kids. No, I wasn't crying.

I'm just crawling, I'm getting back and I finally make it home and then I'm like, I don't know, like there's something wrong, you know, I'm like telling my parents and then finally look at them like, whoa. Oh my God,, there's something wrong, you know, like telling my parents and then finally looking at them, like, whoa, oh my God, and then I had to get rushed, so I went to the family practice doctor. He has to do this emergency, like,

he basically makes an incision on the bottom of my foot and the top just to drain it. And this is without any anesthetic, anything to kind of help with the pain, just to cut open and get it going. And he forgot the crawling, he blocked it out. And then, yeah, I blocked it out. And then, and then I go immediately rush

to the emergency room. And then, so I had it end up like having overnight surgery, and then I was there for 10 days of them, just draining and sticking things in the holes and then 10 days you're in the hospital. Yeah. It was flesh-eating bacteria. You know, you know what the odds are

that he could've lost his foot? They're significant. That's what Courtney started bringing up. She's like, you are so lucky eating your foot amputated. I was like, I honestly, yesterday, or it was two days ago, I was talking to this story and it didn't even dawn on me that I had all that, that like the worst possible things

that could have been. The amount of jokes I'd have for you if you were just a one-legged Justin. No, I'm not. You know how much part? I already got a pink leg. You know what's more popular with me? Yeah, you know what's more.

Like, if you had one leg, we'd be waiting for you. I don't know, I just barely counts a lot as white privilege a little bit. I'm saying, it makes me even, yeah, it's not enough. It's not enough. Maybe a wheelchair even. Did I complain? I didn't fucking complain. You know,'s not enough. It's not enough. Maybe a wheelchair even made it. Did I complain?

I didn't fucking complain. You know, I just didn't even know any better. Like, it wasn't like conveyed to me that like, I needed to like, cry about that. Yeah. You know, they don't get it because just like, when you hear stories from your dad, when you were little or I do,

it's your dad telling the story. But isn't it the dad's job? Yeah. Right? Like, your dad's aren't stepping up and toughening up these kids, man. It's embarrassing. So what are you gonna do?

Take another food and shit. I was angry about it, dude. I was like, thinking I'm like, man. Throw them off in the woods. You throw them in my bowl. Throw them up, bow and arrow. Figure it out. If you find your way home.

Up some dirt on it. It'll take care of you. So anyway, yeah, I got a little fired up about it. And then I just calmed down because I was like, oh yeah, like, you know, everybody's got easier right now. I'm blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, we can make excuses. But it just was like, I just remember playing sports and then like, I was always injured

playing sports. Like you just keep going. You just do. You just keep doing it. Like, you can't, I'm like, trying, I was trying to like, okay, that's ridiculous story. Now let's kind of bring it back to like, you know, oh, my little ankle hurts, you know, and like, how do I relate?

You don't even have to go that far. Just look at when you kids, you ever see your kids' kids board when they don't have anything to do? They free, oh, what, I don't have anything to do. I had three channels on TV and I was a kid. Yeah. And it was only kids TV and 9 AM on Saturday.

Yeah. So I always had to figure out what to do. You know, I want to be what I'm concerned. So do you think that has something to do though too that this our kid generation do have with the amount of television and the amount of gaming consoles and the amount of iPad phone stuff? Do you think that played a role?

Because I'm watching, and the reason why I'm asking this is because I'm watching, and the reason why I'm asking this is because I'm wondering if like, if I'm gonna be able to shift that a little bit different for my son because of us not allowing a lot of that. Like, and I see him, he's really, I mean, he's got an imagination that's crazy to me. Like, he just makes up plays and does characters. Yeah, but listen, listen.

Like, something we can do, bro, because you don't think that we, you know what, you don't think that, that part of that is our fault for the way we shaped them early on. But what I read was, the best data that I've seen shows that what you can do with your kid is to make them feel responsible for doing better in the world. That's the biggest impact.

So like, you have your kid volunteer, or you tell a kid, look, we're really successful. We do really well. It's our responsibility to do the right thing. I'm not feeling like that. Well, yeah, sure. I don't do that. I don't deny that. But the challenge is part. You're talking about some, you're talking about two different things. I'm commenting on your point of being bored. Like, being bored. Oh, you just let them. Yeah, yeah. The best thing to do is because I mean, that's what, so my point is why I help me with that. We're all turning everything off and they're, they're complaining and she looks at me,

she'll be like, they just let them figure it out. I think we train them to give them that, that crutch for so long, that's my point. So like, I think that is, and I like to think that if you're, you've got a kid under the age of say five right now, we're more aware. So hopefully you're, we're you're setting better trends now.

Unfortunately, when you guys had your kids, it was all so news. You kind of didn't know, like in your defense, right? A lot of parents just, oh cool new tech, new thing. We're really thinking like my 20s too. And just you just, you're not thinking about, you're probably not thinking about that stuff. Like I mean, many parents probably are. I told you guys, I went out as a kid, My mom and dad got an argument because my dad said,

the kids have too many toys. And I'm gonna throw some away. And my mom was like, no, they're gonna miss them. My dad literally got two garbage bags, filled them up with toys, took them out. And the bet was, I bet they'll even notice. Yeah, we didn't. We had no idea that he threw away half of our toys.

Yeah. And he likes to tell us what he played. He had one toy. I told you guys about this, right? It was a wheel. It was a bicycle wrist. Sticking a stick in a wheel. Why was that a thing? Why was that a thing? No, no you know, it's crazy considering that he's born in the 40s that he's has. He actually has a video of like, he's, he's as video of his childhood. Even has video of his parents.

Oh, he switched him over to, to digitals that we. Yeah. So I had some old films that I took him to Costco. And this was like two years ago. And I had these DVDs sitting around this weekend. I found them and I go, oh, I should check these out. Found old movies of me when I was like three years old. Oh, I bet, were you Chubby, Little Cute, Little Cute?

I was a Chubby Cute child, for sure. I could see it, adorable. But is that cool that, I mean, he has a really Chubby baby. I know I tease him that he wasn't born in the 40s, but I mean, I don't have any, I'm sure you guys don't have a lot of videos. Oh, my parents have a lot of videos.

Oh, you know, you're a lot of them. Oh, you're a lot of them. But they're all on VHS. And my dad every once in a while won't play them. He really has a stigma because, or what do you call stigmatism, whatever. Oh, because the camera, because the camera, like on,

was with that one eye that she was like doing the TV. No, my dad had the, you know, he'd have like the thing that's been around people be a thing that, I mean, you look, he looked like he was making a movie, you know what I mean? That's how big they were. And he used to take a lot of videos of us and stuff. Oh, so you guys do? Yeah, I love that stuff. Yeah.

I you guys ever sit down and you have your Jessica. Have you sat down and heard it? I we haven't in a long time. I used to get mad when you put them on because you're embarrassed when you get older to watch yourself as a kid. Now I wouldn't give a shit, but I remember at one point I said, hey, he put them on. Oh, fuck. I'm gonna do that thing on the kid. I way too many embarrassing ones.

Like, and my mom will resurrect them every now and then. So you got them too, then, huh? Yeah, and it's just, yeah, I thought, I thought, Mark, you guys were like, it's overrated, it's overrated, bro. It was like, I was always goofing and it was like, it's cringe, like 5,000. Yeah, it's just, just cause like you,

she has whole periods where like they lost half of their pictures and stuff because they moved and she happened. So she didn't have a whole lot. Yeah, there's not a lot of, I mean, I could think of like one little album my mom has of like some some pictures I have. Most all pictures and video that I have of myself is when I started and I probably when I was, I want to say junior high ish, like I started. And I probably when I was, I wanna say junior high-ish, like I got, that was when cameras were a thing.

Now, these days, because it's so accessible, it's the opposite. I have Jessica's constantly reminding me to not film. So I'll be at the park with the kids. And she's like, stop filming everything because they know they're being filmed and it changes, it takes them out of being present. And she's right

It's true. Yeah, if I put it on and he notices the kids notice it does change. Oh, yeah I mean, yeah, they're so hard not to because you know like we're at the work and my my kids like climbing things He hasn't climbed before because he's cautious like his dad. I was very cautious kid But he's taking these risks and he's so proud of himself. So I'm like filming him, you know, I'm like, oh, you know, yeah She's like don't himself. So I'm like filming him, you know, I'm like, oh, you know, she's like, don't film him. Like I already did. I mean, yes, I know, right? I think there's a balance there, right?

Because there's a part, I mean, one of my, I'm so glad that I have documented a lot of maxes growing up because one of my favorite things, he's only, he's only four years old. Yeah, I still love it. Do you do it? Yeah, does it make you, does it ever make you super emotional?

Oh, yeah. Already, you know what I'm saying? He's only four and I already get that way when I started when I look back at all of the, but I'm so glad I have that. Like it's literally a timeline of him growing up and I have all these, all these clips and stuff like that. I wish my partner would divide the time so I get to be somewhat present in some of these moments and then she videoed everything, but Katrina, I mean, of all the video strengths and you the organizer of the videos.

Yes, yeah, yeah. Which I just adopted. I actually didn't want to be that guy, but I wanted it so bad that I knew if I want this done, she doesn't care that. That happens. I have somehow adopted the I pack our luggage and I unpack our luggage and that's what I do.

I don't want to do that. That's what happened. I don't know how it worked, how it happened, but this is what I do happen. That's just it. So she'll get everything together and it's all on the floor. I'm the packer. I was talking to Vicky today, we're talking about that. I was talking about relationships and you know,

like one of the best things that happened for our relationship was of course having max, but for other, for not obvious reasons. We've always had like, I'm a little bit OCD with like the house and things in order and also like that. I'm like Jessica, right? And Katrina's more like you, you know what I'm saying? And I wouldn't categorize you or Katrina as sloppy, messy people. You just don't care. She doesn't care about it or I'll get to it type of deal. And I'm more like Jessica where everything has to have its place.

But what I have found for us that is just, I figured it out and I was just like, I don't know, I was telling Douglas this morning, we were talking, we were actually talking about this, exact conversation is that I started going like, listen, at the end of the day, she's right. It's not the end of the world if this thing is not in its place

and our life can be normal, but it bothers me so much that I, and if it bothers me that much and I want it that bad, why don't I take initiative and do it? I just figured out there's a time that she really handles something that I don't ever have to worry about. I don't ever have to, unless she's not around for that day or whatever, make my son's meals. Like, I don't, I don't make it. She makes all his meals, she bays him, gets him ready for bed. That's like an hour and a half process at night when you add in, cleaning the dinner,

feeding him, cleaning up after him, getting him ready for the bath, getting him in the bath, reading to all that. So that's like, not reframing skills, it's so important. Dude, and so I just looked at it as like, okay, I need to, that's my time now, to do those things that I care so much about.

And she's, and what was beautiful about it was it just kind of naturally happened for us. And then of course, there's times where Katrina goes, oh man, I had a long day-to-day rough. Could you take care of Max? Could you feed him? Could you put him down? Yeah, sure. Just, you know, make sure you take care of what I do when I do that. And she's like, and it's not like she doesn't step up and do it. You know, she's like, okay. And then she's realized how much she doesn't like doing that. So like she never, she'll be tired and doesn't want

to do all those things. She'd rather do that. But she'd rather do that than actually muster up the energy to do the dishes. And the reframing is so important. You know, like I feed our 10 month old at night more often now because Jessica was so sleep-provided for so long. It was affecting her health and everything else,

and so I was doing it. And I love it now. Like I first was like, I gotta do this. But I was like the other night. I was holding my daughter and I'm feeding her. You know, and it's like 3 a.m. 4 a.m. and she takes a little hands, her little chubby baby hands, and she rebs my arm here. That's great. With both hands like thisam, 4am. And she takes a little chubby baby hands, and she reps my arm here.

That's great. Both hands like this, watch it drinking. And I'm like, oh man, I'd be missing out on that if I wasn't doing it. It's totally worth it. I know I agree with you. It's funny how it was such a big deal in our relationship, solve the problem, and then it's even switched to where I enjoy it. It's now become this very meditative type of process.

I mean, I don't you believe that we can do that with all things in our lives. Of course. I really believe that. Of course. And you know, it helps with that gratitude. Period in a story. When you feel like complaining,

like, okay, what am I grateful for from that person? Oh, yeah, they do that thing, or they do these things that are great that I'm suck at. Did you see that clip I sent you about that? No. Yes, you did. The clip where in the Bible talks about switching your mind from anxiety and gratitude occupy the same part

of the brain. You can't. So the next time, the next time, I thought that was such an unbelievable that that was something like that. So if you, we know the research today, that was something that goes all the way back to the Bible. In other words, if you feel anxious

and you focus on feeling gratitude, that part of the brain can't do both. And so then you'll start to. Such a powerful strategy. Next time you're feeling anxious like that, and then switch it around and go, like let me think of the things that I'm really grateful in my life

and see how much that, like suppresses the anxiety I know with that. I think that's such a powerful. Hey, I wanted to bring this up because we talked so much about creatine and its value. And it is the ultimate longevity supplement. And the data now is super supportive of the statement.

People still want to know, are there things I can take with creatine to enhance absorption, make it more effective, et cetera, et cetera. Now, creatine on a hydrate plane, perfectly fine. Studies done on it are typically done with pure, creative, no problem. However, you can definitely enhance absorption or its effectiveness if you take it with certain compounds.

Now, it's not a game changer, but for some people it might be, there's some people that don't respond to creating quite as well as others. In those cases, I would say it'd be a good idea. Do you think the people that are not responding to them, that a big correlation of that has to do with their inability to absorb it?

I think so. Interesting. I think I might have to do something like that, because typically they'll have, sometimes they'll have gastro issues. Right, yeah, get a little sick. Some people, right? So you know who I've heard, talk about that.

Who was the guy from UK we had on here, he's been in the bodybuilding world forever, tattooed. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get them. Yeah. He's creatine has something paired with it for that. I heard him talk about that, but that's like his big thing on his career.

Yeah, so like simulated better. Yes. Yeah, so the hammer or yeah, the hammer on this would be like, just have it with sugar, spikes, insulin, could drive more creatine in your system. Obviously not ideal, not a great idea. That was the original. Those were like the first ways that people tried to

improve the efficacy of creatine. So that's one way to do it. I don't necessarily recommend that, unless you're bulking and you need extra calories. Don't mind feeling gross afterwards. The second one would be sodium. Sodium could help. Cardinotene, Elcarnotene, in particular, El Cardinotene, alkanatein, in particular,

alkanatein tartrate, recharge from Legion has alkanatein tartrate, and then something else called Corosolic Acid, I believe, which increases insulin sensitivity. So it's similar, it would be like making your current insulin levels more powerful, and what insulin does is it drives nutrients into muscle cells. So recharge is an example of a creatine supplement

that has a couple things. With Legion. Yeah, with Legion, that helps. So, okay, so I'm assuming, because I know Mike so well, that, and Mike would be, I think agree with us, that, you know, because we always talk about creatine monohydrate, it's like,

that's all you need. So I'm assuming he's done that to cover all the base, is that what it is? It's like, okay, for the small population of people that may have issues with uptaking the maximum amount, there is a people, and with like the Chris Greth gethens and people like that, there is gonna be a people that are gonna benefit

from that, so it may as well parent with that and now I've covered all the basics. Yeah, because coronatine is good for mitochondrial health, ATP production, which is what the creatine does, and then aerosolic acid increases insulin sensitivity. So, your, theoretically insulin would drive more nutrients into the cells making the creatine more effective. So, just, those are a few examples.

I always get messages like, okay, I know you say creatinine monohydrate, I know you say just about powder. However, I'd like to add something to it, what are the things I could do? Those are the things that so far the data shows might have a little bit of an effect. So I know that we talked about,

do you know the name of the video that you shared? I think that's a great shout out. No, her name is Dr. Becky. And I think you've talked about her before. So we shot. No, her name is, let me find it today. Her name is Dr. Becky. And I think you've talked about her before, so we've actually talked about her. Yeah, I've got it inside is the course that I was taking. But the YouTube video that you sent,

I sent that to more, I can't remember the last time I sent a clip to as many people as I sent that to you. I sent it to all my best friends, I sent it to my family, like a lot of people got that clip from me because I thought it was such a good thing. I'm trying to find it right now. It's a short video too. It's only like, oh here you go.

Here we go. It's Becky Kennedy, the single most important parenting strategy. That's what it's called. The most important parenting strategy. Highly recommend the video. It's not just for parenting, it's just for relationships, period, and a story.

It's really good. Yes. Organifi makes organic supplements to support your health and wellness. They have superfood blends that make it easy and enjoyable to add variety and nutrition to your day. So they have a green juice. That's phenomenal for recovery. A gold juice.

It's great for rest and sleep and a red juice for energy. Plus, much more. Go check them out. Go to organifi.com. That's O-R-G-A-N out. Go to organify.com. That's O R G A N I F I dot com forward slash mind pump music, go to mind pump and get 20% off. All right, back to the show. Our first caller is Izzy from Florida. Izzy, how can we help you?

Hey, how are you? Thanks for having me on the show. So I'm just going to read it for Badam to make things easy. In January, I started a 20-week prep for bikini competition. And long story short, my body gave out to me four weeks prior to the show, and I was never able to walk the stage. My coach started me off at 12-punter calories for 10 weeks and nine weeks out from the show. He dropped me to 800 calories a day with an hour of cardio a day as well. I've struggled immensely with weight gain post prep and I'm having a really hard time getting my body back to normal. So I guess my question is, do you have any recommendations for this or any tips on how to get my metabolism back to normal because basically I feel like I don't have one anymore. Did you just now find my pump?

No, I found it right after the competition. Well, I heard, so I heard a talk or an interview that sounded halfway through. And you were kind of saying that low calories was never the solution and kind of flag the situation for me because I didn't know anything going into it. But I was really stubborn and determined to walk the stage. So I was like, uh, whatever. And, uh, so. Okay. I want to back. I want to back up here for a second because this will help us as we move forward.

Okay. What made you continue with that process when you were going from 1200 calories, which is already insanely low, down to 800 calories, and keep going until your body basically forced you to stop. What was it that kept you there? So my coach was my uncle, and I think in my head, I was like, he wouldn't do anything that would harm me. And I also, like, I'm again, I'm stubborn, so I was like, I can just fight through it. It's fine. And then it was a fact of'm again, I'm stubborn. So I was like, I can just fight through what it's fine. And then it was a fact of like, maybe this is normal. And I just didn't know.

Yeah. So that's a tough position to be in. The reason why I ask you that is he, by the way, he put you on like what a POW would do literally 800 calories a day, working you like crazy. It's, I mean, you survived. And that's the right word to use as you survived. That's insane. That nutrient-deficient hormones probably went terrible. Your metabolism didn't survive. Yeah, so, okay. So the reason why I ask you that is because I want you to use that same dogged determination

to do what we're about to tell you to do because it's going to require as much if not more discipline than what you did before because a lot of there's going to be a lot of things that are going to tell you don't do that. You're eating too much or I need to work out more or oh no this maybe I'm going to gain too much weight type of deal. You got to ignore those voices and you can listen to the health signals of your body but you're going to have to really, really be disciplined at least in the beginning because it's going to feel kind of weird to do what we're about to say. So I know in your question, it says that you work out with weights five days a

week, that you do 30 minutes of cardio, three to four days a week. Right now your calories are about 1800, which is good. You're gaining weight, which is probably what you need to do. At this point, your body probably needs to gain a little bit of weight. I'm going to take your strength training down from five days a week to three days a week, and I'm going to take your cardio away, and I want you to just make sure you get 10,000 steps a day. And that's it. And keep your calories probably where they're at.

Where are they right now? 1800, she said. They're at 1800 right now. Give her take. I'm probably hitting closer to 16 right now because of my schedule. I just don't know what to eat or like how to approach the diet. It's kind of my struggle. Here's here's here's the two things I'll have you focus on and that's it.

Okay. Don't eat processed foods. So make sure everything you eat is whole and natural and hit your protein. Hit your body weight and protein. What's your body weight at right now? 128. Okay, so aim for about 125 to 130 grams of protein a day. So protein hit that first, so 130 divided by three or four meals, that's what you have each meal, eat it first in the meal. Shoot for whole foods, not shakes and bars. And yeah, no, nothing processed, including bars

and shakes, only use shakes at the end of the day if you totally missed your protein. Yeah, nothing processed, including bars and shakes. Only use shakes at the end of the day if you totally missed your protein. Okay, if you miss it by 20 grams, not a big deal. If you're below 100 grams, then go ahead and throw a shake in there. But hit your protein, avoid heavily processed foods. I'm gonna say, if you don't have maps in a ball, like that's the program I want you to do.

Do you have any of our programs? I have split. Wrong one. I want you to do maps in a ball. Follow maps in a ball. Do no cardio, except hit 10,000 steps a day. Do what we said. And slowly, you will regain your health. Slowly, things will start to come back. You're young. You'll be totally fine. It's going

to take some time, but it's going to feel very counterintuitive because you're so used to beating yourself up that you're going to feel like I got to be doing more. That's the the ideas to not push your body. The idea is allow your body to heal and to build some muscle. The only thing I want to add is I want to put you in our private form just because I know how challenging this can be to reverse out of this mentally. And we have several clients that are in there that either one I've helped through a bikini competition or two have dealt with something similar to this so you have a good community of people that are familiar

with this and then of course you have the three of us that are floating around in there. So I'm going to get you in the forum and then what sounds advice to you is perfect. I just stay focused on that. The hardest part is going to be the mental discipline of sticking to it, trusting the process. A little bit of weight gain is not a big deal. So hopefully we're building muscle. So there should be a little bit of weight gain on the scale. I don't want to see rapid weight gain five, 10 pounds a week adding like that would be a big deal. Then we probably have to come back a little bit on the calories for now to before we could increase, maybe we increased too much at first, but that should be the goal.

Slowly increase those calories, get stronger, stay the course. Focus on getting strong. How tall are you? Back two. Yeah, your body weight's fine. Just focus on getting stronger, doing the things we said, go through maps and a ball, like at the end of maps and a ball, you can do it again. Or if you want to do another program, I would go maps, power lift, because strength is

going to be really good to focus on right now, because it going to mess with your head because of where you came from. So bumping calories, not doing all the cardio, not lifting every single day or five days a week, it's going to mess with your head a little bit. So if you focus on Strength and you start to see the numbers go up on the bar, it's going to feel very motivating and positive to you. And that's really where you should be focused. I mean, if you were my client, that's all we would focus on, the strength. I wouldn't, I wouldn't look at anything else.

I would just look at how strong can I get you in the major lifts? Yeah, you look like you have youth on your side too. So this is, you're, you're gonna bounce back. Yeah, you'll be fine. I've worked with a lot of people like, is, was your uncle a bodybuilder? Did he compete before?

Is that why you hired him? Yeah. Yeah. He had never trained a female before to be transparent. And he didn't know, I don't think he was counting my calories. He was just giving me a meal plan. Yeah. What specifically to eat?

So it wasn't until I tracked them that I realized kind of what was happening. So I mean, look, I'm not going to, I'll tell you, the worst people, some of the worst people to hire, to give you diet and workout advice is a bodybuilder. I hate to say it. The irony of that, they're the ones giving out the most diet advice.

Yeah, I mean, your uncle, I don't know how successfully was a bodybuilding, but it doesn't matter. Oftentimes, the people who succeed at a local level, a regional level in bodybuilding, it's in spite of how shitty their programming is and their diet, it's like their body can withstand the most abuse

and they can keep the most amount of muscle with the low amount of calories and they're the ones that tend to win. They tend to not be the ones that have the best strategy. And then what they do is they take that strategy they did to themselves, which is probably what he did. And then it's like, oh, I'm gonna apply it to you. You're smaller than me, so you need this much less.

And then, oh, it's not working. Let's add more, let's cut more. Oh, it's not working. Let's add more, let's cut more. Oh, it's not working. Let's add more, let's cut more. And that's just super common. I mean, in his defense, I don't think this is just body builder guys like him. I think this is everybody.

I think everybody thinks because they got them self in shape that they can help somebody else get in shape. And it's absolutely not the case at all. Training other people and understanding the metabolism, understanding physiology, understanding nutrition, program, like there's just a whole different skill set. And then knowing all that stuff is already, takes a lot of education and practice.

And then going and applying it on all different body types, different ages, different challenges. That, I mean, it's just, people think that because somebody else can get shredded, regardless of what they did shows or not, is a good person to help us with. It's like, no, they're not at all. And this is a very common mistake that we make, especially now that Instagram is.

I wouldn't tell them anything you're doing now because he may confuse you further or whatever. I wouldn't even let him know. And if you ask to say, I'm, oh, I'm powerlifting now. I'm just trying to get as strong as possible and just, you know, leave it at that. Yeah, he didn't, he didn't even let him know and if you ask just say I'm all I'm powerlifting now. I'm just trying to get as strong as possible And just you know leave it at that. Yeah, he didn't he didn't even what meets a reverse diet or anything He just told me to go back to normal life and I gained 20 pounds immediately after so that's Of course, did you did you lose your period during that period of time and all that stuff and is your hormones back to normal?

Do they feel like they're balancing out? I got my first period back today and I stopped in May So that's good sign. Or this week. So it was been a minute. My hormones are still a little off. But I guess my concern is do you think that being lean again is still possible? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, but I wouldn't I wouldn't even do it the right way. Yeah, you got to do it the right way next time and don't even try it until you're in a room. Really good. Healthy first, yeah. Healthy, strong, fast metabolism. You know, I don't have to do tons of cardio to whatever to maintain myself. Is he, there's a lot of episodes where we've talked about this

just so you know, so I don't know if you've kind of gone through the old catalog. We've talked about this a lot. When I used to help bikini competitors, I wouldn't even let you hire me like for a prep. I wanted you in the off season, because and you need to know this, whether you hire another coach or you just do this in yourself in the future sometime. When you go into prep, where your metabolism is before prep is so important to whether

you're going to have success in prep. If you go into a prep and you are already, you know, you you got to lose 10 to 12% body fat already, you're also only eating 1800 to 2000 calories. That's a, you can't go into prep. I would not allow a girl. I don't care how much she offered me money wise. I would say no, your metabolism isn't in a healthy place for us to do an extreme diet and compete. Consider this, you're just your metabolism isn't in a healthy place for us to do an extreme

diet and compete. Consider this. You're 800 calories a day that you're eating or even your 1200 calories was just enough to sustain the life. Like it wasn't enough to recover. It wasn't enough to produce hormones, cataclysmines. It wasn't enough to support skin or hair. You probably noticed some hair loss.

You probably noticed your fingernails start to look weird, your skin probably start to change. Literally, your body didn't have enough to perform certain functions. And it was just relegated to the most basic functions which were stay alive. So. And then you're training on top of that, just exactly.

Well, that's all that. Yeah, it's literally you put yourself in a situation like POWs where they're fed, you know, a hundred calories a day and made force to work hard labor. So get make sure you get in the form, make sure you get in the form and introduce yourself. There's a lot of people that have been here before and a lot of girls that it comes. Just get strong. I'm going to tell you right now, you add a combined 50 pounds or 60 pounds of weight to

your total of your squat, deadlift, and bench, you're going to look better than you ever have. I'm going to tell you that right now. You're going to be very pleased with how you look, but for now, just focus on getting stronger. That'll get you that'll get you where you want to go. Awesome. Thank you. You got it.

All right. Thanks for calling in. Yeah, thanks, Beverly. When she said it was her uncle, I'd like held back if she, if it wasn't around, it was a rail. You know, because that's just the tough position. But I mean, obviously, I mean, if he cares about his niece, right, he doesn't know any better.

He's like, oh, this is what you do. This is what I did. But this is, listen, ladies, if your coach is starting you at 1200 calories at the beginning of your prep, fire them immediately. That is unhealthy. You're going to end up in a place where it's gonna take you a year or two to come out of. I've seen damage so bad.

I had a client, took three years. Took us three years to get things to come back to normal. And that was with dedicated work. So, if you can't imagine yourself eating 1,000 to 1,200 calories less than your current maintenance place. If that number isn't a healthy place to be, you have no business competing. That's right.

So you should be able to go like, oh, I eat 2,800 calories. Okay, I could take 1,000 calories off of that to 1,200 calories and still be in a healthy place. Like that, because you got to keep in mind that over the course of a prep. They're going to be dropping. They're going to be dropping and increasing activity. That's right. So you need to have runway. And if you come in the show already and you're unerqued prep and you're already cutting

below 2000 calories, get out now. You're not in a healthy place unless you're already, you know, one, two percent away from your goal weight, which that's a different scenario. But if you have any significant body fat to lose 10, 15, 20 pounds of fat, what are you doing? It has to be stage presentation sports have to be especially for women. The least probably the most unhealthy thing that they can compete in, period in one of those popular. Running a marathon is healthier. And I don't even think people should go run a marathon who don't have a run or doing a triathlon who don't exercise. I think it's healthier for a couch potato to train for a marathon than it is for a girl who works

out five days a week and whatever to go and turn into a competition where she can present her herself on stage. It's one of the least healthy things you can do. Yeah. Is he when you listen to this? I'm going to shout out Rochelle Adair and then also Grace Barga, who are two bikini competitors. All natural have gone and competed. One, their show is done incredible and have done that in a healthy manner. So those are great resources inside of our forum. Two ladies that have done great job.

Our next caller is Tim from Florida. Tim, what's happening, man? How can we help you? Hey, it was one of those guys. As always, wow, this is a lot more intimidating than I thought it would be. As a great person. I'll put that on you.

Yeah. Yeah. So really real quick, I definitely gotta give a shout out to Doug because he's brewing a lot of other podcasts for me because of the quality that he's put you guys in in the studio. And to one of my former coaches, Katie Butler, a couple of you guys might know her. She's my former OTF coach, but she turned me on to you guys about a year ago.

I actually listened to, started listening to one of the episodes. I was looking for a health and fitness podcast and started listening. I was like, man, what's going on here? I don't really know what this format is. I was expecting, you know, advice and all this stuff. It's like, I like I stepped the way from it and she's like, no, no, no, no, she's like, give it a chance. Like, check it out. Listen, and I've been, I probably haven't missed an episode in about a year now. So, that's really appreciate it. So, I probably haven't missed an episode in about a year now, so I really appreciate it. So I'll dive into some background. So in about 2012, 2013, I actually worked at a big box gym for a little while. The selling gym memberships and yeah, it worked out okay, but I had a friend of mine.

He was a personal trainer, brought me into the world. Never really got into it, right? Never really could find my passion for it. I always felt like, oh, this is work, this is what's going on. So I left that in about 2015, I got into tech sales, and then I'd into actually IT support,

and had I got a little heavy, and right before I moved to Florida in 2016, I got up to about 240 pounds and was having to go to the bathroom a lot and was like, man, why is vision blurry and everything? Well, one of the doctors, and they checked my blood sugar and I was off the charts, right? So they sent me to hospital, they pumped me full of IVs and then they put me on that form in for a while. I lost about 30 pounds just by changing diet and just kind of walking and everything.

Still never really found my fitness lifestyle, but as everybody else, always a lot of times does, I yo-yo dieted, right? I tried low carb, I tried all this, tried that, and I gained some of it back. And I kind of got defeated, I got lazy, and finally got to the point where I was starting to try again. I was just walking, I was just really crash-dieting again. And my girlfriend decided to try to give me a try to the T.F. And I was like, sure, I'll give it a try. I went in there

on first day and it kicked my butt, right? I barely could even run on the treadmill and fell in love, signed up, did like two days a week first when I first started the membership and then I probably got three classes in and I went unlimited. Well, I think that turned into really just overdoing it for myself, because I really love to work out. I love to be able to not have to go into a big box gym and be intimidated and go through and understand, like, I got to wait on a quit man. I don't know what I'm really doing.

I kind of have a background. I think I can deadlift. I think I can do this stuff, but the equipment's all is there, and they had benchmarks, right? It was easy for me to go, but really what that turned into is just really me finding out that I really just enjoyed kicking my ass, right? So transformation challenge came one year, and I was like, all right, I'm gonna do this,

and I did it, but as you guys always said, I didn't the wrong way. All I did was craft diet. And by the time I was done with transformation challenge, I had lost probably a good 15 to 20 pounds, but I did the in-body scan. And I basically either barely gained any muscle or lost at all. And I really came to the realization then

that it was like, this didn't work. Man, I didn't feel like I got stronger, I was weak, I was whatever. So I was like, I really struggled with trying to figure out, like, could I build the body that I wanted to build at OTF, right? Without just always being in the cardio rut. So really what I'm trying to figure out, and since I've sent in my question, I've kind of made some changes based on the subsequent episodes that I've listened to right after I sent in my question

They all seem to speak to me right? So So what kind of go we'll start there and really my main question is, you know, how do I take the skills that I've learned from you know having a few very good coaches at OTF and transitioning that into weights, right? Like I'm moving into, trying to move into anabolic, but I'm trying to move into barbell moves, but I've always been doing dumbbell moves and body weight exercises with the TRX and stuff like that. So, I'm trying to figure out how I take those skills and how I transfer,

okay, what weight should I start at? Yeah, so the transfer or the change is pretty straightforward. Stop doing OTF, it's not working for you. Go to traditional strength training and just start slow. Just start slow with the weights, work by feel. You wanna pick a weight that helps you, that allows you to perform good technique and good form, but with a decent amount of intensity within the prescribed rep range. Maps and Obolic has a pre-phase,

I would start pre-phase and I would do that for about a month, and then I would move into phase one and so on. But it's pretty straightforward. I would drop OTF completely and go 100% maps and a ball, and then just track your steps on a daily basis. Make sure you get in a decent amount of walking throughout the day. That's pretty much it, very straightforward.

The challenge is gonna be the switch, the mental switch, that's gonna be the challenge. The goal should be to get stronger, but not sacrifice, form and technique, right? So you don't wanna, and we hear us talk a lot about the importance of building strength, building metabolism up. And that's a good focus. But I sense like this kind of like, you know, concern of like, I'm not, I'm not, I haven't been deadlifting for a long time or squatting. I'm, maybe I don't have the best form or technique or whatever. Form and technique is everything,

right? So don't be afraid that you're choosing too light of a weight to get your form of technique that you're like in risk of not seeing results. You're going to see results, especially I know the format at Orange Theory. There's nothing in there that compares to a deadlift and a barbell squat. So you deadlifting and barbell back squatting 135 pounds, which I'm pretty confident a guy like you could probably do with good form and technique. Even that amount of weight is significantly different than anything you did at Orange Theory.

Orange Theory is a rack of dumbbells that stop it like what, 30 or if you know they have the bigger dumbbells that you can use for some of the exercises, but you're not doing any big leg movements with anything more than at best 100 pounds, right? There's everything is under that pretty much. And body weight stuff and suspension trainer, you're going to see great benefit from just barbell, back squatting and deadlifting and doing it real light, go light, go light and

get the technique down until you feel really comfortable and confident. And then slowly start to build on that and trusting the process, eating, hit your protein intake. That should be a major focus of you. Overall, things with nutritionally as eat whole foods, hit my protein intake every day, consistently, not every once in a while or only when you work out every single day, hit that and be mindful of the calories you consume. But I think just doing that, you're going to see a huge change. Yeah.

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong too with just focusing on those big core lifts to his point in terms of like the mechanics of it learning. It's a completely new skill. If it's something that you haven't been doing or have never done, it's going to require a lot of attention in terms of like understanding your body in every incremental inch of that lift. So, you know, if you're bracing the entire time, if you're getting in a depth, if you feel like, you know, you're in any kind of like discrepancy with your joints

and there's a lot for you to kind of work your way through mechanically. It would help a lot to maybe even have a coach or somebody a friend or videotape even you doing these lifts And then posted them in our forum so we can kind of help guide or some some other people can kind of give you some cues and feedback But really like being proficient in those lifts is gonna take you so much further You know in the rest of your pursuits. And I love Mapp Santa Ball. It is a great job of building muscle and strength. It might be a little bit much in terms of learning that new skill,

adding a lot of volume on top of that and moving in that direction. That might be a good bridge is those five core, multi-joint movements, just really hyper-focus on those. Yeah, I think starting pre-phase, do that for four weeks first. Look, if I had to label or pick one thing that defines strength training, it wouldn't be weights, it would be rest period. So I want you, because this is going to be hard for you, because you used to OTF style training.

OTF is cardio, all of it's cardio. They just throw weights at you and suspension trainers and other stuff, but it's all cardio. This is gonna feel very different. The rest periods are what make this strength training. So you do your set, good form, decent intensity, don't go to failure, but decent intensity. And then you rest, you rest for two minutes,

you're literally sitting there, waiting in between sets. That's what's gonna make it strength training. I'm so glad you said that. And a great way to help you stay in that mindset, and the app name is slipping me, maybe Justin will remember by the time it gets finished my point, is I would be doing my deadlift

and then recording it with my phone. With your bar path? Yeah, bar path, thank you. And I would have the bar path app, and I would video it, and then I would sit down in my rest period, and I'd be looking at my form watching my technique and going, oh, it looks like my hips lifted a little much there. Oh, the bar came a little forward and use that minute to three

minutes minimum that you're resting between sets to really analyze your form and technique. Go set, prop the phone back up, go do another set again, go back, reassess it, see what you're doing. Like, like get, reassess it, see what you're doing. Like get excited about learning this craft and getting good at it. And who cares? Like to Justin's point,

it may be the whole workout ends up being just deadlifting that day. That's okay. That lift is so impactful for your, you're gonna be your overall result of laying that foundation and getting good that technique. I wouldn't even mind if that's what your workouts look like some days is where all you did was deadlift and shoulder press that day.

That's all you did was barbell, over in press, and deadlift that day. But you took your time and you focused on getting really good at it and working on it. You're going to build that confidence, and really that's what it's all about. Once you get that confidence, then it's going to be a natural progression of like, well, I can keep adding weight, and then you can feel your way through that, because the goal, obviously, to keep like progressively overloading is going to be a completely different mindset shift. And so that's what we're really kind of trying to hone in on. What's exciting about this is if you do take the time to, to, who cares about how heavy

the barbell is right now, get good at the technique and you start to go like, okay, this is say the, you know, 10th time you've deadlifted at the gym and you're like, okay, this is starting to click for me. I can, and then you start stacking the weight on, watch how, watch how fast you get strong and watch how much the gains pile on when you get to that place. But don't rush to get there because along the way, we're going to see results, you're going to get better, but really focus on just getting good at those core lifts that Justin's talking about and make that your main focus. Use anabolic as your base, like this is a good program, but don't be afraid to just

spend a whole workout focusing on one of the two of those main lifts. Yeah, okay, because I think, you know, it's part of what I think I caught myself in, because I did, I kind of said, oh, you know, I've been doing orange theory. I kind of know my way around a little bit. Like, maybe I don't need preface. Let me just jump right in, right? So I did, right? I jumped right in, you know, to, to week one. And, you know, the first day, I wasn't really paying attention to myself. And I ended up doing pretty much exercises from both categories. I wrecked myself, right? I was so hard for two days after and it's like, you know, okay, so, you know, I waited and I went back

and then, you know, I focused, you know, several days after and I just focused on day two. And, you know, this felt really good for me. I felt like I had a good form, you know, I didn't get pain in anywhere that I shouldn't get pain. But, you know, of course, it's always nice to have, you know, somebody look, but, yeah, I think I've got a little bit of ego, right? Like, how do I settle the ego to, you know, I really need to go all the way

back and really, really tell myself to slow down and go through pre-phase or should I just be slowing down? Because every day that I go in, I would say that I feel great, the lifts go awesome. I feel like I can, I can deadlift. I feel like I can squat and, you in, I would say that I feel great, the lifts go awesome. I feel like I can, I can deadlift, I feel like I can squat and, you know, I've done probably three workouts out of anabolic out of, you know, day one, day two foundation. And then it's just like, I just, I'm sore afterwards for too long. So it's like, I feel like I can put more weight, you put more weight and put more weight. So it's like, do I lower the overall volume and kind of go for instead of six, you know, sets, do I lower the overall volume and kind of go for instead of six sets,

do I do like three sets, but try to just stay in that rep range of one to four or do I lower weight and continue to focus on form? Either way is fine, but it's starting pre-phase anyway. Yeah, I like the idea of lowering the weight because you're gonna benefit from the practice. So because we're wanting to get good at these squatting, deadlifting techniques

and you wanna master that craft, reducing sets means less practice. So I would rather so you go lighter weight but keep the practice up. And then again, get into the bar path app. I think it's a very valuable app to get into and just start to really geek out on your technique. I mean, still to this day, I'm like this. I always love to, when I'm home lifting video my,

my lifts because I always want to see, where's my technique at? Where can I tweak little things here and there? And get obsessed with that, like get really focused on becoming a really great squatter and deadlifter overhead presser and instead of like, oh, I need to add more weight to the bar. I'm not sweating enough, I need to get more sore.

Like that's kind of the mindset. That's the orange theory mindset of hammering the body, pushing, scoring more points. Like get out of that mindset, be all about form technique, take your time, assess it with your videos, get into it like that. Yeah, it took me a long time, I mean, it's talking about that.

It took me a long time to break away from the calorie burn mentality, right? Like it was like, oh, I can burn a thousand calories. And I was like, after I, you know, listening to this podcast and doing a lot of other reading, it's like, man, calorie can burn a thousand calories. And I was like, after I, you know, I'm listening to this podcast and doing a lot of other reading, it's like, man, calorie burn, it just doesn't matter, you know, at the time to work out.

And I kind of, I came across that with, you know, with food and diet as well. You know, I got my fitness pal at this point, you know, I'm really just trying to focus on when I log, I just log protein, right? I think I'm probably floating around 22, 2300 calories right now is probably what I'm floating at and I kind of got up to about 205 since my email, but I think I'm just about stable there and I don't really win the weekends,

right? But I'm not gaining weight, right? So it feels like it's okay that I've kind of stable there and I'm shooting around 179 for protein and I try to increase, I try to hit that and go over top of it. But that was the other thing that I did, when I used to die it, that I really took a shift on is last time I lost all that weight, dude, it was all Atkins bars and protein shakes and a little bit of chicken.

So I've been trying to not use any of that. And I think that one of the only things I really, you know, outside of, you know, eating out some a little bit here, really my biggest process food right now, and I don't know if we consider it process and we can creatures of habit, right? That's the major process food that, you know, I consume every day, but it struggles for me me because I can't eat eggs in the morning. So I usually

have, I usually choose to do that since I usually eat meat. That's fine. I love that. That's fine. That's fine. You're on the right track. Just your pre-phase. Give yourself some time. Rest in between sets. Focus on getting stronger. And it's going to work out for you. I love to hear where you're at, Tim, in the next like three to four months. So circle back with this if you can. Yeah, absolutely. Definitely would. Yeah, I mean, I've been I've been knocking around the idea of getting into the forum and I actually just ordered this order after the Stephen Cabral episode. I was like, man, I haven't been able to tolerate eggs for about

about 12 years and we had sushi the other night. And I think it had spicy mayo on it. Well, mayo is egg, right? And now I think that it's gotten to the point where now I'm like, well, now I can't have mayo, right? So that really with that episode was key. And I know you guys talk about it all the time. And I figure if I listen to it enough, right?

It'll eventually sink in. And I don't remember because Adam or Justin, and I was like, I'll say it a different way and it's going to click, right? So, yeah, yeah, definitely do that. Well, I tell you what, Doug will throw you in the forum too. So we'll put you in the forum. So you're in there and we have, we have connection with you. So he'll send you access to that. Thanks for calling me.

Got it, man. I don't guys. Thank you. A great day. Thank you, Jim. Yeah. That, uh, hmm. But what's your favorite thing to say about group training? Yeah, it's just, uh, just is not it got them in there, right? It's again, it's a stepby stone. That's the argument. But the transition to go from that to traditional spring training, you feel like you're not doing it. Yeah, I know you weigh it out

because now you have to sort of reverse engineer that mentality and completely do a new playbook. But it'll work for him. He just has to, it's the mental part that's important. You know, the sad part, the positive thing I have to say about orange theory is it's a great business. So it's smart because it gets a lot of people. I mean, that's the part that is smart about orange theory.

The modality of training for most people is just, it's just not ideal. You know, the only other person I see, like I love, like Brendan is a person who I think can do it, right? You're an athlete, you're already in great shape. He doesn't need to change body composition, doing that kind of athletic training all the time. Sure. That's fine.

That's the maintenance at that point. Yeah, yeah, sure. It's fine. But somebody who's trying to make body composition change, I just, it's a terrible strategy. It's not a long term. It's not a winning strategy. And just because you can show me somebody who has lost a bunch of weight, well, show me that person in three to five years. If the value of the workout is how hard it is, there's a problem. That's a red flag. Right. Our next caller is Mark from Canada. Mark, what's happening? How can we help you? Hey guys, thanks for having me. This is really exciting.

I'm not gonna lie, the three of you are probably the most famous people I've ever met. So that's fantastic. Awesome. Do you miss real people? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome.

So the question that I have, it's kind of a series of questions, and I'll try to summarize my letter here to the best I can is, so currently I'm doing five sets of 12 to 15 reps of zircher squats, stiff leg deadlift, bent over rows, and incline dumbbell presses. I've also added in suspension trainer seated pull ups.

And I also trained Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for four to five sessions a week and Muay Thai two to three sessions a week. And so I'm trying to understand like, am I overeating, under eating, you know, trying to do like, I'm trying to work on the reverse dieting thing. So I'm usually around 35 to 4,000 calories a day,

and I'm definitely hitting 280 to 300 grams of protein a day, because I've been tracking non-stop since May. So I weigh around, I weigh 200, all this morning, 297 pounds. And I'm just trying to, like I don't think I look any leaner, and I'm just trying to see if I'm doing this right.

And my big concern is losing strength because of Brazilian jujitsu, because it's super important at heavy weight, and not putting on too much fat. And so also trying to understand, like, would a suspension trainer be a good kind of alternative to the two weight training sessions a week, like you won weight, a suspension trainer be a good alternative to the two week training sessions a week like you one weight one suspension trainer. So yeah, I've got all sorts of questions. Too much Mark. Yeah, you're doing too much. Too much. Real quick, what's your target body weight? I mean, you're a big dude. How tall are you? So you have a target body weight? If you were to say, I want to weigh this much, this would, you know athletic or whatever body weight for me. Sure

275 is kind of what I'm thinking like a solid 25 pounds down We keep me still in that heavy weight. I could probably go lower and and and I guess that's the that's really the fundamental question It's like is like I Want to cut down, but I I need to kind of maintain that strength. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Well, with Jiu-Jitsu, you're competing in weight classes. So, it's strength to weight ratio is what you're looking for.

Not. Yeah, but once you do it, but he's a heavyweight, so it doesn't matter, right? Well, no, at this point, it's in the, right, it goes above me. But my point is if you were to go below into another weight class, it's really strength to weight ratio, that's important.

But I would aim for protein in grams for your target body weight, not for your current body weight. So if your target body weight is 275, I wouldn't go above 270 or 275 for grams of protein. Far as training is concerned, you're training a lot. I wouldn't do more than one day a week of strength training, maybe four exercises, and that's it. Four or five days a week of Jiu-Jitsu, two or three days a week of Muay Thai, anything more than one day a week of moderate intensity basic strength training is 100% going to be too much for sure. So unless you want to back off on some of the other training,

then your goal with the strength training really is just to maintain joint health, then your goal with the strength training really is just to maintain joint health, prevent injuries and maintain strength. It's going to be really hard to gain strength with strength training, while training as much as you are with Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai. Are you doing MMA? Is this prepping for MMA or are you just like doing both out of fun? No, I was competing a lot years ago and now I coach and so it's part of my day to day routine. I go to the gym, I do my tie, I do residing in Jiu-Jitsu.

I'm in my 40s now so I'm not doing any Muay Thai competition in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I'm trying to strive to get that purple belt day one day. And, you know, and so I really am just trying to stay as activated as healthy as I can. I've got lots, I've got young kids, and I'm trying to make sure that I'm just in good shape, you know. What are you strongly being able to? So go ahead, Mark, you said, did I hear you right, 3,500 to 4,000 calories? Is that how many calories you're at? That's what I'm at. And that's like, is that enough?

Is that too much? Like, is that where I'm running into issues? Well, I think where you're running into issues more than anything else is just the overtraining. I think that's a lot, you're putting a lot of demand on your body and you're trying to ask it to do something for you. And it's just, you're working against it instead of with it. So I think that's just what it is.

I think it's hard for us to say like, oh, that's too much, that's not enough. It sounds like a potentially good place to be calorie wise. My question is though, in the 3,500 to 4,000, are you good at getting through Whole Foods or do you eat out a lot? What is your, what is it? Oh, no, no, it's, it's nine, I would say,

I'm well as the 90% of Whole Foods. Oh just I eat I don't eat out very often. It's You know, you know The wife and I have a date night once a month. Maybe where I'll eat out. I even avoid You know when my staff and stuff like that want to go out for lunches and that sort of stuff I'm typically not involved in that so i'm very positive of trying to help you to say can. Yeah you're i think you're i mean i like i said i would look at protein keep it around two seventy over the over that is i mean not bad but. Probably a waste and could take away from things that carbs and fats. probably a waste and could take away from things that carbs and fats, but you're doing too much strain. Even when you look at like top level competitors, okay, and you look at their competition

schedule, a lot of times people look at a competition workout schedule and say, oh, that's how I should train. Even top level athletes, and top member with top level athletes at high levels, jujitsu or otherwise, right? People who compete and win tournaments and that stuff. You're also looking at self-selection bias of somebody who has better recovery genetically, somebody who has better resilience. They've obviously been training for a long time, but they've got that combination of good genetics

on top of it. Even those people don't train like that all the time. They train like that to get ready for competition. So, like I said, with four or five days a week of Jiu-Jitsu, and I know how demanding Jiu-Jitsu is, I've done a little bit of Muay Thai, I know how demanding that is. One day a week of strength training is, is plain,

and literally, literally, trying to figure out where to fit that in. You're doing four exercises. You're gonna go to the gym and do four lifts, three to four lifts max, and you're gonna keep the intensity moderates. And you're gonna keep the reps low-ish. I wouldn't go high reps because that's too much volume.

I would keep the reps around six to eight. I wouldn't lift to failure. I would just go in, practice the lifts, and get out. That's gonna compliment your training. But any more than that, you're redlining. You're just going to overtake you doing too much. So then should I go into a cut, I guess, is really the fundamental question. I've heard Adam say before, guys that are super heavy, we don't even bother with reverse

dieting or any of that. We just cut and go. Should I start doing that? I guess it's kind of the question. I mean, I do, I am trying to get a little bit of, I want to bring down my body fat percentage, right? Yeah. If you did, or if you did, I would make it a very mild cut.

Yeah. I would not make it an aggressive cut. I would look at my total food intake and I would like maybe cut, let's say, one of my meals and half in terms of the side. And then just start there, a couple hundred calories. And just slowly do a cut because you really want to maintain your strength.

So you want to do it in a very slow kind of way. And honestly, think if you did the strength training the way I said, you're probably gonna get stronger. Yeah, and that's, I want to add to that. So I really wouldn't do much different now that you're gonna get advice from us right now. Because if you just came from, say, training three days a week of weight training and then all that Muay Thai and Jiu-Jitsu and just scaling you back to one day a week, scaling back the intensity, you actually might

start to build a little bit of muscle, speed the metabolism up and kind of naturally lean out a little bit just from that advice. I would first kind of make that adjustment for a couple of weeks, see how you feel, what's going on with your body, and see if you notice strength getting up, see if you notice waistline coming in a little bit, you might already be on the right track there. Then I would go, okay, let me drop my calories, say three, you know, three, 400 calories from there

and see what happens, but I would first take the original advice of just cutting back on the strength training and the volume, that might already start to get, because my guess right now, while your kind of your body fat and weight is staying where it's at, is you're just throwing so much, yeah, your body is throwing so much at it,

you're just giving it enough calories to basically survive and maintain all the abuse it's taking. And so you're really not optimizing what you're doing by feeding the body appropriately and resting. Are you getting good sleep too on top of this? What does that look like? Two and a half year olds, I have a set of twins, so

some time, no. Can I answer another fact? Another three days of weekend training. Three more wide-o-large. Starving for recovery here. It sounds like. Yeah, I think so too. I think your body just needs a little bit more.

I mean, if you could, I would ask you to try and scale one of those, one of those Jiu-Jitsu days or Muay Thai. Yeah, I was just focused on one of them for a while. I know that's an easy thing to say for us, but... Do you do them on the same day? Or are they different days? They're on different days. So, well, one day a week is same day. So, like my Tuesday is a jujitsu session and then a moitai session at night. That's a lot of training, man. I would scale, I would scale a lot of that back. I wouldn't do more than, I would not do more than four days a week of combined. Combined. Combined. Yeah. You know, if jujitsu is your main focus, then just two, four days a week of jujitsu. If you don't, if you want to maintain some of the mouitai,

go three jujitsu, one mouitai, and you'll feel better. And still only one day of strength training by the way. That's how much we think you're overdoing it, is that even if you scale back on the mouitai and the jujitsu to four days, we still would say only one day of lifting and that same that recommendation.

That's how far you'll feel stronger, faster in your body, old change. I mean, why not give it that for three weeks? I mean, and just see what happens. I would love to, I would love to, like don't even really fuck with calories that much. Literally just do what we said. Scale back on the amount of a jiu-jitsu

and Muay Thai, one day of strength training with moderate intensity. And just let's see what happens in the body in three weeks. Well, put you in the forum so we can keep an eye on you. And then I'd love to hear your feedback after three weeks of taking that advice and tell us what you're noticing. Okay, absolutely. That would be great. Yeah, thank you guys.

That's really awesome. I really appreciate it. I had kind of a sense that this was going to kind of be the answer calm down a little, but you know, I thought maybe I could just like use enough calories to kind of make up the difference. You know, that's an unfortunate bodybuilding saying. There's bodybuilders. There's no such thing as an overtraining. That's only under-eating. That's right. That's a terrible, you know, stairrooted out person would say something like that.

You don't say that. If you were high for hopped up on a bunch of anabolic and growth hormone and all of that. Even true then. Yeah, even then it's true. But still, it's only then, because you almost get away with it. Get away with something like that.

But yeah, we're keeping eye on you, Mark. So join the forum. Doug will send you a link to that. And then take that advice for at least give us at least three weeks And let's and let's let's like revisit how you're feeling and then we can go from there Absolutely, that's that's awesome. Thank you guys so very much. You really appreciate it. You got him, all right, my brother Awesome. Thank you. Have a good one. You got it That saying should be more like there's no such thing as over-trained there's only

Under-eating and not taking enough antibiotics. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah. So if you're over trained and eat more and take more antibiotics, yeah, that makes more sense. Yeah, people need to realize this like this is what happens. They look at top level athletes or competitors in their jam. They go to Jitsune like, oh, that's so and so he won the US open or they're really good or whatever. Then they asked them, well, how do you train? How did you train for this tournament? Oh, I've been to Jetsu five or six days a week, and then I, and so then they emulate it. Even top athletes, people who are on the spectrum of genetics when it comes to recovery and adaptation

are like, you know, way different than the average person. Even they don't train like that all the time. They train like that in season. And if you look at the injury rate in season in comparison to off season, it's astounding. It's you explode and they need an off season to let their bodies catch up. We're talking about genetically gifted people.

Well, also keep in mind too, you're asking a body composition question in addition to all that too. It would be different if he's just like, I wanna be the best at a jiu-jitsu. Well, then maybe keep going, bro. Get rid of the weight, or get rid of the weight. That's talking whiteitsu. Well, then maybe keep going, bro. Get rid of the weight. Try to get rid of the weight.

Stop my toss. Stop. Just do just do just do just do. Just get hell of good at it. And just and okay, I'm okay with you doing five, six, seven days a week at it. Just getting good at your sport. You don't care to lose 20 pounds. You're not trying to build any muscle or strength.

You just want to get good at your craft. Fucking practice it more. But if you say things to me like, Hey, I'd like to lose 20 to 30 pounds. In addition to I want to get good at these two different, well, okay, well, now we're asking the body to do a lot. And body composition chains and getting good at a sport are conflicting. Does it mean they're impossible to accomplish,

but it just means they're conflicting. And so it takes a very delicate balance of how do I do just the right amount of this training? So I don't lose my skills. I don't need to write them out of calories. So I'm not putting on a bunch of bad way, amount of this training so I don't lose my skills. How do I eat the right amount of calories? So I'm not putting on a bunch of bad way, but yet feeding myself so I can actually recover from the sport that I'm doing.

Like it's a delicate dance that you're asking to do. Most people overshoot. They think more is better and that's gonna get them faster. And almost everybody I ever talked to that is trying to juggle both of these are just doing way more than they need to. Look if you like Mind Pump, head over to MindPumpFree.com and check out some of our fitness and health guides.

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