Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 221: Everyone Relax!

Episode Date: January 18, 2016

Stress is a killer! We all experience it. However, not everyone deals with it in the same way. You have a choice, let stress take control of you or you take control of stress. Sal, Adam & Justin provide some valuable tools and perspectives on how to reduce the impact of stress on your life. Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Learn more about Mind Pump at www.mindpumpradio.com

I have kissed so many dudes on the cheek. Oh, no, yeah, I am telling you. If I go out, I'm having one of those moments I'll grab my buddy's face and I'll just give him a fucking kiss right in his forehead. If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mind, mind, up with your hosts. Salta Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. There's a little bit of, I don't know if you guys, do you guys feel the, it's a little bit of tension in here. It's like a thick, static fog. You know, I gotta say something.

I'm not going into details because it's personal stuff, but I'm kind of crapped out. And then Adam's kind of crapped out. And so the two of the three of us are in a crapped out and then Adams kind of crapped out. And so the two of the three of us are in a crapped out mood a little bit. The neat part though, and another reason why I love you guys is, you know, and we, and this is probably only the second time I think we've kind of shared it on the radio

for, you know, shit over a year now. And obviously it's happened more so than that. And when Sal says crap down, everyone's like, oh, we have a bad day, you have bumpy, we have a curtocard. This is big shit. This is big shit that we're not in the neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, this is big stuff going on.

It just happens to be both of us and stuff like that at the same time right now. And, you know, but at the same time too, I also think it's a great topic because this is the type, there's always something. One of my favorite quotes is, there's no such thing as big problems, I also think it's a great topic because this is the type, there's always something, one of my favorite quotes is there's no such thing as big problems, only problems that we make big. You know, and it really is that way.

It's all about your outlook on what's going on. And I truly, I try and look at the silver lining and everything that comes our way. Well, I think we should clarify too because we're not going to details, people are going to speculate like crazy. No one's dying, so nobody's, there's no chronic illness, something like that.

Mine pump is great, so it has nothing to do with business. It's just personal stuff, but it's heavy. It's hard stuff, and you're absolutely right, dude. When you go through life, you're gonna encounter shit that's going to be hard and heavy and sometimes devastating, you know, the death of a loved one. I mean, unfortunately, that's the one guarantee in life, right? Is that you're not gonna be here forever.

Sometimes you have illness, there's divorce, there's always, you know, loss of a job. There's always horrible, horrible challenges that everybody will have to encounter and some of them have to encounter more than others. And I think the only thing, the only controllable in the world really is your attitude and how you perceive them or how you allow yourself to perceive them. Because I know myself personally, it's hard for me to be down for a long time. That doesn't mean that the issue went away. It doesn't mean that I've solved the problem. Sometimes problems can't be solved. It just means that it doesn't feel good.

I mean, it doesn't fucking feel good to be down, to feel shitty, to be under stress. And I know this and I recognize it. And after a period of time, I can't do it. I refuse to do it because I don't want to feel shitty anymore. So it becomes a decision. Do you guys have like exercises that you do or things

that you tend to lean towards when this happens? Because obviously this happens in our life multiple times. And more probably more often than people realize, do you guys have tendencies that you tend to do after? That's you, Zoo, and I start trying to go for PRs and doing crazy intensive lifts cuz like I have to divert this energy into Something that's you know just and so the aggressor right? Yeah, I get mad he's like I'm gonna go put a fucking hole

It's usually when I do underground bear knuckle fighting that's when I The fight club pretty much take care of it for sure no for me. It's cocaine. I just do a lot of cocaine I do underground bear knuckle fighting that's what I The fight club pretty much for sure. No, for me, it's cocaine. I just do a lot of cocaine And I just you know immediately feel better Doug's ass just puckered up I'm joking. I fucking saw from here. Remember those disclaimers we talked about Yes, no, I'm joking. Here's my here's my thing. you have some like your major circles family, your relationship, work, whether you're working for somebody or in our case, we work for people and we have entrepreneurship going on.

We all kind of stuff, right? So, one of these things, and to me, I feel like there's always something going on with one of them. One of them, I think the way I get through this stuff is the negative energy that I feel from one of them. So let's just say it's, you know, something related to your personal life. You know, personal life is down or family life is down. Then what I have to do is I have to take that energy and then I'm going to put it towards any of the other other facets of my life. So I actually typically end up becoming very successful

right after that because I end up bearing myself into work and I'm sure somebody might say that same unhealthy or unbalanced because you're doing it. But the way I look at it is, if I'm failing somewhere in my life, which to me I feel like is inevitable and is always happening to us, but then I'm excelling somewhere else. You're gonna dig your way out. Yeah, that's how I feel like is inevitable and is always happening to us. But then I'm excelling somewhere else.

You're going to dig your way out. Yeah, that's how I feel. So I feel like it'll, it'll, it'll recreate that balance within balance if that makes sense, right? It does. We'll see for you. And because I know some people listening or thinking like, oh, bury myself in a work, that would be, it's probably a horrible thing.

It depends on the person. Right. You know, Adam, you know, myself, Justin, you know, even Doug, the four of us, I can speak for you guys, I know this now, about you guys, well about myself, is that our work, what we do is passion-driven, it's not a job, it can very much become our lives because we love it. If I won the lottery, if I won that one point, whatever, $5 billion, I wouldn't stop doing what I'm doing. Because I love it so much. So really what it is, we say it's work, but in reality, you're bearing yourself in something

you love, something that feeds your soul, and it just so happens to be your job, or your work. And most people don't have the luxury of that. Most people have, you know, hate their jobs or hate their work, or they have other things that they enjoy. So I guess the advice would be to do things that feed your soul, that make you feel good and whatever that may be, maybe that may be meditation or hiking or being with your, you know, your pets or your family.

But for some of us, it's, it's, it's our work. And I'm the same way. I'm exactly the same way. I, you know, I bury myself in typically in research I remember a few years ago someone very very close to me the most devastating thing that I've ever experienced in my life Someone very close to me had was fighting cancer and they actually died and The what made me feel better and what helped me was to bury myself into research and That's something I enjoyed doing anyway, And so I would just bury myself into it

and learn about how to help this person. And then in other things, also a lot of times I'll research other things that didn't have to do with that particular situation. And it did make me feel better. But we're talking about stresses that are acute, you know what I mean? We're talking about life changing events.

Most of the time, I mean, everybody's gonna have those, right? But most of the time, people are not experiencing these life changing events. That'll happen once, then nothing will happen for five years or whatever. Most of the time, people experience this low level to moderate level stress that's constant. Because what happens with the acute stress, let's say your best friend dies, right? It's gonna be a cure, it's gonna be horrible for a year or two years or three years,

but then you come out of it, you start to come out of it. That's damaging to you, it's hard, you go through it, you learn, you grow from it, hopefully. But this low level to moderate level of stress that never goes away is what really affects people. Oh yeah. And I wanted to talk about that because, we talk a lot about health and fitness

and getting more muscular and burning body fat and feeling better. And I would say easily the most overlooked factor in people's exercise routines and health routines is stress management. Like you ask somebody that are routine, like what do you do for health? And they'll be like, I run, I love weights, I eat right.

And that's it. Like okay, what do you do for stress management? What do you specifically do to target that low to moderate level of stress that we all experience on a daily basis? Because you know, you have kids, you're married, you work, you got to pay bills, you know, whatever. How do you deal with that or what do you do with that? Because people underestimate it.

You know, they don't think it affects them. Well, that or they also take, you know, we know, we know guys like this, their buddies of ours that they take their load of stress, they have all day long and then they go take that and then they pound the shit of themselves inside the gym, which is just another stressor. And in reality, they probably should have chose something that's more meditative.

You know, something that's more relaxing, or if you are going to go workout, it should be more therapeutic instead of hammering the body. You've been hammering yourself all day long, stress-wise, than to go inside the gym. And we've kind of mentioned this before on a podcast where, you know, we talked about that type A personality, a lot of, you know, it's taken me years in my career to really be able to pinpoint this and assess it right away when I meet somebody, but I'm pretty good at now when I talk to

someone and I learn about their career, what they do, and ask the right questions, I kind of pull out and realize, okay, this is what I've got this, and we deal with it a lot as trainers because a lot of type A personalities are very successful and have good businesses and make good money. And they try and take the same mentality that they have applied to their success and business of killing themselves to be successful financially to over into the gym.

And when in reality, because there's somebody who's like that, it's even more important for that person to find something that is low level. You know, that's not as so intense driven all the time and it's important to have that balance. Well, they just completed, there's some studies in that that are showing, no joke, no shit, that a lot of back pain, a lot of low back pain is emotional and stress related. So where they have these people with low,

and as trainers, we've all seen this. Somebody will have back pain, or they'll do MRIs, they'll do tests, they'll do all this shit, and everything looks fine. There's no structural problems, and they can't figure out why the person's back hurts. Or you'll have someone who's got a slip disk, got different issues with their spine, and they'll have someone who's got a slip disk, you know, got, you know, different issues with their spine

and they'll have no symptoms at all. It's so interesting because you bring that up. Like, there's so many different areas people, like they have pain or like, for instance, like they get really tight. Like for me, my jaw and grinding my teeth and like, you know, there's just like these, it's very individual sometimes where you see people,

where they hold stress. And, you know, for me, being able to identify, like certain knots in my body are like places where I know that like, oh my God, I'm like, I'm stressing, this isn't like from working out, this is me stressing out. And I mean, that'm like, I'm stressing. This isn't like from working out. This is me stressing out. And I mean, that's a hard thing to assess, but I feel like once you get a good sort of pulse on that,

it's helpful because then it shows you, look, I need to schedule and prioritize, you know, a way to remove myself for a minute and catch a breath of fresh air. Stress definitely manifests itself physically. 100%. It is not a lot of times you don't even identify it. I can't tell you, I'm speaking from personal experience.

We're all having an issue. Here's a real mild one, right? I will twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, and it's like fucking going on. And after about a month, I'm like, great, I have multiple sclerosis. Something crazy. Okay, really? And it, you know, but it's actually stress.

It manifests itself physically. Some people will have pain, systematic pain, pain in their body, their joints, they'll feel low energy, sex drive, appetite. You lose your appetite, or you get a massive appetite. You find yourself having cravings, sleep quality, vivid dreams, people under a lot of stress sometimes will have just very vivid, crazy wild dreams. Your moods, your anxiety, depression,

but besides all those feelings type of things, physically things will manifest themselves. There's lots of situations where people will go and learn to relax and come out and all of a sudden be like, oh, I don't feel so tight. And think about it this way. Stress, our bodies evolved with mainly acute stress. I mean, as cavemen or whatever,

we encountered situations that were very dangerous, got over those, ran away from the bear or whatever, and then we had period of no stress because I'm not about to die right now. Because it was all different back then. And then, oh, acute stress and then I'm okay now. This low level constantly thinking about my job or my kids, am I gonna pay these bills or my future

and that over time causes these kinds of problems and they will manifest themselves. Well, it's crazy that I just remembered this one study. I had watched this documentary in this lady that was studying a certain group of monkeys was just observing like the hierarchy and she noticed that your alpha types, like there was a couple like the hierarchy. And she noticed that, you know, your alpha types, like there was a couple in the group

that were the alpha types that were just, you know, live in like kings. And, you know, the stress levels, they were actually testing their stress levels. And the ones that were like immediately below them that were trying to overtake them were like under the most extreme stress because like they're always battling between

trying to fight their way to the top and then everybody underneath it. And the lifespan was like so significantly less for these monkeys that were under stress. And it's just, I mean, the overall thesis was basically like, you know, it's good to be on top. It's good to be the king. And, you know, just seeing that you have control over stress,

but, you know, it's this hustle. It's this hustle to always try to, you know, get more, achieve more beyond top. And that's really gonna kill you. It's, you have to be, it's tough, right? Because I'll tell you what, for me, one of the hardest things to do is to slow down, you know, I, for a little while, I would do these restorative yoga

classes that I would take. And I'll be honest, I fucking hate restorative yoga. I hate it. Why do I hate it? Because I'm sitting there, I'm quiet, and I'm just in my fucking thoughts, and I'm holding a stretch, and I don't like to stretch. As you try not to fart.

And yeah, I'm trying not to fart. I'm holding these positions, and it's like, I have to be with myself. I have to be quiet, I have to slow down. It's forcing me to recognize my stress. You know what I'm saying? And I don't like that. The funny thing is, after doing it, I feel great.

I feel fantastic, but like this was totally, totally an exercise, because it's uncomfortable. Totally something I need. And so that's what I mean by putting it in is part of your plan. Like if you're an athlete that trains hard, or you're a gym rat, and you work out real hard, look at your routine, where do you insert those things for you? And it's not just about feeling

better right away because I can work out real hard and feel better right away because I exerted all this energy, but it's like, is it targeting? Are you are you doing anything specifically targeting letting your body come down, allowing yourself to de-stress to, you know, relax, meditate, you know, bring yourself down a little bit rather than bring yourself up all the time. Because what we need to understand is that state of stress and the body, there's very specific things that happen, certain hormone releases, cortisol is released and prostagladins are produced and things happen.

And the reason why that happened is they're getting you ready to run or fight, right? Fight or flight. But which is fine, it's necessary, but low levels of that for long periods of time become destructive on the body. Well, in that same reaction, you'll get that just from driving

or day to day activities. It's crazy, you'll have that fight flight. The pattern is still there, it's just that now, it's, we're experiencing it in multiple forms all day long. Dude, it requires a ridiculous amount of self-awareness. Like, for me, I'm gonna speak for myself again. You talked about grinding your teeth, right? And I, and stuff like that's a sign of stress.

For me, I'll be standing and I'll be doing something, washing dishes or whatever. And I'll notice my glutes are clenched. Like I'm squeezing my glutes and I'm tense. You know what I'm saying? And- Is that prison nervousness? No, I'm not like no access. No, I'm not doing that. I'm just tense. And I mean, I guess the good part about is I have amazing glutes now because of the constant trigger sections that I'm doing on my

ass. But- So I was going to say something. But I won't notice it. Like I'll be doing something and I'll like I'll make a mental check of myself like okay Let's like cuz I'm you know I'm usually I'll put my headphones on all this in musical. I'm doing it and I'll be like oh shit Why am I cleansing like why am I? Tanced like why am I squeezing my glutes for I need to just chill. I hold my breath. You hold your breath. Yeah, that's my thing

So you you don't even notice it just like you're saying like you like I also catch myself That was like oh shit. I haven't taken notice it. Just like you were saying, like I all of a sudden catch myself, that was like, oh shit, I haven't taken a breath in like a minute, you know. You're like, then you go right back and what, and it's normally when I'm really focused or really stressed a lot on my mind,

you know, I'm so into my thoughts that I don't even pay attention to how I'm breathing. And I'm like, it's great. I'm like so in there that I'm like trying to listen to myself, talk to myself, and I'm holding my breath. And I don't realize until I actually need the air, and then I catch myself, take it a huge, deep breath. I'm like, oh shit, I was sitting there holding my breath.

I have someone that I'm helping online right now. She's, if you look at her, she's a, I mean, she looks like a sculpture. She's very lean, very functional, very muscular, in a very natural but athletic way. Yet, she's experiencing all these symptoms of gut issues, pain issues, hormone issues, energy, sleep, that kind of stuff, all symptoms of leading to something

like metabolic damage, which a lot of it comes from stress as well, and overdoing things. And so a lot of my advice was to slow down. So I told her, cut down this cardio. I wanted you to do yoga twice a week, but it has to be restorative, or you can meditate, or you can go for a long, slow walk. That's your cardio.

Once you go walk real slow. And telling someone like that, that is, for is, for her it's probably very difficult to hear because she's a machine. If you saw her, she is literally a machine. She's one of the top, she's like the 1% of people who work out. And, you know, luckily she was at the point where she was self-aware enough to kind of recognize it

and she's doing it. And we're only two weeks into it, but already she's seeing the benefit. She's already saying, wow, I feel better, my sleep's a little bit better. And those changes are going to, we changed her diet to, to kind of be nourishing. And it's, it's a difficult thing to do if you're in that position because part of it too, if you're into fitness, part of the whole slowing down thing, there's also this fear. There's the fear of a, I don't like doing shit that's not challenging because it's not fun.

And then here's the other challenge. I'm gonna get fatter, I'm gonna lose my muscle. Like I have to be a hundred percent all the time, or I'm gonna lose my gain. And that's a fear which causes anxiety. It causes lots of anxiety, and it prevents you from, you know, prevents you from really doing what's good for your body.

And here's the flip side of that, by the way. You address these issues, you address them, and you make them part of your programming, part of your routine. You're actually gonna, I mean, from a visible standpoint, you'll look better. Oh, yeah. Your skin will look healthier, your eyes will look, you know, you know, we'll call sunken in and dark circles.

It's amazing when you, I can always tell when I see someone who's like really healthy. You just tell, you tell their skin, their face. Yeah, they're vibrating glow, you know? It's a trick, especially as we age. We're a certain team. I mean, you try to come out of 17 or 20 year old. It's kind of hard to tell,

but as we start to get into our 30s, 40s and 50s, I mean, how many 30 year olds you guys know that are in your mid 30s like us and that were buddies or girlfriends years when we were growing up and you see them now and you're just like, damn. The ravages of stress have destroyed me.

Oh yeah. Like, yeah, but work's been good, I see, huh? It's horrible. I have good year reunion, that's always fun. I'll have clients that will, that are super go-go-go executives. And I can always see in their face and their stress and I'm always trying to balance the workout between,

okay, we're trying to produce results and we're just trying to get your body to come down a little bit. So I'm always trying to balance that, right? And then they'll go on a vacation. Like, oh, I'm going to Hawaii for a week. They won't work out when they're Hawaii, they'll eat whatever, they'll come back

and I'll look at, I can always tell, I'm like, they look five years younger. Holy shit, you came back from vacation and you look better than when we were working out and you're trying to eat right because you Allowed your you you kind of let go a little bit. Yeah, it's it's it's it's dramatic in many cases catching all them Sun rays too. It's dream. It's dream. Yeah, you get in the sunshine And yeah, it's pretty dramatic. So I think if you're if you're Looking to make the support of your team, even if you do it, and it depends on the person, but even if you do it once a week, like take one day a week and instead of doing your hardcore cardio or whatever, say to yourself, you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna get an audiobook, something that's enjoyable. I'm gonna play that audiobook on my headphones and I'm gonna go for a slow walk. Dude, it's so funny. This is where we're so much alike. That's, that is me right there. Throw on a podcast that I like to listen to that's informationally know that I enjoy. Go walk the dog. That is, that is my troll. Because I also feel like, and I know it's, it's relaxing and I want it to be therapeutic, but part of what drives me and makes me feel happy

and what makes me tick is growing, right? We've kind of talked about this before about growth. And so I feel like if I can do something that's relaxing, meditating, and I'm learning all at once, it's like I feel like I can walk away from that being like, fuck, productive. Yeah, I feel super productive and accomplished without having to work so hard and killed in the gym

or done something super intense. You know, the last hour that hour and a half is absorbing. Yeah, right? I was, I was, what was it, what did they say? Or no, you said it to the day on the, the lady who told you work on your work inside out versus. Instead of working out, work in. Yeah, sometimes.

Yeah, work in. That's what it is. That's what it is. Because you think of working out, it's putting energy out, it's pushing, it's, ah, everything's out. Working in is quiet. Inside, internal. I'm here now.

I'm in the present. I'm not thinking about future, am I thinking about past? Very difficult to do, by the way. But I am present right now. I'm aware of my body, I'm aware of how things feel. I'm aware of my breath. I'm aware of how I feel at this very moment, and I'm also aware that the past and present

are don't really exist, the only thing that exists is this very second, which is now gone, it doesn't exist anymore. They just got a bone here. And I just got it, I always have a bone here. I always have a bone here. The, for me, you know, because yes, I love to learn, right? But this is something I've had to identify for myself.

Because learning for me or reading, you know, I'll get all excited and I'll get all obsessed about a subject. And I'll start reading some hardcore shit, studies and research and I'll get super engulfed into it. And yes, I love it. But I recognize that for me, that isn't restorative. It's actually a form of stress on me. It might be different than other forms of, you know, than other types of stress. But for me, it gets me so obsessed and so going that it's not my restorative thing. So what I do, because I'm always trying to grow, just like what you just said, Adam,

is I'll rather than reading things that are very factual, objective, things that are very specific, is I'll read something that's very esoteric, or I'll listen to something that's very esoteric. So nothing that's like research and studies, but I'm going to read a book about spirituality or spirituality or there's a book called Many Lives, Many Masters, one of my favorite books of all times.

It's a very esoteric book. It gets you to think a lot and it's a story. So it's not like a scientist saying this, it's a story. It says it's a true story, but it nonetheless, it's a story. So it's not like a scientist saying this, this, it's a story. It's, it, it says it's a true story, but it's nonetheless, it's a story. And so I can kind of get lost in it and get lost to my, my thoughts and things that are abstract and not so concrete and hard and, um, and so, you know, quote unquote, stressful in that sense. Or, you know, I read, and then of course, when I read that book, it took me into a, and then I, then there were things that I could get real obsessed about information and stuff like that.

But I try to find those type of topics, like okay, I'm gonna go on the internet, I'm gonna watch a video on, you know, this philosophers concept of consciousness, you know what I mean? That's a very esoteric, very kind of out there. But I'll think about that, I'll meditate on that, and that to me is more restorative, and I still feel like I'm growing. No, I like that. Oh, I'll meditate on that. And that, to me, is more restorative. And I still feel like I'm growing.

No, I like that. Oh, I like that a lot. I, how about, you know, not dwelling on it and just kind of sit around, because you think, okay, someone might hear this and go, okay, well, rest, I'm just gonna stay home. I'm gonna stay home, I'm gonna do anything. And then you have kind of just as bad of effect

because you sit and you... Depends on where your mind is, man. That could be horrible, right? You sit and you're just... Just doing it. Wallowing it, feel sorry for yourself. You just, like, you you and that's goes back to the making the problem even bigger than what Almost is better to move, you know, even if it's a real subtle movement. Yeah, you just just to get you know the body Off of that fact where it's just all in the head right here's something else that I noticed that just really just came to me real strongly right now

That is a very very big part of how I handle Tough situations or even low moderate levels of stress You know a lot of times and wonder we're under a higher than normal amount of stress a lot of us become irritable and snappy and angry Okay, and we tend to take it out on the people around us. We tend to take it out on the people we love We tend to take it out on the people around us. We tend to take it out on the people we love, probably because we know they're not going anywhere, so we can punch them like punching bags, and they're not gonna go anywhere,

and it's a safe place to let out your anger and frustrations. Well, here's something that I started doing a long time ago in situations like this. Rather than allowing myself to be irritated with people around me or things around me, and getting things out in that way, I remind myself how much I love with people around me or things around me and getting things out in that way. I remind myself how much I love the people around me who've been there for me and then I verbalize it.

I tell them, when I'm under stress, if you're close to me, if you're my friend and I'm under a difficult situation, you're going to hear more things out of me like, I love you, I care about you, you're such a good friend. You know, I appreciate everything you've ever done for me and people feel uncomfortable and I apologize if you're one of my friends and I make you feel weird because I tend to do this, but it feels so much better and it helps them because people around you want to help,

you know, sometimes when you're in a serious situation they want to help you and they just don't know how. And really treating them like shit is not a good strategy, even though they might understand. But saying these kinds of things to them, man, it comes back times a million. All of a sudden you've got people who, you know, just they just want to listen. They want to be there for you. And it just, it's just so much more effective. And it makes me feel better to tell people that like, oh man, you know, you know, I'm so stressed out right now. This stuff's going on, but I want to let you know, dude, like I seriously appreciate you listening to me

for the last 10 minutes, talk about all my problems. And they're going to always respond with, no, no, no, no, I'm your friend. I'll listen to it. No, I understand that, but you just sat there and listened to all this stuff. And I don't care that you say something or nothing. I just want to let you know, man, I appreciate you doing that.

And one day, I hope I can repay you. Saying stuff like that makes it, it helps a lot. Makes a big, big difference. That's just a little thing that I've found in the past. Sometimes, bro, I tell you what, sometimes we couldn't be more of it. You guys are the same. I know you've received those text messages before for me. Absolutely.

I mean, Justin, I've been together for a very long time and that is what I am notorious. It is exactly the same. When I get stressed and I'm down and some of that, I do the exact same thing. I look at the things that I am grateful for in my life and especially the people that are closest to me that do make my life easier, that do make my life better, and then I express it, and I'm totally that guy. And I'm totally that guy, I'll send it to another guy,

no Justin's received, and lose 10, 15 of those messages from me for over the last 10 years for me. Oh, they naked pictures. I'm not even uncomfortable anymore. Yeah, all right. You totally just receive it. And I try and reciprocate it.

And almost, you know, listening to you say it, and then realizing, you know, myself have the same habits. It's almost like the drunk guy who gets really happy you know I'm saying exactly I love you bro you know you mean so much to the other guy you're uncomfortable don't kiss me yeah that's on that guy oh dude I just don't kiss me I'm a very I'll tell you what dude this is fun hug you I'm a very touchy-feely person. I will kiss you. I Have to kiss I gotta watch out for your Italian bro. It's my time. That is I have kissed so many dudes On the cheek. Oh no, yeah, I am telling you. I'll if I go out I'm having one of those moments

I'll grab my buddy's face and I'll just give him a fucking kiss right in his forehead You know what I was raised that way I would I would do that's fine You gotta repeat that line like three times in a row. They're like I'm a fucking kiss right on his forehead. You know what? I was raised that way. I was. That's fine. You got to repeat that line like three times that are all there. Let's start the episode of that. Yeah, we gotta hear that in there a few times. Yeah, listen, I have, he said it with a 32.

I have kissed lots of men in my life. Lots of men in my life. And only listen, it only counts if there's tongue. If there's no tongue, it's true. I was raised that way. We, my family, my family, we kiss a lot. It's just the way we go. You know, the reason I was smirking

and I had to share that myself, I mean, you said that was, you obviously have thought about that. And I like to think I'm pretty self-aware guy and reflect on, you didn't realize that you did that? No, you know, not to eat, why am I, I'm like, holy shit, that is so me right there. Because I am the guy out of, all my buddies

and stuff like that on the one that does that the most. And I do it, I tend to do it anytime. Other shit's bad. When shit's not going good in my life and stuff like that, or I got a lot of stress on me, you know, I've already sent out two of those text messages already, you know, so that's just, that's my, that is my emotion to find.

I'll tell you what, as a man, coming from a man, because I think women have an easier time doing this Oh a lot of it's girl all the girl listeners right now are like no big deal. Yeah, that's that's a That's a like groundbreaking. Yeah, that's it. That's a cultural societal thing right women women are yeah But we that's that's why I'm trying to learn from you guys not there yet We're gonna get a text from Justin. He's it's gonna be like I like you guys You guys are not there yet. We're gonna get a text from Justin, it's gonna be like, I like you guys. I guess it. You guys are cool. Yeah, you're gonna see like a culpable.

Okay, I will later. I like your shoes today, I wish to. Yeah. Yeah. You're an asshole. High five. You're an asshole, but you're a cool asshole. I just feel like I have a-

Coming from a man, I gotta say this, coming from a man, let me tell you why this is such a big thing. I'm not trying to go on as another subject, but because society says, in cultures say, it's not okay for men to express themselves with affection. In particular, some cultures, it's okay to express your affection physically. I'm Italian. It men kiss each other all the time. But it's not, it's not really acceptable to really be verbal about it in most cultures. Like, you don't, you can't,

it's hard for a fucking guy to sit across from another dude and talk about for five minutes how much they love and appreciate that guy. It's uncomfortable. Justin right now listening to me is fucking crawling out of the skin. You see my nails, this digging, this chair. I'm creating stress in Justin, right? That's a matter of fact. But to be able to say it and to be comfortable with it

and to release it, let me tell you something man, it is an amazing feeling because, I'm a sound stupid, but, you know, every day could be your last day. And I'll tell you what man, if today's my last day, I'm comfortable knowing I told the people around me how I really fucking feel. There's no secrets, you know what I mean?

There's no like, I hope they know how much I really, really care about that person. They fucking know. It even kind of goes back to our whole mantra, which is zero fucks, man. I mean, that's what, to me, it's like, I don't give a fuck with somebody else things. I don't care if you're gonna interpret it as me being gay.

I don't care. You know what I'm saying? I don't care about all that shit. He's all dutch rhetoric. Totally normal. Yeah, I know. I don't care. You have to have that attitude. Like, he's all dutch rhetoric. Totally normal. Oh, I know. I don't care. That's, and you have to have that, that attitude.

And I, you going back to society, I feel like society is so quick to judge everybody. And that, it's their own insecurities that do that. And that's something that I learned a long time ago was just like, you know, when people have issues with things like that or people talk shit or people like, that's, to me, like now that stuff doesn't even stop bothering me a long time ago, because instantly right away, if anyone ever attacks me or says something, derogatory towards like something like that, it's an automatic, obvious alarm just went off of that person has got some serious issues they're dealing with,

and that's how they are, they're verbalizing it by making putting you down or making you feel silly for something that they feel insecure about because they can't do. Yeah, I'll tell you what, the sense of comfort you get, like you feel so much more comfortable in your skin. Shit just rolls off your body. Dude, you feel so much more comfortable in your skin when you stop giving a shit about what people think about you. I feel like it just feels good.

And I feel like I like to think that, and I'm sure if we, some of our older listeners that are, That's a stress reliever right there. 50, 50s plus and so that, you know, getting way up there, like in dogs age, I'm sure dog can attribute that. We call them the silver age.

Well, and I've heard people say this before, right? Like you, you're 20s or this way, 30s or this way, 40s or this way, and they kind of say like when you get around your 40s and 50s, you kind of just naturally people get that like Finally, they go like what the fuck do I care? I'm gonna wear some pro yeah pro wing sneakers and Haynes white t-shirts every fucking day Because why should I do anything else? I'm gonna wear that tiny ass little robe that my balls Yeah, yeah, exactly at one point and you get that I find it

I think it's very empowering and it's it's awesome to see when we start learning that early on, earlier in life. When Justin's in his like 40s, 50s, he'll start dressing like a Jedi. He's gonna wear the brown real like fucking Obi-Wan. I hope you do that sooner than that because I can't wait. That'll be just be funny. You walk in the studio all day. He's like I'm comfortable.

I don't care what people think. I'm up one stew all day. What did you walk that run out? He's like, I'm comfortable. I don't care what people think. I'm up one with the force. It's not good. Oh my God. I told Adam, like, back when I was like working on this game, I went just to learn. Like, I'm this guy that wants to go places that like, I, people wouldn't think I ever would do.

And I went to this one, get together. It was all these game developers. And I walk in. And it was like, nobody developers and I walk in and it was like Nobody would talk to me dude, and I'm like hey guys and like everybody was like kind of staring at their computer and like Scared to talk I'm like dude. I like I want to learn from you guys like. Oh, what are you working on there? like like like oh, it was so awkward I just don't fit I don't fit with them. Did you tried? fit, I don't fit with them. Did you?

Yeah, I don't, you know what? I just want you know, not to go on to the subject, but if I'm at a party, I'm the guy that roams around. Oh, I'm totally. I don't fit in one, like I'll hang out with two or three people, and then I, okay, I gotta go like, I gotta roam around, because I don't feel like I necessarily fit in one,

you know, one group. Yeah. Very, very strange. Except you guys, I can probably hang out with you guys for a couple hours. I think in one, you know, one group. Yeah, very, very strange. Yeah. Except you guys, I could probably hang out with you guys for a couple hours. Yeah, that's what's weird. Well, I think that also goes to our curious minds too. I want to know what's going on all around me. I'm saying, when you say that I envision myself like when we're in Vegas and we'll always

have some table somewhere out there and the place is going crazy, I can't just stay at my table and dance there all night long. Oh, you got to walk around. I've got to walk around and go around and mingle and see there and the place is going crazy. I can't just stay at my table and dance. I'll dance there all night long. Oh, you got to walk around and go around and mingle and see people and see what's going on. Like, I don't know. I just, I feel like you're a part of this crazy thing that's happening with all these people in one place. When you think about that, that's kind of unique. You know, saying that many human beings that, that different all mingling and doing stuff

and dancing and talking and yelling and screaming and spilling alcohol. It's just, I'm fascinated. I'm a people watcher for sure. You know, say it's I got to I got to get around and in her twine. It sounds way better than a game development conference. Hey, you know what? Before we sign off, this show doing this talking on this mic, knowing, I don't even know. I mean, people are listening or not.

Just talking like this. You don't know. No, I mean, I know, but what I'm saying is, it's therapy. It's, are you kidding me? It's crazy therapy. This is the most therapeutic thing I've ever done in my entire life.

I already feel, seriously, I already feel a lot better. Every time. Every single time, so. Good. Thanks for listening. And please subscribe to Mind Pump. I believe it's a five-star rating in review. We love you, we care about you.

Restortive Mind Pump. That's right. Thank you for grab the Mind Pump and leave us a 5-star rating and review. We love you, we care about you. Restortive Mind Pump. That's right. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. For more information about this show and to get valuable free resources from Sal, Adam, and Justin, visit us at www.mindpumpradio.com. Until next time, this is Mind Pump. Until next time, this is MindPump.