Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 2309: One Small Thing You Can Do to Accelerate Progress in the Gym, What to Focus on When Starting Out as a New Lifter, the Value of Encouraging Rather Than Forcing Physical Change & More (Listener Live Coaching)

Episode Date: April 6, 2024

In this episode of Quah (Q & A), Sal, Adam & Justin coach three Pump Heads via Zoom. Email [e-mail] if you want to be considered to ask your question on the show. Mind Pump Fit Tip: Don’t listen to the world if you want to be healthy. (1:43) Highlighting the incredible and rewarding benefits of being a personal trainer. (11:03) Mind Pump has officially partnered with NASM. (15:01) Adam’s mindset taking on this Tirzepatide experiment. (23:27) Sal’s fitness crisis. (30:11) Nothing will test you more as a parent than poor sleep. (33:07) The art of gentle parenting. (39:12) Building confidence in your kids. (46:42) The Caldera authenticity. (55:55) Shout out to the FREE 3-Day Mind Pump Personal Trainer Webinar. (1:00:51) #ListenerLive question #1 - Why do I look so small even if I train and eat the right way? (1:01:43) #ListenerLive question #2 - How do you develop custom trigger sessions? (1:09:56) #ListenerLive question #3 - What are some realistic expectations for a seasoned woman who is lifting for the first time in her life? (1:18:13) Related Links/Products Mentioned Ask a question to Mind Pump, live! Email: [e-mail] Exclusively for Mind Pump Listeners, NASM is offering their CPT (Certified Personal Trainer) Premium for the Price of Self-Study ($899) usually $1,249. Get All Inclusive for the Price of Premium ($1179) $1899 $151/mo. Visit Caldera Lab for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code MINDPUMP at checkout for 20% off your first order of their best products ** April Promotion: MAPS Anywhere | MAPS HIIT 50% off! ** Code APRIL50 at checkout ** ‎The Wonder Weeks on the App Store Even toddlers care what others think 3 Day Mind Pump Personal Trainer Webinar Visit Hiya for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! ** Receive 50% off your first order ** Mind Pump #2180: Is Powerlifting Beneficial For Women? Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources People Mentioned Peter Attia (@peterattiamd) Instagram

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mind pump with your hosts, Sal DeStefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. You just found the most downloaded fitness, health, and entertainment podcast. This is Mind Pumper. In today's episode, we answered live callers questions. People called in, we got to help them out on air, but this was after a 60 minute intro portion We talked about current events Fitness family life and much more you could check the show notes for timestamps if you want to skip around your favorite part

Also, if you want to get on an episode like this and where we can help you out on air Email lot live at mind pump media comm send them your question Maybe you'll get on now this episode is brought to you by some sponsors. The first one is NASM. This is the world's premier certification course for trainers and coaches. And if you go through our link, NASMPT.com,

you can get the CPT premium for the price of the self study. That's 35% off. Go check it out. By the way, you can pay monthly on that. This episode's also brought to you by Caldera Lab. They make skincare products that are natural and have been shown in studies to improve the appearance

of the skin of over 90% of the participants in the study. Stuff really works. Again, it's all natural. Go check them out. Go to calderalab.com forward slash mind pump. Use the code mind pump, get 20% off your first order. Also, this month's program sale Maps Anywhere is half off and Maps Hit also half off. Both 50% off. You can find them both at mapsfitnessproducts.com but you have to use

the code April 50 for that discount. Alright, here comes the show. If you want to be unhealthy mentally, spiritually, and especially physically, follow the world. The world moves in an unhealthy direction. Everything the world tells you to be sedentary, distracted, to be alarmed, tells you not to meditate or pray or learn. Just consume, consume, consume. Don't listen to the world. One of the best things you could do if you wanna be healthy. One of my favorite quotes. Shut up, Mother Earth.

Wow. That's not what I meant. The majority is not always right. Sometimes the majority just means all the fools are on the same side. Yeah, I like that quote. No, I mean, if you think about it, right, the world serves the about it, right, the world serves,

you know, the human desire mostly. And we desire to distract ourselves. We desire to be sedentary, to not have any challenge. We desire to stay in the same place as comfortably as we possibly can. And so following this, you know, this way, you find terrible health, not just physical health, but mental health. And there's even spiritual health crisis where people are losing a sense of meaning. You see depression, anxiety continue to rise, even though we have more stuff, more food, more shelter than ever before.

And then health, obviously physical health, I don't have to make that argument. And it's literally, and mean, this is a hundred percent, if you want to be healthy and all those things, you got to be different than almost everybody you know. You have to literally not buy the things, consume the things, watch the things, do the things that everybody else does, or that's exactly what you

want to know. You got to advocate for yourself. It's crazy. Yeah, you really have to look, it's so nuts to see like how, you know, growing up you It's so nuts to see how growing up, you listen to a lot of these institutions and a lot of these recommendations and standards, and then you get older and more mature,

and you look into it further, and you're like, wait, this wasn't helping me at all. In fact, it's the opposite of what I should be doing. Totally. It's frustrating. Isn't that saying that we probably all share it in common? I mean, obviously well before any of us knew each other, I know I was like this,

I'm pretty sure both of you were like this too. When you grew up, like I was totally not the kid who was trying to fit in with a certain group or do what everybody else did. Like I liked the fact that I was different, you know? Now what I try and, so it's hard to remember where that came out of. Sometimes I think it probably came out of necessity

and survival because I bounced around so much. I didn't have. So you just embraced that you were always the outside. Yeah, yeah. So I think there was probably a moment or a moment in time where I might have been challenged with it, but quickly realized that that wasn't going to change. I wasn't overnight going to become the rich kid who had all the in clothes or whatever

like that. I moved around enough towns that in some cities and some towns, I was the ethnic kid and then other ones I was the white kid. And so it was like, I didn't fit in a specific demographic or group and so I so I think quickly I realized like Jesus I don't even want to try and fit into these because I don't naturally go into anything and so I embraced this being unique and different and definitely served me into adulthood You could have gone the opposite direction right like trying so hard to be accepted right? I I didn't move at all. I and I couldn't have lived more, in

many ways, not always, but many ways more different lives. I lived in the same house mostly for most of my life. My parents still live there, so very consistent. But I definitely, I felt different. I wasn't stimulated by the same conversations. I saw what kids are into. And some of it I was, some of it I wasn't. And I just kind of felt, I don't stimulated by the same conversations. Um, I saw what kids were into and some of it, I was, some of it I wasn't. And I just kind of felt, I don't know, like I wanted to learn other things and I really didn't care too much what other, uh, kids were into. I would be into something and I'd go for it.

I wasn't embarrassed about it. Um, to a fault, sometimes I think I go against the grain because I hate so much to go with the grain. Yeah. I was such a nonconformist man. I don't know why. Just, it's just one of those things. Like I just didn't relate at all to a lot of people I grew up with and my family even.

It was just like, I just was into way different things. And then it's like, you know, is there something wrong with me? And like, you start kind of going down that, you know, negative path. And then you start realizing, you know, well, I'm just different. I'm different than, than everybody else around me. And that's fine. And then I started leaning into that more as I grew up later and found like a few people kind of like me, but it was like, it was weird. It was like, I just always felt like, man, I'm out of place here. I'm out of place here. And didn't travel or move a lot It was just like it's just one of those things everybody kind of had the same Sort of think and I just wasn't there with it has to be a quality that

Like connected all of us We didn't know that yeah, we're very different. We came all had very different backgrounds But we all are I mean to a fault. I'm a non-conformist, too. Oh, I know there's big times, right? I really want to do something else everybody else is doing it too. There's been times where I really wanna do something because everybody else is doing it now. I'm like fuck, I can't do it. I kinda hate that I'm a rebel. I have to be that way, you know what I'm saying?

It's like I really wanna go. I told Katrina this just the other night, we were talking about like, I can wear a uniform, I swear. I told her, I was telling her, I was like, you know, I really wanna get into Jitsu. She's like, well then why don't you do it? Everybody does it.

Because I'm like, everybody's doing it, that's why. Exactly. She's like, you're so funny. I'm like, well that's a problem for me. You know what I'm saying? Because everybody's doing it, I don't want to do it. I could totally relate. No, I, I, you know, I was like that. For me, the first time I ever felt like I like, Oh,

this is where I'm supposed to be was when I started working in the gym, but it wasn't the gym where I felt like I belonged. I love the gym. I always like working out, work out my own. I don't, it doesn't matter where I work out my garage, my backyard at a gym. I enjoy it cause it's my thing, but it wasn't the gym that I felt like I belonged. It doesn't matter where I work out. My garage, my backyard, at a gym, I enjoy it because it's my thing. But it wasn't the gym that I felt like I belonged. It was the atmosphere and very quickly I was put in a leadership position and I just enjoyed doing that. I enjoyed working with people, feeling motivated, learning, teaching, growing. I met a lot of growth-minded mentors during that period. It was a great period for anybody who ever worked

for 24 hour fitness in the late 90s, early 2000s, you guys did. It was a great, like super growth minded time. It wasn't always good stuff that I learned, but everybody was always trying to like be better. So that was the first time I really felt like, oh, this is a place I belong. Well, one of the things that is,

one of the few positive things I have found in the Bay area is it's such a melting pot and you have so many different types, like so many of cultures and races and religions and people are things that people are into dynamic and interesting. Yes. Did you guys learn? You know how much I learned from my clients? It's, I feel like I got several degrees just from

learning from the clients that I'm learning. Oh yeah, I mean, how families operate, how people work towards business and their goals, how different cultures value different things. Like, I really appreciate, that was one of my favorite parts of being a trainer was I felt like I got fast. I almost felt like I got to be a world traveler without ever leaving my city in a sense, right?

Because we got to train so many different people from so many different parts of the world with so many different backgrounds. I felt like it gave me, even though I didn't travel and go there, and I know some people that are big into traveling will be like, oh, it's not the same as getting your feet on the ground and being there.

I get it. But at least I felt like I got a piece of that. Yeah, but you developed close relationships with different people, which has got its own value. Sure, exactly. Because these are people you train. I mean, one of the things that's valuable about this and you know what's interesting now that we're talking about this, this probably feeds into that attitude that

all of us have about not immediately going along with the crowd and obviously being skeptical is you train so many different people and in order to be successful, by the way, you create an intimate relationship with your clients or close relationship because you see them week in and week out for years. If you do a good job, you see somebody for two hours a week, undivided attention for five, six, seven. I had clients that I had for 12 years.

Like you get really close to these people and some of them are old. Some of them are young. Some of them work in a desk job. There's some people that are blue collar, different cultures. And in order to be effective, you have to really accept all these different things and work with them and move with them and communicate with them and learn from them. And I think that that perspective gives you so much, you get such a broad view of things that I think it's almost

like a lie detector with the world. Well,, I know people who don't do that. They go this way, or they believe this thing, and it works out for them. Yeah, you learn a lot with all these different characters that you've come across, especially with the clients I've trained, and just the way that people think differently, the way that they communicate differently, with body language, all these types of things.

Because you're always observing as a trainer too. Like you're trying to look at like, uh, what's their energy coming in? Like, can I see whether or not they're in a certain mood is, you know, are they affected by work or like some kind of relationship? Like you can read a lot from people before they even speak an utter word. And so that was just something that I started to kind of, you know, really observe and lean into a bit more. And it was cool because you could get so much variety, especially like we were at 24 hour fitness. It was like just a nonstop sort of factory conveyor belt of clients that you're just like, Oh my God, I gotta like, break this down and analyze it and do my detect, put my detective hat on and figure out how to help this person. It's such a beautiful and fruitful, uh, you know, career choice. And I know we, a lot of times discourage people from going that direction because of how hard it can be as far as making a lot of money, right?

It's not creating a career or supporting. Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a hard job. The hours, uh, are unique because you tend to have to work around client schedules, which is early in the morning, later in the evening, or after work hours for most people. Yeah, so most successful trainers are working two shifts twice a day, four and four. Yeah, and probably six days a week

because you have three on three, right? You have the three day split type of deal. So it's normally a six day a week. It's normally eight, 10 hours with these four or five hour blocks that are divided in the middle of the day. So it's a really can be, to be very successful at it. Right. And even then you're not going to get rich probably

wearing those, but the, it is incredibly rewarding for all the things that we're talking about. And we don't highlight that a lot, right? We talk a lot about the challenges and difficulties, but I tell you what, I wouldn't do anything different. I'd go back and do it the same way difficulties, but I tell you what, I wouldn't do anything different. I'd go back and do it the same way again, like even going through that. I might've made pivots sooner.

I definitely think that I got caught in that paradox I talked about before when you're comfortable. So for about four years, I was comfortable in a position where I should have, I wish I had a mentor, an older, wiser person telling me like and for those that are listening like this to Me is it was when it's time to move on from whatever career You're doing is when you stop growing and learning within the ecosystem that you're in when you can honestly go. I'm not really Growing more as an individual and what I did is I took that on as my own responsibility to go read and so that's what that's I know exactly what that feeling feels like.

You know what it starts to feel like to me? I stop wanting to show up. Yeah. I just stop feeling like. Your service quality, everything kind of diminishes. Yeah, it's a terrible feeling. Well, what it was for me, and I had a really, later on, I had a harder time reconciling this

because the way I justified it during the process was I knew I could give 75%, and I'm not sharing this, pat myself or ego booster or anything like that, but I knew I could give 75% of my profession and it was better than everybody else that had my peers. But that's like I'm robbing myself. You're like on autopilot though.

Yeah, it was like, oh yeah, I can give this job half ass, and I'm still out competing my peers, not growing. And I stayed in that place for almost four years. Four years of my life, I was probably stuck there. And again, justified that because I was still having some success. I liked being in the gym. I attached it to all these things

that we're talking about, like, oh, I still love my clients. And I was getting stuff from them, but really from a business perspective, I wasn't growing anymore and I probably should have moved on. But that being said, I would have never done anything different as far as like working in a big box gym

and being a trainer and cutting my teeth that way. No, if you have a passion for people and you like fitness, then it's very rewarding. If you don't have a passion for people and you like fitness, then it's very rewarding. If you don't have a passion for people, this job sucks because you're working. I mean, I can pull it off. I, well, I, that's what I'm saying. You quit because even if you're blessed with 40 hours of, you know, 40 sessions a week as a trainer.

Okay. So you like, you don't have to worry about getting clients, which you won't get if you don't like people. But let's just say somebody gave you 40 sessions a week. That's 40 hours in front of somebody that you're working with. You're not at a desk. You can't just walk away from your computer and get some water. You're with somebody that whole time.

If you don't have a passion for people, you will be exhausted. It will not feel invigorating. Now, if you have a passion for people, then it's invigorating. I mean, I'd be tired and a client would come in and we'd have a conversation or ask them things or see what's going on and learn things from them. I used to love, that's why I used to love training older people. I would ask them all kinds of life advice and they would sit there and just tell me like so many interesting things about their lives. Oh, so cool. I mean, I didn't know we were going to go this direction in the conversation, but I

just recently had a conversation yesterday with the RVP of 24 hour fitness. And you know, we've been in, in, in consistent conversation about our coaching program. And it's just, I was sharing with him, like, I mean, it's so cool that this year that we partnered with NASM and now here we are in conversations with 24 hour fitness. I'm like, how cool would that be to be able to kind of complete that full like, that'd be weird. And as Sam, I think of like, was like, ours was probably the schooling for us when we were coming up. And I think of our parents as 24 hour fitness, you know what I'm saying? Like, so, so, so to kind of to partner up with them, as a company, you know, almost 10 years later for us, I think is so cool.

I mean, it's so cool that we're already partnered with NASM and I just posted that. Like we obviously we've mentioned it cause we started the commercials for them a couple of weeks ago, but I just recently posted the, you know, the official NASM is partnered with 24 hour fitness. I mean, with a mind pump and getting all kinds of people like, oh my God, that's so crazy. And it's just like, it's, it is crazy when you think about how was the first like legit sir. I had the first one. Actually the first

sort I had was the 24 fitness or they had the one. I tell you guys that that was my first one. I had that too. I did a weekend and got that one. Yeah. And then I did any of Sam and that's where I really, so from you and I, it was a full week course. By the time Justin came through, it was a weekend course. And then eventually they got rid of all of it completely. And by the way, one of the things we were talking with him, this is one of the challenges we're having. So that was done by Apex, right?

It's funny you bring that up because when we were having this conversation, him and I, he really sees as us being the Apex for them like Apex was back in the day. So he goes, because they were a great farm system for them, like the apex was back in the days. He goes, because they were a great farm system for them, for good trainers. That's one of the things that are challenges right now. When they hit through COVID, they cut 60% of their workforce. So 60% of it, and they had about 4,500 trainers working for the company. So you're talking about like 2,000 trainers left.

And they're struggling to get talented, good trainers working for them. And so their hopes, I think of potentially doing something with us is that we provide a farm system for them, much like what APAC did. Listen, the problem is, the problem is very clear. If you are, if you're passionate, uh, about people, you like fitness and you're growth minded, okay. I could take you and with a hundred percent certainty, unless you're like super lazy, you got terrible, you got some drug habit or

something weird, if you have those things and you're willing to kind of work, I could make you successful, a hundred percent. I know you guys feel the same way. The problem and why that's not the case with people that become trainers who love people, passion about people, love fitness and are growth minded. The problem is nobody teaches them how to do that.

They don't really, nobody really coaches and learn, you know, and mentors them on how to do this. This is why you see such a huge difference between when you see good clubs with good fitness managers versus comparable clubs with not great fitness managers, the difference in the training staff and the training staff revenue and how many clients get trainers is dramatic. It's like massive, the difference.

It's because they just don't get the training. It's all about the training. Yeah, there was an old saying at the club that there was no such thing as bad clubs, only bad leaders. And they've proved that many times where they took a club where, I mean, I remember when there was times when they were going to shut a club down because it was underperforming.

They put the right manager in there. And they put the right, they put the right leader in there. And then all of a sudden it breaks records. And so that's a perfect example of like how a club, literally this was, I remember when they did this with Larry Evans, I remember when I took over the Capitol McKee location, I followed somebody else at Hillsdale, same thing. And it was like, they were underperforming the, the, a different person comes in. And then it not only rebounds, but then it sets records from that.

I mean, that's a huge example of like, it wasn't the club that was underperforming. It's the culture that was developed in it. And it is a top-down thing. The gyms have a culture for sure. You can, you can feel it when you walk in, there's a for sure culture. And that has a big impact on the club's success, both with how many people they sign up and then how many members show up and want to work out and want to be there.

It's about the culture. I think a lot of people think it's about the equipment, uh, but it really isn't. I've worked in some clubs, man. One of the, I managed, I managed, uh, you know, Sunnyvale before they remodeled whatever, man, that club was old. I mean, we had weights that didn't match and when it rained, the ceiling would collapse and the pool would be broken after.

Green pool. Yeah, but you know, yeah, but it was one of the original clubs that had racquetball, you know, like Capital was one. And, but we, you know. What number was it? It's 506. 506, yeah, Capital was 504.

Capital's 505. 505, yeah, so Hillsdale, Capital, yep, those are the first ones that they put together. By the way, with the NASM, they're offering our listeners a discount on their certs. So the all-inclusive, I believe the all-inclusive is, I wanna say 1249, or the premium self-study, sorry, it's 1249, they'll get it for 899.

And they're offering discounts with their CPT's so across the board. So whether you get the self-study, the premium or the inclusive. They also offer on all their stuff, which they didn't do this in the past, which this is the coolest part about, or at least what I think is one of the coolest things,

is they offer monthly payment plans on it. Yeah. They didn't do that back in the day. They didn't do that back in the day. Yeah, you had to come up with the costs upfront and when you're trying to build your business, spending thousands of dollars on certifications sometimes is as much as you want them, you're like,

oh God, I'm not even making that much money. Do you have to still pay for the retest? I know that was another thing. If you fail. If you fail. I'm sure you do. Yeah, I'm sure if you fail, you still got, I don't know what it was.

We can find out. Yeah, what it is. But no, I think that's, uh, it's incredible what they're, what they're doing with the things that they're offering for free now in addition and the things that they're complimenting all the certification courses with is trying to take over the. Well, I'm curious to see if there's like any kind, cause I know there's been a influx of people interested after COVID and everything else of getting into the

health space of like actually being interested in, in becoming a trainer through a corporate gym versus now going into like a smaller box or like, you know, online. It'd be interesting to see like the motivation of somebody coming in. We obviously recommend, you know, going through the corporate gym route because it's the proving grounds. It's the face-to-face, it's the hands-on. Yeah, and they'll give you tons of marketing, you have tons of opportunities at the gym, way more leads.

Makes no sense to start as a personal trainer in a small studio. Yeah, but you don't know that. Unless you have great mentors. Unless you have a strong entrepreneurial background before getting into personal training. Sure, sure, sure. Because that's a bit of a business acumen to understand that.

Yeah, that's true. To know that marketing and advertising, lead generation, repetition, all those things are a major factor in the success and the scaling rate of any business. If you don't really understand that, like a lot of trainers that are just really dipping their toes in entrepreneurship, you don't realize it. They go by like, oh, I like this gym, or it's close to my home, or it has the equipment that I like, or I like the other five trainers

that work here in this private studio or whatever, and they don't realize that is not a big part of your business at all. A big part of your business is just access to leads, and you're just not gonna get that many leads like you are in a big box gym that's getting 2,000 plus workouts a day. You're not gonna get the practice of your craft.

Yeah, so I still recommend them. When you do the self study, the self, what is that, the self study premium? Is that what that one is? Yes, self study premium. Then you can get an exam retest. Oh, okay, that's cool. Oh wow, that's cool. I didn't do that before.

The one thing I don't know about that I wanna know about, and I see it on the thing, because Doug's got it up on the screen right now, is that the job guarantee. They have a 90 day job guarantee. You get a refund of a certain amount, is what it is. We'll see if we can find out what that amount is. It's not the total, but within 90 days of you

getting a job, there's a job guarantee amount that they refund you, is what I believe. Yeah, it's not clear what the but within 90 days, if you don't get a job, there's a job guarantee amount that they refund you is what I believe. So you'll get some, some sort of. Send that to Katrina so she can get those exact details. Cause I find that really interesting that they, I mean, that's a, that's a big deal to build. It's pretty bold. Yeah.

Which they'll also highlights probably the success rate of trainers that go through an NACP. Yeah, totally. You know, don't have a hard time getting a job. All right, you know what else is a big deal? What? You look, how much weight you lose, dude? What are you down?

Adam walked in today. Tread lightly, dude. You look like a fashion, like a... Easy, dude. My wife said to me last night that I was, she said lean but she didn't say it in a complimented way Oh, no mid sex dude. It was totally ruined them. No Yeah, was this all for the fury shoot that we have to do It's 40. It's 40 Adam

Sex bro, my wife. I don't know what she's doing. Yeah, I almost shut it down right there. Why would you say that to me right now? Right in the throws of this right now. And you're going to say this afterwards in a non-common way. Because she even followed up with like, I don't know if I like it or not. Wow. Oh my god. And then I find myself, I'm like defending myself in the middle of sex. Like, hey, I'm flat right now. I haven't got any car behind me.

Yeah. You're all flexing extra. Like, you're not helping this situation right now at all. I'm trying to embrace this, like getting leaner and small, getting smaller and kind of shrinking down and seeing how my body feels. Oh my God, that's hilarious. Aside from the, I also, you know,

this isn't all from the trisepatite because I also caught my son's flu bug. Yeah, that's right. And so I have for the last three days. You had the poopies. Yeah, the things. The last three days I've had. Medical term. I've had the stomach flu a bit and just real mild,

like I didn't get hit like as bad as he did, but I've had it. But interesting to be right in the middle of doing this trisepatide while also getting a stomach flu is like, I have like. You don't want to eat nothing. Nothing, I have no desire for food at all. So yeah, no, I'm down 10 pounds right now.

Not a lot of that's probably water weight. Yeah, you're no, I'm down 10 pounds right now. Not a lot of that's probably water weight. Yeah, you probably could probably pass that as three. Well, I'd put three, I'd put three pounds right on on a full day of eating right away. Like so, you know, I'm probably, I'm probably down though, a solid seven pounds. I would, if I had to guesstimate in the last two and a half weeks or so that we've been running the trisepatite. And so, and still really fascinating what's going on with it. And I feel, aside from the flu bug, I feel really good. Like I'm gonna keep going and just allowing it to unfold. I was, you know, Doug was bringing up a point of like,

oh man, that's probably not good, you're that low. I said, you know, but I don't want, the thing that's gonna be most challenging is to not let my wife get in my head, not let my, my, my, my knowledge, Adam's really insecure. My knowledge around macros and what I need to have certain amount of muscle,

my body, all your food. I really want to go through this process. Like I was a client who's kind of unaware a bit, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm trying to be really like, I love it and just let it go. I love it. And then express my feelings through it. That way. You have a real good opinion. Yeah, because I definitely know how to go through this

and manipulate it, accelerate it one way, or mitigate. And then you don't know if it's doing everything. Yeah, then mitigate the muscle loss because I'm stuffing myself with protein at night. Like I don't wanna do that. Like I'm gonna eat when I'm hungry. I'm gonna really try and go off of how I, the interesting part is the urges for junk food at all

have just not been there. How was your, are you working out? Well you haven't, cause you've been- Not the last three days, but I was before that. So my- I'm interested to see how your performance is. You're gonna have to wait though, till you feel too better.

Yeah, I'm a bit weak right now. I mean, I know I'm weak. Like I lifted, I squatted the other day and it was more challenging than usual. But I mean, that's calorie deficit for two weeks. You know what I'm saying? I mean, this might feed right into your basketball goals. Justin, secretly, that's my goal. Secretly, I'm like, I'm going to go with it and lean into it. Part of leaning into it was like, hey, if I keep getting leaner and leaner and

smaller and smaller. If you're light and you're bouncy, you know, that's less likely to get injured. And so then I'm, so that's kind of the idea is like, I'm going to, which is also, I didn't want to talk too much about it because then everybody who's asking, where do you play? I don't play anywhere right now. No, no. When, if you do, if you start we should start league, bro. Like, so that's actually a really, that's actually a really funny, interesting question. No, there's like, we've talked about this before about, do you do this?

Definitely Old Man League. I talked about this a long time ago. Remember when I was bodybuilding? You have to wear New Balance. I used to tell you guys that there is, and maybe this is angry, but you're like this. There's gym memberships. Part of why I keep all of them is because

where I'm at in my lifting career, I'm going to certain ones. Yeah, bodybuilder gym, steam room gym. Just being starting again, you know where I'm at in my lifting career, I'm going to certain ones. Bodybuilder gym, steam room gym. Just being starting again, you know what I'm saying? Like feeling myself in gym, you know what I'm saying? So I had different gyms. Just the Smith machine. I have different times to play basketball

at different locations based off of where I'm at in my basketball game too. Like if I'm like gonna go play my first pickup game, I'm going during the week around 10 o'clock in the morning to 24 fitness on Cottle. Like that's when all the 40 plus dads, they can play, you know what I'm saying? But it's not the, it's not the medical. Yeah. Then as I, as I get better, I'll show up on, you know, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights after all the kids are out of school.

And now I get some of the high school, college kids that are playing like gang this level. Then Saturday mornings at the super sport is like now you're getting like kids that are playing. Oh yeah, they're still playing ball right now. And I better have made friends and connections on the way up to that because I won't even get in a game. You know, yeah.

I'm gonna get picked up. I'll look like Billy Hoyle. I'll walk in. They'll be like, who the fuck's that guy? No one's going to pick him. Hopefully, some guy get a headband. That's how, like, that's how crazy it is and competitive it can get even in these gyms is if you don't have your five and you roll up on a Saturday morning

when the whole place is packed to people, you're going to get cold. Well, you'll sit and watch four hours of basketball and never play. Exactly. You're gonna get cold. Well, you'll sit and watch four hours of basketball and never play. Exactly, you sit there tooling your thumbs. So there's no way to get a turn in or something? Oh yeah, no, you won't get picked up. Oh, that's hilarious.

Yeah, you won't get picked up. What'll happen if you're like, hey, I get a turn. Oh, people just love it. They don't even do the shoes? They'll tell you, they're like, hey, go play out Tuesday mornings, bro. This is for, hey, you better have a squad or you better have a squad or you better you better

have a reputation if you want to get picked up on Saturday mornings and so. Well I got a mediocre spot for you at the high school up where I'm at so I'll pull you in on that game. Yeah you'll have to tell me like you'd be fine in this. Yeah dude. Yeah so I like to start there now the the the problem with that though the danger it is the the less like I can't start it at such a low level that you have just a bunch of like park kids playing. Cause then you get injured. Cause then kids just do stupid. Aggressive.

Yeah, kids that don't play the game right, that are just out there running around. Just strutting the hell out of you. Yeah, and that's how you get hurt. That's how I tore my ACL, someone falling on my knees. It's like, that was just like a stupid other person doing it to me, right? So yeah, there's definitely definitely a place where I'll play

at a certain level of my game, when my game gets to a certain place, then I can graduate. Speaking of bouncy, we built a trampoline in the backyard, like a legit one. Justin came over, got to you. Did I tell you guys when I tried it? Did I tell you guys about this?

Did I tell you what that was like? Bro, I jumped on it a couple times, oh shit! It got down, bro! I wish I had a video of you jumping on a trampoline, dude. My wife was there, like, oh, I jumped on it, called it, oh shit, I got down bro. I was like, hey, hey, my wife was there, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry you saw that, honey. Oh man, oh man. Sorry babe. Not my proudest moment.

I gotta go do something sexy real quick to reverse this. I'm gonna go deadlift right now. You wanna watch me deadlift real quick? Oh no. Yeah, I wish I would've seen that. Oh, I'm terrible. Like a little like a scream. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, I'm getting high, seen that. Oh, terrible. Like a little, like a scream.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, I'm getting high. Oh, wait. I feel like I can see you like flapping his, flapping his arms. Immediate pucker, dude. I don't scream though.

I don't scream though. Oh, no. If I scream. Like a hummingbird. You imagine? I feel like it's really accurate, dude. No, no. I feel like that.

No, no. No, no scream. There was no weird scream. Wow. Oh, that's terrible. But I'm having a little bit of a fitness, like, what do we call it? Crisis right now. Oh, there was no weird screen. Wow, oh that's terrible. But I, it's, you know, I'm having a little bit of a fitness like, what do we call it, crisis right now. Oh God.

Yeah, no, so I've been, you know, I'm really, actually maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but I feel like I am right now. So we'll see, don't hold me to this, but I'm really trying to like, okay, we talked to so many people live, we help all these people who have a dysfunctional relationship with exercise and supplements and all that stuff,

and I'm like, you know, I should probably visit my relationship with this stuff, you know? So this week, doing my normal workout schedule and we have family coming because we're, you know, Easter, you know, we've got the holiday coming up or whatever. And Jessica's like, hey, do you, would you mind working out, you know, in the garage on this day instead of going to the gym? And I'm like, no, I love the gym or whatever. And then I pause. I'm like, maybe I should take the rest of the week off. Maybe I should just not at all

work out for the rest of the week. And so I told her, I said, you know, this is a good opportunity for me to challenge myself because I never, never miss workouts. I mean, I worked out this morning and I literally got a grand total of probably four hours of sleep last night because my daughter You totally would not tell your client to do that. No, so

So I'm gonna take the rest of the week off and then when I get back into it, I'm gonna try To revisit how I don't know if I make you sweat thinking about that. It's very anxious right now Yeah, I don't know if I want you I don't know if I want you to fix this dysfunction right now. I know. I don't think that's the case. We need one mania. Yeah, yeah. That's going to put a lot of pressure on Justin. Yeah, yeah. Once you know. You're getting back to breaking.

Come on, man. If I turn into a skinny basketball guy, you start losing all your gains. You know what I'm saying? Justin's going to have to really step the fuck up. No. I'm feeling good right now. I'm not trying to.

Because the only thing that was OK with me losing the bodybuilder look was everyone was like, oh, well, Sal's fucking jacked right now. At least one of them knows what they're doing. Doug and Justin, it's up to you guys. You know? No. I love when we get comments from people who don't know anything about us.

I know. Who the fuck are these guys? They don't even look like they work out. Oh my God. Average schmoes. That's so me. Yeah. Everybody's so me.

You get, though, why so many of these insecure fitness people have to do videos with their shirt off all the time just so they can see. Look at my muscles. Jeez, I have them. You guys got muscles. It's bad, dude. it's a bad space. Speaking of me, like I told you guys, I didn't get any sleep last night.

Man, I had one of those moments where I was just, I was angry with my, she's only, you know, she's what, 16 months old, would not sleep, I don't understand. Not sick, nothing wrong with her. You know, I'm like, maybe she's sick, what's it, no, no nothing, just not sleep. I think she's going through one of those leaps where they're learning a lot

because she just started walking. And so I think it's like a leap that's going on because the brain is forming all these new connections. Did you pull up the app? I felt that always helped Katrina and I. I'm gonna find it. Yeah, it always helped Katrina and I when we had those moments.

Because it always connected. Yeah, and it calms you down. It does. Because there's that part of the parent. It's out of your control, yeah. Where you're just like. She's totally fine right now. Yeah, you're like this makes no sense. We did this our routines normal This is that like what you see like, okay

So last night she's not sleeping all night, you know on and off finally Jessica's like I'm gonna have her stay in bed With us so she takes her in bed, but she's not sleeping So she's like pushing up against her mom the whole time about 3 a.m. And I'm not sleeping I'm in and out but I'm not really sleeping well this whole time, right? Finally, you know Jessica's she asked me very nicely can you please you know try putting her down because I just I'm so tired whatever and I'm like this is one of those moments you reflect and like what a dick I'm like I got up just kind of angry because I'm already I'm mad like we're not sleeping and I take the baby and I put her in her bed and I walk away and she starts screaming again right and so Jessica's like what are you doing'm like, she's gonna cry for a little bit.

So of course Jessica gets a baby and her and I get a little mini argument about it. She goes downstairs and I was left alone to reflect, and I'm like, fuck, man, I just got mad at a baby. I just got mad at a baby. And my daughter, and I just let my frustration take over. My wife sincerely needed help and she asked me nicely. It wasn't like she did anything mean to me.

So I'm like apologizing. But good moment for us to connect because that could have turned into something much bigger, you know, type of deal. Did you guys do the 10 minute cry method? That's what we used. That worked really well for us. Did you guys do that?

I know there's a million different ways that everybody swears by. So that worked really good for us. You know, we did something else. So Aurelius was really tough. We did something else with him. I know there's a million different ways that everybody swears by. Yeah, so. But that worked really good for us. We did something else. So, Aurelius was really tough. We did something else with him. But one of the people that we worked with, and we really liked where she got her data

science and also made logical sense. She said, what you don't want is a child. A child needs to be secure. So calling out to you and crying and that you show up and you're there helps them build security. It doesn't baby them. It doesn't make them, you know, some people say babies your kid or whatever. And I believe that evolutionarily. It would make no sense for a baby in the middle of night in the savanna to scream and mom leave the dinner bell basically going off for all the lines or whatever. So that makes sense. So the process that we did was more like you give them the security, but you slowly separate yourself.

So, you know, at first you, you put the baby down and then you pat them on the back or rub their back, you sing to them. And then if they, as they start to calm down, you take your hand off. If they start up again, you do that. You rub their back and then eventually you're just sitting by the bed and you sing to them when they cry and then eventually you're outside the door. But when they cry, you pop your head back in or you sing from outside the door and then eventually you sing into the monitor and then you don't do it at all. That's similar to what we

did. Okay oh cool. Yeah yeah it's similar like so very similar I would put Max down and I'd leave my hand there for a while and then I'd step away and I'd sit in his rocker and then if he would see you yeah so he knew I was in there and then I let him fuss for a little bit say lay down it's time for bed. Learn to soothe themselves. So yeah so he knew I was there but and then I let him fuss for a little bit and say, lay down, it's time for bed. But learn to soothe themselves. So yeah, so he knew I was there, but I wouldn't just go to him. But they were also developing this co-regulating skill. I wouldn't go there and pick him up every time so I wasn't being trained that I get him every time he cries.

And so then I would slowly do that. And then eventually the final break is the 10 minute thing where it's like, once we get out of the room, it was, we would never let him cry for 10 minutes. So if it was, we let him go up to nine minutes and 59 seconds and then if it was at that, we'd come in and then restart it all over again and soothe. And what I found is like, we never really went past 10. I think maybe less than a handful of times we had to deal with it past 10.

I tell you what though, to people who don't have kids, or people who've had kids who never dealt with this, because there are all those parents out there, Oh, my kids slept at ours right out the gates. Like, you know, go screw yourself. It's my friend. It's an angel. But if you're, if you're a parent and you have the average kid, like that is, it is so challenging. There's nothing like it. Nothing will test your patience or your sanity, like constant poor sleep. The hardest I think Sal is when, cause I never had a problem with, like when was the last we just had something

with Max being off. If his behavior is off and you know, whether it's crying, not going to sleep or something like that and I was inconsistent in something of the day, I don't have a problem with it, like I own that. Like we, I take that like, it's just like, god damn it. It's my fault. My fault, right?

Where it's difficult is when you've been consistent and then it's out of nowhere and you're like, you can't connect the dots to like, how could I have been a better parent, right? What could I have done better here? Yeah, one of the worst things is just having expectations where you have plans and then you throw out the window because kid won't go to sleep.

Like last night, we had two nights of bad sleep previous because of my three year old. So leading into this, we're like, let's start it early. We'll set the candles, no TV. We'll tell quiet stories. Get ahead of it. Yeah, we'll tell quiet stories. Jessica's like, oh, I had the kids outside all day today.

They're totally gonna go down. Lots of sun, you know. She's like, oh, let's watch that series that Adam and Justin were telling you about, the octopus one or whatever. Oh my, and we're like excited, you know, like this is gonna be, and we get to go to bed early if we do this right.

That definitely is, cause you got your guys' hopes all up. Oh, hopes were up, we're gonna connect and hang out together and boom, out the window, dude, until three a.m., oh, it's November. So yeah, when that happens. That definitely makes it worse. Oh, especially too if she did all those things. Cause that used to be like the, the solid recipe. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like for us, it was like, man,

if we get him outside in that sun and playing all day, like it was pretty set, we're going to get him down pretty easy, but that sucks if you do all the right things. Yeah. That's to me, that's where it's hard. Like I don't don't mind, or at least I never mind when, it's part of raising a kid, is they're gonna be difficult sometimes. Especially if you're driving, or traveling, or throws them off.

Yeah, for example, I remember what it was, there was something that we just, Katrina and I both, I love that she does this too. Max was, I'm sitting at the, it was time for dinner, and we were letting him play on his iPad. We get, he was sick, so we gave him more of it that day. We tend to loosen up the rules and boundaries on him when he's not feeling well.

Like we're a little more loose with like this, the stuff that we hold him. So we allowed him to play more than what he would normally get. And it was time to eat. And I called him over to the table and he had his iPad with him. I said, no, no, no, no, not your iPad,

you just come here with daddy. And he looked at me and he was all sad and he just started crying. And instead of us getting frustrated and mad about it, Katrina apologized to him. Oh, I'm sorry, son, I let you play too much today. And it was like, and that, and like, so instead of getting frustrated at him

because now he's throwing a fit because he doesn't get to do that, it's like, well, as his parents allowed outside of that, we know what that does. We know that if he plays more in about 20, 30 minutes on that thing, like in a day, like he's attached to it. You know how powerful that is, to apologize to your kid, by the way,

when you really genuinely mean it, to show them like, like that teaches your kid. I remember, I think my mom apologized to me once, I don't think my dad ever did, but I know my mom did one time and I remember it because it was so impactful. Bro, it's so dope that I've seen him before because she's done that consistently

when he has a behavior that is a result of us not doing good parenting that he, I'm sorry, I had too much iPad. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, so you're, I'm sorry, I didn't do good sleep last night. He's like apologizing for, and because we've been consistent with that. Dude, you know what this reminds me of?

That I read a while ago, and we did it with my three-year-old. So when a kid has a, let's say a scary experience or a tough experience, especially when they're young, you can retell the story and make it a funny or remember that thing that happened and change the perspective. So I'll tell you what happened, right? So we were playing with the kids and Jessica was giving our three-year-old, she had like this, I don't know what it was, it was like a biscuit

with peanut butter and he was gonna bite it. So he goes to bite it and bites her finger hard, like really hard. And she screams, ah, scares the crap out of him. He starts crying, scares the baby, she starts crying. Then she's holding her finger, it hurts really bad. Then she's holding both of them to try and calm them down. And eventually we got him calm and it was okay,

but it scared the kids, right? So later, wait a couple of couple days I'm like hey hey remember remember when you thought mama's finger was a cookie and I start laughing and he starts laughing and Jessica starts laughing oh my god that was so funny and then he's like mama's finger got hurt and I go oh poor mama but it wasn't a biscuit and we start laughing like you change the story and then when they look back on it it's got a completely different perspective. I thought that was so brilliant. It is. It also is shows it also highlights how the negative side of that in families where you normalize bad behavior, right?

Oh, it could go bad. You know the other way, right? That's what happens when you grow up in a household where there's violence or abuse or lots of fighting and all this craziness. And it's so consistent and normalized that that's just how things are that we don't even overreact to it anymore. That kid ends up being an adult who then is attracted to a relationship like that because they interpret that. Yeah, it goes both ways.

So that's very powerful. I mean, it's great to be able to pick that up and see that and to reverse engineer basically that for the good what you did. But this is a thing that I'm always, I always think about as parents. Like there, I mean, we're, we are 100% laying the foundation to how they view the world and communication and interpret everything, man. And so to ever think that how, I mean, Katrina and I even

believe that where our emotional state is around him affects him. Like our energy. You know why? So that's a fact. So children, they actually, data on this, children are so attuned to their parents' emotions and moods because that is the person that helps regulate. It's like the pilot on an airplane or the the flight attendant. If

the plane's rocking and you look at a flight attendant they look chill, okay we're fine. You see the flight attendant freak out then you start to freak out. Yeah. And not only that, so kids are super attuned to how mom and dad are acting or whatever. So when your kid starts to act up and you think it's out of nowhere, oftentimes it's because of you. I've noticed that about me. I mean like, oh, it's probably my most of the times. I think it's almost always. I mean, to me, Katrina and I, we've trained ourselves that when it's like that, like- You ever notice when you're in a good mood,

they're in a good mood? Yeah. When you're in a bad mood, they're in a bad mood. When we nest it, instantly it's like, okay, self-reflect, like, okay. That's what I mean, when you have a situation like you have where you can't connect it to you, that's where I'm frustrated.

If I can connect it to me, I can grow, I can learn. Oh, you know what? That's what I get. I brought work can connect it to me, I can grow, I can learn. Oh, you know what? That's what I get. I brought work home, Katrina, the baby heard me being frustrated about something that was going on in the business, had nothing to do with him, wasn't even in the same room, but he felt my energy, therefore it changed his mood, and so it's like,

okay, I gotta be aware of that. But when things don't, or when things don't line up with anything, that's where it's tough. It's still a lesson, I still learn a lesson, which is like, be more compassionate. Jeez. I'm so mad, you know? You get mad at your kid and your wife.

I can diffuse so much more effectively when I can not allow it to get me frustrated and get me emotionally invested in whatever's going on. Because I mean, it happens so regularly. They'll be just getting ready in the morning or something, and one of the kids is just on one it happens like so regularly. They'll be like just getting ready in the morning or something, and like one of the kids is just like on one. You know, just like, ah. And you know, and I could sense it,

because then like either Courtney or me will kind of get the brunt of it. And then, you know, if we don't react, then we don't allow that to kind of end OK. And then, you know, I can usually diffuse. I can make a joke. I could kind of, I could kinda come in and change the sort of narrative and reframe it a bit

and it works and it's just like, okay, now they're out of it but it's like if I can't do that, it's like a bad day. There's this type of, I don't like the title of it, and in fact, I'm gonna find an expert to come on our show to talk about, but it's called, and I don't like the way they labeled. And in fact, I'm going to find an expert to come on our show to talk about, but it's called, and I don't like the way they label it because it's misleading. It's called gentle parenting. I don't know if you guys have heard this, but the gist of it, and I'm not an

expert in any way, like I said, I want to have someone on, but the gist of it is that you understand what is developmentally appropriate behavior. So like a two-year-old who throws their food on the floor, that's impulsive and they haven't yet learned the skills on how to control impulse. A 12-year-old throws food on the floor, like okay, this is a different conversation. But that's kind of what it's based on

and understanding that oftentimes when kids act a particular way that isn't maybe desirable, that there's a need that isn't met. As a parent, it's your job to figure out, okay, what's the need that's not being met? Why is my kid at, is it more time with me? Is it because they're under slept? They need more sleep? Is it because maybe something happened earlier and they don't feel like they can, nobody's

talked to them about it? So it's this really interesting way of looking at raising kids. I think it's absolutely brilliant. But the title of it makes it sound like there's no structure, no boundaries. It's not that at all. It's got very good structure. I'd be interested to read or at least talk to somebody about it. Yeah, I found somebody that's really good that have come on the show. I'm really struggling with the, and I was just sharing before we got on the podcast with you guys, just how my son is so in tune with emotion and because of all

this, this, this great stuff that we've done and all this positive stuff. And then you see the other side of that where he's just so sensitive. Like they did this egg thing today, right? For hunting for eggs and they line all the kids up and they have all these eggs out there and they, you know, they get them all ready. All today, right, for hunting for eggs. And they line all the kids up, and they have all these eggs out there, and they get them all ready, all right, ready, go! And a lot of these kids are faster, bigger than my son, and so they all take off in front of him,

and he only takes about four or five steps, and then he puts his hand over his face, and he just starts crying, and he's just like, they're gonna get all the eggs! And the teacher set it up to where every kid can only get 12 eggs, so my kids can- That's the problem that I see because the natural Lesson there if there is a lesson is oh, I didn't move fast enough

I didn't get as many eggs then you was dad all you got to do is show up and be compassionate That's how I that sucks, buddy. I'm sorry You don't have to say anything he'll figure it out like I gotta be faster next time Yeah, but they give all the kids the same so they make them race But everybody gets eggs and eggs. Well, and also you get to see kind of which kids shine in that moment in terms of like, if it's the kid that like gets all of them and then he looks and he sees like, you know, somebody that's having a really hard time will like offer eggs to them or something.

You're not allowing these kids to self-regulate. That's how I would have liked it. That's how I like it. It was, I think where they failed as the school is by, like you said, they turned it into a competition, but then it's not really a competition because then you let everybody get 12. So you don't get the lesson. All you get is the hard without the learning. So it's like, why do that instead?

Why don't just let it be a free for all and then let's see how the kids regulate and then teach through that process. Like we did like hunting with eggs last year with Max and Max was actually the older kid with little kids and that situation does fine because he's grabbing kids, and in that situation he was fine, because he's grabbing them quicker than them, and then he did exactly what you said,

like he had all of them and the little kid was having, and so he takes some of his eggs out. And he's giving the other kid some of his, you know what I'm saying? So he's got those incredible qualities, but man, when he's the underdog, and everybody blasts past him and stuff like that, like he doesn't have that drive.

That makes me so upset, because what they did is they took the hard part of competition and they left it, but they didn't include the part where you grow. So it's like, why strive? You ever hear that experiment where the professor tells all the students, I'm gonna take the top grade and I'm going to average it with the worst grade and everybody's gonna get their grade.

It was something like that. And eventually everybody just started getting an F because why strive if it's gonna go down here? It killed the motivation. Yeah, so why have kids compete if there's nothing at the end where you can sit down with them and say, oh, I'm sorry that didn't work for you because that's a really good lesson.

Hey, that sucks, I'm sorry about that. And they'll figure it out like, ah, I'm sorry that didn't work for you, because that's a really good lesson. Hey, that sucks, you know, I'm sorry about that. And they'll figure it out, like, ah, maybe I gotta be faster. There's the other part of me too that I, so I mean, I told you guys that, you know, after talking to the teachers and everything like that, that he, his, emotionally, he's still young for his class, right, so he's already young for his class age-wise,

and emotionally he's younger than a lot of kids, and so they've recommended that we hold him back one more year. And so there's that part of me as a dad of trying to also be patient. Like, you know, maybe this will be different in a year when he's more developed and he's more confident in these, maybe some of these.

How old is he right now? He's four. You know, there's a big difference between a four and a five year old. Right. Huge difference. Right, and so I understand that. I mean, I didn't even go to school until I was five. My son's been in school three, having to learn all this stuff

and do all these things. So I have to recognize, too, that, OK, what happens when it's next year? Maybe he's more of the confident kid, and maybe he's more aggressive then at that point. So I'm trying to balance that. You know, oh, I want him to be more aggressive and be less sensitive about something like that.

I mean, hey, tough shit, kid. You get no eggs. You know what I'm saying? You got to be faster next time. Like, there's that part of that dad in me that wants about something like that I mean hey tough shit kid you get no eggs you know I'm saying gotta be faster next time like there's that part of that data me that wants to be like that right because that there's a good lesson there you know I'm saying that's fucking life when you get older as adult there's not 12 eggs for everybody it's like it's not how it works and if they promise everybody the same amount of eggs yeah get the hell out that we want to be right so yeah so you know I have this

push-pull feeling it's very good that probably his mom was there to handle it, because she probably handled it better than I would have handled something like that, because that part of me, I just, that hurts my heart inside. Of all the things I tell you that I want my son to be able to overcome adversity and have thick skin to be tough, and confident, those are the attributes that I want to pass on to him.

And I know that I got a lot of mine from the unfortunate shit that I went through. So it's like, you know, and he's not getting none of that. I wonder where you'd be if you had like a good, like a really like good, like non traumatizing child. Like what if you would be like, I don't know, like Elon, like, you know, who knows where you, maybe in spite of all that, that's where you're at.

Cause that's a tough situation to come out the way that you did. Yeah. A lot of people would have done that. that's where you're at. Because that's a tough situation to come out the way that you did. Not a lot of people would have done that. Yeah, I don't know. You know, I think it's because of that. I think you would have been done well no matter what. I wonder if you'd been wired, yeah, to seek out adversity anyways.

You know, it's one of those things, like you wonder genetics, like the coding in there. You know, because there's some kids like that that are in a really privileged, like beneficial environment, grew up great, but are just like so incredibly driven and just are killers. I've got that young kid, JT, I'll tell you about. He's my hope, right?

Like when I hear his dad's story, it reminds me of my story. Self-made guy. He grew up well. Yeah. And so, but he grew up extremely privileged, very, very privileged. But he would never think he's a privileged kid because he's got incredible work ethic, he's incredibly successful, he's very self-aware, he's smart, I mean, he's a 20-something year old kid

hanging out with a bunch of 40 year olds, and I would say he's one of the most emotionally mature ones that of all of us in the group. You know it's interesting, you know that they, okay, so this is connected, trust me, you know you could clone, I think we talked about this, you can clone your dog. So if your dog dies.

And they say some of the genetic traits are in it. They say some of them are the same, but they say they're not the same dog. So they'll say, oh, you think you're gonna get the exact same dog, but you don't. No, because some of the behaviors. Yeah, because the environment's different. Remember I told you that.

I mean, I know that from nature and nurture. I watched nature. I watched how I, when I had my two bulldogs, how I really, my poor, my first one Bentley, the older, bigger one, the bigger, stronger one, I was so hard on him with the puppy Mazzy because he was a puppy and he was little and he was smaller and that I would like, I would get him, I'd whack him if he would ever attack him or wrestle aggressively with him. I didn't let nature kind of take its course and let him defend themselves and stuff like

that. I intervened so much that when they got to a teenage years, he was afraid to defend himself because- And then he just always remained that way. Oh yeah, and so then the other, the younger little one would attack them all the time and punk them and just like treat them. And it was like, I know I created that.

Like that wasn't genetically in that dog. Like that's definitely environmental that like I created that for that. So that's no different than kids. Like if you, so there's something, there's a little bit of both. And I'm sure there's things to your point about like what I saw, like I was in sports, right? And I think if I was in a, in a, in an environment with a good father figure who helped me learn lessons through sports, other than like trying to figure it out myself, like I learned those lessons, but a lot of those are like later, like when I reflect, they go like, Oh yeah, I learned how to work with others and Oh yeah, I wasn't the most

talented. So I had to put in the extra work. Wasn't like I was doing it because I had a dad who was just like, Hey son, they're, they're more athletic and gives you, if you want to beat them out, you need to do these things. I had to figure that out. And then looking back, like maybe if I had like a household, like you're saying, and I played things like sports,

because I know like when my son gets in sports, I can't wait to, I hope he does. Part of why I hope he does, not just because I want to vicariously live through them, but also because I think it's a really easy tool to teach some of these lessons. That's a great way to do it. It's such a great, I mean, you have to.

You're all there. Yes. It's the world that's put in a game. Yes, leadership in there, their cooperation, winning, losing. How to follow properly, how to lead. And all of it. Yes, leadership in there, their cooperation, winning, losing. Yes, like controlling emotion, being disciplined. Yeah, no, there's so many lessons within sports. And of course, the kid might naturally learn some of it,

but imagine having a good parent who knows how to see that stuff and coach through it. Along those lines, I've had now several people tell me this who are either um, you know, either psych, psychologists, therapists, or who we consider expert on, you know, raising children. And they say that if you're the kind of parent that thinks about and actively looks for ways to be a better parent, you already are among the top 10% of parents. So if you're that kind of mom or dad that like reads about it, thinks about it,

how can it be a better whatever, you're already killing it. Because most people don't even think. The bar is pretty low I guess. There's two sides to that. You know what most people do is they just default to how they were raised. They don't question anything. No you're right. That's the truth. The truth is. That's really what was modeled is what they repeat. Yeah I mean I've been saying that for a while now that I, I mean, I told Katrina that when we first got together, that I, I want to be a generational character in my family, which is also why I waited for a while to have my son, I wanted to be more prepared to be that person, to shift, to shift that

completely, cause I don't want, I don't want to pass down, I don't want to inherit any of a lot of the traits in our, in our family tree. I don't want to pass any of them down. Like I want to break all that stuff. And so a lot of that comes with just emotional maturity and being wiser and more experienced. So that was part of waiting as long as I did. It's the hardest job, dude.

Hardest job in the world. Anyway, I got to tell you guys that we work with Caldera and it's got to be one of the more interesting questions or compliments that I often, I've had now several people talk about my skin, specifically, and I recommend Caldera. Nobody's ever said anything to me about my skin before. Until, you know, maybe it's because I'm older.

I wonder if it's because I'm older and they expect my skin to look a little bit. It's probably the hair color, like, because I've had that before, you know? I think they're just like surprised. You got a nice skin for a 60 year old. You have like wrinkles and like, you're doing pretty well. I'm like, oh, because I've had that before. You know? I think they're just like surprised. You got a nice gift for a 60-year-old. You don't have, like, wrinkles. And, like, you're doing pretty well.

I'm like, oh, thanks. It's also the brand in partnership that I get the most non-fitness friends and people connected to me that reach out. So I get a lot of people that either one have seen the commercial, even if they haven't seen the commercial, they've heard about the brand, or they know that it's connected to me somehow and they're curious about it.

They have nothing to do with fitness. They're not like into health at all, but they are very interested in looking younger and feeling younger type of deal. And so Caldera has been bolder. I think speaking to Caldera, I think that they do the best and this is, this is to all the other partners that are listening. They do the best with commercials and ads. Oh, cause they, they clip our show or clip what we say, put it in a great ad. Yeah. They're the best looking ones. It is.

I mean, and we, like, we're about to do this right now and we hang these mics up, we have to go and do a photo shoot for one of our other partners. And so that it's like, we love photo shoots. You guys, uh, no. It's our least favorite thing. It's the thing. Yeah, it's crazy. It's, and we've tried to deter, like telling people, no, you're going to pay us this much to do that. And they're like, okay. It's like, oh,. It's the thing. Yeah. It's crazy. And we've tried to deter like telling people,

no, you got to pay us this much to do that. And they're like, OK. It's like, oh, god. Yeah, no. All right. I'm fine. Try to get away from it. Now, what do you think it is?

Do you think? I feel like I hate it's because I hate it's the least authentic. Yes, it feels fake. It's the least authentic. Even though it's not. You feel like the guy with the protein shaker cup like, ah. It just appeared right here weird. You know?

I can't do it without making fun of myself. Well, this is why I like Caldera so much because what they do is they do a really good job of cutting these natural commercials and stuff that where we talk about them in there. And that's very authentic. This is an authentic conversation. I had no idea that's what you're going to say or how you're going to say it. And so that it comes off that way. And like, I mean, every one of us, or at least I know you and I are wearing Viori pants and clothes, like just having that on and wearing that, that's all authentic and normal for me.

But then if I had to go out and go pose, you know, wearing them, you know what I'm saying? To me that's just like. Like drinking your soda. I don't know, there's this, to me it's always been interesting because there's like, I've hung around models. Obviously I do a lot of the shoots for our MAPS programs and for a lot of these things.

And even before that, I was interested in maybe going the actor route and all that, but I just couldn't do it because everybody's so weird. It takes a certain kind of personality to really like, hey, look at me. Well, maybe part of why we don't like it is we suck at it. I mean, that's the real. That's the real, that's the real, you know what I'm saying? Maybe, maybe if we were really good at it, we'd be embracing a little bit more.

It's it will be like, we suck. It's what it is. Doesn't come natural to anyone of us. I like to think we're just too good at beating ourselves. Well, it's not something else. That's what I like. I like the positive spirit. I like Adam's, but yeah, you might be right to. Well, you know what it reminds me of.

So you guys, I don't know. I mean, I think I've talked to you guys about this before. I was so resistant to, uh, practice posing for men's physique. And you got, there's like, there's a, there's a routine. You gotta do a routine. That's making me laugh. How stiff, bro. Now that I know you as well as I do, at first I didn't know you super well. It makes perfect sense. But knowing you as well as I know now, I was like, how did you get through that?

Bro, you know how funny this was? I actually, for most of my prep, getting ready for my very first show, I had the attitude that I was, I'm gonna smoke these fools in my physique so much, I don't even have to pose. That's gonna walk around. Yeah, let's go walk up there.

I'm just gonna do this and then I'm out. That was literally my plan. My plan was like, I'm just gonna pose. Like that's gonna walk around. Yeah, I was gonna walk up, I was gonna do this and then I'm out. That was literally my plan. My plan was like, I'm just gonna smoke. You're just gonna walk around standing there. Yeah, I was gonna smoke everybody physique-wise so bad. You like who you see, you like it? Yeah, yeah, then I don't even have a routine, I don't even know what I'm doing up there, you know what I'm saying?

And the truth is though, like, and so there was a lot of people in the crowd that like booed, it was a big deal because I did literally show up my very first show and smoked everybody like leanness wise and everything and I didn't I only placed fourth and it was because my posing was terrible when I look back at the pictures and the photos like when you're supposed to do your old lat spread and show your back like my shit was all you know look terrible I'm saying sure my physique look great but like if you can't present it very well it's awkward awkward, doesn't do well to present.

So I totally, it reminds me of that. Like, and the truth was I sucked at it. And so I had to practice a little bit out of it. Never did I like it, never did I get good at it, but. Now that I know you as well as I do, I was like, oh my God, you signed up for that. That's so cool. I hate, that was just like.

It was all to start a business. It was, it was all. And that makes sense, knowing you as well as I do. Addable pose. You literally made it. It's for a business. It was. I know. And that makes sense, knowing you as well as I do. That'll pose. You will literally be. It's for a business, you know? Makes sense. I loved it.

I was like, yeah, you do that. All right, today's shout out is mindpumptrainercourse.com. This is a three day free course that we run and we teach trainers how to sell bigger packages, how to present personal training, how to forecast what you're gonna make for the month or the year. It's totally free.

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but also has the adequate nutrients that children need. It's not a high sugar candy, it's an actual multivitamin and your kids will like it. Go check them out. Go to highahealth.com forward slash mind pump and on that link you'll get 50% off your first order. All right, back to the show. Our first caller is Maggie from Colorado.

Hi Maggie. How are you doing? Good morning. This is so cool. I'm so nervous. So I just want to super quickly say thank you guys so much for all that you do. Just yeah, thank you. So my question, I am a textbook hard gainer. My maintenance is like over 3,500 and I'm 5'4". Like over 3500 and I'm five four like I'm little and um I've gained about 40 pounds over the course of four years so don't freak out but I used to be at 84 pounds um so that's been yeah but the thing is I still just look small like if people had to guess looking at me they'd guess I'm about 100 pounds. And I'll like, don't get mad,

but I'll compare myself to influencers or other women. And I just don't have that muscle fullness or like any feminine shape at all. And I just, I'm tired of getting mistaken for a 12 year old, you know? So like, why do I just still look so small, even if I eat and train and it feels like I'm doing everything right. And I just like, I look muscular, but I just look so small.

Well, Maggie, you're am I reading this correctly? You're only 18 right now. Yeah. And so I'm curious, it's like, I've heard the term muscle maturity. Like is that just, I just need to age five years? Yeah. I mean, well, you've come a long ways already, if you've already put on 30, 40 pounds in the few years and you're only 18 right now. So, um, no, you're, you're kicking ass. I think what we need to do is, uh, is, is, um,

have a different understanding of what's going on. I don't know many people, especially women who've gained 30 pounds of lean body mass over that period of time. I don't know very many young ladies that are not afraid to consume over 3000 calories and lift weights, or who have the confidence to say, I want to look like I have more muscle. Part of the problem, Maggie, is that you're kind of being a little hard on yourself.

You're not really being fair. And you are, you're breaking the cardinal rule. You're comparing yourself to a lot of really dysfunctional. Yeah. You're comparing yourself to the- Photoshop distorted images. Don't do that.

I mean, the best advice I could give an 18 year old like yourself is to literally shut off social media. Don't go on it or intentionally change the algorithm for pro personal growth posts, not posts that will either unintentionally or intentionally cause you to compare yourself to other people. Because what's happened, and I'm 100% I'm, I'm a hundred percent on this. I'm very, very confident with this.

You have a distorted view of what's going on. You are crushing it. And at your age, oh my God, I mean, and you're going to continue to develop a strong, healthy, mobile physique, cause you're just the kid. Like you haven't even come, you haven't even got to the point yet where things really start to accelerate. So my advice is have fun with this and don't be so hard on yourself. Yeah.

I don't think we need to change anything, but I am curious about what's your activity look like? Do you do sports or something? What are you doing to have to consume that much? Literally nothing. And it's all your guys' fault. Since I started listening to you, I used to do two hours on the Stairmaster every day and I was eating like 2000 calories and stuff. But now I just lift and get my

steps in and sprint a couple of times a week and that's it. So it's probably genetic a little bit. But yeah. You're kicking ass. Are you following one of our programs? No, I can't decide which one to follow. Like I think anabolic, but I love like the body building type,

like, like body parts split. So I don't know. I don't know which one to pick. Do anabolic first and then you can do split afterwards. Are you, well, here's another, I mean, another option is, would you be interested in just seeing how strong you can get with the big three? I've been thinking about power lifting, but I just don't know if I can build like

aesthetic muscle doing that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You want to, yeah, you're talking about, you want to get, build muscle and look, you know, bigger or more muscular, but like, especially at your age, like get strong. Nothing will do that better than getting strong, literally. Like maybe, maybe 10 years from now, you can, you know, bigger or more muscular, like especially at your age, like get strong. Nothing will do that better than getting strong, literally.

Like maybe 10 years from now, you can, you know, getting stronger at some point. You haven't even come, you haven't even hit your limit as to what you can do in some of those big lifts. Do you know what your lifts look, what are your lifts like right now? Do you know what you squat, deadlift, bench press, any of that stuff?

I have never benched, I get too scared to. And my deadlift is like almost 200 and my squat is 135. So I definitely have a lot of room to grow. Yeah, Maggie, following power lift, you're gonna blow your mind with the development. Yes, you're gonna get, you're gonna see some serious gains by just getting stronger in those lifts. And I think that's the best program for you right now.

I really do. I think you'll fall in love with getting stronger. And then you're going to get the side effect results that you're looking for just through getting stronger at this point of your career of training, I should say, like that's what you want to focus on. By the way, I don't know very many people that can gain 30 pounds of lean body mass in that period of time. That's phenomenal.

Maggie, I'm going to have Doug put you in the private forum too because I'd love as you're, since you're going through power lift the first time and you don't seem confident in bench, like if you go through an exercise video and post it in there and then we can critique it. So we can go, we can help you guide you through the process. So I'll have Doug put you in there, let's do power lift now.

And then we can talk about split or aesthetic or something like that afterwards I can't wait to see what you do with those lifts Yeah, you're gonna blow it's gonna blow your mind But once you get going get it get a video up on there so we can see your lifts and then help guide you through it Awesome. Thank you so much. You got it. All right. Thanks for calling in. Yeah, good job I have a tough time believing that she doesn't look like I have a tough time believing that she doesn't look like she totally lifts weight. There's no way. I know she's 30 pounds of lean body mass.

Eating 3000 calories, 120 to 125 at five four. She probably, you know, I know she has a distorted view. I bet you she's in the gym working out and other people are like, Oh my God, look at that. I do. Especially people that know her really well. There is a thing too, to be said. Um, I do think that, uh, men notice it more experience it more as far as like the muscle maturity and then

like the difference of like the, the male body at 18 versus like 26. Like, I don't know about you. You remember like, I mean, I looked completely different, even lifting weights and muscular as a 18, 19 year old boy, the 30 year old version. I think it has more to do, because there's a lot of speculation around that. It probably has more to do with the thinning of this. Like all the things that people don't want as they get older, I think is what contributes to that grainy, what they would call muscle mature look.

Now the truth is in real life, you know, that it just looks more hardcore, I would say. You could probably accomplish that by getting shredded, but I mean, she's comparing herself in ways that are not benefiting her. You know, her height, her weight, her strength, what she's eating, what she's doing. Do you know any 18-year-old young ladies that have done that? No, if she was a client and these were our results,

I'd be highlighting her as like the perfect example of what I want my clients to be able to do. Right. Like she's not doing any cardio either. Like, so she's literally, she does a couple of sprints, it said a couple times a week and then the rest is just straight strength training. She came from eating 2000 calories and 80, 90 pounds is now eating 3,500. And I mean, come on. Yeah. I mean, you, she'll be, I think she'll be, be able to pull, like she said, she deadlifts in low 200, I bet that'll get up to the mid twos. And it sounds like she hasn't put a lot of energy in like really trying to get

strong in those lifts, right? Like she doesn't even bench press. Especially at that age, like the thing that will develop your physique the most. Cause at some point it changes because there's a limit, but at her age, just get strong, like if you're watching this and you're young and you're working out like the, the, what will point you in the direction in terms of getting closer to your progress faster is simply getting stronger. Nothing will do it more than that.

Our next caller is Katie from Wisconsin. Hi, Katie. How can we help you? Hi. Hello, hello. Excellent. Thank you guys so much for being willing to answer my question. I'm pretty new to your guys' programs.

I went through a MAPS starter, and I'm now doing anabolic. I'm about three weeks in. And I've got some questions about the trigger sessions and how I can customize those for what I'm looking to work on. Ideally, I'd like to work on some core strength as well as neck strength. Interesting. Let's talk about the next strength for a second. What that's, that's not something somebody typically tries to train or work on

except for maybe the grapplers or wrestlers that I've worked with. Do you have neck pain? Is there something that we're trying to correct? Helmets or yeah. I do. I wear a helmet for work. And so I get a lot of neck pain if I'm having to wear it regularly while I'm at work. Wow. Interesting. Okay. So for neck strengthening specific movements,

I'm going to send you Maps Prime Pro unless you already have it. Do you have Prime Pro? Yep. I do have prime pro. I want you to do the neck movements in there cars to work on neck mobility and strengthening. Uh, I don't want you to do any, um, straight up, uh, straight, no, neck building exercises until you get really good. You know, here's what happens with neck strengthening. And this happened to me, uh, back in the day is you want to strengthen the neck, but you don't want to move to the end ranges of motion that the spine allows.

Very delicate dance. Yes. Because then you can cause a lot of problems. You see a lot of football players and wrestlers later on in life developing issues, and some of them are because of the neck exercises that we did. I think with the mobility from Prime Pro coupled with anabolic shrugs, it should probably do a lot for her as far as support. Yeah.

So, uh, with the trigger sessions, I mean, the question is how do you put those together? There's a couple of things that happen from trigger sessions. One is this kind of localized effect, localized, meaning like the target muscle that you're getting a little pump in, but really mostly it's this kind of systemic effect that is enhancing what happened during those foundational workouts. Okay. So ideally now you can pick specific trigger sessions and say, Oh, I'm just

going to do two or three core exercises. Um, and that'll be my trigger sessions. You can do that. But in my experience, people tend to get better results when they do like one core exercise and then maybe two or three other exercises that generally works the entire body moves the other tire body so you might do like a core exercise a pressing movement and a rowing movement or something like that or like a lunge a

Core exercise and a rowing movement or something like that. And remember the trigger sessions are supposed to be low intensity. You're just getting blood to pump into the muscles. You're not looking for a workout. You might get a little bit of a burn during them, but really you're just, you just want them to move. You just want to move and contract the muscles a couple of times a day. I mean, it's, it's not a bad idea though, with the anabolic protocol is literally just add one or two core exercises to her trigger days. Like it's not a bad idea though with the anabolic protocol is literally just add one

or two core exercises to her trigger days. Like it's not a trigger. Like I wouldn't, I would still do band, you know, curls and flies and all the normal trigger session movements. And then just, you could do an active plank, an active plank and some like, so you could ease those trigger days are low enough volume of training. Like we wouldn't encourage somebody to do like a full body, yeah, full body workout or bench presses or squats and with that, but doing some core exercises on those days, I think is totally fine.

But just don't overdo it. You don't need to, you don't have, uh, you haven't been doing a lot of that already. So just add one core exercise or two core exercises to those trigger days before you do your trigger sessions and then that makes now your 20 minutes of exercises. I think that's perfect. There's totally fine. And then the next program, I think performance, you're going to get a lot of good core strengthening exercises built into the routine. So look forward to that afterwards. Since I see that you're now an anabolic,

once you move out of that, move into performance, and then you're really gonna ramp up like the core strengthening stuff. I'm assuming you're relatively new to strength training because you started a map starter. I have had like a long break. So I was a three sport athlete in high school and a two sport athlete in college and graduated

and basically stopped doing everything and have had kids now and gotten into my career. And I'm just ready to get back into being more fit. Ooh, awesome. Yeah. How's your, how are you feeling? How are things, how are things responding? It's been amazing. I have not lost a pound yet, but my clothes fit better.

My uniform at work fits so much better. We get weighed at work regularly. So it's always been something on my mind, thinking about weight. And we talk a lot about it with employees, just because we're always trying to make sure that we're making our weights. And so it's just been really nice

to feel a lot better there. Yeah, so you built muscle and lost fat. Okay, I'm so curious lot better there. Yeah. So you built muscle. Okay. I'm so curious about the job. Yeah. Cause you wear a big helmet. You have to be a certain way. What's, what do you, what are you doing? Are you a race car driver? Yeah. Are you an astronaut stripper? What are you doing?

I'm a flight paramedic. So I work on a helicopter. Oh, wow. Cool. Very cool. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. So, so you're, what you're experiencing right now is like exactly how you want to

start, like you're getting leaner, you're building muscle, metabolism, speeding up. You're about to hit that snowball effect. So just stay patient and stay the course. You're doing great. And I'm assuming you're hitting your protein targets and all that as well. Yes, it's definitely been a new way of eating. Um, but it's getting easier as I go and doing lots of meal prepping and that. And it really does feel great. So awesome. Katie,

can we put you in our forum? I was just going to tell her. I would love to follow your progress. Yeah. Oh, I'd love that. Yeah, please. We'll put you in the forum and then, you know, give us some periodic updates. Yeah. Yeah. Update us about once a month, letting us know how everything's going. I love that you have the right mindset right now that you have the perfect mindset for what you're doing. So I'm excited to see how it pans out. And what sports did you play by the way, in college? Uh, I played football, hockey and did track.

And then in college I played hockey as well as track. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to, you're going to, you got the genetics behind it too. You're going to respond really well. I can't wait to see. Awesome. Thank you guys so much. You got it.'re gonna, you got the genetics behind it too. You're going to respond really well. I can't wait to see. Awesome. Thank you guys so much.

You got it. We'll see you in the forum. Okay. Thanks. Yeah, dude. I was like, hell man. And you weigh yourself. Yeah, that's kind of weird.

I couldn't think of my head. I'm like, what do you do? Yeah, that's so interesting. What a great, uh, you know, attitude, like especially consider. She sounds she says she just recently has found us right? So she hasn't been listening for a very long time one of the biggest challenges is When you're in that perfect sweet spot is not getting in your own way totally you know the fact that she Was happy that the scale is not moving right most people are like oh, I want I need to see the scale though down I want to see the scale go down

But she's like, I'm- Well, even being an ex athlete and not jumping into our most advanced program, I give her kudos for kind of realizing, like, I spent a long time, I'm going to go back into starter, she's like being very methodical about it. I think, you know, the neck training question is always one that's like a little tricky, because, you know, and I remember that as, you know, when I was playing

football, it's like, how do we train the neck neck and it was such a fine line and really it's like isometric training is about as far as you need to go you don't really need to load but for her just to go through some of that controlled articulation and rotation with her neck very controlled is gonna help a lot. Oh I 100% messed up my neck doing the crazy Russian bridges, touching my nose, our, our high school had one of the like old school ones where you like vice grip your head. Oh, we had that in the chain with the, we did all that. That's actually better than what I did, bro. We did. I did the

old school, like I'd come up in a bridge. So feet in my head and I rolled back to my nose, touch the floor. And then I'd walk around partner, hold our chin, you know, as you're pushing down as hard as possible and then like they yank your head back. So now my rotation is like, that's it. I look like I was limited. Now I look like Batman. Next caller is Rochelle from Colorado.

Hi Rochelle. Hi. How can we help you? Hello. Oh, hi guys. I tell ya, I've been listening to you guys for about six months and my heart is pounding. I know they say that all the time when people get on, but it's a real deal. It's a real deal.

That's how handsome Doug is. Hey guys, how are you? We're good. How are you? How are you doing? Good. Good. Thanks for having me on.

Thanks for answering my question, I hope. You got it. All right. What can we do? Well, as my subject line said, I'm you got it. What can we do? Well, as my subject line said, I'm a seasoned lady. That means I'm not old. That means I'm 55. And I've been listening to you guys in my opinion, you are voices of reason because there's a crazy

place out there that just is called YouTube and the internet. And it gives you a whole bunch of information. So I think you guys are my rudder right now and I need you. So, I don't know if I give you a lot of background, but I want to give you a little bit because I think it plays in how you're going to talk to me, but first and foremost, six months ago, I heard you guys, I also listened to Dr. Lyons and I read a book by Dr. Peter and Tara about, you know, outlive. I'm going to slaughter the name of his book, but outlive the science of aging and it really hit my heart about how I've been living my life. I've been living my life and my life is been about the aesthetics of being thin and watching a scale engaging my life off of what the number says. I've never lifted weights except for

starting six months ago. I love the outdoors. However, I'm in a battle with my body in my opinion. What I mean by that is I don't have any women parts anymore. Those have been gone for about four years. So I do take hormones, both estrogen and testosterone. And with that being said, I've been trying for that balance. I chose to eat carnivore starting about two and a half years ago. And it helped me manage my sugar addiction, I'm going to say, because there was never a piece of bread or sweet treat that I would go pack. And I

couldn't just eat one. I love them. And so anyway, with that being said, I beat that way. But of course, I'm an extreme gal. I know my personality. I take something and run with it. And I do it to the hundredth degree. So I walk every day. Of course, that's turned into walking for a year straight, not skipping a day. I started the weightlifting and I was doing kettlebells with just a video. And then I found you guys and you were like, no, you really want to do a program. So I am doing maps 15. And with that, I'm now doing that maps 15 with my walk. And I'm on the last nine weeks of

that advanced. And then the final part of my back history is that through the carnivore and possibly intermittent fasting and eating once like once a day listening to my body when I'm hungry. I was probably under I know I was under so I messed with my metabolism I have but then I bulked up meaning like I did what you guys say I don't really know what the hell a bulk is but I I did it. Meaning I ate three meals a day. I, um, got my calories up and started looking at that a little bit, but I kind of am freaked out by that because I got rid of the scale. You guys are the only people in my entire life that have made me stop working.

Awesome. I'm still on the edge of it, But then I thought don't go crazy looking at what you're eating. Although I do check in with it and I go where's my protein, how many calories am I eating? And I would say average of 1900 to 2000. So the long and the short is here I am 55, six months doing somewhat weightlifting. I know I want to be strong. I want to focus my life. I am a woman and I will say I'm not weighing myself anymore, but my pants are tight and not on my thighs.

So I don't like that. but I understand I'm stronger. My arms, I know there's a muscle there. I can see it, but it's tight in my clothing. So I guess I'm reaching to you guys to say, how patient do I have to be? I'm not patient. Now that I'm finishing out maps 15. I'm not patient. Now that I'm finishing out MAPS 15, I know I'm stronger, but I feel like I'm a bear with a layer of fat in. Um, I want to just commit to one thing. I want to quiet the distractions in my head and on the internet. And I want to, I will be disciplined because that's who I am. But I want you guys to say, Rochelle, if you follow this, you are going to see results and like you guys guarantee it. And I promise you, I will follow you to the end of the year.

And be your mouthpiece for all the seasoned ladies that we're told. I like it. Thank you. That's our next program, seasoned. Seasoned. or tool. I like it. Thank you. Thank you. That's our next program. Season. Season. Season. So, Rachelle, here's what I want for you. And you let me know how this sounds, okay? I want for you to be able to move forward in a way that's healthy for you. That's going to give you strength, mobility, that's going to maintain a good

body composition, but I don't want it to maintain a good body composition. But I don't want it to be a stress or a struggle. And I don't want you to do it out of sheer will. I want, I would like for you to be in a mental space to where, and I don't know if you've ever felt this way, but I'd love for you to feel cool, confident, and calm as you move forward through this journey. That's what I'd want for you. What I don't want, because I think you've already done this, and I think that you probably struggle with this, is I don't want you to just follow something and

white knuckle it because you have the ability to just, oh, I'm just going to do what I'm supposed to do. I want you to do it. I want you to do it because you want to, and it's adding to the quality of your life, it is not a stress and want to, and it's adding to the quality of your life. It is not a stress and it feels good. I want it to feel good. I don't want this to feel stressful or challenging or like you're questioning

yourself or you don't have confidence in it. Now the way to accomplish that, it's going to be a bit of a process, but I do think working with a coach, with a good coach, is going to be your best bet. Because I can give you some advice right now, but you're going to encounter challenges and struggles with what I'm talking about. The mental aspect of it, how I feel. Oh my God, my clothes feel different. And, oh I haven't weighed myself, but I really want to. Or, okay, I'm just going to, I'm just going to do this because I'm going to force myself. I don't want you to feel tyrannized by yourself. I don't want you to feel forced. I want you to feel like you want to do this and it feels good and it's joyful, but it's going to be a bit of a process.

And I think a coach that works with you on a weekly basis is going to be your best bet. I really do. I want you to know that you, I don't think you're far off from this sweet spot where you need to be. I think that, I think you're doing a lot. I think you're putting a lot on you to Sal's point. I think that's, I think that's important. I think we can put you in the forum. I think we, there's incredible community and we're in there to help you through this process. But really it would be, it just needs to be less stressful. You can hear the pressure that you have on yourself of like, I need to do this and I need to perform and it needs to be like, it's like, this should be a very enjoyable process.

There's a lot of exciting things too. The fact that you're coming from never really lifting weights consistently until recently in your life, that's a really positive thing that coupled with you feeding the body properly, meaning giving yourself the nutrients your body needs, hitting your protein intake and strengthening, it's going to respond. And you're going to continually get better and better and scope. What will shoot yourself in the foot though, is stressing about it and doing too much, trying to get there faster.

So it's, it's a dance and I really, I mean, what I think, uh, maps and a ball is where I would want her training wise right now. I think she, do you have access to a gym or are you training from home? Training from home. Okay. And I mean, but if, but you know, my son was like, are you opposed? It's just a time thing, a convenience thing. I worked hard for my, what I do for a living in there's a window. It's early in the morning. That's when I get it.

What kind of equipment do you have access to Rochelle? So I had the adjustable dumbbells up to 50. I have a kettlebells up to I think 67 and then I have that TRX. I have that paradigm. I have bands. Yeah, you're good. You're good. I can send you map suspension so that after 15, if you want to follow something different

with the equipment that you have, you could follow that. Maps Anabolic does have a dumbbell only version. Um, you would need a bench. I don't know if you have a bench at home. I do have a bench. Okay. I do have a bench. So I could send you one of those.

I think either one of those will be great for you. Um, but I'd like to, you know, let me, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you, um, maybe what would be considered a bit of a personal question. Would you, is that, is that okay? Yes, of course. Would you say that you're really hard on yourself, that you judge yourself a bit harshly and that this is what in the past has driven you to

change and grow and, and do things? Oh, for sure. I would say I am, um, I'm resilient. I'm, I'm like tenaciously disciplined. Um, I really valued what you were saying. I do want this journey. I am seasoned. That means it is about enjoying life. I've raised those kids up. I get what you're saying. And I really value that that like I have to adjust this thought process because it's forever. It's like forever. I'm in that part of my life. I want to do this forever. But I will honestly say to you as a

woman, we know how to do it. And sometimes it is like I had said to my mom, she has a great figure, she's up there. But I what I mean by that is like sometimes the woman, you're like, Oh, skinny fat's fine because that aesthetics fits into what I'm doing. But I really mentally because I'm trying to do better for my life. They longer is better, stronger, healthier. Yes. Yes. stronger, healthier is better. So I'm trying, but I'm being really vulnerable with you guys to say as a woman aesthetically

and how I feel, I hate that it matters, but I'm being honest because women need to be honest with each other. I agree 100%, Rochelle. I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability. This is a process like the process of getting better at an exercise or getting stronger. It takes a while before it becomes automatic. So you have an inner voice or a way that you talk to yourself, a way that you, the way that you've driven growth in the past was through probably self criticism

or shame. And you can grow through that, but the problem is it robs you of the joy of feeling like this is something you voluntarily want to do. When it's done through shame, it's almost like it's done through being tyrannized, like, oh, I'm not good enough. Oh, I'm bad. Oh, you idiot. And so when you do grow that way, what you lose is the joy of the feeling of the, I chose

to do this and I want to do this and wow, look how far I've come. So you've actually robbed yourself of the quality of life that can come from growth. You still grow and change, but you're missing out on that. Now it's a process like exercise. So I want you to be careful here. It will not be an automatic. What you're saying right now is totally normal. This is gonna be a process of retraining yourself

and how you talk to yourself and the self talk that you might not even be aware of, the way that you judge yourself and okay, I know I feel this way and I know this is the right way. Let me try and it feels awkward at first. Okay, I wanna be strong. I wanna be healthy. I wanna be calm at first. Okay. I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be calm about this.

Um, but it will start to become automatic the more you practice it, but initially you're gonna have to practice it consciously, which is going to feel a bit. Awkward, uh, to say the least, but I really do think, and what we'll do here when we hang up here with shell is we have access to coaches that we really like. And when we're done here and we hang up, we'll discuss who we think might be a good fit for you and we'll send you their contact and you can see if it's a fit.

But I really think you would benefit from having a guide through this process. I think you'll move so much quicker by working with someone through this process. As far as what you're doing, you're doing the right stuff. It's just how you feel about it that we need to work on. At the bare minimum, I want you in the forum. So I'm gonna have Doug put you in the forum.

So I agree with Sal, if we can get you with a coach, it would be the perfect world. But if we, at the bare minimum, at least coming in and checking in with us in the private forum so we can continue to, and you know, we didn't touch on it. I saw in your notes, like you were doing things like 75 hard, like I want, I don't want you doing any of that type of stuff. I like literally follow the program. Walks are great, right? So I love the, I love walks and nature and I'm all for that.

So the walking is fine, coupled with the strain training, coupled with hitting your protein intake with the strain training, coupled with hitting your protein intake every day. Like those are the, those are the big rocks right there. Let's get strong. Let's walk. Let's follow the program the way it's laid out and let's make sure we hit our protein intake and then the rest will start to fall in place. And think of it this way. You're not forcing your body to change.

You're encouraging it. It's an encouragement. It is not forced. So anytime you work out or anytime you you're feeding yourself, you, and you might again, consciously do this. Ask yourself, am I forcing my body to do what I want or am I encouraging it and inviting it to do what I want? It's a very different energy and it will guide you in more

appropriate, healthy ways. If you don't, it'll rebel. Oh, you'll lose. Yeah. If you try and force it or push it or will it to where you want it to go it will rebel. Here's what will happen you'll be like those fitness influencers that we know that take pictures of themselves and they're miserable they're absolutely miserable the entire time so forcing it is a lose, lose battle. No, I love it. Two, three things. So the one part, like I,

I always think of Godwinks you're having a God week with me right now, which is because I believe in him and he brings the right people into my life. But you spoke of joy. I don't know if you saw on my email, but my true like salutation is like, go have a joy built day. In my world, the joy is God for me. Why do you just hit on it saying like, you're, you're not living it at 100%. But if I choose to really embrace that and think of the joy you can on it, so you have a God wake. So that was great. And then, um, Adam, with what you're saying about being in that form, I mean, I spoke to it a little bit, but I'm telling you as a gal that's

just trying to figure it out, you hear. Lift heavy shit. Don't lift, do hit, do this. So many things, but if, but with a forum, I don't know what that's like, meaning I don't really do social media, but I imagine that maybe it's a little bit more safety parameters in there. It's our people.

It's a, it's us. It's us. We're in there too. Yeah. I appreciate, I appreciate that. That kind of makes me breathe a little different, like, okay, okay. And then I do, I haven't really heard you guys say like, go get a coach to somebody else.

I'm like, what the hell? I think you guys are my coach. Like you're in my phone every morning. But if you're saying that I would benefit from that, then, you know, I'm going to listen to you. But I definitely, again, that just scares proud of me to be like, Oh, now go swim in that pool to go find the right person. Because, I mean, we'll introduce you.

We'll introduce you to somebody. We will. Yeah. And by the way, in the, what, one of the other things that's in that forum, besides just us and a great community are a ton of other trainers and coaches. Rochelle, there's a lot of other trainers and coaches that are in there that will help encourage and guide you through this process. Just the trade vulnerability, I believe exactly what you believe.

And that's the exact same journey I'm on right now with Shane. That's how I used to grow. And so, you know, when I'm talking to you, I'm talking to myself as well. I know how tough it could be, but it's possible for sure. Well, I really appreciate that. I really do. I don't know. I'm hopeful. Okay know. I'm hopeful.

Okay. So I'm hopeful. Um, I don't know what, if I do want to leave here with doing a program. So tell me what that next one is. If you think it's TRX or if you think it's dumbbells with the anabolic from there. I think anabolic. Yeah. Let's do maps anabolic.

Uh, follow the dumbbell only version. Okay. And so then that is awesome. Thank you guys. I do want to hit you guys with just this, that I will say, I'm looking at three good men. I listened to you. My time is really, uh, important to me. I don't have a lot of downtime, but I put you in my ears. You make me laugh. I do find that I'm seasoned. I'm older, but I've been down the road 39 years with my and I support you guys with what you're doing. We need good men in the world. Keep being that reflection. I'm telling you, you might be changing bodies, but I think you're changing the mind of a lot of people. And a lot of young, I say young, but men that need good men. So keep being that. Thank you. I want to just

encourage you. Nice compliment. Thank you so much, Rochelle. We'll see you in the form. Okay, see you in the form. Okay. Sounds great. Thanks, guys. I love her. Love her tough journey in the forum. Okay. Sounds great. Thanks guys. Wow. Love her. Love her. Tough journey.

Yeah. Tough journey, but, uh, with her attitude, I think, and we'll, we'll try and find a good coach for her. I think she'll be her biggest critic. She's doing the right things. Yeah. She just needs those conversations and that's where a coach I do think is the best, you know, fit for that to, to keep, keep

ping ponging these struggles and mentally, it's mental struggles that's really gonna cripple. 100%. The exciting part though is when you have somebody who has not lifted weights most of their life, if I can just get them excited about that, right? And that is gonna be- Just get used to that feeling. That's right.

And I know she kind of pointed out a little bit like, oh, you're here on the internet, just get strong, get strong. And, but it's the truth. Like that's just get into, you know, and approach the workouts with this, like, I want to get good at this movement. It's foreign to me. It's new. I've never done any of this stuff. And so I want to get good at it.

I want to practice it. And then through practice, I'm going to get more confident and through confidence, I'm going to get stronger from adding more weight and just focus that, uh, coupled with knowing that this is a journey and a process. And, and you, I think she's going to be very, very happy when she looks back from six months down the road of being consistent with this. Look, if you love the show, head over to mind pump free.com.

We have a lose fat guide. It's totally free. And it gives you all the information you need to help your body lose fat and not muscle. Also you can find us on social media Justin on Instagram at Mind Pump Justin. I'm on Instagram at Mind Pump DeStefano and Adam is on Instagram at Mind Pump Adam. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy, and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Super Bundle at mindpumpmedia.com. The RGB Super Bundle includes maps anabolic, maps performance, and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased expert exercise programming designed by Sal, Adam, and Justin to systematically

transform the way your body looks, feels, and performs. With detailed workout blueprints and over 200 videos, the RGB Super Bundle is like having Sal, Adam, and Justin as your own personal trainers, but at a fraction of the price. The RGB Super Bundle has a full 30-day money-back guarantee, and you can get it now plus other valuable free resources at mindpumpmedia.com. If you enjoy this show, please share the love by leaving us a 5-star rating and review on iTunes and by introducing MindPump to your friends and family. We thank you for your support and until next time, this is MindPump.