Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 2487: Overcoming Addiction With Brad Jensen

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Brad Jensen The origin of @thesoberbodybuilder. (1:39) Making amends to those he had harmed. (40:33) At what point did he start believing in himself? (43:34) The importance of his spiritual connection. (45:33) Filling a strong pull to share his story. (49:34) The missing link for most people is to overcome addiction. (53:00) Most people underestimate how much their spiritual health can affect their physical health. (56:15) How becoming sober has made him a better coach. (1:01:55) How his son has changed his life. (1:09:53) Speaking confidence into your kids. (1:14:26) Why sometimes the worst addictions are the ones that are not as destructive. (1:17:50) How you choose to respond is most important. (1:25:34) Related Links/Products Mentioned Visit Rock Recovery Center for the exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! ** Enter to win a 4-month, $60K scholarship!  All you have to do is complete the application to register for the scholarship.  Tom and Ben know what it takes to live a life of sobriety that is fruitful and everlasting.  You don’t want to miss this opportunity, so act fast! ** December Promotion: MAPS Aesthetic | MAPS Symmetry 50% off! ** Code DECEMBER50 at checkout ** Mind Pump #2392: Steps to Overcoming Addiction with Tom Conrad & Ben Bueno Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources Featured Guest/People Mentioned Brad Jensen (@thesoberbodybuilder) Instagram Ben Bueno (@realrecoverytalkben) Instagram Thomas Conrad (@realrecoverytalktom) Instagram Gary Vay-Ner-Chuk (@garyvee) Instagram Jordan Syatt (@syattfitness) Instagram  

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Meanwhile, look for new bonus episodes of Billionaire Murders at thestar.com or wherever you find your favorite podcasts. If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mind pump with your hosts, Sal DeStefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. You just found the most downloaded fitness, health, and entertainment podcast. This is mind pump. Today's episode is an incredible one. We have Brad Jensen on sharing his story of addiction and

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All right, here comes the show. Brad, welcome to the show. Thank you. Yeah, before we got started, we were just talking, five years ago was the last time you'd been out here. Yeah. It came out literally almost five years ago. Exactly.

It was September of 2019. Yeah. So I've gotten to know you during that time. So we've remained in contact. And I'd say Instagram friends is probably the best way to put it. We talk a lot on social media. Text about sports sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we've stayed in contact and always got along. We love your content that you put out. But I wanted to have you on the show because what I haven't done with you is I haven't talked about your story. And I like the information that you put out, but I really want to go back to the origin of the sober bodybuilder and like maybe take me back to the day before you decided to become sober. What did that look like for you and where were you at in your life at that time? That was a good setup. But thank you guys for having me on.

Literally, this has been a bucket with side them. So I checked it today. Thank you guys. Yeah, you guys were inspired me to start my show. I didn't even know other podcasts were out there other than mind pump, listening to Sal drink a bunch of weight gainer and like shit in his pants. I think that's what happened. I don't remember. I remember that like a locked out outside shit in the bush.

Episode one, 100 or something like that. Dude, that's how long ago I was listening. Uh, so I'm just, uh, I'm honored to be here. Thank you guys Episode 100 or something like that. Dude, that's how long ago I was listening. So I'm just honored to be here. Thank you guys. It's been cool. So kind of surreal. The day before, wow, you really set that up. The day before I got sober, I was currently living in a beautiful, like less than a Motel 6, so whatever that is. And I had been homeless that whole year and I never striped on the streets because I was very resourceful, but I did not have a home and I was beaten, I was broken, I was addicted to heroin and meth. I mean, I would put anything in my body really, but those were my two go-to things on a daily basis. And it was, I was finally to the point where,

so that had been, and we can go back, but that was the end of a 10 year run, really. I started using opiates regularly when I was 18. I was still in high school. Did it start with like most people did like the Vicodin and the pills and then it progressed were you injured and that's what you know I you know, I got really I was a chubby kid growing up and You know was teased a little mostly by my friends got into fitness about 14 Maybe yeah, but 14 almost 15 had no idea what I was doing. I just followed random workouts and diet plans. I remember like one time I was eating breakfast, four egg whites and a half a grapefruit and

like a little bit of oatmeal for breakfast. Like I'm sure it was like some bikini girl competitor, but I had no idea what I was doing. But it transformed my body. And then I found the gym when I got, when I turned 16 and long story short, I had started dabbling with alcohol during that chubby phase. You know, obviously at a friend's house stealing it from their mom. And I remember I hated the taste, but I sure liked the effect. And it was like for a brief moment, I didn't have to feel like being me.

And so flash forward, I hit high school and I'm super into lifting. I mean, I'm taking, I'm eating tuna fish and rice and salsa like three times a day in the hallways Just savagely eating tuna like just stunk like shit. I was so dedicated if I go back to that dedication I was so into it and completely transformed my body packed on a ton of muscle like I was just in love I was enthralled, but I had learned along the way by talking to these older guys at the gym which but like super nice dudes I look back I used to pick their brain all the time and They were so cool, and I'd be like why are you doing that? They're like, that's a drop set I'm like, what does that do and they told me they're like do you drink and I was like, yeah a little and they're like

You got to put that shit like if you're serious about this drinking is not a part of it And I was like done so I just quit but and so my junior high school We pulled up to a party and my friend offered me some pain pills And this is still kind of how a naïve I was I remember looking him dead in the eyes I was like I'm not in any pain, and he was like no They'll make you feel like you're drunk, but you don't have a hangover, and I was like oh shit really And he was a guy I think a lot of the bodybuilders do him which I don't know where he got that from but I was like done and so, really? And he was like, yeah, I think a lot of the bodybuilders do them, which I don't know where he got that from,

but I was like, done. And so I took him and I remember where, I don't remember shit about high school, but I remember that split level entry house. I remember these brown cabinets. I remember the red solo cups. I remember when that feeling hit me, I had arrived. I was like, I want this feeling the rest of my life.

And I was just immediately enthralled. You know, you hear these people that goes through surgery and I felt like there's two types of people, ones that take the pain pills and hate them or ones that take them. I'm like, I kind of like those. I got to be careful. I was very much the latter. And so that's how I really got into it. And that really just, it went pretty quick. Like escalate quick or were you, was it only at parties? Cause I have a very similar story story how it got introduced to me. Very similar.

I was lifting weights. I was told like, dude, you don't have to drink. You have this and one beer and it feels like your hell of a hammer. And I was like, oh, sold. Oh, wait, did you get into them? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

I had a mild Vicodin addiction that started in my 20s. And the way it happened was exactly that. I was not drinking because I cared about my physique. I had a buddy tell me. Calorie-free basically. Yeah, basically, hey, we can go to the bars, have one beer and one of these Vicodin, and you'll feel like you had 10 beers.

And I was like sold, and just like you went, oh, I like this. Yes. But for me, it was only like a weekend party thing for a while. So that's how it was introduced to me that I liked it, but I still didn't have access to it and a lot of it. So I was lucky I didn't get addicted till later, but that's how it was introduced to me that I liked it, but I still didn't have access to it and a lot of it. So I was lucky I didn't get addicted to later, but that's how it was introduced. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Exact same. It was just a weekend party thing and

it was fun. And I really enjoyed them. And I was always trying to scheme to get more in my senior year of high school. I got like four months till I graduate. And some of these older guys at the gym, I kind of linked up with. Then older to me at the time, I think they were like 22, 23, but I was 18. I like looked up to these cats that were massive, jacked. And the one guy basically told me that,

yeah, you can go down to Tijuana, Mexico, and you take off your door panels and you get down there. You go to the pharmacies, right? And you pack up all the narcotics, right? I mean, pain pills, muscle relaxers, you know, anabolic steroids, and you put those door panels back on, you put a sombrero on, you drive through the border. And it's back when there were good deal in the pharmacies. I've heard they are not now, but I, and so I did it and I was nervous but looking back. I think it was like idiots of on

I don't know how I wasn't petrified If I did that shit today, I think I didn't realize the amount of federal felonies. I was committing like drug trafficking country lines And I got away with it. Wow, I was like holy shit and I had taken a bunch of money from kids got the shit That's when my entrepreneurship Wow. I was like, holy shit. And I had taken a bunch of money from kids, got the shit. That's when my entrepreneurship began. I kind of joked. Yes, the origins.

Yeah, I had like a ledger and like, you know, who owed me what and what I owed to people. And I ended up doing that three or four times. But along the way, what happened was that was about 2002, 2003. And also, that's when the OxyContin Pill Mill things were really popular. So between what I was getting from Mexico and then you could get abundance of Oxycontin still on the street.

I mean, they they started to tighten that up pretty soon after that, I believe. But I I started using them daily and I still went to high school. I still graduated. I was still jacked. My parents had no idea. It was like, I mean, I just used every day for like four months. And as I graduated, I got a job at Valley Total Fitness. You remember Valley's? Oh, I do. It was still stuck in the 80s in 2003.

Yeah. I got certified as a personal trainer when I was still in high school. My parents were like, you know, to go to college. I was like, why would I go to college? I literally hate school. And like, we know, do you go to college? I was like, why would I go to college? I literally hate school. And like, we need to do something. So got certified, got a job there.

And I remember thinking, you know, it's time to grow up. Some kid had got busted doing the same thing I was doing at the border. And he went to a Mexican prison and I was like, I'm out. I'm too pretty to go to prison. And so I'd heard about these things called withdrawals, but I hadn't actually experienced them. And the kids I was selling to

were just like how me and you got started. They were just doing them on weekends. They weren't like pounding on my window at 4 a.m., like wanting their fix. But I had heard about these things called withdrawals, and I was like, oh, I can tough it out. Probably just be a little bit. And when they hit me, I had never,

you guys would not experience that hopefully, but it's like the worst flu you've had times 10 with this borderline panic attack at all times. Like it's the anxiety along with the physical just as you get it. I went through it and I had the exact same situation where I had heard of it, but so the way it happened to me, tell you that was just like

this, where those symptoms hit and I'm like, and what I think at that time, I actually don't think there's a connection to the pills yet. I actually think I got hit with like the worst flu I've ever been hit with. And I realized like, and I just told myself like the day before like, oh, I'm gonna stop doing these. I've been doing them consistent for a while. I'm gonna stop doing these. I've been doing them consistent for a while I'm gonna stop doing it this feeling hits this crazy You know flu virus the shakes hot cold sweats all the stuff that you're talking about, right? And I go and I'm like man. I just I didn't get very good night's sleep the night before I'm like I just I'm gonna go I have some of them left in my cabinet I'm gonna take some just so I could take one so I can sleep I went in there

I took one and if everything went away, and I felt amazing. I went, oh shit. So then I went online right away, started Googling, if I could, in withdrawal. And right, I started Googling, and I realized, I checked every box, I went, oh my God, I'm not sick, I'm going through withdrawals.

That was the moment that I understood that. Up until that point, I had no idea. And the instant gratification you get from taking that is insane. And so, I mean, it's crazy how you can go from so violently ill to so euphoric in a very short amount of time. About 30 minutes, yeah. Yeah. And so I went through, I got so sick and I was like, holy shit. So I reached out to a buddy and long story short,

he had me come over to his house. He said, my brother's got something for you. And the brother presented heroin. And I remember that was a line I had drawn in the sand. You know, I'm youngest of five from a good family. I never watched my, they were religious growing up. I never watched them drink. I wasn't around.

Like I was, and I remember I was thinking, that's the line in the sand. Like heroin's for people who are junkies and living on the streets. I got and I remember I think and that's that's the line in the sand like heroines for people who are junkies and living on the streets, I got something I'm not gonna do and They pulled out he pulled out a syringe of heroin and I remember I said no and about 30 seconds later I was like give it to me. Let's try it and so I remember after I did it and we can kind of flash forward here, but the guy looked at me and he

Put his hand on my shoulder and he said, Hey kid, I'm sorry, you're not like never going to be the same. And I remember thinking, Oh no, like certainly I'm not going to keep doing this. Keep in mind, I had no plan how to stop. And, uh, my life was never the same. I continued to use and, um, real quick, uh, shit started to fall apart. Well, okay. What remind me what age are you?

You just graduated high school at this point. Yeah, 18. So you're 18 years old. Yeah. You get introduced to that. So you have the withdrawal, you do the heroin, and you felt right away like, okay, I feel good. Like heroin's even crazier

because it's literally within two seconds, you know? Okay, and you're like, I'm okay, and then the feeling wears off. Are you immediately like, I need to do this again? Yes, yeah. And so, you know, you, it's, uh, it's just this great chase, anyone who has been addicted and it's all the same.

Heroin was just almost a little, um, it's obviously riskier and now, now you got fentanyl, which I'm just so grateful I wasn't using during fentanyl. People are dying right and left from that shit. So, you know, I want to hear, I want to hear your opinion. So one of the things you know, I wanna hear your opinion.

So one of the things, I've explained this to how some people get to heroin and with the same type of intentions. Oh, I would never do that. But then what happens, and yours is a little bit different, is, and I was explaining this to my wife when I was sharing these old stories with her, is like, you go from having four or five Vicodin a day

to 10 Vicodin a day to chewing 25 of them a day. Then you go like, well, shit, so many pills. Let me go to Oxycontin and I'll just take two of those a day. Then you're taking 10 Oxycontin a day and you go, man, this is just destroying my liver. It'd be better if I just shot it right into my vein. And it's actually a healthier choice. So a lot of these guys make that transition thinking they never

would, you justify it because you go I mean taking 25 pills can't be good for me, right Brad like so going straight to the vein is a healthier choice Yeah And then of course then you feel it and you go holy shit instant and that's how it a lot of times begins for people 100% even cheaper right and now fentanyl I've heard Obviously, I've been as obviously I've been tried as cheaper than heroin, which is scary. I mean, you know, and so it just progressed. The next 10 years, the best way to describe them is just incomprehensible demoralization. Like I would get these, I would go through these periods. So

what's crazy is for the first probably six, seven, maybe eight years of my addiction, maybe even a little longer, I still was into the gym. I was still fairly jacked and I was addicted to heroin and cocaine. I would shoot up a speed ball and then I would go lift. It was nuts. So it was in daily use you were doing? Yeah. How were you funding this?

Well for the first little bit I had a job. I actually, I would have different jobs. I managed the Gold's Gym, the personal training department for a little bit for better part of almost a year Which is crazy because I was loaded the whole entire time But I was I don't know if there's a thing of a functioning heroin addict, but I was I was fairly functioning at the time this was probably 20 24 25 years old and You know

I would do just a little bit in the morning and then I'd be really cautious to just make it spread out as far as I could. And then when I'd start feeling a little sick, I'd go use just a little more. And then when I got home, I'd do a big blast and be gone. And I didn't look the part. There's a picture from Christmas, probably 2008,

and I've got my arms up in like a Y behind my niece and I got these jacked arms and then just track marks just black I'll send you the picture like and You know, I remember I would put makeup on them to try to hide them but um, wow and it was just such a dichotomy to like look at me and be like Like I didn't look like a heroin addict, but yet I had these track marks that's one reason why I have sleeve tattoos now because they I don't think they're ever coming back they were just stained almost like a purplish black when you do heroin and

and So I kept I kept up this I'm so much like it fooled me that I really wasn't that bad Well, I'm assuming sorry to interrupt you, but I mean, is it sounds like no one knows? Does no one have any idea? No, they did. Oh, my family, my parents. At what point do they figure that figured out if you were hiding it pretty well? What point do you think they knew? So six months into using heroin, I wasn't living with them, but I got super distant and they were like a little concerned, right? But, and when they'd see me, don't get me wrong,

like I mean, you're kinda nodding out and I'm just like, oh, I'm super tired. But I called my mom when I finally like, I hit the spot where I'm like, dude, this is going nowhere fast. And I just said, hey, I need help. And she was like, what? And I was like, no, I need help.

I need to go to rehab. And she was like, for what? And I said, I need help I need to go to rehab And she was like for what and I said I'm addicted to heroin and she dropped the phone She was just I was just like hello. I mean she was in shock So I would I would you know what would happen is I would go through these phases where I? Wouldn't just consecutively use I would go on three or four or five month kind of benders And then I would get sober first 30, 60, 90 days. Like it was a pretty common pattern. Like, and I could fool people

for the first couple months of my use. I wouldn't come around as much. And again, I oftentimes until the very end still kind of looked the part. Like I was still fairly jacked. I mean, it would change a little, but. And then they would kind of catch on, you know? And then they would pressure me. I'd you know, and then they would pressure me.

I'd go to rehab. But I started getting locked up. I started going to jail in like 2005. And if you're if you're not done using drugs and you keep going on probation, you're going to keep going to jail a lot. And so I think I went I went 17 times 17 bookings in the county. 17 times. That's back when they'd take you on anything nowadays, especially in California,

you can do about with anything and not go. I mean, I know you're going cause you're testing positive. So you're like, yeah. Or like I kept getting new charges, even something small as like, I would get pulled over and, uh, you know, the cop was suspicious. I often had like expired tags, um, and they would find paraphernalia. But it was always because I was still on probation for my other charge that they would take me in. But I didn't stay every time.

Sometimes just book and release me. But I got to know that county jail pretty well. And towards the end of my use, there is a good part of the story coming up, hopefully. So I'd do this game three or four months and then everyone would catch on. One of three things would intervene. Well, two things really. My parents, and they would either send me to detox or to rehab. I went to six or seven different treatment centers and my parents would spend tens of thousands of dollars

on these with the hope that I would come out and be fine. And every time I would stay sober for a little bit and then I'd go right back to it. And I just wasn't done. I think about that a lot with people who are obese and need to lose weight. And they hit that streak where they get to fire, and they lose a little weight, and then they go right back.

And it's like, not that I'm necessarily comparing the two, because I think food addiction and drug addiction have some inherent differences. Some things in common, though, too. Absolutely. And so I can deploy empathy to that when people are just like, oh, could you imagine me in that fat and not get it together? I'm like, could you imagine being a junkie and not stopping?

Like it was pretty crazy. Like I would and I would get shit back pretty quick. Like I would get a new job and using somewhere in the fitness industry or coaching or and I would you know start making a little money and it just and then every time I just go right back to it right back to it and Your intentions when you would stop really true like I'm never doing it again or are you like I'm managing this I'll stop and then go back on after a couple months? Um it depends uh there was there was many times where I was like no I'm done for good and uh

but I wasn't doing the action part I know you guys actually had two of my friends, Tom and Ben on, right? Yeah. From, and I was on their podcast when we were in, when Orlando together and Ben's got a really similar story as mine. Like he just, sometimes I would, it's just, sometimes I would think I'm done, but I was just lying to myself because I wasn't actually doing the action part of like everything they told me to do in rehab or a meetings Uh, I was just kind of like white knuckling it and so then I would kind of be super surprised when I'd relapse But it now looking back it was like well no shit. She relapsed However, there was some times where I knew I was just like alright

I'm gonna stay sober get everyone off my back and then I'll just use a little. And what I would do initially is say, I'm not going back to heroin, that clearly doesn't work for me, but I'm just gonna do a little GHB, or maybe I'll drink just a little, or maybe I'll do just a little bit of cocaine, which was just a horrible idea, that never works. And so I would do these things at first

and that's why I don't drink. You know, I never necessarily had a problem with drinking per se. Like, it was probably like my seventh favorite thing to do on the list. But it would always bring me back to, like I would get just tipsy enough that somebody would be like,

oh you wanna go to some blow, just cocaine. I'm like, yeah, and then I'd get that and then I'd need to come down from that so I'd call the dealer and it was like. Inhibitions would lower. Yeah, every time. And you know, maybe didn't happen the first time, but three or four times, you know, and so that's why I don't people have asked me, like, do you think you could drink today? I'm like, I don't really want to find out because it's not worth risking one. And I didn't like it enough to begin with. And so yeah, I think that sometimes I, I knew I was going to go back out and other times I really believed I wasn't, you know. What was the breaking point or what was the last thing that made you finally be able to stop?

Yeah. This is getting to the day before now. Yep. Now then we get to the day before. So I spent, uh, I spent all of 2011 in jail and you want to talk about a moment where I got out I remember the day was January 27th to 2012 my sobriety day is November 20th to 2012 and I got out in the 27th and why I remember that day is because my my birthday I was about to say my bellybutton birthday

That's what the same recovery because you have a sobriety bird like when the day I was born was January 31st same recovery because you have a sobriety bird. Like when the day I was born was January 31st. I didn't know that was a thing. I about said that. I didn't know that was a thing. When I say that to people, they're like, what in the fuck are you talking about? Um, so my actual birthday was the 31st and I hadn't shown, I'd either not shown up to a birthday party period or shown up sober in years and my parents were so

thrilled and I really believed I remember they could he they said there's something different in your voice because I'd go to jail for like 30 or 60 90 days but a whole year I was like oh mom I've never had this much clean time I'm done you know I wasn't married and I mean kids thank God no kids it's a whole different discussion but I am and I would uh I really believed I was done like to the core. I had never been sober that long and I got out, but there's a difference of being sober and being in recovery and being recovered to me as an action. Like I'm working every day to become a better man,

mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. And I wasn't in there. I was doing a lot of the same shit I was doing here. I was getting in some fights. I was bartering and gambling and like, you know, didn't have access to heroin. Yeah. We just didn't have access doing here. I was getting in some fights. I was bartering and gambling and like, you know. You just didn't have access to heroin. Yeah, we just didn't have access to pills. I mean, you can get more drugs in the prison, but not really the county jail as much. I mean, I'm sure some people bring it in,

but not where I was at. And I did the drug treatment program even in there and I did it just kind of be like, all right, whatever, something to do. And I got out and the itch came back. Like I got out and I remember, I was like, no, no, I out and I remember I was like no no I'm done and I was like but I don't think I need to do any of that recovery stuff like I just needed this whole year to be sober that's it like I still think I didn't fully believe I think I

just thought I believed that I just needed enough time away from it and that was the answer and for somebody who is not a true drug addict that might might be true. But for a guy that suffers from addiction like I did, like this disease in my brain, and it came back and I remember I was sweating, my palms were, and I called the dealer, and I'm like, my stomach, I come about to shit my pants, you know that feeling, and I'm just like, oh. And I'm like, he's not gonna answer.

Drug dealers frequently change their number. And he answered. And I remember he told me, he said, hey, I'm like, he's not going to answer. Drug dealers frequently change their number and he answered. And I remember he told me, he said, Hey, come downtown. And I remember I start driving down there and I did exactly what they told me to do in rehab, which was play the tape through. And I played the tape through and the tape went, you're going to go pick up. If you don't die, cause that's actually when most people die is when they've had time away from it and then they do it too hard.

Yeah. Um, you're not going gonna stop till something stops you. You're not gonna show up to your birthday. My parents had finally joined a program called Al-Anon, which is basically a sister program for AA. And they had learned these things called boundaries, which is just the worst word for an addict. And they said, hey, we love you,

but if you decide to use again, we're done. We're done. And I actually believed him and I was like, your parents are gonna be done with you. And I'm crying on the way down and I'm still going. And it was that moment I realized how powerless, like without a solution of recovery, like this shit was gonna eat me alive.

And I couldn't believe I was doing it. I couldn't believe I was going. So I picked up, I didn't die, clearly. But that started a run of not drawing a sober breath from that day until November 20th, my sobriety day. And during that time, you know, I was homeless the whole year. My parents did in fact cut me off. It was the best thing they could have done for me. And when I got sober, they didn't give me shit. I'm so grateful for that. Were you initially angry at them for that?

Or did you? Or so angry. You were. Oh yeah. I felt like the biggest victim. Find me a really good addict and I'll find you a really good victim with me. Like, I mean, it was just, could you believe my parents just, my dad said, if you come around here, we'll call the cops.

Keep in mind, I'd stolen all his business checks, forged them. Like this wasn't like, just cause they, you know, were mad. I was using, like I was destructive to their lives.. I mean my parents have been married 50 years and they almost got a divorce over me because my mom would keep enabling me and my dad was like stop doing this shit and so I went you know I went to their house one time to get some food because I was hungry and my dad called the cops and I remember I just wow I just told all my friends could you believe my dad's such a prick and God you have to now You're you're the audience here. You're a father of almost five year old

How hard that had to been for your dad to do that dude like and now you know now because you're like I look back It was the best thing I ever did going through that you're mad at him But looking back now and fast forward where you're at and so farther imagine how hard that was for him I'm gonna Matt, you know, I can't imagine now, but it's, my dad is one of the best men I know. If I end up being half the man he is, I will have succeeded in life, and I hated that man for a long time.

But he sticks to his word, he has integrity, he thinks before he talks. It sometimes drives me nuts, like talk a little faster, Dad, but he rarely has to say I'm sorry, because he's not, but I hated that faster dad, but he rarely has to say I'm sorry because he's not But I hated that about and he he wouldn't cave. He was like, nope tell your sober you're not allowed around here period the end and I would be so hard and when people reach out to me parents on Instagram You know, it's so hard to not have much context, but I tell these people like listen

I'm not saying this is what but if you have tried getting this kid or girl or whatever sober far more than they have, and you are consistently putting more energy in this, getting screwed, you gotta back out. Like, I know that's the hardest thing, but I wouldn't have got sober if my parents didn't let me fall. Like every time I'd about to hit that rock bottom,

because they loved me, they'd put this little cushion under me, so I'd still hit, but it would just be a little soft, you know? They'd send me to cushion under me so I'd still hit, but it would just be a little soft, you know? They'd send me to a nice cushy detox or rehab or, and so, uh, the whole year goes by and by the end of the year was getting, uh, you know, November in, uh, in Utah, it's pretty cold. And, uh, you know, I'm scrounging place to place this day. At that time, he asked me, how was I affording this for the, for the last few years of my addiction,

it was all through illegal activity, which is also why I kept going to jail dealing bartering stealing, um, you name it like Um, you know, i'm lucky to not be in prison. It was uh, Just the things that the extent you'll go to to get your drugs are are quite it's it's insane so the whole year goes by and um This is where the story gets good, don't worry, listen. I get to this place and hopefully it's okay to talk about God on here, but the last three days

before my sobriety, I never thought God turned his back on me. I would hear people say that, that I would use with, and I'm like, oh, this isn't God's fault. Like I'm willingly making this decisions. Like now my parents, I thought were really rude to do that to me, but. You at least had the awareness it wasn't God's fault. Yeah, it was not God's fault. And I remember I got on my knees and prayed because I was, you know, I was starting to

hang out with some, listen, heroin addicts or fentanyl addicts or whatever. They just like, you just kind of drool on yourself and eat some macaroni and cheese and popsicles on a banana chair and like play video games like I would just go to these dudes apartment and we would just like Drool when you start getting around methamphetamine addicts it's a whole different game like there's a psychosis that comes with it and I started linking up with some of the Worst people I could probably find in Salt Lake, which I didn't even know they existed that bad. And I'm hanging out with these guys that are, you know, being, you know, chased by the feds for murder. And I'm just thinking, and I started hallucinating and I couldn't tell what was real or what's false. Because when you

don't sleep for three days, and then you add in meth, I still to this day don't know some of what was real or just, you know, an illusion in my head. And I started having this bad gut feeling, like so bad that if the drugs didn't kill me, these people I was hanging out with were going to, you know, I started panicking and I owed some of the money and I'm like doing whatever I have to do to get paid. And I'm just like, I'm going to, this is not good. And I couldn't describe it. It was the strongest gut feeling I had. It was like, dude, you got to stop. So I started praying about three or four days before I finally got sober.

And I just got on my knees and I was like, God, I don't, I don't know if you know who I am, but dude, I don't know what to do. Like I can't, the addiction was so strong that the withdrawals that I would go through every goddamn morning to get it was insane. Like I would, every morning I'd wake up sick and you, I just the same groundhog state. I would do what I had to do to get 10 bucks to get one heroin balloon and then instantly feel better

and then go scrounge, do more and then get, you know, I remember I was so terrified of the withdrawals that I just kept, I was so terrified. And I remember I drive to the public detox and it's not a great place to get so, I mean just piss stains everywhere. And I would go to check myself in and I'd leave. And so I start praying and I just said,

you gotta help me stop this. I don't know what to do. I had terminated off probation. So I had nothing hanging over my head for the first time because that's what they gave me the year For was like we're done with you. You're gonna go do a year in jail No more paper like you're clearly not fit to be on probation So we're just giving you your time and you're free to go and so that whole year I wasn't I didn't have like the cops bearing down my throat looking for me when I violated probation and so I

I was burying down my throat looking for me when I violated probation. And so I prayed and you know, God works in mysterious ways. It's not always, in fact, it's often not how I want, but it's always how I need. And honestly, my sobriety date says far more about God than it does me. And I really believe that I put in a lot of footwork, but there were some miracles. So I prayed and my mom gave me a phone call on November 9th. I don't know what day it was actually she just said hey your grandfather's passed away and I was like shit and she said I really want to go to the funeral And I said I want to go I just was like Brad do something right this year

Just one thing just show up and she said to me Brad just do what you got to do to be right And I knew what that meant and then don't be so high I'm drooling on myself or so high on meth that I'm paranoid and looking out the window. But you know, also don't be in withdrawals. And it's like finding that exact right balance that I could kind of function had long gone out the window. So the day came and she picked me up from that hotel and back to that day and she, you know, the drugs had ran out. I mean, again, I didn't have a job, so I couldn't make it last. And I started to go through the withdrawals, but it was pretty early, and I was like,

I think I can make it through this. It's gonna be tough, but I just show up. I had this strong feeling to show up. Well, pretty quickly out of nowhere, they got pretty violent, like the half hour before she was coming. Like, they hit me way harder than they normally do. Norma was kind of this progression and I'm shaking,

I'm shivering and I get in her car and she's just like, and then I vomit in her car and she looked at me and she was like, dude, you can't go up like this. What do we need to do? And I looked at her like, what do you think we need to do? So I make my good little religious mother drive me, clear out to the hood to get my drugs. And by this point, we're going to be we're going to be out, you know,

45 minutes late to get to my grandpa's funeral, her father-in-law. And so we got that she said, get in the backseat. She's like, do what you got to do. I'm not stopping somewhere like I can't believe you're doing this to me. Do whatever you have to do to be right. Like, I'm so sick of you. You're so selfish. I'm so mad, rightfully so. I I mean I just made her pay for it when I got there, too I was like, oh and I need 20 bucks. Thanks. Well

So my mother had known I used heroin Obviously, but she'd never watched me use it. And so as we're driving up the highway You know, I'm sitting back there and it's it's a gory scene to watch somebody use IV drugs. It's just there's tourniquets and blood and I had shattered all my veins. I mean, they never came back to be honest. And I'm back there trying to find a vein. Sorry for the graphic nature and there's a, you know, I can't find one and I'm shaking. And I look up and I see her eyes in the rearview mirror and she's just crying and

she's not like Yup, yuppie. They're just like tears just rolling down her face And I remember thinking if like I could look what heartbreak looked like in the dictionary like if there was a picture would be my mom's face in that moment and I remember it so vividly what her just watching me and I don't know how we didn't crash cuz I only think she looked at the road And I remember I finally find the vein and I and I do it and I looked up and I said I'm sorry mom and she said uh She didn't say a word. She just looked at me

and shook her head and her mascara is going everywhere and I'm like Holy shit, and in that moment even though I wasn't sick anymore no amount of drugs could fill this gaping hole inside of me and I remember I thought very clearly of two options right now you can either kill yourself or you can get sober there's not, you cannot go on a day like this and the first seemed really

like a better idea because when you've tried 59 times I don't know if that's a real number but like there's not much hope that the 50s gonna be the shot or like however many times I would I probably tried it legitimately two dozen times and I'm like but I remember thinking that was one of the most selfish things you've ever done but if you kill yourself that's the most selfish thing you could do like and um we got we went to the funeral and I got done with the funeral and you know my brother was driving me back and he was like dude you can't do this can't live like this like

you got to get your shit together and I said I know and I prayed again and I was just like God like I don't want to kill myself, but I don't know what to do. Make this end. And 20 minutes later, I'm going with some guy named Gumby. I don't know his real name, to get drugs. And he said, hey, will you drive? I'm too messed up. And so I get in this car. And this is another god shot divine intervention. And I know that to be true today.

I was getting on the on ramp. And all of a sudden, this cop gets behind me and puts on his lights. And I'm like, why are we getting pulled over? And he said, Oh shit, man, this car is stolen. I like, he's panicking. And I was like, and you're driving. Oh, cool.

And I remember there was this brief moment where I was like, maybe I should like go on a high speed chase. I'm like, I'm in like a 1994 Hyundai Elantra. I'm like, not going to win. And, uh, so I pulled over and it was crazy. I can't even explain the moment of relief that came over me of just, I took a deep breath and I was like, holy shit, this is it.

Like, this is it. I'm done. I couldn't explain it. It was cop, yep, he didn't come up to the window nicely. He was like, you know, a gun pole. Then he was like, get out of the car. And I'm like, okay, I'm putting my hands out. I'm like, dude, I'm seriously, I'm a nice guy. I want to go to jail. And he was like on your knees, right?

And he was cool. He didn't like tackle me to the ground. But like when you're in a stolen car, they're not just like, hey, can I see your license and registration? They're like, get out of the car and guns. And I'm like, I know the car stolen, but I really didn't know. But now I know. And you know, that cop took me to jail and he actually, I remember he had a really good chat with me on the way there and I just said, man, I'm done. He goes, I've heard that a lot from the back of that cop car.

And I said, oh, bro, I've said it a lot. So I was like, but I mean it. And you know, yeah, he took the time to ask about my story and how I got into this. Like and you know, when he came up and arrested me, I said, I said listen man I was on my way to get drugs I was thinking about killing myself and he was like thinking I'm like not now like just earlier like we're good you don't need to and that's where my journey began and I did 30 days was all charged the charges were dropped he stole it from a family member they decided not to pursue but it was just enough time for me to go through the

most hellacious detox of my whole entire life I remember laying on that cement floor in the jail and just laying in my own vomit and just thinking like this is the last Time you have to do this if you want to this is the last time you feel like you're gonna die but you're not and You know, they called me to go home and I remember called my mom and I told her and she goes I said hey I'm out and she goes shit and she said you can't come here you die won't let you tell you get more sobriety She says well, I'll take you to a recovery meeting so she took me to a recovery meeting like an AA meeting was a CA meeting actually which is they're all the same, but

Dropped me off, and that's where my journey began dude, and that was that was December 23rd of that of 2012 two days before Christmas and You know, I finally just I went left instead of right like I Finally just said everything they've told me to do. I'm gonna do it for a year. And if my life still sucks, I Screw it. I'll go back and just to come to being a junkie But wouldn't you know just like with fitness you just do all the shit you need to do for a year like your life can change dramatically. And it did. Like, by the time I'd hit a year sober, my life was... If you had asked me to write down what I wanted out of my first year of sobriety, and it wasn't always peaches and candy cane, there were some really hard times in there.

Really hard. And coming to the reality that you've been a giant piece of shit and at 29 years old, you have absolutely... 28 years old, you have absolutely nothing to your name. I had two door, I had a car that was a two door, that was really a one door because the passenger side was like welded shut. So I'd like hang out with the girls and I'm just going to jump through, gotta go through the driver's side there, just hop on over. But I was so grateful for that $500 car I bought, like every little milestone I was so grateful for and sometimes I'm jealous of just looking back. I wish I could tap into that man. Like you start getting, you know, I was so grateful for everything, just the smallest shit. I rented a room and I went from having a mattress on a floor to an actual bed and I was just stoked. Over the moon.

This shit is so cool. I've got a bed now. And yeah, my life is almost 12 years later. Next month is just beyond my wildest dreams, man. What did, at what point did? It was a lot longer than I was planning to. No, I know. I think you took the table. Very honest and vulnerable. Yeah.

When, what point, because I'm sure this was a really important moment for you to where you felt like you had won your dad back over or you had Prove him Yeah, so you know part of the 12 steps Which I'm a huge believer in for anything I think you know there and part of the step is a night step is you make direct amends to people you know the you've harmed. And there's a reason why it comes, so I'd been sober about nine or 10 months at this point and I took him to lunch, took him to Applebee's.

Horrible steaks. I think they're all closed, right? Are they? No, there's an Applebee's. Oh, there's an Applebee's still? Good mozzarella sticks. Oh, that was the other one that went out of business. Ton of them did.

Anyway, I digress. And I made my amends to him. And I started calculating what they had spent on rehab. Little did I know, my dad had to take out second mortgages on his house. Oh, wow. I mean, they did everything they could. He drained some of his retirement. And I didn't know that.

And so, you know, I was hit with this guilt. And I remember I made that amends to him and I said, what can I do to make this better? Like, I don't know how I'm going to repay you this money. He says, I don't want the money. He's like, I just want you to live a life that's worth living. And like, and my dad was slow. My mom, by the time I was six months,

she was my best cheerleader. She'd be like, you're so amazing. amazing like she's just like oh my gosh, and I think it was at my one year Sobriety birthday dinner like I had a bunch of my recovery friends come I think there was probably 30 people there family friends and That was the first time he came up to me and he said hey I'm proud of you, and I hadn't heard that out of his mouth since I was a kid. There was nothing to be proud of. And my dad is a man of very few words, so when he says something, he means it. And I think it was that moment that I was like, shit, this is amazing.

And now, my dad takes a lot of service work into the prison. My dad is, he was a very religious man, but he lacked spirituality, you know, by his own admission. He thought I was just a bad person that needed to get good. And he goes, what I've understood through this journey of, because he worked the 12 steps for Al-Anon and he got, you know, it was still very religious, but he got very spiritually connected. He said, you were a sick person that needed to get well because he would just be like, you're such a bad person. You know, that's what he'd say to me early on.

Like, I can't believe, you know, I didn't raise you to act like this. And so, you know, he takes service work out of the prison and specifically helps inmates with drug. And I've been honored to go speak to these guys a few times. And it's just always a really cool moment when I get to do that stuff with them. And it takes time.

It took, I mean, that one year, but it probably took even probably two or three before I feel like, okay, he really trusted me. Well, yeah, I was just gonna ask you at what, cause even at one year, I would think there'd be a part of you that's almost playing that imposter syndrome where you're like, well, I've been in a year sober before

when I was in jail. At what point did you start believing in yourself? Like there's probably a period there where you're like, you're doing the work, you're doing the discipline, but that you might even have in the back of your head this fear of like, I could go back or I might go back. Was there a point when you felt the confidence in yourself like, oh, I'm a different person now? You know what, it was probably closer to four years. so I started my business, which was formerly Key Nutrition is what it used to be called, it's now Next Level Nutrition, but in February of 2017, and I'd been working in the coaching,

working for somebody for the past, from basically early on in my sobriety, like early 2013 to this date. And I remember I had no clue how I was going to start this business. We had a brick and mortar at the time. Like I had no idea. And like I drained all my savings. And I remember I was like terrified of how am I going to do this?

And I remember, you know, my mom was like, I don't know anything about business, but I know that if you can get sober from a heroin addiction, you can do this too. I mean, the only shit I know about business was from watching Gary Vee and watching Shark Tank. That's not a really good business plan. But she said, I know you know how to make things happen. You made it happen on the streets using every day, and you made it happen in those last four years.

And I remember, it was somewhere around that time, and I got the business going, and we started making some money that I remember like it was somewhere around that time and I got the business going and you know we started making some money that I was like holy shit like holy shit I think this has changed like I think I'm really doing this now yeah you know but it didn't happen at four months before I would get four months and I would think I got this shit down and then I would be humbled every time and it like it I was was kinda living on the edge of my seat some day, like even into year three or four, like don't mess this up, don't mess this up.

Right, right. Do you feel like you can see like, had those skills that it took not only to like get drugs, but also even to power through and be resilient to not go back. Have you seen those apply to your business and having success with that and scaling that? Oh, 100%.

100%, I was telling you guys before, even one of the offerings I have and the coaching business I have is really all the principles I've learned in recovery. And I think what business and entrepreneurship did, I would hear these people share at meetings, like I'm a grateful alcoholic these people share meetings like, I'm a grateful alcoholic and I'm just like,

what in the fuck is the matter with you? I am not grateful for this shit. Even at five or six years, I was like, nope. If I could have read down my 20s, I would have. It wasn't exactly fun starting, I didn't even know how to do laundry at 29 years old. I was like, glad I made it through it. Still not grateful. It happened.

I saw some horrific shit, bad shit happened. I've, I really did some horrific shit to people, um, that I don't even know. Like, you know, my garage got stolen the other day and I was like, this is my karma shit. Um, but through business, I realized how much I relied back upon the principles and part one of the main principles, I say the main principle of the 12 steps, which I don't think people understand or just even meetings is, is God and how much my spiritual connection is really, it's, it's everything. Because without that, I still believe that no matter how long

I've been away from the drugs, I will go back if I start thinking I'm God or there isn't a God. And so, so many principles, just even with grit and tenacity and just the figure it out attitude, it finally hit me that I am, I was asked on a podcast like three years ago you know do you regret going through any of it and it was actually the first time I answered it this way and I said no I said it has absolutely made me the man I am and also the father. When become I became a father

I think that was the moment that it like everything clicked like I I have I'm so grateful for everything I went through I honestly wouldn't change a thing Because without it, I don't think I would be this deeply connected to God. Hmm What is your spiritual practice look like now? How do you maintain that? um, I do I do a lot of meditation and Lots of prayer sometimes very formal, sometimes very informal. And I've been reading a lot and some of that, there was like a Christian daily devotional book because I was like, listen, I don't know if I'm Christian, I know I love God, but like,

I need to develop this relationship more. And yeah, I mean, I would say those are the main things, but also really trying to get out in nature and just like be present and... Pete Slauson Away from the world. Jared Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson You said your parents were really religious? Jared Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson Do you think that their devotion helped save you? 100%. You know, even though I quit going to church when I was like 12, I remember just being

in these places and I had this thing come over me like you're not supposed to be here. Like I remember thinking like, no offense to these people, but I'm not this bad, but clearly I am, right? But I absolutely think I did. And I mean, they prayed for me and they had everyone in their church pray for me. And I'd go back to that church and be all strung out and everyone was so kind to me, which I really appreciate.

But I absolutely think that that was huge and saving me. And you know, I overdosed six times and I'm not dead. Like I just, which is why I'm so passionate about trying to carry a message of recovery. Like I don't do this shit perfect at all. I was just going to ask you, how do you think God is using this? You know, I, when I first, when I first got sober, it was funny. I started working at this place training, when I first, when I first got sober, it was funny, I started working at this place, training people, and I would,

I was working with these like higher end clients, and I was so embarrassed to ever tell them that I was an addict or an alcoholic. Like I didn't want them to know. And I remember I was chatting with a client, we were doing like our nutrition consult, and she was like, I just feel like I get three or four good weeks

and then I just implode. And it just came out of my mouth. I'm like, listen, I haven't had that struggle with food since I was like 12, but I've struggled with addiction and I can totally relate. And as it came out of my mouth, I was like, shit. I was nervous. All of a sudden I was like, well, I wasn't supposed to say that and I was probably, you know,

nine, ten months sober at the time and she was like, wait, what? And she starts asking more questions and she was like, well, what were you addicted to? And I wanted to say, oh, just alcohol. Yeah. That's commonly acceptable. Heroin. And she was like, oh my gosh, and she got all teary-eyed and I'm so proud of you. And I think it was at that moment I realized And she was like, oh my gosh, and she got all teary-eyed, and I'm so proud of you. And I think it was at that moment I realized, and she was like, why did you not tell me before now?

That is such a powerful story. And I just said, candidly, it's because I'm not even a year sober. I think you would think less of me. And she was like, oh, buddy, you got that really twisted. And it still took me about another six months before I was really willing to share publicly. But I went to, it's when I changed my Instagram handle when I was competing back in the day to the sober bodybuilder, which I honestly wish I could get a new one, but

this is where we're at. We're rolling with it. And it was like kind of my coming out party to just everybody. And I was like, Hey, and like a lot of people were like oh dude I heard you were a massive drug addict we're not surprised like this is not new news like Solid City is not that big like word gets around and so I've just always felt a really strong pull to share my story and you know most of the responses are really good but sometimes I get some people hating on Instagram and you know I don't do this for clout. I do it because if a hopeless junkie like me can build a life that's pretty cool, and there's nothing intrinsically special about me, I feel like God has kind of called me to share that message. And that's why I'm so honored to be on such a big platform sharing it.

And I've shared it hundreds of times on podcasts, but I'm really honored to be on here because like no matter what you're going through no matter how dark it feels like I would see Just and I going back to your question about parents devotion I would see this glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel when it was so dark and I would just see it and I Would be like There's like there's got to be a better way like there's got like there's a light down there I don't know how to get there, but this is not the way I want to go. Like this tunnel. And so I just have felt, no matter what it is,

like there's just, I, I mean, people still in my family, I'm shocked, dude. I still can't believe you're doing this shit. This is crazy. Like because I was written off, I was hopeless, homeless, helpless, I was a full-blown junkie and people don't usually live through six overdoses. I don't know why I did, but I feel like, you know,

it's my job to at least try to carry a message. I'm a new Christian, and I'm a data person. I know, yeah. So I look at data and I was... It's amazing, by the way. Yeah, thank you. I wasn't surprised when I saw this, but one of the most common factors among people

that recover from addiction is a belief in God. Oh, 100%. It's part of the 12 steps, right? Yes. And why do you... It's like the 12 steps, really. Why do you think that is? Maybe somebody listening right now who needs help,

what is it that they're looking for that they're not getting, that they're trying to get from? Maybe drugs or some other addiction that you end up finding through this spiritual connection? You know, it was interesting. Bill Wilson, who started Alcoholics Anonymous with Dr. Bob, who, Bill Wilson was a hell of an entrepreneur by the way.

I'm not surprised he like turned this into this, I mean it was nonprofit, but this altruistic movement. They started to identify that like these people, what they were suffering from was a spiritual malady. Like they were maladapted to life and that the only thing, like no human power could relieve me of my addiction. I tried, I tried many girls.

I tried. I've seen people try for their kids. But if you are seriously a real addict and alcoholic, like that is your test in life. No human power can do that. And like they found that the only thing that worked for these people was God. Like they were kind of trying to be like, well, like, let's help. And they're like, oh, we can only facilitate this. Like they were kind of trying to be like, well, like, let's help. And they're like, oh, we can only facilitate this. Like they've got to, that's why the whole premise of Alcoholics Anonymous is that you, you know, find a belief in a higher power, like that's greater than yourself.

Like, and you know, I just happened to call that God. And honestly, what's cool was I think they did a really good job about being like, you know, we need to see where religious people are right, but that doesn't jive with you. Okay, don't let it steer you away because if you do not find a connection to God, like all these hundreds of men we had helped, it was only men then. The only ones who have stayed sober did one thing in common, it was develop this relationship with God. And I think that, I think it's so powerful and I think that God is the only thing more powerful

because left to my own devices, I believe that the devil lies between my two ears most days. It doesn't lie in my heart, it doesn't lie in my gut intuition. It lies in between these two ears and the stories that tells me and the bullshit it makes up and whether I'm not good enough for this and left to my own devices.

When I'm spiritually disconnected, I get really in between these two ears in a bad way and not saying that's like sometimes really good thoughts in between these two ears. Like, but I believe that's where, you know, that's where I get the shield of arm. And so I, I really believe that that is the missing link for most people to overcome addiction. 100%. I think there's a line in the big book of alcoholism that says, God could or would if

he were saw. When you seek him, I've watched that and it's been absolutely true. Anyone I've known that's got sober and stayed sober, that's been one common denominator is that they have a relationship with whatever God they choose to believe in. Buddha, Allah, whatever, just spirit of the universe, Jesus Christ, whatever that is, I think is the most powerful thing we have. Pete Yeah, so it's interesting about this. So, you're a fitness and nutrition expert, it's what you do now for a living. And so you understand this,

the statement I'm about to make, but if you kind of live the way you're supposed to, you're going to be unhealthy. If you live the way that society tells you, I should rephrase that, eat the way that they tell you to eat, live the way you're supposed to, work the way you're supposed to, you're going to be unhealthy physically. We know this, you're going to be obese. But we don't understand this around our spiritual health. We just don't. And so, we distract ourselves, we take no quiet time, we don't ponder these questions. Yes. The question is, you hear a lot of people not even think about that. Whereas in the past, this was people pondered this. And I think that's one of the big issues. And so, my journey started

off with fitness and then led me to where I'm at now. And I'm like, oh yeah, of course, of course, you're going to be sick spiritually if you live the way that the world tells you. You'd be sick in every way if you live the way the world told you. 100%. And I think that people really miss under, they underestimate, there's the right word, how much their spiritual health can play into their physical health, both positive and negative. Oh yeah. Absolutely.

Did this lead to like a great awakening or self-awareness about yourself? Like what I mean is, many times when people medicate with drugs and or food, there's something deeper that they're running from or that they don't want to discover or they want to ignore or trauma that they buried years ago. Did this lead to a self-discovery for you? Did you find, like, I know you've referenced before that like the fat kid in you and you've had like that relationship, but were there things that after you got sober

and you started to work on that relationship that you started to unpack of like what maybe actually led to the drugs and led to that for so many years? Yeah, 100%. You know, I remember when it finally hit me and it was that day driving to the dealer's house January 27th, 2012, it hit me that they had said this shit in rehab and I was like, that makes no sense. They had said things like the drugs aren't the problem.

You're the problem. They're your solution. And the problem is the solution worked for a minute or we wouldn't keep doing it. Sometimes for a long minute. And eventually the solution to the problem becomes a bigger problem than the problem. And that's when you run into just full bone addiction. Just can't stop. The solution that it works to, always like at some point

it worked for somebody, like to do these drugs. Yeah, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. Oh no, I'm comfortable. Yeah, and pretty soon the solution to your problem, which the problem is you, it finally clicked. I'm like, because if drugs were just the problem, why would I be driving down to the dealer's house after one year of complete sobriety?

Right. Like it's not like I'm hooked anymore. And I was like, oh my God, it's because I'm the problem. Me. And so the, and what's interesting is I almost like, I was searching for this thing. I was like, because I would hear these people really, really, really common with females and addiction, sexual molestation, right? But even a. But even a lot of guys molested. And I was like, I had a pretty good childhood. My dad worked a lot and then he had a lot of callings

for our church, it wasn't home a ton. But I didn't know how many things horrific happened other than when I moved out here to the Bay Area, I was walking home from school in sixth grade and I broke up with this girl, we're in sixth grade, keep in mind, these guys are in ninth grade, so that seemed like they were like 50 to me. They had Raiders starter jackets on I've hated the Raiders ever since They beat me up they shoved me around the typical Raider fan

They beat me out pretty good they kicked me I remember you remember you kicked in my head. They showed me in the snow. They like kind of jumped me. I mean, I mean, I was in sixth grade and I was just as wide as I was tall. I'm like, give me a break, dude. But that's the moment this paralyzing anxiety hit me. I mean, I went home and I didn't know how to describe it, but that I went home and my mom said, I'm never going back to that school again. I'm terrible. She shipped me out here to live like a good enabler. Two days later, living in Santa Cruz, came out here and I think there was nothing super traumatic, but what had happened was I had such paralyzing anxiety

and I didn't know what the, and luckily, this is more commonly talked about today. It wasn't back then. I mean, this is 1997 and I didn't know how to articulate that They thought I needed Ritalin so they put me on Ritalin and made it worse. Oh geez for anxiety. Holy cow Yeah, like they just like these kind of just can't focus. He's all over He's really fidgety and like so put me on Ritalin and that made it even worse And I was always from that moment and I've dealt with anxiety through my sobriety

Not as much the last three or four years, and that's a God thing, that's not a me thing, because when I get away from God, this is how I know God works. I get it back, I start getting anxiety, I start, and I just, you know, I don't have an option to medicate that today, well, at least not any, like, thing with Xanax or anything fun,

and I don't medicate it at all, but I, and so I don't think, you know, some people like uncover this, you know, these really, really deep things. Sometimes they hit like literally stuff so deep that like my buddy finally realized he got molested at five and he didn't even realize this. He had to go to therapy and like his mom told him

and like, I was like, what was my problem? And I think it was just, I was escaped from that moment on, I was using to escape being me because it was so painful to be me and that continued throughout the rest of my life. I love the story you told about your client when you let them in that you were human. We convey this to coaches and trainers all the time. Yep. That I think when you first become a trainer or a coach, especially you need to think you can present yourself as this perfect person, but that

person doesn't connect with you. The client doesn't connect with you until they realize that you've had challenges as well and just makes you more effective. How much of a better coach are you because of what you went through and how much better of a coach have you developed as a result? Oh, a hundred percent. I love, you guys are doing a great job with all that by the way. I mean, you're mediocre.

You guys have done a great job. I'm getting jacked, dude. I just keep looking and I was like, damn. It's 30 days, dog. I'm getting jacked. Hands down has made me a better coach. It's helped me deploy more empathy. It's helped me understand. I would sit here when I'm like, I remember working at that gold's gym. Keep in mind, I'm literally going to my car and doing just enough heroin that they can't tell,

but just enough so I can not get sick. And I'm judging some of these overweight people in the gym. And I'm like, could you imagine being that guy? I remember having this conversation, like shows up every day. It was like he gained five more pounds. Like zero empathy. And like the absolute insanity of that, when I look back, that I would judge these people when I'm literally doing heroin on the lunch break. I would do the same thing when I was homeless. I'd be like, look at those guys with the shopping cart. Give me a break.

Wow, losers. And I'm like, bro, you don't have a house. So when I finally got sober, I started, you know, I understood the like, man, those people are running to cover up the thing too. You usually don't, you know, just accidentally eat yourself into 400 pounds. And that there's, you know, food was the solution and now it's obviously not.

And you know what, they're in the gym. Like you asshole, looking back to that kid. Like just cause I was, I would take steroids and be jacked shooting heroin, like, the level of narcissistic traits I conveyed at that time was insane to me. But again, I was so spiritually disconnected that the ego, and for me the ego is so strong, and I've always said an acrimon for the ego is edging God out. When I'm living purely from my ego, I know I'm not spiritually connected.

You are God now. Yeah, yeah. And um… And you'd make a terrible God, all of us would. Oh, horrible. So grateful I just get to ride the passenger seat, you know, I'm just like, you ride. Sometimes I try to take over the driver's seat and I don't do very good and we have to take a detour and I'm like, all right, you can drive back again, man. It's made me a way better coach because it's helped me connect more deeply. It showed the humanness. I think that I, I connect better with people because I think people connect with people, you know how it is.

I mean, when you're, I think some of these clients struggled to connect with jacked really good in shape trainers at first, because they're looking like, what would you understand about me being obese? And it's like, when you can get real on any level, whether it's about addiction or whatever. You know, you're talking a lot about grace. You know, when you coach, when you coach and you work with people, now you have a lot of, you understand, it's funny, I was

talking to my pastor and I said, you know, the way I communicated fitness for soul, once I figured out how to do it right and it was effective, I realized was so aligned with the Christian teachings. And he said, what do you mean? I explained it to him. He said, oh, you're doing grace-based fitness. And it hit me. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. It's funny, you brought up the people in the church on nights they were even though they knew. Pete Yeah. Jared You were on drugs even though they knew, but you kept, and they were just, they were good with you.

And it's like when you work with a client that messes up, what's the best thing you could do? Grace. Grace, hey, look, you messed up. No problem. Let's do this versus the shame and make them feel like garbage type of, which doesn't work. Absolutely doesn't work. No.

And that's, you know, I see that a lot in the bodybuilding competitor coach world. Well, if you want to be unhealthy jacked, if you want to be dysfunctional like that. Yeah. I think one thing that separates the good coaches from the great coaches is not just more knowledge. I think it's the ability to help a client on one side of the coin give themselves just enough grace that they don't spiral into shame and guilt, but just enough grit on the other side to get back on track the next day grace, that they don't spiral into shame and guilt, but just enough grit on the other side to get back on track the next day. Like my good buddy Jordan's side always says like, I always, you know,

he gives no Jordan, he always says, you know, just get right back on track. And my client's like, that's not that easy. I'm like, okay, well, there's a couple of deeper layers to it. Like first off, you've got to learn to give yourself grace, but then subsequently, like shortly after it's like, okay, but the grit part comes in on the other, like, and I think the coaches that can help a client genuinely give them stuff, not just give them a pass, I think it's different

to give a client grapes. You still stay honest. Yeah, look, yeah, I know you screwed up and it's gonna make it harder for us, but you know, here's the deal, everybody does. That's the thing, I've always said the difference in my clients that I've coached thousands of people, or a thousand people in my career

I shouldn't exaggerate thousands is probably an exaggeration and You know the one one of the few common denominators with all the ones who've been successful long term and to me that's also they've maintained Whatever transformation to a relative degree, you know Six nine twelve eighteen months later is that they're not that they didn't fall off It's their ability to get back on track when they did fall off. It's more efficient and effective than the ones who weren't successful.

For sure. And I think there's this misnomer that people look at people who had great transformations, and by the way, not in like six or 12 weeks, like some of these magazines for sure, like it was like a year, right? And that they didn't screw up along the way. And I remember having a client say that about someone she knew

that I worked with, and I was like, oh, that's her story to tell you, but why do you think she hasn't screwed up? Well, look how good she looks. I'm like, oh no, we had some huge, huge fall downs, but it's not about the fall down, it's about the bounce back. And I think that's what good coaches, they're always looking for more certifications, which is important. But if you don't know how to help a client develop those two skill sets almost simultaneously,

then I think you're doing your client a disservice. You're working with a human. You're not working with a computer that you can just input instructions. And you can't hate yourself into better health. And I'm talking all health, fitness, mental, spiritual. You can't hate yourself into being healthier. Hating yourself is the opposite. So it is that grace.

It is that, okay, I screwed up and I did screw up. That's the honest part, but I can get going again. A hundred percent. It's interesting with our business. We do online coaching, but we do Zoom calls with most of our clients, at least every couple of weeks or every week for some of them. And opposed to just an online check-in, and here's the thing, I could make more money because you can stack more clients in one coach's roster, which is doing no touch points other than an email. But that kind of stuff, and you guys know this, like from being in person with people is where I, I'm not saying it's a

prerequisite. You don't have to work with clients in person to be a good online coach, but I sure as hell think it helps. Oh yeah. Like immensely. I think it's a massive disadvantage if you don't. That's what I think. Like just that ability to connect and articulate and know because when you're personal training people, you're sitting down in between sets, I mean you've got an hour with these people. Well how many times do you see the information you need to know without them having to say it? Or a client says one thing and you're reading something else.

You know, you can't do that virtually. And until you get really good at understanding that, reading it, then I think you might be able to do it virtually because you can kind of read between the lines. But if you don't have that experience in person, I don't know how you could do it personally. Yeah. It would be very difficult. Tell me, tell me about Dominic. How's that changed your life? Oh man, it's, I can't even put it into words how much. Was it immediately? Was there was was there a is there a total different version of you from the moment? He was born to I mean my behaviors probably show a little otherwise, but how I felt inside

Yeah, I think there was an immediate shift, you know, he was born in June 15th of 2020, right Just batshit crazy time. I mean, you know, and I remember the, the, the, you know, he was about to come out. Right. And, um, and he, no, he was born and I remember just looking at him was this instant connection, looking in his eyes and I just started sobbing and I went to the bathroom in the, in the, in the hospital. You know, when you had started sobbing, and I went to the bathroom in the hospital, you know, when you had to wear masks, right? And I just had this moment of gratitude, where I was like, holy shit,

I always wanted to be a dad. But when you start doing steroids at 17, like I wasn't working with much sperm, plus the drugs, plus all this, it just wasn't really in the cards. And don't get me wrong, IVF was involved. And I just sobbed. And I felt like something changed inside of me.

And when I came out, funny enough, my mask is just soaking wet. So I take it off. And they came in. And it was just a crazy time. I'm going to tell the story. They're yelling at me to put my mask back on. I'm like, my kid's been born for 20 minutes, leave me alone.

I'm just crying. It changed me immediately, dude. Shortly after, I actually became a single parent and I 50-50 custody of him. I think he's, yours is? Five. Five. So they're close. I have one that's almost four.

He was also born in 2020. Holy crap. Yeah Yeah Yeah, yeah 1114. That's right. Yeah Such a fun age man. He teaches me so much. I'm like, you know, it's interesting. It's really hard not seeing him every day But when I do have him one of of my buddies was saying, he was like, dude, you spend way more time alone with your kid than I ever have with my daughter. Because I have to. And now I'm engaged and he gets a bonus mom and she's so great with him. And I think being a parent, and that's really what helped us kind of get our message in Next Level Nutrition was like,

no, we want to help parents go from average to elite shape without sacrificing that time for the kid, because you can get in great shape, but you know. I mean, I think people would ask me if I were to compete again, and I was like, no, it's crossed my mind, but I know what I'd have to sacrifice, and business would hurt, but more importantly, I know I'd have to sacrifice and business would hurt, but more importantly, I know I'd have to sacrifice that time with my kid.

Yeah, fitness is different than competing. That's a whole other... Yeah. That's a very selfish, different thing. Whole different, yeah. And so I think it's, you know, and also helping parents see that you're not selfish. If you, you know, a couple hours out of the week, put your kid in the daycare. Because I thought that this is back before I had 50-50.

So maybe there was some relevance to it, but I would really beat myself up. Like I can't believe I'm putting my kid in the daycare. Like, oh, but I noticed it became less and less about like, I'm going to not be as jacked. And that's when my perception shifted of it. And I was like, no, I'm a better dad when I do this. I'm more patient. I'm more loving. When I just take that hour to put the oxygen mask on me, I do a quick little workout, so

much more for like mental and emotional health at this point. Then we have a great killer day together. I think that so many parents are such amazing parents because they put their kids so high up on the first tier. But then what do you see? They talk about when you're married, but you don't have kids, your marital satisfaction is really high. And then the family satisfaction might not be as high.

And then you get kids, and it's like the family satisfaction goes ways up, but the marital does. And I think in the same way, like the fitness, like people just, I think it's so important to still prioritize your relationship. Not that I'm a relationship expert, clearly. And then also your relationship with yourself, both spiritually and physically, I think are, if you want to show up as a better parent, like you got to take a little time away.

And for me, I think that's devoting some time to a spiritual practice, whatever gets you aligned, and also to your physical health. How much of, how much do you see of yourself in him? Oh my gosh. Do you see at that point now where you're starting to see yourself? Yes, you see a lot. Yeah, oh yeah, of course.

Well, he looks just like you. Yeah, he's like, he's my little mini-me for sure. Yeah, so cute. Are there things that like, you know, I think about this stuff all the time, right? Like, I mean, it sounds like you had a pretty good childhood as far as what your parents did I think a lot of the things that I'm always thinking about is like what what did I miss or what did I want to implement are there things that you

think about like that maybe you do different than that your parents did or things that you're trying to create or you want him to learn or like what does that look like? You know listen I was the youngest of five my parents were not expecting me. They were done. Like they were great, but they were tired, man. They had like, my oldest brother is about a 12 year, no, 10 year age gap for me.

And it was like almost consecutively, then a short little gap to my sister, and then a three year gap to me. And they were like, oops, there's one more. They just wanted the one girl and they were gonna be done. And I came. And they did a great job, but You know having the advantage

Of only having the one You know, that's it and I don't really foresee any any more in my future I think I do get a lot more, you know, obviously one-on-one time from being a single, you know, like being not Not being seeing him every day, right? I don't know what the right word is, cause I'm engaged, I'm like, I'm not really a single dad now, but like, I'm a 50-50 dad, whatever that word is. Cause she's great with him and helps a lot,

but I'm, I see these things in, and one thing I've done, and at first I kind of felt cheesy about doing it, but every night before we go to bed, I say these affirmations to him. I just said, hey dude, everybody loves you. And then I'll point out everyone that loves him. I said, you can do anything you want in this world,

but you gotta try. And I said, you know, vulnerability's gonna be your asset, not your weakness. And he's like, I have no idea what I'm saying. One day though, it's gonna be his. Yeah, and I just, I try to really instill and I just remind him that he's so loved, he's so capable, and it felt kind of cheesy

when my buddy encouraged me to do it and I was like, oh, okay, I'll try it. And now going on the last two years, I've done it almost every single night before bed and I still don't think he understands what I'm saying, except when I say, and grandma loves you and he goes, yeah. So he understands what I'm saying. Except when I say, and grandma loves you. And he goes, yeah. He knows the love you part.

And I think that's really important to, uh, to speak that kind of confidence into, into kids. And, uh, you know, I don't know if it's going to pay huge dividends, but it's our little routine we do right, right after we closed the book and at night. And that's, uh, you know, I just think. And I'm excited, you know, one day at a time, he never has to see his dad drunk or high, but if addiction, which some people say is debatable,

is anything genetic or hereditary, there's a chance, like he might be like me where he uses, I mean, I had plenty of people I used with in high school that like, you know, they got like fired from a job or like one guy was like, oh, I'm gonna be a dad. And I was like, so? And they're like, I'm stopping. They just stopped.

Like now those dudes like smoke a little weed and drink and go snowboarding and they're fine. Like they didn't suffer from the same thing I did, even though they got addicted to a very addictive drugs. But I'm just gonna tell them about that kind of stuff and like be very open with them. Like, you know, you might have this thing, so ultimately it's up to you,

but you gotta be careful out there. Addiction is much more common than we think in just many different ways. I just read some data, they did some research, TikTok was aware that 34% of their users become exhibit addictive qualities within 30 minutes, the first 30 minutes of using the products.

And the use of our technology, it's big food, people are just, we're just addicted and don't realize it because we function and everybody else does it. But if you really examine it and look at your behaviors, like those are addicted, like why can't I put this phone down or why can't I stop doing this? Oftentimes they're destructive too. Yes. My fiance, probably our biggest fight we fight about is about that device right there, that phone. And you know, I appreciate her holding me accountable

and she said before, like listen, I think you're addicted to your phone. And I rationalized, like no, I just have nine million things going on about it, like what am I supposed to do? Just ignore them all. Like, of course I'm going to be on it. And, uh, but I think there's some truth to what she's saying. And it, you know, at first I got super addicted to fitness.

Okay. Very positive addiction compared, but then you get into competing and everything that comes with that. And then, you know, it's kind of destructive on everyone else's life, but I look jacked, right. And it's like, um, and I've noticed this pattern through my, and I think the phone has been a consistent one, that I'm like, I don't want to admit it

because I have plenty of reasons to justify, but it is, and it's caused problems. It's caused problems with me and her, I mean, just recently. And I think that we need to be super careful. And so I'm actually finally willing to look at it. Like, am I, like like if I just left my phone in the other room for three hours, am I gonna panic? And I did.

And I did. That's a good test right there. And I was like oh where's my phone? I'm like the habit of just picking it up and looking. And I think it's so common and we just, there's a lot of ones that are a lot less destructive and obvious than a gnarly drug addiction. Yeah. Sometimes the worst addictions are the ones that are not as destructive because they're pervasive.

A hundred, a hundred. I think I, you know, obviously we've been talking about, you know, drugs and being addicted to that, but I mean, the thing that we all share in common is coaching and helping people. And I think the extra layer with, um, food that's really tough is that it's socially accepted. Yeah. Like if someone saw you shooting up heroin, they'd be, oh my God, what a loser. Like, so you hide it, you disguise it. You're eating like a box of cookies. Yeah.

You're only doing little bits of it to try it. Like, but if someone, you're sitting down eating an extra thousand calories above your diet, ain't no one saying shit to you. You know, no one's, no one's saying nothing to you about that. And so it's so socially accepted that it adds a layer of complexity when it comes to accepting that you might be addicted to it. It's very obvious to tell an addict

who's shooting himself up, you're an addict because you shoot yourself up every day. That's exactly my point. How many more people die from these not crazy, scary looking addictions than the scary ones? How many heroin overdoses? There's a lot. How many people die from obesity?

A lot more. And so I think the real question you said earlier, it's not the drug, it's you. I think the real question is why are we all so, why do we all get addicted to so many different things? I think it's a bigger question. It's fascinating to me. It is, it is. And I think it's the, I honestly think it's a lack of, I really do, as my research

shows, it's a lack of spiritual connection. And you just, you need that. And maybe people who need it more, maybe you were blessed with a stronger need for spiritual connection, so you just reached more for drugs, I don't know. But it's quite, it's everywhere, look around. So people listening right now, I don't have, but it's quite, it's everywhere, look around, you know, so people listening right now, they don't have heroin issue. You probably got some kind of issue you can't break or you're addicted to, it's not causing you good. 100%.

So it is an interesting thing to look at. You know, on that note, I always said, and I know this is a little deeper than just food, but I think alcoholics, people who are alcoholics, I mean, people get sober and I'll be like, oh, you know, I used to care, I'd be like, what was your drug of choice? And I'm like, I don't give a shit, like you're here, whatever. And they'd say, just alcohol, and I'm like, oh, you know, I used to care. I'd be like, what was your drug of choice? And I'm like, I don't give a shit.

Like you're here, whatever. And they'd say, just alcohol. And I'm like, I don't know if just alcohol, like literally, like I don't walk into the gas station and my drug of choice is just loaded up in a fridge like, and it's socially acceptable. So it takes people a lot longer to admit they have a problem.

Sure. You bring in a, you know, a bottle to a party. Hey. Right. I wasn't allowed at a lot of parties. They're like, dude, you can come over, but do not be shooting up in my bathroom. You will get kicked out.

Right, right. But even with, when you mention that, what's interesting is there will be moments where Jen will say, hey, that's my fiancee. She'll say, hey, thank you for not being on your phone as much lately, especially when we're out to dinner. And she's like, thank you for trying. And I remember thinking in my head,

I wasn't even really trying. And the one difference was I was so much more spiritually connected. Like it wasn't even like, I was like, okay, don't bring my phone in, don't look at it, leave it in the car. I just didn't. And I was like, huh.

And then I started making this connection. So I think these things are in our lives to give us this kind of like warning right okay if I'm back to she's blatantly asked me don't have it at the dinner table and we're eating dinner at home and what did I do last night? Had it out. Checking Instagram responding people doing talk to text like and then ordering clothes and then we had a good little chat and then she got mad and I was like What are you mad about? I was like we had a good chat For ten minutes So it's always kind of a call to action for me to look and be like alright

And you know what I have been a little more spiritually disconnected for this guy for just me Man, I miss him. You know, I like to journal a lot too and write out my thoughts It's kind of like a mini little prayer and I just I brain dump a lot I practice gratitude in a few different ways and even just sharing my gratitude with other people definitely fills my cup spiritually You know, I'll write it down about coming to text him and I'm just like dude not just him grateful for I'm grateful for you Do that one time you showed up for me and like that stuff and then that that's just reciprocated, right? Then he feels it and like then he gives it back and it's just this for me, like I think sometimes spirituality for me. And this the great news is you get to define your own definition is anything that just brings me back to center and makes me feel like at peace.

Joy joy. Yeah. And so that comes from many different forms and religion could be one of them. I always tell people religion is spirituality. You can be playing the same, like if you, they're the same game. They're both football. Spirituality is maybe more like you're going and you're playing a pickup game. There's not as many rules and regulations. Like you know, the other one is like, yeah, you got like refs there and like it's a little obviously not like, you know, blowing the whistle, but it's a little more, but they're

both the same. The essence is to win the game and you can be spiritual and not religious or you can be religious and not spiritual or you can be both. Cause I have people like, Oh no, I hate the church. I'm like, okay, well just find some God then. Like if you don't want to believe in the church, but that's fine. I think if you looking, looking and searching is the important thing. Cause you'll find it. You'll find the answer. It's when you're not looking.

So you, you know, if someone, you ask someone the question or, you know, do you believe in God? Well, yeah, I think so. They don't really think about it. That's when you're in trouble. Yes. But seeking it, like if somebody

said to me, what's the first step to fitness, wanting to become fit. Now there's a right ways to do it, wrong ways to do it, you can overdo it, whatever, but you gotta think about wanting to become more fit first, that's the first step. That's half the battle. That's half the battle. Once you're there, if you're honest and you have integrity

and you really are looking to improve yourself in real ways and you're gonna take a lot of wrong directions, you'll eventually find the right way. It might take you 15 years, might take you 20 years, might take you one year. But if you're looking and you're trying, you'll eventually find, if you stick with it long enough, you'll eventually find it. So I think that's it.

A hundred percent. You know, it's even interesting as I produce content and listen, I'm not naive to the fact that some shit I put out there. I'm like, I'm going to get some shit from this. Like I know this. And I used to really bother me. And I remember a friend told me a quote that just blew my mind. He said, you know, that, you know, their, their, their reaction to you is the reflection of them. Yeah, reflection of them.

And he said, but here's the kicker. Your, your reaction to them. Yeah, your reaction to them is the awareness in you. So how I choose to respond to these trolls is so important. I mean, I shouldn't call them all trolls, they're human beings, but a lot of people aren't even following me, right? And they'll take some low blows. I was like, get a can of Rogaine.

I'm like, I do, assholes. It's still not working. They're like, you should enjoy a can of Rogaine instead. I'm like, I do, asshole. It's still not working. They're like, you should enjoy a can of Rogaine instead. I'm like, I do, thank you. And when I'm able to, sometimes I'll laugh with them, I'll be like, that was funny. They say some funny, one guy said, you look like a big dumb refrigerator

with magnets all over it. And I was like, oh. I was like, the neck cat's like a magnet. It kind of is. I was like, and dude, I was laughing. I was like, and the minute when I allow these people to get under my skin, it is an immediate check for me to be like, what am I not doing mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually? Totally.

Why do they have power over me? Why am I letting this guy rent space in my head telling me that, you know? I mean- It's great. It's cool for us. See, what helps us is that we're all partners partners and so if there's a comment about me, these guys will call it out and laugh about it and that makes it funny.

You know, like somebody, like there was a video I did a while ago and I mean, at this point I feel secure but the guy commented, all he put was weak chest. And these guys, yeah, and these guys are pointing out and I'm like, you know, that's funny. Yeah, I haven't thought about that in a long time and it's funny. And these guys would pull you out. And I'm like, that's funny. I haven't thought about that in a long time. It's funny.

That was all said. I have somebody tell me that bird chest. I'm like, you're not wrong. I was like, I mean, I did tear my pecs. Give me some grace here. But yeah, I think that it's always a good, I think life throws us a lot of beautiful lessons, but I think so many of us are just blind to even look at them. Yeah, 100% that it's always a good, I think life throws us a lot of beautiful lessons but I think so many of us are just blind to even look at them.

Yeah, 100%. I agree with that. Well Brad, thank you for telling your story brother. Yeah, it's great. I really appreciate that. Good having you here bro. Thank you. Yeah, it was a bucket list thing like I said so I appreciate you guys and you know hopefully

the listeners got some value out of that. I think so. I think you're going to reach some people. I really do. So I'm appreciative that you shared that. Yeah, for sure. I promise you there's no matter what you're going through, I promise so. I think you're gonna reach some people. I really do. So I'm appreciative that you shared that. I promise you, no matter what you're going through, I promise you. But it's probably not gonna come with just your willpower. You might need to link up with something greater than yourself, too. Great message.

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