Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 506: Dr. Bhrett McCabe on Confidence, Being Authentic, Playing to Win & Sal, Adam & Justin's Biggest Fear

Episode Date: May 11, 2017

Sal, Adam & Justin interviewed Dr. Bhrett McCabe, the author of The Mind Side Manifesto, a few months ago and enjoyed speaking with him so much, had Bhrett visit the Mind Pump Studio. In this episode they talk to Dr. McCabe about Confidence, Failure, raising capable children in the "everyone gets a trophy" era, being authentic, passion, playing to win and their biggest fears. Get our newest program, Kettlebells 4 Aesthetics (KB4A), which provides full expert workout programming to sculpt and shape your body using kettlebells. Only $7 at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Got a beard? Condition your beard with Big Top Beard Company’s natural oils and organic essential oil blends to make it not only feel great but smell amazing! Get Big Top Beard Company products at www.bigtopbeardcompany.com, code "mindpump" for 33% off. Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts!

Hey Justin. Hey, Sal. You ever noticed how much quieter it is when Adam's been around? It's like this weird like calm. It's so relaxing. I can gather my thoughts. It's so good. Articulate things without getting interrupted. The mirrors not occupied all the time. I'll be honest with all that, I miss that energy. I do a little bit and this month's promotion was Adam's idea. It was. The promotion for... We should keep going with it. We should.

And so here's the promo. This is what happens. If you enroll in one of our top bundles, the RGB bundle or the maps Super Bundle, you will get two t-shirts for under a dollar. So any, you're picked, by the way. It could be a map shirt. Sure. Super California, realistic X-ray audacious. Right. It could be, I don't, by the way, it could be a map shirt. Sure. Super California, realistic X-Fail, delicious.

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Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer and Justin Andrews what you're going to hear in this episode is Mind Pump Interviewing and being interviewed by Dr. Brett McCabe. We've had him on before and we we love his take You know in the sports psychology world. I love to hear him break these athletes minds down and how to better your mind Even if you're not an athlete. He's a sports and performance psychologist and what a lot of people don't realize is in sports in performance psychologist. And what a lot of people don't realize is, in sports, in performance, especially at high levels, the limiting factor for a lot of people

is the mental part of it. So we get into that and we actually get into a lot of things in this podcast. He breaks us down a little bit there at some point. He breaks us down a little bit, which is pretty cool. He got a comfortable. You get to hear another side of us, so it's pretty interesting. He's also the author of a book called The Mindside Manifesto.

He also hosts his own podcast called The Mindside Podcast. And the website you can find this at is www.TheMindside.com. He's also on Instagram at Dr. Brett McCabe. Now Brett spelled B-H-R-E-T-T. McCabe is MCCABE, or you can also go to at the mind side. That's gotta be Irish or Scottish, right? Say the name and word.

Okay, amen. Okay, amen. I need McCabe. There you go. You made it a tie in that first. My bad. Not a tie. So without any further ado,

here we are talking to Dr. Brett McCabe. This guy got introduced to Snapchat today. He's like a, he's like a, he's like a 12 year old guy. So excited. What's the first one he does? The one that puts lipstick and, yeah. That's even stuff.

Of course. You know, I mean, I mean, look pretty in fancy. That's one thing though. Snapchat's one thing I haven't gotten into. You know what? Can I say something now? Yeah, just wait.

It's not easy. It is fucking impossible to understand. That's my point. It is. It makes no sense. Listen to that. So probably, so when I downloaded it, because to me, it's my point. It is. It makes no sense. Yeah. So, probably because I'm old folks. So, when I downloaded it, because to me it's like having way too many baseball cars when I was

a kid, is like a whole nother brand came out, another brand. I'm like, I can't keep up with it. So, I download a Snapchat and my 16 year old daughter is like, how do you find people? Exactly. She goes, you just hit, you know, that thing where it goes into your contacts. I'm like, but I don't want them to know I'm following them or I'm not following them. Right. I don't want them to get an invitation. It's a whole new set of your contacts. I'm like, but I don't want them to know I'm following them or I'm not following them, right? I don't want them to get an invitation. It's a whole new set of operating skills. It's like, what's going

on? So this is, we brought Taylor in. That's exactly what his job is to come in and teach us to be younger. So that's what we did it. We all had to make us hip. We had this little losing our cool fact, this powwow about, well, be 44 and not having it. I mean, yeah. It happens. I like it. I it well, I never had it in the first place. I don't notice anything. You notice I lost it.

Yes, true. But it's usually how it happens. Yeah, you know, you're still wearing the same wardrobe and it's passed. Yeah, that's what's happened. Yeah, I know. We just we get it. Let's get in the psychology.

This is the perfect man to talk about. Oh, that's just the best. We were just discussing this the other day, how what is that that causes us to get stuck in an era? In the decade? Yeah. Everybody does it. Yeah.

And you start, you stop at one point in your life, whether it be in the 20s, 30s, 40s, doesn't matter, everybody gets stuck in an era. That's what it is. They're listening to the same music they were listening to and they're wearing the same shit they were wearing too. What is that? But you know what's crazy about that is, is when you go back and look at pictures when you were a kid of the people you thought were old.

Yeah. And then you look at yourself now and you're older than that person that you thought was ancient. I hate that. Yeah, it happens all the time. I used to look at my mom and think, you know, and now I look back and like, my god, she's the same age I was when I thought she was like old. Yeah, like ancient. Yeah, and I think, I don't know what the phenomenon is called or why the hell we keep wearing the same clothes

and stuff like that. I think it's comfort. I also think it's just people don't want to get out of their comfort zones. I mean, I think that's more of what it is. Is it's, you know, we see a lot of, we see a lot of, we see a lot of, okay, look, when the whole skinny gene fad came on,

I'm not built for skinny genes. So if you see me in skinny genes, then, you know, I'm like some British guy that was overweight and ate too much porridge. I mean, just for skinny jeans. So if you see me in skinny jeans, then I'm like some British guy that was overweight and ate too much porridge. I mean, just let it go. So you know what I think it is? Here's the thing. I think what drives fashion,

because if you look at fashion, I don't know if you guys can get it. This guy's gonna tell us about fashion right now. It's good, let's hear him out. I'm about to educate you. I hope you're recording down. I'm about to educate you. Everybody sit down.

Let's look. Did you guys know that with high fashion, there used to be only a few seasons. There used to be a few or a couple seasons a year. And now there's tons of seasons because they're trying to churn and burn. There's 52 a year. They want you to buy clothes and get rid of the old ones

because the faster they move through trends, the more clothes they can sell. And fashion is really driven by people trying to fit in, people trying to look like, and the way they set trend is they'll have trend setters where typically celebrities or whatever, wear these things. Once you see somebody cool with it on or who's perceived as being cool, that becomes a new trend and everybody thinks it's cool.

And when you get older, you just become wiser and you don't care. You see that, you're like, that's stupid. I'm not gonna wear that. And that's Brad Pitt stops at a truck stop and puts a hat on. Whoa, trucker hats, it's so easy. Exactly. So I just think you get wiser. And that trucker hat had been planted,

but somebody to put that on and just throw it on, like you just got the tags to long it. Exactly. Well, here, yeah, but we, I just never felt like that. We went a little further here because I think that when we're younger, a lot of that is driven by our insecurities, right? I want to fit in, I want to look cool, I want to feel cool.

And so we do those things. Then we hit an age where you go like, oh, then you realize you connect the dots, like, oh my God, I don't need to do this to fit in or look a certain way. And then I remember this, I went through a, like, Levi's and Haynes white t-shirt only closet for like two years, like nothing but white t-shirts and just Haynes. And then I think there's, then I come full circle getting, I go like, well, there is something to be said about

dressing nice and feeling good, like cleaning yourself up, wearing a nice outfit that actually goes together. So I think that you're just still stuck in that and give a fuck here. Maybe, or I feel cool regardless. Mm, you know what I mean? I am cool. You're comfortable in your hand. I am cool give a fuck here. Maybe, or I feel cool regardless. I am cool.

They're comfortable in your hands. I am cool, therefore I am. Yeah, I'm, you guys don't understand. There is something cool about a guy though, or a person who sets their own trend. And at first we look at him and go, God, they're so out there. But then you kind of grab it.

I mean, you get it. It's like it becomes our identity. Well, I'm probably, it's the confidence around it. And I'm just gonna warn you guys, like just so you guys know ahead of time. I'm like it becomes our identity. Mm-hmm. Well, I'm probably- It's the confidence around it. And I'm just gonna warn you guys, like, just so you guys know ahead of time. I'm like one or two steps away from just being naked all the time. So, well, let's just- Don't push that today.

Listen, we're not gonna have any more gas over if you start talking like this. Let's not get that. That's your same seat and your same sofa. No, I said that. You said this one- Yeah, okay, that's great. Or I'm sitting. You know, Brett the last-

You made your way top of that. But you make it hot yoga. Spray yourself down with some mic- Oh You know, Brett, the last yoga, nature top of that. Make it hot yoga. Spray yourself down with some my condom, my condom is all I got. Brett, the last time we talked, I wanted to ask you something. Have you seen the movie Moneyball, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely. What's your theory on meeting a player and judging about his character by his girlfriend? You remember that part where he says that?

Where he says, if his girlfriend's a six, she's not hot. He definitely doesn't have confidence. Yeah, I've heard that. So I've heard that by some college football coaches too. You look at which college football coaches are gonna be better by judging their wives. Because if they're good recruiters, they're gonna have, they're gonna out kick their coverage, right?

Yeah. And they've got closing skills. Yeah, they got closing skills. And it is an impressive thing. I mean, we were at the game last night and the tickets that were left for us at the Giants game were by folks that were, you know, family. And so we're kind of sitting around and I mean, I was doing the same thing. I was looking like, you know, which guys, you know, got married after they were, you know, it and which guys got married to the one that they've been dating since they were.

High school. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, so I think there's some, you know, who's that confidence guy? But you know, the confident guy is usually the one that doesn't really have the most, you know, skill set or in life. I mean, it's always the guy that you look at who are at the bars that picks up all the girls. It's not the one you go, oh god, that guy would be the one to pick up all the girls. Yeah. It's the guy that's got an overcompensate and they end up being successful. Yeah. Let's define confidence though.

Let's define that for a second because you hear people talk about like, oh, that person's so calm. I feel like sometimes it's hard to, it's kind of hard to define because some of the characteristics of someone's confidence can come across as just cocky in someone else. I mean, what does it look like? It's a good question. I mean, confidence, I guess confidence is kind of like how the Supreme Court defined pornography.

You know, when you see it, you know, when you see it, well. You know, when you see it, well. Would you for that? Yeah, that's a real thing. That's literally what they said. I don't know what I see it. Yeah, I know, and I see it.

I can't define in a Larry Flint case. I don't know what it is, but I know it when I see it. I think that's what it is with confidence, because, you know, working with elite athletes, I've got athletes that may sit there and apologize for the success that they have, but when they're in the heat of the moment, they're confident.

Okay, so do we define that person as being confident? I know people who are brilliantly confident in life, but they go into work, they're not confident, and yet they're brilliant. So to me, confidence is this fleeting moment of knowing what you're able to do. To me, I had an athlete and I kind of wrote it out on a board one day at an athlete,

we're talking about how to build confidence and success and the results don't always build confidence. Because if that was a case, then you wouldn't believe you were gonna be successful until you had results, but how do you get results if you can't be successful? Sure. So, to me, confidence leads to belief and belief is the true master of who we are. If you believe in yourself, if you believe in your ability, you can overcome anything.

So belief is, I'm always able to meet the demands of the moment. I believe in my ability, okay? What leads to belief is confidence. Confidence is, I know I can do this when it matters. What leads to confidence is trust. Trust, I can do these things, these individual things, and I know I get consistent results. That leads to confidence, which leads to belief.

Well, how do we trust? Will we be able to plan to get there? And what's the plan come from, a vision? So to me, vision leads to a plan leads to trust leads to confidence leads to belief. But that goes up and down during the course of the time because one of the things that we do is people is once we hit a certain level of confidence, we change the game. We're not comfortable staying where we want to stay. We got to continue to push and we we're moving to new domains all the time. So let's take a look at you guys, right?

So I'm blown away walking into this studio and those are the people who are listening on the podcast I want you to understand this is impressive. Thank you. And you guys have a vision. All right, and You know to me I was I was driving down the road and I'm like, okay, where is this joint? And I walk in and I'm like This is this is sweet like I'm sitting here in my back of my head going How the hell am I gonna build this in my office? Because it's that cool, right? And, but you guys have a vision. It takes a lot of sacrifice to get there.

So when you first started, you probably said, here are my benchmarks that I wanna hit. And you got confident at that. And now it's gonna go to the next one. So what happens in two years if South, you know, what's South by Southwest, whatever it's called, calls you. Because you guys are a phenomenon. There's gonna be a moment where like,

damn right, let's go do it. And then there's gonna be a little thought in the back of your mind going, are we at that level? Because you identify other people and go, they're at that level. But you already are at that level. So that's why confidence kind of waxes and wanes a little bit, because we always change our target. We as people are not content, we don't survive on contentment. If we did, we wouldn't, you know, continue to procreate, we wouldn't grow, and our species

would have not evolved. So when we become content, we stop living. So confidence is always got to be this thing that builds and then it gets depleted. And then you get hungry again and you start going again. You know, I think a lot of us look for false ways of confidence, which is the amount of people we put around us are followers. I mean, look at today's society. It's defined by how many Instagram followers you have.

They're hollow. Right. I mean, it's changing the young ladies market. I mean, women are being defined by their Instagram followers. How many likes they get because of how they look? Do you find yourself speaking to this already? Like, are you having to talk to you? I thought you were going to ask, do I find myself looking at likes

about how I look? No. I've lost that battle every day. No, no, no. I wax up and boil down and I stand in the mirror and take a selfie. Do you find yourself talking? You said that, you should. Speaking to young athletes about this already.

You know, I had a conversation yesterday. We were a very, very successful club with some very successful members. And I said, if you look back at the 1980s, you guys are too young for the 80s. I don't know how old you are. We were babies. We were babies, yeah.

And Doug 70, so he was a... Yeah, he's right there with you. So the 80s was this idea, right, of you can do anything if you put your mind to it and get after. And it was the power of the 80s. Anything is possible, the Reagan era. We are proud to be in this world of cell-blow. A lot of the film it.

Yeah, it's actually the decade. People realize that 80s is the decade that made really modern Americans. What we are. It is. America has become the sole world to the corner. CNN did an amazing documentary called This is the 80s. We are the 80s. Incredible.

It was all about self-fulfillment, but there was this thought of work your ass off, get after it. The American dream, right? And it came out of the World War II, which was the World War II folks, because you remember those were the parents of the kids in the which was the World War II folks, because you remember, those are the parents of the kids in the 80s.

World War II is we defined our culture, we defined our society. The 60s was a lot of pride. The 70s was expansion, and then it came back into, okay, let's build. The 90s was, you know, you can do anything you want if you come up with something innovative. And 2000s was a little bit that.

The generation today is, I can do anything anything and they forgot the other two parts. That's so well said. So because they forgot the other two parts, that's why we've got snowflakes. That's why we got people who get pissed off so easily. They get their feelings hurt when you don't tell them something's not right. Versus going, look, I'm always gonna have adversity. I've got to build confidence. I'm gonna grow and it's working to get to that level. So what happens is we got, instead of people who are dreamers and builders, we got a lot of frustrated, pissed off people

that have no money in the bank and no emotional money in the bank, no confidence money in the bank. And so they walk around frustrated and then they start transferring blame to everybody selling why they got screwed over versus saying, you know what, let me get my hands in the dirt. Now, driving around here and driving up to 80 and 101

and seeing Silicon Valley, it's inspiring to think that these small businesses were created with a plan and now they're world powers. I mean, you feel the sense of innovation here and you see that and you guys are in the seat of that. Now, you guys probably take it for granted because Totally right more so many of these companies are not even 10 years old and they run the world. Yeah, I mean Google hasn't been around that long and It literally Google Netflix Apple we got them all in our back. I mean Facebook all of it. Yeah, it's crazy

But you know what you're talking about you know with the with the decades leading up to the 80s and then you know, with the decades leading up to the 80s and then, you know, coming in now, it's like you have, you know, tough times, you know, the 60s was like this, you know, expansion, learn about ourselves, kind of break free from some of these societal molds. The 70s was excess in that particular regard. We had, you know, our economic system was horrible at the time, which bred the 80s. And it's almost like tough times makes good people, good people bring good times, good times, makes weak people, weak people make bad times. And it's like the cycle that you see. Absolutely. And what we've had from 80s, 90s to now is a lot of good times, a lot of growth, a lot of good times, and a lot of like take that shit for granted. Yeah, well you know, look at the, I mean, I'm not a finance guy, we're not gonna get into finance here, but look at where the Dow Jones is right now. We're supposedly not in a great economic time. It's all time high, and I don't understand.

I mean, we make decisions we refine. I mean, it's the same thing in life. We grow, we grow, we do, we learn, we grow, we do, we learn. The learning is the part that nobody wants to do. Everybody wants to grow, do, succeed, grow, do, we learn. The learning is the part that nobody wants to do. Everybody wants to grow, do, succeed, grow, do, succeed. But if you don't learn, you keep repeating the same problems. And I think mentally or psychologically, that is where a lot of people struggle is.

They fail to learn so they repeat their lessons. Well, you want to say what causes people to grow? It's pain. Absolutely. Nobody grows from comfort and where everything's great, you want to stay what causes people to grow. It's pain. Absolutely. Nobody grows from comfort and where everything's great. You have to go into pain and nobody wants to be pain. So who what was the fertilizer back in the day? You know, before we had it was CalShit. So I always tell people when you when you plant your seeds, you have to push through a lot of crap to succeed. And that's what fertilizer is. You got to push through inches of crap

in order to push through to that higher level. Nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to do that. They want to buy it in a pot already and say, you just give me the one last step to go. And it doesn't matter what brand you're building, no matter what athletic environment you're building, there are those who will do whatever it takes

and are willing to make any sacrifice necessary to succeed. And we continue to see those patterns continue to succeed. But what I'm afraid of is in our society today is we don't see that as a, as the standard we see that as they're just different. But, you know, to me to be successful and to build that confidence and have a vision and a plan is you got to do the uncommon things to become extraordinary. What are coaches having to do with athletes now that's different than 20 years ago? Because now they're dealing with it.

Everybody gets a trophy generation. Yeah. Well, everybody gets a trophy generation as the parents. The kids and because of travel ball and AAU and all these, they're going to play five games in a weekend. So for me growing up as a baseball player,'re gonna play five games in a weekend. So for me growing up as a baseball player, we may play two games in a weekend, but it was a liver die. Now they're gonna play five in a weekend,

no matter if we went three and two. I mean, we won a win, but it's okay. And so parents are cuddling the kids, it's okay, it's okay, you got another bat. You know, you're doing good. And a little bit is, there's a researcher out of around here by the name of Carol Dweck, who coined the term growth mindset.

And said that there are two types of mindsets of people. There's a fixed mindset where people are always trying to prove what they're capable of. And then, you know, so there's a stress and they don't grow a lot. And then there's the growth mindset, which is really one of the greatest words you can use as the word yet. I haven't figured it out yet. In other words, I will. I believe in my abilities, but I'm learning every day. We've become so growth mindset when somebody struggles. We're like, it's okay. You'll get it soon. And so we don't allow them to feel the adversity and the struggle. So we say, move it off. Well, then they go to elite colleges and are playing. And the coach doesn't want to say, it's okay. They want to say, figure it out as soon as you can because I'm relying

on you. And the kids sit there with this attitude of like, why are they being hard on me? But it's because nobody's ever been hard on them. Because what happens if they're hard, mom and dad go to the school and say, coach is being hard. Look, in Alabama where I live, high school football is so prominent

that high school coaches are making significant money and they're being fired after losing seasons. Now remember, they are teachers at a school first, but most of them don't teach anymore. They are in a full-time football coach. Now they may teach a driver's out over the summer, but their job is to be a football coach. Well, they get 10,000 people out of football game, you know, on a good game. So there's this pressure. Well, if the parents don't like what's going, what do they do? They create a movement to eliminate the coach. It's happening in college. Oh, wow. Yeah. And if you get enough parents who are going to the athletic directors and the

compliance department and all that, they can come up. This isn't the bailer situation. That was God awful. And it should be that athletic department should blown up for the rape cases. But we're talking about coaches that may, I mean, I've heard situations and worked with people who've, the coach got fired because their tone with the players was not constructive. Oh my God. Really? Yeah. Wow. And it just builds. And so you turn, you cross one parent, that parent, you know, apathy spreads like a virus. So if I'm ticked off and feel powerless in my situation, and I choose to feel that way,

then I'm gonna try to recruit you. Because it's easier for me to recruit you to see my side than to change my perspective. So I may miss on you, but I'll find you, because you're ticked off about something too. And I may find you, and then all of a sudden, one to three to 10, and all of a sudden, we have a movement now.

And it started from discontent. And so that, once that weighs, with athletic directors and those organizations, unless that coach has unbelievable clout and respect over years, they don't want to deal with it. Because it's just easier to move on. So that parent unwound, and I think parents, they do it inadvertently at first. They love their kids so much that they're actually hurting them. Yeah, you know, I have two kids,

and it hurts me just like any other parent when I see my children fail at something, or try something and not do what they thought they could do, and to experience pain, lose a a game or get a bad score In a test or whatever I love my kids more anything and I see that But I also savor those moments because I know that the lessons with there's lessons within those moments It's an opportunity. I always look at it that way like okay. They just lost the game Perform poorly here's a great opportunity to teach my kid something.

And I actually had this with my daughter, not that long ago, she came home and she prides herself in doing good in her schoolwork and she likes to show me and what she did and she came home and she showed me that she did a test or whatever. She's only in first grade and she got eight at a 10 and she showed me, look, but bye, I got eight at a 10.

You know, that's really good. And I said, do you think it's really good? And she said, I think so. And I said, did you try really hard with this test? And she's like, I think so. I said, did you try your hardest? And she's like, I don't, she was confused. Like, what do you mean?

And I said, do you think you could have got those other two right if you had tried harder? And you could see the wheels turning. And she said, well, yeah, but isn't this good? And I said, if you think it's good, it's good. I said, but don't tell yourself, you tried your hardest if you didn't. And I'm just being honest with her.

I'm not, no, I'm not. Pressuring her or anything. And I just want her to understand that, you know, if you do your absolute best, that's something you gotta be honest with. And then if you get an eight or a ten, then that's fine. But if you get an eight, but you could have done better, be honest with yourself. And if you're okay with that, that's okay.

Yeah. And I've had those conversations with my kids and people cringe, but the reality is, you don't, it's not like you're putting undue pressure on. That's not like I'm saying you're grounded or you need to be a particular way or whatever because it's not a bad thing that she did or that kids will do, but they themselves understand that they can do better if they work harder and that they didn't apply themselves fully, which is okay again, but it don't lie to your kids.

That's what I hate when parents lie to their kids. You watch your kid play a sport and you can obviously tell your kid's not trying. And then they lose and it's like, oh, it's all right, buddy, you gave it a good, don't lie to your kid like telling them, like, look, you lost, because you weren't really trying. I could tell.

You weren't really trying while you were playing. And that's fine if that's what you wanted to do. But what I want parents to understand, though, is, and people who are listening to this, is when you're judging that, don't just judge the behavior. Ask why the behavior is happening. So, are they not trying because they're afraid?

Are they not trying because they don't understand? Are they not understanding, are they not trying because they don't believe in themselves? Are they not trying because they're actually overwhelmed? And one thing I always tell parents is when you're coaching your kids in life and school and anything, be very careful to judge the not trying because it's like I'm open up a MacBook and you opened up too many apps and then you decide to open up I photo. And now you get the circle, the spinning circle of death, right? The computer looks like it's not trying. What's really happening is there are six things behind the scenes that are spinning. And those six things behind the scenes

are spinning so hard that it's working down its ability to engage. And that's what the athletes are doing. So, and kids too, but what you said was so brilliant is, look, as parents, we can't tell them it's okay all the time. It's gonna be, you'll work through this. That's what I want people to tell them. It's not, it's okay.

So in school, if you only make A's, what are you learning? Exactly. There's a problem there. Every one of us knows our instructors. I know my instructors in high school, college, grad school, even my supervisors on residency or internship, they would sit there and I can remember the ones that got their foot up my rear end, told me I wasn't good enough in something, and I can remember the ones that got their foot up my rear end Told me I wasn't good enough in something and I think them for doing that now if they were sitting in this room

Would I be still probably a little elevated heart rate and a little nervous around it? Heck yeah, but that's what makes us better. I mean think about you guys in on yours business in your vision What in the last six months what have y'all screwed up? That you got in better about plenty Let's talk about an example. Let's do something about that. Let's, no, no, no. We literally were just talking about it off air is this, the social media thing.

For us, we're a media company. It's kind of important that we got that down. We're also 35 plus years old, so there's a major disconnect from these platforms. And there's a part of us that wants to say, we don't need it. We're fucking good enough to build this podcast, build this business without it because we've already got enough people

that are listening to us, that are calling us, that are emailing us, and kind of neglected it. And we kind of half-ass did it. And there's now been this realization that we need to focus on this. This is going to be not only a major part of our business, but in the next 10 plus years, it will become necessary for this generation

that's coming up, so we have to learn this, especially if we're going to be a media company. So the steps, the growth that we've had just in the last month. So I'm gonna interrupt you. You just hit me when you thought, probably because I'm drinking that coffee. Good stuff.

It is great stuff and I'm sitting here and my mind is going like 4,000 miles an hour. I warned you. But, it's like, okay, I'm gonna help myself here. Watching friends, the show friends. Everyone watches it, right? You guys did, right? Yes, okay. Totally, totally. Friends and sign fell. Yeah, go back and watch sign, right? You guys did, right? Yes.

Totally. Friends and sign fell. Yeah, go back and watch sign fell. I'm not his hip on his way. No, really. The acting is not as good as it was. But anyway, when you look at how that show evolved, okay, that was an impressive evolution of a show.

That's why it stayed around so long. It's exactly right. They were innovative and they did things differently. It wasn't like they were doing crazy laugh tracks or anything like that. The writing was innovative. And I think that's why big bang theories kicking ass right now too.

It is pushing the limits, but not the limits of launch. It's pushing the limits of what we are comfortable and learning from. But if you go back and look at the early sets of friends to where it finished, it was more visually entertaining, it was more engaging. I think it was an amazing thing to look back. So everybody evolves, right?

But we're talking before we went on air, right, of how these social media platforms are changing everything. Where are we gonna be in 10 years, right? And it's scary for us at our age. I mean, we're about to add a social media and marketing person in our business. Because we need somebody who's got a pulse. What are we gonna hire?

A 14 year old? All right. Because I need to know exactly what's happening in the business because that's our clientele. It's intimidating to me. It is, you know, something you said earlier, really struck hard for me. And you said, you know, and we were talking about kids,

why maybe they're not trying because of fear. And that really hit me because I think that is a bigger issue than we all realize whether we're coming and in adults. And I'll tell you why. I'll use myself as an example. This is why it hit me so hard. When I was in elementary school,

I was always on honor roll. And school was for me was just, it was so unmemorable, so easy. I'd show up and I'd get A's and it was like whatever. So they sent a letter home to my mom and it was, we wanted to test your son for gate. Gate was gifted and something. And they never got one of those.

So yeah. So it was like, my mom was so excited. Oh my God. I applied and failed. They're gonna test you. They're gonna test you for gate. You're gonna take all these like really advanced classes and, you know, we're so proud of you, whatever.

And when I got the test, I was afraid to apply myself because there's, it's one thing to fail when you're not trying because then you like, I don't care. I don't care. There's another thing to fail when you're not trying, because then you're like, I don't care. There's another thing to fail when you tried really fucking hard. And that's scary. Very scary. That is the, that is more. Because you actually failed.

Yes, you actually failed. So, and I remember that distinctly, I distinctly remember failing on purpose because I don't wanna try hard and fail. And that's happened throughout. I've had to challenge myself with that, throughout my whole adulthood. Like, you're gonna play a basketball game with someone

or you're gonna work out with someone or you're gonna do something with someone and you're like, well, fuck this guy or this girl or whatever's better than me. I'm just not gonna try hard because if I don't try hard, then it's okay that I lost or I didn't succeed. Or I'm not gonna try hard at this business, like I totally can,

because it fails, I can always look back and say, and that is huge. Yes, it's massive. And it's almost a fear of success. And I struggled that when I was pitching in college. A fear of success, I was going to have to repeat that level of success every time out. And you're exactly right. People hold back because that hold back is their safety net because they can look in the mirror and go,

but if I had done that, it is hard to look in the mirror and say, I gave everything. And I still didn't do it. And I still failed. And I look back at things in my life, and business, when I left a very successful corporate job, to go back into being a psychologist,

I had this vision of what I wanted to be in the sports stuff, but I wanted to be raw. And I remember telling my wife, my daughter was a freshman in high school. She's now finishing her second year of college, and we didn't have a college plan. I mean, we had kids young, we were in grad school, so we were trying to still put our stuff together.

And I left a very successful job where a lot of my expenses were covered in life. I mean, most of my meals, my car, my car insurance, I mean, health care, and here I am going out of my own. My wife didn't work, and I remember telling her, but I want to invest in, I want to bet on me. And I said, look, if something happens, I could go back to work and find a job.

But I am gonna do whatever it takes, and I tell everybody, I will lick the concrete out there for revenue. And now we're at a spot where I can be a little bit more selective, but I have done things, I'm not gonna say that I'm ashamed of, but I've done things that I look back and go, that was crazy.

But why don't we do that and everything in our life? And it took me to get to that point where something I really, really wanted. And I don't know if I'm going to succeed at this. I don't know how we even define success. But it's just like you guys doing this. It's if you're if you always are holding back something, then you're not being authentic to you in the world. I believe people wear two things.

They wear a mask because they show the world what the world wants them to see or they think they want, we think the world wants to see. Correct. Coffee. No problem. And we also wear a backpack. And our backpack is every burden and fear. We just keep filling our backpack.

So the problem is that what we're trying to display to the world is this perception of what we think the world needs to see from us. We're making an assumption that's not even accurate. You know, that's why when we really strip it all down, we take off our mask and we sit there and we go, I am who, I am me. Yeah.

It's actually where connection happens. That's why in relationships, when we become truly vulnerable to each other, usually after an argument. I mean, that's why the passion is so high after an argument is we're vulnerable, okay? But in our world, we don't wanna take off that mask. If you think about just in your industry fitness,

I know in my industry in the mental game, there's so many masks being worn. Oh, God, it's worse in our industry, I think it's crazy industry in the mental game, there's so many masks being worn. Okay, it's worse in our industry, I think it's crazy. Yeah, it is. So superficial. It's so superficial. And there's so many people that have these businesses that are bigger than they really are.

And I'm not saying that you can't do that, but they project themselves as flying on private jets and doing else, and then they leave the tarmac and then they take the gray hound. Well, what's great is all that is, I mean, up-end-y. The tide is turning with that. And I think that I could even attribute a lot of our success to that simple fact alone that we really had to come out and be honest and challenge ourselves to be vulnerable

like that and let people know the real deal, like the behind the scenes things, like what you really need to focus on. But what did it take when I asked you when we were sitting out there about your business? And you guys are doing this full time. That's why I asked the question is, do you guys still have a training business?

Because I was waiting to see, is this all in or is this just test in the water? Now, I love the fact that y'all are all in. No, we're all in. Yeah, and that makes you hungry. You have to take the mask off because now you can't see fully when you have a mask on. So when we are willing to go all in, now you didn't do it recklessly, you had a plan. But the other backside is these burdens that we carry filling, you know, the perceptions of our parents, our family, our friends, the fears, and the doubts, we carry that and it weighs us down. Look, clear out your backpack, take off your mask and be you. That's what you guys do. That's why you're your media, the podcast and YouTube, it engages because it is you. There are awards. There are mistakes. There are, you know, oh look, that's, let's go back.

But I'm not afraid to leave everything on the table. Well, one thing we did, and we continue to try to do, is number one, we challenge each other. And more, I have grown, I'll tell you what, I have grown, personally grown, more in the last two and a half years that I've been working with these gentlemen than I did in the previous, you know, 20. I mean, I'm not exactly-

I'm not chasing things. And it's two things. Number, the first thing is, you almost have to learn to enjoy the painful growth process and seek it out because if you don't, you constantly run from it. So it's like, oh, here's an opportunity for growth, here's some pain. Okay, cool, I love that. I gotta, you gotta tell yourself,

you love it and go for it. And the second thing is early on, we, and this was not planned. This actually part wasn't planned. This was almost, I hate to say instinctual, but it kinda happened this way, where we branded ourselves, like it's part of our brand. It's part of mind pump to be vulnerable in the make mistakes. And one of the ways we do that is we let our audience constantly know the mistakes we make and what we're planning on doing. We're

doing very little is done behind the scenes where the our audience doesn't know about. And now it's part of our design. But initially we just kind of did it that way. And it's really set us up well to where if we fuck up, when we will, for everybody fucks up, right? They're a part of the process. The understand is becomes a part of our brand and actually helps us. Because I think among all of the other, you know, detriment to wearing a mask in a backpack is if you are that business, if you are that individual that wears a mask in a backpack and you're really good at it

because there's a lot of people that are really good at it. That master wearing a mask is the second there's a crack in that mask and people see through it, your business is fucked. Once you've built up that- And then they just destroy you. They, people love to destroy to do the Lynch mod comes. Do you know how hard it is to make fun of

or poke fun at the three of us? Any of us. It's very difficult because we'll do it first. And we'll laugh at it and have a good time with it. And now we've realized it's actually given us strength because we've started that way. Whereas if you put out this persona all the time, like you see this with fitness personalities all the time,

right? I'm always fit, I'm always ripped, I'm always buffed, I'm always strong, and then they'll be seen somewhere and they're off season and they're fat and they're whatever or they're working out and they're moving like shit and somebody will catch them on camera or snap it. And next thing you know, that chick goes viral and it's ruined their brand.

There's one gentleman I can't remember his name. He puts that persona of being this tough macho buff good-looking super great guy And I guess he was coming off off an airplane and he had his hat off and he's got like this total receiving hairline And it's picture and that shit went viral and people making fun of him that wouldn't have happened Had he let himself be vulnerable be himself from the beginning, but it's because he created this false. Oh, I mean, we've been teasing about my, my, my thinning hair since the first day. Right. I got it. So, here comes. So when you call it out like that, I mean, that was, that is a lot of mind pump raw truth, but I also think that that is going to be where

everybody is going to have to go in the next 10, with all this ability to connect to us. Well, how hard is it to wear a mask? Okay, well, it's, it's, well, we just find new and innovative ways to do it. Yeah, that's true. Okay, but the truth is our environment has no control over us unless that we give it that control.

Now, I know we all hear the thing, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I mean, I work every day. I work at getting better. I work at trying to be the best that I can be. So I'm working every day. I'm never off.

And, you know, I hear people say, if you just love all this prosperity comes to you. Yeah, I mean, I'm the same. I'm the same. Yeah, the secret. You know what the problem with the secret was. Tell me what the problem was. Fuck you. Yes. Here's the I'm the same. I'll win. Yeah, the secret. You know what the problem with the secret was, tell me what the hell was fucking you. Yes, here's the problem with the secret.

Everybody loves it. It was the law of attraction. It wasn't the law of doing. Everybody went out and bought this book. You're right, that book. Yeah, the law of doing it. Yeah. You know, step one, nobody would buy it.

Find your goal, step two, work to it. Nobody would buy it. Nobody would buy it. Nobody would buy it. It reminds me of the joke. The man never cries, work. It reminds me of the joke of the guy who's like, he keeps praying to God and he wants to win the lottery. And he prays and then he prays and prays and prays.

And then God finally, he's talking to God and he's like, God, and I've been praying to you forever to win the lottery. What the fuck, man, I haven't won anything. God's like, you gotta buy a goddamn lottery ticket. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that's the secret. There's like, it's gonna come to me if I attract this.

Look, I'm a spiritual guy. I was raised Catholic. I believe in spirituality. I believe spirituality is the step beyond religion where you don't ask, I love organized religion. I don't personally attend an organized church right now, but to me, religion is when you go, you ask the question and somebody gives you the answer.

Spirituality is knowing to ask the question on your own search to find your own answers. And I think when we get to, we're not gonna go that way in this podcast, but to me that's what we're all about life, right? So the secret is, I'm gonna attract it. I think what missed in the secret, maybe the message was in there and it was missed, was when people are in love with what they do, and they're committed to growing, they become

magnetic, because they're asking questions to other people. They're learning from great leaders. They become attractive to others because they're on a constant thirst. Nobody likes to hang around with a know-it-all. Everybody loves to hang around people who have similar interests that are in similar mindsets, who are wanting to learn and hungry. That's why incubators work.

That's why Silicon Valley has so much innovation because there are people... You're surrounded by it. You're surrounded by innovative people who are asking questions and ripping the mask off for the most part and saying, these are the warts with our business. Help me figure out this policy.

And to your point, I mean, look at what we do with our celebrities. They're Photoshopped and made up so perfectly that when they catch them walking the streets, there's an entire show of TMZ about it. Right, yeah. And it's what it's showing is, oh my God, she's not wearing her

spanks today and she got a little jiggly going on. Right. And everybody's freaking out. And the next thing you know, poor thing is having to restrict eating just to maintain this image. Well, I think it's hard. And this is just human psychology. Maybe you can, you can help me on this. But I think it's hard to truly understand how many opportunities you create for yourself simply because you're in a state of where you're passionate about what you're doing. And we can use sports. If you're swinging a bat at a ball, the odds of connecting go up if you get more pitches

thrown at you. It's just the bottom line. Well, if I'm passionate about my business or I'm passionate about this growth or this whatever goals I have, I'm more likely to talk about it throughout the day. I'm more likely to connect to people who maybe have information that is related to what I'm looking to do. I'm more likely to meet people who may have influence in this particular field. And so really what's really happening, and it's black, it's very basic is I'm just getting

more balls pitched to me. I'm just, it's just more opportunities and then when something happens, we're like, oh my god, it's serendipitous, it's like magic. No, I mean really the reality is, you're just giving more, getting more opportunities because you're following what you want to do and and everybody can relate to this. When you're passionate about something, you tend to talk about it and think about it a lot. I mean, you get annoyed on people's nerves about it. Yeah, absolutely. But to your point about how many doors you got to knock on

in order to find the one that is your magic door. We see overnight successes, but we forget as there's a tons of sleep nights and overnight successes. And there's very rarely as somebody ever, I mean, Pamela Anderson maybe was picked up off this at a football game, where all of a sudden they said,

you're gonna be the next superstar for modeling. I mean, this is 25 years ago. That doesn't happen. And there's a vision to me, great people have a stubbornness that is unremitting. The stubbornness is not stubborn about what they're doing. Well, there is that. I mean, there's some media consultant came in and said,

you all got to change what you're doing. You got to do this. You all would probably say, that's not our vision. Now, help us, but don't change us. That's fine. You got to be stubborn to what you're vision is. We fired three companies before Taylor. Really?

Yeah, yeah. My point. And the stubbornness is not about being stubborn to say you can't take feedback. That's a mistake. The stubbornness is, I am never going to give up. And what information, what thing in this environment am I going to allow to control my innovation, my interest, my motivate. When we start giving power to our environment, then we're lost. We become within a hurricane or a tornado. I mean, we're just, we're at the power to our environment, then we're lost. We become within a hurricane or a tornado. I mean, we're just, we're at the will of our environment.

When we believe with a deep-seated conviction of what we want to do and we're willing to grow and be hungry and bring people in, then that's why they grow. And that's why we're successful. I mean, LeBron James, make go down as one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He's truly innovative. But when he was first up, he was a shooter from the outside and a driver. He didn't know how to post up.

So when he had a mismatch and was up against a smaller guy, he lost his advantage. So he spent an entire summer with a chemo-lazouan and said, teach me how to post up. So that dude with the greatest tools in the world went and found another tool. My God. Right. So why are we looking for physical gifts all the time?

It's what I call capacity. Can you meet the demands of the moment? And very few people have the balls to let it out and not worry about proving their underlying ability. That's called capability. Very few people are willing to sacrifice that discussion to say right here, right now, this is what we're living for.

And I'm willing to do it. I may not be 100%, but damn, I can give 100% of my 90. And I can meet the demands of the moment. Well, what do we have to let go of to do that? Fear. We have to have a lot of conviction of what we want. We have to let go of social acceptance. We have to let go of a lot of things.

Now there are steps that you can do that'll help you with this. One of the things that I learned recently, and you hear this all, it's funny too, because you'll learn things that you kind of knew or heard, but you never really got, and then one day you get it, and you're like, oh, well, that's now I understand. We all hear the whole, the journey of a thousand miles

begins with one step, and most of the problem, or the stress stress or whatever that you're dealing with has to do with your own self and your own mind. And the actual thing you're stressed about isn't nearly as difficult or stressful as you think. And I don't remember where I was hearing this. I think it was, it might have been a POW or someone who was talking about, like how did you get through that period of time where you were just in this horrible conditions

and he said, well, I broke everything up into hours. I can survive anything for 60 minutes. If I think to myself, I'm gonna be here for five years, I mean, that's ridiculous, it's daunting. Or if I'm gonna run a marathon, and I think of 26 miles, but I know I can run half a mile, so I'm gonna run a half a mile at a time. And I started applying this.

I just recently went through some very difficult times, kind of one after another, and I started applying that. And instead of looking, oh my God, this is gonna take two years to work out or organize. I just started breaking things up into weeks and days. Like, okay, today I'll do this, and today next day I'll do this. And before you know it, you've gotten there, and it's really, you start to really realize how much

of the difficulty in the things that you do are just, you created them. You create, I mean, and stress is a real thing. We all need to have stress. Emotivates us to do certain things. But when that stress becomes a cycle of worry, and you start to suffer from it, you start, you're suffering and just thinking about this thing over and over again and you're not moving forward, that's when it becomes a problem. Well, and the reason it does that is because we give power to it. We give power to the things to impact us. And when we feel out of control is when we feel powerless. So it's a little bit of a cycle. But in life, if you go, that is a demand that

I need to meet. That's what's called stress. Stress is an external demand or internal demand being placed on us. We don't know what we can handle until we fill up our dump truck. And so I always use an example for my clients and athletes. Stress is how we know as a bridge, it's over a big, you know, crevice, right, a big canyon. And it has a weight limit. And that's great. They build it. Trucks go over it. No problem. When is the stress going to hit that? Well, we're not knowing until we overload it. And we find the cracks. Then the engineers come in and say, we need to reinforce this. We need to reinforce that. If we looked at stress that way and said, look, stress will always find the crack. Water will always find a crack in us.

that way and said, look, stress will always find the crack. Water will always find the crack in us. So under stress, we'll identify our areas of improvement. If we can take that just like you, you found a new way to persevere versus feeling powerless, you found a strategy, a coping mechanism to push through. That is something that will help you in times because we go in cycles. So there's times that we're flying and there's times that we're crashing. And if you don't learn how to overcome these, then we repeat those patterns because you have to learn the strategy.

And the strategy's yours. I can't use your strategy. I gotta find my own. Now I can say, I know that work for you. Let me investigate it. But if you don't put your own stamp on it, then what you don't do is you don't know how to manage your own stress.

So stress, I want people to look at stress is, man, that's a gift. It is an absolute gift. It hurts terribly, okay? We know the long-term effects on stress on the human body. It's well-documented. It enhances just about every medical condition. It amplifies the suffering that comes with it. It shortens lives.

Okay, so we'll get out of that part. But it also allows us to go back and find what we need to do. Most of us try to add things under stress. Sometimes we need to eliminate. We need to eliminate people who are sucking the energy off of us. We need to eliminate the tasks that aren't proven what we need it to be.

We need to reinvest in ourselves and that's taking control back and power back. And this is why the fitness industry, because that's our field, right? And I was, I can connect it very strongly with what you're saying to the industry that we've all worked in for so long. This is why the fitness industry has done such a poor job of solving the health problems that we're suffering in, we're suffering in modern societies. If you look at, obviously, which is American as example, and we look at the obesity epidemic and the diabetes epidemic and the autoimmune disease epidemic, and children now are displaying

diseases that were only adults got. And by the way, this has only been over the last 30 years. I mean, before the 1980s, I think it was children didn't get type two diabetes. In fact, it used to be called adult onset diabetes. That was a name of it because it happened as an adult. Now we have kids have it and they change the name. Anxiety is another one. You look at 4% of Americans were diagnosed with anxiety in

1980, today it's over half. And you look at all these problems and the fitness industry grew along with it and it's done nothing to help it. And the reason why it's done nothing is it's not empowered people at all. Oh no. If anything, it's taken power away. We market to insecurities. We poke at the insecurities to get them to buy things, knowing damn well that they're not going to succeed,

that over 85% of them are actually going to fail. And we don't give a fuck because we're getting the money. And so when you look at money, you might have people not showing up. That's how gyms work. That's how, yeah. One of the more boxes, yeah.

I want to sell a bunch of memberships we don't want you to show up because it's crowded. And that's crazy. It is crazy. And to your point, anxiety is spiking in this country. And it's spiking because we never have, we're never off. These smartphones are constantly,

if you go on vacation, you need your phone. But what's in your phone? Your emails, your tasks, your messages, everything. So you can't turn off, right? We feel powerless to things. Power is the source, everything. So you can't turn off, right? We feel powerless to things. Power is the source of everything. So I'll give you a very simple clear example of that. So I have terrible navigating abilities.

Terrible, like he does. You could put me, I could, on the God, I will get lost walking out of our own gym. We almost went to Mexico one time. Yeah, it's horrible. it's it's horrible and so You're just trying to get your boat late so I don't right navigation I'm confused you know the new the nav on your phone. How are we going is brilliant for me because I don't get lost But a couple times and I get anxiety over I get anxiety over getting lost as I always get lost

Recently I went to a couple places and I said, you know, I got my phone there just in case something happens. I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna find my way on my own and see if I can remember. And I did, I actually got there, I actually paid attention, I got there. But the feeling I got from it was so,

I felt so empowered. Yeah. I felt so good about it. Now think about that, you go on vacation, you have your phone with you, everything's planned, you got all these emails, yeah. What if you just shut off for a second? And then a day later, you're like, wow, everything, nothing fell apart. That's the only benefit I see of a cruise. I mean, there's other things, oh, I don't like a cruise, but that is one when you're out at sea. I mean, you can't get your stuff. It's awesome.

But then the anxiety starts building as you're getting closer to port because you're going to turn it on. Oh yeah. Right? But that's, it goes back to our conversation about parents and kids. You remember that thing about, you'll get through this.

You're not gonna get over it, and it's not gonna be okay. When that kid, that youth athlete, and whatever it is in life, you make a 60 on a test, and you come back and you rock the next one, because you figured out a plan. That is empowering. And people start realizing figured out a plan, that is empowering.

And people start realizing, wait a minute, I can control my destiny, I can influence it. And we get so caught up on the hurt and the pain versus the build. And it's why I love the stories that you often see on like ESPN, 360 or whatever, and they're telling these great stories because those are just nothing about building and people identifying

these fears in their lives. And then they knock it out of the park and you're like, rock on because they're human. You're cheering for them. You're cheering for them. You know, and so to me, it's almost like we should have every business should have a whiteboard in it with our screw-ups. And leave them up on the board and remember them. And that way you look at them and go, and we'll pee on them. And pee on them. Yeah.

That was not a feel right there. It makes the market's territory. Yeah, it's a feel. You know. No. Yeah. So you got to look at that and go, I know where I came from. I know where I came from.

Yeah. And I know where I came from. I know where I came from. And I know what I learned from it. But sometimes that scares the living crap out of me. Because if I see those and I've overcome them, what's around the bend? That's why you don't like getting lost. You don't like that feeling of not knowing where you are, but to use that zen, there you are always there.

When you found your way, you realized, okay, I'm not as bad as I think I am. And I can figure it out. I mean, what do I always do? Well, here's something that we're running into that we've run into now a few times. And maybe you can help us with this. Actually, I've been really happy when I knew

you were coming here because this was something I knew you could probably help us with. As we started, now we've all been in the industry, fitness industry for a very long time. So this has been a long road. And when people, it's not an overnight thing. No, I don't believe in that. You know, it's like, there was many overnight. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I own my own business

for, you know, since the age of 22 and, you know, mind pump was the first one to really make it happen in this particular industry, but it's been a culmination of all that. And the same thing, you know, I can speak for these guys that I know their history as well. But something that's happened to us is when we first started, this business with this vision, we went after it, unabashedly, and then we got some success

and we found ourselves in situations, and luckily they were short because we're very good at catching ourselves. But they'll happen where instead of playing the win, we start to play to not lose. Like, oh shit, all of a sudden we've got this thing now. We can't be, we can't be as like, as you know, innovative and aggressive. And we can't be our true selves as much as before, because that's kind of risky.

We got to protect what we just built. And then we catch ourselves and we like, fuck that. Like we got a brand new audience that we just absorb. We can't scare them off right away, we're being ourselves. Yeah, and it becomes this like battle now, I've noticed this with us, is that we go through these growth spurts and it becomes this battle of, are we playing to win, or are we playing to not lose? It's like that boxer, oh, 100%.

And the ring, and he's just running around because he thinks he's ahead on points and he doesn't want to fight because God forbid he gets punched. I'm going to say, maybe other. Yeah. But that's, you know, when you're jumping on a trampoline and you get to the very top, there's that moment of like kind of fears you start coming back down. Like, you're getting this weightlessness point.

It's like, oh my God, it's just a momentary thing. That's what happens. You know, when I use an example a lot of people who've climbed Mount Everest, and it's something I'll never do. I mean, I'm no interest in taking 10 weeks of my life and still on the side of a mountain, and I'm not gonna do it.

But they don't just climb to the top. They go up, they come back down, they go up, they come back down, they go up, they come back down, they go up, and they keep pushing to reoclimatize to the oxygenation issues and the body demands, and then they start building up that strength. Now these are people who've been fit for nine months a ton of extremists.

I actually didn't know that's how that works. Yeah, they have to get acclimated before they can do the whole course. Makes a lot of sense. It makes total sense. I just never even thought about that. Wow. It's a long process.

So it is, that's why it takes nine weeks. And there's a guy in Birmingham that I've interviewed on my podcast, Kent Stewart, who has climbed, he's been on the mountain three times, and he talks about that. When you first leave base camp, you have to go through the Kumbah Ice Falls, which is an active glacier. And he's like, falls, it's like you fall if you make a mistake, I mean, like to your death. So every day when you leave base camp, you got to check in a moment of like, I'm going

to go through one of the dangerous, most dangerous places ever. You go up to base camp, you know, to a moment of like, I'm gonna go through one of the dangerous places ever. You go up to base camp, you know, to camp one, then you turn around and you go back down. And you keep doing that to build up the ability. Well, that's what success is. So if I'm working with an athlete, we all wanna be, you know, in the far right, and it's same with business.

I wanna take over the world where you're not ready. You're honest, some people do it, some people win that lottery, and they quickly figured out, okay? They're gonna have to learn do it, some people win that lottery and they quickly figured out. Okay, they're going to have to learn the lesson at some point. But most of us have to go and fall, go and fall, go and fall. But what we're actually doing is growing, the regression line is definitely going up. But what's happening is when we fall a little bit, we don't fall as deep and we don't

fall as far and we don't actually fall for as long. And then we, up we go again. So for you guys, for me, when I started, I did the exact same thing and I still do. I don't wanna lose this client base. I don't wanna lose this one client. And I'll sometimes work harder to keep the client and then give them everything I've got.

Because I'm afraid to lose them, but I never think in my mind why could get another client? And when did I learn from that client? That's often what I have to ask myself is, when I'm working to lose them, but I never think in my mind why could get another client? And what did I learn from that client? You know that's often what I have to ask myself is, what I'm working with this team, what did I learn about me? I worked with a very talented golfer on the tour who challenged me every day and it was a challenge and the kid is very successful. I'm very proud of his success and we have a good relationship, but he challenged me. And what I realized is never sacrifice what I believe, because he was very good at finding the areas that you lacked during the most confidence.

So he was very good at it. And it was just, it was a way he adapted, is he would push you until he found an area where you weren't as confident and then you kind of attack. So what I found is if I'm on the defense, he'll find it every time. But if I'm giving them everything I got, if it's not good enough, so be it. And I learned a lesson and I remember sitting down with my wife who runs my business. She's like, look, you have got to give them what they're hiring you for. And if it's good

enough, it is. If it's what they want, wonderful, if it's not, they'll go somewhere else. Same thing with you guys, you don't have to win everybody in this marketplace. Right? Because and I get caught up on that. I mean, last, yesterday actually, I was hit in social media, and I, for some reason, tend to be a source of some sub-tweeting, and it pisses me off. I mean, it like hurts,

because these people, one don't know me, they don't ask my questions, and I say what I believe, but I'm also not, I also have this underneath, I'm just a soft kitty. The fact is I, I, I want people to like me. Okay.

I want to be accepted. I mean, that's what we all want. And when I see it, it upsets me. And then I see certain folks in this field kind of grouping together. And I'm like, why am I not asked to do that? Right. You know, I've got unbelievable credibility. I think I do a good job.

I've got tons of elite athletes, but do a good job. I've got tons of elite athletes, but I don't share who I work with. So nobody knows. I don't go out there and say, I walk by this guy in a gym. And now I'm his mental coach. That happens a lot. And so to me, I start lacking my confidence. And it hurts because I sit there and I'm like, what the hell am I doing wrong? But then I sit back and I go, wait a minute here. I'm doing damn good work. And it doesn't matter what they think, what matters is what my clients think and what matters is what my wife thinks and what matters is my two daughters think.

And most importantly, who matters the most is the man and the mirror. And I can't lie to myself in the mirror. And if I look back and say, have I done everything I possibly can back to that earlier question? Probably not. Or have I? Yeah, I have. If I can sit there laying on the ground beaten up, but at least I know I gave everything, I can live with that.

And that insecurity, that's what we have to, so I'm trying and every day of my life to figure out how to do that better. We'll push, well that's what you guys are doing. Well, and I had that experience a long time ago, managing large teams and health clubs, where I think everybody wants to be liked, right? Nobody doesn't want to be disliked. And I asked myself, like, why do I want to be liked

by all these people? And I really dove deep into that. And I realized that if I'm not being my true self because I'm trying to get someone to really like me, then they're not really liking me anyway. Well, that's a mask, I like the mask. Right. So to me, there are, and I wrote this in the book,

there are three drives in every human. The need for accomplishment, the need for social acceptance, the need for stability. Okay, so we're driving. If you really look at your life, those are the three drives besides sex, food, and shelter. Let's take those out. We all want accomplishment. You guys are doing this because you want to build something.

I mean, I would think you're vision. I know of talking to you and seeing it, I get it. You want to make a dent in this industry. You wanna provide a service that there's a gap. You wanna be, you wanna sit back at some point when somebody comes and embies you out, probably, and go, damn guys, we did good. We accomplished this.

But you know what will happen, right? That clock will tick, that clock will tick, and then you'll go, you wanna do something else? Yeah. Because once you do it once, it's not enough. Yeah, my girl reminds me every day. I know. She, I always tell her, honey, we're right there.

We're almost there. Honey, we're almost there. She just laughed. I don't know where she is. She just laughed at me. Yeah. We all want social acceptance. That's what social media is about.

The power of a like actually is unbelievable. Oh, it's ridiculous. One of the biggest fears, I think one of the top dopamine. Three biggest fears of all people is public speaking. The most, one of the safest things you could possibly, not gonna get killed, but it's the number one fear for most people

is to get up and speak. Oh, it's being rejected by, you know, massacres. People you value. It's hilarious. Yeah, and that's why we want this subject. It's subjective. We're social creatures. If you want to break a human, isolate him. That's what we see in bullying and that's why we want this subject. It's an exception. We're social creatures. If you want to break a human, isolate them.

That's what we see in bullying, and that's what we see in shunning. In fact, isn't that considered like a cruel, an unusual punishment? Oh, absolutely. Convention banded. Oh yeah, 100%. And so when you look at what we do with violent offenders

in prison, they put them in solitary convoyant for 23 hours a day, and then they wonder why they're violent. Right. Yeah. I'd go crazy. They get an hour outside in the sun. If not, they're just communicating with people that they're picking out all day long.

And the last one is stability. We function extraordinarily well in chaos as people. And we're always trying to find our stable pathway. But we want predictability. You want to know, we want to know what are you guys going to make in October? What are you going to make in January? I don't predictability. You want to know, we want to know what are you guys going to make in October? What are you going to make in January? I don't want surprises.

But yet, why when we first see chaos, we go, oh my God, we actually go, okay, I got it, I got it. I found my pathway through, which is stable. So that social acceptance is critically important. And that's why you, I mean, you guys don't want to be the maverick jerks of the industry. That's not what your message is. Your message is bringing, you said it very clearly,

finding great people who have great content who don't know how to do it. And you're gonna bring that to them. Some people choose to be the A-hole. They want to be the antagonist. They want to be the guy that knocks down everybody else. And through that, they create a little social acceptance because they create a standing.

Right. But, you know, I look at you guys and I go, this is, I mean, you've got to have some social acceptance. But what do you do? Eventually, you're going to start saying, well, I want acceptance from these people. I mean, my fans are great, but I want to be accepted by, you know, XYZ and the industry.

I have no idea. We, I mean, more than anything, what drives us more than almost, of course, we're all entrepreneurs, we're businessmen. We like success, we like accomplishment, we like challenge, we're definitely crave challenge. But really, the things that we share behind the scenes where we will send these messages to each other

is when we see the impact that's made on everyday people. We'll get messages from God. I used to beat myself up. I used to starve myself, or I used to eat this particular way, or I used to have this horrible body image issue, or you guys really changed my life. I'm accepting of myself. My relationship to food has changed now because I love my body and not because I hate my body. Like these are the, these are the stories that when we hear it makes me feel, it makes us

feel very, very good and passionate about what we're doing. So let me ask you this question for the three of you. When you get those messages and you share them, you'll sit back in your chair for a minute and there's a, there's a glow. What comes next? Oh, more, more. Passion for gracious. Yeah a minute and there's a glow. What comes next? Oh, more, more. Passion for gracious.

Yeah, drive. Let's go again. Yeah. And that's why it's so important. I mean, that's what drives you guys, right? I mean, it's making an impact one person at a time, one person at a time becomes your tribe, your tribe becomes your mass,

your mass becomes your, your raving fans. So that's also why one critique hurts. Oh, yeah. I remember we all got our first one. We all had a, what was it? Uh, somebody, what somebody left a review. So we have, this was a, this was the only day. It's very, very messed with you. Yeah, you mentioned this on air, which was, it's, it's, it's awkward. When we first started, it was awkward. No, it was good though, dude. It was good that he did. Well, no, I, I admitted that it hurt my feelings. I said, hey, you know, this was,

and I knew when we first started off, I kind of played the antagonist out of the three of us. I tend to poke and prod and say the shit that's off the wall, off the wall a lot. So I come off as the guy who can kind of be the asshole, right? And I'm okay with that, that, that role in this, the three of our personalities. And I actually had somebody who like, like, they wrote a long old review, and it was like complimenting the actual show, but then it like singled me out of like not liking me. I think the part that was hard about that was like,

they didn't just hate, they said, you know, Sal's's great Justin's great. I don't like Adam. Yeah, and that was really for him Yeah, cuz it wasn't like they were attacking the show or what we do or what I'm okay with that It was like it was a personal attack on my personality and it was really I can't remember the exact things We've had over a thousand reviews right and literally out of the thousand I think we have 990 like seven that are five star and then this was like this one like not five star review and they they wrote this and said that and I and I had to like whoa I was like well I can't believe that that hurt my feelings like that I allowed that to and so I felt and that's something about that this show that we try and stay very real and raw and be as transparent as possible and I I said, man, that, wow, that hurt my feelings.

It hurt my feelings that somebody who doesn't even really know me because they've heard some episodes and I talk a certain way or I didn't, they liked my other two co-hosts not me and it actually hurt my feelings. So that was a major growth. Did you change? No, I didn't change who I was.

What I mean, because you have thousands of M1 hearts. Yes. Isn't that crazy? I get it. 100%. It's crazy, right? And I would, if you would have told me that that was going to happen before,

I would be, no big deal. I would tell you that I wouldn't think you'd be dealt. When it actually happened, I was like, whoa, that actually got me a little bit. That actually, it bothered me because they attacked my character. And I think that's my pride and my ego getting in the way that I want people to know that, man, I'm a really good guy. Actually, I got, I care a lot about people.

I do a lot of good things for people. So for someone to attack my character like that, it really hurt my feelings. So I had, but it was good that it happened early on. You didn't go to your safe space or anything, did you? No, no, no, no, no safe space. We knew him a furry stuff, yeah. A furry stuff animal and crayons.

But it was, it was, I, you said something that I love that, and I don't know, I forget where I read this, but you know, being comfortable with being uncomfortable, and I really seek out those moments because like you said, those are your moments of growth. And if you're, I always like to look at every state change. So we've been talking a lot about like negative stuff, but even positive, like I'll evaluate

why I got really excited about something, or why I got really happy or joyful, or I laughed about something that was, any sort of state change. And then of course, if there was something that made me feel a certain way, and instead of like, oh, angry at this person, instantly I think back like, whoa, why did that bother me?

Why did I allow that? So, before we went on the air, you were talking about, and I was checking my phone, so I kinda heard what you're talking about, but the fish that grows the size of the bowl, right? Yeah. So that's what I call the goal fish effect.

So, we, the human mind is very much like a goal fish bowl. You buy a goal fish at Walmart or whatever. You put it in a five gallon fish bowl and then you're gonna grow out of it. It's never gonna jump out, it's not gonna hit the side. It don't even hit the side of the thing. It just goes feed mean, it comes up at feeds, but it regulates its growth based on the size

of its environment. You put it in a bigger bowl, it does the same thing. And I always joke that if you put it in a pond outside of a Japanese restaurant, it becomes a koi fish. There's some of me I'm sure on your podcast or mine is gonna sit there and say, okay, no, theoretically, truthfully, after business.

It's an analogy people get over it. Okay, but it grows to larger fish. Our minds do the same thing. If all we think is we could be is this big, that's all you're gonna be. Nobody's gonna come pluck you out of the thing and say, look, you don't believe you should be a starter or you don't believe you should be on the main stage,

we want you to do it. Because it's like you never bought the lottery ticket. Right. And that goldfish bowl, so we have to shatter our fish bowls. And get out of our comfort zones because what we actually do is what we define as our comfort zone is actually one step inside of it. Because we never, it's like the dog that's got

the electric fence. It's not gonna go find the barrier after it's been shocked a few times. That's natural and inclinations, we're gonna keep resisting. And I find myself doing it too. You know, you get a bad review or a coach, you know, I work with, it's like,

yeah, I'm not dig and bred, doesn't work. And I'm like, I ruinate on it. I can't let go of it, because I'm a people pleaser. And it hurts that I've let somebody down. I go back and say, did I give them everything I had? Yeah, I did.

You know, I mean, I've given talks or sometimes, you know, you get moving fast and you say something and you're like, oops, didn't mean to say that. And it's like, oh God, I hope they don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I hope I didn't offend anybody, but I do it with passion. And that fish bowl, that fish bowl, so damn comfortable.

You know, I think we forget that we, as humans, we are driven by some of these similar primitive instincts that we see in other animals, are just far more complex, but like circuses when they would have elephants. Oh, the elf, I was thinking of that. People don't, I mean, people don't know this, but one of the when they would have elephants. Oh, the elf, I was thinking of that. People don't, I mean, people don't know this, but one of the ways they would train an elephant is when they're young, is they would chain them up with heavy chains.

Right. And this elephant would fight and fight and fight to free itself. And over time, and you'll see this if you ever look at these, like, you don't have any these circuses here in America, but these terrible countries will have them. You see these massive elements, elephants, and they're tied down around one ankle on the skinny rope. And you think yourself, like, that elephant could break that rope at any moment. Any time.

It is now been, it's a limit with a condition. It's a limit within its own mind. And this happens to us as humans as well. Far more complex, but when you realize that the size of your mind or your consciousness, or whatever term you wanna use, if it's the size of a walnut, then everything is that size.

Your understanding of the world is the size of a walnut. Your relationships can only reach the capacity of that walnut. Your understanding of yourself, your business, it's all that same size. You can never go outside of that until you take that, the size of your mind or your consciousness or your understanding of yourself, your business, it's all that same size. You can never go outside of that until you take that, the size of your mind or your consciousness or your understanding and grow it to the size of an orange

and then the size of a water amount and the size of whatever. The larger it gets, the more you expand and grow upon it, the more you're understanding of everyday things. I find this with myself. Like, my understanding of things that I thought I understood the things that I thought I knew My understanding of exercise and fitness very simple things that I've been doing for a for decades grows and expands as I expand my mind's own capacity, but the only way the only way you will grow is through being uncomfortable and painful

It is literally tied together. It does not happen from being comfortable. You cannot go, I'll use a gym analogy again because we're a fitness podcast, right? I am not going to develop bigger biceps if I use the same way and do the same exercises all the time. At some point it will stop. I have to introduce a new pain to it or make it a little bit uncomfortable to cause it to grow. Is that because it accommodates? Is that what it does? It's just

adaptation process. Which is just like everything else in the body with you, how we adapt anything. Your mind is the same thing. It just adapts. It eventually just adapts to and addresses. In depression we call that learned helplessness. So a, a very powerful psychologist by the name of Martin Selegman had done some research and he was studying dogs. And if you put dogs in a, a shock box and the floor has a shocker in it. And if a light comes on, there's, so there's two

shockers, they're side by side in this box. There's two lights. If the red light comes on, so there's two shockers, they're side by side in this box, there's two lights. If the red light comes on, the left one shocks. Dogs figured out pretty quickly. Oh crap, red light, get to the other side. The blue light comes on, that side shocks. They see the blue light that run to the other side. But if you make it inconsistent,

red light comes on, right one shocks, blue one comes on, they bow shock. The dog just lays down, it stops fighting and it just gives up. It gives up. Oh wow. And it just says, pretty much world, I don't know what's coming at me

and I'm just learning to be helpless. Okay, versus, see, our environment is inconsistent to us. That's what creates the fear, the inconsistent, the unknown, we don't know what tomorrow is going to be. There could be a terrorist attack tonight that changes our lives. There could be God forbid we meet somebody at Starbucks that changes our life. It could be that, you know, some conversation we have changes our life. Never know, never know what the next phone calls me.

That doesn't mean for us to live scared. I don't know what the weather's gonna be tomorrow. You know, it's funny, you say that. I just thought, so I go to a gym and work out on my own, and I go in there and I use a locker. Not all the lockers, by the way, are open for everybody, and they use the same fucking locker every time. Every time. Every time.

And it's like, you know, college campuses. Yeah. Yeah. Look on college campuses. Pick your desk, you can sit wherever you want. All semester, you sit in the same desk. Same desk, unless there's a hot chick that you wanna follow around. Yeah, follow around.

This is, it is, when it before I was married, honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is our, and you gotta understand, this is the interesting thing now. Our mind has the ability to evolve far faster than some of our instincts. This is why you have this awareness, you know, revolution that happens throughout the decades where people changed the way they think. But there's still these

primitive instincts that we evolved to have because of the environment that we used to live in. None of us live in the environment that, you know, that, you know, our 10 generations back evolved in where it was a good thing to have everything be predictable to know exactly where to go, the lion's going to be over there, I'm going to be over here, this is my cave, stay inside when it's dark, that kept us alive, but today, the risks aren't nearly the same and staying trying to be safe all the time will severely limit you. Well, and that's why anxiety spiking, because what we're doing is we're like those dogs. That actually that dog studies kind of defines the level of depression, but anxiety is in

depression run together 80% of the time. So when people have anxiety, they're unsure about the upcoming future. In other words, they're walking outside to check the weather and yelling at the clouds versus saying, go get my umbrella. What I want that dog to do is to bear down and get ready when the shot comes, it's ready. It's got it, okay, I can survive it. That shock, I know how strong it's gonna be.

I know what it's gonna be. I know I can survive it every time. The reason anxiety comes in is that the predictability of the old days of, okay, I don't know where the lion is. I don't know where the bear is, but I know that's it's din, it's probably gonna stay somewhat nearby.

And I know it's gonna get dark at 5.30, and at night I'm gonna, you know, have a, I'm gonna eat around the campfire, then I'm gonna go to bed, I'm gonna start the process to get in tomorrow. We don't have that predictability anymore. Because we've created such technological advances in sports, we've, we've got such talented people

who are competing against that the unpredictabilities in all time high, and as a result, we feel so powerless, and as a result, we have anxiety. Anxiety result, we feel so powerless. And as a result, we have anxiety. Anxiety is spiking among college athletes. It's unbelievable the amount of anxiety that we're seeing across college campuses. Really?

Unbelievable. And we used to think that is interesting. We used to think that. And it's crazy because, I mean, let's be honest now, right? If we went, what do we, you know, 2017, go back a hundred years, let's go back a hundred years. Life was way fucking harder. You actually had a lot more shit,

like you to be stressed about an anxious over. You could literally get an infection and die. Could have happened a lot. If you got pregnant, there's a good chance you're gonna die in childbirth. Right. You're probably gonna be malnourished. If you lost your job, you might starve.

This was a hundred years ago, It's not that long ago. Today, no that's just gonna happen. My God, 15 years ago you had to go to a travel agent to get an airline ticket. 20 years ago. So to your point, but we didn't know what we didn't know back then. That's right.

So right now on our phone, we could get an alert that says, bus bombed in Lebanon. And we go, oh my God, I feel terrible for those people. See the pictures of us. You see the picture and we connect to them. In the old days, it took 48 hours for us to get that news. If we were looking for it, it wasn't your face on it.

And then it was in a newspaper the next day. Exactly. So the unpredictability is what's killing us, but it's not the unpredictability. I had an Alabama this summer, we had about, I think it was like 90 something days without rain. And for us, that's a lot. We just this bubble over this area

that we got into a major drought. And it was in the fall by the time it started raining. So I was working with an athlete one day and she was from a foreign country. And we were talking about perception and identifying what the environment is. And I said, if you walk, it was pouring down rain. First day it had rained in the entire, I mean, quarter,

half a year. And I said, if you walked outside right now, what would you think the climate is of this city? And it's essentially described Seattle, right? With the perception of Seattle. You know, wet, rainy, cold, and I said, but we've had 93 days of sun. So when you allow your environment

to dictate your perception, your only, and your emotion to dictate your perception, then that's where we're lost. And so I want people to look at the unpredictability of life and go, you know what? I got it. I don't know what it's gonna bring, but I've risen up to every challenge,

and I've always found a way. That's that stubbornness, that's that vision, that's everything. You know, they did studies, remember the movie, Jaws, and they did saw that at Drive in Theater. Great, great movie. And they did studies on people and their perception of the dangers of swimming in the water exploded. People thought shark attacks were happening all over the place. And they're not out shark NATO to Yeah, and the reality is shark attacks are pretty consistent all your all your long and it's extremely rare

Where yeah, and now that we have social media now that we have this technology it amplifies the the perceived threat of All this crazy shit. That's happening. So what's else fears? What's your biggest fear? Geez well now that I have kids I mean anything that has to do with the safety of my children. Okay by happening. So what's else fears? What's your biggest fear? Cheese. Well, now that I have kids, I mean, anything that has to do with the safety of my children, okay, by far. Okay, we'll take that as a given. Mm-hmm. We'll take that as a given.

Okay. Now, in business, in life, your perception, which brings fear. Stability, for sure. Hmm. Describe that. What is that? To not know what, to not have an income the next month, you know, to not be, have enough money to pay your bills and to put food on your table.

That's probably the, and to be honest with you, which is ironic, because that's, you know, I haven't been honest with me. Yeah. I hate when people say that to me. I just got myself here. You call me out, let you get. You know, I've, I've, I grew up so many, and I know, so this is, you know, go to diving in deeper, right? I know that's my insecurity, and I know that's driven from my childhood because I grew up poor. But yet, by 19 years old, I was already, I was only making 50 grand, but back at 19 years old,

that was a lot of money, and then I had bought my house by the time I was 21 years old. So for sure, I know where it stems from, but it's crazy how we allow something like that. This, oh, like I'm not going to get paid, this instability, when in reality, I'm probably just fine. I'll always be just fine, but yet that drive, that drives me, and that is some fear or the anxiety that I would deal with. Yeah, but why not for you you though, growing up poor, and look where you are now, why not look at that differently and go, I grew up poor.

I don't wanna go back there, but I'm okay. Yeah. I mean really, think about it. Yeah. Well that's what I have to do. When you said that, like if I'm being honest with myself, that's part of what drives me and motivates me. So I guess this is a good question for you then.

When you know that, something like that, something like that is also a major motivator, right? That's a part of, I have to know that that's a part of my success was also driven from my initial fear. And the evolution of that is to no longer be afraid of that, to embrace it, to be okay, that then accept that I'm not going to not be able to pay the bills. I'm not going to not have food. That's never been a problem. But then also to be okay with that and use that to propel me.

Like where is the fine line and the balance in that of having something that is stemmed from childhood that you've now grown. You've now you're now aware of how do you embrace it and how do you use it so that it's not something that holds you back, but it's also something that you can continue to use to help fuel you. Yeah. It's being able to look at it, look at it, and understand it. See, when you say poor, what do you hear, what do you think? Well, food stamps, you know, being evicted from a house, like that, that's, yeah, that's, that's poor to me. But, but we celebrate that in entrepreneurs.

Right. I mean, there are sales trainers like, I've had my electricity turned off seven times. Right. Right. It's true. Very true. And so, to me, I look at that and I go, would you be as hungry today if you grew up on a trust fund? No, definitely. That's what I'm saying though. I know that, like I'm definitely not somebody who's, like I'm the last one to say, pour me,

feel bad for how I grew up. It's like I wouldn't change anything. I really wouldn't. And I had a hell of a childhood growing up. And I know that that also built on it. So does what drive you the desire to not be poor or does the desire to be rich? Probably the desire to be rich.

If I'm honest with myself, if I go back to diving into, you know, go back, go back, go back, go back, I remember being a child, you know, and I remember hanging out with friends and going to their house and, you know, they had, they had, you know, mom always had, like, desserts on the counter

and candy jars and we were watching pay-per-view TV and we were going to Giants Baseball. I could do all these cool things and then in my house I didn't have any of that stuff. And so really, as a kid, I desired that. I wanted that for myself. And then I also had parents that talked down upon people that had lots of money.

Like that was a bad thing. So that was like, is this struggle as a child going through that them telling you that, oh, money doesn't matter. All you need to love, love, love, loves what drives happiness and money is the root of all evilness. And people that have it are all evil and bad. And I'm going in my head, I'm scratching my head as a kid going, these people don't seem cool. They seem like they're doing all right. They seem like they're doing all right. I. And I'm going in my head, I'm scratching my head as a kid going, well, these people don't seem to do it.

They seem like they're doing it. They seem like, at least you've got a similar situation too, like growing up with money being looked at differently. It was something like they are the ones that have it, you know, but what we have is more impactful. It's love, it's this, it's that. And so I had that idea of like the success of,

you know, financial success is being a negative thing. And so I had that idea of like the success of, financial success as being a negative thing. And also for me, like one of the biggest, I guess, fears going into more success-minded and achieving new platforms is all the eyes and the eyes grow. And that's what kind of gives me anxiety because growing up and kind of doing my thing,

I always just want to do my own thing. But why do you want to do your own thing? Because I wanted to make myself, I was just interested in, I wasn't trying to show off to everybody else, I wanted to make myself feel good and to do that for just myself. And I feel like for me, it's really hard to, no, you know what it is, it's avoiding criticism. That's what it was. So growing up, I just tried to avoid criticism,

by just keeping everything internally to my side. So you're a police, you didn't want conflict. Right. Right. So now it's at a stage where he was crushed. You were crushed by that critique. Yeah. What happened to you? Because I've probably haven't put all of my entire self out there on display. Yeah. Right. And I have, and I've been working on that, but it's been hard. So for me, I went through a transformational, kind of a challenge in the very beginning.

And not only that, I didn't speak a lot. And so that was a safety thing for me. Yeah. So I would pull back out of the conversation. And you go for safety. You would be that reporter, or that commentator, who would just kind of take the middle line. Right.

There's not a lot of things to... The filler. The filler, yeah. Yeah. So that's, I mean, I kind of found a role in that as far as the team dynamic is concerned. Does that tick you off? Sometimes, sometimes I feel like the subject matter, it moves quickly. There's a lot of words. A lot of the subject matters already covered. And so therefore, I didn't, I wasn't able to get in my opinion. Yeah. So I bet you envy the quick-witted. Hmm. When you listen to things. Yeah. Watch things. Well, it's sort of attracted. I was very attracted. Yeah. So like you're Stephen Colbert. Yeah. Like,

you're stand-up comedians. Like those are people I always idolized. Yeah, for sure. And we tend to idolize the people that were the opposite of us. Like we always see other people's strengths and what those strengths are are weaknesses. If you really look at what other people, you go, I love what that person does. It's because I can't, like I was,

ever since I was a kid, I've won orthotics. And I'm not flat-footed. I'm what's called the form flat-footed. So I even, I crash and even more. My dad was in the Air Force when I was diagnosed with it, we were living in the Philippines. So in today's world, they probably have put me into physical therapy and I probably would have

strengthened that. But I've never been a runner. I can't run, all right. And when I was a baseball, we had to go run five miles. And I mean, it was like watching an elephant run. I mean, it was just, you know, going down the road. But whenever I see somebody running on the road, I see freedom.

I'll never feel that. I don't know what it's like to run and open it up. You know, those guys that are running and they got their, they've got this just sculpted body and they just look, they just look awesome running down the side. I'll never get that. Looks effortless.

It looks effortless. And so I idolize that. So I actually think that is the ideal of being fit because I can't do what I reject it. But then I resent it. Okay, so when I said when I started this industry and took my psychology instead of working with athletes on performances, I said, well, most of the people

in the field are skinny, they're fit, they're tan with great teeth and great hair, and I ain't got none of that. So I just gotta have good content. But that's a self-fulfilling, that's a joke that's made to kind of soften it on me. Of course. That, I'm like, I don't like, I'm trained for a living.

You know, when I was in college, I don't like to work out. I don't like it. I like to eat. I like to eat the bad stuff. Okay, so to that, it's like sometimes we resent that. And the problem is, you have a lot to offer. And I'm not saying you're doing therapy, but you have a lot to offer.

And the fact is, we ruminate on the things that we don't like. Like to me, damn, you grew up poor. You survived. But I see with my mom and my father-in-law, both grew up dirt ass poor, you know, like outhouses poor. And my father-in-law won't eat chicken today because that's all they ate, that's all they could afford that at chicken house. My mom grew up in an environment where she didn't get along with her parents.

They rejected her. She was a model, she's a twin sister. They were beautiful looking at the pictures. I'm like, damn, my mom was hot. And they rejected her. And they would make comments like, the other sisters are prettier. I'm like, what parent says that?

But you have to understand when they react in a certain way, like my father-in-law sold his business, all he wanted was to get to a spot that he never lived poor again. He didn't care how much money he actually made. My mom just wants a family. And so when she would get upset about something, I'd have to remember why. It's because she didn't like her family.

And we always are drawn to the opposite. I mean, what's your biggest fear? You had time to think about it. Now you got something really succinct. Of course. Yeah. It better be better than ours. Yeah, of course. You'll deliver it think about it. Now you got something really succinct. Of course. But it better be better than ours. Yeah, in front of you. You'll deliver it so much better. You'll find a way to make his fears, make him sound hellicot right here. Just watch.

You ready? Spiders. I was gonna say that. Now, you know, I'm not afraid of being poor. I feel very confident in my ability to earn a living if I had to. I don't, you know, I don't have to share the same fear with Justin in the sense of I talk and I talk a lot

and I have no problem speaking my mind. In fact, I probably speak my mind too much. I was thinking about what's a real fear for myself and I think it, actually I know it has a lot to do with, I don't wanna be a fraud fraud and what I mean by that is I've led lots of lots of teams. I've managed gyms with large teams and I've had people work for me and They themselves have grown and become successful and I helped coach them through that process and I have younger siblings I'm the oldest of four and when they go through tough times they call me to ask me advice and I give them advice on what they need to do and how they need to

succeed. And I don't want to fail because I don't want to be a fraud. I don't want to realize that my beliefs in what it takes to succeed and what it takes to do well is bullshit. It doesn't work. It's not working for me, like what's going on? So that's one of my fears. I don't, I guess I fear failure, but more than that, I fear that this identity that I believe is mine, it's not, doesn't work, isn't real. Like maybe I don't succeed

because everything I believed in was wrong. That's a very scary thing for me. Yeah, I can I see it. It's what we call imposter syndrome. And you see it with I see you see it with physicians a lot. And that's why they put up an image. But the best people are insecure. And you don't want a physician who knows it all. You want a physician who knows what they don't know. Right. I'm intelligent because I know that I know nothing. Yeah, I'm intelligent because I know I need to ask for help. And if you look at the three different fears, now you know what drives you.

But you also know what keeps you up at night. And I recognize all three of them. I didn't grow up poor. I grew up upper middle class. So I don't... But there was a time in our life where my dad lost his job after he left the Air Force. And I remember I was a sophomore in high school. He lost his job and even though he was a pharmacist, you could find a job, it was hard because he had a really good job.

And I remember that pain of family financial problems. And I never want my kids to ever know about the finances in the house, ever, ever. My parents didn't do anything wrong there, but that got me. I recognized deeply with the imposter syndrome. I feel that one a lot, because I want people to connect and And what I do you live and die a little bit by the success of your athletes But you sometimes have to remember that they don't always succeed and your job is to guide them through that But what happens if what I'm giving them is crap?

That's scary and and I get it and then the same thing with you about I'm the same way. I don't want to say something that crosses Like I told you being sub tweeted about something I said it hurt. I mean it bothers me Mm-hmm. I just want to go on blast, but our fees to do it. I just want to blast these people but you know fear guides us. I'm so unfortunately And I don't think enough people really are honest with what what their fear is. I think that's that that mask Well, I think you're gonna be okay with it. You know, that's that's the first step But I think you gotta realize like you're you might not be open to really looking at it because you're so fucking scared of it 100% like What's I mean? You know you ever watch remember your kid you watch a scary movie and there'd be like a scary face

Yeah, and you turn your face. You don't wanna look at it. Correct. You just don't wanna look at it. Okay, how about this? I'll give it one more. My daughters are 20 and 16, but when, you know, they lay in bed at night and they say there's something under my bed.

Well, they don't get out of the bed to look at it, do they? They actually think there's something under the bed. They make it into something much larger, and it becomes a monster that they saw on that TV show. And now it's real. I mean, I'm telling you, it's real. And you go flip on the light and it's their underwear they didn't pick up last night.

That's laying on the bed. They misinterpreted those. Fear is the bully on the playground. It does not get met with until it gets faced. When you refuse to face it, it just continues to grow. And it becomes the baddest son of a bitch up there. But like any bully on the playground, they are the most insecure human beings.

Right, right. So we see their bark, but we realize they have no bite. But we don't know that until we do it. And that means we got to step out of our comfort zone. We got to break our fish bowl to get after it. Punch them in the face. Punch them in the face. Punch them in the face. Yeah, fuck you, bully.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And it's fun. I mean, it's, you know, like I said, I'm fascinated by seeing this because I know there's a vulnerability that comes with doing what y'all are doing. I mean, I look at the room, there's, I mean, I mean, there's five of y'all sitting here. Mm-hmm. Do I add that right?

I want to LSU. So, there's five. There's five lives. There's more lives behind it depending on it. Which one are we gonna be motivated by? These five lives are the millions of people out there that need your message. If you take care of those millions of people out there

that need these messages, these five prosper, right? If you were about these five, they suffer. You know, it's like when you go when you're a kid and you go to the doctor, we need a lot of candle. I just said we just went, dude. What? It's good. Dude, I love gas. I like this. It's good because I know it's helping me.

I mean, you know, again, I talk a lot about liking to speak to people, I enjoy speaking to crowds, but I'm also terrified about it. Like when we go speaking lives, when we have people in front of us, I'm terrified before we go do it. Usually, you imagine me, dude. Yeah, it takes, it takes like 10 minutes,

15, 20 minutes sometimes for me to get into my flow because of that fear of what? You know what, you're saying that? I've found I'm doing the same thing. I love, when I worked in the pharmaceutical industry, I probably gave a hundred talks a year, but it was on their content, and I could take their content and make it great.

I'm narcissistic enough that I like being front of people. But what I'm finding now is like coming up here and I had to do a couple talks earlier in the week and whatever and you know, I reached out to people and I find myself, I'm starting to get cranky on the days I have to give talks. Yes, I did a full day clinic at the Olympic club and I was cranky in the morning.

And it's not cranky that I know I can't do it, but it's what is gonna happen. And I start worrying and I find myself, I get, it's like last night when I got back to my room, I felt so relieved because this wasn't anxiety provoking for me at all. This was I couldn't wait for. Because this is gonna be us just hanging around

having a conversation. There's gonna be no judgment. I mean, what's the worst is I leave here and you go, that was sucks and don't run that podcast, do you? Okay, there's nothing to lose, but you stand in front of an audience and you look out there and I don't know if you have this thought and I'll send somebody's like, doing that on you. Yeah, or get up and leave.

Get up and leave. Yeah, I've seen you had that a couple of times. And you're like, you, and you change your entire talk to that person that's not paying attention. But right next to that person, there's somebody who is just really cares and living it. And I find myself doing that. I get cranky and I try to find the person who makes me uncomfortable. And I end up tailoring to them and I'm missing. That's my fault. That crankiness. And at the same time, I go, wait a minute here. What happens? I've heard great people, I've heard musicians say, I played a one person in the audience.

I make contact to that person I try to change their life. And like, well, you're playing in front of 30,000 people, it doesn't matter. That one person matters. And I'm like, okay, I get it. I get it. And I guess that's what actors do. I mean, they become so invested in their one character

to that person they're interacted with. But I get you, man. Is that like, I mean, I'm there. Yeah, I think one of the things that's helped me is recently is I've identified the physical feelings of anxiety and the way I interpret those physical feelings can determine whether it's anxiety or excitement. Okay, let's go there.

Can we? What are the feelings of anxiety? It's the same as excitement. Damn right. Exactly same. Elevated heart rates, heart palms, you feel tight in the chest, you got to take a leak, you got to go bathroom. Yeah, it's all, that's exactly what happens when you fall in love, by the way.

Same fucking feeling. Yeah, mentioning it. Oh, that's raps. Yeah, but what the difference is is our interpretation. So for me, the way I look at emotion is, it starts with a stimuli. It starts with stimuli, not a stimulus. It starts with stimuli.

Stimula gets perceived, okay? That perception is guided by our past, our future, all those thoughts, our judgments, our stereotypes, all that stuff. That creates a feeling in the body. That feeling in the body becomes perceived. That perception becomes evaluated, which becomes an emotion. So if we feel this way, our mind has a radar system in it.

It's checking the environment. So when we go its anxiety, oh god, this feels uncomfortable, the mind goes, why is it uncomfortable? Why? What's wrong? What's going on out there? And it sends out the scouts and goes, find what's wrong. And it goes, you know what's wrong? Dude, I don't think I know my talk very well.

And so and so is going to be in that audience. And oh God, I don't know if I know it. And then it starts recruiting. Fear is like that friend you invite to a party that you know, it's like, if I invited you to a party. And you know, I's like, if I invited you to a party and, you know, I'm like, come on, but I know you're gonna bring 10 guys that I don't like.

That's what fear is. I can deal with you, but it's the next 10 that I can't stand. And so what happens is that's feeling in the body, which is neutral, it makes us, it's a perception, it's neutral, it gets cognitively interpreted as fear which then brings in a whole flood. What do you think that does to our motor system? Is it achievement focused or protection focused?

Protection for you. 100%. Okay, that's a completely different model. So under protection, we get more cortisol, we get more other stuff. But what do we get under achievement? You said it earlier, stopamine. All right.

Okay, so under achievement, hitting those small goals, it's a dopamine release. Why does the body secrete cortisol? You all know? It gives you, well, initially, it gives you more energy. For what? Fight or fly? Yep.

To protect. So it's preparing, it's just creating a little bit more protection. But when we're achievement focused, we get that tunnel vision and it's like, people say, more protection. But when we're achieving a focus, we get that tunnel vision. It's like, people say, if you get in that flow state and you get out there, though number one step, if you read the book, rise to Superman,

I'm just gonna call it. Okay, we interviewed Steven. Yeah, fascinating, steel and fire is great too. Mm-hmm. And you guys interviewed the co-authored, didn't you? Yeah, actually, we all awesome. Both of them. Yeah, both of them.

What's fascinating to me about that is, it takes the first step as acceptance. And when we can't accept the outcome, we're never in an open, you know, explosion into success. When we cannot accept the outcome either way, then we go into protective mode and we're trying to save face. We have to be willing to accept whatever happens.

And I would love for you to, before you go on stage, you go, you know what, guys? I may bomb, right? But I'm giving them everything I have today. And if I bomb, I'll deal with it. What's the worst case? They're gonna rip me on social media. They're gonna say we're frauds.

That's fine. I can learn to deal with it. But you know what? I'm gonna give them, and for you, I'm gonna give them everything I got and if they like, they do. I may have one person who likes me. Well, that's cool And maybe something wrong with that guy though

It's one more than I had yesterday. Yeah, exactly. Excellent man. Sweet. Always great talking to you. Dude, this is great. I think sir, let's do this a lot of fun man. You want to sign off? You want us to sign off here? I usually sign off on our show, but I don't know who's show this is me. Yeah, no, it's like we said before, it's the law and order homicide crossover. Yeah, we'll do formal. What we'll do is we'll do it.

We'll do our own, I'll do the formal one too, but look, it's a pleasure to be here. And I'm always fascinated by seeing entrepreneurs who have a vision of what they want to do and are innovators. Innovation starts in the mind, always. You know, I look back before we sign off, but you look at Disney World. Could that be built today? Not really. Not really. Because everyone would tell them why it would fail. But that man started with a vision

and a dream. And that vision and dream kept growing with other people who got on board with that dream. That's what we are. Excellent, appreciate it. Check this out, go to mindpumpmedia.com, 30 days of coaching, still for free. Also, find us on Instagram. You can actually ask us questions on Instagram and check out our Insta Stories. We run promos all the time.

You can find it at Mind Pump Media. You can find my personal page at Mind Pump Style, Addams at Mind Pump Atom, and Justons at Mind Pump Justons. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy, and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbumble at Mind Pump Media.com. The RGB Superbumble includes maps on the ballad, maps performance and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased, expert exercise programming designed by Sal Adam and Justin to systematically

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