Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 584: Distinguishing Real Hunger from Emotional Hunger, Dealing with Performance Anxiety, Best Age to Start Sports & MORE

Episode Date: August 30, 2017

Organifi Quah! In this episode of Quah, sponsored by Organifi (organifi.com, code "mindpump" for 20% off), Sal, Adam & Justin answer Pump Head questions about the difference between thinking you are h...ungry and your body actually needing food, advice for long-distance relationships, if it is legitimate that to be great at a sport you need to start at a young age and how to deal with performance anxiety. Guys talk about their week off (5:20) Justin goes to Reno Saul travels to Kauai Adam’s cruise to Alaska “Cafeteria” food on boat Lived off Organifi green juice Ran into “Pumpheads” Quah question #1 – When we feel hunger what is the difference between feeling hungry or needing to eat something? (29:42) Separate expecting to eat or needing to eat Emotional hunger comes on fast **Disclaimer** If healthy, cleared by doctor, go on extended fast to reset your gut Associating being stuffed with feeling satisfied Eat your meals with no fluids consumed Be aware of chewing your food Quah question #2 – Advice for long distance relationships? (43:45) Learn to look at yourself and where you are in relationship Let people do their own thing Be independent Be secure Quah questions #3 – Do you think to be great at a sport you have to start at a young age? (56:23) Genetics play largest role Can take over identity You got it or you don’t Quah question #4 – How do you guys deal with performance anxiety? (1:10:28) Get comfortable with worst case scenario Identify what is causing the anxiety Related Links/Products Mentioned Organifi Coupon Code "mindpump" Alone Full Episodes, Video & More | HISTORY (website) State of Play: Trophy Kids (website) People Mentioned: Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) · Twitter Floyd Mayweather (@FloydMayweather) · Twitter Chris Boar Bell (@BigStrongFast) · Twitter Michael Jordan Steve Young Kelly Starrett (@mobilitywod) · Twitter Would you like to be coached by Sal, Adam & Justin? You can get 30 days of virtual coaching from them for FREE at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Get our newest program, MAPS Prime Pro, which shows you how to self assess and correct muscle recruitment patterns that cause pain and impede performance and gains. Get it at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Get Organifi, certified organic greens, protein, probiotics, etc at www.organifi.com Use the code “mindpump” for 20% off. Go to foursigmatic.com/mindpump and use the discount code “mindpump” for 15% off of your first order of health & energy boosting mushroom products. Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Also includes 20% if you purchase! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Have questions for Mind Pump? Each Monday on Instagram (@mindpumpradio) look for the QUAH post and input your question there. (Sal, Adam & Justin will answer as many questions as they can)

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mite, op, mite, op with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. In this episode, this welcome back episode. Hey, we were off for a minute. We're here. We actually took like a week off, so we're... Where would you go?
Starting point is 00:00:23 Reno, Hawaii, or Alaska? Yeah, we're shaking up. We shook off the loser podcast dust with this episode. So for the first 24 minutes, a little mic rust. Yeah, for the first 24 minutes there, we had some good warm up conversation. I'm trying to bike. Add Justin, Justin went to Reno. The worst place. all of it.
Starting point is 00:00:46 I fucking did hype this up a little bit. I went to Kauai, the beautiful island of Kauai, and Adam went to Alaska. We all had some interesting adventures. I hiked a bunch of awesome stuff. Adam saw some incredible wilderness, and just it had too much weed. I bought weed legally.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Stay away from the food on the cruises. There's like cafeteria foods to live off your green juice. That's right. Adam had to use a lot of his Organifi green juice because he wasn't, you know, have access to lots of vegetables. By the way, if you want to try out Organifi green juice, go to Organifishop.com,
Starting point is 00:01:21 enter the code, mind pump for a discount. Then we get into the fitness questions. The first question was, how do you differentiate between hunger that is real hunger or just like a craving or emotional hunger? We talk a little bit about that. Then we answer the question on advice
Starting point is 00:01:40 for long distance relationships. I know you think you're listening to a fitness podcast but we're actually experts on everything. Yeah. So we talk about relationships there. Then someone asks us a question, do we think it's a legitimate that in order to be great at a sport, you need to start at a very young age.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Is that true? Or can you be great if you start much later on? For example, I'm gonna start playing football now and I'm gonna prove this wrong by becoming you. Have no chance. Great at throwing the football. Then the final question is, how do you deal with performance anxiety?
Starting point is 00:02:20 We all have a lot of advice on that, and we talk about all kinds of performance anxiety Not just the filthy type that you're thinking right now also it's close out two days left There's only two days left for what's turning out to be our biggest promotion yet. We're giving Access to our private forum for free if you enroll in any maps program or in any of our bundles. Right now one of our more popular bundles is our sexy athlete bundle. I've actually seen quite a few of those come up. The sexy athlete bundle is taking maps aesthetic and melding it with mass performance, with
Starting point is 00:03:02 a mod that teaches you how to combine the two. And what it's doing is it's teaching you to be extremely functional while training for aesthetics as well. So if you're kind of like a bodybuilder, physique, competitor, bikini type person, but you also like that functional type of stuff, this is for you or if you're that functional person, if you love doing the CrossFit stuff, you love doing hiking, mountain climbing, sports, but you also want the aesthetics. This is also for you. So if you're rolling that or you're rolling any of the other programs, you'll get access to our forum.
Starting point is 00:03:35 If you want to look like Bo Jackson. Four free, what? Because I do. Also, the price for the forum is going up in two days as well. So not only are you getting free access, but it's gonna go up and price anyway. So seriously, take advantage of this promotion. You can find it mindpumpmedia.com. And it's t-shirt time.
Starting point is 00:03:56 T-shirt time. We like to bribe. Do we have like five million reviews? A record reviews this week, Doug? Yeah, we had 46, I believe. Holy shit. Holy shit. Last week, last week. record reviews this week Doug. Yeah, we had 46 I believe Last week last week last week. Oh, this last week 46 not quite so good. Oh We're nine. How do we go from 43 to nine? I'll tell you exactly what do I tell me you guys went on vacation
Starting point is 00:04:19 Uh-oh you guys go on vacation. They miss the review Come back to us. We're back. Let me remind people real quick how to leave a review. And again, you win a free t-shirt if you leave a five star review and we pick your review. If we like it, can we break the 43 records out? I don't know. 46 or 43? 43, 46, I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:04:37 All right, it doesn't matter. What? Here's what you do. Even if you're subscribed to us, you gotta do this in order to leave a review. Go, click on your icon for your podcast. You go to the this in order to leave a review. Go click on your icon for your podcast. You go to the search function, type in mind, pump, mind pump comes up, click on the icon, then you'll see a little thing that says review, click on review, then leave a five star review so that you can win. One of these limited edition mind pump. You can win. All right, Doug, who's the
Starting point is 00:05:01 winners? All right, we're gonna give out three shirts. This. We have Oki bum 23 Chris H 262. Enough 187. All of you are winners. Send the name I just read to iTunes at MindPumpMedia.com, your shirt size, your shipping address, and we'll get that right out to you. You're on fire. When I uh, in Fuego. I'm gonna share some personal stuff here. Oh, I can't wait when I left When I left for my Did you see the the photos that I posted from Alaska? I did I did dude amazing. They were beautiful postcards Absolutely beautiful posting postcards well I didn't say is just you gonna talk all about this. Yeah, I did go to Reno actually I love did you see our did you see our boy Ryan? Yep, you hooked it up man Well, I was gonna say is just a lot of talk all about this. Yeah, I did go to Reno actually. I had a lot of fun.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Did you see our boy Ryan? Yep, he hooked it up man. I went to the fight and everything. Got to watch Connor and down stairs in the bottom room where they do the big screen and everything that they set it up down like that. In the ballroom, yeah. How was it?
Starting point is 00:05:58 Oh, it was cool. Food drink. Food drink. We sat in the very front. There's three screens gone. Pact crowd. Crazy, dude. Connor came to fight, man. That was a good fight. Very, very surprised. There's three screens gone packed crowd crazy did Conor came to fight man That was a good fight very very surprised. We're gonna say so I may may weather should should be embarrassed
Starting point is 00:06:12 Yeah, I think I think so because I expected him to fully dominate hard And he didn't really do that. Well, he wanted to claim that that was all part of his game plan Yeah, did you you know I go back and forth on, do I, did he intentionally kind of do that, right? He didn't even throw a punch for the first round, I don't think. Yeah. First round, he like literally did not throw a punch. I think he didn't throw a punch till the very, very end of the,
Starting point is 00:06:35 he was trying to wear him out for sure. Which he, which, I mean, Connor got exhausted. Mm-hmm, that's when he lost. Yeah, you'd think that Connor would have picked up on that though more. Like, like, if he, he's just like waiting for him to just like, waste all his energy. Yeah, I think I'll tell you what, the ducking and all that shit though, you know, he was
Starting point is 00:06:51 turtling away from him. That was pissing me off. There was a, was it? No, is this true? Because someone told me that there was a press conference where Connor said this before the fight, the rematch will be in the cage and the May weather's like, you got it. That ain't happening. You know, I, I, I highly doubt it. Mm-hmm. That ain't happening.
Starting point is 00:07:05 You know, I highly doubt it. Yeah, I know, I know. But you don't think they would do it for another fucking massipede? I don't think Mayweather would never do that. Yeah, he would never do that. I mean, look at the fact that he killed. For a hundred million. Not even for a hundred million.
Starting point is 00:07:17 I mean, I think that, I mean, he made like three hundred million on this fight. Oh my god. Yeah. 300 million dollars. That's insane. It's insane. It's fucking insane. Yeah. For one, I told Katrina, I'll fight anybody.
Starting point is 00:07:29 You guys hear that? Anybody. I will fight the scariest, most deadliest mother fucker on this earth for $300 million. Dude, for $300 million, I'll fight a shark. I don't know. I was just saying, put me in the ring with a fucking polar bear dude. I will fight. I'll fight anything for that.
Starting point is 00:07:44 It's ridiculous, dude. Oh, yeah I'm saying I mean you got kind of a chance right with what like Pokemon the iron exactly Son of a bitch. Oh suck. You could you could buy a whole new body for that you could you could buy a lot of bodies So what I my bad so what I was in a sex trafficker You want to Reno with your best friends. Yeah, yeah for my school. Yeah, I mean I mean, I longed the night. It was just you and a bunch of dudes just me and two dudes we brought out that was all He did we brought out the whole the whole weekend. So I was up there for like four days. Yeah, do you have any Can't abyss we did was it legal there now?
Starting point is 00:08:22 He did it's right over because it's legal It's recreational. I didn't even know that. Yeah. Did you overdo it? Ah, yeah, man. I'm not used to this whole, you know, you go in for a card and you get like real stuff. Yeah. Like, oh my god.
Starting point is 00:08:38 And so, yeah, I was out in public and it was, I had to be like telling them, I was like losing my train of thought. I like couldn't talk, I couldn't order a drink. I was like, we gotta go back to the casino, dude. This is getting ugly. And I was in a loan, too. Like I was looking and we were just, everything was moving super slow, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:55 And so anyway, yeah. That was one of those things you're just like, I'm a rookie in this department. I not know what I'm doing. I'm surprised that that even happened. You're considering how many times you hung out with me and Adam. True.
Starting point is 00:09:08 I would figure your tolerance would be that. Well, Edible is like in handle. I had a really good chocolate. It was like, I had like espresso in it. So it was like perfect. Cause it like a little bit of a stimulant there. And then yeah, so that was, that was money, dude. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I missed you guys. I did miss you guys too. I saw you as an assailer when Adam interrupt. I know I know it was a touching thing I was gonna say keep going though. You got to get a power through it. Well when I left no Did you know my You guys Come on I told Justin you're in the bathroom
Starting point is 00:09:41 So it's gonna be so excited to tell a story. Every time he tries to tell a story. I figured that one out. Oh my god. Go ahead, bro. I'll fun. That was fun. I got what I had to say out.
Starting point is 00:09:53 So that was my feeling. I heard nothing. It's very nice thing what I was gonna say. Wow. That was a very nice thing. Anyway, you forgot. You guys go. See you back.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Well, when I left, I thought of like all the people I would miss, like my kids, you know, my family, and I missed you guys the most, more than anybody else. You know what I mean? Yeah. Before that I missed my kids. I felt the same. I actually missed work.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Yeah. I think that's the first time, probably in my life, where, and I've had times before, we're in the middle of building a business or excited about something that's happening at work that I was thinking about it still when I was on vacation, but normally I get into vacation and I'm enjoying myself and I'm not worried about home.
Starting point is 00:10:38 And I wasn't worried at all about what's going on back here, but man, it was only a couple days in and I was already felt like, okay, I've rested plenty. I'm fully rested, get me back to work. There's so many things that I want to work on, I want to do right now, that it took a lot out of me to try and reset completely and detach from everything back here.
Starting point is 00:10:59 How about you guys? No, so I went to Kauai and the intention was not to go to resort and just relax in the sun. I wasn't looking to do that. I wanted to go do some challenging hikes, some climbs, go see some stuff, really just kind of challenge myself and enjoy the the natural beauty of the island, which is what I did. And it was really only when I was doing those things that I was able to detach. Once I was back and just kind of relaxing, because we'd get back to the resort about 3 PM,
Starting point is 00:11:34 then I was thinking a lot about what we could do, work-wise, I was missing. But we did the one-may-a canyon, which they call the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. Hike that, did some challenging hikes there. The views were just spectacular. Then the next day, we did a hike on, what is that? Calilow Trail, which is, nobody told me this.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Fucking challenging, dude. Oh, dude. Like, you're gonna die. You fuck up, you don't watch every single step. It's an early. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna die if you fuck up. Like, you're literally, I'm climbing. On a cliff. I'm going uphill, stepping on different rocks.
Starting point is 00:12:16 It's wet because it rains there all the time. Some parts of the trail are about this narrow. So on the left of me is the mountain, on the right of me is you fall to your death. Yeah. So you're hiking that and no rails or no safety at all. Oh, no, no, no, nothing. Wow.
Starting point is 00:12:34 And you cross several streams and there's no bridge or anything like you cross the stream. You have to like hop on rocks. So we do this whole thing, not the whole trail, which is 11 miles, I wasn't gonna do that because if you do the 11 mile trail, if you finish it, then you should camp at the end of it and then come back. There's no way you do the whole thing in one day. So all we did was like five or six miles, which took us like three and a half hours. That's how challenging the trail was. It took us that long just to do that many miles. But we crossed
Starting point is 00:13:02 these streams and then finally at the very end, I'm like, oh shit, we're almost there. This is awesome. Fucking stream was like full of water. And I'm like, how are we going to get across? Like, what are we going to do? I saw the video of Jessica falling down. That was great. My girl's like, we're just going to walk through. And I'm like, I don't want to walk through fucking like it's fucking running a lot. Like walk through. Yeah, I don't think you so. But I did, I walked through and then there was a speech. But I'll tell you something, this is how big of a pussy I am with that kind of stuff
Starting point is 00:13:30 because I've never really challenged myself that way, is there were kids on the trail too. Like people were hiking with their kids and that would really give me like a gut check. Like every time I was like, whoa, I'm stuck in a pussy. Yeah, like a seven year old is getting through this. Yeah, I'm scared, I don't know if I want to keep going. Yeah, like a seven-year-old is getting through this. Yeah, I'm scared.
Starting point is 00:13:46 I don't know if I'm gonna keep going. There's like a kid doing it. Skips right by you. Oh, but it's such a gorgeous, just a beautiful island. I mean, what did you guys stay? We stayed at the Sheraton on Poy Poo Beach, and we rented a car, so we would wake up every morning at like 6 a.m. and then we would be in the car
Starting point is 00:14:03 at 7 a.m. going to wherever we're going to go. And then we did Luaos. I don't know if you guys have been doing Luaos. I went there last time. We did the Smith family one, which is like this real traditional Luaos. Great performances, great food. We're going to go, I'm definitely going to go back and I'm going to go backpacking in Kauai next time. I'm going to do it like legit. Did you do that one? Was it the inner tubing? Where you go through those rivers, like you go underneath.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Yeah. That's all the plantation fields. That's what I was asking about if you did that. But I was cool. You've got a book that like months in advance now. Really? Oh, it's booked out for. For a shit.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Yeah, we looked into that. When we were out in Maui, we were gonna take a plane over there just to do that and why we didn't was, we couldn't get in. It was a month before and we still couldn't get in. So yeah, that was one of my favorite things I did there. That and the hiking, of course. Well, there's this kayak thing that you can do
Starting point is 00:14:57 that is along the North Shore or whatever, where you can kayak three days in a row to different campsites and it's like hard core So I'm thinking about doing something like that next time, you know rough it and quiet. Yeah, God It doesn't sound like my vacation, but it's the the lushness of the of the plants there It's like so dense. You're like in a rainforest on the North Shore. It is super super, tons of energy. Fruit growing everywhere. Chickens and pigs everywhere. You literally, you could be,
Starting point is 00:15:29 they ran all over the place. Bro, you could like never have to buy food again. The, I think the, they allocate like one pig per person per day if you hunt them. And I don't know if you can hunt the chickens and kill them, I don't see why not. And then there's fruit growing everywhere. Like you could live there on the beach and eat like a king forever. Yeah, you know, yeah, you got everything you need to speak of living there like that.
Starting point is 00:15:53 We drove or we yeah, we drove by right. You'd say drive by if we floated by we floated by where have you ever seen the show alone? Are you familiar with that? Alone is this show where they drop off 10 contestants on this peninsula off of Alaska. So it's just above, it's just north of the border of Canada and it's right at the bottom part of Alaska. And I forget the name of the island, but we drove right by there.
Starting point is 00:16:23 And that's where they dropped them off. And it's so the idea of this island, but they, we drove right by there. And that's where they, they dropped them off. And it's, so the idea of this show, it's a reality show where you, they dropped 10 contestants off. They're all like 15, 20 miles apart from each other so they don't ever find each other. And the idea is who can survive the longest? And you get nothing, you get no food. It's a really wet part of up there, like in the ocean.
Starting point is 00:16:41 I mean, honestly, everywhere is really wet up there. Yeah, it's, it's, it's constant. I think they, I think they, like, in an awesome, I mean, honestly, everywhere is really wet up there. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, I think they, I think they say like, every, every day of winners, like, rain, and then even in summer, it rains a lot. So it's, it's pretty wet and cold. I mean, it was, I was, I had packed accordingly, but still could have packed warmer and more close that I didn't realize how wet and cold that it really was and I should have you mean we're going up to a fucking glacier and so like duh, but I for some reason I thought that like there would be other areas of Alaska that would be like warmer and you see any grizzly bears or anything. We didn't see it. We didn't see any grizzly bears up close. We saw some from far, but I mean, it wasn't like in same thing with the whales. I saw some whales from far. I had one come
Starting point is 00:17:32 up close to the boat, but a bunch of dolphins. So the, and a bunch of all the eagles. So the wildlife was okay. I wanted it to, you know, it heard from other people like how amazing it was. And so one of the trips that we did because of weather got canceled. So the one I was most excited about, which is kind of a bummer, my first stop was in Juneau, Alaska. And we were to get in a helicopter and fly to a glacier, land on the glacier, and then go dog sledding. Oh shit. And because the weather was so fucked up, they actually cancel our trip. So I was really bummed about that because of all the things that we had set up. Yeah, it sounds epic.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Yeah, because we set up, like we did ATV driving one day, back in these old mining logging roads, we did, we hiked a couple different places that we were at to a glacier and a waterfall. And so every day we, we port we, that we dropped into a port, we did something cool, but the one I was most excited about was the landing on the glacier. How long would you guys think of port a day?
Starting point is 00:18:33 So most of the ports you get in there, like first thing in the morning, so you, you, you'd hit about seven o'clock or eight o'clock in the morning. And then you have basically all day till 10 o'clock at night to, to be on the the whatever town it was. And most of these towns are, I mean they are tiny. If it wasn't, they get cruises, cruise ships every single day for six months
Starting point is 00:18:54 and they have four to five cruise ships coming. Each cruise ship has like 3,000 people. So this town sees 15,000 people or so from the cruises every single day for six months of the year. Then the other six months, it's like a fucking ghost town. Like I talked to like a lot of the store store owners and they were telling me like you could literally light yourself on fire and run up Down the street naked in three months and there's nobody here. Like nobody would know you're on fire. Like there's just nobody around But it was packed when I was there. So when I travel I like to
Starting point is 00:19:23 like there's just nobody around, but it was packed when I was there. So when I travel, I like to notice the, or pay attention to the culture of the area. Did you notice anything about like the culture, like the people, the... It's okay, little bit because it was hard, because literally, majority of what I saw was from the cruise. Like, so most people were very tourists, but it was neat because some of the, some of the tour guides and places that we were at would actually tell you, like, how to spot a local, like like base off of how they were dressed. And so, you know, most of the locals were always wearing like these tall rubber boots, which
Starting point is 00:19:53 just gives you an idea of like what the weather probably looks like year round there. If like every day you put on a pair of, and they, I think they call them Alaska slippers. I think that was the, so Alaska slippers are these like fucking rain boots that go up to your knees Because the weather is just so unpredictable there. Yeah, so when I got when I got back I went on the freeway and I was driving like 55 miles an hour Because I didn't I didn't realize I had acclimated to the speed that they drive on Quiet everybody drives a hell of fucking slow slow. Yeah, it's like the most there in chill Don't worry, right everyone's flip flops and fucking oh come on in come on in totally different than driving
Starting point is 00:20:32 I had the same shock when I got back here and Katrina was just Katrina I were talking about because I was there So talking about the cold right there. So you do notice that you just everybody is When you live in California The states period but California I think at most like California in New York. I would think it's like this too is that you just everybody is when you live in California, the state's period of California, I think at most, like California, New York, I would think is like this too, the fast pace, like it's compared to fuck. Right, we're in such a hurry here to get places.
Starting point is 00:20:55 And so when you go somewhere like Hawaii and Alaska, life is so different. Like the hustle and bustle to get from point A to point B is nowhere near what it's like for us here. So it's a bit of a culture shock when you're, and I have to be patient, because there's times where I catch myself getting irritated because people be in line to buy something,
Starting point is 00:21:13 and they be having great conversation. Yeah. And you're going like, motherfucker, like I'm standing here waiting in line, but I'm like, wow, this is just how everybody is. You stop and you talk and you're friendly, and if I'm waiting in line, then I wait longer. You know what I'm saying? Just this just how everybody is? You stop and you talk and you're friendly. And, you know, if I'm waiting in line, and then I wait longer, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:21:27 And just kind of how everybody is. Like, there's no, there isn't this pressure to hurry up everyone. Yeah, I could totally see myself living in a place like that for a short period of time. Oh, I was gonna say that. For a short, I could see it for a little while. I could see doing something like that,
Starting point is 00:21:41 but then wanting to leave after like a couple of years. Yeah, I couldn't do it. I don't really. Yeah, I couldn't do it. I don't really. Yeah, it's just like it's too slow. I mean, I enjoy it as a change of pace, but I like to be challenged and I like to be driven. I need to be in that environment. I've thought of that too, even like two weeks for me is too long.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Oh, seven days was a lot. I was ready to get off the boat for sure. I mean, I'm on a boat too, so there's a difference there, I guess a little bit, but just being away from it, I love that. I mean, how was the food and stuff on your boat? The boat food is fucking horrible. It's like cafeteria food, but I only ate that twice.
Starting point is 00:22:18 So only two times that I actually, so you have the way that these cruises work, right? As you pay like this on inclusivity. So you have all the food on food is free on the boat. They put, they have special areas like it's fucking pizza nuggets and like hamburgers and hot, it's like fucking garbage foods. Horrible. And, and then they have like cafeteria like, I mean like a buffet style breakfast,
Starting point is 00:22:43 horrible, everything's horrible. But then they have like these really fine dining like you know five course six course Meal or restaurants Throughout the boat right there. I think there was one to do. There's five I think five on there And they're all different like one was called the salty dog and it was like American grill burgers things like that that were really good Then there was another one that was like a crab shack so it was all like crab legs and lobster, things like that really good. And we had another one that was kind of like a French style that was duck and things like that sort.
Starting point is 00:23:17 So there's, but then you got to pay extra for that. Of course. And for us, we were, a lot of people I know they go on these cruises and they're trying to save money And so they you know you've paid for your all-inclusive so you could technically stay on that boat and not really spend Any more money and just live off the food that they're giving you but I can't it just who was horrible it guys The fur I tried the first day and I looked at Katrina I couldn't even finish my plate. I'm like no fuck this. There's there's no way I can't do this and so I live I literally
Starting point is 00:23:43 Lived off of our green juice. Like I brought, thank God that she brought, she brought some bars and then a box of our green juice from Organifi and that became my staple breakfast. Like I just, I woke up, I had a cup of coffee and then I had my green juice and that pretty much sustained me till we got to a port and then we get to a port, I get off,
Starting point is 00:24:05 now the food on whenever we got somewhere, amazing. Well, I'm sure the fish is probably. Oh my God, the best crab, I had the best hot like an hour ago. Oh, bro, the best crab and lobster. It's a different game, right? It's like, yeah, it's a whole nother, like the best fish I've ever had here, which I think, I mean, we're close to San Francisco and the base, so we've got good seafood. Yeah, it's yeah, it's a whole nother like the best fish I've ever had here, which I think I mean, we're close to San Francisco and the in the base. Well, we've got good seafood. It's different
Starting point is 00:24:27 though. Yeah, it's it's another level of good there. The halibut and the yes, because that's where they catch it all. Yeah, the Alaskan cod, the halibut and the and the the king. Yeah, and they have king crab here. So we normally eat when you eat crab here, we normally eat dungeon-ish crab. King crab is there. So these crabs are this big. Yeah, we had a leg. You know, I get a leg, this big, it's literally a $40 leg. Like so it's, yeah, 40 bucks per leg. So we went to one place where you roll up
Starting point is 00:24:59 and you order by the leg and we had to pile it, like $300 worth of legs. We're all digging it, but so good, dude. Oh, so good. order by the leg and we had to pile like $300 worth of legs. We're all digging it but so good, dude. Oh, so good. Were you able to get your hands on any vegetables over there? Because I would assume the vegetables probably were suck, right?
Starting point is 00:25:13 Because they don't grow much. Very tough to get vegetables. That's why I literally lived off our green juice. I went through a full box of our green juice. Sometimes I had it twice on a day because of that exact reason. I pretty much what I would do was I would eat as much seafood as I could when we hit the port.
Starting point is 00:25:27 So I would buy, I would eat huge, huge meal. And then I would buy to bring back onto the boat for me to have later on again. So I would, you know, do that. And then in the morning time I was eating or drinking the green juices. And that's pretty much how I survived through the trip. Only got in, I got in two workouts in the gym, but the rest of the time we were really happy. Oh, you worked out, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Yeah, I didn't do a single workout. Dude, I worked out at the South Reno Athletic Club. Remember the one we went to? Oh, yeah. I went there twice, dude. Oh, that was awesome. Yeah, I showed my friends at gym, we powered it out. It was like, it's like a playground, dude,
Starting point is 00:26:01 for, you know, it's got everything. We played basketball, you know, and then we, like, threw the ball around and shit on the grass. That's gotta be one of the best gyms ever been at, dude, for, you know, it's got everything. We play basketball, you know, and then we like, threw the ball around and shit on the grass. That's gotta be one of the best gyms ever have been at. Yeah, for sure. No, I didn't work out, we didn't work out at all. We did lots of hiking, but what we would do
Starting point is 00:26:13 with nutrition wise is our schedule would, we would go out real early, whether we were gonna do a hike or whatever, we did ATV one day. Then when we get back at about three, we would eat something and then we'd have dinner. And the seafood in Hawaii is just incredible too, but would eat something and then we'd have dinner. And the seafood in Hawaii is just incredible too, but it's all the local stuff that they catch. So you'll get the fish of the day. So, and then a fish tacos at some place that was supposed to be like one of the best, but it was like a little shack, but the fish tacos were fucking incredible.
Starting point is 00:26:39 That's how a lot of these places, you get off on the, on the port and you go find the restaurants, aren't really restaurants. Most of them are like these little trailers with the thing over, which, that's how it's in Hawaii, like the same thing too. A lot of them are just these little trailers with a little canopy over the top of them and they are just. Some of the server joints there. Oh man, they are just serving up some of the, now you, uh, I, this was crazy to me because these towns in Alaska are super small we didn't hit any the big ones We hit like a lot of the small Juno Ketchikan
Starting point is 00:27:12 Skagway these are all like these really small like only boat or plane you can get to these these places You ran into some mine pump at every fucking place this blew my mind. That's crazy. I was so surprised pump at every fucking place. This blew my mind. That's crazy. I was so surprised. You would think that we're a little used to it now when we go places, but not here. I'm thinking Alaska, like who the fuck is listening?
Starting point is 00:27:32 I didn't even see a gym anywhere. So I didn't even think it existed. And shout out to the guys over and they were in, let's see here, Ketchkin, Skalway, Skagway. We stopped there. They were the first ones that actually caught me before I got off the boat and messaged me and said, hey, come buy our store, 907 clothing
Starting point is 00:27:52 in S gag way and hooked it up. Just said, hey, pick anything you wanted there. Huge fan of the show. That was so awesome. Obviously, I bought something for Katrina too. I couldn't just take something for free like that and felt didn't feel right. No, I got recognized at a luele.
Starting point is 00:28:04 There was some kid there who comes up. He's like, oh listen to my pump and I was smashed Oh, you were yeah, dude They had because at the luau it included like drink as many of the my ties as you want Oh, yeah, and I mean my ties like that's come I kind of drink you know what I mean to taste fucking sweet You know the three-years of that yeah, so I'm just yeah just pounding them and I'm a anyway, so I'm hammered and this kid comes up to me and I'm like, oh, it's up there. What's my impump? It was good, but I'm glad to be back, man.
Starting point is 00:28:32 I missed you guys. I had a great workout when I got back. I could tell my body felt good, maybe needed some time off. I'm surprised you didn't lift. I'm proud of you. Not even one's tough for you, I think. It used to be, not really anymore. I think I'm surprised you didn't lift. I'm proud of you. Not even one stuff for you, I think.
Starting point is 00:28:47 It used to be, not really anymore. I think if it was just a relax, like not do anything trip, then I probably would, but we did so much fucking hiking and moving. By the time I got back, man, I was just I felt the same way too. I was just noxilar. Did you do anything in the water?
Starting point is 00:29:04 No, it was all in the mountains and hills and all that stuff. Yeah, but nothing else. Doug, bring on the bird. Vacation bird. It's so lazy. This quaz brought to you by Organifi. For those days, you fall short on getting your organic veggies or whole food nutrition.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Organifi fills the gap with laboratory-tested certified organic superfoods to help give your health a performance the added edge. Try Organified, totally risk-free for 60 days by going to Organified.com. That's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I.com. And use a coupon code MindPump for 20% off at checkout. Alright, our first question is from prime and glory. When we feel hunger, what is the difference between thinking you're hungry and your body actually needing something?
Starting point is 00:29:51 It's actually a good question. It is. And I think there's levels of needing something, right? I think most people are their perception of like what our body needs and what it actually truly needs is really off. I'll say a controversial statement, but I'll defend it. I think most people,
Starting point is 00:30:12 most people in Western developed nations, probably have never really felt what wrong. What wrong? I don't think, like pushing the boundaries of hunger. Yeah, we're like, we're like, I're like, we're like, we're like, we're gonna die. But your body actually needs it, right?
Starting point is 00:30:28 Yeah, I don't think we've ever really felt, and here's another answer to this. Whether or not you think you feel hunger, or you actually do, it doesn't matter. Both of them are perceived as feeling hungry. The difference is being able to separate if you're expecting to eat and if you actually need to eat because I know for myself when I used to eat
Starting point is 00:30:53 six or seven small meals throughout the day, if I missed one of them, I'd be starving. I need to have food, I need to eat, I don't feel right, I feel light-headed or I used to think, oh, I need to eat. But the reality is I expected to eat. I don't feel right. I feel light headed or I think oh I need to eat sugar and all that but the reality is I expected to eat and then I missed a meal that I expected to have the first time I fasted Where I knew I was gonna fast and I'm like okay, I know I'm not gonna eat until tonight Actually didn't feel anything at all. So I think a lot of it has to do with expectations. Yeah, I'm saying
Starting point is 00:31:23 I could go to a movie and sit in a movie theater and crave and think I want popcorn, but there's that association that's going on. I've conditioned yourself. And so like you said, your expectation for eating is really like that's like what you're feeling, more than not. I doubt that you've been away from food long enough
Starting point is 00:31:44 to really experience what hunger hunger is. We're so disconnected from the actual signals that our body sends us that we think we're hungry when we're not. We may just be thirsty. We may just be bored. Just have a creative. If I'm at home and I have nothing to do, which really ever happens, but if they have
Starting point is 00:32:02 a day off and I'm at home, I'll eat more, just because I have nothing else to do. I'm kind of bored and I recognize that. So it's a good question, but I'll tell you this. Well, we also have to define what need means. Because do we mean our body actually needs it because we've ran at a glucose? Is that what we mean by need? And so we're now, but we know what happens
Starting point is 00:32:27 when that happens, right? When we tap out of that, our body now starts to use, yeah, right, ketones and fat as a source for fuel, which that's not a bad thing whatsoever. And in fact, we should probably be trying to put ourselves in that position more often than not. So, you know, what do we need by need? Now, if you're somebody who has a goal of bulking and building muscle, and that's your
Starting point is 00:32:51 primary goal, well, and you've completely deplete and you become catabolic, it's not advantageous for somebody who's trying to build muscle. So that person, those signs of hunger is probably a good sign to tell you that, hey, you need some more fuel or more food because you're probably running low. But that's because your goal is to build and you want to be in a surplus more often than not. But if you're the average person who's looking for health or is trying to lose body fat, I mean, we're probably trying to flirt with this feeling of hunger more times than not.
Starting point is 00:33:25 You are. And real physical hunger doesn't come on suddenly. It's kind of a gradual build. And so the reason why I'm explaining this is because a lot of times you'll eat breakfast or you'll eat lunch and then a few hours later, like, oh my god, I'm starving. That's not real hunger. That's probably more of an emotional type of hunger where emotional hunger comes on very set in.
Starting point is 00:33:48 It's more of a craving. You can also ask yourself this question, oh my God, I'm so hungry, I'm starving. I want to eat this burger, I want to eat this whatever. Would you have that same feeling if I put a bunch of carrots or celery in front of you or something that's not necessarily palatable? If you still feel that same that feeling,
Starting point is 00:34:07 then you know that it's real hunger and not just a craving for something because we've all been in that situation where we just ate a meal, someone put something sweet in front of us and now we feel like, oh, I'm hungry for that ice cream or I'm hungry for that dessert, which is again, more of that emotional connection.
Starting point is 00:34:24 I recommend this, if you're healthy, if you're healthy and you get cleared by your doctor and everything's okay, I would say, go on a prolonged fast. That will reset how you connect to some of these signals. Big time, like if you could do like a good 24 to 48 hour fast, then you can start to really identify what real hunger is and what actual, what just cravings are.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Well, also eye opening for me, like, because even just getting into workouts and not fueling myself before workouts, like I had to literally go through a 24 hour fast to understand that, you know, like I can, I can power through this and I'm gonna be fine. You know, just to experience, just to step out of like your ritual that you've, you're so hardwired in the way that you eat for so long. It's like your body expects, you know, okay, well I expect the meal here and I expect the meal here and it's to interrupt that.
Starting point is 00:35:20 It's really liberating. Yeah, I think a lot of where this question stems from too is the old myth of, you know, if I'm starving like this, will my body start to metabolize muscle and will that start falling off my body, right? Like, because even if this person wants to lean out, they probably want to lean out, but hold on to as much lean body mass as they possibly can.
Starting point is 00:35:40 And quite frankly, if you're a hungry and you're not pushing and exercising or doing any strenuous exercise, your body is not gonna utilize muscle to get you through the rest of the day, not at all, especially if you're not. It takes a while before the time. Not only does it take a while,
Starting point is 00:35:54 but then it also takes you pushing the body, right? Because you're not really doing anything for it, to want to utilize, but it's this muscle's an expensive tissue, it's not a place it wants to go. I think old school myth is that, you know, if you, you know, don't eat and the body goes into starvation mode and then it starts to eat away at your muscle. I mean, I remember giving that terrible advice because I thought that's what how it worked and it's not how it works at all. I mean, you sold them bars. Yeah, yeah. No, exactly. Right. Then you would tell them, hey, when you start to get hungry,
Starting point is 00:36:23 have a small snack or a bar to make sure that doesn't have been, well, that's all a bunch of bullshit. And honestly, there's more health benefits than from you, probably finding this place of hunger every once in a while, pushing through that and then realizing like, oh, it wasn't that bad for me to do that, which is why we advocate fasting every day. Intermittently. I was just going to say, I mean, for the most part, humans forever, for almost all the time we've been on Earth, cause it's very short period of time
Starting point is 00:36:49 that we've been on Earth, we've had all this food available to us. We went on average, we would go, you know, a day, two days, three days, a week, two weeks without food, all the time. This wasn't, and this is something that people have, people who are born in modern times who live in these, you know, modern, wealthy societies probably have never gone longer
Starting point is 00:37:12 than 24 hours without food. And if they did, it was because they were sick or something like that. Like, most people, if you go up to someone, you ask them, hey, have you ever gone three, you know, 72 hours without food? They'll say, no, most people, no one's ever experienced that. I remember the first time I did a prolonged fast, I felt hungry initially, but it wasn't real hunger. Looking back, it was more like, oh my God, I need to eat. Once I got past that, I'm not gonna lie,
Starting point is 00:37:38 I didn't have hunger. Like after 48 hours, I'm like, whoa, I feel like I could go another 48 hours. And I made myself eat because I had only planned on doing a 72 hour fast. But I felt like I could go much longer. I didn't experience this starving, feeling at all. The other thing you want to consider too is you may be associating the feeling of being stuffed with being satisfied.
Starting point is 00:38:03 And what I mean by that is, I can't tell you how many times I would have a client eat, or even I experienced this myself, where you would eat a meal and be like, oh, I'm not full yet. I think I need to eat more food. And the problem with that is that I had associated this stuffed feeling with being satisfied.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Like, at the end of my meal, I needed one of that stuff. That's been one of the hardest things for me to break to this day. I still catch myself. It's a hard habit to break. And I think more people than we realize have the same issue and they don't even realize it is we tend to do this is where we eat until you feel that like your body telling you like, okay, that's too much. Okay, that's enough. Yeah. Learning for me to manage my portion controls, this is also again, and I know that, you know, there's two sides to this, right?
Starting point is 00:38:53 Where we talk about weighing and measuring food and portion control that people can get crazy with that and that can become unhealthy also, but it did teach me a lot about what I actually, my body actually needed and what I should be consuming versus my old way of consuming food, which is eat until my body says, okay, that's enough.
Starting point is 00:39:14 And like finishing your plate, when I probably could have ate three ounces less of that, two ounces less of that, and that ended up adding up to be four, 500 extra calories. Yes, interesting. Being over like, like the same thing. I've struggled with that, like, to where you want to feed yourself to where you feel like, okay, I'm full. Like, I've eaten all that and then, you know, carrying that around, like, I've just, you know, recently the last two, three years realized that like, okay, if I, if I've eaten a substantial meal, like, I don't need,
Starting point is 00:39:44 I don't even need to eat the next meal, even. Like, there's parts where like, okay, if I've eaten a substantial meal, like I don't need, I don't even need to eat the next meal, even. There's parts where I understand when I'm over-saturated, like that's really where the problems start to come out with the heartburn and with like the, all this extra stuff that's going on with my body trying to process this, it's like stressing it out, you know, internally.
Starting point is 00:40:02 And so like I'm just messing with that alone has really helped. So, how may times as someone said to you, when you're eating over their house or whatever, like, do you still have any room? Do you still want to, can you eat more? Would you like some more? And you think to yourself, like, I think I can fit a little more in.
Starting point is 00:40:15 I can't do that. Like it's a thing, like you need to stuff yourself. You know, do you know something that's helped me out with that? And we recently discussed this. You remember when you and I got into the whole water debate on here, right? And again, I'm always one who likes to, you know, push myself on my comfort zone or challenge my own way of thinking, listen to that. And so, you know, something I've never really tried to do is eat my meals with no fluid.
Starting point is 00:40:39 And man, that has, it really forces you to chew the fuck out of each bite. Makes a big difference. Yeah, you cannot just shovel the food down because the only way I could do that, and I realize this now, because of course I've had some days where I go back to having fluid with it, but I've done it enough now to be very aware of the difference
Starting point is 00:40:58 and there's a major difference when I've got a drink and I'm eating, it's crazy, you just have this habit of you taking a couple bites and then you find yourself washing it down. You're taking it like pills, like you're literally biting it into something you could swallow with water, like you're taking it like supplements with your food.
Starting point is 00:41:15 When in reality, you need to, you're liquefying it was what you're supposed to do. That is literally, that is a big part of digestion is in your mouth when you're chewing your food. And so if you don't fully chew your food, you're cutting out a big part of digestion is in your mouth when you're chewing your food. And so if you don't fully chew your food, you're cutting out a big part of your food. And I challenge somebody to over consume without water or something to wash it. Some sort of a flu to wash it. It's fucking hard.
Starting point is 00:41:38 It's amazing how hard it's been. I find myself like fuck. I don't want to eat anymore. My mouth is so dry. I want some fluid. I'm like, no, no. I'm myself like, fuck, I don't wanna eat anymore. My mouth is so dry. I want some fluid. I'm like, no, no. I'm gonna choke all the time, dude.
Starting point is 00:41:49 That was a big problem, man. He's like, oh, you know, just eating it big and fast. And that's a part of this whole, what I keep talking about where the signals have been so, we have skewed and fucked up our signals so much that we don't even know how to read them. Like, that's one of them. One of them is, if you're eating food
Starting point is 00:42:07 without water readily handy right next to you or soda or whatever, and you're having to chew the hell out of it, like you're supposed to, and then swallow it so that you don't choke or whatever, like that is also helping your body signals be more accurate as well, because it's gonna tell you, okay, you've eaten enough, you know, you don't need to eat more.
Starting point is 00:42:24 But if you're washing, I washing, you're losing better. Dude, when I used to stuff my face, that's why I learned to eat that way, by the way. I learned to eat with the big glass of water next to me. Yeah, because you had to shovel it down. Because I was always trying to gain weight. And it was literally like, I could eat way more, I can eat 12 ounces of dry chicken breast
Starting point is 00:42:40 if I just wash it down with water. And if I sit here and have to chew on it. And so again, that's just one of those signals. So yeah, I would say slow down, try fasting, start to really become in tune with your body eat until you're about 50 to 60% full with your meal. Think of it that way. I had to do that for a little while to where I ate and I said, okay, I'm about 60% full. I'm going to stop eating.
Starting point is 00:43:05 And then you start to become more connected to these signals and it becomes easier to know when you're actually hungry versus when you're just having an emotional, you know, when you're emotionally hungry, which is something totally different. Quick commercial break, you guys. We keep getting asked all the time, how can I support the mind pump family? Here's one of the best ways you guys can. You guys love that chimic coffee that we have. Chimeric coffee with a K, you go to chimeric coffee.com, put in the discount code Mind Pump for
Starting point is 00:43:31 10% at the checkout. If you guys have not tried Ben Greenfield's new bars out there, fantastic. If you want some, go to Ben Greenfield Fitness.com forward slash Nature Bite, put in the code Mind Pump and get 10% off. Go check it out. All right, and next question is from Eat, Sweat, Sleep, and Repeat. Advice for long distance relationships.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Oh wow. We got to summon the wizard, fuck. Well, we'll put back the wizard. Are you ready for it? Don't have them. Yeah. Waste of time. Man, I tell you what, I feel like my advice on this probably would have
Starting point is 00:44:07 has changed over time, like what I would think. I had my first like high school sweetheart, she went off to Cal Poly, why I stayed back home and went to junior college. So for about a year and a half there, we were in a long disins relationship and a lot of lot of gas money went to driving down their own weekends and speeding tickets of getting there. It was about a three and a half, four hour drive. So it was the same thing. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:44:34 So it wasn't like super long distance. I mean long enough to where we don't see each other every night and I'd be driving down there every weekend that I could. That was probably one of the most stressful relationships I've ever been in my life. For sure, most challenging on so many levels. Now mind you, I was only about 20 years old. I think around that time, 20, 21, somewhere around there. Maybe even a little bit younger, 19 actually. And I think that I would have totally handled that differently. She was a beautiful girl going to go off to college in a sorority and I was hanging on to her and wanting to keep her as close as possible and she was probably going
Starting point is 00:45:13 through that phase in her life where she was going to spread her wings a bit and freedom and she was moved out from her parents. For first, he would go there. Maybe a little bit. And you guys weren't having sex either, right? Yeah, no, I was a virgin at this time. So, so she went away. Yeah, yeah, two college heart girls. Oh, it's attention. Not having sex. Yes. That was it. Oh, I mean, I have store, I have stories of us being on the phone, being on the phone on like a Thursday night at like midnight, you know, talking back when you remember when you were that old, you talked on the phone with your girlfriend for like an hour. Like, you can't get me on the phone period, much less for fucking five minutes, much less.
Starting point is 00:45:50 I know you think about all the, what did you talk about? Oh, it did mean that's just stupid, right? Stupid. So I mean, talking on the phone for an hour, what about that, and you know, you'd be like midnight and like, and she lived in the dorms the first year or so.
Starting point is 00:46:03 What would be the end of it? You know, I was like, face time, is that what the kidss the first year so you know now it's like FaceTime is that the kids probably yeah So removed snatch chaps snatch chaps yeah so okay So we'd be on the phone and like somebody would dudes would bus through her door and you'd hear him like jump on her bed tickling her and stuff So we're in a god he's Yeah swear to God God I'll see you at the kangaroo Literally just like that I'd be on the phone you know
Starting point is 00:46:34 It was pretty like oh I miss you so much I got some gel shots for you Hang up with your door Phone drops you giggling and shit like that I'm sitting on the other side waiting for Mark stop tickling Oh totally totally like that bro, and then she gets back on the phone I'm like what's it? What's that who's that who fuck was that guy? Oh, that's just that's just Stephen and Richard from down the hall And he's my study buddy. Yeah, yeah totally totally that stuff man, and so I was just like
Starting point is 00:47:01 Pulling my hair out as a kid, you know, it's probably why I'm losing my hair now, right? All the same exact shit. So, you know, all this stuff, I mean, obviously, you know, it grew me into the man. How'd you guys break up? Did she end up cheating on you or something? Kind of, kind of, yeah, kind of like that. So the short version I'll give you is, obviously,
Starting point is 00:47:20 we had that was just one small example of what I was going through all the time, right? And it finally gets to the point where she obviously wanted to move on but then we had so much history together. She didn't have like the guts to like break it completely off and I should have been, I'm a young man, not smart. The older wise, you're in love, dude.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Right, right, right. So yeah, exactly. So I don't want to let go. And I remember her coming back one time to visit me and we went to dinner. And I think I've told you guys this story. I don't know if I showed us a mind pump before, but she left me that night to go to our friend's house
Starting point is 00:47:59 and she was like, I'll call you later and we'll meet up. You know, it was back in the days too, when you're like, you know, you're gonna sneak around to see your girlfriend and she's like, that's you could fool around the car or some shit. So, you know, she's like, I'll call you later and we'll meet up. You know, it was back in the days too when you're like, you know, you get a sneak around to see your girlfriend and she's like, that's you can fool around the car or some shit. So, you know, she's like, I'll call you and I get to my girlfriend's house and spending the night there.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Why fell asleep with the phone to my ear? Never heard from her or my page or everything that we had. And I feel so bad for you. And like, two o'clock of the morning, it's okay, this is totally a good story. So, two o'clock of the morning, the phone rings and I answer it and it's her mom.
Starting point is 00:48:24 And her mom's like, hey, where's Emily? And I'm like, I don't know. And she's, and you're a good kid. So you're like, she's hurt. I need to find her. Well, so I go, I go, well, you know, she went to Kyra's house and she's like, well, no, I call Kyra, she's not there.
Starting point is 00:48:37 And so then I freak out. I'm like, oh my God, well, that's where she was supposed to be, she's not there. So I tell her, mom, like, I'm coming over now. So I get in the car, I race over, I go pick her mom up. And then at that moment, it dawns on me that there was, I knew there was like an upper-classmen party that was in town. And I'm like, and I knew like she was like the hot girl in school. So all the older guys liked her and shit. So that was something I dealt with even too back then when we were in school, like all the college
Starting point is 00:48:58 guys liked her when she was still in high school. And now there was this, this party in town. And I'm like, like fuck I bet you she go so we roll up there sure shit her car is there and only her car is there nobody else's lights are all out house and so I like let her mom out and her I followed her mom being totally dude and so her mom she bangs on the door forever mom trying to wait finally finally her she calls her mom and her mom goes back and picks her up or whatever and takes her home and that was pretty much the end of our relationship because after that we fucking broke up of course right so it was so drunken he was so nice let me in you sleep and those guys were so nice did you see do you know what she looks like now
Starting point is 00:49:41 absolutely no I'm still attached to her on I I see her on my Instagram. Does she look good still or she look all, is she fat now? Well, she's, I'm proud of this important. Yeah, we need, we need like, I want to feel good right now. No, no, no, she's, she's pretty, she's, she's always been into working out,
Starting point is 00:49:55 so she's kept herself in pretty good shape. She's had, she's also on kid number three, I believe right now. So yeah, she's been the guy who she, after we broke up, she got with this guy and was with the same guy ever, ever since then. So she, oh yeah, they've been a good forever and now have three kids. And I, I remained in contact with her for many years
Starting point is 00:50:11 afterwards, we still, even though that was a bad breakup, we still stayed, you know, somewhat friends like I've told the guy, what's it go there? It's over. But yeah, so the long, the long distance thing, honestly, and I don't know. I feel like there's pluses and minuses. Well, I think it really depends on where you're at
Starting point is 00:50:27 in your life and with this relationship. Because if you're somebody who, like looking back now, that was the stupidest thing I could ever done. As a young kid, you should be wise. You're not wise enough then, but I should have been talking to my younger self. I would have told myself, like, let her go. You know, let her go.
Starting point is 00:50:42 If you're really lover, there's, and I know it's cliche to say this, but they say, you know, if you love something you really love her There's and I know it's cliche to say this but they say you know if you love something set it free And if it returns it's meant to be right? I really believe that I believe that People really kill relationships by hanging on to things like if you really love each other like distance Isn't gonna stop that you guys this connection to each other what is gonna happen though is the stress of Not seeing each other where you at last night though is the stress of not seeing each other where you at last night, who are you with? All that stuff takes an incredible relationship
Starting point is 00:51:12 and it destroys it because of all the insecurities that and when really when you have to learn to look at yourself when you have these situations, like, I'm sure the guy is coming in and tickling her on the phone. You know, everybody's like, oh, you know, we could blame her all day, but you know, Shayne, what do you care? She's in college.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Like she's a, she's a freshman in college. Like she's like, why would I ever wanna, why would I ever wanna get in the way of her having the most amazing experience? And if that means letting guys come in your room and midnight and tickle you, then fucking who am I to say otherwise? Like, and how's that, how's that having effect
Starting point is 00:51:42 on our lives? But then that, you reflected on that though, I had the same experience and it was like, I actually decided, no, I'm just gonna leave, I gotta figure myself out and that was the best thing ever because that relationship was the same thing. I was holding on to it so hard. This is my comfort space.
Starting point is 00:52:00 And it's like, once you get away from that, every relationship sense was like, I'd, I said this piece about it. Like, you can do your thing, you be with me if you want. You know, like, or not, you know, like, let's, let's establish that right away and like have communication with that. I feel like there's pluses and minuses, right? Like, I think the minuses, like what you guys are talking about. And then the pluses, maybe if you're older, you know, both people have jobs and mature, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:27 I feel like there may be some positives to it as well because it could allow you the time to be super independent at the same time. You know what I'm saying? If you were to do it, I'm talking about the positive. Well, I have a client, I have one client who is 50. She's, oh my God, I don't wanna fuck a bridge. We're just gonna say she's 50 because I don't wanna go to 49. Right, she's, oh my God, I don't wanna fuck up her age. We're gonna say she's 50,
Starting point is 00:52:45 because I don't wanna go to 49. 49, that's the same. 49, I have two clients in their late 40s, early 50s, that both are in long distance relationship. Not really long, the guy lives over in Oakland and the other one lives over in San Francisco and they both live here. And they've been together for like seven years
Starting point is 00:53:04 and they don't see each other during the week, they see each other in the weekends. Now, they are extremely independent women. One of them owns nine McDonald's, the other one is successful in real estate, flies and travels all over the place. That's what I could see. So they have, and we talk about all the time,
Starting point is 00:53:18 I always asked them like, you know, if they, oh, do you guys wish you see it? You know what? Honestly, we've done these days where we're together during the week, and I could totally relate to this because I'm very much so this guy. She's like, you know what, when we're together on a weekday, he's so consumed by work
Starting point is 00:53:33 that I'm not getting any one-on-one attention from him anyways and I'm doing my thing anyway. So it's like, it's not that big of a deal. And then when we get to see each other, we miss each other so much from the week that we spend all the time with each other. And we weren't expecting it. That's what I'm saying, I feel like.
Starting point is 00:53:47 I feel like you could have, if you do it right, and you're mature enough, and that's what I mean by that. Like I could never do this as a kid. I could never do this as a young kid. I can't have to be mature. Way too many insecurities. Now, obviously now with my girl now,
Starting point is 00:54:00 it'd be difficult because we live together, but let's just say, I was single, I got my kids, we got the business. I could see how this, there could be some benefits, right? Because you could focus on, you could be independent, and then like you said on the weekends, now you get to have your time. Well Katrina would be great when I talk to you
Starting point is 00:54:17 because I'm actually her first boyfriend that has ever been local. For 30 something years, she has always dated men either in business and motivated right out of state and or at least out of city where she's date. That's how she's always data guy. She's never wanted to be around somebody that often where she's like and that was for those reasons. They would always just be in her business. She has, she's too independent to have somebody in her shit all the time, and she really enjoyed
Starting point is 00:54:47 the long distance relationships until I came along. So before that, so I think there can be great stuff to long distance. To me, it depends on your age, depends on where you're at with that current relationship. I think there's a lot to be said about having the confidence of not allowing the distance to cause all the stuff that it's inevitable will come. Like you will have, you have to be pretty secure. Yes, you're gonna have moments of insecurity.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I don't care how old you are, there will be moments where because you're so far away from each other, where were you at last night? Why didn't you call me back of this? Or I feel like you don't want to come see me because you've been so busy with work and what's going on and who's the new guy that you're working with now?
Starting point is 00:55:29 I mean, there's so many things that are going to happen. And if you find yourself, you know, becoming this jealous guy or girl because of all these situations, to me, that's where this long, this relationship becomes unhealthy. And at that point, if you really love this person, you're probably better off stepping away from it because really if you're that connected, you love each other that much, if you move away from each other and allow each other to go their separate ways, you'll eventually
Starting point is 00:55:55 find each other again, I guarantee you, most people don't have the cajonas to do that to where they're too scared, they're too afraid that if you walked away from this, you're gonna lose it forever. And if you're in that kind of relationship, it's probably you're not gonna... Yeah, you're probably not good at your time. You're not in a healthy situation. That's how you feel anyway.
Starting point is 00:56:13 So that's my shitty advice there. You're not gonna be stupid. Experts ask. Go for it, love! Everything. Bet on love. Next up is Ashley Ferri reus do you think it is legitimate that to be great at a sport you need to start at a young age what
Starting point is 00:56:32 do you mean by great probably professional level not husky yeah you know you know no specialization definitely no because there is tons of stories Michael Jordan when did he start playing basketball? Not till high school, dude. Yeah, well that's the only one that is not so Bro young when people say young, okay, they're talking about like five six years old Tiger Woods was playing golf at Was this epidemic of parents getting fucking crazy with this right? There's a special There's a you know, feet kids. Yes, Mark Bell and as Chris Bell and him did one called trophy kids great documentary on this exact Getting extreme like going way overboard because parents turn into these trying to live by carousel through their kid
Starting point is 00:57:14 It's like how they it's the same that you see with those pageants, you know the moms with the pageant girls How unhealthy that can become become unhealthy when parents start to put their kids in sports because they want them to be successful versus the kid really wanting to. Then it gets weird because it's like your identity, you know, through your kids, it's like, you know, whatever they did, like it should amount to what you did, you know, and your experience like with the sports and all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, this has been one of those things for me, like I always think about because I am totally like, I can identify like those signs like way ahead for me, like I always think about, because I'm totally like,
Starting point is 00:57:45 I can identify those signs way ahead of time. Like, oh my God, I'm getting into this. I want this for them, and I want them to experience it the way I did, and like this, and so I've been very cautious to embed myself into their process with this, versus like really observe, really observe, and then embed myself into their process with this versus like really observe, really observe
Starting point is 00:58:06 and then interject myself where I feel they're looking for advice, they're looking for help, they're looking to play catch with me. They're seeking these things from me and it's just starting to happen. You know what I think, the reason why this happens is I think people or parents believe that this plays a bigger role in their child being great as sport than it actually does.
Starting point is 00:58:29 It will, okay. I'm saying. So it'll, here's where it will matter. It's there. It's not. So if you have a seven-year-old kid and you get him and him or her into their sport right away, right? And you get, so my uncle's an example of this like so he's had my cousins training with the quarterbacks who fucking trained Steve Young and he was paying out all his money to have the best of the best coaches around them. They were in all the leagues year round. And one of them ended up playing just through high school. The other one went off to college, went off to a D1 school and played all four years in college,
Starting point is 00:59:05 and then nothing after that. Now, I think that getting them involved at that young age helped them excel at the youth football, right? But genetically, nothing that my uncle could do with his school was going to take my cousin to the professional level of football. And that's where you, when you get to the, when you talk about pros, understand what those levels mean. Right, you not only do you have to have the work ethic, not only did you start probably years before, but you also have the genetics.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Like you have, this is where the genetic component comes in. So much, and I talk about this a lot, I throw out the whole swimming thing with me, right? Like I've never been taught or trained how to swim properly, but yet I have this gift to get in a pool and I could swim pretty damn well for someone who doesn't know how to do it. And so it had I been trained at an early age I probably could be at a higher level. Now I probably could never have got to the Olympic level or crazy because maybe I just don't have it genetically there. Maybe I have a little bit more of a genetic advantage than Justin or Sal at swimming in a pool, but not quite enough to be Michael Phelps status, right? So, you know, there's,
Starting point is 01:00:15 there's, they both play a role, but when you talk about getting a kid into that you're trying to hope that one day they play a pro, genetics are going to play the largest role. Yep. And you know what you find more often than not? When people, parents put their kids in sports with the idea that my kid's gonna be a great football player one day or a great baseball player one day, is more often than not, you see kids who grow up to hate what they used to do.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Absolutely. I know, I had clients like this. I had clients who their parents put them in swimming or gymnastics or something else at an early age and it was like this. We're going to make you great type of thing. And once these kids grew up and graduated from high school or college, they never wanted a fucking step foot in it again. I have a friend who takes over their identity. That's what I'm saying. I have a friend who competed in synchronized swimming at a very
Starting point is 01:01:09 high level. In fact, she was an Olympic alternate. Okay. She now has daughters and her daughters take to the water like fish and she's like, fuck man, I hope they don't want to do. She hates it so much. She hopes her kids don't want to do secret swimming because she was forced to do it so much as a kid. And that's what you see more often than not. Now, here's, you gotta also look at the payback or whatever potential dividends you may get. Let's say you take your kids and you put them in sports
Starting point is 01:01:39 at a young age and you're thinking you're gonna make them great. The odds of them getting a lot of benefit from that are actually pretty small. They're definitely gonna get good at their sport, better than most kids because they're at a young age. The odds of them actually making a living of doing it are still tiny.
Starting point is 01:01:55 Now, if you took that same effort and had your kids learn something like other language, other language, whatever. It's a good point. Again, they may not be a Steve Jobs or some of the tech wizard, but they're gonna get a lot more out of it. We could debate this a little bit, because I could, but then again,
Starting point is 01:02:12 you're putting them in academics. So then I think that's a good, that's a very good recommendation, right? Because there's all kinds of stats to show kids that play sports. Yeah, oh, those benefit for sure. They get higher grades, they stay at a trouble. Yeah, they stay those benefit for sure. I'm just saying they get higher, they get higher grades. They, they, uh, they, uh, they stay at a trouble.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Yeah, they stay at a trouble. They're less likely to do drugs. There's all these great stats to show how, how positive it is. The growth of the people. Right. Yes. Right. There's lots of great benefits to starting a kid in sports
Starting point is 01:02:38 at a very young age. I think just as a parent, you have to have a healthy relationship with that and them and understanding that like. So I think that, I wish my parents got me. I didn't start basketball until I think I was in seventh or eighth grade. I wish I was playing at five because I think I would have been a better high school player had I done that. Now, do I think that would have taken me to the collegial level or even pros?
Starting point is 01:02:58 Definitely not. Just because I don't have it. I don't have. I could have been pretty, I could have been that much better in high school, but I don't think I would have been better enough to go to the elite level. So you're really helping your kid out with that. Like he's probably gonna be better at the high school level,
Starting point is 01:03:12 maybe college level because you started him at a very early age or her at a very early age, but the likelihood of you making the difference of them going pro or not, they got it or they don't got it. I think too, I mean, there's an argument too, as you specialize completely, how you're just destined for all these imbalances, even earlier on set. Oh my God. So we talked about this with Kelly Starer.
Starting point is 01:03:36 That's what I was going to bring up. Yeah, he was even mentioning what coaches are now seeking, more players that have more of a diverse background with different sports and unique skills because all that stuff helps to provide. The joints will move better and operate more efficiently longer terms. Careers are a very short live for people that specialized. My uncle, who I keep referring to also coaches Little league football and I used to love to go watch him coach these little guys and they're they're he would coach six seventh and eighth graders
Starting point is 01:04:12 And you know at that level he used to just whoop the shit out of all the other coaches to and my uncle just loves he's super competitive And you know his magic that he would say, is really in the simplicity. He says, you know, I teach these kids all season long, three to four fucking plays. And they know those daily south sort of. Absolutely. And he's a huge fan of daily south. And he drills this home. And then it is.
Starting point is 01:04:39 It's like, and I remember I'd come, like I just watched last year. And I came watch his season. And he always points out like who the kids are. You know, he's like watch 17, watch five, watch three. And they're just gonna, and they're just gonna run the same plate and then you see these kids that, you know, they're not doing anything like super smart on the field, like knowing the field really well.
Starting point is 01:04:57 It's just they're athletically gifted. They're just, they're a step faster than every other child. And he could put him at quarterback, he could put him at running back, he could put him at corner back, he could put him at safety, he can put him at running back, he can put him at cornerback, he can put him at safety, he can put him in any position in the field, and they separate themselves.
Starting point is 01:05:09 And that's not because those kids, it's mindless. Yeah, they're just, they have a step on everybody, and that's the genetic component that. Yeah, as a coach, you can argue at that level, at the high school level,
Starting point is 01:05:19 that's gonna win you the most games, right? Cause, you know, like, and that's what I experienced too, going from high school and into college, it's like, you know, like, and that's what I experienced too, going from high school and then to college, it's like, you know, I only had to know, like, basically, maybe like four or five people's positions on the field, what they're responsible for, and like, you know, the zones and all that kind of stuff. And like what was happening in the play versus college,
Starting point is 01:05:38 you have to know every single person, what everybody's doing, every single play. And then like everybody in the huddle, we have to know what everybody's doing. So that way everything runs efficiently. And it's like way more complex, way more film to break down, way more like it's so much more sophisticated. But you know, there's something to that simplicity, you know, in that level, it works. So I feel like when you say something like that, what goes from I had an answer in question like this, I think, so if you have a kid who naturally takes to a sport
Starting point is 01:06:08 and they love it, I think the best thing that you can do is to encourage the repetitions and the practice and the running the plays and like that's probably what's going to get them to excel or be better than anything else. If they've got the talent, they have the gift and they love to do it, is to then guiding them in the the direction trying to force a kid into a sport because you want them to be good at that sport or you think that they could be good at that sport and in reality it's not a matter of you getting them started a year or two earlier it's really them finding what they're they're they're they're thing that they love the thing that they're passionate about they enjoy and they have some talent which for
Starting point is 01:06:39 kids it's normally the thing they're good at right like if they want to do it yeah like help them out with that and let them like sharpen their skill with that. Right, right. Right, right. But yeah, just like make sure that they're getting, you know, exposure to all these different things. It's a balancing act as a parent. You have to balance like when you kind of push
Starting point is 01:06:57 and when you don't, because there's definitely times when, you know, you have to set structures and you have to, you know, there's definitely times when you tell your kid know when you tell him, yes, you got to do this and, you know, I'm definitely times when you tell your kid, no, when you tell him, yes, you gotta do this. And I'm gonna push you a little bit. But I think when you, I've seen a lot of parents like this where they go, I've trained these kids. I've trained kids whose parents were like this.
Starting point is 01:07:14 And I kind of cringe sometimes because I see these kids and like this kid is not happy being forced to do these things. They may be good. They may be doing it in a last. It's not gonna last. They don't like it. They're developing a poor relationship with this sport
Starting point is 01:07:28 or with, you know, this being forced to do this. And the second they have the freedom to say no when they become an adult, that's the first thing they're gonna run away from. And so, you know, you kind of got to be careful with a little bit, but as far as starting at a real young age, you know, someone like Tiger Woods, who started so young, whose dad coached him,
Starting point is 01:07:44 he also fucking wanted to do it. Like he loved it. Yeah. Serena Williams and her sister, you know, someone like Tiger Woods who started so young, his dad coach him, he also fucking wanted to do it. Like he loved it. Serena Williams and her sister, you know, the same thing. He's also a bit of a degenerate now too. That's true. That's a good point. That's a very, very good point. Yeah, it's interesting.
Starting point is 01:07:57 I just remember like a statistic. Somebody's telling me like, the like LaCrosse, like how that sport just blew up here in the States because parents didn't know the game. They didn't understand it. So guess what? They can't fucking coach their kids. They're gonna do it. And their kids loved it.
Starting point is 01:08:15 And that was interesting. And they just had fun doing it. They just had fun. I had a, so I have a friend. This is a sad story. And this is kind of related to the question whose parents were Extremely strict and rigid both parents advanced degrees very intelligent
Starting point is 01:08:32 He was a smart kid too. I mean the kid always got straight A's hardworking kid, but his parents were always on him pushing him harder and harder To perform academically and he was validated Dorian got got to a private college, great SAT scores, ended up getting a PhD, got a job, got laid off, was unemployed for four months trying to find work, and killed himself, committed suicide, actually wrote a suicide note and blamed it all on and I felt so bad for his parents, but blamed it all on the environment that it grew up and worse. He could not go out as a kid, he can do anything, he would get straight A's, it still wasn't good enough, they pushed him and pushed him and pushed him and he did perform at
Starting point is 01:09:21 an extremely high level, but it cracked him. It, you know, he broke. And I know that's an extreme example of that, but it was very, very sad. I remember hearing all this and it was just like, Oh, man, I felt so bad for his parents who have to now live with the fact that he's broke. Now, no, no fucking parents. Well, okay, son, we're not signing you up for popcorn or this year. Fucking Sal says you're going to kill yourself.
Starting point is 01:09:44 It just reminded me of, you know, of this conversation. But it was, I know. We did. We did. We did to press everybody. Sorry. We're gonna be a long Doug. Yeah. Damn it. Hey kids, play video games all day. I just heard Sal tell us all right. Get in there and read.
Starting point is 01:09:58 Quick commercial break. Hey, people ask us all the time how they can support mind pump. Here's what you can do. You can go to www.brain.fm-minepump and get 20% off Brain FM for meditation or focus. You can also go to audible-trial.com-minepump and get a 30-day trial plus one free audiobook. Lastly, you can go to goodgetnatureblend.com- slash MindPump and you will get a discount on Ben Greenfield's CBD product. Next up is Shrelle W. How do you guys deal with performance anxiety?
Starting point is 01:10:34 Like in the bed? Yeah, I don't know. I yell at it. I'm like, you perform or maybe they do it. Maybe they mean by like the show, like getting in front of camera, doing all that. Any performance. All performance anxiety I think is the same, right?
Starting point is 01:10:48 It's all anxiety over your own expectations of what you think you need to do or whatever you think other people think. Okay, that should be able to do it. Okay, you can drive. Yeah, I know I'm having the, I'm like having the visual of like looking down at your dick talking to it right now,
Starting point is 01:11:03 like freaking out, like, oh my God, come on man. One, two, three, four. Why aren't you working? So this is different from person to person. For me, let's go around here. I mean, to me, I think I was joking about the, I don't think anybody in here has performance anxiety in the bedroom, but I'm sure we've all,
Starting point is 01:11:20 maybe, maybe not, yeah, exactly. If you are, go and share, but maybe I'm sure we've all gone through this. I know we've kind of talked off-air before about what it was like the first time that we stood up in front of an audience of people and talked the first time we got on these microphones. First time we had to do YouTube. And there was some of this performance anxiety,
Starting point is 01:11:41 I think, you could classify it out by drinking a lot to deal with it. All right. We did. That's our answer, that was it. No, it was. And you know, it's funny, as I remember, I remember feeling that we had to do that to settle down.
Starting point is 01:11:56 And I really feel like it's the numbing part of that, right? You're trying to settle the mind down. And so you're trying to numb it with, or be through cannabis, or having a couple of drinks, whatever, that's what we used to do before our show before we got on the mics. But then it got to a point where we had done it enough that there was no longer anxiety, but then we still had the habits of doing that. And I realized that I liked
Starting point is 01:12:18 I'd like to show much better when we were 100% sober so that we made the transition the other direction, right? And then the occasional now, but I never really felt, um, I think the YouTube was probably the hardest for me. YouTube is still to this day. YouTube is weird. Yeah. It's still YouTube and Insta story for me is still awkward as fuck. And I try not to feel awkward when I do it so it doesn't come off that way and it's just weird to me talking to a phone by myself or having like Doug just like videoing us and like talking like you're talking to potentially tens of thousands or even million people on on YouTube and and it just feels weird you know I feel like standing up in front of it, like when we go to a seminar, or I did that for,
Starting point is 01:13:08 I didn't see their eyes and get feedback. Yeah, and I did that for when we worked at 24, I mean, that was something that was a very regular thing that I had to do where I had to do hold these seminars. So I got really comfortable with standing in front of an audience and talking to people, plus I've always been an outgoing person and I've never been uncomfortable in situations like that.
Starting point is 01:13:25 When I'm getting feedback from people, immediate feedback, like they're facial expressions like you're saying Justin and laughter or like, huh, or like, that stuff helps me communicate. He's in your tweak and alter your messages. And this is why I think I struggle with InStoStory and YouTube so much is there's no immediate feedback. As I'm talking and whatever
Starting point is 01:13:46 message I'm delivering, it just, it feels weird because I don't know if it's getting through, I'm running on, whatever. You know what I'm saying? Where you get that when you're in a live audience. I learned a big lesson with this a long time ago, competing in, I did a few competitions in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and I would get really, really hyped. Well, I try, you did say you should do it all. And then I'd get anxious, and before the match, and then I'd be exhausted when I'd have the match.
Starting point is 01:14:16 And I was in fit, I was in shape, I had prepared probably better than most people, because I was a fitness professional as well. So I knew what to do on that level, but I'd get so hyped and pumped and for a week before the frickin' match or matches that then I would get exhausted my first match. And I had this shift where I realized
Starting point is 01:14:37 that I should really focus my energy on bringing everything down, because I was already so amped that if I brought myself down through things that were relaxing like massage and going to bed early and quiet music or even meditation that I would perform a lot better. So I think you have to identify what your anxiety feels like. If you feel like you're not confident and you feel scared, then you might need a pump-up.
Starting point is 01:15:06 You might need a confidence boost where you do a power pose or someone slaps you in the face or you have some coffee to give you a little bit of motivation. If you're so amped that you end up like you're too much energy, where you feel shaky or you feel like you're going to start talking too fast, then you might need to do the opposite and bring yourself down. So I think you have to identify what kind of then you might need to do the opposite and bring yourself down So I think you have to identify what kind of anxiety you have and what Adam's talking about When it comes to practice. I mean Frequent exposure will definitely reduce your anxiety. This is a very classic
Starting point is 01:15:37 Technique where if you have a fear of something the more you do it the less you're gonna be anxious So if you are gonna speak in front of crowd, practice your speech in front of people over and over and over and over and over again until you just like you know it like the back of your hand. That will do a lot to reduce your anxiety. Unless you're like me where I get too hyped, in which case, practicing over and over and over again only gets me more and more and more amped to the point where then again, it's too much for me.
Starting point is 01:16:09 So a lot of times what I'll do is I'll forget. I'll purposely not think about what I'm about to do. And then when I get on, then I'm on. I think you said something really key that actually hit home for me listening to you is understanding where and what you're getting the anxiety from. Like, I remember what caused that anxiety for me was the fear of saying something stupid, right? And I think once I accepted that, I'm going to say something stupid and that's totally okay.
Starting point is 01:16:37 And what's the worst thing that's going to happen is someone's going to make fun of me, right? Like the worst thing's going to happen, I'm going to say something completely stupid, but it's not come out right. And everybody is going to make fun of me. And so once you get comfortable with the worst case scenario, then it's not a big deal anymore. Like I just go in like, fuck yeah,
Starting point is 01:16:52 I'm probably gonna say something totally inappropriate, something totally stupid, I'm gonna misspell something, I'm gonna make up a word, I'm gonna say something that's someone, and then people are gonna totally make fun of me for that. So, yeah, so what? Like so the fuck what what is that? What does that mean is that I I mean I think that's what you you have to decide what or figure out what is it that is causing the anxiety and then just be okay with it Like you know I you talk about like going into a judo match or going into a fight with somebody like what is the absolute worst
Starting point is 01:17:22 You know you get beat you lose right you get you know what? If you get beat, you're going to be better the next time, right? Because you're going to learn from that mistake. The same thing, I approach the same thing with or, you know, presenting or talking or getting on YouTube or doing these weird things is, I'm probably going to say something stupid, someone's going to make fun of me. That's great because I'm going to get that out of the way and then I won't do that again. I'm going to do it. You know what I'm saying? So when you start to embrace the worst thing that could potentially happen in this scenario that you're heading into and accept it and anticipate it, then I think you get
Starting point is 01:17:53 more comfortable with it, which is funny because some people will, well, like kind of think about those things like worst case scenario, but then they just dwell on those worst cases. Right. Right. But that's so bad. Like they can't like, yeah, they can't back out of that and like realize that, you know, that's worst case scenario. That's not necessarily a given, you know,
Starting point is 01:18:11 and so you just have to put yourself out there and be okay with it. And even if it does, who cares? Who cares, you know? Like who gonna run, whatever, dude, you like it's like, you're gonna survive. Like everything's gonna be fine. And I mean, obviously like this has been like
Starting point is 01:18:24 an uncomfortable thing, but this has been the MO as the exposure. You know, it's the more times you do things, you know, then it all kind of comes together, you get more comfortable with it, you don't have those same feelings anymore. Like you literally can numb those feelings. And I remember the most anxious I think I've been
Starting point is 01:18:42 was mainly when I would get on stage and I was gonna play music Because like I think it was like you're saying I got so I was so overly amped and it was just like Finally I get to like you know play this cool thing in front of these people They know these people I like I would actually get to the point where my my fingers would like lose strength And I would like lose the pick like the time. And I just be like, and making horrible noises. No, it's happening again.
Starting point is 01:19:10 I had to start just breathing and really work on that because it would mess me up. Like my performance would drop out there. I think that the whole the whole accepting the, you're gonna fuck up deal and it's going to, it's going to eventually get bad sometimes is and being okay with that because that's what makes success and nailing it so more awesome
Starting point is 01:19:37 because you've failed before and you've fucked up and you've been nervous and you've been scared and people made fun of you and this and that. So when you do nail it and when you do win and then there's so much more, if all you ever do is win and every time you do something, you'll say all the right things and you're so perfect about everything you do, it loses its luster, right? So there's, there's beauty in in the fuck up, there's beauty in the failing, there's beauty in all that because when you succeed, it makes it that much better.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Well, that's so interesting to me to watch, like Conor McGregor, just the way that he carries himself with so much confidence, and like having the vision already established and like seeing, you know, all the steps it takes to get to this point, get to this point, but putting himself out to fail, right? And then literally rebounding or just like, you know, like enjoying the process of it
Starting point is 01:20:27 and being like, well, I'll put myself now in this situation and I'm gonna tackle it. It doesn't matter if I win or lose. He's not gonna talk about losing. He obviously is very focused on prevailing but at the same time, he's doing it. He's in there where everybody else won't do it because they can't take the failure part.
Starting point is 01:20:47 I'll tell you what's fascinating is, you know, now we're doing some of these vlogs and stuff on YouTube and I've, there's, we've done a few of them and Justin totally shines. You totally shine when you're being funny and you're by yourself on camera. It's a completely another fucking level of Justin that I've never seen like, that's the only place I've yourself on camera. It's a completely another fucking level of Justin that I've never seen.
Starting point is 01:21:06 That's the only place I've ever felt comfortable. It's weird. And it comes out, there's that one vlog, I think we aired it where he was doing the funny things at the table and he's hiding and all this stuff stuff. And I'm just like, this is a whole fucking level of Justin that I've never seen where you're just, like your pure, I guess your talent comes out.
Starting point is 01:21:23 I'm not comfortable for me being funny on camera, I feel, that's when I feel anxious. If I'm informing, I'm like on fire, I have no problem, or if I'm debating, I'm on fire, no problem. Tell me to be funny, like, okay, so I need to be funny right now, I'm not gonna be funny, and that can be funny, but it's usually on accident, it's not trying to be.
Starting point is 01:21:40 When you do your thing on camera, it's like, what is the difference between that and other stuff where you feel? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think it's, that's been with me ever since childhood. It's like when I'm around like a group of guys or just a group in general,
Starting point is 01:21:55 I feel like this need to entertain and do something to kind of shake it up and be funny or do something crazy. I will put myself on blast. Some reason that to me feels rewarding. So I have definitely always tried working on that. Unintentionally, but I've noticed that that's my go-to. I want to establish that so it's like,
Starting point is 01:22:24 that's something that I can do. I can add this. It seems to me that we take for granted that they're all skills, and we tend to think that, you know, I'm just good at this one, and I'm not good at that one, you know what I'm saying? But I think, like, if I could take the confidence that I have, because I don't have anxiety,
Starting point is 01:22:43 if you tell me to inform or debate on a subject or whatever discuss or even if I'm leading and I'm telling, you know, I have a crew and I'm doing a meeting like that. I have zero fears, zero anxiety. It's all fire. It's all awesome. Again, if you tell me to be funny or perform or do improv or something like that, all of a sudden, I'm this nervous, you know, anxious, not confident individual, but I think there is a way where I could take how I feel about one thing and transfer it together because I know if I felt the same way,
Starting point is 01:23:12 I'd probably be good, you know what I'm saying? So it's kind of, it's interesting that we're talking about this because I'm kind of having a little bit of an epiphany about it where I know I feel good doing this, but not this and why? What's the big fucking deal? I can't have that same feeling. Well, why is it, why is this any different
Starting point is 01:23:26 than the last question where we talked about kids and the genetics that they have, right? This is the same type of, same idea here, right? You have kids where the genetic component is always gonna play a big role. But doesn't mean you can't start early or practice and practice and practice to get better, right? Like so, if you don't have the natural ability
Starting point is 01:23:45 to, you know, get in front of the camera and be funny, then it's not, you just genetically aren't built that way. You're better at informing. It's a natural gift, which we all knew, the minute you turn the camera on, you had a knack for the green screen, and you could just get on there, and you could talk and be very, very informative.
Starting point is 01:24:00 You talk with a lot of empathy, that's a talent of yours, you have. Plus, you've continued to, you know know work at it and get better and better So you really excel at it But then you have this other side where you've never really had you've never gave two shits about being funny or being a Comedic you know on the on the show or you know in front of cameras So you haven't really practiced that but I bet you if you Approach that you practice that you could get pretty damn good. That's why who were we just talking to oh it was Jay when we went down and record with him
Starting point is 01:24:28 He said one of the best things he ever did was doing the enrolling in the improv class Yeah, he says that that has said that several times. Yeah, that's it. That would be a smart thing for you Yeah, and you know, and it's and we talk about it got fuck. I wish we had more time because it's something that we for sure I think you know we can have someone come in here, dude Yeah, we've talked about that. I think that You know, we can have someone come in here, dude. And do you know what we've probably, we've talked about that. I think that, you know, those type of things, right? So, you know, this going back to the original question
Starting point is 01:24:51 of performance anxiety, I think it does matter what we're talking about here. I think we joked about it sexually. I'm assuming this person's talking more about sports and getting on the mic and doing things like that. And to me, it's like, you know, embracing the, embracing the failures. Well, hey, even sexually, even sexually,
Starting point is 01:25:09 you're way more likely to have anxiety the first few times you have sex with someone than after you've been with them for. I had buddies who, actually, one of my, I'm not gonna say who this person is, if I say how unrelated to them, whatever they'll know, time off. But they were in a long relationship,
Starting point is 01:25:27 then they got out of a relationship, young dude, healthy, whatever, met up with this girl, super attracted to her, they liked each other, goes to, they go to have sex, and for the first time in his entire life, at the time he was probably 27 or 28, so he's young. He's like, I couldn't, he goes,
Starting point is 01:25:44 Sally goes, I've never, like not been able to get like a full on boner. He's like, that's never happened to me. He goes, my testosterone low, it's happened like two times in a row. And it's just cause he was fucking nervous. He's like three quarter. He was, he was,
Starting point is 01:25:56 what was working with you? I mean, he was fucking nervous. And he's, and afterwards, he's like, yeah, man, once I got comfortable, like, I was okay. So it's the same thing. It's the same thing, like practice, yeah, man. What's that comfortable like I was okay? So it's the same thing. It's the same thing like practice practice Eventually sometimes pregame eventually you'll get a boner Hey check it out go to YouTube mind pump TV. It's our channel on YouTube a new video every single day
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