Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 717: Vince Del Monte is Reinventing Himself

Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mite, op, mite, op with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. Vince Del Monte has been a, he was a big presence on internet, fitness, sales marketing. One of the OGs, he's brought around the block. For a long time, like back when YouTube was small, he was one of the first ones and built a fitness empire on it and made some enemies on the way along the way. I guess, you know, some people said he, you know, he's one of those, those marketers,

Starting point is 00:00:35 those online marketers. He was up there with, uh, what's his name, Chang of the Mike Chang. Yeah, Mike Chang. You know, abs and all these other people. But since then he's, he's tried to reinvent himself to tackle the fitness industry in a bit of a different way. He's a very interesting individual. I didn't know a lot about him,

Starting point is 00:00:53 except for the guy was like a fitness internet marketer early on. Now you see he starts a podcast, he's doing all these social media posts. He talks a lot about his faith and his family. Seems like an interesting individual, so we scheduled an interview with him and we had a great conversation.

Starting point is 00:01:10 Smart dude, you know, he says a lot of the right things, we've talked all over the place, dude. Yeah, it wasn't just fitness talk, we got into like parenting and self-awareness, we went all over the place with him. And really good guy, man. I think I really like him. We hit it off, and I think it'd be somebody

Starting point is 00:01:27 that we connect with later on again, too. Absolutely. So, Vince Del Monte, you can find him on YouTube, just by looking up his name, Vince, and then Del Monte D L, M-O-N-T-E, his Instagram is at Vince Del Monte, and his website is VinceDelMonteFitness.com. Also, don't forget to check out the show notes

Starting point is 00:01:47 at the end of all of our podcasts. I'm glad you brought that up because I get inboxes daily about people wanting like certain things that we talked about in the episode and the easiest ways to find that you guys is just going directly to the show notes. They'll be direct links for just about anything that we talk about on the show.

Starting point is 00:02:03 That's right. And that's at mindpumpMedia.com. Also, check out our fitness programs, maps. If you're new listening to MindPump, our maps programs are designed for different types of muscle adaptation, aka different types of results. So we have Maps and Abolk, which is excellent for overall muscle size and strength. We have mass performance, which is excellent for overall muscle size and strength. We have maps performance, which is excellent for functional movement ability or what I like to call full spectrum athletic performance.

Starting point is 00:02:33 We also have maps aesthetic, which is for your more body builder or bikini competitor types. Maps anywhere for people who want to work out at home. Then we have correctional programs as well that will help you with muscle imbalances and pain and just overall movement and we have bundles that put them together for more information on any of our maps programs or nutrition programs you also have the intuitive nutrition guide just go to mindpumpmedia.com and without any further ado here we are talking to Vince Del Monte. Our audience what's cool about having someone like you in here because you don't just, you're like us

Starting point is 00:03:07 where you don't just discuss fitness, you share a lot of the entrepreneurship side. So we have a very large audience of aspiring personal trainers or people that just are in entrepreneurship that love to hear stuff like that. So I always love hearing a guy like you who's been successful and some of the things that are working well with you.

Starting point is 00:03:24 So kind of share what you, the big, you said it was saved your business in the last couple of years, a transition that you made in what you do. What was that, what would you call it? Yeah, when you said it saved your, what do you mean by saved your business? Did you notice the decline? And you had to change, yeah, you had to pull a plateau and you had to pivot or change things. I was attracting attention for the wrong reasons. You know. I started making those controversial videos, the stupid vegan gain kind of videos where you're taking a baseball bat to stuff.

Starting point is 00:03:49 And yeah, everyone will watch a baseball bat being taken to a Mercedes Benz, but who's watching? Right. Not people are gonna sign up for our transformation program, right? So you're getting views, but so I lost sight of the vision. You know, I was wrapping my identity around my numbers. You know, clicks are down.

Starting point is 00:04:08 Shoot. How do we get the clicks back up? Okay, we got to start up in the clickbait. Okay. You know, so lost focus, lack of quality control. So, you know, having a brother who's not a marketer, and he's a filmmaker. He's a creative guy. He's looking at, he's a kind of guy that's looking, he's a guy that'll spend two years making a film, which he just did. He'll wait for the story to unfold,

Starting point is 00:04:29 which is what good movie tellers do, like opposed to reality TV. They throw people, I mean, they throw people in a room. They just give him a lot of alcohol. Yeah, or they put him in a house where they have nothing else to do, but to think about the guy. So of course there's gonna be controversy. So of course there's gonna be a good, you know, fake story. I'll be

Starting point is 00:04:48 a story would be enhanced. So he's a kind of guy that looks at work from a standpoint of like, will this stand the test of time? Like, will this series still be good in five years from now? Like are people going to be watching my talking head videos in five, 10 years from now? So he said, like, why don't you put some thought into what you're creating? Like you're creating these videos, but you're just like, you pump them up, pump them up. Like why don't you slow the pace down? Why don't you do one video week?

Starting point is 00:05:12 I'm like, one video week because, you know, Elliot Halls does one a day and his subscriber count from like, you know, a million to two million, or, you know, he blew his account up by doing it like that. And, but then yeah, but then you get burned out. So, and that's what was happening to me. I was getting burned out. I was starting to contradict myself

Starting point is 00:05:30 and the quality just goes down. So. Now since making that switch, have you seen a change now in your numbers? Yes. It's been positive. I've rebuilt my brand. Well, I've rebuilt my name.

Starting point is 00:05:41 You know, I've been able now to embrace Vince as, you know, if you know, I don't know if you guys really know like my whole story, but been able to now embrace Vince as, if I don't know if you guys really know my whole story, but I started off as a fitness expert, but I also got really good at fitness marketing. So I developed a reputation between 2010, 2013. You've been doing this for a long time. Vince is good at fitness.

Starting point is 00:05:58 His information is good with fitness, but he's really good at fitness marketing. So I was seen as a fitness marketer first, fitness expert second, and it took two years to put back on my fitness expert hat and to come in, but I needed a series that kind of set me up as a real fitness expert so we launched Muscle Camp.

Starting point is 00:06:16 And Muscle Camp was where guys came into my home and I trained them. And we had guys travel in, fly in, drive overnight to arrive in the morning time to do three workouts in one day. And that was the theme, three workouts in one day. And I take anywhere from four to 12 guys, do these three different training workouts. And we turned each workout into a YouTube video. So now I don't have to say, hey, people come and learn from me, people get to see that. And now I'm coaching them the same way I would coach,

Starting point is 00:06:46 you know, one-on-one setting. So now people are getting to see me in a different light. And I was able to actually talk normals and post it the way I talk when the camera, okay guys, today we're gonna learn three tips on how to build your biceps. And the first tip, you know, I got rid of that voice and I went into just my normal voice.

Starting point is 00:07:02 And people were like, Vince actually is a pretty cool guy. And I put my fitness expert back on, but I needed like a show, a certain kind of platform to do that. And my brother really helped me with it. What was the response? What were people saying to you when you first came?

Starting point is 00:07:17 I wanna come to Muscle Camp. How do I come to Muscle Camp? Like it was legit. We went to Las Vegas. We did them in the big gyms with all the pro bodybuilders. You know, we done them in powerhouse gym. We've taken over the gym, you've got all these pro body builders and all these dudes, pro athletes working out and I got my guys running around doing three workouts in one day with the film crew and me coaching them and they're like,

Starting point is 00:07:35 who are these guys? You know, like we're not attracting pro body builders, like these guys are natural guys. So it's not like what people are coming, it's real. And so what the show is all based around was showing what it takes to get real results with real people. And, um, yeah, people loved it. And people just simply said, when are you coming to my town? How much is it to show? I mean, I need to charge for it because it was, it was, you know, people could just show up because I turned it into content. That was the value exchange. And people love muscle camp.

Starting point is 00:08:06 Now, you said you competed. So did you, did you stay natural even when you're competing or were you? Oh, so you've been natural, are you lifetime natty? Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know sometimes you can't tell, believe it or not.

Starting point is 00:08:18 But, and now, you've been doing this for a long time. You've been on YouTube for a long time. In the beginning of when people were getting on YouTube, you were one of the first fitness. 2008. Yeah, because I remember that. I remember I know you because, you know, when I'm all when I was on YouTube back in the day, you were one of the only, it was like you and Mike Chang and, you know, he's a six pack guy. I like those.

Starting point is 00:08:38 He goes back there. Yeah, he goes back there too. We got started at the same time. Jeff Cavaliere was a guy who was just getting going. A little before me, our kid named Arnalrica Franco who disappeared. And we didn't really, no one was kind of just doing their own thing back then. You know, if you watch my first 10 YouTube videos,

Starting point is 00:08:53 they're all shot with $150 flip cam in a gym talking head. And that's when I was like, just like, put out anything. And I mean, looking back, it wasn't horrible. It was fine content. It definitely wasn't like, really. It was was just like seen an opportunity to start educating people and you know people gravitated towards it And did you go into it like this is a business? I'm gonna do or was it yeah? I'd already started my online business. Yeah, so I started my online business in 2006. Oh, okay I hired a coach in 2005. It was a six month coaching program and I launched my first ebook,

Starting point is 00:09:25 no nonsense muscle building in 2006. And prior to that, I was a trainer. So I was a trainer for, since I got out of university, which was age of 22. And I was working as a trainer, selling gym memberships, selling personal training. So I wore all hats in the gym. And then I discovered this opportunity with the internet back then. You mentioned Craig Valentine was he,

Starting point is 00:09:48 you know, instrumental in your whole like fitness marketing. Huge. So he was one of the first fitness guys who offered a seminar and this was back in 2000 and I think it was 2007 or 2008 in West Palm, Florida Florida was a $2,000 event, and this was when I was just getting going, and when he announced it, I was like, I need to go. I have to go to this event. And I went to that event, and there was 50 guys there, and he pretty much taught his whole system, and that's where I started meeting a lot of guys who were doing this at a pretty big level.

Starting point is 00:10:23 So you had 22 years old, this is when you were 22 years old, saying, you took money and bought and invested in this thing? No, I didn't hire a coach until 2005. 2005. So I got into the fitness industry just as a career. How are you doing as a trainer? Were you good? Were you a good salesman?

Starting point is 00:10:38 Obviously, if you're probably good marketer, I would assume that you were probably good at salesman. That's where I learned how to sell. When I started off as a trainer. When did you know, to give me a story? I want to hear a story because if you are a sales guy, I'm sure you have the, when, when did you get that? Yeah, sure. What was the first?

Starting point is 00:10:52 I'll tell you so I had a guy in my office. He was a lawyer and he needed a full year of training. 144 sessions, you know, so we have our, you know, different tiers, $40 for 30, you know know 36 sessions in above $45 for 24 sessions $50 for 12 sessions, so you know I pretty much offered him an opportunity to I said this is where you are This is where you want to go. It's gonna take more than 12 months to get there It's gonna be I recommend you working with a trainer three times per week. It's gonna be over 144 sessions and

Starting point is 00:11:23 You know, he's you. And he's a lawyer. And I knew, like I said, he started blocking the price. And he knew he had money. Yeah. It wasn't a money. I knew he had money. So I asked him, like, you know what I'm asking? How much, like, just roughly, like, you make an hour.

Starting point is 00:11:38 And he was like something around $7,800 an hour. And I'm like, OK, so, you know, so how many hours a week do you work? And we started pumping out the math of like, what his time was worth to him. And, you know, over eight hour day, over five day a week work schedule and over four weeks and do the math. It's quite a bit of money. And then I asked him, so if you're coming to the gym three hours a week, what's that going to cost you if you're not getting results? I said, oh, that's a good one, son.

Starting point is 00:12:03 This is a good one. And he signed up. to if you're not getting results. It's a good one, son. This is a good one. He signed up. I went down and showed my boss my first 144 sessions paid in full. Which those that don't know back. That's a big deal back then to sell more. Then he brought his wife in the next day and she bought 144 sessions. Oh wow.

Starting point is 00:12:19 So it was a $15,000 contract. I was working on straight commission back then. My boss, he recognized an opportunity with me. He pretty much figured out like, I got this guy's not going to be here forever. For all the bosses listening, that's a great tip because he was like, I got to get the most out of this guy while he's here. So he said, hey Vince, you know, why don't we take you off the base and this is put you on straight commission and it was an escalating pace, just a pace structure.

Starting point is 00:12:46 So, you know, it was like 5%, 8%, 13%, 15%, 20%. So the more I sold, the more I made. So the way he coached me was like, if I had a bad month, it wasn't him coming into the room flipping the desk. It was Vince, I don't think you're gonna be able to buy that car. You said you wanted to buy next month.

Starting point is 00:13:04 And he just put it back on me. And you know, we weren't think you're gonna be able to buy that car. You said you wanted to buy next month. And he just put it back on me and we weren't talking about the whole concept of extreme ownership back then, but that's pretty much what he was teaching me. Wow, what was your biggest month in sales as a trainer? Do you remember? We were over $100,000. You know? Yeah, and this was like 15 trainers.

Starting point is 00:13:21 That's pretty damn good. It's much different. Well, I started getting into consulting, helping other clubs, big clubs. One of them was, what the heck they're called, they changed their name, the Athletic Club. Yeah, the Athletic Club. And we went in.

Starting point is 00:13:33 Was this all up in Canada? This is all up in Canada. Yeah, they're in Guelph, Ontario. And we went in and we helped them. They weren't even doing like 100K a month. And we helped them get over 400K a month in personal training sales. This is a mega gym like they had a lot of you.

Starting point is 00:13:47 So that's a huge tons and tons of trainers, but they weren't making any money. So I just fell in love with this world of selling. I love the idea of being able to write my own paycheck. And yeah, those were in the days between the age of 23 to 26. Those were the years where I was. Was there was there somebody in the gym that really mentored you that pushed you and stretched you as a salesman? Do you Jeff Russel Murray middlemost? Yeah, yeah What are some of the things that you remember that were like man game changers that like man?

Starting point is 00:14:16 This guy really helped me put that together the first thing Jeff taught me was when he came into consult for us He said your word is your bond and ever you know I grew up in a Christian home. My father's a pastor, and I'd heard that message growing up. But when he came in, and he was a really successful guy, well dressed, good-looking guy, well built, and he had the whole package and beautiful wife and all that, and he just came in and he led with that. I felt really convicted because I'm not always on time. I'm actually pretty bad and I was always late. And to this day, I struggle with being on time.

Starting point is 00:14:51 It's really bad. It's really bad. It's really bad. And I'm like, my gosh, what's wrong with me? And it goes back to selfishness. My wife would say that right now. She was here. She's like, Vince, be care about yourself.

Starting point is 00:15:02 And you love us, but you know, it's Vince number one. And I'm working on that obviously, but I'm, yeah, I said, your word is your bond. And if you can't show up on time for work, if I can't count on you to show up on time for work, like, what can I count? If you can't keep your word, what can I count on? Yeah. And I never heard that spoken from like a man that I looked up to, like, or that kind of caliber that wasn't my father, and it just hit me. So that was one of the first things,

Starting point is 00:15:31 like if people can't trust my word, what can they trust? Right. Well, any bad practice, because I know when coming up through sales, you know, and especially being young and being driven, there's a lot of potential shortcuts cuts, there's a lot of things you can say or do or tactics you can use that may not be the absolute best. Were there any shortcomings that you had early on that you had to learn your lesson from? Definitely talked to

Starting point is 00:15:58 way too much. I wasn't listening to Grant Cardone back then, so I didn't know how to overcome the closes, so when people would come on and say, Vince, you're starting to pressure me. I wouldn't know how to reply with a Grant Cardone reply like, hey, don't confuse my persistence with pressure. It would be like, oh, yeah, you got me there. And they'd be like, this is getting really, really awkward. I still remember a lady saying that. It says, all right, Mr. Salesman,

Starting point is 00:16:25 you're not getting my money today. And you just blow people out of the water. I would just like, I remember some really awkward back and forth where it was like, I was just like, oh my god, they got me. And I was just, my head was rating, you know, fire. But I definitely didn't give up. I definitely knew how to, you know, I, one of the questions I was taught was to find out,

Starting point is 00:16:48 if you're not committed on a scale one to 10, then what would make you a 10? And I would push people to get up to a 10, by typically identifying the pain that they would continue to experience. Sometimes it worked easily. Sometimes it was just like, yeah, this isn't. Yeah, should have given up. Well, that's what we talked when you interviewed us. That was a lot of what we were taught was to find the pain, right? Find the insecurity and that's the hot button.

Starting point is 00:17:15 That was the hot button was, okay, I know this lady that's sitting in front of me. I know sure she wants to lose weight. She's told me that already, but there's something deeper. And if I, as a salesman, if I could go deeper into that, figure that out, poke at that a little bit, then I knew that I could set myself up for this huge cell. Did that for many, many years, before I realized that I really wasn't helping that much, when I realized, like, man, I'm not,

Starting point is 00:17:39 but a lot of that was just being young and naive. Like, I didn't know better. I thought I was doing my job. I thought I'm getting them involved in training. They're better off training with me than not doing anything at all. But really what I was doing, I was just throwing them in this vicious cycle

Starting point is 00:17:51 of on and off the wagon. And they were never really addressing the root cause of why they were battling all this way. So it took me a long time before I peace that together. Did you ever kind of reflect on that? Took it being a good sales guy. Sometimes it's really easy to be kind of numb to all that and to be chasing the success of being good at sales

Starting point is 00:18:12 and growing that way. In January, I was the guy that was in the office for eight hours a day and the guys would just be like putting coffee cups at the door so I could just stay in the office and close. Okay guys, and I filled the trainers up. I brought one department from three trainers to 15 trainers. So I became the guy that was writing,

Starting point is 00:18:31 I was writing the trainers paychecks. And I loved it. So then there was new problems obviously because I was like, if I got to keep bringing on good trainers so that whoever I'm handing them off to, that was probably the one thing that I was, that was probably the most challenging thing knowing we were bringing on trainers at a certain

Starting point is 00:18:47 rate that the trainer, I was promising something this trainer might not be able to deliver on. I definitely knew that they would be better with the trainer than not with the trainer. Obviously, for the most part, I wasn't able to monitor everything, but that was probably like one of the maybe most challenging things with selling somebody else because by the end of the hour they're like, so you're gonna be my trainer? I'm like, no, no, no, I don't take clients. You're gonna be working with someone so, oh, oh, so you kind of figure that out and like, okay, is this trainer gonna be able to fulfill in the promise I just made for this client? And yeah, sure, you missed the mark. Yeah, swing is, you know,

Starting point is 00:19:25 strike out a few times, but for the most part, I felt really good about, I truly believed, like, I truly believe that these people needed a trainer. Sure, sure, sure. And there would be better with one than without one. You said you were your dad, your father was pastor and you've, you've referenced your, your faith quite, quite a few times. Did you ever do anything in those early days that conflicted with your with the character that you either were developing or maybe was present in your household? Oh man, you should get my dad on here now. Yeah, it's a steal. I used to I used to work like literally.

Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah, I used to steal money from a bingo hall. Oh wow. Because a bingo hall. Yeah, yeah. to steal money from a bingo hall. Oh wow. Because a bingo hall. Yeah, old S.P. Yes. Yes.

Starting point is 00:20:07 When I was, when I was, you know, this isn't high school when I was in track and field. Passers-son. Man, you get, oh, I got more for you. The P.K.s. We're not the father, right? That's a good case. How much time do we have here?

Starting point is 00:20:18 So I, yeah, my dad called me and said, where did you get all this money? And, you know, because you're wearing these little sacks where you're going around, you know, people are buying their cards and stuff. So I'm like, for hours at a time, I got all this money in my pocket. And one night, just on on me, I could take some home.

Starting point is 00:20:32 And I had to return it to my track coach, a guy that respected a lot. How'd you get caught? I can't remember to be honest, but I do remember getting caught and bringing it back to my dad or bringing it back to my coach. Did your dad make you do that?

Starting point is 00:20:44 Yes, he drove me to his house. Oh, wow. My parents, so I grew up in a very religious or a strong Christian home. And I remember I was part of a group of guys that went out. They were all seniors. We were freshmen. My buddy had an older brother and we all piled into this suburban. And we took off at midnight.

Starting point is 00:21:03 It was midnight to two in our small town and we thought it will not. We were the young guys in the back just enjoying the ride. The seniors thought it would be funny if we drove around and we shot people with paintball guns that were walking at 12 o'clock. And it was hilarious and we all went and one of the houses that we visited happened to be somebody who also went to my church and recognized me in the back of the car. So I got busted for it. My parents made me go to all the houses that got that called because a lot of people called in the cops that night, somebody's driving around and shooting people and some of that.

Starting point is 00:21:35 So I had to go and apologize. I saw these people. Meanwhile, it was just a kid. Yeah. Well, you know, interesting. You know, brought it to my faith. Well, you know, I would say my parents did a really good job protecting me from the world like in university when my buddies were coming out after, you know,

Starting point is 00:21:50 bragging about sleeping with 100, 200 girls in the course of four years. I lost my virginity in university. Oh, yeah, and you know, I and I was actually a really good guy through university I was actually like witnessing to my friends about why they shouldn't have sex before marriage. I was that guy, I was living in a room, I was in a house with eight dudes. And I was the guy getting, I was getting, oh yeah, we were getting the bates,

Starting point is 00:22:14 but of course we loved each other. There comes God block vents again. You know what, it was never, it never got to the point like to this day, we would have like a fun conversation about it. It was definitely heated, it was definitely intense, but it was there was never ever like a dislike. It was just like we were we were both all shouting at each other and I came out of university pretty good shape. I was a runner so I didn't you know go off the deep end running kept me focused and you know it wasn't

Starting point is 00:22:42 until I started making a name for myself in the fitness industry and making some money and that I realized like I had never lived on my own and I was living on my own in my mid 20s and that's when I told my parents I said, this Christian faith, I'm done with it. I said it, I don't feel good about being Saturday night vince and then Sunday morning vince and I was going to church Sunday morning with the family, them having no idea what had happened the previous night, Sunday night, Saturday night. And at this point, you're having sex with girls and doing all that stuff.

Starting point is 00:23:12 Yeah, yeah, you know, I was living the life, right? I was making money, my buddies were the guys who were telling the girls that my friend here, he lives in his own house and he's got the bottles tonight and you know, it's having fun. And I told them, I said, I can't handle the pressure of living up to this Christian faith. So I just wanted to let them know that I'm gonna be doing

Starting point is 00:23:35 my own thing and not like that I did anything. I've never done like drugs. I've never, you've never done any marijuana and nothing once in my life. Really alcohol. Alcohol, yes. Just alcohol, alcohol, yes. But never, I don't even, you're missing out. Not once in my life. Really? Alcohol. Alcohol, yes. Just alcohol. Alcohol, yes.

Starting point is 00:23:46 But never, I don't even know. You're missing out. No, I'm sick. I, at this point, I'm like, that's the, you're not missing out. Yeah, so I'm like, wink. Yeah, I know. I mean, it's, again, I don't judge or anything.

Starting point is 00:23:58 It's just like, it's just not even an interest. It's not something to think about. So you didn't go nuts. Like you weren't like, hey, mom, dad, I don't want to go to church anymore. And then the next day, crystal meth with her meth. Yeah, no, no, it wasn't that extreme, but it was. So you didn't go nuts, like you weren't like, he went on that, I don't wanna go to church anymore and then the next day, Crystal Math with a bet. Yeah, no, it wasn't that extreme, but it was like, you know, going to Vegas,

Starting point is 00:24:10 a little more frequently, you know, taking trips, you know, the bottles, you know, late nights, just, you know, chasing the woman and just kind of getting that all out, here's the interesting thing is, my excuse was I need to get this all out of my system, but everybody knows that there's no such thing as getting something out of your system. You're actually just putting it in your system. And I quickly realized now that I created all these habits

Starting point is 00:24:33 and I was becoming this person that I that I wasn't I didn't want to be, but I couldn't just like unravel one week going out with five girls and then next week not going out with any. And you know, by the grace of God I met my wife now, my late 20s. And she kind of gave me a second chance. And when we met, she essentially didn't want to know anything about my past. And that's how I knew she was the one because I never met a girl who had enough courage who was brave enough to want to get to know me just based on how she got to know me and didn't want to start finding out about all this stuff from my past. And I'm like, I never met a girl with this kind of confidence.

Starting point is 00:25:11 She saw something to me that she knew was there and that I knew wanted to come out and I didn't want to, I didn't want to drop that ball. Does she ever do anything that kind of blew your mind? I have a girl like this and that was, that was a very similar story I have that, you know, Katrina and I have been together for seven years. And she just, I never met a woman that was comfortable with that. She doesn't ask me about my past like that. I can talk about my past and she's fine with it.

Starting point is 00:25:33 Was there a moment that you had in your relationship where you're like, oh shit, most girls would have been crazy or would act it up a certain way. Did she do something like that? You saw and you're like, oh, that blew my mind. She's the one. At the start, it was just really focused on us. She just wanted to get to know me. She wanted to see if there was substance there

Starting point is 00:25:51 without bringing back drama that had nothing to do with us. And it was always about focusing more on the future. And we both had the same faith in God, same love for our family. She comes from a big family, 17 kids. Oh wow. I want to have 17. Put your Mormon.

Starting point is 00:26:08 No, no, no, no, no. She's a Christian, Romanian. Yeah, so yeah, it was just, and I also another big thing was like, she didn't know what I did for five months. We got engaged after six months, and my brother actually told her, she said, uh, we were actually here in Florida at over, where was it? I'm Jackson's, and we're having dinner

Starting point is 00:26:34 and we'd been dating for five months, and she thought I was a train, like I told her I'm a trainer, I got this online business, but she didn't know any financials, I never told her anything about that, and that was like one of the big things, like I knew that she was getting to know me.

Starting point is 00:26:47 Cause that was like my identity. And she was like trying to like allow me to find, like that's cool Vince, don't get me wrong. She'd say to the state, I'd rather be with someone who's motivated and ambitious than someone who's not. But she was more, she was most interested in who I was as a person, which was what I wanted to really come out

Starting point is 00:27:08 and share with the world, which is what I feel like I'm sharing now, like almost 10 years later, like who the real vince is, more than just a fitness guy, more than just an entrepreneur, but someone who values family and all this other stuff. So, did you guys, when you guys met and talked about all this, did you start finding your faith again, where you guys like, hey, I know we like each other.

Starting point is 00:27:26 We're going to wait till we're married now. We have sex evident. Unfortunately we didn't do that, you know, and we, we definitely, it's hard, man. We like somebody. It's really tough and you want to make. And, you know, yeah, so we, true, you know, we, I think to be honest, like our faith has always been there, but it took over seven years for for it like this has been our best year of marriage Just this past that past year

Starting point is 00:27:48 So you got three you got three kids thirds on the way third Oh, yeah, she the one to call you on your shit. Yes Give me something that she's recently Katrina loves to call me on my shit What's the last let's the last thing she called you on your shit? Yeah, man. I'll tell you straight up so you know, I have work hours. She's very flexible. She lets me, I wake up at 5.30 and I work out, do my Instagram, do all my social meeting the morning from 5.30.

Starting point is 00:28:13 I've got to be home for eight to help out with the kids between 8.8 and 8.45. And then from 8.45 to 4.30 is my work day. But I rarely ever come up at 4.30 because there's always something. Of course. This is urgent. There's always urgent, right? So one day she said, she'd just say, I'm tired of like, I'm up here, I'm burning out, you got to come up and help out.

Starting point is 00:28:38 Just because you make money doesn't make, it doesn't excuse you from helping out around the house and offering to do other things. So I take out the dishes. I do the, or I clean the dishes, take out the garbage. I shut my day down. I try to shut it down for 430 to 830 and be present for the family. And she pretty much said this. I said, I threw back something like, I'm working hard for us. You couldn't appreciate all this if it wasn't for how hard I worked. She's Vince You were working just as hard before I Mech here. You would be working just as many hours if we weren't in this relationship. Don't tell me you're doing this for us

Starting point is 00:29:16 You're doing this for you. You're doing this to build up Vince Del Monte You're not doing this. I'm kind of now pulling it up, but she made her point. And she's right. I was, you know, and I'm like, what my identity is still wrapped in being successful entrepreneur, the successful business guy, whatever. And why is that so important to you chasing something? Was it to fill an insecurity? Do you feel like that's your value? Yeah. Yeah. Big time and fear of losing that. The fear of losing that. It's not to... Does it stem back to childhood where did it come from? I think because I found this,

Starting point is 00:29:51 I just found this new sense of identity in something that I, you know, that wasn't kind of laid out for me. Like nobody in my family, my grandpa's an entrepreneur, but like nobody in my world, like I came from an old school talent background, you know, my parents aren't like this bad,

Starting point is 00:30:06 I used to date a girl where, you know, they wouldn't put her in swimming lessons because they were afraid she would drown. Oh, Jesus Christ, we got a lot in common. That kind of fear, right? So, you know, I was always told. Did your mom do everything for you? Make your bed, make your food, clean your room,

Starting point is 00:30:18 that kind of shit? It's true. Yeah, but at the same time, I was also, my parents definitely put a lot of protection on and I feel like it was to be honest a good thing because kids are stupid. I was, you know, teenagers are, you know, idiots. Like, we need to be protected a little bit faster. So you don't have to learn the hard way all the time, maybe some of the time. So I'm not exactly sure where it came from.

Starting point is 00:30:45 I think it was something that felt like my own, you know, as a runner, I found my identity in running, but as a mid-packer. What about your brother older or younger than you? A younger and an older. Sorry, sorry, I bought two younger brothers. Two younger brothers. Did you feel a responsibility to be the leader,

Starting point is 00:31:03 to show them that you're successful or was one of your younger brothers maybe more successful than you faster? Yeah, the driver, the driver success is really interesting to me because coming from a Christian home, you know, sometimes money can be the root of all evilness. And so we kind of hear that growing up.

Starting point is 00:31:21 And so I'm always interested to see somebody who has a lot of drive and passion work where it came from. I think it's interesting. I think it was an identity thing. I hadn't really figured out what my identity was. I think most people in high school, they find their identity in their grades

Starting point is 00:31:38 or being the cool club or being popular or whatever. Were you very popular in high school? Yeah, skinny Vinny back then. I was I definitely wasn't a part of the You're nerdy or like Sal was Didn't have my friends. I had my best friend was Frank, you know, I mean Frank walked the Fault halls together and we and we thought we were the best looking guys in school because our moms told us that we were That's what you guys we truly did, you know, we truly both I remember when he got his heart broken by a girl that he dated and he quickly realized and then, you know, I got turned down by a girl younger than me, you know, she had to go

Starting point is 00:32:13 home at 12 o'clock on prom night and everybody else got to stay out later. And I was like, what the heck? And we quickly realized that we weren't the best looking guys in high school. And, um, you lied to me, man. So, uh, this is a tie-in moms, bro. You know, the running was obviously, um, you know, that kind of filled a big void for me that I was coming from being skinny, Vinnie, being known as this weak scrawny pushover. And it gave me a sense of like, oh, I have Vince is a good runner, though.

Starting point is 00:32:39 I was competitive in triathlon and running. So, after university, I didn't have the running because I retired from running. So I think it was just kind of a quest to try and find a new identity and then I kind of stumbled onto something that was good. Do you think you could have something to do with the want to be popular?

Starting point is 00:32:55 I mean, I think a lot of people that go through high school would be lying to say that they didn't want to be popular while they're in high school. And then I'll send you find this YouTube and internet and you find out. Man, you guys are asking some incredible questions, by the way. And then I'll send you find this YouTube and internet and you find out. Man, you guys are asking some incredible questions, by the way. No, I think you're right.

Starting point is 00:33:08 It was funny because, and it almost ties into like this whole new thing now where I have a problem with eating out. I don't know if you guys ever see my answer story, but we eat out all the time. And when I eat out, I just eat everything. Like I've got no limitations. I can't, okay, we were at an Italian restaurant last night.

Starting point is 00:33:23 I've done it the last three nights where, you know, I have to get a beer, then I got to get a appetizer. I've got to get a main course, you know, pia di, uh, sick green dude, and I got to get the dessert. And I'm like, and then I was blow my diet. I'm like, so good during the day. I got these limits on what I do and I don't do. I'm so good with my training, but then I just blow my diet at night. And I was talking to't do. I'm so good with my training, but then I just blow my diet at night and I was talking to my brother and like and my parents and my both my brothers and we're trying to figure out where did this come from and My middle brother Adrian remembers that he said as soon as you started making money You started going crazy on your diet and I'm like really?

Starting point is 00:34:02 He's like yeah, I remember we go to restaurants and you start bragging about not having to look at the prices on the menu. And something back in my mid-twenties must have triggered this habit where now this ability to order anything on the menu has now led to this habit where I have a hard time not going berserk on the menu. Like I'll literally, like last night, heck, two nights ago, we went out and we had three take-homes before the main courses came. We already had three take-homes before the main course had come. Like, so why am I ordering all this food? I could identify with that, so I have a very similar story,

Starting point is 00:34:40 but it wasn't just food, it's in all aspects. I tend to over-end-dollge, but a lot of that was because I didn't have a lot growing up. So money restrictions, money, yeah, right. Money was the root of all evilness when I was growing up. We didn't have a lot of it, you know, we were evicted from, I lived and lived in seven different homes growing up, and then by the time I was 21 years old, I'd already bought my house. And so I had found money at a very early age and it wasn't all evil for me. It was actually gave me opportunity to go to a restaurant and have a $70 stake and not worry about it.

Starting point is 00:35:10 And so I think from a lot of my 20s, I over and doleds done everything I got into. And for me, that's why it was because I know that I didn't have a lot. And so that was something now in my 30s. I've learned to find balance, more balance in my life. That what would make me really interested in the drive for success and money and possibly popularity for you if it was You know maybe because you felt like you wanted a lot of it when you're younger than now you're starting to experience some of it I can add something to this so The drive where where the drive came from I think it did come from trying to find a new identity But what's really interesting now is where the drive comes from now.

Starting point is 00:35:47 Like you guys are already successful, no? Like, I mean, but why are you still driven? Like really like, it's an interesting conversation because I had someone ask this question to me like, are you actually trying to go, everyone says, what does everyone say? Gotta go to the next level. We're gonna go to the next level. Gotta go to the next level. Are you really trying to go to the next level? Are you trying to prevent going down to the last level? Are you actually making your decisions based on growth

Starting point is 00:36:14 or are you making your decisions based on maybe if we did make that decision, it could fail and we'll lose what we have. So why don't we plate the safe decisions? You're playing a win or you're playing not to lose. Yes, that's the defense. That's it. And that's, I think, the more interesting conversation,

Starting point is 00:36:30 because I'm finding a lot of guys these days, and I can relate, because this has been me for the last few years until I got reconnected with two coaches this past summer, who helped me identify that a business has plateaued. A plateaued from almost four years straight. That could a great level, but it hasn't grown for four years straight because I'm making all my decisions out of fear.

Starting point is 00:36:52 Because what if I lose this? Now, for four years, you were kind of at a plateau. Oh, wow. Now did that kind of fuck with you at all, or were you actually at a point too, or, hey, I'm making good money. I'm kind of enjoying my money and doing things. I tell it started to go backwards.

Starting point is 00:37:05 Oh, okay. Style started to go backwards. So what was that moment like? Well, I realized, you know, it was like, this was happening all along, like this slow leak that I wasn't aware of. And there's a couple of pieces to it. You know, one, you can stop, it really is,

Starting point is 00:37:22 there is truth to say that you can lose the hunger. Like if you're not hungry anymore You can plateau get comfortable There was there was a number of pieces. There's a lot of red shiny objects chasing a lot of different things at once spreading myself thin I didn't have any coaches looking over my shoulders in those years. I was really big on Doing a lot of affiliate promotions a lot of my income was from promoting other people's products. I had a couple partnerships. My wife's business was like in full swing,

Starting point is 00:37:49 making a lot of money as well. And I realized like I didn't have a real business. I had a promotional based business. It was just based on the next offer, the next offer, which is what I was good at, but it's pretty much a job. I had to show up at work. I had to put out a promotion just like everyone else has to show up at work. I had to put out a promotion just like everyone else has to show up at work.

Starting point is 00:38:05 And I realized that this, I'm not gonna be in business in 2020. I remember hearing Gary Vee say something like, is your business operating right now based on how others businesses will be thriving in 2020? I'm like, I'm in a sinking ship right now. This is going backwards. And I was, I've got to a point where I was a very, very rich, broke man.

Starting point is 00:38:30 A lot was coming in, but a lot was going out, trying to, you know, make something work and nothing was working. And that's when I was like, I saw my revenue one year and it was like, this has been my lowest year and then I went back a little bit more. And like, what the heck's going on here? Did you feel that effect you as a person?

Starting point is 00:38:48 Like did it affect your personal relationship with your wife and your kids and your friends? Like did you notice that it had a cause of death? Yeah, I'd work more. Yeah, I mean, this was like in the first couple of years, and this was actually, it was around the time where my daughter was born, and yeah, where she needed me the most here, I'm like, you know, trying to keep this thing, a float, keeping this thing growing. So yeah, I was happening in those like first,

Starting point is 00:39:13 not first, second, third, I think it was like the third to six year marriage. Yeah, so it definitely doesn't help because now you're focused on this business and you're now neglecting her needs, her need for intimacy, for order in the home and for financial security, to the three things every woman needs. Don't blame her, it's how God wired her. And she wasn't getting those things. So yeah, that creates, there's a whole new layer of stress. You talk about, you talked about her and you having your best relationship now, after all

Starting point is 00:39:44 the years you guys have been through. What do you think was the most challenging time in your marriage and why? The most challenging time. It definitely was those years where it was just all about me, me, me still. It was just like trying to, I just think collecting her needs. I remember one time she said, I just think electing her needs, like I remember one time she said, I don't even feel like we're friends. We're married, but I don't even feel like we have a friendship anymore. And I'm like, the heck? That's intense. So I was

Starting point is 00:40:17 like, we don't even have a friendship. I feel like everything's fine. And that was the worst part because the dude typically thinks everything is fine. And good woman, some of them, you could call them a push over, maybe being a push over, some of them just don't want to create drama, but every woman has a tolerance level. And if she doesn't feel valued pretty soon, she's going to kick your story asked through the curb and go find somebody who does make you feel valued and does make her feel valued and does make her feel valued. And, um, yeah, so that was, uh, I wouldn't say there was like one event,

Starting point is 00:40:50 but it was, it was one of those things that it was like, it's just like that complacency where you're just like, you're like, yeah, not a big deal, not a big deal, not a big deal, but it's these little deals, like, you know, 1% a day adds up over seven years. Right. And then if you've got four or five things, they're tolerating times 1% over five, seven deals, like, you know, 1% a day adds up over seven years. Right. And then if you've got four or five things, they're tolerating times 1% over five, seven years. Like, then that's how, you know, it's tough, right? It all adds up one day and the next thing, you know,

Starting point is 00:41:14 they can't, they explode. They snap. Was that a devastating thing to hear from her? What would you do right after that? Thankfully, like, thankfully, I'm, you know, I grew up in a home where like, you know, my parents my parents have really taught me a lot of both. You've got to invest in this fence.

Starting point is 00:41:29 You've got to invest in this. You think you guys came out the way you did by chance. You've got to work on it. You've got to put the work in, building your body. And I just realized I wasn't putting the work in. And I realized I can't put the work in. And I just have to stop finding my identity in this online business and this success in this outside world I have to find my identity as a man who's a father who's a husband and

Starting point is 00:41:53 and more and more than just Just a fitness guy and it was actually funny because I was the same time like the YouTube channel was kind of like You know, it was going through kind of some rough times because I was just trying to put myself out. There's a fitness guy fitness guy. So I had to really evolve, figure out like rebrand myself almost, like figure out like, what's my true worth as a person? Is it like just being a fitness guy? No, I've got more to offer, not just the world, but to this woman.

Starting point is 00:42:19 And that was probably like the hard part about slowing the pace down. I think like just saying, because I was comparing myself to all these guys who like their businesses are exploding, but I also knew some stuff going on in their personal life that I wouldn't personally want for my own. And they're just because that was, they were finding their self worth and their net worth. And I was going down that path. So it was leaking into my relationship to try and keep up with these guys, but their values weren't the same as mine. They weren't really trying to be family guys. They were just focused on their deal.

Starting point is 00:42:51 Did you interview implemented now to help with the habits or rituals that you've created to combat that? Because I know a lot of times when we're guys like this, you know, sure you become aware of it, that's the first step. But then we still have this tendency to go back. So have you put some things in place to counter that? Yeah. I mean, this this schedule with like, it's taking me like two years to get to the point where I do take weekends off. You know, I'm talking on my phone here. I got my phone on and checking things here. But like, I'm not sitting down at my laptop to do real work. So taking weekends off has been huge.

Starting point is 00:43:24 And shutting my day down at 4.30. And if it's 5 o'clock I'm still shutting my day down to be present with the family. So putting limits, so putting limits on myself has helped a lot. And then, you know, getting back to church, I'll be honest, was the biggest thing going back to an amazing place in Toronto called elevation, elevation church, the pastors outstanding Stephen Fertic. So The church will be honest, was the biggest thing going back to an amazing place in Toronto called elevation. Elevation church, the pastor's outstanding Stephen Fertic. It's written like five books, got a beautiful family. The guy's built to, like, takes care of himself, 20,000 people. This church is amazing. Like, outstanding, and this guy's 37 years old, and you know, I'm just turning 38.

Starting point is 00:44:02 And I'm just watching the impact that this guy is having. I'm like, do I got to smart enough? Like I got to get my walk back in order. And I can have so much bigger impact if I just get on the path that I know that I'm supposed to be on. So just going there every Sunday helped out a lot. And then, you know, obviously my wife started reading some stuff too that helped with just like how to fight well, how to have arguments in a way that you don't start slipping in the low blows that are like crap, do we just say that to each other?

Starting point is 00:44:36 So you know, it's trying to learn how to dance with each other and just really just working on it and just trying to live in a home where we extend grace and try to just keep reminding ourselves, like, we're on the same team. We need to work as a unit here. Like, this isn't working out. I was like, on each other. It's tough when you don't, it's very, very difficult when you're chasing something of an evident identity because of feeling and insecurity or a fear of,

Starting point is 00:45:07 if I don't have this, then who am I? Because if you're doing that, the relationships you have can become based on that and they can feel not secure or false or you can just not have a good concept of what this relationship is based on because you're constantly chasing something. I was like, what is your identity

Starting point is 00:45:25 Without your business like have you found that? Yeah, I feel like I'm getting closer to it. I feel like I'm really close to representing a man that Is in a fight and you recognize is life is a fight I think what a lot of men are connecting to me on is that I'm Recognizing the fights that matter most like there's certain fights that of men are connecting to me on is that I'm recognizing the fights that matter most Like there's certain fights that us men we need to win and if we don't win which ones are they? anger

Starting point is 00:45:53 lust pride complacency Like those are things that men struggle with That if you don't get around other men who are fighting these same fights, man, you're done. Which ones are the biggest challenges for you? I think definitely pride.

Starting point is 00:46:13 Hmm. You know, pride's a big one. Is that a Italian thing? Um, just, you know, that pride, that ego, I think that's always a struggle to just want to, you know, that, you know, strut and even that, you know, quest for power to be known as somebody who's powerful or who's successful. So I think that's... Well, especially if you, like you said, if you were in high school and you felt like you didn't have that and you felt an adequate, you could live now the rest of your life chasing that feeling that you felt like you didn't have, end up in a place that's not benefiting you at all.

Starting point is 00:46:49 And you're starting to identify that now. What would you say are some of the positive things and then some of the negative things of growing up in a home where your father's a pastor? The bar was set high, but I looking back, I'm glad he said it high. I used to, I'm kind of a weird anomaly I used to tell my parents you guys need to fight more because this isn't like is this actually attainable And we never saw the work that went under you know went into the relationship behind the table like that's they really worked on The relationship and had other people in their lives mentoring them in the whole

Starting point is 00:47:23 and had other people in their lives mentoring them in the whole marriage department. Like how many people have a marriage coach? And a lot of people think that marriage counseling is like for when your relationship is into trouble. No, when your relationships in trouble is too late, you need to be in marriage counseling from day one. Who doesn't need help? Just that the concept of marriage is insane.

Starting point is 00:47:45 Two people together, the rest of their life. Like it's almost, you have to almost come in and, like I kind of a bit of like, what are we getting ourselves into here? Like you're surprised you're getting into argument right now. Like of course you're gonna get into. So, I think that was a big one, like seeing my dad set the bar high, watching my father love my mom

Starting point is 00:48:07 and seeing like that's ultimately the best way a father can show his kids that he loves them. The best way you can show your kids how you love them is how you love the mother and that's really powerful because you see what a real man is, you know, how he respects her and that was really powerful because you see what a real man is, how he respects her. And that was really powerful. And then to just grow up with a set of rules, there are things that are right in life and there are things that are wrong. And I always struggle with that. I don't know where I came from.

Starting point is 00:48:38 But my brothers will laugh. Vince is always in the grays. He's kind of always like, he's always kind of like conniving, he's kind of the little sneaky. My brother's, my other two brothers aren't like that, it's like black and white, you know, exactly where they stand. And I'm kind of like, oh, I guess we could do that. So understanding there's a right and wrong. And I think one of the best things my parents taught me is to be highly engaged in their

Starting point is 00:49:03 kids' lives. Like to this day, my parents are so, so engaged. It's almost like a little too much. To be engaged with the kids. To realize the kids, if you want to raise adults, you have to spend a tremendous, tremendous amount of time with them. That's the hardest thing that I think entrepreneurs wrestle with because time is like your precious commodity and to spend time with a child. It's like now you can't, you don't see the immediate return, right? You're like trusting like the time you're putting in with the kids is going to pay off down

Starting point is 00:49:34 the road. But you don't see an ROI from sitting on the floor and putting dinosaur puzzles together for 15 minutes or doing, you know, call it reading pink elitious for 15 minutes because there's no art in media ROI for the business guy. What's a what's one thing that you have vowed to do differently than your parents Man, man, where you get these questions? I Think I'm gonna let them learn the hard way a little sooner. I think I'm gonna let them learn the hard way a little sooner. I think I'm gonna let them I Definitely think I could have learned some lessons earlier on they did protect me I think it was probably good for the most part like you're a bit sheltered as I was yeah

Starting point is 00:50:15 Yeah, yeah a little shelter. I was sheltered for quite a while You want to make your kids strong? You don't want to necessarily, you know shelter them. I might try and have something I learned too You don't want to necessarily, you know, shelter them. I might try and have something I learned too. Yeah, I probably try not to be as fearful and realize that I'm not, you know, these kids don't just have an earthly father, but they have a heavenly, heavenly father as well, who's looking after them and who's got a bigger plan for them than I do. Is their earthly father and those kids were put here for a bigger purpose than just me, you know, raising them like there's another guy who's also got

Starting point is 00:50:46 rains on this kid. So like I don't have to be terrified about like, you know, there can be mistakes and they can, you know, get miss, miss, they can get back on track, you know? So probably not be, probably try not to be as fear-based and try to be as protective. Well, because you're pretty open about your faith

Starting point is 00:51:08 and you talk about it quite a bit, do you find that people in our industry receive it well? Receive it well or poorly? I know nowadays it's interesting, like you'll have people who support it and you have other people roll their eyes and don't wanna hear it, you know? And you know what, it's crazy.

Starting point is 00:51:24 I was talking about this the know what? It's crazy. I was talking about this the other day. It's almost all positive because the only people, I find like the sooner people can figure out what you stand for, the quicker they can figure out if they want to hang out with you. So it's better off the lead with that. Like we're talking before, like just lead with the biggest elephant in the room because at least now you know who I am.

Starting point is 00:51:43 You know what I'm saying? So people like always one of these guys, well at least I don't waste their time. Right. I'm going to be interesting. I'll give them some time. And I don't really, I think is only helped because I only attract the kinds of people that I want to hang out with and that they might want to hang out with. And we have that commonality that kind of know where I came from.

Starting point is 00:52:03 So I figure the sooner they know what I'm all about, the more I also can give credit to where a lot of the source of my strength comes from, right, and where the source of my standards come from. So it was something that I didn't talk about as much like, you know, I kind of planted some seeds and some of my books and some of my programs and a lot of people would email me and say, are you a Christian? I'm like, you know, I would never reply back because I never led with that. But if you watch my answer stories, you know, it's pretty clear where I stand. And it's never been an issue because I think like I've got friends of different faith and

Starting point is 00:52:41 different beliefs and stuff. And we're still friends. We don't typically don't like talk about it much at all or whatever, but we're still friends. Sure. Yeah, so I think it's, what's a big deal? Well, you know, talking about friends, you know, I just got interviewed recently

Starting point is 00:52:54 and we got into this like, you know, big game changers for you as a young teenage boy going to an adulthood that you put together. One of the things that I had shared was big for me was realizing how much the people I spend the most time with influence who I am. So you're five people that you spend the most time with and learning how to grow beyond some of those people and recognizing that, you know, we were probably really good friends when we were in our, you know, 15, 16, as we're all into sports and we are competitive. And so that kind of drove

Starting point is 00:53:23 us when we were young. And now we're in a young adulthood and I'm recognizing like, oh shit, these guys want me to do well but not better than them because they're so competitive and that's not the people I want around me all the time even though we go way back and I need to be seeking people that flew your true fans. Right, yeah, who's really feeding your flame? So, did you put that together and do you still have relationships like that or have you learned to kind of grow beyond and move beyond those people that are unhealthy in your life? You know, it's interesting. I feel like I just been so blessed over the years.

Starting point is 00:53:53 I don't know if it's because my parents prayed for me every morning and still do to this day. Like for 15, 30 minutes every single day, they prayed for me and my brothers. And I've really been blessed with a lot of good people in my life. One of my best friends, I still remember like whenever I told them about my numbers like when I start having the online success, he was so, so, so happy. He's an Italian guy, Joe Costa, he's a Sicilian guy too. And he would pick me up and lift me up and say, that's amazing. He's a successful surgeon now and I think it's just comes and he just came from a family of Italians too that just they he grew up in a loving, on that. And I think it's just, and he just came from a family

Starting point is 00:54:25 of Italians too, that just, he grew up in a loving, loving home. And I think maybe it comes from like, kids that were raised in really, really loving homes, they just like don't have that fear. They're not as scared of like, what if something bad happens? Like, what, mom and dad still love me.

Starting point is 00:54:43 So, for the most part, I've attracted really, I've met really good people. I've got a couple like situations where like, like the relationships should have been cut off a lot earlier, but I can't say that I've really been in toxic relationships that were really like, I was taught really really early like if you're dating a girl and first of all you shouldn't be Shopping if you don't plan a buy right and

Starting point is 00:55:15 You know when you're test driving the car a test drive isn't you know 10 years? It's like you know test drive the car. It's a days, you know, you're gonna get a pretty good feel so I am Kind of realize like you can kind of figure someone out pretty early So like if you got a bad vibe early on you know, you kind of trust that Instincts so like try not to like pursue that you're your heartbroken Well, yeah, I don't know if it was like I definitely have my heart broke. I remember tell my mom I've You know when a know if it was like I definitely have my heart broke. I remember telling my mom I've You know when I was 16 when I was 22. Yeah, these girls both told me when I thought it was like we were getting married

Starting point is 00:55:51 I can't tell you how many times I told my mom I found the one oh shit. Oh, yeah, I was that guy. Yeah, and oh, yeah She just yeah It's not me. It's you but yeah, oh many times many times. I remember an Italian girl that broke up with me She told me that I was too but yeah, many times, many times. I remember an Italian girl that broke up with me. She told me that I was too, too ambitious. Like, she told me I need to relax. Like, why does everything have to be about like doing something? Why can't we just sit here?

Starting point is 00:56:15 And like, I realized that's when I was the weird one. And that she wasn't the weird one. She's like, why do we always have to talk about what we're gonna do? Why do we always, I don't remember what she said. Why do we always have to talk about what we're going to do? Why do we always, I don't remember what she said. Why do we always have to talk about our goals? Why do we always have to talk about what we're going to do with our life? And I'm like, huh, it's a good question. It's how we do talk about it, isn't it? So yeah, I've had my heart broken. What do you, what do you fear for your kids the most?

Starting point is 00:56:40 You got little ones. In the world, there's a lot different today than it was when we were You got little ones and the world is a lot different today than it was when we were holy macro You know just that I Think the hardest thing to give kids these days is you know what doctor mag meeker calls moral courage To have courage to stand up for what's right and wrong, you know I don't know I didn't I haven't listened too much about the latest shooting, but from what I understand, a lot of people saw this leading up with this kid who did the shooting and nobody said anything because they were afraid they might be labeling him of some sort. I don't want my kids to be afraid

Starting point is 00:57:19 to stand up for what's right and wrong. The only way for the kids to do that is for them to see mom and dad. So I think the biggest thing is that I man up when I need to man up, if situations arise, that I'm like, this isn't right. I got to actually say something here. I can't just swipe this one under the rug too. Because I'm a nonconfrontational guy from most part.

Starting point is 00:57:41 I do my best to avoid confrontations. But to ensure I don't avoid the confrontations that I need to, for the sake of my kids seeing an example of moral courage. You have boys, girls. Daughter and a son. Daughter and a son, and then you get one on the way. What about technology?

Starting point is 00:57:57 What about with your kids and technology? How do you feel about all that? They're definitely not going to kids houses that have available internet access with all the kids. What about with your kids and technology? How do you feel about all that? I mean, they're definitely not going to kids houses that have available internet access without parents there for the reason. Oh, shit, that's a hard one to try and police. Yeah, man, good luck on that.

Starting point is 00:58:14 That's tough. Well, because the porn, right? Oh, yeah. It's so easily accessible. I got a killer podcast with a guy that wrote a book called Surfing for God and he's writing a new book called Better Than Porn. And this is actually a topic I'm really interested in.

Starting point is 00:58:27 And we discussed this a lot. Oh yeah, because just look what's going on with ED. Yeah, yeah, I just function in man in their 20s exploding. Yeah. When that was never the case, I think that's one of the biggest things for, you know, to protect my kids from things that can be avoided. So just really like, is this what's gonna be tough? This is gonna be the hardest thing

Starting point is 00:58:49 because I got like a lot of great friends and guys I love respecting all that, but I don't know if we have the same beliefs into the point where this is gonna be hard to say, but like, I don't know if I'd want their son dating my daughter based on knowing who they are. It's so crazy, and that's, I'll sum it up like that.

Starting point is 00:59:08 Well, when you say that, it kind of leans towards your, the thing that you're most concerned about is sheltering your kids too much. Isn't that funny? When you think about that, when you think about the thing that you're most concerned with. I wanna ask you. Right, as soon as we start to point somewhere where,

Starting point is 00:59:22 oh shit, this could be a challenge for me. The first thing that you wanna do is go, and protect them. It's crazy. And maybe there's more there, right? Like maybe there's more there than doing that, that could you potentially shelter them the same way that you were just in this era, right?

Starting point is 00:59:40 Cause we didn't have you, too. We didn't have that. That wasn't the scary thing. Maybe you have to have a little more faith in the way you are as a father and a leader that, you know, my kid will make the right decision. Sure. Have the opportunity there to do that. I can't police that or control that. It's impossible. It's impossible. Unless you lock them up in a room and then, you know, what kind of a child is that can turn in, what kind of an adult is that can turn into into? You know, it's I have a 12 year old right my son's 12 and so what I've done with my with my son

Starting point is 01:00:08 Because my daughter's eight so we're not really having these conversations yet But what I've done with my son is I've just made a policy of brutal honesty So when we have a conversation about drugs and he asked me, you know, you know, he goes, but why do people do? You know these drugs and I saw because they feel good, you know, I'm being honest with them like you know, you know, he goes, but why do people do, you know, these drugs? And I say, because they feel good, you know, I'm being honest with them, like, you know, I remember the shit that I was told, which was a lie, you know, oh, they're crazy. These are crazy people in there.

Starting point is 01:00:34 And then they jump off trains. And then you're a kid, especially if you were, I was a very percussious child, and I'm a habitual lying crosser. Like if there's a line, I'm gonna put my foot on the other side just to see what's going on. And so, you know, if my kids anything like I was, and he hears for me, oh, it's all, you know,

Starting point is 01:00:52 people are crazy and then he tries and he's like, whoa, I like this, like I like drinking a little bit. This feels like, everything else I told him was bullshit. So I'm gonna be honest with him, I'm gonna say, look, a lot of people do it because I like it. But here's what happens as a result of that sometimes. And the vast majority of people that do these things

Starting point is 01:01:07 don't become addicts, but sometimes people do because of this, and then we talk to our pornography. Why do people want to look at pornography? And I'll tell them well, because you're stimulated visually, and this is what happens, and the male brain is attracted to novelty. But here's what happens when you look at pictures after picture, video after video, it restructures your brain brain Yeah, I genuinely and so I'm just brutally honest and I'm gonna be the exact same way to my daughter

Starting point is 01:01:29 Which I think will be more difficult for me because I got that little bit of that stereotype going on But but yeah, man because I was I think I think you and I grew up very similar very sheltered I'm probably a little more rebellious in you from hearing your stories. I do tend to test things out, but I think if my parents were honest with me, or not afraid, like sex was taboo, like we didn't talk about sex. Yeah, sure.

Starting point is 01:01:54 Ever. I learned about sex because I'd go to work with my dad, my dad was a construction, his workers would tell me dirty jokes, and that's when I learned about sex was through that, and I found a dirty magazine once, and then that was how I found out some others of them. So it's that brutal honesty man. That's it.

Starting point is 01:02:09 But you got young kids, right? Hold on to this. Yeah, four and two. I think the biggest thing is just to be highly engaged, I think my greatest fear is like, well, I will, I'd be willing to give them the time they need because I think how do kids spell love, right? T-I-M-E.

Starting point is 01:02:23 It's just time. 15 minutes with them. My mom told me something great the other day. She goes, just get down on your hands and knees on the carpet and play with me, leave a 15 minutes a day. And I'm like, it's so simple. I say, you know, I'm gonna be two, three, four hours. 15 minutes a day, get down on your hands and knees

Starting point is 01:02:41 without your phone and just be present. Just be present. And it's amazing how much better the kids act. It's unbelievable. Oh, it's crazy. It's unbelievable. It's crazy. This is what your attention at the end of the day.

Starting point is 01:02:52 And like you said, that's definitely a sign of love that you can show them just by doing simple things. Yeah, a great book. I got to mention this written by Meg Meeker. It's called Hero. And she's like absolutely outstanding. She's got a podcast specifically for parents. It's called Hero and she's like absolutely outstanding. She's got a podcast specifically for parents. It's our go-to and she talks a lot about how a daughter is doing

Starting point is 01:03:11 with the dad in her early days, whether it's consciously or unconsciously, but she's when she's acting out, when she's trying to get your attention, when she's primarily acting out doing things like, why is she doing this? she's not supposed to be doing, she wasn't raised to do this. She's trying to see if you're strong enough to protect her. It's a test. She's testing you. And so when she's throwing her arms up and she's going crazy, that's not,

Starting point is 01:03:36 you don't teach her how to conduct self control by coming in and freaking out too. You come in with silent strength and you come in and you just come in firm and you come in as that hero, you come in with silent strength and you come in and you just come in firm and you come in as that hero, you come in as that strong person that loves her and teaches her by demonstration. So she knows that he can protect me, that he's strong. He doesn't freak out when something goes wrong.

Starting point is 01:03:58 And that's how that father son, that father daughter dynamic is really, really important. That's one thing I'm really trying to do a lot with her, just like giving her the time to just do the things that she wants to do, coloring in her coloring book. And just another big thing I really try to do with her a lot is to validate her character and not her beauty. Is she beautiful? Yes. But the worst thing you can do for a girl when she's young is to say how beautiful she is. Because then she finds her identity in her beauty and then when she's in her teens and she looks at herself in the mirror and she's going through puberty and she's getting pimples. She's like, Daddy, you're lying to me. I'm not pretty.

Starting point is 01:04:38 I'm not beautiful. So if she finds her identity in her beauty, then what does she do when she goes into high school? She goes to find the guys, the girls that find their identity and their beauty. So I really try and compliment her as much as possible in terms of why she's special. And she's special because there's nobody else

Starting point is 01:04:55 like her in the world. And to compliment, hey, I like how you treated John Luca today and how you shared with them. I like how you asked that person, if you could pet their dog before going up to pet their dog. So I'm complimenting her character, which is something she can control. Girls can't control their beauty,

Starting point is 01:05:12 especially when they start going through hormone crap. So I'm really trying to help her find her identity and my son as well, he's literally so only two, but to help her find her identity and who she is as opposed to how she looks. Good deal brother. Perfect. What are you looking at in the future for your business? And what do we got in the future for you? Right now I'm focused on helping 75 men take their online business to the next level. I've got 50 guys in my 12 month coaching program. Have you

Starting point is 01:05:40 developed any stars yet or is this right? Yes, dude, yeah, I've got a lot. I mean, I developed a nickname because it was one of the first guys that got into the industry. People call me the OG. So back in 2010, I have helped like literally dozens of guys build six and seven figure online businesses. And I do have a number of success stories. We actually just uploaded one to YouTube. His name is Jordan Valeriat.

Starting point is 01:06:00 And I helped him go over, he's done over half a million dollars in under two years in a market that I don't know nothing about. He teaches guys how to mix music and I went over and I interviewed him and his wife. And you know, I've got literally dozens of guys I'm working with who have double-tripled their list sizes, their revenues, who've transformed their life one guy, a line. He is renewing his wedding vows. I think this month or next month because when he got married to his wife, he couldn't even afford a $200 wedding ring. And since we start working together, he could, could droople his online income. And he's throwing her the wedding of her dreams in Orlando, Florida. So, you know, like stories like that, you know another fellow Joe Legalbo he came out to my event two years ago. He was literally dead broke. He's working a dead undrawed job He had two thousand dollars to his name and

Starting point is 01:06:53 His wife actually supported him to use the final two thousand dollars. He was scared to come to my two-day seminar He came to my two-day seminar and now you know, he's a multi-six figure earner and He's another success story. It's really cool because a lot of the guys that are in my group are recently married or in a relationship and they're just basically taking the same path that I took many, many years ago. We're going to make the money. They want to make the money.

Starting point is 01:07:21 That's why they can give me the money because they're going to make it back. What's really, really exciting me, the because they got to make it back But what's really really exciting me Exciting me the most is like the caliber of guys coming into the group and one guys tell me I was at so and so's mastermind And it's just all about the money and yes We teach the tactics we teach this strategy. We give everyone their marching orders on how to execute before their next event But these guys are like the guys you've brought into this room Like these are some really good quality men in these and they're like you know guys like you these guys are like the guys you've brought into this room. Like these are some really good quality men in these, you know, guys like you guys who are like trying to do more than just like going for the quick grab and and these guys are forming real, real relationships.

Starting point is 01:07:56 And they see substance in the room and they're really just realizing like being a part of this group is an opportunity to unlock their potential and they're not going to be able to do it on their own. So that's what's getting me really excited. Guys realizing that I'm, you know, they're going to probably stay in the group not just for that, but because the relationships they've formed and the growth they're experiencing. And, you know, I'm trying to set the bar high for these guys too in terms of like, hey, I want, I don't want you guys to kick your family to the curb in terms of, to build this all in business too in terms of like, hey, I don't want you guys to kick your family to the curb in terms of, to build this all in business. It's not like if we do it, it's how we do it.

Starting point is 01:08:32 And it's not if we do it, but who you become in the process. It's like, oh, you built a great body, but yeah, you cheated the whole time. Or you have a shitty personality. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, you built a great big business, but you did it selling overnight weight loss. Like making money is easy, building your body's easy.

Starting point is 01:08:50 The question is, is who you become and how you do it? And so I'm trying to get them to think bigger, and this is all because I've got guys doing that for me as well. Excellent. Well, I'm glad we finally got connected, man. We've been trying to get connected for some time, and I'm for sure we will stay in touch a lot, and this will not be the last time that we hop on each other's podcast man

Starting point is 01:09:08 Really excited to see where you go from I'd love to have you up in California in our center facility do some more content and I was as I was saying I think I mentioned a style but not to Justin and Adam before I we started my next mastermind is May 12 and 13th You guys are welcome to come as my guests. I'm sure the guys would love to hear it. And if the dates are available. Excellent. Appreciate it. Thanks, brother. Right on. Alright. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbumble at MindPumpMedia.com.

Starting point is 01:09:47 The RGB Superbumble includes maps on the ball, maps performance, and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased expert exercise programming designed by Sal, Adam and Justin to systematically transform the way your body looks, feels, and performs. With detailed workout nutrients in over 200 videos, the RGB Superbundle has a 4-30-day money-back guarantee, and you can get it now plus other valuable free resources at MindPumpMedia.com. If you enjoy this show, please share the love by leaving us a five-star rating and review on iTunes and by introducing MindPump to your friends and family. We thank you for your support and until next time, this is MindPump.

Starting point is 01:10:35 you

Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 717: Vince Del Monte is Reinventing Himself

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.