Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 782: Sex With Emily

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

In the episode, Sal, Adam & Justin have a candid conversation about sex with Dr. Emily Morse of the popular and long-running podcast Sex with Emily. Learn more about Emily at www.sexwithemily.com. ��I have always been fascinated by sex.” She describes her background. (6:48) What are the biggest misconceptions about sex? (10:45) What are her thoughts on the easy access to porn? (17:55) How much, in her opinion, is a healthy dose of masturbation? (20:53) We all have to do the work ourselves. Where did her education come from? (23:44) What is her definition of amazing sex? (26:45) Is sexuality more of a spectrum? What are the biggest challenges about sex? (30:45) What pros does she see to refraining from sex? (34:45) What practices does she teach her clients when it comes to having a healthy sexual relationship? (37:55) Is a squirting orgasm a real thing for women and why does it matter? (44:21) Let’s talk about sex toys. Which ones does she recommend for men and women? (49:45) What common sexual mistakes does she see men/women make? (56:51) Is there a healthy/unhealthy amount of sex a couple should be having? (1:01:21) What are her views on “open” relationships? (1:06:50) Should the man always be dominant in the bedroom? (1:16:30) What are the common bad habits couples make? (1:17:55) Where does the term “whore-gasm” come from? (1:19:00) Are their supplements/herbs for better arousal? (1:21:50) Featured Guest/People Mentioned: Sex with Emily PodcastOne: Sex with Emily Emily Morse (@sexwithemily) Instagram Ben Greenfield (@bengreenfieldfitness)  Instagram Jordan Harbinger (@jordanharbinger)  Instagram Related Links/Products Mentioned: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction: How does it happen? What Physiological Changes Can Explain the Honeymoon Phase of a Relationship? Our analysis of five decades of sex research shows an evolving spectrum of sexual norms Sorry, guys: 80 percent of women fake it Nature and origin of "squirting" in female sexuality Female ejaculation orgasm vs. coital incontinence: a systematic review (Having) Sex With Emily Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships - Book by Tristan Taormino Would you like to be coached by Sal, Adam & Justin? You can get 30 days of virtual coaching from them for FREE at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Get our newest program, MAPS HIIT, an expertly programmed and phased High Intensity Interval Training program designed to maximize fat burn and improve conditioning. Get it at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Also check out Thrive Market! Thrive Market makes purchasing organic, non-GMO affordable. With prices up to 50% off retail, Thrive Market blows away most conventional, non-organic foods. PLUS, they offer a NO RISK way to get started which includes: 1. One FREE month’s membership 2. $20 Off your first three purchases of $49 or more (That’s $60 off total!) 3. Free shipping on orders of $49 or more You insure your car but do you insure YOU? If you don’t, and you are the primary breadwinner, you will likely leave your loved ones facing hardship and struggle if you die (harsh reality). Perhaps you think life insurance is expensive, but if you are fit and healthy, you can qualify for approved rates that are truly inexpensive and affordable. To find out if you qualify for the best rates in the industry, go get a quote at www.HealthIQ.com/mindpump Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Get Organifi, certified organic greens, protein, probiotics, etc at www.organifi.com Use the code “mindpump” for 20% off. Go to foursigmatic.com/mindpump and use the discount code “mindpump” for 15% off of your first order of health & energy boosting mushroom products. Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Also includes 20% if you purchase! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Have questions for Mind Pump? Each Monday on Instagram (@mindpumpmedia) look for the QUAH post and input your question there. (Sal, Adam & Justin will answer as many questions as they can)

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, with your hosts. Salta Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. Yesterday, I finally watched the movie Sal that you would told me to watch. Oh, you didn't. I've heard a bunch of people telling me this. Get out. I don't like scary movies. That movie's fucking crazy. I've heard a lot about this movie. I've not a bunch of people telling me this get out. I don't like scary movies that movie is fucking crazy A lot about this movie have not seen it yet. It's so good. It is really good

It's it's it's really and I don't like really creepy. I'm not it's not like it is it is But it's good though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no it's well-made. It is it's very well written I think it's done it's they did a really good job. It's very original. I love watching a movie That as I'm watching them, going like, oh, this is totally different. Like I'm trying to figure out what they're doing here. That's it. Just keeps you thinking.

There's some nice twists in it. Yeah, it is. It's good. So definitely have like a M night shamala mala feel. M night shamala mala. Shamala mala. The another movie I watched the other night, that was good, it was game night.

That was really fun. Have you guys seen that? Yeah, another original. That's it. Another original movie. That's the point of it. You was really fun. Yeah, that's a good scene. Yeah, another original episode another original movie It's a point. You just finally watch grandma's boy. Yeah, you know what movie? I did watch that I wasn't impressed with Justin I'm blaming you. Oh blaming me. Yeah, I'm gonna blame you 100% Solow throw some blame solo back at you. Oh, you watch solo. You didn't like I didn't say it was the greatest one Bro, I just I'm a fan of all things Star Wars

So I have to kind of like it. Oh no, my boy was all kind of like me on it too. It wasn't okay. It wasn't anything that was like, I'm gonna jump out of my seat for. Yeah. We call it defancy. I didn't hate it.

I'm just kidding, it's like your fault. I didn't hate it. It's a good fault. No, I'm just saying. Okay, do you see that's tinking at the box office? Oh, it is. Yeah, like it's tinking bad. So you see that's tinking at the box office? Oh, it is. Yeah, like it's, it's tinking bad. So you know, here's the feeling I get Justin

and I love for you to put your opinion in here is that and we talked a little bit off air yesterday about this because Justin and I were talking about the solo movie because I haven't seen it. It is, you know, is it just a business move? Yeah. Is it, is this not about writing and is this not about creativity?

Is this more like we see what Marvel's done with all the Fucking Marvel movies and how that's a fucking bajillion dollars that they're making off of that and all that The dudes just keep intertwining all these stories. Well, and are they taking a page out of that? It's I mean, it's kind of like they're They're trying to fill the void of what was created as far as like the fans wanted such and such to happen. They want these kind of characters in there. And they're feeding way too much into that to where it's not like an original, you know, story or watching like you kind of know the, you know, how it's all going to kind of play out.

And they're introducing characters that, you know, were fan favorites, but it just feels like forced. That's what I mean. They didn't give enough time to show the development of the relationship between Chewie and Solo to see Solo's development. They didn't spend enough time on these things that are really important.

It's almost like they went step one to step. Yeah, but is that because they plan on doing a whole one on Chewie? Yeah, I think exactly. It's just like it totally mirrors, I think, what they did with Marvel. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

That's right. Yeah, so it's, and I mean, what do you think of the actor that played Solo? Do you think he did a good job? You know, I like him like that he's, I've never seen him before and he's like an original actor, but tough to fill Harrison for. He didn't, he's not that charismatic though. He's like an original actor. It's tough to feel Harrison Ford. He's not that charismatic though.

He's like kind of flat. He didn't, because Solo, I mean, was cocky as fuck. He's just cocky. You almost don't like him, but you can't help but like him. And this guy was an asshole. Like, you know, but he's like a lovable asshole. This guy, yeah, exactly. This guy was too so friendly.

Yeah, he was, he would, they should have shown him being more of that kind of asshole whatever, but he was too nice. Yeah, yeah, friendly. Yeah, he was, he would, he should have shown him being more of that kind of asshole whatever, but he was too nice. Yeah, pretty funny. Yeah. I had a, he'd conversation about this is my brother because he's, he's Mr. Technical like Star Wars guy. I'm like, you know, I just love the storyline

and everything with it. Why did they break a bunch of, oh yeah, there was like, there was like something that they'd mentioned about like some, some death bond or something with like chewy and Hawn that they had like that that brought them together that didn't even mention in the story and all this kind of stuff like he's like Getting super nerd, you know He's over-trumping minor, which is hard to do. That's hard to do. It's really hard to do. So this this interview with

I did. That's hard to do. So this interview with Dr. Emily Morse. Good interview huh? Sex with Emily. She's a vibrant, vibrant young lady. Good conversation. I like that. We went everywhere with this.

There was no holds bar with the sex conversation. No, this was great. This is not my first time having sex with Emily though, but this is really, I thought the, I mean with an Emily is what I mean by that. Right. It's not the first time having sex with Emily though, but this is really, I thought the, I mean, with an Emily is what I mean by that. Right, so it's the first time, first time forming a workout for you there. Nice. I thought it was, you know, I thought it was a lot of fun. Again, you got it, I got it.

You got it. You got it first. Shout out to, is that your first Emily? Yeah, that's my first one. Shout out to Tom Billu and Lisa Billu. Again, this is another interview that they opened their home up for us and allowed us to come in and hang out all day and interview people I thought that was fucking rad. Yes, super. I mean just amazing people and Emily's cool man

She was super down to earth blast. She's been podcasting for what she say 10 12 years like that You could say she could say she podcast hard. She does. Yeah, she's been in the industry She's been through all the changes in the industry. She's definitely a veteran in this world of podcasting. She's, yeah, she's been in the industry all the time. She's been through all the changes in the industry. She's definitely a veteran in this world of podcasting. She's, it's great meeting people like that because typically when you meet someone, like people think we've been podcasting a long time because so many more people have heard about it, but they don't realize it's been around for a long time.

She's been podcasting along with the Ben Greenfield. Yeah, you know. We really like her style. We got the subject matter. And we got to talk about that. We didn't like to talk about that matter. And we got to talk about that. I didn't like to talk about that. Also, I do want to mention, I think when this airs, you only have one day left for one of the biggest promotions

we've done the entire year. So the promotion is you get the nutrition guide and the fasting guide for free if you enroll in any of our bundles and bundles where we take multiple mass programs, put them together and discount them like 30% off. So this is your last chance to take advantage of that phenomenal offer, especially before Christmas. Please do before Christmas. You got a lot of time before. Summer.

Summer. It's before summer. You want to get fit, ripped, you want to look good, get yourself a bundle, get those two nutrition components for free. You can find those at mindpumpmedia.com. Now Dr. Emily Morse, you can find her on her podcast, which is Sex with Emily. Her website is sexwithemily.com and her Instagram is at sex with Emily. So without any further ado,

here we are talking to Dr. Emily. What's your background, Emily? My background, in the sense of how did I, which in what part, like a wrong Michigan, how did I get into sex? Yeah, yeah. Had I get into sex? There we are.

Same way, everybody did. I'm real. I got into, my background is, I started a podcast 13 years ago in my living room in San Francisco. 13 years ago. You were like, you heard OG OG.

Like the first month of podcasting. Freaking, that's a Southern Ben Greenfield. That's amazing. Yeah, I don't know that is. Oh, I do know we is because I went to some award show and he was there because I think he did podcasts for,

what did he do? Oh wow, 13 years. He's been in my nine years. So we use like, I know, I was like a friend for, I was on his podcast and he was like, well, we, and used like all our standards. I was like a forum girl. I was on Adam's podcast. He was like, well, we, and I'm like, no, I was like a year before. Yeah, it's been a long time.

So what made you do that? I was a little bit of pressure. Right. So I live in San Francisco. I moved to LA five years ago, but at the time, I was a looking to do something around sex, sex education, sex, documentary actually is worried, the first idea, because I was a documentary filmmaker. I worked in politics, you guys are from the Bay Area, right? Yeah.

So I worked in politics for like 10 years in San Francisco and I was working for Willie Brown and I was made a documentary about him. So after that, I thought, I love telling people stories and I, whatever you do to anything creative, as you know, you have to be passionate about it. Like it has to be, you can't just kind of like, I don't know, work for higher rounds.

I've always been fascinated by sex and relationships and what makes people, how do you have amazing sex? How do you have great relationships? It just did something that would be confounded me my whole life. I came from a divorced family and I was like, marriage was never this thing that I was really excited about. But what happened, what kind of propelled the podcast was that I had started doing that at cable access show and documentary around sex interviewing everyone I knew about their

sex life and their relationships. It was at the very early stages where you're just shooting some things and I thought I always heard people saying like I had amazing sex or I had horrible sex and I was like I think I've had pretty good sex but I think if sex could be amazing that would be something great to be an expert at because first of all, we all have sex and people would be infinitely interested in that. And also, I just would love to talk like I would love to have the best sex in my life. I don't think I've had it yet. When people would say to me, they had amazing sex or great sex. I was like, what does that mean? Like back up, do you mean like, was it penis double jointed? You're saying from the rafters.

You know, like, we do have 18 orgasms. like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited.

I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited.

I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. I was like, you're so excited. connecting people and hearing their stories. And that sounds amazing. So we hired some kind of Craigslist, who did sound. And we, like, we had mics like this and a board. And I invited like a bunch of friends over, married gay, straight, single.

And I just started talking to them about sex and dating and marriage and love. And that's how it started. That is my background. It's made that three more succinct at some point. But that's, it's not though, because it was like, whoa, and then I released it that on iTunes. And then it just became this thing. And I was not the expert at the time. But I was, I was like, whoa, and then I released it on iTunes and then it just became this thing.

And I was not the expert at the time, but I was, I was like, well, I have a lot of therapy, but I had not went at like the sex expert because we realized it would, a lot of the questions it would come in. Because eventually I just started getting emails people asking questions and we're about like, you know, I don't know, relationships and anxiety

and how people feel about themselves. And then I went back to school and got my doctor at homosexuality. I've done 5,000 podcasts. I've read every single book on sex marriage dating and anxiety and how people feel about themselves. And then I went back to school and got my doctorate in the sexuality. I've done 5,000 podcasts. I've read every single book on sex, marriage, dating, loving that I did get a doctorate in 2009. Wow, I love how you just like downplayed that at the end. Yeah, like, what's your background?

She's like, you know, it's kind of valid. I'm a little bit, I'm a doctor. She meant? No, okay. Because I didn't know where to work, but you meant. No, I love that. I love that you didn't lead with that. I think that's something about your character.

Well, my first month of it, I was like, people like, why are you in X? Or whatever, I was like, I got a live radio show six months in, which is so random. Oh shit. Station in San Francisco called Free FM, which isn't around me, what was the CBS FM talk.

I was like, why are you an expert? And I was like, well, I've got some hands on experience, right? Because I've kind of had sex every now and then, but now I actually am a doctor. So that's cool. So what are some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding sex? I mean, with your amount of, with your experience, you've probably heard it all like, oh my God,

there's so many, there's like the men want sex more than women and like people just, so that's a misconception. Totally. It's like a myth. Now, why does it exist? Why does that myth exist? I mean, because God, why does it exist? That's like a myth. Like it's not what is it exists? What does that mean? I mean because God why does this exist? That's such a good question. I think that well Here's why everything misconception around sex exists because we don't have a lot of sex education

We don't talk about it. We don't feel comfortable around it because we've shame You know, we have we have a hence why your show does so well, right? Yeah Well, right exactly and I think the reason why too because my show is not like technically I'm talking about low jobs every weekend This is how you do it. That would get really old, but really it's about Getting people comfortable talking about sex and I think I talk about it We're like talking about the weather and it's cool and we all have sex and relationships and we all date and we get married We get married and we want to figure it out

So it's a safe space to talk about it and to give to advise people But I think it exists because we just, we make things up. It comes from religion, perhaps the church, or wherever you know, I'm Jewish. So wherever anything, our households, we don't, we don't feel comfortable in sex. No one ever talks to us about it. And so I think that a lot of what we believe around sex

is not true. So there's so many misconceptions like people believe that we are set in ways that we have sex so for women for example, I think that a lot of women believe they can only orgasm in a certain way. Like, or they believe that it's limited the sexual experience that they've had. So women might say like, I can only have, and I can't ever have an orgasm during an, of course. Like I get asked that question all the time. I've heard that a lot actually.

Only through oral sex or only through oral stimulation. Or not an oral stimulation. I can never have an orgasm in all these things. But it's like, let's say you've never have an adorant an occurs. That might be true for you, but maybe it's because you actually don't know.

Only an only 30% of women do have orgasms during an occurs. So that's another misconception. Oh shit, I didn't know that. Yeah, so women feel bad their whole lives. I'm broken, something's wrong. But typically just because they don't have enough clitoral stimulation, either before or during, because that's where all the magic happens. Like the clitoris is 8,000 nerve endings. Like the only reason the clitoris exists is for female pleasure. The penis has 4,000. So, do you guys are way better? What? You guys are way better. That's why like,

using together. So the myth, because it's like, leave it. That's why I like to use them together. So they make it because it's like out. But we just hate it. That's why I like to use them together. We love to get together. Oh my God. You've got to say, there's your first tip right there. I'm saying penis though has more, but there's not like clear stats on that.

I'm not reasoned, but yeah. So I just think it's, we are just so set in these fixed ways of thinking about sex and like anything's possible. Just like, like it's fitness in a way, right? Like you will think, oh, I'm, I'm not an athlete or I can never get in shape or that's not for me. But like for sex, like the possibilities are endless. So I just tell your women it's like just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that you can actually have an orgasm. How much of it do you think is like,

I mean, as far as like getting into that mental space of, of, you know, going through that process, like for women, especially like to get to a place where they feel like, you know, I'm ready. I'm ready for an experience that I'm gonna, you know, go all in on. You mean when they're actually having sex every time? The fright before sex. Women, okay, so that is such a good question

because here's the other, it's kind of a misjudgment, but it's more like, people every person who has sex should have to know this. So I'm gonna tell you now, I'm like, I'm such a man now, I'm like, she's a man. So men are like, men are like frying pans, right? Women are still cookers, the way we get a rouse

in turn on. So you walk in and you see your partner, maybe we're talking about heterosexual couples, right? And you're ready to go, you see your partner visually, you're turned on, you're reaction, you're like, yeah, and she's like sitting there maybe, like she's finishing a work, you walk in the house, right? She's watching, she walk in and she's like, there maybe like she's finishing a work. You're walking to the house right. She's watching you walk in and she's like, what?

Like sex is the farthest thing from it. I'm so not turned on right now. So for women, it needs to be top of mind. We get a rouse thinking about sex and then moving it through our body or getting to, you know, for play, like for play, like not just a suggestion. It's actually a requirement for women. We need to get turned on and a rouse. So, but you could do a lot of that. You could start texting sexy things before you see

or you could start like, you know, I think like four plays starts after the last orgasm. So whatever you have to do if you want to shorten that time, but women need at least like 20 minutes of four plays. 10, but we're usually just men just think I can go right in. I'm aroused and women are typically not. Do you think it's because, and going back to the myth that men want sex more often, the women, do you think part of it maybe that women, there's always, they have to feel safe, in other words, there's always that threat of being assaulted

or not being comfortable or whatever, whereas a man, we never really feel that. So for us, it's easy to like get in the mood and go for it where they have to feel comfortable first. That's such a good question. I think that men, you guys, the women, one of the main things that women report when they have orgasms with the partners when they feel safe with someone. So it's not even, and I never thought about the sense of like we're going to be assaulted,

but that's a huge thing too. It's more like, can I trust this guy? Have I noticed, is he someone that I feel that I can just let go and be myself and have crazy sex and have my orgasm and make the face and do all those things? And it's because, yeah, we want it then to kind of let our mind relax.

But since our mind is an overdrive, I spend a lot of time talking about like having mindful, you know, sex or mindful masturbation practice you can learn to get into your body. But I think that's a huge thing. Yeah, we're not safe and comfortable with you. We're mostly not gonna have sex with you and if we do, it won't be as satisfying. What's mindful masturbation? It's something that I kind of like, I don't know if I made it up, but it's a practice

that you just, a man can do it as well. I think that we just have to, and we have sex. Pretty good at it. Yeah, guys like, I don't need to remind men to mess with me, by the way, or give them any stuff. The women, they're like, we don't, because sex isn't as tough, and we don't see it, and I'm not saying no women, okay? I don't want to hear angry things real, but most time women, we're not walking around all day

like going, like, look at the, you know, although I think, look at that eggplant, like, or look at that, look at that, look at that, like, we're at girl foods, and we're like, look at that carrot, you know, stock of carrots. I want to have sex, it's a phallic, where men can just see anything

and they can think about sex. So we're not as tough a mind for women. So I think in typically when we masturbate, we do it with the goal of orgasm. And so for women, a great practice is to masturbate without the goal of orgasm. But just to like, you know, you might, you'll probably get there, but just kind of.

So meaning to play with yourself without the intention of master, or what feels good be so many Roger zones on our body that we don't even know about, like nipple orgasms, like so many of them can have a breast orgasm, our nipple orgasm and they don't, because they're very common, but they've never spent the time hanging out.

You guys can help as well, it's a four place. So just kind of master your breathing into your body, I think for women to hold our breath, then we forgot to breathe during sex. Like, Jamie, who's worked for me for three years, we're always learning new things. She was like six months ago, she was like, I know you've been saying this forever,

but I wasn't about to write, I finally breathe during sex, like deep into my pelvic floor, she said, I have multiple orgasms, like there's these little simple things, you know that you could learn and tell people that like, wow, so during life, what you're just thinking about,

you know, your body, what feels good and just kind of taking the pressure off and you're out of your head and you're, you know. Speaking of masturbation, what do you think of this right now in this era that we live in with YouTube and the phones and be able to connect to all these videos?

I know if I was a teenage boy, I probably would never leave my bedroom with the amount of access you have to nudity and porn pornography. I was so right. When we were kids, it was so valuable because you could get it. Right. It was a big deal. So I'm curious if you think that's a healthy relationship potentially for some of these teenage boys that are probably getting oversaturated with the porn. So, I'm really nervous about porn, right? I have to be honest. And I'm not anti-poorn.

And I think that porn serves some great purposes. I think it's great for couples to watch together so you can see, that would be really hot. We could try this with that. It's great just for stimulation if you use it like anything in moderation, right? But my problem with porn is that a lot of young kids that's old. That's the first thing that signs sex They're ever seeing and then they're thinking that's how sex should happen and then they have sex with someone for the first time And they're like, why didn't you bring six of her friends and all over me? Why? Why? Why? Why?

This is your... This is your young Jedi See what the one who's the two-star-rounder. That's the two-star-rounder. And so there's all these misconceptions. It's bad for men and for young girls too, because then they're having sex and the women are thinking, how I need to move like this porn star,

a moan in this certain way. Our guys are like, oh, she wants to be choked. That every woman's choked important. So, and then they get oversaturated by it. And then they're at think, well, it's a lot so scary. I already don't have any skills. I don't have strong communication skills because I've learned everything through my phone

or it's all been through Snapchat. I don't know how to talk to women. And it's much easier to stay on mastermate because that feels good. So, there's a whole loop going on with porn that when people look at his education and it's a rectile dysfunction used to be non-existent and men in their 20s almost non-existent and now

It's becoming a problem exactly and I think you're just we're just desensitizing the hell out of ourselves It's no different than eating a shit ton of sugar and then you go try and eat some fruit and it doesn't taste like anything Like just deep being desensitized and I could see the thing Yeah, so I would say that men do need a mindful masturbation practice and I have talked about this It's like you it's like, if you feel that if the guys are listening to this going, yeah, you know what, I keep, you have to keep raising the level of porn that I watch, it keeps going at that level of like

nothing turns me on anymore. Now I have to see some, it always gets crazy. The longer you watch it. Right. Exactly, right? You're like, Oh, I know like the wherever the tame stuff. So I would say, yeah, if that is a challenge for you, um, scale back a little bit, or maybe don't start with porn. Maybe start with, like, just your mind, like good old fashioned ways. And the hot thing that happened to you last week,

or back in the day. You could back in the day, right? And then if you're like, okay, I did it for 10 minutes, then you can bring in your porn or every other time. And then eventually it's like anything, right? Like bringing, introducing new foods, I'm not gonna say you need to do drastic change, because that's not realistic to say, right now, I quit porn or I quit anything, right? Like bringing, introducing new foods. I'm not going to say you need to do drastic change because that's not realistic to say right now I quit porn or quit anything, but kind of like just try to have sex in other ways. No, I'm sure there's, I'm sure there's

tons of, you know, individual variants. But do you have like a, a healthy dose of masturbating for what you would recommend to somebody like him, you know, if Sal's doing it like three times a day, is that overly, is that overly, is that a little blessing? Why would you even know that? That's a problem, so I'm gonna be right. Exactly. Well, because he makes these breaks all the time in the middle of the day.

It's obvious. Sometimes he gives me a hand. That's a nice way. See, that's a nice way. It's like, you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful. I have no problem with people masturbating as much as they want until there's a problem.

So until it wreaks havoc on your life and you have consequences. So if, let's say Paul was masturbating, she's Paul. You got it. So let's say you were masturbating. He moans call sometimes. He could no longer. You guys were all masturbating until you couldn't work. You're like, come on dude, she's here.

We're doing podcasts. You could start impacting your life, your career, your relationships. Then there's a problem. Is that happened? Is that all the time? No, wow. Or for sex, they're watching too much porn,

and they can no longer ever want to see it woman again. Or they can become and never leave their house, like video games, or their sex addiction. It's kind of a loopy, like, oh, is it real? Is it not? I'm like, if there's a consequence, I'm not going to say that you're labeled as their sex addiction, it's kind of a loopy, like, oh, is it real? Is it not? I'm like, if there's a consequence, I'm not gonna say that you're in a label,

you're a sex addict, but if you can only, you know, that's the only way you want to feed yourself is watching porn, you can no longer even get off with your partner. I would say that there's a challenge. There's a problem. If it gets to a level where you have to have a robot, how do you feel about that?

Sex robots, it's the whole thing. That's gonna be weird. It's only because of the place now. It's happened right, like it's already happened. They're brothels with like, yeah. With robots. That's gonna pose some serious challenges, I think. Yes, for sure there's challenges around robots.

Like, I think that, I mean, I still like to think that this intimate human connection is gonna be like what we desire most, but I could also see that there's going to be a lot of people, guys and women, her gonna make it safer. I know I'm getting, I can tell them to go down to me for 20 minutes. He's not gonna complain about it. She's going to feel amazing and she's going to do all the, I can program her to to do whatever I want. So I would like to say no, but I think that it's going to, hopefully in moderation, or you have like a row up party.

But I actually actually, I'm talking about it. There's gonna be challenges like at these brothels where they need to, they're dirty, like you actually need to, and as your nose can get dirty, you actually need to use protection, and you need to like clean out the robot.

So I think that the way sex is going, yeah, I would love people to work on intimacy and connection more than anything right now. Like if you feel like, like, I didn't feel at my phone, like, I'm so glad I'm away from my phone now for an hour. I know when I work out, I don't have my phone. Well, I do have a running, I guess, but I want to get to watch without the, whatever. Point is, turning off your phone feels so good and stepping away from it and communicating with me. Right, right.

Definitely. I'm curious to, if you got into the sex space, like we got into the fitness space, and what I mean by that is, you know, when I looked all the way back into what drove me into the gym first, it was actually rooted in some insecurities that I had. Like I wanted to be more muscular,

I wanted to be bigger, I felt skinny, and that's what originally drove me to work out. Now later on, I felt found health and wellness and a better balance. What about for you? Did you, what first true? That's a good question. So at first it started with, I knew it wasn't having

amazing sex. I was having good sex, but I felt like it couldn't tell when it was like sometimes it was good, but others. And I was like, I don't think I know, I think I could learn more. And I don't know. Were you blaming me at that time, were you blaming it on the guy? I used to, yeah, I think I could learn more. And I don't. Were you blaming me at that time? Were you blaming me on the guy?

Like, I used to, yeah. I used to for so long. And this is another misconception is that. So when I was younger, I think I actually know that a lot of young people, women think this, I thought like, someday my principal come and so will I, right? That he's going to wipe up on a white horse and he's going to know how to work my body. Because I was a late bloomer when it came to sex. I never masturbated.

It never even occurred to me. It didn't even think. I never heard that it was wrong. I just never touched myself. How old were you the first time? 20. Oh, wow. I had sex it for the first time in 18.

And then I went to car 17. And then I went to college. And I said to my girlfriend, she said, I was like, okay, what's the big friggin' deal with sex? I had a boyfriend for two years. I never had orgasms either. So that was the other thing. But this I, okay, so this was like when I was 20.

So they were like, have any of them masturbated? And I was like, no, I didn't even know about it. And they're like, do you have orgasms? And I didn't know about that either. And I don't know that's possible to be honest. Now looking back, but there wasn't internet. And so then I was like, oh, and then my, they were like sending me like articles

and they're like, read this about masturbation. And then I finally like, oh, and then my, my, they were like sending me like articles and they're like, read this about, you know, masturbation. And then I finally like masturbated and figured it out. Was it first time like amazing or did it take you all to figure out your gear? No, it took me a while. So it took me like, I probably took me about a month of, like, I had a toy and used my fingers and figuring it out. And then with a partner and yeah, it was amazing.

I was like, oh, now I get why you all love sex so much. But I think that I really believe that men were shipped off to someplace when they were kids and they learned all about the female body and that he would bring me my orgasm and he would deliver it to me and it would, because guys know, guys know everything. Guys know what, please me, I think that men are,

you believe that they're mine readers and I think that I learned, and I definitely, the last 13 years literally, just like I said, reading everything, I'm talking hundreds of thousands of people about sex and relationships, that's just obviously not true, that we all need to bring our game to sex. We all have to take to the work ourselves. Like what makes us feel that especially women

unlock all that, and then explain it to our partners, because they don't know, and I feel bad for guys now. So yes, I used to think why I blame my partner for not having an orgasm. I was like, well, that's his fault. So, but I think I had heard about orgasms. Okay, maybe I didn't hear about masturbation, but I had heard about orgasms because I remember when I was 19 thinking like it's his fault. And anyway, I don't run for the whole timeline now, but I did think that it was their faults. If you if you could define define for me what you think is amazing sex. What is what is your definition of for me? Epic sex. I think it's when you're really community when you're really connected and you communicate about your needs and you have no shame about my head thinking about anything else, but like connecting to that person and, um,

feeling seen, feeling, um, yeah, orgasms are great. So do you do not measure that? Like, I always thought that women would measure how great the sex was by how many orgasms they had in a session. So are you saying that you could have the most intimate, passionate, amazing sex of your life and maybe orgasm once, but then you've had other one times when you've done nine. Oh yeah, I love that we're talking about this because many women talk about this so differently. Yeah, you know, I'm interested.

We're not like, oh, that was the five orgasm guy. I'll never forget him. That's not like, oh wow. It's literally, because we can only have one usually. I'm telling you, you tell, right, you only have one, right. You're like, oh, three must be better. Right. Although I've had to, I've actually experienced multiple before,

which is very, very rare for a man. It's true. I think, I think, I don't know if it was like through, or just when you were, I don't know, men can have in different ways, but like moving your breath through your body and not actually having a ejaculation,

or guys are without ejaculation is a very fascinating practice for me. But women can have so no, I think for me, it's like when I felt, I don't think a lot of good sex now, but let's think. Especially since I started my show, like I'm so much more open to everything.

So I think it's, yeah, when we're really connected or it's fun or it's thrilling or it's unknown or like on vacation or we're doing something a little different or we're, um, what is that about that when we're with you're away or it's risky or it's like unknown or like on vacation or we're doing something a little different or we're, what is that about that when we're with you away or it's risky or it's bad or you're on vacation? What is it makes it so erotic or so in public? It's the unknown in public, right?

Yeah. I think it's that the thing that makes sex so hot and then you're gonna see why sex gets very unhot or gets unsexy after a while when you're with someone, which is totally not like there's nothing wrong with you. If you've been with someone for over six months to two years and you're like, what happened? The honeymoon phase is real. It's biology, like that whole newness.

So what makes it great is when it's new and exciting. So think of any first dating someone. You've never been to their house before. You've never been in their bed. You've never seen them make it. And you don't know what's happening next. And it's just thrilling. Everything's new and exciting and novel, which is what makes sex great.

But when you're in a relationship over time, you're like, I know what they're gonna do next. I've seen them naked. You have sex in this bedroom one more time. I'm gonna shoot myself. Turn it over. And I'm seeing all that. Turn over.

This is what happens. That's so freaking boring. But when you're on vacation, you don't have the dirty laundry, you don't have the bills, you don't have the neighbors, you have nothing to worry about. And it's a new place, someone else is gonna clean up the mess

and it's just, it's exotic and it's variety. We missed it. It has so much to do with your mental space or your emotional space. It's like, I feel like if you can have sex with someone and there's no boundaries and you feel free, that's when you have the best sex. I think that, and I think when you're on vacation,

you already feel that way. I'm not home, there's no rules, we can when you have the best set. Yeah. And I think when you're on vacation, you already feel that way. Like, I'm not home, there's no rules, we can get crazy, we can whatever. I feel like you could look at somebody and tell if they have good sex. Can you do that? I feel like someone of your expertise could like, she's getting down or you know,

I should do that. I feel like you could. I can tell it more by talking to someone for five minutes. Yeah, okay. Questions, yeah. But I don't think, I wish it was that way, but no, I'm gonna thank. Let me see if I can. Yeah, we I don't think I wish it was that way, but no, I'm gonna think. Let me see if I can. Yeah, we'll tell you. I'll look at us. Are you real? Yeah. No, I can be like the sexual and two, there's sometimes people on me like,

oh yeah, the sexual medium. I can't. I can't. Oh, no, this is what you need. Like I did the last night with some friends, and I'm like, whoa, I'm like, no, I know. They were new for it. They were like, you need some anal beads, You need a caulking and you need a switch. You need a swing. But I think, yeah, right, sex swings, those things are all real. I think I, my life, yeah, I always get to try fun things. I think it's, I've had so many good sexes.

Most of them are kind of novel, like crazy, where you get to more and you didn't know it was gonna happen. Or I've been with someone for a while that we did something great at them. So I read an article a while ago that I thought was fascinating. And it said that most people's first sexual experience, not sexual intercourse, but sexual experiences

with the same sex. And it was explaining how the sexuality is more of a spectrum rather than a, you're way on what, so is that true? That's true. That's right. And it's kind of, it's kind It's Kinsey actually said that everyone's on the spectrum. We're all on the scale. The Kinsey scale from one to 10, one being like very straight

and 10 being gay, that most people, even men, are not a one. Like very few people are a one, but we're sort of on the spectrum between like two to three and women are definitely more open, bisexual. Well, for sure, that's true because you, I mean, prison, you know, you've got a bunch of guys in there who's super, you know, macho, bisexual. Well, for sure, that's true, because prison, you've got a bunch of guys in there who's super macho, whatever. And sex happens all the time in that.

I just think that we're very limited in our beliefs around sex and what we think we're saying, we're saying that all the why people don't feel all these misconceptions that we just don't even know that fact that it's okay. And we're so, we're gonna be judged. We're gonna be called gay. You're gonna be called, if you had these relations. So if men had the member of

the opposite sex. So I think that yeah, it is on the continuum. And I just my goal is like, I just wish that more people would be open to looking at sex is something that is your sex life is expansive and your sexuality is expansive and you're constantly be learning and growing. And the more that you talk about sex to your partner and more you communicate your needs and learn your own body, learn about your own body, you will have better sex. It seems like it seems like the more taboo and the more repressed a society is or a culture is with sex the more

maybe sexual dysfunction or the more maybe sexual dysfunction or interest strange or different expressions of sex come out. Like you go to some country's website, you go, you get put to death for having sex outside of marriage and you see, you know, sexual expressions where people may be performing more things like bestiality or stuff like that. Like, is that really, is it, is it, is it such a, uh, in a desire that if we repress it, does it tend to come out that way?

I think so. I mean, I think if you look at like war, okay, this is political way, if you look at war in the Middle East, right? So they're told, they could have sex with 170 versions or versions, wherever it's 220 versions when they die. So I believe that there's a lot of so much

of versions. Repression, we are so repressed. It's like you try to repress people's sexuality until they can't do something, they're gonna do it. Oh Yeah, like they're not a lot of sex is wrong women are covered out You know our produce are lived in Japan for a while and Japan is very interesting When it comes to sexual culture where on one hand it can be very open on the other hand

It's very very taboo and he would say that he said that there were vending machines some areas with right to you panties Yeah, that you could buy and I'm like, well, and then of course, like some of the scratches for the panties. And, you know, I feel like it's because of their, the cultural represses is so much that it comes out in a weird way. Right. Yeah, exactly. It comes out here in where it was, too, right?

Like, if you think about our porn conception, or you think about addiction, or rape, or trauma, or, you know, it's like the biggest challenge around sex is that we don't teach in schools, for all we teach nothing. And if we do, we teach about like, it's all fear based, right? We're gonna get SD, we're gonna get pregnant. We talk nothing, we don't ever teach about pleasure, self pleasure and masturbation, which I think we actually absolutely need to teach in schools and we need to teach kids about like their bodies and they do that in Norway, they do it in France, they like a 3D clitoris that teach the kids about that.

Like I didn't even know about the clitoris, like really. So why don't we just, and especially the Justin still trying to figure it out? Yeah. It's an complicated mask room. It's like the journey and everyone's different, every woman is different. So if you put like a hundred women in a room and they were all masturbating,

they'd all be doing something different. How the hell are you guys gonna know? Like I said, my heart opens wide for men. He thought it was behind the ear just like two weeks ago. That was what? He thought it was behind the ear just like two weeks ago. So that's not it? I wouldn't know.

So we're talking really. We're pricing anything is going to be going on. Okay, so that's the cons of it. Now, do you see, can we play Devil's Advocate? Do you see any pros for somebody who refrained from having sex until marriage and they got married and had, then they would say to you, oh, I have great sex.

Like, what would you say to that? Sure, as long as they're at, listen, I'm not gonna put, I'm still not like, oh, this is right and this is wrong. I feel like that's totally possible. You could learn to fall in love with someone. I would think they could have amazing sex, but I also want to say like, as long as they're working, there's no way if they don't talk about sex or they're not working on their sex. It's impossible. Like to have great sex if you've never.

Because I can see the, I can see the positives that too. If you have two people that are experiencing all of it together and trying new things all the time. And if they have the ability to, I just think that a lot of people growing together, yeah. But if one person is evolving and growing, the other is, and it's gonna be a disconnect. Exactly, right. Yeah, I feel like it would be more like, wait until you're ready and you're with someone

that you wanna have sex with the first time. Marriage is interesting. If people wait till they're married, that tends to come more from a religious standpoint and religion doesn't have the greatest track record in terms of how views sex and stuff. Right. And this is the other thing about people are pressing it. It's not even that the thing that I deal with a lot too on my show is that people, we don't even realize these messages from childhood, everything happens in childhood,

right? Like all of our beliefs around our bodies. And our bodies said you were a skinny kid and you wanted to grow, you know, and I, I think women and men, body image issues that we don't want to be naked in the bedroom and we were also told that you, you know, that you, masturbation is wrong, that it's dirty, to touch yourself, that it's, you could go blind or like wait till marriage

it's all, it's nothing. And so we might have gone to church and hated it, but that's so what we heard. We might have gone to wherever, our parents might have said, like there's a moment in our lives, I think we're, and we realize as kids, like we're actually born being like these perfect, right?

We still are perfect, but these human, these little babies, we know nothing, but we start to get messages. And for women, it's like you're, you're a little baby, right? And your mom's like your parents, the first thing we learn about our vagina, I was like they're like, okay, here's your knees,

and your thighs, and then they skim your belly button. And they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're, but that's dirty, that's wrong, do that in private. So it has no name and it's private. And then we're like, get our period. We're like, you're gonna be a woman. And I'm like, I'm a woman down on text preamps. I hate everybody and that's what a lot of chocolate. So what, like there's no information. And then you can go in, you've sex for the first time and most of them will probably tell you,

it's not that great. Maybe guys, you can tell you that too, right? Right, you heard that on both sides for sure. You're like, what? This whole sex taboo thing, and now it's not that great. But no one's correcting the stories here. No one's saying backup, no one's saying like this,

so that's why I feel like I will never, I will always be helping me, but I'm like, always have something to talk about. I feel like when I started, they were like, are you gonna be able to talk about sex every day? I'm like, yes, because every day, I'm always learning too, but people are always at these same questions coming up and we have to undo stuff in the past

or relearn stuff and just kind of move towards the future to see what's possible. What do you think the big rocks are? So we talk about this, we just got interviewed by Tom on their health theory and one of the things that was so different about mind pump when we came to this space was everybody wants to talk about the new cutting edge this, cutting edge this and the new science and the new pill and try this, try that. And one of the things that we talk a lot about are the boring stuff that's been around forever, which is...

The most important stuff. Yeah, but it's the big rock, so like get rid of the stress and sleep better and get some sunlight and walk. And, you know, these things, those are really going to make the most impact on your overall health and fitness journey more so than this great new pre-workout or pill that just came out. Exactly. And so I feel like the same thing is with sex, right? There's probably all the greatest gimmicks and pills next thing to take. Toys.

What do you look at as like your rock or like the things that you coached to? Um, okay, so the thing that I mean is the main thing I talk about is communication. Like I always say communication is lubrication. So what does that look like though for somebody who doesn't have good communication with their relationships? I feel like we look okay, so like practices. Do you give like, hey, listen, why don't you, if you don't ever come to your wife, I'll say, tell us a reason why not being just straightforward.

Like, I'm a guy. I'm a workaholic. I'm passionate about what I do. So very easily I can become the guy who comes home from work, walks right past his wife, goes into upstairs and then starts working on his laptop, and then literally maybe kisses or can night and goes to sleep.

Like a day could happen like that. So I have to, and I've done this before, you know, coming from work, and I'm probably listening to something that has to do with work or multitasking when I'm driving. And I get in my driveway and I know Katrina's in the house and I go, okay, I'm home now. I need to become home.

I'm gonna breathe and get down. Yeah. You almost have to set those, yeah, meditation, all being mindful. And when you're in a relationship that where you're communicating, okay, so this is the thing around sex. And I will get into some basic pillars of it

because I think that's so important is that So there's all these other areas our life that we focus on right like health We spend a lot of time thinking about health nutrition our jobs like everything that we care about right We put a lot of time into like exercising religion spirituality Our relationships our jobs are family, but sex is like this One thing in our life that's actually really important, in fact, I would argue, probably the most important thing, because when there's a problem with sex and a relationship, it becomes everything. But we think it's always been amazing and

magical and like unicorns and worshiping. All by itself. By itself, without ever working on it, without ever thinking about it or talking about it. And the second there's a problem, we're like, oh my god, we should break up or oh my god, we don't know what to do. But if you are in a relationship, so what it looks like is the second you start having sex with someone or you, right now you've been having sex with someone with the same person for 10 years, it's never too late to start, talk about it.

And that could look like, so how was it? And it doesn't have to be in the bedroom, I think that during sex is not the best time to talk about sex unless you're in pain. But take it out and be like, out, stop. 80% of women experience pain during sex and don't say anything. Or we'll experience pain at some point in their life and most of them don't talk about it because we think it's normal.

But I would say just like, what do you want to try? What did you like about that? Play by play, like, what worked for you? What didn't? Was that cool the way I touched you, you jumped there for a minute? What are you doing right there? What are you doing there, stop, right?

But really, what turned you on? What do you think about? Do you masturbate? We could do mutual masturbation together. That's a great learning tool for couples. Because when you do that together, then you're like, oh, I never knew you touched yourself that way. First of all, it's great education on what you're doing.

And it's hot. Like it's like kind of for me. Does she have great bitch bark too? Because if she's having way more fun by herself, you got to work to do that. Exactly, exactly. And she wants to see, but she might have shamed it. Why don't masturbate?

Like, we all masturbate or we shud? Oh, by the way, man, not only any guy doesn't want to, yeah, I mean, if a woman masturbates, what a great thing to hear from your girl? Yeah, it's insane. Oh, end of walking on, just saying. But she doesn't know that because no, like, she probably thought this is another way women are raised

that it means that she's a slut, that she's really into her, like that, you know, that something's wrong or dirty if she's going up, so she ashamed around it. So to be like, I think it's so hot, the show me your toys, show me what you do. Like that you don't, the toys never going to replace you. It can just add to your intimacy. Yeah, great conversation.

No people can do that, you intimacy. Break conversation. Break conversation. You know, so it just doesn't. So I think communicating around sex and then you were to ask me the main things are I think to, to, to, God learn to love your body. Like really like we are not, so as you for, for, for women and for men,

like we are not thinking about your body the way you are. Like no, for women, I'm like, he's in the room with you. He's not when like, her left boob is bigger than her right bo, I'm like, he's in the room with you. He's not like, her left boob is bigger than her right boob. He's like, she's got this weird birthmark. She gained weight. And if you can't sell it, isn't that funny how we are about ourself, you know?

Or about yourself. Like he's happy to maybe sex with you right now and he's with you in the room. Like things are amazing, but we're not thinking about that. And women, we're not thinking about your penis. For guys, we're not thinking about your penis size. Like I swear to God, men are so obsessed

with the size of their penis that I've gotten more in 13 years and like tens of thousands of questions I've answered, people email or call in. It's usually his penis is too big. What am I gonna, like, how do I have sex with them? Or like, it's a problem. Not like, it's so small, I broke up with them. So everyone's got to stop stressing out all that.

You look like you don't believe me, but I say. No. No. This is like, don't believe me, but I say. No! You must have done it. I like my girlfriend. I don't want to throw that joke out there. That's how I was debating. You're right.

I just think it's really about being in touch with your birthday. You are being in touch with your body and being comfortable with it. It is really like masturbating and... Conversations. I was married for 15 years and got divorced about, it's got to spend two and a half years, maybe three years now, and then started dating someone and it was very different in terms of how we communicated and especially how we communicated sex. And with my girlfriend now we're so open, we can talk about anything and it's the most, it's the sexiest thing ever. And in the confidence also, I think for women listening,

like if you're confident, you don't have to look perfect. Just being naked and being confident, that is a massive turn on to a man. Exactly, be confident. Rocket, love your body. So I tell women, like look in the mirror, like love, like really, like whatever you can do to touch yourself, learn to love your body.

Walk around naked, dance naked. These things actually work and they sound really silly, but yes, it is confidence is everything. And it's the sexiest thing to men and women. Like I think that we all think that a confident woman, like she's rocking her body. She knows, it's the other thing. When you have orgasms and you know what makes yourself feel good

and you know what you want, that is so sexy in the bedroom. Extremely, extremely. Let's talk about sporting. You mentioned that earlier. Good trends, is it? Yeah, I know. You mentioned earlier.

You mentioned earlier, right? You mentioned earlier, I'm like, we got to ask about that. What is it in I've heard people debate? Is it real? Is it not? But what is it? What is the fluid that's coming out?

And how do you make it happen? OK, I would think you can't. These are really more questions. So squirting is real. Like if you've been with, you know, of course squirting happens. Women can squirt, they can learn to squirt. It's, there are traces of urine in it.

For some women, maybe more or less traces, fewer, lots of traces of urine or, but it's also periorethral fluid from the periorethral gland. So that's where most of it is coming from. So it's not, it's also periorethral fluid from the periorethral gland. So that's where most of it is coming from. So it's not, it's not. Is that homogenous to like the prostate and the man? Is that like, okay.

Yeah, exactly. So. So it's literally ejaculate. Yeah, for a few minutes. Literally, it's like literally the same exact thing. So that's what it is. And I also think why does it matter? It's actually messy, it's dirty.

Right, right. It can be all these things. Like get a freaking towel and lay down your bed. Take a shower. Like the fact people think that sex is messy. I like the messy part anyways. It's like messy, it's hot. It's like sex is messy and it's fucking dirty.

And it can be really hot. And so for some women, they can learn through the G-spot. So it's through G-spot stimulation. And so you can learn to or even through that, like your pubic bound, like here's a thing, the G spot or internally, it's through internal stimulation. But for some women also, like the clitoris is not just that little, here's about going back to that. Is it a shape like a wishbone that goes around?

So there's clitoral legs that are behind the like the labia, the lips, if you will, the vagina. So there's like nerve endings. It's the vulva, really, and it's going down. So I'm like, yeah, it's like a wishbone. Okay. And that's where the nerve endings, they're extending through. There's a for some women, if they have a lot of pubic mound simulation, like above their pelvic, their, their, their clitorisic, this whole area, I'm like pointing to that people can see pressure on that could also. So, so pushing up or pushing down, okay. Yeah, both are pushing out, pushing out at the same time. Mm-hmm. And there's like, you could, there's, you could learn to do it.

It's a practice. You could have your partner do it with their fingers or with a toy. Now, is the squirting orgasm more intense than a regular orgasm? So for many women, they squirt and it also comes with an orgasm, comes along, packaged with an orgasm. And for a while, women, they squirt and it's not an orgasm. So it just, it can just feel really good. It's a different kind of orgasm,

or it's a different kind of release. But it's not necessarily an orgasm. Does it just happen on its own? Or does a woman have to train to attack? Does she have to try to like, almost push or push out? Or I've heard people women explain that they have to, almost like, they feel like, oh my God, I'm having orgasm. But I feel like I'm gonna pee.

Yep. Push and then you get, yeah, it can be all of those things. Like, I hate to be like, oh my god, I'm gonna have orgasm, but I feel like I'm gonna pee, push, and then you get, it can be all of those things. I hate to be like, it's exactly how every woman experiences, but yeah, I think that you know what it's gonna, you know what it's gonna happen, but it can feel like a lot of different things, but for a lot of them, you can squirt with that orgasm or orgasm without sporting, but it's a real thing.

So asking for a friend, how would you train for this? Right, exactly. I think that there's a lot of things. Yeah, asking for me. Well, training montage. I think that it's great to do it manually. So using your fingers, using her fingers or your fingers, and just like constant pressure, kind of like how you would

stimulate the G-spot. So, which is like that come Heather motion side, I shouldn't assume anything that everyone knows this right? G-spot? Yeah, well yeah, so in upright. Yeah. Okay. So, you put your like a one or two fingers inside and it's like about one and a half

or two inches inside and you do the come Heather motion like you insert it towards your belly button. And that's kind of where you're gonna find it. And it's like a rough spot that kind of feels like a, like a peach pit. And, but it could feel different than some women too. So, but that's kind of where it's located generally. But also the thing about it is it really helps for women

to be aroused, to squirt, or to have an internal orgasm or a full body orgasm. So again, the clitoris, thalmagic, that's all the magic happens. So start by stimulating her clitoris. She can have a clitoral orgasm and then go internally. And again, every woman's different. So someone might be like, no, fuck that. I just go inside.

But that's a great way to, like, because when you're more aroused, the blood rushes to internally to the G spot and then you can be easier to locate. Interesting. And I've read and I've heard that G spot orgasms feel different than little orgasms. They seem to be longer and deeper. Have they identified if there really is a difference between the two? People even debate around the G spot too. Yeah.

I think there's a difference. I think that the clitoris orgasm can be more like, more like, I guess it can be more surface level. Like it's more kind of intense. And like a fire like a big spark goes off. Like it's like an internal one can be more full-bodied. Women will tell you it's all different when you hear them explain it.

And there's blended words both. Like that's also where you're just kind tell you, it's all different when you hear them explain it. There's blended words both. That's also where it's kind of like it's like your whole body feels it. Yeah, I think, and also there is no right way to orgasm. There's a holy grail of orgasm. I'm just happy people can figure out their bodies. I think that an internal one can be longer and full-bodied. Yeah. Let's talk about sex toys. What are some good ones that you tend to recommend for women?

I don't men typically don't use sex toys, but- The flesh light is like the toy for men, but there's also prostate toys. You guys, this is the whole other thing that's changed. And that goes in the butt. Yep, that goes in the butt. So it doesn't mean you're gay, but the men have a prostate, and when it is stimulated, it's like the female G spot. Sal's been trying to get me on this for fucking years

and I just confused the other. I should've brought you guys, I wanted it. What brought us to the house? What? What? You should've brought some. I was gonna bring you some, I'm toys, but I didn't go into the office day

as I was looking for my home. Well, maybe we see tomorrow. Shucks. Come to my office day if I come out, bring you guys to it. Okay. So that'd be great for me in those guests. I'll bring some, so there's, what do you say? I think that would be hilarious if you brought. Can you guys say that. So that'd be great for those guests. So there's, oh, what do you say? I think that would be hilarious.

Can it be toys? Yeah. Right. It's like so exciting. Right. We, so toys for, okay. So for men, typically there's the fleshlight. It's like a male masturbation sleeve.

Right. And then there's prostate toys, which I mean. How do those words change? Changing you inserted into the prostate. and there's like kind of like um there's one that are just made so who makes one that I like a Nero's makes one and also A and E this is all my website too I believe a Nero's my store is up right now A and E R O A N E R O S and then there's the black pearl by Vibratex and it's a vibrating toy it doesn't you don't have to be vibration on,

but it just fits the prostate and you use lube and you can insert it and stimulate yourself and go slow. You can even just try having your masterbiting to use your fingers to see if that feels good, but it doesn't mean you're gay. It doesn't mean that it thinks, you know, I mean, I just think for guys, I think it's a good thing to be.

Well, you give yourself a hand job when you masterbiting. That doesn't mean you're gay either. So I'm like, that's so much for men. Like, I think this has been big fan of you. Well, you give yourself a hand job when you masturbate. That is a big idea. They're so much for men. Like, I think this has been another change I've seen. 13 years ago, they're actually, there's a lot of guys I'll ask seeing. They're like, I want to know more about it. The prostate massage and how to do it and how to do it

with my partner. And I think that's amazing. Because for a while, I'm not, no, that's, I said, no, no, but it's like, guys, what if, because to have that simulation and to have, be having sex or have like finger, you know, it can feel amazing. So there's prostate toys from them.

And then for women, God, there's so many. Claryll toys, there's, what do I like? And then that's how couples toys, which are great too. But I love anything by WeVive. They make great toys. They make my favorite one right now is the wish or the touch because they just, they're waterproof, they're rechargeable,

they look like little eggs, like it's not like it's big, scary, dope, guys like, oh no, she's gonna replace me, which I don't know where that came from. Because first of all, it cannot cuddle, toys don't cuddle not yet. Yeah, that's right, yeah, that's right. But for some women, the challenge is they don't get around,

they don't get turned on enough and they just need more claddle stimulation. If you think about typical in and out sex, penetrative sex, nowhere near the clitoris. That's why my problem is porn too. I'm like, there is no way that he just stuck it and she's having a crazy orgasm. Like there was no foreplay. He's nowhere near her clitoris. Like what is going on there?

So I think that for women, you could use these toys during sex too. Women should not be like ashamed to you. Oh my God. That's the way to multiple orgasms. Use a vibrator while having sex. Yes, bring a friend. Yeah, bring a friend too. Bring your friends, bring your toys. You have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to

have your friends too. Bring your friends, like having a three-semph all the time. Like don't be shameful. So I want, I think that there's a lot of women I know who secretly, like, keep their good adora, like, locked in private. And it's like, and I think for guys like, think for guys, I dated many men over the last 13 years who were like, no, and they're like, oh, I get it. Are you bringing your toys?

Are you doing this? It's not every time. It doesn't matter if it is every time, but I'm just saying, it's a fun, different thing to use. And also, a lot of these toys that women use, the literal toys feel great. Fibrations feel amazing for many men on the shaft, on your balls.

It kind of just like kind of soup up any blowjob or handoff. Like I think in a low setting, some of these toys or high setting, the vibrations are like, whoa, next level, amazing. So then there's also anything by Weeva I love, the Nova, the insertion toys, and then for couples, if you've never used toy, I recommend using like a penis ring, like a cock ring, like the pivot also by wee vibrate.

Now why would you use a ring, a cock ring, is that just to maintain a reaction? Or, well so initially when cock rings were invented, I suppose, there's two. The vibrating ones? There's vibrating ones now, but that was to help men maintain directions. Because you restrict blood flow,

and can have you stay harder longer. But now there's these vibrating rings that one size fits all. They literally stretch. You put it on and you can wear it during intercourse. So it feels great to the guy, but it has a vibrator on it. So she's on top of it hits her clitoris and however you move it around. It means amazing. You're like become your body becomes a vibrator. Oh, that might be painful if you never have to. I would try to rely on. You never try to rely on. But they're stretchy and they're, yeah, they're super comfortable. You never try them.

It's not metal. They'll make metal vibrate. They make metal cobrings, but these are like, you've used them. Like, probably like screaming oh, make some that are like, I don't know the brand, but they're, I mean, they're super comfortable and they're, yeah, you turn them on and they have like a little

battery, a little small battery and it's, yeah, those are the ones that I'm screaming oh, make some that are like disposable, waterproof rechargeable. They're like another not rechargeable but they're they're probably like 10 bucks and you can throw away. But then there's the ones that are like a little more. I have to pay the pay for it. I don't know what that is. $80 to $100. But it I should know how much sex goes cost but I get I literally get 20 pounds a little bit to my office a week to try. I have a big staff to try. Yeah, my staff So you go, so this is part of your work. You get to go home and try all these areas of home.

Do you have a married? Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Does he try them out too? Yeah, I have a boyfriend. I'm not married. So you take home the sex toys? Do they send you man ones too?

And so you try them with them too? Oh yeah, I'm like, we have to try this weekend. I'm like, we're trying this, we're trying this. We're trying this. We're trying the cannabis loob. We're trying, oh yeah, my sister will be like, don't forget to try this. This weekend, real, she reminds me. Why aren't we in the sex like podcasting business? Yeah, we're trying, oh yeah, my sister would be like, don't forget to try this, this weekend, real, she reminds me. I've, I've just,

why aren't we in the sex like podcasting business? We're in the business, we got the wrong podcast. We got something to tell you. I feel like you would be a name. I guess I'm a very intimidating woman to date for most guys. I would think that most guys would be scared to death. Well, the opposite, right? Because if someone's really secure, it's probably awesome.

But I guess if a guy's insecure, they're probably like, can we dive into your dating life in your Emily? It's really funny for the first time ever, a podcast that just came out, um, sex with Emily, wherever you guys listen to podcasts, just came out, yes, um, this week, I don't know when this is coming out,

but it's called having sex with Emily. And I actually had the guy I'm that I'm having sex with, then a boyfriend, I got dating, that we've been seeing each other. I'm not like into the boy, I mean, we've been, you're not into labels. No, I'm not.

That's a label man. That's what, to facts man, but he's a comedian and it's really funny and we talked a lot about this. We talked about, yeah, having sex, what it's like,

because I was like, people always ask me are guys intimidated, so were you intimidated? He's like, no, he's really, he's pretty confident, but, and we got into like, how is he whole, like, what's the thing you've learned from me?

He's like, I learned about the Clitoris, and he's like 38 years old. He said sex before, he's had lots of partners, and I think that I, you know, he's like, oh, that's real, like, you gotta slow down. You gotta, I'm like, yeah, wine, wine, and 69 in the Clitoris, so. So I think it was, and he'd never used toys before,

so that's been really fun. And I think we have, yeah, we have good time. Do you, you know, with your experience, do you find there, there's some common mistakes that you see a lot because of the fact that boys don't get a, they see porn, all they see is penetrating like crazy. And do you see that a lot of guys come in and are too rough with the clitoris? So they don't spend like, so talk about that. So you answer your question. Yeah, I was going to say they don't spend, like, talk about that. So, take answers to your question.

Yeah, I was going to say this earlier when you were like, what are the pillar, whichever one know? I'm going to tell every guy to go five times slower than you think, like, all the time, like, even the way you're touching and doing it faster, undressing, or faster, singing it in a faster touching or clitoris, touch, like, literally, like, a butterfly, like, light rainbow, like, rainbow, because obviously, butterflies are rainbow. Butterfly, case of light, touch, everything just goes slower. And so I think that that's a huge thing.

And also when she's like, that feels really good, don't stop, mentally go faster and harder. Cause that's what you guys want. I think you're a bachelor orgasm for many a man. We're less sensitive than you guys are, right? We have less nerve energy. Don't go faster and harder for one. We're like, just keep doing it.

When we say don't stop, we mean like keep doing what you're doing and don't stop. So, if we say that. Not speed up. Don't speed up. Oh, there's so many misconceptions. There's so many, but it makes that happen. I think she's just going ham.

Like every day, there's like just that, like just that, oh my God, that you just, I think the way we talk and think about sex, yeah, that you guys are, I think that women, like, just things a lot slower. Do a lot of guys go down on women or are there a lot of guys that don't? I mean, what do you?

Not in your, yes, I think that, oh, there's so many that don't. And if they tell you they, okay, there's a lot that don't and they absolutely, like, you get all the, why not? Why don't you? Like, I think that maybe that bad experience is around it or they don't know what they're doing.

So they're afraid that they're gonna be like, do it wrong. And I think that if you're not certain, ask your part of what she wants to ever show you what feels good. So I'm not a ghost. I would have ended up with guys who are like, it's not my thing.

I'm like, you're not my thing. I'm out. Peace out. There's some women that don't want men to go down my thing, I'm like, you're not my thing. I'm out, peace out. There's some women that don't want men to go down on them because they're too self-conscious. So let me talk, that's the other side of it. So there are women who are self-conscious. And I hear from just as many men who are like,

my partner will not let me go down, she won't let me go down, her, what do I do? And I think for women, there's actually two things. There are women who really is too sensitive. They don't like it. They don't want it. And typically those women are multi-Orgasmic. So they can have so many orgasms during sex or they can at least have a lot during a

set. So they're kind of like, no, I really don't like it. It hurts. And that, again, that's not every woman. But then there's also women who are ashamed. They're embarrassed about, they don't think that you really want to do it. So what I always tell men is like tell her the best thing you can say to a woman is if you really want to do it and she that's it she's not too sensitive she's just feels that guys don't really like it or she's that say babe I think you're that you're like you look so sexy like you taste so

good I have all night I'm not going anywhere. Like I'm gonna be here, I wanna make you come, I'm like just relax and settle in. Like to me, a woman's like, ah really, he wants to, he's not just doing this obligatory, like lap with his tongue for three minutes. Cause literally if you do it for three minutes,

you could have just made me a snack and come back to the room. Like three minutes is nothing. That's not like a getter wet and stick it in. I think that's what, okay. And some women might want that. They might be like, yeah, that's cool. Do it for a minute or two.

But typically, if you're gonna do it, you gotta settle in at least five, 10 minutes. Like, he's just the three minute thing. It's gonna be like, we're even a minute. So, I think that for women to just tell us, she's beautiful. I mean, everyone looks at me. Volva's different.

Volva is the exterior of the vagina. Some people don't know the difference. The vagina is like the actual the internal part where you stick things in. But I think that yes women are self-conscious. But I think if you couldn't kind of if you're in a relationship with a woman and there's just ways to like you know listen to my show call in and talk to I think there's a lot of couples who you might like thank you we listen together because I'm not saying that talking about sex is easy. Like I get that it's hard. It's even hard for me.

We joke about it on the show with Ben, the guy that I'm the other day, my guy, the other day. It's like, it was not even easy for me. I wasn't like, day one, stop right here. Like, don't you listen to my show and you got to do all these things. Like, it's not easy to talk about. We have never done it. Maybe we're not comfortable. You know, like in your relationship now, right?

Tell you said that you're like, Oh yeah, yeah, I mean, because it was a new relationship, I've been like I said, I've been married for so long, but she was so open and I tend to be that way anyway. And so it was like, it was incredible. Right, yeah, absolutely. It just really just opens up so much from your comfortable.

So yeah, I would say just to do it. Do you think there's a healthy amount of sex that someone should be having in a relationship and an unhealthy amount of sex that you could be having. The unhealthy amount is when like you guys aren't talking about it and like you have resentments and you're like I, which happens, Ms. Mastrobeatas, you want it more than your partner happens all the time. Yeah, what are you doing in a situation like that? Because that's kind of common, right?

Where one person wants more sex and the other person? That happened all that happened That's almost the norm rather than like we both want it three times a week and we're very happy and satisfied What's a good what's a good strategy? I can't answer your question about how many times I'm never gonna say like I will not say to you a number like people ask me Is it once a week is it twice a week? I think each couple you guys get to decide what feels good to you and I would say that once a month probably isn't enough. But I would say that that's the one thing I will say.

Like if you're never having it, you're like, oh no, we're fine, we never have it, we're great, well then your roommates are your best friends, but if you're not having sex, there probably is there's a problem here. Right. And I think it's too much sex. Again, if you guys are having sex three times a day

and you have five jobs, your life's going great, like then to have sex three times a day, if you can find the time, amazing. So I'm not gonna give a number to it. It's really just where you and a relationship are feeling like, oh yeah, we're really good, we're great. But the libido thing is like, relationships are all about compromise.

So if you want every day, your partner wants it once a week You've got to kind of figure out or when they want it once a week is on the weekends Is it Saturday morning is because there's nothing to stress about they don't have to go to the office or is it at night? You know because you don't have to get up or work the next day on a wait You know, I just think that couples have to realize their jam and what what works And make compromises so for some couples, we never see each other because we have different schedules. We'll set the alarm then in the morning before you both get up,

different times and send it earlier once a week. So you know that that's when you're gonna have it or just kind of figure out what works so you're both getting satisfied. But also sex doesn't have to be straightforward. And of course, I think we're very limited the way we think about sex. It's just in and out. It could be mutual intercourse. I think we're very limited the way we think about sex. It's just

in and out. It could be mutual masturbation. It could be massage. It could be a lot of other things that's not just sex. Because a lot of times it's not so much that we're craving sex. We're craving intimacy. So it can be like holding hands, touching massage. And I'm really again, it comes down to figuring out what you both want and learning how to talk about it without blame. And this is just a relationship skill. If you start off with like, you never go down to me, you know, you never give me blow jobs Like how you've been gone down to me since we got married and why doesn't this happen and you never want sex? It's like she didn't hear you pass you Pass the blame like she heard nothing you said except for your anger and she's failing you and Resentments are gonna build but if you can be like you know what I see that we're

not connecting as much and like I want to know what I can do like what what what make it you turn down like what feels good and and for a lot of women I'm gonna be honest they don't some women don't know like they really have never really thought about it or they're really embarrassed to say like oh well when I fantasize I think about these things because I don't know how to tell you so you just have to kind of ease into it too but sometimes you've never talked about it but it comes back to you. I think it starts I mean you said it earlier and echoing what you're saying is the communication piece and I think it even starts with just

communicating before you even communicate about sex right I think that's I think a lot of people just miss that piece and then they hear us saying talking about this, like, oh, yeah, like it's so easy just to sit down with my wife and tell her after two years that she's never given me enough head or some shit like that. Like, you know, maybe start with just the communication piece, right? Just like I love the like, you know, if you're in a relationship for a while, I mean, I think even if you're in a relationship for, yeah, you're like, how do I bring it up now that I've been faking it? Please never figure orgasm for women. And also that I've never been satisfied. But it's like, you can just say,

I was just in this big, great podcast. Or I was thinking about us. I was like, I love the sex we're having. I love you. I love our relationship. But I just thought there's a lot of things we could try and things we could do. And I want to know, like, what turned you on?

Like, what do you like about sex? Like, what's the most memorable sex you ever had? Tell me about the favorite time you've had sex. That's a good place to start too. She might say, we were on vacation that time and the waiter almost walked in, that room service. You're like, okay, so you want to say the most spontaneous, you might get caught,

that's really scary, and we're on vacation. So then you can start arriving, make a sexy bucket list, where you trade down three things that you wanna try and then you swap lists. There's a lot of different ways to get there. I think another big problem with that too, is that sometimes people have fantasies

and they're afraid to communicate them because then they think the other partner will think that they actually want to act them out. And there's a big difference between things you really want to do and things you can fantasize about. And it's that safety, like, you know, let the know that it's totally safe to say whatever. Well, there's two kind of fantasies.

There are the ones that you're like, I would never want this to happen. And then there's ones like, oh, I actually think we'd be really happy to time me up or to give me a blowjob in my office when someone could walk in whatever. But, but I don't know if that's fancy, but it's like, so know those the difference

because your partner doesn't have to know that you're fantasizing about your acts or about some hot girl at the office. Sure. You don't need to know everything or just some crazy things you really don't want to happen. But if there's something like, have you been thinking about watching you masturbate or I've been thinking about you, the threesome fantasy, right? That's the most common thing with another woman.

Would that ever, you know, it's ever turned you on? Like, I'm just thinking that would be really hot. Like, she might say, no, I've never thought about her. You want to fuck my best friend. But they just raise you to be slow and ease into it. But I think, you know, knowing what kind of like, not dumping it all in a partner, but kind of starting slowly and.

Now, on that note, there seems to, it feels like there's this kind of movement or something where open relationships are becoming kind of a bigger thing. I feel like it's a resurgence of the 60s and 70s a little bit. Now, you know, I've read about this. I've had, I've actually known people who've been in open relationships or tried them out. And it seems like each, the people that I know that have gone that route,

it's like towards the tail end of the relationship. Like, relationship isn't working. So let's try this one last thing. And then it typically, I think a bad day. And then it breaks them up. But then I do know some people where it seems to work for them. I don't know. I mean, what is your view on that?

Is that a healthy? Yeah, absolutely. I think it can be really healthy. And I think you're right that right now people are, there's like a resurgence of it. And I think it's also we're talking about it more that we're realizing that maybe monogamy isn't for everybody. Like why is monogamy the only thing that we see we see get married forever

I've sex with one person till death do us part and we know that we all of these itches that need to be scratched sometimes outside the relationship But we think I haven't choose we've made this choice We don't make that choice about anything else in our life, right? Like even if we don't you might have a cheat day right if you're on a dieting you might You don't get a cheat day if you're mon a diet, you might get a cheat day if you're an agonist. I'm like, I gotta go, but you can if you're an open relationship. And so I think that the great thing about open relationships

are that you are, the people I know, in open relationships practice rigorous, you know, in a sense, like I've been in open relationships like rigorous honesty, like you really are honest about everything you communicate, you decide like what's negotiable, what do you wanna know about them having sex with someone else? Is it something that they know?

Is it something they don't know? Is it, you just get to set these rules. And a lot of times people just wanna know they can, or they wanna know that it's available to them as an option and that can help them. And even just talking about the fact that they could be with someone else can kind of refuel that fire.

And they're like, oh, we were gonna open up, but we can't, we are sort of open, we only do it twice a year, or it can look any way you want it, but sometimes you're like, we think that jealousy is like this horrible thing, but I think people in open relationships really handle it, have a way of handling it, that is so unique to people in like immunogamous relationships,

because sometimes they use that either erotically, they're like, oh, it makes me jealous, but actually it turns me on because I know you want to be with me. Or they're like, I'm so jealous. The thought of you being with someone else, but they kind of, I don't know, they just kind of like bring into the relationship like, I don't want you to be with someone else. So let's kind of figure out, I don't know, just these actually, it can be a healthy tools what I'm saying.

They manage it in a different way. And yeah, like I feel like it's not for everybody though. Like it is not for everybody, but I just love it. I'd like it to be for people to understand that it's an option. It's something that can work for people and you don't have to silently separate through monogamy. You might think your partner would freak out about it, but I think that there's a lot of things that we hear about.

It's actually like, oh, I can never have it through some. I can never open it. It would be horrible. It would rip me apart. That's because we don't have all the information like, oh, I can never have it through some. I can never open it. It'd be horrible. It'd be a part. And that's because we don't have all the information or sex toys. It'd be the worst thing ever. And it's like, well, but let's really talk through what that could look like.

Or let's go see it there, but I can help us negotiate this. Or there's some good, great book. I love this book, opening up by Tristan Tirmino. It's a great book about open relationships. And so I think it can work. Yeah. It seems like it can work. It seems like it would be like a small subset of people that can actually make it happen or make it work because I feel like it would be so complicated for the average person with all the

and we don't see any. Well, the other thing is how do you talk about it the holiday? You know, you just like there's no role models for people in happy open relationships. They're just like freaks or swingers or, you know, my friend, Mr. E is like, oh, they're all ponytails. And I was like, I'm like, no, it's okay. What's with your tag? It's so sweet. It's so sweet.

And so I think that I just think that it's changing right now that I would hope that if people are in healthy open relationships, they begin to talk about it and they can bring it into their workplace and bring it into their, or even their families. And just kind of, we have to start somewhere. And I think the fact that we would talk about it is great, because even with children, like, you know, like, well, you could never have kids.

Well, once we had kids be shut it down, I know a lot of people in open relationships that have children. I'm not saying you've tell the kids either. Like, parents don't talk, you don't talk to your kids about your sex life anyway. Why would it? That's true.

You know what I'm saying? So I think there's a lot of options out there. Now, you say those are the pros. Do you see any potential cons in that for people? Like what do you see as a, as we could be bad or dead? Cons are when people, yes, here's when it's cons. If people are using it as a revenge tool or they're like, they use it as like a, they build up resentments like, fine, I'll do this open relationship thing with you.

And then they're like, they don't really want it. Right. And they resent their part or for it. Then it blows apart. So the, the, the people should do it only if they have really, really healthy, healthy communication. And you're just like, okay, you're so we're open this weekend.

We're gonna do it now. It's Wednesday, Friday, and then, no, no, no, no, no. Like you have to like lay the bricks. Really, you can't just like move into that whole new situation. You said you've been in relationships like that before, open relationships. Yeah. How was the first one? Was that your suggestion or was it his?

Yeah, I think I'm more oriented towards that way, but it was kind of both of us. It was, you're dating and I knew that he's a mate. And again, that's the great thing, because I'm friends with most people I've ever dated. And we were very, just kind of open. Like we realized that we just, I'm a workaholic too, so I'm like working all the time.

Like if you don't fit into my life, this isn't gonna work. Like bring your laptop over, we can hang out all you want. That was made of fun, like dating early, early building my company, but I had it work with him. So we just kind of were dating. It was like really fun.

We were really open for them, but I'm dating people who is so am I. I'm like great, but we really like hanging out. So once a week for them. But I'm dating everyone. It's like so am I. I'm like, great. But we really like hanging out. So once a week we saw each other, definitely on the weekends. And then whenever we each had something, it's around for like two years. Whenever we had something like, you know, he ran restaurants.

I get a restaurant opening where I had something he'd come with me. We were like, are each other's person. But we also would just kind of be open about, he didn't want to know much about who I was dating or he didn't want to know anything. He's like, I know who you're dating. You know, I don't want to know unless you who I was dating or he didn't want to know anything. He really, he's like, I know who you are. I don't want to know unless you really like someone tell me if you really like you find something that you want to like you don't want to do this anymore. I need to know, but otherwise I don't want to know. He's super busy.

We didn't see each other. He's like, but I'm like, no, I want to know about them. Like, who are they? But if you like them more than me, like that could be hard. You know, it's like, ego. Like, you find like for women, we just kind of want to, in these situations, I think again, this is another interesting thing that men, my situation isn't as, I mean, I can, there's a lot of different ways it's gone, but what I've found by talking to a lot of couples is

that it's so interesting because for men, they're like thinking that women want multiple orgasms, they want so many partners. That means it's going to go out being a bunch of guys. But for women, we more want like perhaps someone that we feel safe for, that we've had emotional connection with, and that we know, or that it's more familiar, and it's not as random. For guys, I was thinking like, oh cool, I could have this like, card of I'm out, and I meet someone, and it's more casual. And so my point is that women are like, they're kind of like, we don't mind if the guy and they're not speaking for every woman,

but it's more like if we hear that our partner, the guy, this thing, he says, that he has emotions for someone, he's like, I fell in love and she was amazing. And we're gonna go to lunch, and then we're gonna see if I might wanna see with her next week, but we're gonna build up. I might be so jealous.

We freak out, but if you're like, yeah, you just slept with some checks, you used protection, that's great. Women tend to get more jealous of a man. Having a motion. Yes, and women, and men just get jealous of a woman have sex. We would prefer a woman to like a man,

actually like a guy, but not have sex with them. Exactly, and women are like, great. I actually could like a lot of people and have a motion, they may be a see-potham, so it kind of works to see what I mean. Interesting. It can actually really work. And again, not everyone but we're like,

if we know you just went away out of town or you were, it was someone that we don't know and it was like a one off or you're not gonna see it, we're like, we might be fine because we're like, I don't even wanna have as much sex as you do. And so the other way, guys, like that's cool. But you don't wanna have sex with 10 guys this week. It's just one per.

Right. You just want to have tea with him. Go for it. Yeah. So it's been saying is we are ideas of what it is. It's not the reality. Right. And this after like interviewing talking to so many different couples.

It's really different than what we realized. Do you work mostly with individuals or mostly with couples? Everyone. Oh, everyone. Do you have more than the others? Or more women, more men? I don't see clients, patients. It's more like, I, my podcast, I help people and I help everyone in my life. I know, my friends and family, but it's all through.

And I would say that my show is 50% men, 2% women, less women. Little more men, little, my audience, skews a little higher male. Does it really? Yeah. Yeah, it was men don't talk to anyone. You were open to talk about all the questions. Maybe we talked about our friends, our parents, our moms, our sisters, our aunts,

but guys are like, whoa, here's the show that I can damn well talk to me about it. So, yeah. Getting me to playbook, yeah. Absolutely. Any favorite guests you've had that kind of blown your mind when it comes to sex? Or?

That's a good question. I don't know. Who's my favorite guest? It's kind of, um, you know, I really like for men. I really like John Wainland was on my show this year. It's W-I-N-E-L-A-N-D. And he talks a lot about like the masculine feminine energy,

it's kind of like David Dade has worked. I don't know if you guys own David Dade, I'll tell about how men, they're in the, how in was kind of like David Dade's work. I don't know if you guys own David Dade, I'll tell about how men, how in the bedroom, like there's always a masculine energy and a feminine, even in same sex relationships, there's a masculine energy and a feminine energy

and how we sort of play with that sexually in the bedroom. I think it was really, I know I've studied a lot of these different ways of thinking about sex, but I think a lot of my listeners were kind of, that you just sparked the question for me like so there's I'm sure it's common in a lot of relationships there's probably one more masculine and feminine and there's probably someone that kind of controls the room more as far as like the

positions and is more aggressive. What's your thoughts on reversing that role or do you think that's a very important thing that people should do that should I should not always be the dominant one. I should allow to be dominated sometimes. Do you think that's important? I think it's fun. There's no sheds, there's sex. I'm not going to say you should, but if you have an inkling of it, I just like are tick and troll sometimes, which I hear from men a lot.

Why am I always initiating? Can she, it's exhausting? Like, you guys are always like, it's time. Is it ready? I gotta turn around. Can't you just like, I'm like spontaneous acts of oral. I'll like when it comes in, give me a blowjob. You'd be so happy.

So yeah, I think, right? Who doesn't want like a random, random blowjob? But yeah, I think that it can be, again, that stops from getting baby stale, born like to be like, you know, tie him up, blindfold, remember what, so I'll do something a little different. So yeah, I think it's fun to play with those,

with the dominance, the bedroom, but it doesn't have to be the entire time- sex, it can just be how it starts out, maybe ends another way, but I think the way to keep sex interesting and the way to keep you engaged with your partner is to continually mix it up and try different things and play with different energies and play with anything new, like toys, lube, positions, locations, all of this stuff will contribute

to having sex that keeps your interest and keeps it interesting and can actually enhance your bond in all areas of your life and your relationship. Do you see common bad habits that couples make? Yes, never talking about sex. Can I have I driven that home enough? I would say assuming that their partner wants something the same as their last partner, and they never talk about it. That's like in more new relationships,

but people do that all the time. Like, is that my last partner wanted? I'm gonna keep doing it. I think that they fall into the routine, and it's too late. They wait too long to talk about sex, and they think they can't get back. But I'm gonna tell you that it's not true, because there's a lot of you can always, if you

both want it, you can get back to it. I think assuming that they don't change because we change sexually, I think about how you guys think about like how your muscles, like the atrophy, right? Doing the same routine, right? But your workout routine, it's the same thing for sex. Like, why should we think that just because that works to get you off doesn't mean that's the only way it's going to get you off. So I think the mistake is that couples don't think they don't think of SACs as being expensive. They just keep doing it the same way every night over and over again. Because the second you try to mix it up, make it interesting, you're both going to be like excited because there's something new to play with. It's like, let's play with this way of

doing it. Absolutely. This has popped up and I wanted to ask somebody who might have the answer to this. So I've trained thousands of clients, right? I've been in the fitness industry now for about 20 years and I've heard from two separate women that when doing particular core exercises, they feel like they're about to have an orgasm. Yes.

And there's a term for it called coregasm. What is that? Where does that coming from? Where does that come from? That's a great question. I actually used to have an orgasm. And there's a term for it called corgasm. What is that? Where does that coming from? Where does that come from? That's a great question. I actually used to have this thing at the gym that you guys will know, the abductor. Yep, yep.

Good girl background machine. That's the next thing you've learned. Really? Good girl background. That's a good name. I remember I had at the gym, I had the freaking abductor, where you're going, which way was it? You're pushing in or you're pushing out?

Out. Oh my god, I gonna have to be like, can never get on that goddamn machine, what happened? Yeah, they're sitting there, but that one, yeah, it's the core, it's the core, it's a pelvic floor, that's such a, the pelvic floor muscles, especially for women, the kegels.

So it's the best exercise that you're not doing. I actually have an iPhone app called kegel camp, and it's for men and women, and it reminds you to work those muscles, because we don't work them. So the stronger that your pelvic floor muscles are, the stronger orgasms you will have for men and for women. Because those are the muscles that contract, right?

They contract when you're orgasming. So they expand and contract when you're orgasm. So pumping those muscles during sex for women can help them have orgasms and for men, the stronger they are and for women, the stronger your orgasms are. I have a friend, Jordan Harbringer, you'll appreciate this. He did Kaggle Camp with his now wife, like a few years ago, and he called me, he texted

me their screenshots, because there's 20 levels, you can compete on it. You have to get harder and harder over time. I'm gonna do this for sure. And he was like, he's shat me both of them, like on level like, he's like, I'm shooting across the room, like I'm 18 years old. Oh shit. Oh wow. So, you'll appreciate that. He's anat me both of them like I'm like tea. He's like I'm shooting across the room like I'm 18 years old Oh, oh wow, so you'll appreciate that. He's an old friend I was like yeah, so if you're like happy that last Stay harder longer you can have you have long orgasms and jack like you're 18 apparently according to Jordan

I'm ahead of this and so and so for women. Yeah, I know I love this guys are competitive I should oh yeah, that's a thing by the way You can tell me something like that, then. Like volume and distance seems to be like this. Right. You're so breaking right. That's all I tell you out. So, for women, too, if those muscles are stronger, like when I do things like when I'm doing my caggos all the time, that's just attempting to hold to stop the stream of urine or whatever. So it's that when you stop and start the stream of urine, the same thing when you're like,

someone's not going on the door and you go, stop paying. That's the muscles right there. You target them in your pelvic floor and you hold, you can tense and relax for 10 seconds, hold for 10, relax, tense, relax. Or for start out with five, reps of 10 to 20. So you hold, tense, relax. And they build over time.

Like, and I'm telling you, you do them every day for a few weeks and you will realize you'll see a difference. Whoa. Are there herbs or is it speaking of volume? Are there herbs or foods that increase the amount of seminal volume that a man can produce? You know, there's like no conclusive data on them. Like, then, like, what can I eat? Can I taste my, change my sperm? I don't really know the answer to that. Okay. Okay. What about supplements for arousal or herbs for arousal? I mean, I'm familiar from the fitness world.

There's like, for man, there's like, tribulus and, you know, ashruganda can even do that a little bit and other stuff. I don't, I'm just kind of getting more into this world that I take supplements and stuff for myself, but not for this. So I just think overall, the first thing is to be healthy and like the diet.

And it's so true. Like it's like just the healthier the more you exercise and how you're going to want. So you're going to have better sex. You need a more confident. You're going to, everything's going to be running. One thing that I found is because for so long, we've been told the low fat, you know, like you got to eat low fat,

get it low fat. I've had female clients tell me that because I've always always bump up their facts. I know it's an essential macronutrient. And some women, you increase their fat intake because it's connected to hormone production. They tell me their libido goes up and they feel like they have better sex and that kind of stuff. It is so true. I absolutely believe that. That happened. I used to be low fat too. I've always been healthy workout person like my whole life.

And I, you start to remember that,, you just, yeah, I was like, you know, fat. And then when I switched, like, to higher, but yeah, for sure, like, my libido would not, I mean, a lot of the challenge we have on sex is around hormones. And no one talking about, you guys talk about hormones. You know, I know a lot. And it's just like, it's so, then we just to women and, um, pills or, um, birth control pill or any depressants and men too. And that's going to match with your libido. So I think that anything you're taking like that, I'm not saying it doesn't work for a lot of people, but there's probably a lot of things you can do with your diet, with hormones before you go on a pill.

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