Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi - 107. Guilt-free travel: How to plan, save, and spend on amazing vacations

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

Jack and Christina were a perfect example of how not to travel—racking up credit card debt, booking late on a whim, and without emotional buy-in from one partner. In this deep dive episode, I go A to Z on how to plan, save, book, and enjoy vacation experiences the Rich Life way. This episode is brought to you by: Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Ness Well | IWT listeners can get an extra 5K welcome bonus when they apply for the Ness Card at https://nesswell.com/ramit. Methodology | Visit https://gomethodology.com/ramit and use code RAMIT for 10% off your first order of Methodology Connect with Ramit • Get the Podcast Newsletter and exclusive Q&A about the show • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube • Submit a question for the newsletter iwt.com/askramit  If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

If you or your partner has fallen for a scam, I want to help, especially if you've recently fallen for an email or text scam, or you've gotten bad financial advice from someone who did not keep their promises, or maybe you just have not even told your partner because you are embarrassed. If this is you, I want to talk. Apply for free coaching with me by being on my podcast. Apply today at IWT.com slash apply. That's IWT.com slash apply. Let me share some of the coolest ways that my community has recently used money to live a rich life. One member did a month-long honeymoon in Europe after deciding she didn't want a big wedding. Another member bought a VW SUV that was their dream car that they've wanted for years.

And another member made a rule that any time she buys a ticket for an event, she always buys a second so that she can bring a friend. These are just a few examples of how my money coaching members have built systems to use their money. Notice that there's no more anxiety, that they have a smooth running system. They know when their debt's going to be paid off. They can feel comfortable spending on the things they love. They can actually spend less time on their finances while living an amazing life. In my money coaching program, members also get access to live events every month, including topics like money with aging parents and how to create a lot.

amazing vacations. That was one of my favorites where I shared how I spend my money on travel, plus Q&A directly from me. If you want to start building your rich life today, join us and get instant access to our back catalog of years of live calls. Check out IWT.com slash money coaching to join now. That's IWT.com slash money coaching to join the program right now. I've ever wondered how to plan a dream vacation? How much It costs, what type of activities you can do, what type of upgrades you get. I want to talk about it today on today's episode because so many of you have asked about travel. And a lot of the couples that I speak to on this show decide that part of their rich life is spending money on traveling.

So I got a bunch of questions from you on social media. Today I'm going to cover how do I come up with the ideas for where to travel? how do I think about hotels, how many activities do I pack in, what are some of the most magical experiences that I've had, and also, yes, we will talk about money. Let's get into it. First question, when do you start planning and how do you plan for a trip? Okay, for the big ones, these would be things like a honeymoon or in our case we do a big annual trip every year. I would plan about 12 to 15 months ahead. What does that mean?

It means the time block that we want to go. I am going to make sure that we can go, that we block it off in the calendar, that any meetings are rescheduled. And it also means that I'm thinking about things like weather. I'm thinking about things like, do we need to be somewhere else at a certain point? I don't want to leave this stuff up to chance

because a rich life is never ended. an accident. It's never like you trip and fall and suddenly take a magical three-week trip. No, it takes a lot of planning. So I plan ahead. Furthermore, some of this stuff gets booked up. Some stuff already gets booked up over a year ahead. Places like certain safaris, they're already booked up. So I want to be thinking ahead. I don't always book everything 18 months out, but I'm looking, I'm planning. I'm talking to my wife. If we're getting other people involved, we're starting to say, hey, these are the dates we're thinking of. Are you able to make it? Et cetera.

All right. How do I pick the places to go? Well, this is one area of life that I would actually consider myself pretty intuitive. And for me, this is unusual. In most parts of life, I'm pretty linear. I like to write things down. I compare it. But for me, traveling is a lot about what do I feel like?

Do I feel like a beach retreat, a busy city adventure? Do we feel like being outdoors? These are the kind of questions. It's a lot of feeling. Of course, I check with my wife or if we're traveling with friends, we might ask, but it's really about what are we feeling? Often we'll do something that's very contrasty. For example, we were in Japan, very calm, and then we went to India, the opposite of calm. And we kind of love that contradiction. Sometimes we'll do super luxurious and then we'll do very gritty. We love that conversation. We love that conversation. We love that combination as well. So that's how I start thinking about it. And from a geographic perspective,

I know nothing about geography. So I write down all these different places and then I plot it on a map and I'm like, oh, that's over there. I had no idea. So that also helps narrow down where we decide to go. Just guess the average wait time to see a doctor in the United States. I'm not talking about a specialist, just a regular standard family doctor. You think it's a week, two weeks? Nope. It's over 30 days. So a lot of times, whatever symptoms you have are going to be gone or maybe worse by the time you get to that appointment. I don't want you to have to wait weeks to see a doctor.

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Next question. Do you use a travel agent? Yes, always. I know this seems like something people used to use in the 80s. Nowadays, they're called travel agents or travel advisors. And I use a travel advisor in two different ways. Sometimes it's big blue sky. I'll call them up. I'll say, we're thinking of taking a six-week trip. This is kind of the style we want to do. We want adventure. We want to end on calm, etc. Maybe we're bringing family of different ages. Here's some ideas I have in mind. Can you come back to us with some options? And they will help us sketch it out. This is the type of full featured firm that we used for our honeymoon, which was in multiple different countries and continents over six weeks. That needed a lot of logistical support. On the other hand, sometimes I know exactly where we want to

go. We want to go to this place on these dates and we want to stay at this hotel. Can you arrange it for us. So we have a different travel advisor that we'll use in a much more surgical fashion. Why do I use a travel advisor? First, they handle a lot of the logistics like booking hotels, things like that. Second, you get perks. So they'll upgrade you. Your room will automatically get upgraded. On a recent vacation I took, our travel advisor managed to get us triple upgraded, which was amazing. The room would have been way more expensive if we had paid for it out of pocket. we only paid for the base rate. You'll also get things like free breakfast,

which is handy when you're traveling, sometimes free airport transfer, et cetera. So yeah, we use a travel advisor and I'm a big fan of them. How do you ball out on a budget? Well, I don't know about the budget part. For that, I would recommend checking out my friend Chris Hutchins podcast, all the hacks.

He does an awesome job talking about traveling, miles, etc. Chris is awesome. He knows all about that. but I will tell you how to spend a lot of money to create a dream trip. And I've done this in a few different ways. Some of it was, you know, our honeymoon. Some of it was recently I had my 40th birthday and my dream was to bring a bunch of friends and family to a resort.

I planned everything. I said, all you have to do is just show up and everything was taken care of. I covered it all. That was my dream to bring my loved ones together and spend a bunch of time just hanging out, doing a cooking class, et cetera. I got a question from somebody in our money coaching group. If you're interested in that, you can join at IWT.com slash money coaching. And they said, I want to spend a little bit more.

I want to take this dream trip. What should I do? And I think the extent to which they had thought about it was something like, I want to upgrade our flights. Okay, that's great. You can arrive there, being refreshed, et cetera. but it felt like they were thinking a bit small. So I wanted to encourage them and I said,

can I tell you what I would do if I had your amount to spend? They were like, yeah. So I said, okay, this is what I would do. These are trips that I've taken before. I would arrange to have a car waiting at the airport. No looking for a taxi. Somebody's there with a sign. They take our bags.

We're in air condition. They've got little hand towels. You're just comfortable. You're going, wow, this is totally different than how I normally get to the hotel. Of course, the hotel would be an amazing hotel, depending on what you like and maybe you upgraded it, used a travel advisor, et cetera. When we arrive at the hotel,

I would know, let's say we're traveling with family, I would know that one of my family members really loves massages. And I would already arrange for a massage to be waiting for them. So as soon as they got there, I would say mom or dad or whoever it may be, I would say, you know what, they're going to take your bags. Why don't you go to the room, get cleaned up? we've got a masseuse waiting whenever you're ready

they'll be waiting for you at the door and they'll take you there. That's how you start to spend money to create amazing meaning. Okay, a few more things that I would do on a trip like this with loved ones, et cetera. I would schedule a food tour for the next day. So we're in this beautiful resort.

Cool, that's great. We can eat there too. But I want to get out in the city. I want to see the local places. So we would have scheduled a food tour. They'll take us to the market. We'll find all this stuff we normally would never eat ourselves. Oh, it would be amazing.

What else? The next day, we would do a cooking class at the hotel. The chef would come out. They teach us a few things, but mostly they do the work for you. So it's pretty easy. And then you get to enjoy the food and some drinks. Awesome. I would plan one day of doing nothing at all. Absolutely nothing. If people want to go out into the city or they want to go out on a boat, they can do it. But it would just be downtime. Being able to engineer leisure time is one of the the best luxuries you can possibly do, especially when it is with your loved ones. One other thing I would do, I would arrange a special dinner one night. It would be outside, beautifully lit, candles and everything. And I would let people know ahead of time, we're going to go around the table and we're going to say one thing that we have really appreciated about this trip. Okay, that's it. And with the chefs or the culinary team, I would coordinate with them and I would say,

hey, you know, my mom grew up in this area. can we cook a special dish from that area? My dad loves this. Can we make sure that we have this type of dessert? A lot of these places love those type of requests. They want to make something special. So you're there. You've got the candles.

You've got the beach. Everyone's going around saying something. They appreciate people are crying. And then the dishes come out and you say, you know, mom, I wanted to say, we love you so much and we appreciate you. We know you grew up here. And this dish is really a reminder.

of where you came from, which made all of us possible. Okay. That is how I would create an amazing experience. And if you think about it, all the purposes of accumulating money and saving it and investing it, to me, this is one of the highest and best uses of your money in living a rich life. Why is it that people who tell me I'm stupid on social media always have the profile picture of a jar of mustard?

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It's about getting ahead. It's interesting when you can afford to buy lots of different things, what you actually choose to spend your. your money on. For example, I've tried these different shampoos. At a certain point, I was just like, most of these are all the same. I'm just getting the one from the drugstore. I was talking to a friend about what type of meat we buy. He was shocked that we didn't buy the most expensive meat. And I think the lesson that I have taken as I have made more money is just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's right for me. That's why the mattress that I chose to sleep on every single night is from Lisa.

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How do you discover off-the-beaten-path experiences? Okay, so first of all, let me just say, there's nothing wrong with on the beaten path experiences. I think a lot of us have this idea that I want to live like the locals. And then I'm just like, in your own hometown, how often do you sit and just converse with tourists? Not that often. I'm in New York. I live in L.A.

It's not like a bunch of tourists just come up to us whenever we're out and just start talking and we spend four hours with them. So there's nothing wrong with on the beaten path experiences. A lot of times they're actually pretty cool. But with that said, I will tell you how I do some of the unusual experiences. experiences that, you know, we do when we travel. One is I just keep a bookmark per country. So anything that looks interesting in Italy, for example, I have it bookmarked under Italy. So next time we go to Italy, I have, let's see, a special stationary maker. I have a behind the scenes tour of a shoemaker. I have all these things that I want to do in Italy. And they're all in different

parts of Italy. All right. So that's number one. I just start keeping a list. Number two, I read the travel sites and the magazines. So everything from travel and leisure to Rob Report to flyer talk, all of them. And I'm just constantly, you know, for me, it's fun and I'm reading it and then I'm bookmarking anything that looks interesting. Third, if I know people from those countries, I will ask them, what is an unforgettable experience that we should make sure that we do? And a lot of times, if I have friends who have traveled and have similar travel styles, I'll ask them and they'll share a lot of stuff too. Finally, this is where I want to encourage you to get really creative. Airbnb experiences actually has amazing places you can check out in different countries.

But I'll post something about how we went to, in Kyoto, we went to a stationary maker who's been doing it for generations. And I got like a million people. Where did you find this? And I'm like, part of the fun is actually getting creative. and it's really thinking if I could see anything, what would it be? And then figuring out how to do it. It makes travel so much less passive and so much more interesting. So if you love fashion, could you do a behind the scenes fashion tour in Milan? Or might you hire a student at one of their fashion schools to take you shopping? That'll be cool.

Again, whatever it is for you, I like the idea of getting creative and making it personal for what you want to experience. What is your philosophy on hotels? People in our family say, let's get a cheap one since we're only sleeping there. Well, I love hotels. For me, they're a part of my rich life. I will say that my philosophy is

we typically save a little bit of money on city hotels, but we splurge on beach resorts. You know, city you typically are out a little bit more, and they're usually not as good as beach resorts. But I personally love hotels for reasons that I wasn't aware of when I was younger. For me, I love hospitality. I love customer service. Hotels are the Olympics of customer service and hospitality. The design has to be instantly welcoming. The staff is highly trained. The services they offer are always thinking ahead of what you need. In fact, even some of the

stuff in the room can be quite detailed. And I just love the idea of being taken care of. So, for me, those are some of the reasons I love beautiful, nice hotels. And when I look back, I think that they really inspire me. So when I come back, I go, wow, that was beautiful. The customer service was amazing. It inspires me in a personal level and certainly for my business as well. How do you balance making dinner reservations and setting plans versus open times or playing it by ear?

When we first started traveling, we planned things like way, way, way too much. and we had a little bit of a disagreement. And finally, we were like, okay, we got to not pack it in as much. Our purpose here is not to pack in as much as possible. It is to have an amazing, unforgettable experience. And this kind of really takes some thinking. Because the way we were raised, when I was a kid, if we went to Disneyland, we got there when it opened and we stayed until the very end because we were going to pack it all in.

We're going to scrape all the meat off the bone. And I remember a friend of mine told me this thing. He said, if you ever go to a museum, you spend a 90 minutes max and the first 30 minutes are in the cafe. And I was like, what are you talking about? When I was a kid, we never went to a museum. And when we did, we'd be there all day. By the end, we were all crying.

We wanted to get out. And he said, no, that's not the point. You can always come back. That was so life-changing for me. it taught me about the abundance of knowing I don't have to see everything, just what feels good right now. And I can always come back. So our new rule, my wife and I then adapted it from packing up the schedule to saying we want to do one big activity per day. Now we do one big planned activity every two days. That's what we do. And beyond that, we have a list of things. They're all

bookmarked in Google Maps. Most of the time we're out, we're doing stuff because we're feeling good. But sometimes we're like, you know what, we don't feel it. Let's just hang out. Let's go back to that place we went to yesterday. We loved it so much. Or let's just hang by the pool. On a two-week trip in terms of dinner, we might do one upscale dinner reservation, probably do two other, I would say, mid-level, and then we play it by ear.

We like eating, but we don't necessarily love super fancy food. But that took us trying all these different places for us to realize that. It's about a cadence in terms of planning. But I would also say even having this conversation by yourself or with a partner lets you hone in on what is important to you. I'm not a huge fan of taking a trip, going to a country, and when you land trying to figure it all out. I know that some people love that.

It's super spontaneous. I think there are some things lost with my approach. But if I'm going there, I want to have a magical experience. And I don't get a magical experience by just randomly wandering around with nothing planned. I do want to have some stuff in a map. So if I'm wandering by it, I'm like, oh, cool. Like, I got to check this out. I read about this.

And there's room for wandering, but I don't want to do that for my entire trip. Here's some of the most creative I will teach you to be rich businesses that my students have created. Nate turned his love of chess into a chess coaching and training business and started a legal strategy business for online entrepreneurs and creatives. Scott teaches yoga all over the world, including in the south of France. Now, what I love about all these, they're so different, but they started from the same question. What if I took the thing I love and turned it into a business? One of the things that entrepreneurs learn is how to keep it simple.

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I'm not a member of Facet and I have an incentive to endorse Facet as I have an ongoing fee-based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are my own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome. How much money should you put away for vacation? Well, this falls under guilt-free spending. So you tell me, if 20 to 35% of your take-home pay is for guilt-free spending, And if traveling is really important to you, maybe you're spending, I don't know, 15% of take home on travel, that's a lot. And if it's one trip, that's a huge trip.

If it's two trips or four trips, you know, you can do the math. In our CSP, travel is wildly overrepresented, wildly. But that's because we also don't have a car payment. And we don't have an expensive 1% AUM financial advisor that we're paying. or some really expensive mortgage with all these phantom costs. So we take some of the money that we would ordinarily be putting towards those things or credit card debt, and we put it towards what's important to us, which is travel. What's been your favorite stay so far?

Well, I've had a lot of magical trips. One of the most memorable was definitely our honeymoon. My wife and I were inspired by some older couples who basically told us they had taken these really long honeymoons. And we were like, who the hell takes a honeymoon that long? And then we were like, wait, what if we do that? And so we created a six-week honeymoon. We started in Italy. We went then to Kenya on safari, then India, and we finished in Thailand.

And it took a lot of planning. So we used a full-featured travel advisory firm. We also invited our parents to Italy because we wanted to bring them with us. and we love them. They're mobile. They're healthy. They like each other. Italy's also kind of a nice, safe entryway for everybody.

So we brought them with us. And that was magical. You know, to be able to take my mother-in-law to the Vatican and to be able to do a food tour with a chef in the farmer's market and then make all this food. It was awesome. After we had our time with our parents, they left. We continued on in Italy. We saw some amazing things.

We saw some fashion stuff, design stuff. we went on safari and that was also amazing. We went to three different camps and we just experienced so much. Of course we saw amazing animals. We started waking up really early. We stayed at a very warm family oriented place. We stayed at an ultra luxury place. We did all kinds of stuff. Then in India, I've never really traveled like that. I have family in India. So when I go there, I stay with them. But this time, we didn't tell anybody we were coming because I knew if we told them, We were going to go get wrapped up and seeing all of our family. I said, this is our honeymoon?

This is the one time? We're not telling anybody. And instead, we stayed at the most amazing hotels in the world. In fact, my favorite hotel, Udaivilas is in Udaipur. It's incredible. We saw Taj Mahal, and I saw it in a different way than I had ever seen it before. Incredible, seeing it with my family. Incredible seeing it with my wife for the first time.

Seeing Golden Temple, going behind the scenes, doing tours that I'd never done in India and finishing off in a beautiful resort in Thailand. So that was a beautiful trip. And I think one of my favorite memories, gosh, I have two favorite memories of that trip. Both of them from Thailand. One of them was, I was just incredibly happy. And I was doing some journaling. And I realized, yes, I'm on my honeymoon.

Of course, that's why I'm incredibly happy. Yes, we're eating the best food and we're with each other. but I was also happy because I had set a vision many, many years ago in my 20s. Before I even met my wife, I knew that one day I wanted to go on an incredibly amazing honeymoon without regard to cost. I did not want cost to be the first or second or even third thing that I had to consider. So I started saving and investing money way back then. And to be able to be in these places without worrying about

how much it cost to order a drink. To me, it felt like an incredible accomplishment. And I was really proud of the work that I had done, that my team has done to help so many people with their money, which in turn has helped my team and has helped me and helped me create this experience for my wife and me. So that was amazing. And then my second and even more favorite memory

was just a day later, my wife and I were reflecting on the trip, you know, what did we love, what will we change. And she said something I'll never forget. She said, at the end of a trip like this, normally I would be sad, but I know that we can come back whenever we want. Think about the abundance of that answer. It's amazing. To have a partner that thinks in the same level of abundance as you do to be aligned is incredible. And guess what? Almost every single year after that, we did take a huge amazing trip. The only thing that derailed us was COVID, but we didn't mind. So we stuck with it.

We love travel. It's become part of our rich life. And it feels incredible to be aligned with my wife Cass. What if I have debt? How do I balance debt payoff with savings for enjoying a vacation? Now, this is a good question. All right. First off, I don't believe that you should wait to live a rich life until some distant day in the future. I believe you should live a rich life today and a richer life tomorrow. At the same time, you can't be doing whatever you want and then just rationalizing it by saying, this is my rich life. No, there are some tough decisions to be made, particularly if you have high interest debt, like a credit card debt. Now, I'm going to actually be talking more about money and travel because I've noticed some peculiar things that people do

when it comes to planning for their vacations. I'm going to talk about it this Saturday on the podcast newsletter. It only comes out once. So if you are not signed up right now, you will never see this piece again. Make sure you are signed up at IWT.com slash podcast newsletter. Sign up right now and I will send you that article that I wrote on Saturday. Thanks for listening. Send me a little note. Tell me what you think about this episode. And send me any other questions you've got about travel, money, vacations, and the rich life. I'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for listening to I Will Teach You to Be Rich. I'm Rameet Sati. Please follow the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven't read I Will Teach You to Be Rich, my book, pick up a copy. You can get it at any bookstore or any library, and it will show you this specific tactics for how to build the I Will Teach You to Be Rich system into your personal finances.