Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi - 60. “My health is in question, but I don’t want to stop making money” (Part 1)

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

Today’s conversation will shock you—point blank. Tom and Julie are in their early fifties and have two school-aged kids. Both are savvy with their investments, and they’ve amassed a $12 million ...dollar net worth in the process. But Julie’s still working. She thinks of the income as an added layer of safety and security in their lives—but at their level of wealth, they’re making more in interest than her salary could ever bring in.  Their situation may sound like it’s black and white—but wait for the jaw-dropping moment that changes everything. And look for next week’s episode, part two, as Tom and Julie start to reckon with their true reality. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If you or your partner has fallen for a scam, I want to help, especially if you've recently fallen for an email or text scam, or you've gotten bad financial advice from someone who did not keep their promises, or maybe you just have not even told your partner because you are embarrassed. If this is you, I want to talk. Apply for free coaching with me by being on my podcast. Apply today at IWT.com slash apply. That's IWT.com slash apply. Let me share some of the coolest ways that my community has recently used money to live a rich life. One member did a month-long honeymoon in Europe after deciding she didn't want a big wedding. Another member bought a VW SUV that was their dream car that they've wanted for years.
Starting point is 00:00:48 And another member made a rule that any time she buys a ticket for an event, she always buys a second so that she can bring a friend. These are just a few examples of how my money coaching members have built systems to use their money. Notice that there's no more anxiety, that they have a smooth running system. They know when their debt's going to be paid off. They can feel comfortable spending on the things they love. They can actually spend less time on their finances while living an amazing life. In my money coaching program, members also get access to live events every month, including topics like money with aging parents and how to create
Starting point is 00:01:26 amazing vacations. That was one of my favorites where I shared how I spend my money on travel, plus Q&A directly from me. If you want to start building your rich life today, join us and get instant access to our back catalog of years of live calls. Check out IWT.com slash money coaching to join now. That's Iwt.com slash money coaching to join the program right now. I like to go out to eat, so I'll say, hey, Julie, should we go out to dinner and she'll often reply, can we afford it? But I'm joking. But you're really not joking.
Starting point is 00:02:06 That's the part that kind of like worries me. And Julie, what is your net worth? If you include our primary residence, it's in the ballpark of $12 million. $12 million. How would you describe yourself socioeconomically? Upper middle class. Take out the upper upper. part and you're right. Oh boy. Another couple worth over $10 million who cannot admit that they are
Starting point is 00:02:37 wealthy. And in a rich life, as I always say, you have to be honest, honest with yourself, honest with the people around you. If you cannot be honest with yourself that you are wealthy, it causes all kinds of peculiar challenges. Today you're going to hear that from Tom and Julie. They're in their early 50s. They have two children, and as you just heard, they have a net worth of about $12 million. Julie is wondering if she should quit her job to spend more time with her family, but she likes the income from her job. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that today's episode will shock you. That's why I want you to listen to the entire thing.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Julie thinks of money in terms of safety and security. but how much is enough? And what happens when you have to make tough decisions relating to your money and your life? Welcome to I Will Teach You to Be Rich. Julie, when you think about money, what words come to mind for you? Oh, like protection is a word that comes to mind and safety and security. My view of money is you never want to run out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Okay. And can you think of a time? where you behaved out of sync with how much money you actually had. After I finished my second master's degree, I went to Southeast Asia for 10 weeks. And I didn't have any money to speak of. I had no cushion. It was on maybe $35 a day or something very conservative or very, very frugal.
Starting point is 00:04:29 But I chose to have that experience versus going right to work. Did you catch that? Did you catch how she interpreted my question? My question was, can you think of a time where you behaved out of sync with the money you actually had? Kind of getting at, can you think of an example where you had a lot of money but you behaved like you didn't? That's the obvious thing that's going on here.
Starting point is 00:04:57 She's got $12 million, and she's agonizing over potentially quitting her job. But her answer was to share proudly a time where she was extremely frugal. I find her interpretation of my question to be fascinating. What about more recently in the last 10 years? Can you think of an example? Now you're laughing. Okay. I can't wait to hear this.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Where you acted out of sync with your financial status. And did something really decadent you mean? No, that's not what I mean. I mean that here's your financial status. I'm holding one hand up. And the way you behaved did not match your financial status. I shop at Target a lot because they have the drive-up thing. And they have these little rewards.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Like if you buy, if you spend $50 three times in this amount of time, you get a $20 gift. card and I'll always try and plan my spending so I get those rewards and Tom feels like Tom is just laughing at me. You mean like why you shouldn't waste your time on $20. Some of the things that Julie will do is wait for coupons to come before she will buy something or hope the coupons come in the mail. Julie, you're cutting coupons still. What, for what? I love this store called Bowden, which is just like middle-aged women's clothes with a lot of prints. They're from England.
Starting point is 00:06:35 It's all super cute. And but but I will wait till like they send me a $10 off or $25. $10? And then it'll be like my excuse to buy something. Oh my God. Okay. All right. Okay. Thank you, Tom.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Tom's got to, hold on. Tom's about to pull out a long papyrus scroll of all the stories. been waiting to share. Go ahead, Tom. What else you got? Yeah, I'm not going to get through all of them, but just as another example, it will be like, I will often, I like to go out to eat, so I'll say, hey, Julie, should we go out to dinner? And she'll often reply, can we afford it? But I'm joking. But you're really not joking. That's the part that kind of like worries me. And Julie, out of curiosity, what is your net worth? If you include our primary residence, it's in the ballpark of $12 million.
Starting point is 00:07:36 $12 million. Yeah. But it feels so satisfying and so concrete to save 20. Okay. Have you ever said that number out loud? No, it makes me really uncomfortable. How would you describe yourself socioeconomically? Upper middle class.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Take out the upper part and you're right in terms of how... Take it all out. You're not upper middle class, okay? Now, tell me why did you say that, though, before we talk about what you really are? That's what I feel like reflects our value and our lifestyles. We only have one residence. We only have one house. We send our kids to public school right now.
Starting point is 00:08:27 I just feel like we don't do a lot of things that rich people do. And what do rich people do in this metaphor? The first thing that comes to mind for me is boarding schools, multiple homes, private jets, club memberships, elaborate clothes. That's how, that is my stereo. type of what people who are truly rich. This idea of rich has a lot of roots in our richy rich version of wealth, sitting on long tables, eating food that's served under those big silver things,
Starting point is 00:09:11 being chauffeered around, only living in dark wood-paneled houses. My goal is to show you that your rich life is yours. That's everything that I do in my business, my book, this podcast, my programs. I want to show you that your rich life can be traveling six months a year. It can be tipping 50%. It can be camping one week every quarter. Your rich life is yours. But we also need to be honest.
Starting point is 00:09:42 At $12 million, you are not middle class. You're not upper middle class. You are wealthy, plain and simple. And if you don't admit that, you're doing a disservice to yourself and to the people around you. It's not a virtue to live a smaller life than you have to. So my challenge to you is to define your rich life in extremely vivid details. And the more you define it, the more different it should become from anyone else around you. In fact, the more bewildering it should actually become.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Now, as for Tom and Julie, we skip over how they amassed their huge wealth. she basically calls it boring tactics at one point. That's the best way to do it. They lived under their means. They saved and accumulated money, the classic I Will Teach You Be Rich Way. They invested consistently every single month and they grew their wealth to millions and millions of dollars. In fact, it was around eight or so million dollars that they accumulated. And recently they received a three million dollar inheritance. But remember, they only received that after they were already multi-millionaires. So I want to share all that with you to let you know that the I will teach you be rich method works. It takes time, but it is sustainable. And it allows you to accumulate
Starting point is 00:11:04 a large amount of wealth. But that's not the end. The real challenge is what do you do with your money and how do you use it to create a rich life? Where did this idea of protection and safety when it comes to money come from. My mom grew up in a situation where she didn't have, it was just her and my grandmother and her little brother and things were quite rough for them. And they didn't, they were literally living hand to mouth and one of my mom's aunt's addicts. And I think it, like had my my aunt not taking them in, they would have been homeless. I remember a lot of stories about, well, I couldn't have this or all the girls at school had. I'm just making this particular example up, but fancy white gloves to wear to the dances, but we, we couldn't afford them. And I remember it
Starting point is 00:12:10 seem like stories of scarcity or of not being good enough in ways that manifested themselves it through not having things. And I feel like money was tied to that in addition. And my mom didn't talk much about like those early rough, rough years. But I do feel like there was an amount of wistfulness tied to money about, I wish I could have been like the other people or it being like a gap. It was a pretty dire situation. And so I think because of that and my mom's, my mom's early experience with money,
Starting point is 00:12:58 she has inculcated into my sibling and I that you always want to be prepared for whatever eventuality. And that was her lived experience. So that really made sense for her. Why do you think she didn't talk about those tough times? I still don't know the full story. I never will because she's passed away. But I think she didn't because it's something that she was,
Starting point is 00:13:27 I think they really troubled her. And it's just something that she would rather. I don't think she wanted to burn it. us with it. Like I remember I gave her this, this book about, it was for a grandmother to fill out for their grandkids. And it was a way to get, for them to get to know you. And my mom was like, I just can't do this. It's, it's pain, it's too painful. And I don't want, a lot of it was about her background and what things were like when she was growing up. Wow. So, so, so I think that that weighed heavily on her. What a story.
Starting point is 00:14:08 What effect do you think it has on Julie to have grown up seeing what she saw? To have recognized that her mom would have almost been homeless, if not for the help of her family. And notice that Julie, decades later, still carries those messages with her. Safety, security, will I have enough? And think about it. As she says those things out loud, half jokingly, you think her daughters pick up on that? I do. I think that's exactly why whenever I speak to people who have some sort of affliction with money,
Starting point is 00:14:52 about 80 to 85% of the time, there is something distinctly vivid in their childhood that they are now living. And when they're living it today, they're also passing it on to the next generation. I want Julie to understand the roots of where her beliefs about money come from. That's not going to change it, but it is the first step to acknowledging it and then deciding if she wants to make a change. Just guess the average wait time to see a doctor in the United States. I'm not talking about a specialist, just a regular standard family doctor.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Do you think it's a week, two weeks? Nope, it's over 30 days. So a lot of times, whatever symptoms you have are going to be gone or maybe worse by the time you get to that appointment. I don't want you to have to wait weeks to see a doctor. I want you to get seen faster by an in-network doctor using Zoc Doc. Zocdog is a free app and website that helps you find and book high-quality in-network doctors so you can find someone you love. They have over 150,000 doctors across all 50 states in 200-plus specialties, including mental health, dental, primary care, whatever you need. Just filter for doctors based on
Starting point is 00:16:08 insurance, location, ratings, even virtual care options, and Zoc Doc appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours. You can look through your options, book an appointment, and you are done. If I needed to find a new doctor today, Zoc Doc is what I would use. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash Ramith to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Z-O-C-D-C-com slash remit to find.com. Ramit. Zocdoch.com slash remit. And I want to thank Zokdoch for sponsoring this message. There's a pretty cool TikTok trend going around right now that I really love. It's called admin nights. Basically, you get your friends together, you get some snacks, maybe some drinks,
Starting point is 00:16:54 and you do all the infrastructure stuff in life that most of us skip over. If you're going to set up an admin night, here's my suggestion for you. Use Zocdoc to book your health appointments and you will be done fast. ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. They have over 150,000 doctors across all 50 states in 200 plus specialties, including mental health, dental, primary care, whatever you need. Just filter for doctors based on insurance, location, ratings, even virtual care options. And Zoc Doc appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72.
Starting point is 00:17:36 hours. You can look through your options, book an appointment, and you are done. If I needed to find a new doctor today, Zock-D-D-O-C-D-C-O-C-com is what I would use. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zoc-D-C-com slash Rameet to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C-com slash Rameh. And I want to thank Zok-D-D-K-T for sponsoring this message. So coming from a family where your mom was nearly homeless, to you having a joint net worth of $12 million, what does that feel like? I feel proud of us that we have built these assets by investing over time and largely by doing these very boring tactical things. And I've always looked at it. this way. But like anything that you spend, there's the opportunity cost of what you could have
Starting point is 00:18:45 gotten if you don't buy that latte when you're young because. So, okay, I mean, there's some truth to that. You could take that $1,000 at per se or $5 at a coffee shop and you could invest it or you could spend it on something else. That is true. In your mind, Julie, is that a philosophy you live with for the rest of your life, the opportunity cost philosophy? Intellectually, I realized that that philosophy that helped us build, establish the financial situation we have today,
Starting point is 00:19:25 I realize that philosophy is no longer working for me, but what is hard is to change my behavior, Like I do little changes, which is the beginning of an evolution. But that's how you evolve, right, through little changes. But I feel that there, I feel like I need to make, I need bigger change. I need, there's an opportunity for me to make bigger changes. I think part of me feels somewhat, like I know, not all. all my friends have this, this amount of assets.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Even people who do more trips or have other things that you might associate with assets. So I'm a little embarrassed of it that way. And then I think there's also this other frame of reference of, well, but there's people who get paid that in a year who I like I know I used to work with it like I used to go to school with them and so I think there's this other frame of reference and that that leads to this feeling of and and this seems illogical but like oh whoever has the most when they die wins and I know that is not true I know it's not a game and it's And when you expire, it is game over. But I still somehow constantly find myself, say, telling myself, that is not the right model to be working with. It sounds like this intertension of what you tell yourself logically versus what you feel about money. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:39 I would say that is very accurate. I feel like there's some cognitive dissonance with that and just trying to create a plan forward for us because of those two different poles. What if we just didn't even need a plan at all? Well, I like a plan. Of course you like a plan. That's what you want from today's call, right?
Starting point is 00:22:08 A plan. I guess what I'm looking for from today's call would be a different perspective because we, Tom and I will often joke, what would Rameit say? So just now we get to hear another perspective that I feel like is the voice of a reason in some ways. I think you two are very reasonable on your own. you did a great job accumulating a lot of wealth. But maybe my voice can be something totally different today. Maybe we don't need reason. They don't need a voice of reason. They need a voice of intuition. They need somebody to just help them have some fun. In many ways, I see so much
Starting point is 00:22:59 of myself in the way that Julie processes these things. She loves logic. She loves control. She loves to have it in the spreadsheet. And I totally get that. In fact, those things can be adaptive. They can be helpful. Obviously, she and Tom have been very successful following this methodology. It's made them multi-millionaires. But the problem is, as we've heard, too much of anything is bad.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Everybody nods, oh, yeah, yeah, everything in balance, everything in moderation. But when it comes to their own lives, they totally disregard it. I think it's possible Julie is too logical. And that's what I want to find out now. Where in your life are you intuitive? Where do you go with your feelings? I'm not sure I understand what you mean by that. Okay, that's a big tell right there.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Okay, let me try to explain. I know that you're intellectual with your finances. I know that you are intellectual with your planning, even deciding when to go shopping at that store with the coupons. But is there a part of your life where you operate on instance? or feelings where you don't intellectualize it. No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Kids? I'm pretty, I'm pretty, like, we do piano lessons and we don't do piano lessons because I want them to be great musicians. We do piano lessons because I believe it teaches them these skills. Okay. Great. So you have a plan. I totally get it.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Food? I tend to view that as more functional. Functional. Okay. Totally fine. I get it. Tom, is there anything where you would say Julie operates on instinct or emotion, not on intellect? I don't. That's a really tough question to answer. I think she's been pretty accurate and she is pretty intellectual about all that stuff. I mean, for me, I have so many answers to that question that I could give because that's a part of me. But it's
Starting point is 00:25:22 I don't see it as much with Julie for sure. I mean, obviously, I would have hoped she would have said, oh, yeah, when I think about the first time I met Tom, that was one of my answers that I could give, but that didn't come up. You guys are great. You know what? There's nothing wrong with that, Julie.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Not at all. What I appreciate is that you're just being honest. You're like, hey, even for my kids, this is why I have them in piano. This is why I eat what I eat. I don't mind it at all. I'm just trying to understand your worldview, how you view certain things.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Let's talk about a few other things, just so I get a sense of how you spend your money. You shop at Target. Where do you go out to eat? What type of place? Super casual. Like? Which I think, oh gosh,
Starting point is 00:26:17 a place called the Sunshine Fair. factory, which is... Is it like an American restaurant? Like, how much do you think's cost at this place? 15 or 20 bucks for an entree. Okay. Fine. And would you ever go out for like a special dinner or anniversary type thing?
Starting point is 00:26:40 What would you do for that? I would say that Tom was very reluctant to getting a babysitter. Or about getting a babysitter. Tom, was that because you didn't want to be away from the baby or was it a cost issue? What was it? I'd like to say it was the first, but it's more accurately the latter. It was a cost issue? Yeah. How many years ago was this? Oh, this is probably eight or nine years ago. So a babysitter there costs how much? Like 15 bucks an hour.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Okay. Is that expensive for the two of you? a lot of silence on this call suddenly. Boy, everybody got very quiet. I think we both have similar personalities as far as like always saving money as much as we possibly could and being frugal about things. And I feel like I've come a long way in that. And I feel like Julie maybe isn't as far along as I think she should be given our financial situation. Just so I understand, when you say you've come a long way, can you clarify that? Yeah, I no longer walk out of grocery stores without everything I went to buy because it seems
Starting point is 00:28:02 a little more expensive than I think it should be. And that's something four years ago I would have done easily. I'm buying whatever I need. It doesn't matter. I know it doesn't matter. I'm not worried about the small costs of things. I just get what I need. Four years ago when your net worth was around $7.5 million. Yeah, that's probably accurate. For everybody listening, $7.5 million is when you can stop checking your receipt at the grocery store and splurge for the extra bottle of, you know, Topo Chico. All right. You heard it here first.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Another rich person agonizing over grocery spending. This really shows you how hard it is to rewire your money psychology. It also shows that Tom and Julie are both deeply embedded in this frugality dynamic. That dynamic becomes comfortable. It becomes an identity. And for the two of them, it's an identity they've actually been very successful at. But they're here talking to me because they want to change that identity. In order to do that, you've got to rewire your money psychology.
Starting point is 00:29:12 And that is challenging, whether you make $50,000 a year or $500,000 a year. if you want to change your money psychology, I put together a free mindset mini course. This walks you through the steps to identify your invisible scripts around money and then change them. And you can get it for free at IWT.com slash episode 60. Now, I'm glad that Tom is feeling free at the grocery store. But we're talking about $12 million. And a lot more than that as it continues to close. compound. I've got to have them thinking bigger than the grocery store. So I'm curious what Tom
Starting point is 00:29:55 thinks the problem is and what role he has played in it. I spent over 20 years fine-tuning my core message from I Will Teach You to Be Rich of Living Your Rich Life, which is why I was so thrilled when Masterclass reached out and asked me to teach a class. Because I've spent so many years helping people define their rich life. My financial wellness class is now available on Masterclass, where I cover how to automate your finances so your money works for you in your sleep, how to break free from financial anxiety, and how to create a financial system to live your own true rich life.
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Starting point is 00:31:23 What's the area of life that you want to spend more on this year? A lot of people will say health or relationships. Some people will say travel. Let's talk about food and health for just a second. For example, in my life, my wife and I both decided we're going to spend more on health. And that means having a personal trainer. It means having someone make meals tailored to our maximum. so that we don't have to think about it.
Starting point is 00:31:47 But you don't have to pay for a private chef to do that. One great option is to make healthy eating convenient by getting meals from Factor. They take the work out of healthy, macro-dense meals so you can start eating better now. Factor is a chef-crafted, dietitian-approved meal delivery service that fits into your goals and schedule.
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Starting point is 00:32:33 Head to factor meals.com slash remit 50 off. And use code Ramit 50 off to get 50% off your first factor box plus free breakfast for one year. offers only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewal subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with Factor. It is that emotional component that we need to work on. I mean, we, she's one of the reasons why I love her is where we're similar. She's super smart. Like she knows, she knows, she understands the time value of money, understands like, hey, look, we could both quit our jobs.
Starting point is 00:33:16 today and we would not have to worry about money, we could live the same lifestyle. You know, we've done those calculations, but she just can't accept it. It's almost like, and the whole thing where we talked about too, like how would she describe herself? She would say that we're middle class, full stop, right? Middle class. That's what she would say. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:33:40 And it's, I feel a little bit similar. It's hard to talk about it. I totally know that there's a lot of people that we know that are way more money than we will ever have. And there's hundreds of thousands, millions of people who are way more net worth, whatever. But you're never going to win. You're never going to have the most. It's not a competition. But at some point, you have to look at the numbers and just like take the win and say like we kind of because we say, because we are fortunate,
Starting point is 00:34:10 because we were lucky enough to have education, we are where we are. And just like take the win. And it's almost, if I've ever been in a sales meeting and like there's a salesperson that just won't take yes for an answer, right? It's just like, take the win and like stop, right? And I feel like that's intellectually where we need to get to. Just like take the win and like understand we have options because of where we're at. And we could be doing things differently.
Starting point is 00:34:36 And it does kind of like when Jill was talking about back when our kids were younger and I didn't want to get a babysitter because I didn't want to pay $15 an hour. That breaks my heart. I mean, it's tough to hear, but try to change. I think we could make it happen. I think it's just making the decision to make it happen. And hopefully we can kind of expand it and do more and more.
Starting point is 00:35:10 But I think the main thing, I think, is just both of us realizing, like, we can make that stuff happen. And we kind of do have a magic wand. As we all know, all anybody is guaranteed is today. And it's just that that hits a little closer to home for us than some people. So we just got to take advantage of knowing that and being able to act on it. Let's talk about the stakes. Julie, I understand you recently had a medical procedure.
Starting point is 00:35:45 I wonder if you can share a little bit of that with me. so I can understand it. I had a double lung transplant in October of 2020. By that time, I was like on oxygen all the time and could barely make it up the stairs and it just seemed like it didn't really, there was not a lot of value in pursuing the diagnosis. But anyway, so I had this undetermined condition.
Starting point is 00:36:15 And the, I mean, basically like these lung conditions, it's there's the only path forward after a point is a lung transplant. And so you go through this workup to get a lung transplant. And then you get put on this wait list. You have a score that is based on many things. But a key one of them is how long they anticipate you have less. to live based on your lung function and some other inputs. And I was incredibly lucky to get a call from the transplant center a couple days after I was put on the transplant list. And I got a transplant and I had my first six months were pretty rough, roughly 50% of people who have a lung
Starting point is 00:37:13 transplant survive five years, roughly 30% survive 10 years. So, well, my quality of life is very high right now and there's things I can control and I am controlling them. There's many things that I can't control at the cellular level. Like rejection. Graft rejection is a big one. And so it, my my time isn't nobody's time is unlimited but I feel like my having and a long life is is by no means a guarantee and then also I feel like there's a question of quality I know people who have lived for 20 years and bike all the time and just have a really full life with transplant but then I know other people who are a year or two out and have had major setbacks. And so I feel extremely lucky to to have this gift because if things have gone differently, my outcome could have been very different.
Starting point is 00:38:32 But now I think I've had this, I've just been wrestling with, okay, how do I use this time for a while. According to my calculations, I have about like a 67% chance of living five years post-transplant, so another three and a half years, roughly. And so, but I'm behaving like I was when I thought I might live to be 90. And there's like virtually no chance I'll live to be nine. But then to actually change my behavior to reflect that reality, I feel like, is really a hard, it's hard to go from intellectually grasping that to making those changes.
Starting point is 00:39:24 This isn't just about having a lot of money and finding it difficult to spend it. Julia reveals that she knows of her own mortality. and she knows that statistically in the next 10 years, she likely will die. This isn't just games. It's not just numbers on a spreadsheet. This is life. And so you can see why I wanted to speak to Tom and Julie. Because it's one thing to amass a large amount of money.
Starting point is 00:39:56 But it's another thing to accumulate millions of dollars and have a husband and two daughters and want to create these experiences with them and know that you have a ticking clock before you die. Why is it that people who tell me I'm stupid on social media always have the profile picture of a jar of mustard? You think I'm going to take your advice about investing when your username is Pontiac Plummer 48? No, thank you.
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Starting point is 00:42:00 deliver actionable insights and help you cut costs with confidence. Whether your company earns millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you innovate and improve. If I'd had a system like this back when I was building IWT, it would have changed everything. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, demystifying AI at net suite.com slash remit. That's netsuite.com slash remit. You know what I always remember is when my mom died, she died of cancer and she was in hospice. And it was like very clearly the end.
Starting point is 00:42:41 And she was my sister and I were in the room and she was talking and she was saying, oh, I probably won't see any of your girls graduate from college. And my daughter was in kindergarten that year. And I just remember thinking like it was April. And my mom was only going to make it another day or two. Best case. But I just kept thinking, like, you're not going to see your granddaughter graduate from kindergarten. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:43:11 College. But I feel like that even in her mind, there was like this hope or this, this like inability to come to terms with the finiteness of her life, of her situation. And I feel like that is my tension too. Like I understand. And earlier that day, you know, my mom had given us all her password. And like she knew the end was coming, but she didn't. It's like she hadn't internalized it. And that's my situation is different because I think I hopefully have more time than she
Starting point is 00:43:55 had at that point. But also I think my time is. very finite. Like there's, when you look at survival rates for transplantees, it's not a great outlook, but yet I'm living, like I'm planning to live to 100 and need long-term care and all this. And I feel like there's a big question in my mind about not only like the quantity of my life, but the quality of my life.
Starting point is 00:44:28 And the quality of my life is pretty great now. Like I am like best case or maybe not best case, but I have had a very successful outcome for the procedure that I had. But I'm not. And so I need to be taking it. Like I understand intellectually I need to be taking advantage of this time. But yet I'm still stuck in worrying about the opportunity. of what I spend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Julie, the story about your mom is so interesting and telling. And what is interesting to me most is about the way you tell that story. In that your mom, in her last days, intellectually knew that it was her time to go. But emotionally, she wasn't ready to accept it. She had this tension. And when you tell the story, your first analysis of it is, my situation is different. I have longer.
Starting point is 00:45:42 But from my perspective, your situation is quite similar. Your mom couldn't grapple with the difference between intellectually what was going on, what she accepted, and emotionally what she couldn't accept. Do you see any similarities? to you? I do. I feel like I'm having trouble acting like I should, if I would advise myself as a friend, like I would say, oh, just enjoy this time.
Starting point is 00:46:23 But then I find myself sucked into my spreadsheets all day. Who taught the two of you. what to do with your millions and millions of dollars? Nobody. And that's where we're at. Yeah. And why we're, you know, living less of a life maybe than we could be. And it's about experiences and getting out because what do I want my girls to remember?
Starting point is 00:46:54 I would want them to have happy memories of me. I would want them to say, oh, gosh, I remember doing that with my mom. Julie's mom was unable to face reality. But in many ways, Julie herself hasn't started to truly grapple with the reality of her situation. She has over $12 million. She has two young daughters. And she has a ticking clock on how long until she dies. You would think that it would be easy to make changes.
Starting point is 00:47:34 but it's not. I remember studying psychology in college and we were studying human behavior specifically around patients who received a terminal diagnosis if they did not take their medicine. And everybody kind of shrugs and laughs and says, of course they take their medicine.
Starting point is 00:47:53 It's life or death? Wrong. About 50% of patients did not adhere to their medication, even when they were facing death. And we can see here with Julie that she really wants to change. She's come to me, she's gone through an application process. She is here, but she still finds it incredibly difficult.
Starting point is 00:48:16 In part two of this episode, I will continue my conversation with Tom and Julie. And I think you will be surprised at the direction the conversation takes. As you can hear from today's episode, so much of how we treat money. involves our money mindset. So to get all the mindset material that I discussed, you can go to IWT.com slash episode 60. And be sure to tune in next week to hear part two of this conversation with Tom and Julie. Here's a sneak peek of that conversation now. I had a double lung transplant in October of 2020. According to my calculations, I have about like a six, six, 67% chance of living five years post-transplant, so another three and a half years, roughly.
Starting point is 00:49:13 But I'm behaving like I was when I thought I might live to be 90. And there's virtually no chance I'll live to be nine. At some point, we're going to be looking back and saying, why didn't we do the stuff we could do when we could do it, which is now. There's no virtue in living a smaller life than you have to. but yet it does feel sort of satisfying in some way. I can't quite explain why. Thanks for listening to I Will Teach You to Be Rich. I'm Rameet Satie.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Please follow the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven't read I Will Teach You to Be Rich, my book, pick up a copy. You can get it at any bookstore or any library, and it will show you the specific tactics for how to build the I Will Teach You to Be Rich system into your personal finances.

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