Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi - 95. Where Are They Now? Netflix Reunion with Nathalie

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

In this special limited series, we’re following up with couples from my Netflix show, How To Get Rich. Tune in to hear what’s new, what isn’t, and where their money conversations have gone since our taping. Today, we check in with Nathalie to learn if she's curbed her spending at all. This episode is brought to you by: Ness Well | IWT listeners can get an extra 5K welcome bonus when they apply for the Ness Card at nesswell.com/ramit. Babbel | Right now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you’ll get an additional 3 months for FREE. Just go to Babbel.com and use promo code RAMIT. LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/RAMIT. Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Let me share some of the coolest ways that my community has recently used money to live a rich life. One member did a month-long honeymoon in Europe after deciding she didn't want a big wedding. Another member bought a VW SUV that was their dream car that they've wanted for years. And another member made a rule that any time she buys a ticket for an event, she always buys a second so that she can bring a friend. These are just a few examples of how my money coaching members have built systems to use their money. Notice that there's no more anxiety, that they have a smooth running system. They know when their debt's going to be paid off.

They can feel comfortable spending on the things they love. They can actually spend less time on their finances while living an amazing life. In my money coaching program, members also get access to live events every month, including topics like money with aging parents and how to create amazing vacations. That was one of my favorites where I shared how I spend my money on travel, plus Q&A directly from me. If you want to start building your rich life today, join us and get instant access to our back catalog of years of live calls. Check out IWT.com slash money coaching to join now. That's IWT.com slash money coaching to join

the program right now. I had two million left, two point two left. I blew it up. I went shopping. No, are you kidding? I just decided to spend every penny and start from scratch. Like start your wardrobe from scratch? Yeah. Okay, so what did you get? Everything and anything. You know, I'm just, I just realized, you know, like a lot of people have different addiction.

I love beautiful things. It makes me feel good and why not? It's not a toxic thing. I'm not using substances. It's just like clothes. What do you mean? spend half a million dollars in one year. It's not that bad. Yeah, in my lifetime, I must have spent, I don't know. You know, it's a beautiful addiction. At least I look in my closet and I have it.

It makes me happy. Nothing else makes me happy. Welcome to a very special, very surprising edition of the I Will Teach You to Be Rich podcast. Today you're hearing Natalie, who's one of my guests from my Netflix show, How to Get Rich. And this is a special follow-up episode. I just, Just recorded to show you where she is now after the show. Now, I vividly remember meeting Natalie on Rodeo Drive. She came to pick me up in a Ferrari, and she told me that she wanted to change her overspending habits. But along the way, I learned a lot of clues.

Before me, she had fired financial advisors. She didn't really have a need to change. And that's why we ended in the last scene at the restaurant the way we did. with me telling her, I was done working with her. Today is the first time we've spoken in a year. A few minutes past when I'm supposed to be talking to Natalie. She has not shown up. I'm going to text her and see if we're still talking.

She just wrote back, yes. We're in the Zoom. I sent her a new link. Okay. Here she comes. Natalie How's it going? Good, and you?

Good, good. It's nice to see you. You too. Long time, Nosey. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Appreciate it.

Great to see you. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's been a year. Yeah. So I am so interested to catch up with you. First of all, you want to put the phone down so you can move around. How do you feel? Yeah, I cannot put the phone down where I am, but it's okay.

I can hold it. If I get uncomfortable, I'll let you know. Okay. Well, you sound good. Everything looks good. So, fantastic. All right, so this is not the house that I visited, correct? Yes.

You sold that? I sold it. You sold it? Okay, congratulations. And where is this house located? Is it close by to the old one? It's in Beverly Hills. Oh, okay.

Great, great, great. Is this the one you're renting for $8K a month? Yeah, a little bit more, eight and a half. Got it. Okay, great. Cool. I have so much to catch up on with you. First of all, what have you heard about the show?

What did they tell you? They tell me nothing. They just say Ramit has a show. What do you mean, Ramit? Well, you're going to be on the show. It's all about Ramit. Okay. So are you excited about the show?

What are you thinking? Yeah, I'm very excited. I just hope I look good, that's all. Okay. So let's catch up. If I were to say to you, where are you today versus when we first met? Give me a quick update on everything. I mean, everything's great. I mean, I have no complaints. You know, everything's good. The house is gone. So that was a big, like, burden off my shoulder because it was like a very expensive house to run. Yeah. Although I miss it. But without money, I bought a house in Bali. And it's a very beautiful house and is making me money.

So you're renting it out? Yeah, yeah, Airbnb. Okay. Wow, I saw the pictures of it. It looks beautiful. I want to come back to that. So congratulations. You got the house in Bali and you're renting it out.

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Fill me in on the rest. Like what is. Talk to me about the rest of the money. So you had this house I think it's sold for like 2.2 million. Yeah.

No, no, 4 million. 4 million? Yeah, but I had 2 million left. 2.2 left. Yeah. So what did you do with the money? I blew it up. I went shopping.

No, are you kidding? No. Are you serious? Yeah, are you sitting down? I'm sitting down, but I don't know if I'm sitting down low enough. What? Tell me. I just decided to spend every penny and start from scratch. Start your wardrobe from scratch?

Yeah. Okay, so what did you get? Everything and anything. Wait, is this for real? Is there another camera crew around here right now? Is this actually happening? It's happening. No.

And then I thought of you and I say, what would Ramit say? And what would he say? Go for it, Natalie. What the fuck? What? Rameet would not say that. Ramit says that to some people. Not to everybody.

Hold on. I have to read this because this is too funny. Natalie. Okay, so, you know, we sent you some paperwork to complete before you get on today's call. Yes. Now, some people take this more seriously than not. others. So I was very excited to click into yours and take a look. Suspecting, oh, I'll be very interested to see. Of course, there's zero numbers in this CSP. You just didn't bother. Okay, fine.

All right, so you didn't fill that out. Maybe I didn't get it. No, you got it. All right. And then you had this. There's a comment you made. At first, I was more careful about shopping and saving. But then old habits came back. I go, oh, what habits? And then now I understand the shopping habits. Yes. You know, it's a beautiful addiction. It's a, at least I look in my closet and I have it. So we met on Rodeo Drive. I still remember very vividly. That was great. And then you kind of took me around and showed me, you know, your favorite stores. When I saw your closet, that, That was, I mean, you have beautiful clothes, no doubt about it. When you moved into this place, did you get rid of any clothes?

So I got rid of a lot of clothes, but not the purses and shoes. Well, I did get rid of some shoes. I gave it to my housekeeper. I always give it to her on my stuff. Okay. But, yeah, the closet, like the lucky thing in this house, the closet is three times the size as the other closet. Your closet in this smaller place is three times the size as the other one?

Wow, that's lucky. I'm so lucky. All right. So how much did you spend on the clothes? Oh, I bought everywhere. I mean, not a particular store. I bought when I was in Bali. I went to Turkey.

I bought in Turkey. I went to Paris. I bought in Paris. I mean, I bought a lot. How much do I spend? I don't know exactly, but not all the money. But the good news is I'm making money every month. Well, we'll get to the making part.

Hold on. I just want to know, like, what dimension are we in? Was it 10,000? A hundred thousand? Half a mill? What? Is this a joke? No, that's not a joke.

It's not that bad. Hold on half a million on clothes. Okay, break it down for me. How much was the most expensive piece? Maybe 20,000. What was it, a coat? Yeah. How did you guess?

You read my mind. Because I like clothes too. I like nice clothes. Okay. So 20K doesn't, 20K being the most expensive does not get you to 500K, unless you bought like 150 pieces. Tell me the truth.

I mean, I bought like eight coats. Okay. Okay, that might get you there. Yeah. And then, you know, a few more here and there. It just adds up. Really? It just adds up.

Wow. You don't know. Like, slowly, slowly adds up. Well, all right. But I've gotten better. I used to spend way more. So it's... You spent more than half a million on clothes?

like in a year? Yeah, in my lifetime. I must have spent, I don't know. Just notice Natalie's phrases, which are very revealing. She knows that a half million dollars a year on clothes in one year is absurd. So how does she justify it? She uses lots of dissonance reduction techniques. She says, it's not that bad.

It could be worse. She's basically comparing herself to someone who might have spent $2 million in a year. She says, I used to be bad. but I've gotten better. Yet another clever comparison to make herself feel better. And finally, it's a beautiful addiction. Did you catch that phrase? This is simply taking something and trying to redefine it.

Natalie's answers are one of the reasons that I simply told her I wouldn't work with her anymore. And if you want to know more about her story, check it out on the Netflix show. So I took this house. It was horrible. Oh, God. Did you renovate it? I did renovate it. renovated. How much did you spend on that? So I spent 100k. My landlord was like, I never had a tenant like

you. Yeah. Hold on. Natalie, just a second. You spent 100K renovating a place that you're renting. Yes. I don't mind renovating a place that you rent. I don't even mind it. I, when I lived in New York, I did a couple of renovations here and there, not 100K. But all right. So you spent 500K on the clothes. And you're not kidding about that. No. Okay, 500 plus 600 plus 100, that's 600. What else? How much was all that travel?

Because you had some nice videos from Morocco and stuff. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot. That was before, yeah. Well, we did the wedding in Morocco. Oh, yeah. Congratulations.

Yeah, we did. Thank you. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, it looked like a royal wedding. Yeah. But actually, we managed not to spend too much on the wedding. There was 200 people.

Eight outfits. Whoa. And then I paid for everybody to come on the trip, like my kids. Okay. You know. Okay. And like if you added all that up and like that wedding and the travel and then also all your travel to Paris.

Maybe like 50K. Okay. All right. So we have 500 plus 100 plus let's just say another 100 just to, you know. Yeah. So 700. Okay. What else?

Big stuff in the last year. Get a new car? Actually, I got three. new cars. No, you did not. Yeah, because no, but wait. Tell me. Right. I mean, like, I didn't get a Bentley yet. I'm planning on it, but I got basically like three BMWs. Why three? And also why BMWs for that matter? Why did you get that? Because, well, I wanted a great deal. So I thought if I buy all three from the same dealer, I'll get a better deal. And they're not all mine. So I bought one for me, one for my son, and one for my other son.

This almost sounds fake, but I promise you it's not. I met Natalie. I went to her house. I met her daughter. There are actually people who spend money like this. And so, all right, so you spent like, let's just say, $750,000 of the $2 million. And with the other million or so, you bought that place in Bali. Is that right?

Yeah, $500,000. Wow. So you got a lot of money left over. What'd you do with the rest of it? Well, it's in my investment account and I make. You're paying that quack. I know. You're paying him like 1.5%.

That's funny. Yes, my best tea. Yeah, you're quack. You know on this, we don't agree. I know you love getting robbed every month, but, you know, we each treat our money different. Some of us don't like to have somebody reach into our pocket and rob us every single month with a big smile. Some of us don't mind.

Okay. You know, to each her own. I love it. I feel when you give to the university. gives back. Plus, he knows what he's doing. I don't know what I'm doing in finance. Well, we can agree on that. Natalie makes $8,000 a month from her investment account that a guy who's probably named Chet manages and $8,000 a month from her Airbnb. I pulled out the calculator just to make the point again, reminding her that she's paying this financial advisor who manages

$1.2 million for her, which costs her $141,000 over 10 years and $3,000.3,000. $75,000 over 30 years. These are totally unnecessary fees. Totally. Entrepreneurs, let's talk about systems. This is the year you can give yourself the gift of sorting out your business systems. Tons of small businesses are held together by duct tape and 15 different platforms and tiers, but it does not have to be this way. You can simplify your business systems, save time and streamline your workflows in 2026 with NetSuite. NetSuite is the number one AI cloud ERP. It's trusted by over 43,000 businesses.

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One of the most shocking things I've learned from this podcast is that almost all of the couples who come on my show with 10 out of 10 money problems have never read a single book about personal finance. Not just my book, they never read any book about money. You'll note that when people talk about money, it is very easy to dream about what they want. And actually, I like dreaming. It's good. We should dream.

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facet.com slash remit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Facet is an SEC registered investment advisor. I'm not a member of Facet, and I have an incentive to endorse Facet as I have an ongoing fee-based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are my own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome. That's 30 years. That's nothing. That's a gift. It's a gift to him, that's for sure, and his dumb company. But okay, over 10 years, you're paying 141,000.

How do you feel about that? Be nice, Ramit. Be nice. Oh, I'm a nice guy. I'm nice and telling you just the facts. as I'm reading them here. Money. Just think about how many BMWs you could lease for that price. Yeah, but think how much money I could lose if I did it on my own. Okay.

So just so I get that numbers, you have $26,000 a month still coming in, correct? Yeah. Okay, plus $8,000 in investment returns per month, plus approximately $8,000 from the Airbnb. Yes. Okay. So that's more than you were making when we worked together, correct? Yes. Okay. That's a lot more money, like $16,000 a month more than you were made.

So what are you doing with the extra money now? Shopping. Okay. Rodeo. What else? Anywhere it could be like online. There's always something to buy. Do you care about the fact that you are shopping more than ever? No, I don't. As long as I can. afford it. I really don't. Okay. It makes me happy. I mean, nothing else makes me happy. Okay. And when you say I can afford it, what does that mean? How do you decide if you can afford

something? I mean, I see the bills and I see how much I have left every month and I see what I can buy and what I cannot buy. But I must say, my habit of shopping is not as bad as he used to be. What do you mean? You spend half a million dollars in one year. It's not that bad. Oh, and I had a facelift. Oh, okay. Oh, great. It's great. I mean, did you do that here or did you go abroad? No. So here they wanted 200,000. For a facelift? Mm-hmm. For the best doctor? Wait, what? Yes. So you said, you said, listen, I'll buy $500,000 worth of clothes. No problem. But that price for a facelift is outrageous. Outrageous. I prefer to spend it.

on a burking bag, than a facelift. Okay, so how much did you end up paying for this? 18,500. And I had the best facelift in the world. You know, I'm just, I just realized, you know, like a lot of people have different addiction. And I just realized come to term that I love beautiful things. And it makes me feel good. And why not?

It's not a toxic thing. I'm not using substances. It's just like close. Here's the key. Natalie makes $26,000 a month from child support. That amount right there subsidizes her entire worldview with money. She knows that's the floor of what she will make. So if she's ever motivated to change, it's very tempting to simply look back and say, well, I make $26,000 a month. Why would I change? What's my motivation? And if you're a little, and if you're If you know anyone who has some sort of funding like this, it could be alimony, it could be an

inheritance, it could be parents paying for your housing, sometimes this can produce very unrealistic views of money. For some people, this is essentially a subsidy, and they are subsidized. And when you're subsidized with something, you often get an unrealistic view of reality. Now, the thing is, if the subsidy disappeared, most people in a situation like this would immediately change the way they live. But if there's no reason to change, why would they? I talk a lot about the $3 versus $30,000 questions that so many of us are obsessed with. And that same principle applies to kids too. It's really easy to get caught up in the small

stuff. Did I remember to buy cheez-its? Do they need new socks? But the bigger things, like will they be protected if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? Those things often. and get pushed to the wayside. Not anymore. This year, start by asking the big questions and protect your family by term life insurance from this episode's sponsor, Fabric by Gerber Life. Fabric by Gerber life is term life insurance you can get done today. It's made for busy parents like you. It's all online on your schedule right from your couch. You could be covered in under 10 minutes with no health exam required. If you've got kids, especially if you're young and healthy, now is the best time to lock-in rates. And even if you have life insurance through your employer, it may not be enough

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promo code remit at checkout. I want to ask you some questions about the show. Okay. What surprised you about working together with me?

It was a good experience. I think driving the Ferrari on Rodeo was fun. That was cool. That was cool. And then, yeah, I mean,

like I realized by my daughter talking that she had a little bit of problem of me spending that much, I never realized before. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So what do you remember about that moment? Because I remember it vividly.

That was the last time we talked. Okay, tell everybody what happened. So we get there. And then you were talking to her about how I'm giving too much money to my financial advisor. And then I realized that he was bothering her that I was spending that much. Like she never voiced it out. It's just, I think he was bothering her, not because I was spending, but she just wants to make sure I don't end up broke,

which she knows I don't. And now she realizes that I always know how to make money, somewhere or another. Okay. So I remember that because we had talked a lot, right, over a long period of time. Yeah. And I think we made some progress.

Initially, you were planning to open another restaurant. Then I remember we talked on the phone and you decided not to do it. Things got really expensive. I thought that was a great decision. And then I discovered that you sold your house without talking to me at all. It's your house, your money, but okay. And then you did not want to switch away from the financial advisor. So I have to tell you, I was shocked.

I was shocked that that was your reaction. And I was shocked that I was showing you, look, this money is, literally being taken out of your pocket with no benefit. In fact, you're actually getting worse results. And that was why I said, you know what, Natalie, I wish you the best, but we are done. Yes. Did that surprise you? No.

Yeah. I can handle it. Yeah. And all you guys at the show, you ran it as well, you know, even if we had, we didn't see eye to eyes on some stuff, we still had a good connection. And it was a very nice experience. Yeah. You know, I'm a stubborn person.

And I always do what I want. I could take advice, I appreciate it, a kind, thank you. You know, I appreciate. I don't get offended by it. But at the end of the day, I'm going to do me and what I feel is right in my heart. And I always go with my gut feeling. And what my gut feeling says never lies to me. Good.

I'm glad to hear that. Regardless of what anybody chooses, because different people do different things with their money. Yeah. It's their money. It's their rich life. It's not mine. My job is to show them different ways of looking at money and life, and ultimately it's up to them. So I respect that you chose your own path, not what I would have chosen, but I respect that you chose it.

With all this extra money you're making now, do you have any plans to open that restaurant? I would never reopen that restaurant with my money. Ever again. You want an investor. I want to do it with people really that are experienced. Somebody that's going to come, love my idea, invest in it. And I want to be a very, very small percentage in it, very small. I just don't want to run this business.

Well, you're making money. You're making 26 plus 8 plus 8 every month, right? Yeah. That's a lot of money. For some people. How much is a lot for you? Honestly, the way my budget is, I think I need at least minimum 100k a month. A hundredk a month.

And then what are you going to do differently? You're going to... It's not doing differently. It's like, you know, the more money you make, the more expenses you have. So if I made 100K amounts, I'd have probably a mortgage, a bigger house, more, you know, more bills. Okay. More shopping, nicer cars. More traveling.

Okay. I agree. You know, the craziest thing is I partially agree. Like, if people make more money, I think they should spend more. Absolutely. Of course. And I do want to invest more. And that's where my mind changed. Because before, I really didn't care about investing so much more. I care more about shopping. But now I think what I did learn from the show and with my mistake for life is I should invest more now. Okay. Why? Well, it's good to invest and I can make more money too. Okay. That was fascinating. As a reminder, that was Natalie, a guest on my Netflix show. Now, before I shot the show, I thought a lot about my philosophy on money.

I went back, I reread my foundational pieces. I talked to the producers a lot, and I give a lot of thought to how I wanted to show up and really what I wanted to reveal about human nature on this show. And I realized something had changed over time. When I first started out, success for me was being able to get a huge transformation and put up a big photo, a before and after, a testimonial on our website. You know, this person paid off $50,000 a debt and now they doubled their salary. I still love those things. I put them on my site and social media all the time.

But over time, I've also come to realize that not everyone is ready to pay off $125,000 of debt or get a $50,000 raise. In fact, some of them don't even want to. Many people just want to go from A to B, not A to Z. And so my job is to try to help them as much as they're ready to receive and then to capture that story. Some people will make it. Some won't. People are people. And Natalie is a great example of that.

To her, life is great. She buys beautiful clothes. She has a house in Beverly Hills and Bali. and she gets over $26,000 a month in child support, along with approximately $16,000 a month in other income. Why would she change? What's her motivation? The answer, as you can see, is that she really doesn't want to change.

And this is typical of a lot of people, but Natalie is just an extreme example of that. Think about it. If you were in a similar situation, do you think that you would be motivated to change? Really think about it. It's easy to say, of course I would. I want a better life. But really think about what having $26,000 a month coming in does to the way you look at money. Now, this is why I don't preach or proselytize about money. If you want to change, you have to be ready for it and you have to

come to me. And even when people come to me, like Natalie did, who applied to be on the show and went through a lot of hoops, many people are not ready to make changes. I hope that Natalie's example is instructive because each of us, including me, has a part of our lives where we are really not ready to make a change. Sometimes we may actually not need to. Now, be sure to watch her story and others on my Netflix show, How to Get Rich. Subscribe to this podcast where you will see more stories about couples, some in $800,000 of debt, some with $13 million in net worth, and listen to them as they talk about their

money challenges. If you want help directly with your own money, you can get my book, I Will Teach You You Can Get My Book, I Will Teach You Can Join my Money Coaching Group at IWT.com slash money coaching. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to I Will Teach You to Be Rich. I'm Ramit Sati. Please follow the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

If you haven't read I Will Teach You to Be Rich, my book, pick up a copy. You can get it at any bookstore or any library, and it will show you the specific tactics for how to build the I Will Teach You to Be Rich system into your personal finances. Oh, God. Oh, wow. What? Oh, yeah, I see them all. He's like, right. Hey, you guys, down, down, down, down. Let's go. Out, out. Out. Out. Did they miss me? Of course they miss here. They're so big now. Out, out, out. Get out, get out.

If you can handle people, get out.