Motivation Daily by Motiversity - CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 3 MONTHS! (Listen before 2025)

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

Every new day is another chance to CHANGE YOUR LIFE.Dr. Benjamin Hardy gives a motivational speech on how the smallest changes to your day can make a big difference to your life and will set you on a path for the life you want in 2025."Let the future dictate what you do in the present, rather then letting the present dictate how you see the future."― Dr. Benjamin HardySpeakers:Dr. Benjamin HardyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.benjaminhardyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbenjaminhardy/?hl=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/drbenjaminhardyTwitter: https://x.com/drbenjaminhardyCole Da SilvaYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ColeLuisDaSilvaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/coleluisdasilva/?hl=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/ColeLuisDaSilva/Twitter: https://twitter.com/coleluisdasilvaWill HollisYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_RI8e9dRRcT686zisflMNAInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/williamkinghollis/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello listeners. Motivosity is excited to share that we have launched a new podcast called Morning Motivation by Motivore. If you are looking to start your day with positivity and the most uplifting motivational audio, this is the show for you. For today's episode of Motivation Daily by Motivority Podcast, we are sharing a recent episode from the Morning Motivation podcast. If you like it, go follow the show. New episodes are being released every week. The link is in the description.

It's not going to change in a positive way by chance. It literally has to by choice. You have to decide. You have to decide I'm going to do something about this. I'm going to learn from this. I'm not going to keep seeing it the same way. I have a choice. Like, I either can reshape it, reshape the meaning of that conversation,

turn into something beneficial, turn into something beneficial, turn in, to learning and growth or just let it be. And if I don't do anything about it, then the past is going to dictate the present rather than the present dictating the past. What are you looking back for? There ain't nothing back there. The past isn't going to save you. The past isn't going to help you become the person you want to become.

The past ain't going to make you rich. The past ain't going to help you lose weight. All it's going to do is slow down. your journey. If we were to ask, well, who are you going to be in 10 years from now? Most people haven't really thought about it. And so most people assume that who they are in the present is going for the most part be the same person they are in the future. Daniel Gilbert, who's a Harvard psychologist, has been studying this for decades, attributes that mostly just to a lack of imagination, just that most people are not simply thinking about it. And so because they're not thinking

about it, they just push the present into the future. From my perspective, it's a lot more useful to imagine the future and then pull the future into the present. So yet let the future dictate what you do in the present rather than let the present dictate how you see the future. And I say it's a skill. It's honestly a skill. Developing imagination for your future self, starting to build the connection with that identity and then honestly starting to operate from that identity. So getting connected to the future self, a lot of it's just really about like, am I on the right track? Am I on a track? I want to be on. Do I like this? It's really a way of having conversations with yourself. it's very in line with just the whole framework of important versus urgent, right? And so it's like if everything feels urgent and you're not connected to what's important, then you're probably not making massive strides forward.

You're probably on autopilot. You're probably on the hamster wheel. So I think it's extremely important, even if you feel stressed, even if you feel busy, even if you feel like you don't have those five minutes to just go and sit and sit in your journal and just write all the things you're sure. You probably need that more than anyone. You know, if someone had five minutes and wanted to start this, like they're bought in. What would somebody do?

I've got five minutes my day. That's all I got. What would be the practice that I get into? If you only are going to give yourself five minutes, period, flat, actually do it at night. So research shows that 90% of people procrastinate sleep by just mindless scrolling. And so they're literally procrastinating sleep and literally putting their future self in a whole the next morning because of mindless consumption. So, and we all, you know, that's very common. And so in my view, what you do in the last hour of your day is the most potent form of habit formation.

So like what we do at night right before we sleep is going to inform our habits way more than any other period of the day. And so a lot of a huge, huge amount of research on this, that if you just simply at the end of your day, pull out your journal and just write down three things from that day that you are grateful for. It's so basic, but it's shown dramatically to increase happiness. to increase sleep quality. It just gets things down, but also if you just give yourself three to five minutes, a lot of times because people are not practiced at this, and I have different iterations of this. I have, in my mind, a lot deeper forms of reflection than just simply writing what you're grateful for. But this is like, honestly, just a start because it trains people to look back at the day and to think about it. And so by actually thinking about it and pondering it, they'll say,

well, actually, you know, that person at work was super nice to me. I'm grateful for that. So now they're starting to take ownership of their past. They're starting to create the frame. They're starting to actually pull usefulness from it. And so they can then think, well, today actually was pretty great. Or there was components of today that were all right. And so just by simply doing that, that's a great start. Obviously, they're connected. But what's the difference between kind of really imagining yourself in the future versus having a goal? Imagining your future self is what can inform your goals. And so, like, as an example, when I was a graduate student, I really wanted to be a professional author.

I saw that as something I wanted to do, and so that informed the goals I set, such as I want to get a book deal, which goal subsequently allowed me to go and start blogging online and learning how to develop an audience so that I actually could get that book deal. So my future self, the person I wanted to be, thinking about my identity, identity and goals are highly correlated. From my view, I think about my future self quite long-term, but also much more like saying the next like three years. Who am going to be in three years? Obviously, with a growth mindset, you're a lot more connected to or even identified by your future self than a fixed mindset. Fixed mindset would be you're overly identified with who you are today or even who you were in the past.

Growth mindset means you're not overly identified with who you are today. You know that who you are is flexible. So you're getting really, really connected with who you could be in the future, believing that your future self could be massively more capable, more skilled, more confident. And there's a lot of research as well on the idea of getting emotionally connected to your future self. And so you want to think about it, but ultimately you want to get to a place of knowing your future self, having a friendship with your future self, beginning to invest in your future self. For me, reaching a place of acceptance, commitment, even gratitude, appreciation, and then you get to the place of knowing. where that's like that's where I would say you're you're kind of at a place of confidence. You already, you've reached a place of knowing that that's who you are now, even if there's not that much evidence.

If you're building that evidence, you start to know that that's the direction you're going. You start to talk more about it. You're not that afraid of it. And so like, I would say that knowing is also really connected with commitment where like you're now like going to find the way. This fits, you know, with Frankel as well. Victor Frankel and Mansford for meaning where he says when the Y is strong enough, you know, you can bear anyhow, but also when the Y is strong enough,

you will find the how. So this fits with hope and what would be considered pathways thinking that once you get really committed, you have that place of knowing. I'll sit in my journal. It could be three years in the future. And I'll literally think about the context of my future self. Think about where I want to be. And I will then write a letter as my future self to me, who would be my future self's past self.

I really don't think it needs to take that long. Like you could just take 10 or 15 minutes. It's really a skill. I think that the past and the future are skills. You get good at like drafting them. So you get better and better at being flexible. There's a huge concept in psychology called psychological flexibility. And so a lot of this has to do with your ability to frame, reframe, see it from a different

angle, not be so dogmatic about one angle or one view. So I can know, for example, that my view of even today is going to change and that in a week from now I'll have different perspectives. And so I don't need to be so clingy, I guess you could say, to one angle. But also that same thing can be true of my future self. And so I think you become a lot more flexible, less rigid about, you know, needing to do it right. I can do it as a draft, just like I would draft a blog post. And so I can get into the mindset, really think about my future self, think about where I want to be, and play with it.

I could play with my imagination. The past is actually a representation of who I am now. Rather than who I am now is a representation of my past. Stop looking back. Start looking forward. All the past is going to do is slow down your journey. You gotta change shit up if you want to be great. You see, a lot of y'all haven't seen that success in your life

because you keep looking backwards and set it towards the things you want to achieve. You got to realize that if you want to make a significant change in your life, you've got to start doing things differently. You can't expect different results doing the same shit you've been doing for the last six years. You can't expect different results by doing the same shit you've been doing for the last six months. We gotta change it up, homie. You gotta step your game up. Push to the next level.

Work later. Work longer. Work harder. If you want to be great, you gotta act like it. Put those blinders on and start grinding. Act like a wolf and stop looking over your shoulder like a sheep. Look to the future. You got this shit.

Let's go. Who you are in the present is basically what is creating the past. Obviously, the past influences who you are in the present. It's kind of a circular. But memory is always a reconstruction in the present. And one of my favorite psychologists, he wrote a book called Time and Psychological Explanation. He said that it's more accurate to say that the present causes the meaning of the past

than to say that the past causes the meaning of the present. And so what I take from that and what I've learned from that is that, is that who I am in the present, it's largely up to me what I do with my past, how I frame it, whether I utilize it or whether I believe it's driving me. And I've learned more and more to use my past as a tool, but also to turn it into an asset where I create more and more value from it. Getting in touch with your future self is very similar to just honestly meditation. It's not the same as meditation, but it could be a form of meditation. And so I would argue if you're not taking time regularly, even to just sit and just, like, think for even like five or ten minutes,

but, like, everything feels too overwhelming, then you're, from my view, you're definitely, like, probably off course. If I thought about it, just like with thinking about those three gratitudes, if I actually think about it, and I say, how am I a different person than I was this morning when I woke up? The initial reaction would be, I'm not. It's only been, like, 12 hours. How could I be different? But if I really think about it, what do I now know that I didn't know before. What, you know, what experiences have I had that my prior self hadn't had when I had just woken up? And if I actually think about it, just like gratitude, I'm creating the frame of my past. I actually can and do see that I am different than my past self, even 12, 13 hours ago

or the night before, 24 hours ago. And by actually focusing on that and by appreciating that, I now acknowledge that I've changed, which increases my psychological flexibility. It allows me to see that I am not the same person, that I am growing, that I am evolving, which is really useful for then getting skillful, you know, thinking of your future self as a different person. If I'm different from who I was 24 hours from now, then it's likely that my future self- could be different in 24 hours in positive, meaningful, and even self-directed ways. And so I just think that it's really, mastery of the past is very powerful for also developing mastery of your future.

How could this be applied to help somebody get unlocked from something that feels very traumatic. The past is either an asset or it's a liability. And if it's an asset, that means it's something that's continuing to pay you more and more. You believe that the present and future are better as a result. That because of that experience, you're continuing to get kind of interest in the present and future, whereas if it's a liability, you believe it's continuing to drain your present and future. And that is all based on how you're choosing to frame it, what you're choosing to do with it. And in the beginning, you may not feel like you have choice in the matter. how could you see it any different?

And that's like the ability to get to the point where you start to try. And you start to believe that it's possible and then you start to work on it, maybe even start to get help in looking at it from a different angle, starting to learn from it, starting to think that it was something useful. Even if you find reasons, just like finding things you're grateful for at the end of the day, you've got to like actually exert some creativity on it. You have to actually like, it is creativity, just as much as creativity towards your future. When life gets busy, pause, take a deep breath.

Download mindset and listen to your favorite inspirational speeches to unlock your full potential.